FabSwingers.com forum: Limericks (please add you own)

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

There once was a fella from Dorset.

Shops in Tesco in nothing but a corset.

One day by the freezers.

He encountered three geezers.

Took two but the third had to force it.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

There once was a lady called Dani

Who had many of man in her fanny

Style of corned beef

Public hair like a leaf

Sucks hard sweets like a Granny.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *illabongboy1971Man
8 weeks ago

Peebles area

A man from the Forest of Dean

Invented a wanking machine

On the fortieth stroke

The bloody thing broke

And whipped up his balls into cream.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Bravo, Billabong and seductive 💕

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

There once was a woman, Brigitte.

Whose flaps swung down to her feet.

Once walking to work.

She decided to twerk.

And she squirted all over the street.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *earditallWoman
8 weeks ago

Lancaster

[Removed by poster at 13/04/26 09:26:37]

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *earditallWoman
8 weeks ago

Lancaster

There was an old lady from Leeds

Who swallowed a packet of seeds

In less than an hour her tits were a flower

And her fanny was covered in w*eds

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Nice one, Hearditall.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

There once was a lady from Kent,

That gave up cock for lent,

Her fanny closed shut,

She grew some nuts

And now he calls himself Brent

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Like it Owl 🤣

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *illabongboy1971Man
8 weeks ago

Peebles area

There once was lady from Ealing

Who had a peculiar feeling

So she lay on her back

And fingered her crack

Till she squirted all over the ceiling

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

There once was a man from Dudley,

That thought he was rather studley,

But his dick was a choad,

And he couldn’t shoot his load,

So now he just accepts that he’s ugly

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

There once was a lady from Nantucket,

Who had a fanny the size of a bucket,

As deep as it was wide, no dick touched the sides,

And you needed a missile to fuck it

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

On a roll Billabong. Horny pics as well btw 😈

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Shit Owl. You're a limerick fiend 🤪

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

"Shit Owl. You're a limerick fiend 🤪"

I blame it on hip hop and ADHD

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ewkesbury cowboyMan
8 weeks ago

Tewkesbury

There once was a man from china

Who thought he was a good climber

He slipped on a rock

Cut off his cock

Now he has a vagina

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *illabongboy1971Man
8 weeks ago

Peebles area

"On a roll Billabong. Horny pics as well btw 😈"

Cheers

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *woamigosCouple
8 weeks ago

harrow

There was a young woman from penzance

Who fell in a tram in a trance

Two passengers fucked her and so did the conductor

And the driver came twice in his pants

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Glad u didn't blame it on the sunshine or the moonlight

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Keep em cumming cowboy 🤠

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hinstrapMan
8 weeks ago

sheffield

One I know. Not made up by me

There was a young sailor from Brighton,

Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one."

She replied, "Bless my soul,

You're in the wrong hole;

There's plenty of room in the right one."

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *woamigosCouple
8 weeks ago

harrow

Upon the bridge stood the vicar of buckingham

Twidling his thumbs and sucking em

Watching the stunts of the cunts in the punts

And the tricks of the pricks who were fucking em

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Love it chin. 🤣

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Harrow to you too Amigos 👋. Nice one

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

There once was a vicar from Gibraltar.

Whose libido had started to falter.

So he popped a Viagra.

Shot like the falls of Niagra.

And came all over the altar.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

There once was a man made of cheese.

From his navel right down to his knees.

When he goes for a wee.

He pees Dairylea.

And he shits gorgonzola with ease.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

Some women have tits that are fat

Whilst others have ones that are flat

But whatever their ilk, I’ll stir up my milk

And over her tits I’ll go splat

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *vaRoseWoman
8 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

There was a young woman called Eva

Who had a remarkable beaver

It handled hard wood

As no other beast could

And left all the onlookers eager

*bows*

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rightonsteveMan
8 weeks ago

Hove, mainly…

BrightonSteve was a vag inspector

Who liked to lick lady nectar

One day with a Miss

He said whats this?

