FabSwingers.com forum: How comfortable are you saying "no"??

By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
37 weeks ago

North West

Do you find it easy to say no? I don't mean just on here, but, in general really and in any situation you find uncomfortable? Or do you struggle saying no?

Me personally I used to struggle, soft touch I know. Now though depending on the situation, I find it quite easy to say no.

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
37 weeks ago

Reading

I am slowly but surely killing off my people pleasing tendencies. And in doing so I feel okay saying no.

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By *s2pervsCouple
37 weeks ago

Truro

Very comfortable...

Mr. X

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By *estructionDollyWoman
37 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

Depends on the context. I used to really struggle as I hate being mean to people who don't deserve it. I hate break ups etc. But if it's a case of advocating for myself and saying no, I've got much better at that.

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
37 weeks ago

North West

"I am slowly but surely killing off my people pleasing tendencies. And in doing so I feel okay saying no. "

Sadly you can't please everyone and that's okay.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I do struggle a little in certain situations but sometimes i feel its better to set limits and just say no.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I'm so bad at saying no

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By *r_Mrs.DSCouple
37 weeks ago

Voldsøy

I have always struggled with it. It's gotta be done though.

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By *FallenAngel-Woman
37 weeks ago

Kings Langley

I used to hate saying no and upsetting people, but over the years I have gotten much better at it. I think a lot of it depends on how you deliver the 'no' to how upset someone could get

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By *s Verity VeneryWoman
37 weeks ago

Bliss

Bad. Until they walk all over me, then I go to a hard no, I need to find a middle ground somehow

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By *verageHoesCouple
37 weeks ago

Bessacarr

Fairly good, now. It's taken a lot of years of practice.

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By *exyScientistsCouple
37 weeks ago

Castlebar

I'm terrible at it. Running my own business was a disaster. I ended up working into the early hours way too often. Glad I ditched that. But still I'm a soft touch, get screwed over at work. Did again this morning! And every time. People seem to know what to say to make me give in...😡

Not just at work I'd say 🙈

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By *eliWoman
37 weeks ago

It's situational; the more I care about someone, the nicer they are the trickier I find it. If someone has been a bit of a dick or I don't really know them/care for them it's a lot easier. I'm getting better at it.

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By *adame BootsTV/TS
37 weeks ago

Tetbury

Used to be a people pleaser but eventually realised I was doing everything for everyone for nothing, started saying no or not offering to help, not loan tools, not do jobs that I didn't want to do.

Its an easier life now, some people just take take take.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
37 weeks ago

East Sussex

It depends on the situation and the person.

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By *lderflowerAppleWoman
37 weeks ago

Hampshire

I very much used to be a people pleaser, but once I realised - through personal experience - how much people take advantage of that, it's become very easy to say No (often with a silent 'fuck off' to follow up)

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By *entleman.kMan
37 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"Do you find it easy to say no? I don't mean just on here, but, in general really and in any situation you find uncomfortable? Or do you struggle saying no?

Me personally I used to struggle, soft touch I know. Now though depending on the situation, I find it quite easy to say no. "

Same here used to find it difficult to say no, but there are so many idiots I come across doing my job its second nature to say no now more than yes, think it’s my age filter kicking in

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By *oochie DeLiciousWoman
37 weeks ago

Wolvo

Depends on the situation. Sometimes it’s easy. Other times difficult. I try to help where i can.

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By *partharmonyCouple
37 weeks ago

Tonbridge

There are many different contexts. In case of my ex-wife, I much more comfortable saying no to her now than I was when we were married. Luke

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

If it's a stranger, then very easily

If it's family, friends or anyone I have a connection with then it's very difficult

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Used to be awful at it, particularly at work as people knew they could rely on me to get things done, but slowly realised I wasn’t thought any more of and it was affecting my work life balance more and more. Learned to keep my mouth shut.

I’ve learned to say no to friends in more creative ways but with the honesty they deserve

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By *cLovin2Man
37 weeks ago

London

"I'm terrible at it. Running my own business was a disaster. I ended up working into the early hours way too often. Glad I ditched that. But still I'm a soft touch, get screwed over at work. Did again this morning! And every time. People seem to know what to say to make me give in...😡

Not just at work I'd say 🙈"

They're taking advantage of your good nature, you need to learn to fight your own corner, no one will do it for you. My ex wife had the same issue.

