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Is it rude to send a message?

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By *ew2bury OP   Man
8 weeks ago

Newbury

Yeah, there is a message button. Yes, there's filters. But if they haven't asked for a message from me, or suggested one may be welcome, am I being rude in spamming one through?

Just because someone has a teacup in front of them doesn't mean they want tea from my tea pot

Consent given to reply. ☕ /s

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By *olo180Man
8 weeks ago

Greater London

Do you think sending a message to a profile you are interested in is spamming / rude?

How would you know they want a message from you if they don’t message you first (also spamming) ?

I’m confused 😵‍💫

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By *uckMe12FreeMan
8 weeks ago

(User no longer on site)

I'll have a cuppa tea please.

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By *hinstrapMan
8 weeks ago

sheffield

With it being an open forum and profiles have filters. Someone has got to make a first move.

Nothing wrong with a friendly . Yet could be cheeky. Maybe a bit risque message. Unless we'd all just be sat here playing with ourselves.

...ps.s I'll have tea . 2 plz

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By *legantEnigmaWoman
8 weeks ago

South of the Watford Gap

Oh heck, this feels like it could get a little philosophical. Maybe I'll hang fire on answering the 'deepest thread' thread for a bit.

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By *issmorganWoman
8 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

If you've read their profile and what they're looking for and you feel you may be a good fit, I don't think so.

Otherwise nobody would ever message first.

I think if you really know you're not what someone wants, that could be seen as spamming them.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
8 weeks ago

Winchester

I think Fab should add some more filters to make it even more difficult for us men to send a message… you know, heritage/ income and length and Girth.. then for us who don’t know better have a filter for Hotwifes .. some of us are not meant to reach out and say hi even though we seem to have exactly what other are looking for.

Rant over and apologies

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By *ad NannaWoman
8 weeks ago

East London

2 sugars please

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By *r and Mrs MounCouple
8 weeks ago

Sheffield


"Do you think sending a message to a profile you are interested in is spamming / rude?

How would you know they want a message from you if they don’t message you first (also spamming) ?

I’m confused 😵‍💫 "

No not at all if you message and don’t get a response there is probably no interest surely? That’s how we see it anyway xx

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By *eroLondonMan
8 weeks ago

Mayfair

There's a world of difference between a solicited message and an unsolicited one. These things are often open to interpretation.

If a profile clearly intimates that they are looking to meet/socialise then I see no problem in sending a message as long as 'you' (mostly) fit their criteria, preferences and interests (i.e. you've read their profile). It's a solicited message because there's a reasonable expectation that someone will make the first move.

If the profile clearly states they are only here to engage in the forums or cam rooms etc then I suspect it's a tad rude to message them (it's unsolicited).


"Just because someone has a teacup in front of them doesn't mean they want tea from my tea pot."

Not necessarily. They (perhaps) want the opportunity for you to offer them some tea...but still have option to respectfully accept or decline your offer.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
8 weeks ago

London

Not all messages are equal.

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By *kibirdWoman
8 weeks ago

Gillingham ( Dorset, not Kent)

Just a reminder for those that don’t use Reddit.

The use of “ /s ” at the end of a post is shorthand for “I’m being sarcastic” on that site. I’d like to think OP is using it in this context here too

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By *ontyboi76Man
8 weeks ago

Pontypridd

Find the permission to reply funny. One a forum designed for conversation. If you are asking yourself should you send, you shouldn't

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By *ew2bury OP   Man
8 weeks ago

Newbury


"Just a reminder for those that don’t use Reddit.

The use of “ /s ” at the end of a post is shorthand for “I’m being sarcastic” on that site. I’d like to think OP is using it in this context here too "
thx, my bad ! Also, in the UK sarcasm should be assumed 😂

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By *hrough the looking gla55Couple
8 weeks ago

Epsom

Honestly I find it a tad exhausting when getting messages from guys with their list of damns.

Herbal tea only please no sugars needed

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago


"Yeah, there is a message button. Yes, there's filters. But if they haven't asked for a message from me, or suggested one may be welcome, am I being rude in spamming one through?

Just because someone has a teacup in front of them doesn't mean they want tea from my tea pot

Consent given to reply. ☕ /s"

But how could they give you consent? Surely by your reasoning they would need your consent for that. And how would you give that consent?

This reminds me of that idiot who suggested you shouldn’t change a babies n@ppy (who would have thought that was a banned word) without first getting their consent.

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By *a LunaWoman
8 weeks ago

Wales

Send the message. If they don’t want to receive any messages there are plenty of filters that THEY should use to prevent that.

They can always also say “thanks, no thanks. Or just block you.

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By *earditallWoman
8 weeks ago

Lancaster

No ive started conversations off the back of messages about threads if its about the thread,but tend to ignore the creepy ones from lurkers.

That if you mean the reply privately message function.

If its just in general no how do people ever talk if noone sent a message.

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By *atinaChica54Woman
8 weeks ago

Marlborough

I've always lived by the old motto "if you don't ask, you don't get". I mean, what's the worst that could happen?🤷🏽‍♀️

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By *cottish guy 555Man
8 weeks ago

London


"I've always lived by the old motto "if you don't ask, you don't get". I mean, what's the worst that could happen?🤷🏽‍♀️"

You could find out that you are out of the age range of a lovely lady that you'd like to say hello to.

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By *ray_BTWMan
8 weeks ago

Worcester


"Yeah, there is a message button. Yes, there's filters. But if they haven't asked for a message from me, or suggested one may be welcome, am I being rude in spamming one through?

Just because someone has a teacup in front of them doesn't mean they want tea from my tea pot

Consent given to reply. ☕ /s"

So how does one communicate in the first place.....your post doesn't make sense ???

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
8 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

It's not rude to send an appropriate message to a profile that interests you and allows you to.

It is rude to assume that you're entitled to their time and energy for a response 💜

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