She straddled and said ‘a litre of piss’

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

"There was a young woman called Eva

Who had a remarkable beaver

It handled hard wood

As no other beast could

And left all the onlookers eager

*bows*"

Cap well and truly dothed to you 👏

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *nnandElleCouple
8 weeks ago

Brackley

My own composition:

A Bishop, a Priest and a Vicar,

Met a nun and and they plied her with liquor,

When they'd all had a turn,

They were saddened to learn,

That the Rabbi was longer and thicker.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Had to check out your pics after that Eva.....autobiographical?

Enn+Ell , Steve 🤣

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By *equals3x8Man
8 weeks ago

Sheffield

I'm the king of the swingers yeh!

My dick swings from knee to knee!

If your Mrs had the chance!

She'd go ape for it, you'll see!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

There once was a man called King Dong.

His member was ever so long.

He had a big prob.

When he tripped on his knob.

Whilst seeing the sights in Hong Kong.

Also made up a song entitled

"The all goes wrong for King Dong in Hong Kong song"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *r.ZeusMan
8 weeks ago

Basgiath War College

There once was a trickster named Zeus,

With urges he couldn’t reduce,

He’d shift shape at will,

Give the ladies a thrill

And trust that his charm would seduce

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

There once was a fella from Bristol,

Who shot spunk from his cock like a pistol,

After a load to head his wife wound up dead and now he’s got a new girl called Chrystal

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ourpornfixMan
8 weeks ago

East Cheshire

There once was a man from St Bees

Who was stung on the arm by a wasp.

When they asked "Does it hurt?"

He replied, "No, it doesn't,

But I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet."

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rightonsteveMan
8 weeks ago

Hove, mainly…

A man called Steve was at work

He was a real life berk

He sneaked on to fab

So he could grab

Some time in the toilets for a jerk

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *aveplusoneCouple (MM)
8 weeks ago

Shepperton

She was only the admirals daughter

But her navel was a base for discharged semen.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hilly1515Man
8 weeks ago

There once was a woman called Shiela, they called her the wicked revealed, with her tits on a plate she would stand at the gate whistling for her Ozzy blue healer.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *umfun24Man
8 weeks ago

wilmslow

There was a young lady from Bude

Who liked to sunbathe in the nude

…….. anyone feel free to continue?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

There once was a big bollocksed bull.

Who lived in field near Hull.

He saw a fit cow.

He said "That's my Frau (he was born in Heidleberg).

Relieved coz his ball sack was full.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rightonsteveMan
8 weeks ago

Hove, mainly…

"There was a young lady from Bude

Who liked to sunbathe in the nude

…….. anyone feel free to continue?"

She said ‘can I suck as you blow your muck?’

To the man next to her. How rude!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iaisonseekerMan
8 weeks ago

Liverpool

When venturing into the dungeon

It's not like a civilised luncheon

There's clamps, whips and chains

And administering pain

Is every Dom's favourite function

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

There was a young lady from Bude

Who liked to sunbathe in the nude

…….. anyone feel free to continue?

She got a bit frisky.

As she sipped on her whisky.

And a shag with the neighbour ensued.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *umfun24Man
8 weeks ago

wilmslow

"There was a young lady from Bude

Who liked to sunbathe in the nude

…….. anyone feel free to continue?

She got a bit frisky.

As she sipped on her whisky.

And a shag with the neighbour ensued."

Boom !!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ordermanreturnsMan
8 weeks ago

Llangollen

There once was a monk from Siberia,

Whose morals were a little inferior,

He did to a nun

What he shouldn't have done

And now she's a Mother Superior..

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *illabongboy1971Man
8 weeks ago

Peebles area

I said to myself one day "Fuck it!",

My cock's long enough to self suck it,

Wiping cum from my chin,

I thought with a grin,

If my ear was a cunt then I'd fuck it.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

A right hairy fucker from Bangor.

Did struggle to manage his anger.

Saw his wife with a man.

And the shit hit the fan.

Was her uncle...oops what a clanger.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Brilliant Billabong 🤣

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

There once was a vicar from Preston

Who took out both balls and blessed them,

With a flash and a bang angelic music began as he called over a choir boy to caress them

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
8 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

There was a young dentist from Billing

Who could do many things for a shilling

With a flick of his wrist

He could have you in bliss

And finish you off with a filling

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ister SmoothMan
8 weeks ago

Bramhall

There was a young lady from Rhyll,

Who swallowed a dynamite pill;

Her bum went bang,

Her tits went clang,

And her fanny flew over the hill...

