FabSwingers.com forum: Exercise advice needed

By *oydyke OP TV/TS
41 weeks ago

Hampshire (they/them)

Okay this is so embarrassing even asking but how tf do I find the motivation to exercise?

A bit of context, I’m fat, very fat, and I’m fine being fat but I’d like to be a little less fat because I literally strained a muscle moving my fat in bed. How embarrassing.

I have issues relating to insulin that make it difficult for me to shift weight. I also have issues related to eating which are being sorted through therapy.

I know I should exercise and I want to exercise but I just can’t. Somethings holding me back. I have no motivation. Quite literally, taking the first step is too hard.

Even just something as simple as walking I struggle with. I mean, obviously I walk places, but going out for a walk and not having a reward at the end is too much for my brain to process.

Pls, how is everyone, especially my fellow fatties, getting motivated to exercise?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
41 weeks ago

East Sussex

How about setting up a reward system. Set a realistic goal of either steps taken or distance walked and once achieved you can reward yourself in some way. It could be anything (not mars bars obviously

) from treating yourself to an evening watching your favourite shows to treating yourself to a book, trip to the cinema etc.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
41 weeks ago

East Sussex

Do you have a friend who would walk with you? I find I don't notice how far I've walked if I'm chatting

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By *og and MuseCouple
41 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Great post, do you know your issues are not really much different to most people. Most people want to do the things that give short-term benefit- eating too much tasty food, wanking, spending etc & want to avoid the things that bring long-term benefits, eating healthily , exercising, saving/ investing etc.

Motivation won’t change that, you can’t trick your own brain with rewards and gimmicks, not for long anyway

You just have to decide what kind of person you want to be.

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By *oydyke OP TV/TS
41 weeks ago

Hampshire (they/them)

"Great post, do you know your issues are not really much different to most people. Most people want to do the things that give short-term benefit- eating too much tasty food, wanking, spending etc & want to avoid the things that bring long-term benefits, eating healthily , exercising, saving/ investing etc.

Motivation won’t change that, you can’t trick your own brain with rewards and gimmicks, not for long anyway

You just have to decide what kind of person you want to be."

This is the thing, I can literally visualise the person I want to be, but the space between here and there is too difficult for my brain to process and that’s what’s bothering me I think. Like I can eat healthy foods which I do, I have a very balanced diet but then comes the bad eating again. It’s like my brain is self sabotaging me

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
41 weeks ago

North Welsh Borders

Set yourself little goals....Realistic goals, start by making a plan.... find some support whether it be through your GP or online. There is a walking group in my area, have a look on FB at what is out there.

Start a blog to track your achievements

Don't be overwhelmed.... it's great that you have taken the first steps.....Build on it

Good luck!! And Keep us posted

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By *uke_silverMan
40 weeks ago

London

Pls, how is everyone, especially my fellow fatties, getting motivated to exercise?

Can I answer as a frame challenge?

Firstly, I completely agree with you - motivation is hard for things you don't like doing (you can start to like doing something you don't like at first, but that doesn't help to start). This applies to getting motivated to exercise too.

However, the nice thing is your goal is actually exercising (not getting motivated to exercise) and a much easier way to achieve that is habit forming / routine / discipline whatever you want to call it.

How it applies will vary based on your situation but the basic idea is to make exercise part of something else you have to do - so for example, walk/jog/bike to work/school instead of driving/taking public transport. Or carry a change of clothes to ensure you have to shower in the gym instead of at home.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
40 weeks ago

near Putney Heath

"Okay this is so embarrassing even asking but how tf do I find the motivation to exercise?

A bit of context, I’m fat, very fat, and I’m fine being fat but I’d like to be a little less fat because I literally strained a muscle moving my fat in bed. How embarrassing.

I have issues relating to insulin that make it difficult for me to shift weight. I also have issues related to eating which are being sorted through therapy.

I know I should exercise and I want to exercise but I just can’t. Somethings holding me back. I have no motivation. Quite literally, taking the first step is too hard.

Even just something as simple as walking I struggle with. I mean, obviously I walk places, but going out for a walk and not having a reward at the end is too much for my brain to process.

Pls, how is everyone, especially my fellow fatties, getting motivated to exercise?"

Set a very small goal and then try to do it every day or every week.

Straining a muscle in bed is not good..fat/obese ( me)... middle-aged ( me) elderly ( my mother)

There are exercises you can do in bed or on a chair so you don't have to go anywhere. Stretches will help also...says the stiff middle-aged person...who sleeps with pillows between her knees cause hip hurts.

You can get small weights or resistance bands and then go from there.

The gym fit people (not me) say you can't out-train a bad diet so...that's why so many are on weight loss drugs.

I have disordered eating, technically not an eating disorder so I have to make the changes on my own.