It helps if you try to learn the necessary skills to defend yourself verbally.

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
37 weeks ago

Midlands

As I reach menopause I'm finding it easier every day to say no. I'm in my "if I don't want to, I won't" phase of life.

Katie

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By *eautifully TwistedWoman
37 weeks ago

Telford

It really depends on who is asking and what they're asking.

I'll do a favour for a friend sure if I'm able to.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Depends on how strongly I feel.

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By *aizyWoman
37 weeks ago

west midlands

I used to be really bad at saying no, now I have absolutely no problem saying no.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

🙄erm …… not good

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By *layful_GaiaWoman
37 weeks ago

Yorkshire

In some contexts, easily, in others hopeless at it. Depends on who is asking and what they are asking for.

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By *ace400Man
37 weeks ago

near knock

Some people say I’m a soft touch because I don’t like conflict and just an easy life. But in certain situations, I know I’m not.

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By *olfandtazCouple
37 weeks ago

Bristol

I can say no when I have to. It doesnt bother me when I do have to say it and I dont have to back it up either

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By *ellinever70Woman
37 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I don't struggle to do so

And it's not being mean

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

After a lifetime of being a people pleaser, I now find it easy to say no. If someone feels a certain way if I say no to them, im okay with them sitting in that uncomfortably because if I say no, its with good reason.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
37 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"Do you find it easy to say no? I don't mean just on here, but, in general really and in any situation you find uncomfortable? Or do you struggle saying no?

Me personally I used to struggle, soft touch I know. Now though depending on the situation, I find it quite easy to say no. "

It very much depends who or what I'm saying no to , I've always been a bit of a push over but I'm slowly learning to say no.. it's only taken almost half a century 🤣🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I find it easy tbh, i'm not shy about saying anything if i'm honest as i'm a strong personality 🤷‍♂️

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By *rimal InstinctCouple
37 weeks ago

Carlisle

"Do you find it easy to say no? I don't mean just on here, but, in general really and in any situation you find uncomfortable? Or do you struggle saying no?

Me personally I used to struggle, soft touch I know. Now though depending on the situation, I find it quite easy to say no. "

I'm much more comfortable now.

I think going through a major operation a few years ago, I soon learnt. I couldn't and still can't do things that I used to, so at first it was tricky saying no (I am a people pleaser) especially to friends and family. But I soon got used to it. Now I can do it easier, but depending on what it is, I still angst over it before giving my answer.

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By *arialoueWoman
37 weeks ago

Doncaster

Im very comfortable at saying no

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By *orphia2003Woman
37 weeks ago

Tonypandy.

Depends on the situation to be honest.

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By *urvyMilf4BlackMenWoman
37 weeks ago

Norwich

I don't have a problem with it.

You need strong boundaries in place to feel comfortable with it. It's quote liberating to be able to do it when appropriate though.

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By *uke-de-PleasureMan
37 weeks ago

Leeds

I have no qualms in saying no. I try to be polite and courteous but I prefer clarity over skirting around something. I have no issues with someone saying no to me either if that is the best option/decision.

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By *atinaChica54Woman
37 weeks ago

Marlborough

Very confident in saying No

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By *reachersdaughterWoman
37 weeks ago

someplace

People on here are just weird, everyone acts like it's normal it is not a of men just actin how they want. No one will say anything i wonder why 🤔🤔🤔😗🤪🤪🤪🤪 i mean we all know why? Shit ill watch l say before I get banned 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
37 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"People on here are just weird, everyone acts like it's normal it is not a of men just actin how they want. No one will say anything i wonder why 🤔🤔🤔😗🤪🤪🤪🤪 i mean we all know why? Shit ill watch l say before I get banned 🤣🤣🤣🤣"

Yeah especially on the forums... I've been on the naughty step several times 🤣

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By *reeneggsandsamMan
37 weeks ago

Perpignan and cap

I'm getting better at it, I used to be a bugger for not saying no but practice makes perfect. 😉

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I've spent a life time trying to please other people. There's probably a reason for that, that a professional would tell me about.

Since I've been on my own I told myself to be unapologetically me. I'm much better at it now, and also feel happier, more positive and more empowered.

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By *dam1971Man
37 weeks ago

Bedford

I’m better at saying no in a work situation, but in my personal life I’m not great.