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *illabongboy1971Man
8 weeks ago

Peebles area

A wanton young wench from Carlisle,

Practised sex like it was going out of style,

Her men gasped with surprise,

As she looked into their eyes,

And said "You can slide up either aisle!"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *evilinDavina1Man
8 weeks ago

Bristol

There once was a bloke named Jay

Loved a good roll in the hay

Running through fields

Yes it's a big deal

Along with pm Teresa May

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
8 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"There once was a lady called Dani

Who had many of man in her fanny

Style of corned beef

Public hair like a leaf

Sucks hard sweets like a Granny."

A woman self named as seductive

Decided to get all productive

She blamed Grannies for suckin'

When when we all know they're fuckin

Just blowin' which is counter productive!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
8 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

There was a young lady from Portway

Who hung by her toes in a doorway

She said to her man

Come look at me Sam

I think i’ve discovered a new way.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *runkOnLustMan
8 weeks ago

West Yorkshire

There once was a wink and a stare,

That lingered and hung in the air.

With a kiss and a thrust,

And quite d*unk on lust,

We became quite the scandalous pair.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
8 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"BrightonSteve was a vag inspector

Who liked to lick lady nectar

One day with a Miss

He said whats this?

She straddled and said ‘a litre of piss’

There was a 'young' Steven from Brighton

Who insisted on leaving the lighton.

His whole plan backfired n

He never got 'sired'

Cos his partner got a huge frighton

His partner said ' Steve, Switch it off'

And galant young Steve gave a cough !

'If you hate how I look, then off you do fook!'

And he pushed her face down in a trough!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *illabongboy1971Man
8 weeks ago

Peebles area

A fussy young man from Dundee,

Denied foreplay to his wife to be,

Although he enjoyed a fond kiss,

The problem was this,

Her fanny smelled like mature brie.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
8 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

A woman who called herself Granny

Stood at the door with her fanny -

Poking out in the street

She thought it looked sweet

And she thought herself terribly canny

Cos each time she had sex

With Wonko or Rex

She stuck her fanwah under a downpour

The neighbours were pleased

To be taunted and teased

And begged Granny C for an encore.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rightonsteveMan
8 weeks ago

Hove, mainly…

There once was a guy called steve

Granny told him to leave

She didn’t want the hassle

Of him lurking by the castle

Making her stomach heave

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Joe Bloggs had a big shiny car.

And liked driving around in a bra.

While eating a Snickers.

With one hand in his knickers.

Made a right mess in his new Jaguar.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
8 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"There once was a guy called steve

Granny told him to leave

She didn’t want the hassle

Of him lurking by the castle

Making her stomach heave "

A Brightonian know only as Steve

Kept a few tricks up his sleeve

When Granny was dry

He's whip out a grease pie

And prepare good ole Gran to recieve

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *illabongboy1971Man
8 weeks ago

Peebles area

I'm enjoying this way more than is healthy!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rightonsteveMan
8 weeks ago

Hove, mainly…

"There once was a guy called steve

Granny told him to leave

She didn’t want the hassle

Of him lurking by the castle

Making her stomach heave

A Brightonian know only as Steve

Kept a few tricks up his sleeve

When Granny was dry

He's whip out a grease pie

And prepare good ole Gran to recieve "

A bloke who was as keen as mustard

Used a load of fresh cock custard

To sweeten her foofie

So that his toothy

Wouldn’t be caught off guard

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ockdownlickdownMan
8 weeks ago

paisley

Can't believe we didn't see this classic yet...

There was a young man from Devizes,

His testes were two different sizes.

One was so small

It was no ball at all

But the other won several first prizes.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ockdownlickdownMan
8 weeks ago

paisley

A friend told me one many years ago about a policeman who either had a small or flaccid penis, or both ... I don't remember. Nor do I remember the Limerick in toto, perhaps someone can complete it? What I do remember was....

