FabSwingers.com forum: Advice needed

By *igladNE OP Man
4 weeks ago

newcastle

I want my wife to hot wife and I'm not sure how to encourage her ...

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
4 weeks ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

"I want my wife to hot wife and I'm not sure how to encourage her ..."

If she says no, it means no

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
4 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

What's stopping her at the moment OP?

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By *azzler2Man
4 weeks ago

halifax

Op have you asked her if she interested letting you share her

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By *ndymac888Man
4 weeks ago

Dumbarton

Have you had any conversation about it at all ?

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

If you watch porn together, see how she likes the look of it ?

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By *eoBloomsMan
4 weeks ago

Springfield

Put her undies in the microwave.

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

"Put her undies in the microwave."

Good point, why stop there though, driving gloves in the toaster, bra in the waffle maker, stockings in the bread maker

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By *igladNE OP Man
4 weeks ago

newcastle

Sorry to clarify, we have chatted about it , she says she is very body conscious and doesn't feel attractive. I think knowing that men still want her will.improve her self esteem and her self image. It would also hopefully be a lot of fun for her and a bit for meeting.too !!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Sorry to clarify, we have chatted about it , she says she is very body conscious and doesn't feel attractive. I think knowing that men still want her will.improve her self esteem and her self image. It would also hopefully be a lot of fun for her and a bit for meeting.too !!!"

A lot of men think that other men's admiration will improve a woman's self esteem. The operative word here is 'self' if she doesn't feel good about herself she's not going to believe what men who want to have sex with her say.

If you try to encourage her to take part in *your* fantasy by making out it's mostly for her benefit she will not be flattered, well I wouldn't if I was her.

By continuing to ask a woman to do something she is telling you she's not sure about you are really telling her she's not how you want her to be. Imagine what that's doing to her self image...

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By *igladNE OP Man
4 weeks ago

newcastle

Thanks for that insight , I hadn't thought of it that way before. Yes it's my fantasy but in the past she has enjoyed men playing with her boobs and getting them out for attention. She hasn't done more than that though , however she did grind down on a guy on holiday as he was playing with her boobs and she told me how hard he got and what a turn on she found it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Thanks for that insight , I hadn't thought of it that way before. Yes it's my fantasy but in the past she has enjoyed men playing with her boobs and getting them out for attention. She hasn't done more than that though , however she did grind down on a guy on holiday as he was playing with her boobs and she told me how hard he got and what a turn on she found it. "

I'm not being critical of you in any way but giving you my perspective. Obviously I don't know your wife, none of us do do we can't be much practical help. However you seem to be presenting me with evidence for why you think she will or might be interested in becoming a hot wife. Why aren't you talking to her in those terms? Eg 'you enjoyed doing X y and z with that guy on holiday, is it something you'd like to try again and if not what's preventing you?'

Listen to her answer, if she would like to try but thinks she's too old, body's not good enough etc ask how you can help her get to a place where she feels good about herself and eventually try fulfilling a fantasy for both of you.

If she says she's not interested at all you're going to have to accept her answer.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Central

Communication

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Communication "

The cause of and answer to most of life's problems

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By *ndymac888Man
4 weeks ago

Dumbarton

I would try going to a club and see how she feels about it. No pressure just go for the night out.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
4 weeks ago

Leeds

Best thing is honesty swinging requires trust and all that jazz, so tell her look there's this site I've been showing my cock on to thousands of people, I'd like you to join me on this whack your tits out and let me watch some blokes fuck you.

Mrs

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I would try going to a club and see how she feels about it. No pressure just go for the night out."

if you told someone you weren't keen on trying sushi how many times would they need to take you to a sushi restaurant just to see how you feel about it before you changed your mind?

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By *igladNE OP Man
4 weeks ago

newcastle

[Removed by poster at 26/05/25 16:41:10]

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By *igladNE OP Man
4 weeks ago

newcastle

Thanks everyone. I'm going to follow the advice to get her to feel better about herself first and foremost. She has said its because she doesn't feel desirable to men but I know for a fact that she is. It's her low self esteem and poor body self image that is holding her back so I think it's best to address them first. If she then says that I'm all she wants, then that's my answer and I'll be content.

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By *one_maverickMan
4 weeks ago

Leeds/Bradford

There isn't really any encouraging... She either likes it or she doesn't, all you can do is pose the question really

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By *one_maverickMan
4 weeks ago

Leeds/Bradford

"Thanks everyone. I'm going to follow the advice to get her to feel better about herself first and foremost. She has said its because she doesn't feel desirable to men but I know for a fact that she is. It's her low self esteem and poor body self image that is holding her back so I think it's best to address them first. If she then says that I'm all she wants, then that's my answer and I'll be content. "

Have you thought about it you'll be ok with another guy actually playing?

I get it's a fantasy... But could you handle it in reality?