Having said that, it’s good to help others and you never know how much courage it’s taken for them to ask, so I respect that. Being taken advantage of stinks though

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By *asualfridayMan
37 weeks ago

Highlands

I've always been good at saying no. I will go out of my way for friends and family at the drop of a hat if it's important, but if I feel I need to say no for whatever reason then I'm steadfast.

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By *nnocenceExpiredWoman
37 weeks ago

Birstall

Depends on the situation and person, if they're a nice person and polite etc, i do find it hard to say no. If they're just a tool it's very easy!

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By *ruella DeThrillWoman
37 weeks ago

Essex

Thank you, but no.

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By *ustBoWoman
37 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

As I've gotten older I have found it easier to day no to something I don't want to do. When I was younger I found it difficult and people took advantage of that.

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By *parkle1974Woman
37 weeks ago

Leeds

I found saying "fuck that" is much more effective than just saying no 😁

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
37 weeks ago

North West

"As I've gotten older I have found it easier to day no to something I don't want to do. When I was younger I found it difficult and people took advantage of that. "

It is sadly the world we live in especially with people taking advantage.

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By *ositiveVibesWoman
37 weeks ago

here there and everywhere

I’m a massive soft touch. Any time I try to say no to something, I’ll feel so guilty I’ll twist myself in knots and have to force myself not to go back and say “actually… that’s ok…”

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
37 weeks ago

North West

"I’m a massive soft touch. Any time I try to say no to something, I’ll feel so guilty I’ll twist myself in knots and have to force myself not to go back and say “actually… that’s ok…” "

Is this for work or just in general?

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By *aFemmeCoquetteWoman
37 weeks ago

Somewhere in the middle not the.....

Depends on what I'm saying no to, sometimes its a blunt no, sometimes its a diplomatic no, sometimes I'll jist change the subject

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By *ookie46Woman
37 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Depends on the person and situation

At times I’ve been such a people pleaser and let people walk all over me but I’ve got better at not letting that happen as much

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By *ositiveVibesWoman
37 weeks ago

here there and everywhere

"I’m a massive soft touch. Any time I try to say no to something, I’ll feel so guilty I’ll twist myself in knots and have to force myself not to go back and say “actually… that’s ok…”

Is this for work or just in general?"

In general. I’m better at saying No at work than I am in my personal life.

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
37 weeks ago

Maidstone

I find it really easy. No one is in my corner looking out for me, so why would I not say no?

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
37 weeks ago

North West

"I find it really easy. No one is in my corner looking out for me, so why would I not say no? "

I'm afraid in this world, most times, you got to look out for number one.

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By *w funwifeWoman
37 weeks ago

near taunton

very comferble in saying it and reciving i dont understand people who cant say it or recieve it ..

this is a scene where you do things for you/and partner you seek those that fit you and what you want consent is everything no is no yet i know a few who feel they cant say no and instantl regret swinging is a jigsaw where most pieces dont fit ...

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By *esparate danMan
37 weeks ago

glasgow

"very comferble in saying it and reciving i dont understand people who cant say it or recieve it ..

100%

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Depends what it is really. Relationships etc I’m quite good.

I used to be pretty bad at it when I worked for a large Corporate firm.

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By *ynamite500Man
37 weeks ago

Angus

I find it quite easy to say no, but really struggle when it involves helping someone. I can't help but say, no problem!☺️

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
37 weeks ago

Willenhall

"Do you find it easy to say no? "

Far easier than some people seem willing to accept that "no" is actually an answer.

Which is why "no" often ends up being followed by "fuck off" or something broadly similar.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

It really depends on the circumstances and who’s asking and why?

But in general, those two letters NO are incredibly powerful. I think as you get older, it’s easier to say no . As one lady pointed out when you work within a company is often very difficult because one needs to be seen to be doing sometimes more than your fair share…. For a number of reasons.

In relationships, it can be very difficult

Generally, I find it easy to say no but what’s important is sticking to it - especially with children!

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By *asha86Couple
37 weeks ago

walsall

I used to be a constant people pleaser but realised it was to the detriment of my own happiness so have started saying no and realising it's their problem not mine if they're not happy with that response xT

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By *elfguy0404Man
37 weeks ago

Telford

Nope in normal life I can’t say no and on the odd occasion I do I feel bad and give in.

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