"......

He decieved his wife

Every night of his life

With the judicious use of his truncheon"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

A Bobby from Nottingham Junction

Whose organ had long ceased to function

Deceived his good wife

For the rest of her life

With the aid of a constable's truncheon.

Is this it? Courtesy of A3243 on Fabguys

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *layfullsamMan
8 weeks ago

Solihull

The sailor stood on the burning deck

Eating red hot scallops

One fell down his trouser leg

And burnt him on his ankle

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rAitchMan
8 weeks ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

There once was a nun from Madras

Who rolled with a monk in the grass

She lifted his smock

And tickled his cock

Till it foamed like a bottle of Bass

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rAitchMan
8 weeks ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

There was a young woman from Bude

Who went for a swim in a lake

A bloke in a punt

Shoved his pole up her nose

And said "you can't swim here, it's private"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
8 weeks ago

Leeds

There once was a man on fab.

Who thought he’d get a quick shag.

After no replies.

He had tears in his eyes.

And thinks all woman are slags.

The mr

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *olo180Man
8 weeks ago

Greater London

Mary had a little lamb

She tied it to a pylon

10000 volts went up it’s arse

And turned its wool to nylon

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ockdownlickdownMan
8 weeks ago

paisley

[Removed by poster at 13/04/26 18:38:55]

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ockdownlickdownMan
8 weeks ago

paisley

"A Bobby from Nottingham Junction

Whose organ had long ceased to function

Deceived his good wife

For the rest of her life

With the aid of a constable's truncheon.

Is this it? Courtesy of A3243 on Fabguys "

Yes, many thanks!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iking_on_a_bikeMan
8 weeks ago

marlborough

Most guys on fab seem quite alone,

Always sending dick picks from their phone,

With a fab and a wink,

And a quick little think,

They’d prefer to pull their own bone.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *alm_one4Man
8 weeks ago

Close To The Edge, Down Bi The River

Roses are Red

I think your crackers

Bend over the table

And I’ll empty me knackers

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iking_on_a_bikeMan
8 weeks ago

marlborough

There are sad little twats on fabswingers,

Thinking it’s fun to call all women mingers,

If they don’t get their way,

Or a roll in the hay,

They must be Incel right-wingers.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *regen1000Man
8 weeks ago

Erith

There once was a bloke on Fab

Whose cock was obscured by his flab.

He went to the gym

To try and get thin

But he gave up and got a kebab.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *nnandElleCouple
8 weeks ago

Brackley

Another one of my own:

A cheeky young fella named Quentin,

Took a girl to the flat he was rentin'

He gave one solid push,

Of his knob, near her bush,

And before they both knew it, it went in.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *dstefiMan
8 weeks ago

Solihull

Have to add my own original:

O limerick, thou noblest of verse,

With the merest five lines 'tis a curse

That your hum'rous levity

Should be hobbled by brevity,

But poor haikus come off even worse.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iaisonseekerMan
8 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Have to add my own original:

O limerick, thou noblest of verse,

With the merest five lines 'tis a curse

That your hum'rous levity

Should be hobbled by brevity,

But poor haikus come off even worse."

Self-referential - I like it!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hynot xCouple
8 weeks ago

Woop Woop

"There was a young lady from Bude

Who liked to sunbathe in the nude

…….. anyone feel free to continue?"

There was a young lady from Bude,

Who enjoyed to sunbathe in the nude,

When a guy ran up quick,

And offered his dick,

She refused saying "Don't be so crude"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *morousCouple8Couple
8 weeks ago

Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 13/04/26 21:20:56]

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *morousCouple8Couple
8 weeks ago

Cumbria

There once was a man from Dundee,

Who had a cock right down to his knee.

When ever he whipped it out,

The ladies would scream and shout,

and say you are not using that thing on me.