I've had situations where couples have had arguments over this as I've been there

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By *igladNE OP Man
4 weeks ago

newcastle

So I've watched her let men fondle her and her fondle them and I got turned on and wanted it to progress

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By *one_maverickMan
4 weeks ago

Leeds/Bradford

Then if she's done that surely she doesn't have an issue with the rest... Maybe a passive excuse because she's not into it?

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By *igladNE OP Man
4 weeks ago

newcastle

This was before kids and we are both older

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By *a LunaWoman
4 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Ask her.

She can say yes or she can say no.

Whatever, respect her decision and leave it at that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

"This was before kids and we are both older"

I'm asking this without any agenda. Does she know about your profile here? If yes, how does she feel about it?

If no, how would she feel about it?

Whichever answer you've given how does it make her feel about herself?

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By *ools and the brainCouple
4 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Lot's of good advice given so not going to repeat what's been said.

I'll come at this from a different angle.

Let's assume you have had a conversation with her and she's showing interest but is nervous.

Firstly: anything that happens has to be 100% on her terms of she wants to call it quits at any point then that's it, it's over.

Second:

Maybe suggest rather than jumping in at the deep end and going straight to full on playing.

Just have some social meetings with guy's,get talking with them see if this is something she likes,but it's got to be guy's she chooses and be totally involved in the process.

Third:

Let's assume all has gone well and she's up for fun, suggest starting with soft play no full sex and let things progress at her pace.

She's in charge and calls all the shots.

Ultimately OP, the fantasy often does align with the reality and you will find yourself on the sidelines with nothing more than your hard cock in your hand for company.

Think long and hard before starting things as your relationship will never be the same for better or for worse it's not something to take lightly.

However if your wife isn't interested leave it be and that's that.

Shut this account don't ever let on you are already involved in the lifestyle.

If it's a journey you're going to take it's together or not at all.

It's easy to be envious of what you see others doing,but once you scratch the surface many many relationships are not as perfect as they seem.

It will never succeed if it's one sided.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
4 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"Lot's of good advice given so not going to repeat what's been said.

I'll come at this from a different angle.

Let's assume you have had a conversation with her and she's showing interest but is nervous.

Firstly: anything that happens has to be 100% on her terms of she wants to call it quits at any point then that's it, it's over.

Second:

Maybe suggest rather than jumping in at the deep end and going straight to full on playing.

Just have some social meetings with guy's,get talking with them see if this is something she likes,but it's got to be guy's she chooses and be totally involved in the process.

Third:

Let's assume all has gone well and she's up for fun, suggest starting with soft play no full sex and let things progress at her pace.

She's in charge and calls all the shots.

Ultimately OP, the fantasy often does align with the reality and you will find yourself on the sidelines with nothing more than your hard cock in your hand for company.

Think long and hard before starting things as your relationship will never be the same for better or for worse it's not something to take lightly.

However if your wife isn't interested leave it be and that's that.

Shut this account don't ever let on you are already involved in the lifestyle.

If it's a journey you're going to take it's together or not at all.

It's easy to be envious of what you see others doing,but once you scratch the surface many many relationships are not as perfect as they seem.

It will never succeed if it's one sided."

*Doesn't* not does

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By *igladNE OP Man
4 weeks ago

newcastle

"Lot's of good advice given so not going to repeat what's been said.

I'll come at this from a different angle.

Let's assume you have had a conversation with her and she's showing interest but is nervous.

Firstly: anything that happens has to be 100% on her terms of she wants to call it quits at any point then that's it, it's over.

Second:

Maybe suggest rather than jumping in at the deep end and going straight to full on playing.

Just have some social meetings with guy's,get talking with them see if this is something she likes,but it's got to be guy's she chooses and be totally involved in the process.

Third:

Let's assume all has gone well and she's up for fun, suggest starting with soft play no full sex and let things progress at her pace.

She's in charge and calls all the shots.

Ultimately OP, the fantasy often does align with the reality and you will find yourself on the sidelines with nothing more than your hard cock in your hand for company.

Think long and hard before starting things as your relationship will never be the same for better or for worse it's not something to take lightly.

However if your wife isn't interested leave it be and that's that.

Shut this account don't ever let on you are already involved in the lifestyle.

If it's a journey you're going to take it's together or not at all.

It's easy to be envious of what you see others doing,but once you scratch the surface many many relationships are not as perfect as they seem.

It will never succeed if it's one sided."

Thanks , you have all given me sound advice and I will.ponder it well before taking any further action, other than trying to get my wife to feel better about herself. Thanks

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
4 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

Hi O.P.

I want you to have sex with other men. How do I encourage you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

That's a great approach and remember its entirely up to her to work on her self esteem you can't fix her.

Just remember when it comes to sex and swinging No is a complete sentence and doesn't require any justification

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