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After sex, what do you say to your partner

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By *ystical fool OP   Man
6 days ago

Leicester

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By *tlanshiaWoman
6 days ago

Chatham

In my best Jacob Marley impression “get out”

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By *nSTemptations11Couple
6 days ago

lincs

‘Fuck me it’s hot in here’ 🤣🤣

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By *2000ManMan
6 days ago

Worthing

Best 30 seconds of my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
6 days ago

I’ve got a habit of giving it a Macho Man Randy savage kind of ohhhhhhhhh yeaaaaahhhhh!

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By *ortheastFarmerMan
6 days ago

Northumberland

Dont worry uncle I wont tell anyone our secret 🤣

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By *reative-mindMan
6 days ago

Exeter

Sorry. What was your name again?

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By *uckMe12FreeMan
6 days ago

(User no longer on site)

I'm going to send you an email later, if you could just complete the attached performance survey and forward it onto me, that'd be great.

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By *yprusdreamWoman
6 days ago

Cyprus

Yiamas motherfucker

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By *aven RedWoman
6 days ago

who knows, but it's not raining x

We're not done x

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By *morousCouple8Couple
6 days ago

Cumbria

PLEASE don’t wipe it on the curtain

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
6 days ago

Round the bend

Thank you

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
6 days ago

Bristol

We're done here, please leave now.

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By *sWyldWoman
6 days ago

Edinburgh

If we can manage words I'm disappointed

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By *aptain Squirt A LotMan
6 days ago

Mansfield

In the words of Ace Venture " I'm sorry that's never happened to me before"

And then go again

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By *hilly1515Man
6 days ago

I like to make an impact with my partners usually by saying the wrong name as follows

Tell you what Marlene that was a lot better than last time..

it's about 4.8 seconds after that the impact usually arrives rite in the nuts..

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By *hickthighs26Woman
6 days ago

your hotlist


"Dont worry uncle I wont tell anyone our secret 🤣"

🤣🤣

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By *eneralKenobiMan
6 days ago

North Angus

Not my finest work

Or sorry it’s my first time

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By *ifelover999Man
6 days ago

Eastbourne

Dont tell your daughter

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By (user no longer on site)
6 days ago

That was brilliant and the coffee is still hot.... result

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By *hil most chillMan
6 days ago

London, South East & Europe

I'm so sorry

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By *ensualbicockMan
6 days ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Shall we go again

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By *ifelover999Man
6 days ago

Eastbourne


"Thank you "

Your welcome

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By *estructionDollyWoman
6 days ago

Manchester

Are you ever going to stop crying?

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By *upra1Man
6 days ago

essex area

Next time can you invite your best friend.

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By *vaRoseWoman
6 days ago

Ankh-Morpork

That’ll do pig, that’ll do

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
6 days ago

Round the bend


"Thank you

Your welcome "

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *ifelover999Man
6 days ago

Eastbourne


"Thank you

Your welcome

🤣🤣🤣🤣"

Same time tomorrow

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By *imon_hydeMan
6 days ago

Stockport

Sorry, what was your name again?

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By *ortheastFarmerMan
6 days ago

Northumberland

Best slide you back in the freezer, I swear your funerals next week.

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By *eneralKenobiMan
6 days ago

North Angus


"That’ll do pig, that’ll do"

I’m wondering if the back hand I would receive for this comment would be worth it

I think it might be

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
6 days ago

Norwich

Night night x

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By *kphooey43Man
6 days ago

Barnet

I like my eggs sunny side up, bacon done to a turn, and please spread butter on the toast.

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By *vmarisaTV/TS
6 days ago

Motherwell

See you soon huni mm Mx 👿🍆💦💦💋

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By *glyBirdWoman
6 days ago

Somewhere dark and gloomy

Nothing, I just either give a 👍👎🫳

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By *issy LanaTV/TS
6 days ago

Slough

Thank U 😋🤤👅💦💦💦

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By *ortheastFarmerMan
6 days ago

Northumberland

Right stepsister, lets get you out this washing machine.

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By *avexxMan
6 days ago

cheshire

would you like a cup of tea

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
6 days ago

Hets/Beds/Leeds

Thanks Righty, Left Hand you’re up next

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By *imandKCouple
6 days ago

Ashfield

Really

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By (user no longer on site)
6 days ago

I mean it goes without saying a hand shake and hi 5… 😂

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By *un guy300Man
6 days ago

Swansea

Who do you want next

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By (user no longer on site)
6 days ago

Shit I left the oven on

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By *iking_on_a_bikeMan
6 days ago

marlborough

Stay where you are, [name] wants their turn.