Mr.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hynot xCouple
8 weeks ago

Woop Woop

There once was a girl from Australia,

Who tattooed her ass with a Dahlia,

But while tuppence a smell,

Went very well,

Thruppence a lick was a failure.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *wcoMan
8 weeks ago

West Midlands

Joe signed up on Fab as a straight

And soon found a peculiar mate

He suffered a shock

When she showed him her cock

But he still ended up as her date

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Wow been a good day. Got enough for a book. Britain really has got talent. Keep them coming guys, been pissing myself at some if them 🤣🤪

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hamallamadingdongMan
8 weeks ago

London

There once was a man called Bob

He was really proud of his knob

He showed it to a woman called Jill

Just to give her a thrill

She gave it a lick and a slob.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *nnandElleCouple
8 weeks ago

Brackley

"Have to add my own original:

O limerick, thou noblest of verse,

With the merest five lines 'tis a curse

That your hum'rous levity

Should be hobbled by brevity,

But poor haikus come off even worse."

Very well played!!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

A pissed up guy in Nantucket.

Saw a sheep and thought I'd sure like to fuck it.

All day he'd been drinking.

And then he got thinking.

Could someone please pass me a bucket.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Einstein, Hawkin and Babbage.

We're tasked to experiment on a cabbage.

Einstein found numbers prime.

Hawkin discoverd warped time.

And Babbage said "Guys! It's just a fuckin cabbage"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *adger BrocMan
8 weeks ago

North Cork

There was a Fab farmer from Shrule.

Unhappy with the price of fuel.

He blocked up the streets.

Missed out on some meets.

Now he's feeling a terrible fool.

⛽️🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜⛽️

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *lemFandango88Woman
8 weeks ago

Thirsk

There once was a man called Toast.

His voice was of much to boast.

Along came Clem fandango.

With glasses the shade of mango.

And "Can you hear me?" Echoed like a ghost.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Hi Clem. I see you more of a Portia?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ardy500ukMan
8 weeks ago

Wycombe

Whilst Titian mixed his rose madder

His model posed nude on a ladder

This position to Titian suggested coition

So he nipped up the ladder and had her

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *igsandyMan
8 weeks ago

ardrossan

Her tight gorgeous body

Her firm perfect tit's

She's walking round naked, giving me fits

Driving me wild, I can hardly cope

I really should throw away this damp telescope.......

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
8 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

Out of the blue, come bookmarking hits

Why do they need, all of these shits

Simples follow a thread

Use the brain in your head

Just dumping bookmarks is deffo the pits

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

I once fucked a girl in a cab.

So fat, I felt like Captain Ahab.

As I went down to lick her.

Now I'm not a nit picker.

But her cunt smelt like a donner kebab

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
8 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

Limericks are best when they’re funny

A good laugh is right on the money.

It’s good when they’re rude

No need to be crude

So give it your best shot dear bunny.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

There once was a guy from Porthmadog.

Who had an affair with a haddock.

The wife didn't mind.

And in the end I did find.

That she'd been shagging a horse in the paddock.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iking_on_a_bikeMan
8 weeks ago

marlborough

There once was a lad with no winky.

He’d lost it when too much to drink, he

Put it in a machine,

Ripped his manhood off clean.

Thats the last time he did something kinky

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *aszloandnadjaCouple
8 weeks ago

York

A randy young man from Bombay

Fashioned a fanny from clay

The heat from his prick

Turned the clay into brick

And chafed all his foreskin away

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ernowswingerMan
8 weeks ago

Redruth

This is a crack that never heals

The more you rub it

The better it feels

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *onin25Man
8 weeks ago

Durham

There once was a man named Ronin,

Whose hobbies were oddly well-known in

A fondness, for he

Liked t-shirts soaked in the sea,

Which left him grinning while sticking his bone in.

💦👕

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Once dated a woman with no teeth.

Quite strangely her first name was Keith.

We went straight to bed.

And the back of her head.

Looked just like a map of Broadheath.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rAitchMan
8 weeks ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

There once was a young woman called Grace

Whose corsets would no longer lace

Her mother, Nellie

Said "there's more in your belly

Than ever went in through your face"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iaisonseekerMan
8 weeks ago

Liverpool

On a website known as Fabswingers

A question determinedly lingers:

Shaved, trimmed or bush?

