FabSwingers.com forum: To Swing Or Not To Swing

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Going through abit of a crisis at the moment Julie isnt sure if she wants to continue with swinging, much to my disappointment.

Do other couples ever reach this point?

Genuine advice greatly appreciated. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not a couple but I think we all feel like that at times... so maybe a wee break for a while and come back if you both feel ready again.

wishing you well whatever happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happened to me mate, but the reasons where because of abusive emails directed at my wife and time wasters

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Many thanks, think she feels she has put weight on, post xmas and feels unattractive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that Mally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that will deffo be it then, reassurance from yourself and other swingers will boost her self esteem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can honestly say if either of us decided to stop we would delete our profile without a second thought.

I would ask why hubby wanted to stop and we would take a break while we talked and talked about what it was that had made him think it was no longer for him.

I would not want him to try to convince me to carry on doing something I didnt want to do nor would I try to make him do something just cos I wanted to.

I hope it all works out for you whatever you as a couple decide to do.

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps a break and a little 'you' time, just be there for each other only.

Maybe after that you will both be in agreeance to what you want as a couple, because reading between the lines it seems like your wife wants to stop and you don't at the moment.... no offence meant just trying to clarify it a little. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that Mally."

Its OK, just some people on these sites are out to abuse people and nothing more, unfortunately cause my wife is a BBW, it seemed as though it was enough to target her, reported all those concerned but as you'd expect, they came back under a new profile and carried on, plus, guys saying they would turn up and dont (no wonder we have a bad name), so she has thrown in the towel now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many thanks, think she feels she has put weight on, post xmas and feels unattractive."

Hey..big hugs from us, you're still gorgeous

it's called maturity, rather like a fine wine or malt whisky. This is the type of inflation a lot of guys love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not a couple but I think we all feel like that at times... so maybe a wee break for a while and come back if you both feel ready again.

wishing you well whatever happens "

Agree - take a break without pressure from you to get back into the scene and see what happens.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thankyou for the invaluable advice. x

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I wont offer advice

I am a single lady and dont ever wish to be part of a swinging cpl so I really think my opinion wont matter

I think she look fabtastical though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are all human and as such are at the whim of human emotions and desires, these can ebb and flow, this is perfectly natural.

Some experience this regularly, some dont, again totally natural.

Some are 100% into the swing scene 24/7 some dabble once or twice a year, again natural.

Some need time away from it to figure out what they want, some will never return, some will be back by the weekend.

Some have to quit completely ( delete profile never return )

Some can suspend profile, pop in occassionally and thats enough.

Some dont meet but still enjoy the fun/social side of chatrooms, forums etc.

Some have one partner who will still meet but the other does not wish to, either for now or possibly ever again.

At the end of the day do whatever suits you BOTH, communication is essential, the only really bad outcome of this is where one partner doesn't listen and tries to force the other to do something they don't want to do, this never works in the long run.

Listen to her, talk to her, do what suits you both.

Best of luck whatever you choose to do.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Many thanks, think she feels she has put weight on, post xmas and feels unattractive."

Hi. I know if either of us didn't want to play anymore we would tell each other like she has done.

Has she said she will play again once she feels sexy again? If she hasn't, maybe she is letting you down gently.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After a few drinks she mentions swinging and how much fun it is, but when sober she isnt interested, i guess i have just found my answer lol

I guess if you need alcohol to do it then maybe you shouldnt do it, if that makes sense. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have hit the nail on the head there, take a break for an agreed period and then see how you feel.

Good luck and take care.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Many thanks to you all. Best wishes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think she looks great n im a straight female! maybe a wee break and a wee heart to heart chat and decide from there!! good luck whatever u do!! xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

We would both take a break and see how we felt

If we decided to stop completely I could live without the swinging as we have each other but what I would find really hard would be missing the socials,parties and all the friends we have made

To the OP if you stopped would you still stay in contact with the friends you have made or break away completely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we decided to stop completely I could live without the swinging as we have each other but what I would find really hard would be missing the socials,parties and all the friends we have made

Hence the fact we are still on here but only to keep in touch with you guys and attend the socials, swinging as a couple is such a totally different thing to being a swingle - it has to be something you are both TOTALLY 110% happy with or else those tiny little twinges would surely soon grow.........

To the OP, talk talk and talk some more, and if it truely is the fact that your lady feels she is not quite as attractive as she felt before, then you are I'm sure more than capable of proving to her just how sexy, hot and beautiful you still find her.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, Raz x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I would like to stay in contact with friends we have made on here, not sure about Julie though.

Its almost like she feels ashamed of the fact that she has dabbled in swinging, full stop. She enjoyed it initially.

Thanks for all the genuine advice, very good of you all. x

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"I would like to stay in contact with friends we have made on here, not sure about Julie though.

Its almost like she feels ashamed of the fact that she has dabbled in swinging, full stop. She enjoyed it initially.

Thanks for all the genuine advice, very good of you all. x"

We are not meeting at the moment because of my exhaustion....... Jason respects that.

However, I've come back on here to promote a couple of socials and to be a pain in the arse....... (sorry boys!)

and we will probably be back, full on so to speak after our Hols.

My advice........ hide your profile, don't talk about it for a month, reassure her that she is the only one for you and let her lose weight or start to feel sexy again...... at her pace.

If it's meant to be, it will be and you can just unhide your profile. If not, at least you've tried it and come out the other end. No shame in that.... it's called diversity and having a bloody good time and you can delete your profile at that point.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Many thanks xx

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