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By *iddle and SquatCouple
6 days ago

Bristol

Round 7?

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
6 days ago

near Putney Heath


" "

I can't move. Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
6 days ago

…I don’t usually cry for 40 mins after

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By *ayBeeTV/TS
6 days ago

Winchester

That's it?

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By *manteeCouple
6 days ago

Manchester

I'll be home soon lol

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By *ortheastFarmerMan
6 days ago

Northumberland

I only cum quick becuase the dog was licking my balls

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By *r6golfMan
6 days ago

Scarborough

Now get yourself of to school your gonna be late hahaha

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By *2000ManMan
6 days ago

Worthing

[Removed by poster at 14/04/26 15:57:31]

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By *2000ManMan
6 days ago

Worthing

Lets hand a beer glass round for a collection from everyone.

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By *ortheastFarmerMan
6 days ago

Northumberland


"Now get yourself of to school your gonna be late hahaha "

And I though my humour was dark 🤣🤣

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By *uitedGent.Man
6 days ago

Milton Keynes

“I swear, it’s usually bigger.. “

“It’s not you, I’ve had too much to drink”

“It slipped”

“Please don’t tell my therapist about this”

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By *azzabiguyMan
6 days ago

Longton

[Removed by poster at 14/04/26 16:12:42]

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By *earditallWoman
6 days ago

Lancaster

Better luck next time

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By *uitedGent.Man
6 days ago

Milton Keynes

What do you mean no one’s ever used those two fingers before …

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By *ash918Man
6 days ago

Basingstoke

Make sure u hold it in and I’ll make a run for the towel 😂

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By *partharmonyCouple
6 days ago

Tonbridge

How much for a second round?

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By *hams123Man
6 days ago

London

200 points to Gryffindor!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
6 days ago

Leeds

Send your mum in on your way out.

The mr

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By *elsh-boyMan
6 days ago

cardiff


"That’ll do pig, that’ll do"

hahahahahahahaha

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By *uttercupWoman
6 days ago

Borders

Now get off and don't snore. Night

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By *era123Man
6 days ago

Cheshire

Don’t snore too loud…

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By *rdenites2Couple
6 days ago

Leicestershire

Pass me some loo roll quickly so it doesn’t go all over the newly washed bed sheet.

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By *hilly1515Man
6 days ago

go on off you pop the lawn won't mo itself.

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By *ourpornfixMan
6 days ago

East Cheshire

Oh, it's you!

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By *hunky GentMan
6 days ago

Stamford, Lincs

That egg should be boiled by now.

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By *herrybakewellCouple
6 days ago

Staffordshire

Usually a fuck yeah.....and then I need a wee.

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By *WB85Man
6 days ago

Staffordshire

Usually just little noises that make it clear I've enjoyed myself whilst spooning.

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By *layfullsamMan
6 days ago

Solihull

Fuck me my wrist hurts

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By *4bimMan
6 days ago

Farnborough Hampshire

later

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By *ermite12ukMan
6 days ago

Solihull and Romford

Your sister is much better.

(Then wait for your nutz to be crushed.)

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By *aked beachMan
6 days ago

small cave, behind the big cave.

One sugar in mine, and egg and chips while you’re at it……well go on then

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By *ein-guyMan
6 days ago

Isle of Wight

To my regular fwb. "You were awesome as always. If I rest a bit....I'm good to go again" 😏😈

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By *ustyT85Man
6 days ago

Swarthmoor

Was that a good 30 seconds for you ?

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By *ools and the brainCouple
6 days ago

couple, us we him her.

BLAMO! THAT JUST HAPPENED.

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By *ustforfun1759Couple
6 days ago

IRVINE

Let's go again mrs

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By *obilebottomMan
6 days ago

All over

Any chance for a cup of tea?

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By *reachers SonMan
6 days ago

north West

They don't usually wake up and if they do, "surprise!"

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By *ualityNotQuantityUKCouple
6 days ago

Derby

Shall we turn the camera off now?

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
6 days ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

For the last time, you can't have my autograph. Have a jelly baby, instead

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By *rightonsteveMan
6 days ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"For the last time, you can't have my autograph. Have a jelly baby, instead "

Eh, up, Tina me loove, wipe up mess, fur us, will ya, nay, chick, use t’tongue like.

*Nottingham accent*

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
6 days ago

Chester

Again, again!!

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By *hrough the looking gla55Couple
6 days ago

Epsom

Focker Out!