It gets asked so much

It's hard to believe anyone ever gets fingered!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oxy-RedWoman
8 weeks ago

pink panther territory

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a duck

She put them on the window sill

To see if they would fuck

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Foxy Red had a lamb and a duck.

She wondered if they wanted to fuck.

She waited for years.

Had to hold back the tears.

When in the oven went the lamb and the duck.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oxy-RedWoman
8 weeks ago

pink panther territory

"Foxy Red had a lamb and a duck.

She wondered if they wanted to fuck.

She waited for years.

Had to hold back the tears.

When in the oven went the lamb and the duck."

😆😆,love it

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *riginal_FlirtWoman
8 weeks ago

Antrim

There was a young man from Nantucket

His cock was so long he could suck it

He said with a grin, wiping cum from his chin

If my face was a fanny I'd fuck it!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *haved man40Man
8 weeks ago

Stamford

I once had a girl friend called Angie.

Who thought I was rather Randy.

My name was Pete

So she called me sweet

And we didn't tell Andy Pandy

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *riginal_FlirtWoman
8 weeks ago

Antrim

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a bear

I often saw her little lamb

But never saw her bare

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *umfun24Man
8 weeks ago

wilmslow

"There was a young man from Nantucket

His cock was so long he could suck it

He said with a grin, wiping cum from his chin

If my face was a fanny I'd fuck it!"

I told you that in confidence and asked you not to tell anyone 🤣

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *lackspiceMan
8 weeks ago

There was a young woman named White,

Found herself in a terrible plight,

A mucker named Tucker

He struck her, the f*cker

The bugger the bastard the shite!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
8 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

Not a limerick, but!

Mary had a little lamb

She kept it in a bucket

Every time the lamb got out

The sheepdog tried to catch it.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
8 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a pussy

I often saw her little lamb

But never saw her pussy.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *partharmonyCouple
8 weeks ago

Tonbridge

There once was a girl from Australia,

Who tattoo'd her ass with a Dahlia,

While tuppence a smell

Went very well,

Thruppence a lick was a failure.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *partharmonyCouple
8 weeks ago

Tonbridge

I just came up with this...

A swinger who loved sucking dicks

Once managed a hundred and six

They all had a race

To shoot over her face

You can see it on page one of hot pics

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

You're on a roll _partharmony. Keep em cumming x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *haved man40Man
8 weeks ago

Stamford

Pussy,pussy,pussy

Yum,yum,yum

In out, in out

Cum,cum,cum

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

There was a young guy from Ghent

Whose cock was at right angles bent

To save himself trouble

He stuffed it in double

And instead of cumming he went.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
8 weeks ago

Home

I live in Limerick beat that 😁🟢⚪

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

There once was a Fabber from Limerick.

With rhyming words he was ever so quick.

However one fatal day

He totally lost his way

And now he totally can't think of rhyming words to save his life.

Ooops....it's catching

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

I once had a wank in the sea.

Forgot about it for 2 months or 3.

Then from the waves it walked out.

Half human half trout.

And fuck did it look just like me.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *DAndieTV/TS
8 weeks ago

Kingussie

There was a man from Dundee

Who came home as d*unk as could be

He wound up the clock with the end of his cock

And buggered his wife with the key

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arkylad1981Man
8 weeks ago

Havant

She asked me to kiss her, I had to assist her, one thing lead to another now I'm deep in her shitter!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *mooth tongue 4uMan
8 weeks ago

edinburgh

There once was a lady from Morton

Who had a big tit and a short one

To make up this loss

Shed a big hairy doss

And a fart like a 500 Norton

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *haved man40Man
8 weeks ago

Stamford

Old mother hubbard

Went to her cupboard

To fetch poor rover a bone

As she bent over

Up popped rover

And gave her a bone of his own.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *illabongboy1971Man
8 weeks ago

Peebles area

There once was a man from Madras

Whose balls were made out of brass

And in stormy weather

They'd both clang together

Causing sparks to fly out of his arse

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *erry 58Man
8 weeks ago

doncaster

I once knew a lass call Mary ,

Who’s fanny was big and hairy ,

I fucked her standing , fucked her lying , if she had wings I would have fucked her flying ,

But now she’s dead and forgotten ,

So I dug her up and fucked get rotten

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

There once was a man from Southwick.