Building muscle and eating more protein has helped. The protein fills me up and I can't fit anymore into my body without feeling sick and uncomfortable...and I hate feeling sick and uncomfortable more than I hate being fat. Lifting weights to build muscle has made me drop dress sizes, although I'm technically the same weight.

Don't push too hard. I had 18 months of intensive therapy twice a week and I was pretty much useless after each session.

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By *iablo soloWoman
40 weeks ago

dub

Check out bodyslims on Facebook. U can read testimonies from people who have done it. It really does work, I'm not one to ever push any of those weight loss companies on people, this is calorie intake control an walking. But more importantly it gives u a talk and inspiration daily.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

"Check out bodyslims on Facebook. U can read testimonies from people who have done it. It really does work, I'm not one to ever push any of those weight loss companies on people, this is calorie intake control a walking. But more importantly it gives u a talk and inspiration daily."

Start with walking

Don’t make overly ambitious targets

It doesn’t happen over night

Small gains become long term benefits xx

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By *vaRoseWoman
40 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

I started with Midnights plank challenge almost a year ago now. I’m still doing them…. I still haven’t attempted some of them either, they’re fucking impossible 🤣

Every day I walk a path that includes a fucking long ass set of stairs up a hill. Yeah it’s hard, no I don’t enjoy it, I’d much rather not do it. But I have a goal now to get to the top without being breathless and that keeps me motivated.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

"I started with Midnights plank challenge almost a year ago now. I’m still doing them…. I still haven’t attempted some of them either, they’re fucking impossible 🤣

No one has ever come out the gym or after exercising thinking they feel worse x

Small gains always x

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
40 weeks ago

near Putney Heath

"I started with Midnights plank challenge almost a year ago now. I’m still doing them…. I still haven’t attempted some of them either, they’re fucking impossible 🤣

No one has ever come out the gym or after exercising thinking they feel worse x

Small gains always x"

Ahem I can feel worse after the gym because...sensory overload in autism.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Sometimes splitting up your exercise into small chunks across the day helps. You don't have to hit your steps target in one go.

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By *vaRoseWoman
40 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

"I started with Midnights plank challenge almost a year ago now. I’m still doing them…. I still haven’t attempted some of them either, they’re fucking impossible 🤣

No one has ever come out the gym or after exercising thinking they feel worse x

Small gains always x"

Oh I definitely have 🤣, but I’m still doing it.

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By *orny IrishMan
40 weeks ago

North Wiltshire

I think the key is not focusing on the entire journey you want to complete. As others have said break it down to small bits.

Don't stress about the gym. If you have a smart phone or watch set your daily step count to something a little higher then your normal average. Do that for a week or 2 then increase it. If you live within waling distances of your local shop walk to get your milk or bread rather than drive. Try little changes as you sort out the bigger things. If you can work with you GP etc on the diet and try to manage that but stay healthy. As it gets to a better place you can increase the walking by distance. And then maybe after you find that comfortable look at other options maybe a bike ride. But the biggest thing is small achievable goals so you get a sense of achievement and the more you get those little wins the closer you are to the ultimate goal.

Best of luck. You can do this believe in yourself. We all struggle with that initial start on the road to improved fitness. No matter your start location everyone struggles to get motivated until you tastes those first few wins.

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By *ellhungvweMan
40 weeks ago

Cheltenham

Motivation won’t change that, you can’t trick your own brain with rewards and gimmicks, not for long anyway

You just have to decide what kind of person you want to be.

“You just have to decide what kind of person you want to be.” is the key.

You need to make getting up and walking a habit. One of the most effective ways of embedding a habit is to make it part of your identity. If you consistently start to tell yourself that “People like me go for a walk everyday” then you will find your brain will put pressure on you to actually start walking. You will begin to enjoy it (eventually).

The other thing about habits is that they have a large environmental component. If you are in the habit of eating crap then a very easy solution is just not to have that stuff in the house. Don’t buy it. Buy something else and you will find you start to eat that.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
40 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

Hi Kerouac,

I've read all the posts and the best advice is from Tog n Muse who say

"Decide who you want to be"

and from Milisia Amori who says

" begin with small goals"

There are millions of people out there who thought they'd never lose weight or gain confidence but they've done it and they are no different to you.

To their advice i'd add two things.....

1. Don't go on a diet yet BUT do ditch non food products e.g. junk food and switch to REAL FOOD. ( if it grows or once lived and breathed it's real food. If a human has processed it in some way it's not real food e.g. white bread or bad pizza are not real food. Nor is candy floss ) You'll quickly be suprised how your mood and motivation changes you will feel less sluggish.

2. NOW - right this minute - make a costs and benefits list e.g. How being this size, weight , sedentary and lacking in motivation benefits your life / and on the other column - what it costs you e.g. what 'bad' things it brings to your life, prevents etc.......

Then make a decision if you still want to be in this position next month, next Christmas , next August ???

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU who can do anything about it.

The motivation is ....... this time next year.

Now do it.

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