Then nap time

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By *urvytattedprincessWoman
6 days ago

Pentney

Holy fuck! 🫠🫠

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By *andsCouple
6 days ago

Edin

Do you want me to leave the shower running ?

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By *haved man40Man
6 days ago

Stamford

I'll wake you up in 10.

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By *elix SightedMan
6 days ago

Cloud 8

Right then, time to turn you into a nice big fruit salad for the family dinner.

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By *oodgirlbadboyCouple
6 days ago

birmingham

Well !! Was he as good as his verifications made out.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
6 days ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"For the last time, you can't have my autograph. Have a jelly baby, instead

Eh, up, Tina me loove, wipe up mess, fur us, will ya, nay, chick, use t’tongue like.

*Nottingham accent*"

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By *rightonsteveMan
6 days ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"For the last time, you can't have my autograph. Have a jelly baby, instead

Eh, up, Tina me loove, wipe up mess, fur us, will ya, nay, chick, use t’tongue like.

*Nottingham accent*

"

Feckin’ spooky, ain’t it?

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By *carlettsWoman
6 days ago

Harpenden

Thank you very much?

After all manners cost nothing

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By *ralking69.Man
6 days ago

MK45

Round 3

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By *uitedGent.Man
6 days ago

Milton Keynes


"Usually a fuck yeah.....and then I need a wee. "

I always need a wee, and some snacks.

An insatiable need for beige snacky snax.

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By *urvytattedprincessWoman
6 days ago

Pentney


"Usually a fuck yeah.....and then I need a wee.

I always need a wee, and some snacks.

An insatiable need for beige snacky snax. "

Sounds like an all round great time

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By *oxy-RedWoman
6 days ago

pink panther territory

Next

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By *lim Jim MKMan
6 days ago

Milton Keynes


"Next "

👍

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By *avecooper69Man
6 days ago

Benfleet


"Next "
🤣🤣 next person or position??

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By *oxy-RedWoman
6 days ago

pink panther territory


"Next 🤣🤣 next person or position?? "

Position I'm a 1 on 1 gal lol

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By *iaisonseekerMan
6 days ago

Liverpool

That was classic intercourse

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By *uitedGent.Man
6 days ago

Milton Keynes


"That was classic intercourse "

Back of the net (a-ha)

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By *avecooper69Man
6 days ago

Benfleet


"That was classic intercourse "
. AHA !! CLASSIC line !!!

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By *orthwest.Man
6 days ago

Preston Blakburn

Your turn to sleep on the wet patch

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By *hams123Man
6 days ago

London

RKO out of nowhere!

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By *hams123Man
6 days ago

London

Put the bunny back in the box

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By *hams123Man
6 days ago

London

We were on a break.

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By *ambiThistleCouple
5 days ago

Coulston

GET THE TOWELLLLLL!!!!!!!!

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By *kphooey43Man
5 days ago

Barnet

It's bin day!

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By *r tayt2Man
5 days ago

Trim

That was A1 sharron

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod

5 days ago

Central

It depends but thanks will be in there somewhere but hopefully we've not finished everything

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By *an ClioCouple
5 days ago

Boston

Was that it?

NEXT! .....

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By *ashful_at_firstMan
5 days ago

Canterbury

Better zip up, your bus stop is the next one...

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By *lpine12Couple
5 days ago

BARMOUTH

Was he good !!!!

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By *ate2theparty808Man
5 days ago

Erdington

I know right, it’s always the quiet ones

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By *ld Stella HeelsTV/TS
5 days ago

ross on wye

Back in the box then

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By *ady SuzieXXXWoman
5 days ago

Chichester

Pay up! 😂

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By *uttercupWoman
5 days ago

Borders


"Pay up! 😂"

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By *ad NannaWoman
5 days ago

East London

Ooh, me knees!

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By *htcMan
5 days ago

MK

Me round 2?.

Wife I'm going to bed.

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By *hams123Man
5 days ago

London

Finally.....the Rock....has come back....home.

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By *anderingWelshGuyMan
5 days ago

Swansea

Shaaaaaaazaaaaammm!

Jokes I usually just cry (again jokes)

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By *gly duck cdTV/TS
5 days ago

Middlesbrough

Fancy a McDonald’s

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By *atwick_CougarWoman
5 days ago

Unknown

Is that It!!

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By *omeotherguyMan
5 days ago

Sheffield/London/Derbyshire

A cuddle and a kiss, followed by a search for snacks!