Who had an exceptionally large, girthy dick.

Whoever he was shaggin.

Started invariably naggin.

And would have to beat him off with a stick.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

"There once was a man from Madras

Whose balls were made out of brass

And in stormy weather

They'd both clang together

Causing sparks to fly out of his arse"

" 🤣🤣🤣 brilliant "

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *tannersMan
8 weeks ago

stanley

"There was an old lady from Leeds

Who swallowed a packet of seeds

In less than an hour her tits were a flower

And her fanny was covered in w*eds"

😂😂😂😂

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *tannersMan
8 weeks ago

stanley

There once was a runner named Dwight Who could speed even faster than light. He set out one day In a relative way And returned on the previous night.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *tannersMan
8 weeks ago

stanley

So Stanners he lives in the sticks And he loved to compose limericks But he failed at his sport They were always too short...

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *tannersMan
8 weeks ago

stanley

There once was a woman named Jill, who swallowed an exploding pill.

They found her vagina, in North Carolina

And her tits in a tree in Brazil

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Manchester

I once had sex with a minor.

We hooked up in a cheap roadside diner.

And while we were frigging.

He could only talk about digging.

Ooops, must really learn how to spell miner.

(He was 36 btw)

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *dible_KinkCouple
8 weeks ago

Aberdeen

There was a young witch called Mabel,

who's periods were tremendously stable,

with the aid of a spoon,

by the light of the moon,

she drank herself under the table.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
8 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

There was a young lady called Mabel

Who had grand cock milking table

Many guys through her door

Much more than a score

The income she made was a fable

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
8 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

Poor young Billy had a four foot willy

And he showed to the ladies next door

They thought it was a snake

So they hit it with a rake

And now it’s only one foot four.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iaisonseekerMan
8 weeks ago

Liverpool

Whenever I visit Fabswingers

I'm often confronted by mingers

But not in the Forum

There's always a quorum

Of bona fide ring-a-ding dingers!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *utterfly64Woman
8 weeks ago

Raynes Park

"So Stanners he lives in the sticks And he loved to compose limericks But he failed at his sport They were always too short..."

He has to get out of this fix

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
8 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

Whenever I visit fabswingers

I am often confronted with mingers

Not just on this forum

There’s always a moron

I’m tempted to stick up two fingers!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oxy-RedWoman
8 weeks ago

pink panther territory

You put your willy in

You pull your willy out

And then you shake it all about

She gets on her knees

And you moan yes please

And that's what it's all about

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
8 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

Oh Hokey Cokey y,

We all love a good pokey,

Put you right tit out

Your left tit out

Friction can make it smokey.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *adboys2Couple (MM)
7 weeks ago

North

There was a young man surnamed Carter

Who played with his young ladies garter

She said, I don’t mind

But higher you’ll find

The place of my pisser and farter!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rHarding RMan
7 weeks ago

East Midlands

"There was an old lady from Leeds

Who swallowed a packet of seeds

In less than an hour her tits were a flower

And her fanny was covered in w*eds"

Classic..😆

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
5 weeks ago

Manchester

There once was a guy from Madras.

TV remote got stuck right up his ass.

Now he's been boasing for weeks.

When he clenches his cheeks.

He can flick through the channels en masse.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ulldog_71Man
5 weeks ago

Sedgefield

There was a hot lady from Devon,

Who's body was absolute heaven,

With creme eggs galore,

We're left wanting mare,

And I'd give her an inch or seven.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
5 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"Whenever I visit fabswingers

I am often confronted with mingers

Not just on this forum

There’s always a moron

I’m tempted to stick up two fingers!

An old bloke called George once said Mingers

The insult, like a bad smell, still lingers

He now stands no chance

In his maroon underpants

He needs more thought about voicing his zingers!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
5 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"Whenever I visit Fabswingers

I'm often confronted by mingers

But not in the Forum

There's always a quorum

Of bona fide ring-a-ding dingers!"

A bloke known as Li-ai-son-seeker

Was known as an internet peeker

He liked what he saw

And hung round for more

Till he became ,a world champ, tit tweeker!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *lirtyFilthWoman
5 weeks ago

Troublesville

"There was a hot lady from Devon,

Who's body was absolute heaven,

With creme eggs galore,

We're left wanting mare,

And I'd give her an inch or seven."

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
5 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

The thing about mingers you know

They crop up where ever you go

When they get upset

It’s a pretty fair bet

They know what l mean in this flow.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iaisonseekerMan
5 weeks ago

Liverpool

If Fab was restricted to women

It would cause major indecision

Who'd tribute the hotwives

- Who've devoted their whole lives -

To cuckoldry as their main mission?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ohnSwingsSurreyMan
5 weeks ago

Horley

A mathematician named Hall

Had a hexahedronical ball

The cube of its weight

Times the square root

Plus 8

Was 4/5th’s of 3/8th’s

Of f**k all

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iaisonseekerMan
5 weeks ago

Liverpool

Therw was a young chap in the forum

Whose cock was spectacularly awesome

You could see it from space

So imagine his face

When the women told him that it bored them

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
5 weeks ago

Manchester

There once was a bloke from Bombay.

One day his own balls he did weigh.

The scales went and broke.

And they started to smoke.

So he had to buy a new one next pay day.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ld Stella HeelsTV/TS
5 weeks ago

ross on wye

There was a man in Dundee

He went into the woods for a pee

Slipped in his hurry

His sporran got mucky

And shite all up to his knee

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hild_of_60Man
5 weeks ago

Preston

There was a young lady called Heather.

Who had a vagina like leather.

She attracted the boys.

By making a noise.

By slapping the edges together.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *tms1xCouple
5 weeks ago

Chelmsford

There was a young man from swaffam

Who took out his balls to wash em

His mother said “Jack”

If you don’t put them back

I’ll tread on the fuckers and squash em

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ld Stella HeelsTV/TS
5 weeks ago

ross on wye

There was an old woman from Crewe who got stuck in the outside loo.

She pushed and she shoved,

And from heaven above,

The doors opened whilst having a poo

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arlos 0511 OP Man
5 weeks ago

Manchester

"There was an old woman from Crewe who got stuck in the outside loo.

She pushed and she shoved,

And from heaven above,

The doors opened whilst having a poo

A gorgeous Tgirl called Stella.

Met a well hung athletic fit fella.

She had a bit of a shock.

When he put on her frock.

And said hi there...my name's Nigella "

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
3 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

A lovely old lady from Dover

Wanted to find a good lover

She tried them, all sizes

From Kent to Devizes

Best of them all was her brother.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
3 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

There once was a girl from Caerphilly

Who loved playing and teasing a willy

So many to choose

Nothing to lose

But willies do shrink when it’s chilly

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *redBlogs123Man
3 weeks ago

here and there

There once was a man from Leeds

A fan of his wife he let's breed

Big cream pies

and a glint in her eyes

His job is to wipe jizz from her knees.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
3 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

There was and old geezer from Kent

Who loved having sex in a tent

Camping is fun

When you find the right one

And you both end up being content

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *AJMLKTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Burley

A fat hairy guy on Fab,

decided to learn how to dab.

To impress a fat chick

to ride on his dick

And wobble her boobies and flab.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
3 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

You can tell such a lot from a rhyme

How people might feel at that time

Some rhymers are crude

Other less rude

But it’s better than having a whine.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
3 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

You can spot a good rhymer from go

Balancing syllables makes it flow

just getting it right

Might take you all night

But getting it wrong is a blow.

That’s something for sure that l know!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *khhMan
3 weeks ago

Toronto

Hello Limerick 😉😉

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge1949Man
3 weeks ago

Broadway(george)

As we come to the end, of the limerick thread

We’ll miss it no doubt, it gets in yer head

Enough is enough, some folks might say

Save all your rhymes, they’ll keep for today

So night night dear rhymers it’s soon time for bed

The thought of yet more, just fills us with dread.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In a galaxy far far away

There once was a man from Nantucket

His cock was so long he could suck it

He said with a grin

Wiping spunk off his chin

If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it

(closed, thread got too big)

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