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By *lassiccokeorpepsimaxCouple
5 days ago

Cardiff

We fist bump 🤣

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By *hisIsMe58Man
5 days ago

Winchester

I've been hallucinating again, haven't I. Shouldn't have stopped taking the meds.

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By *napologeticallyUS55Couple
5 days ago

Ipswich

Sorry that was so quick! S

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
5 days ago

hexham

Hello hunny, are you there? Yes, I have been trying to phone you for the past few hours but I think my phone is on the blink… bad signal maybe?

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
5 days ago

South Wales

High five!! Xx 😄😄

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By *ellsOMan
5 days ago

hull

Erm, wake up

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By *ilverfox for youMan
5 days ago

Hull

Been that long since we last had sex so I can’t remember !!!

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By *urvycoupleMJCouple
5 days ago

Bridgend

Grab the towel😅

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By *hilly1515Man
5 days ago

hold still while I get the hamster. out

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By *ayKellyMan
5 days ago

Kinross

What did you mean "am I in"

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By *arly_tv31Man
5 days ago

Wrexham

Be home shortly honey

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By *adyLover56Man
5 days ago

Wisbech

I've just farted.

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By *ensualBlokeMan
5 days ago

London / Colchester

'Do want me to pull the dildo out of your arse or are you OK doing it?'

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By *upra1Man
2 days ago

essex area

Your husband gives better blow jobs

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 days ago

Carlisle usually

Good penis. Big fan 💜

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By *a LunaWoman
2 days ago

Wales

Put the kettle on

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By *itegoodMan
2 days ago

Lancashire

I didnt cry this time.

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By *aughty50sCouple
2 days ago

Yorkshire - but we travel a lot

Same time again tomorrow?!

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By *ose and her beastCouple
2 days ago

Watford

Ready for round 2? Normally followed by fuck off or let me recover from the first

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
2 days ago

Glos/London

Has the kettle boiled yet?

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By *lleyCat1969Man
2 days ago

Folkestone

[Removed by poster at 18/04/26 19:46:41]

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By *issot60Man
2 days ago

south east

Be home in twenty mins

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By *andleit1980Man
2 days ago

BRISTOL

So that's £150 you owe me

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By *lemFandango88Woman
2 days ago

Thirsk

Let's go round again

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By *hunkymonkey81Man
2 days ago

Sheffield

Again ?

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By *uffnmuffCouple
2 days ago

London

Night x

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By *ornucopiaMan
2 days ago

Bexley

Have you got a (female) friend who fancies a threesome with us?

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By *cotsman269Man
2 days ago

Falkirk

Same time next week ?

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By *tormQueenWoman
2 days ago

Manchester

If hes done his job right I cant say anything coherent 🤷‍♀️

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
2 days ago

Niche

Is it in yet?

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By *ontyboi76Man
2 days ago

Pontypridd

Cwtch time

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By *uttley CrewMan
2 days ago

Here

Card or cash?

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By *olgateMan
2 days ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Pay me cash

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By *oys99Man
2 days ago

Grimsby

It would save us a load of batteries if we got a mains one !!

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By *lice AgainTV/TS
2 days ago

Bristol

Who's next?

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By *oys99Man
2 days ago

Grimsby

Just remembered I have to trim the hedge tomorrow.

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By *etitesaraTV/TS
2 days ago

rochdale

"What was he like?"

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By *oxy-RedWoman
2 days ago

pink panther territory

You can feck off now

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By *actile TensionMan
2 days ago

Sussex

Sorry it's been awhile, shall I grab the wand?

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
2 days ago

North Welsh Borders

Ask them to rate me on trip advisor

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By *oys99Man
2 days ago

Grimsby

Try jumping up and down, it must be in there somewhere !!

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By *reachers SonMan
2 days ago

north West

Do I get any change?

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By *orny4youCouple
2 days ago

Huddersfield

Don’t wake hubby up on your way out

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By *avecooper69Man
2 days ago

Benfleet


"Don’t wake hubby up on your way out "
haha classic xx

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By *avecooper69Man
2 days ago

Benfleet

So do you want the credit card now or In the morning ? 😂😂

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By *onko the SaneMan
2 days ago

3rd rock from the sun

I'll go now

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By *hoc TitanMan
2 days ago

Woolwich

Normally breathless so no speech available lool

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By *equals3x8Man
2 days ago

Sheffield

I'm going for a wank now

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By *andS26Couple
2 days ago

caernarfon

Sorry

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By *ruzercolMan
1 day ago

Fareham

How much??????

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