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By (user no longer on site) OP   
19 weeks ago

Shove up the next posters arse.

I'm really sorry but it's a large lit Yankee Candle

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By *ibblepilotMan
19 weeks ago

Preston

A pint can of Kronenburg

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
19 weeks ago

South Wales

I’m so sorry but it’s a large ginger Tom cat!! Xx 😄

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By *ou345Woman
19 weeks ago

somewhere out there

Uh! I'm stood next to my fridge 😳

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago


"I’m so sorry but it’s a large ginger Tom cat!! Xx 😄"

I hope you can take a sofa cushion 😬

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By *avie65Man
19 weeks ago

In the west.


"I’m so sorry but it’s a large ginger Tom cat!! Xx 😄

I hope you can take a sofa cushion 😬"

My phone. Luckily for you it’s on vibrate.

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By *ouble-SidedCouple
19 weeks ago

Voldsøy

Fire tv remote, at least it's not Sky! Nice and easy. 🤣

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By *ife NinjaMan
19 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Tv remote 😬

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By *olden RatioWoman
19 weeks ago

Buckinghamshire

A hairbrush. Bite the pillow...

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago


"I’m so sorry but it’s a large ginger Tom cat!! Xx 😄

I hope you can take a sofa cushion 😬

My phone. Luckily for you it’s on vibrate. "

I reckon I could take it 🤷‍♂️

How kind of you that it's on vibrate 😁

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
19 weeks ago

Bristol

A pillow, get biting

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By *parkle1974Woman
19 weeks ago

Leeds

A bouquet of 💐

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By *oneyBee200Woman
19 weeks ago

Kent

My dog

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By *hatCoupleNextDoorCouple
19 weeks ago

nearby


"A bouquet of 💐 "

My Mrs 😁

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By *tr8MrEMan
19 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

The cat....always the fucking cat!!!

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By *emma200Woman
19 weeks ago

Warwickshire

Teddy bear then my cup of tea

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
19 weeks ago

little house on the praire

my duvet

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By *tr8MrEMan
19 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

And I really need to read the full post.

Can I have my cat back please 🤣🤣

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By *avie65Man
19 weeks ago

In the west.


"And I really need to read the full post.

Can I have my cat back please 🤣🤣"

A buttered water biscuit.

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By *unguy410Man
19 weeks ago

Cambridge


"Fire tv remote, at least it's not Sky! Nice and easy. 🤣"

I've got a Sky remote unfortunately, but at least there's no photographic proof!

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By *adonkadonkWoman
19 weeks ago

B

A (ribbed) glass of water

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By *dam1971Man
19 weeks ago

Bedford

Errr, the cat

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Tv remotes

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By *NormalMan01Man
19 weeks ago

Harrogate

The TV remote…

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By *ugehandsMan
19 weeks ago

Fife/ Newcastle

Since I'm on a golfing holiday in cyprus it's a bag of golf clubs.

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By *obilebottomMan
19 weeks ago

All over

The wall

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By *aggy dollsCouple
19 weeks ago

bradford

Lunas feet.

Mr H

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By *avie65Man
19 weeks ago

In the west.


"Lunas feet.

Mr H"

My triangular spec case.

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By *inxy777Woman
19 weeks ago

essex

Headboard

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By *oughmanMan
19 weeks ago

Sunderland

A side table. Not very exciting is it.

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Classic Penguin book mug (‘Persuasion’, since you’re asking)

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
19 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

A hardback novel & a pillow.

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By *eri24Woman
19 weeks ago

Bridgend

A pencil 🤣 you got off easy

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By *ad NannaWoman
19 weeks ago

East London

A cylinder of dental floss.

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By *bitofaslutWoman
19 weeks ago

Cannock

Tub of almond body butter and a pineapple Ka can.

We're gonna need more lube

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By *oeBeansMan
19 weeks ago

Derby

A Sky Remote. Lucky for you it's smaller than my cock

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By *lice AgainTV/TS
19 weeks ago

Bristol

a large amount of codeine.

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By *TRAY-CATMan
19 weeks ago

DD

A 36 year old stuffed monkey ( a toy not a real one )

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By *TRAY-CATMan
19 weeks ago

DD


"a large amount of codeine."
.

Thanks I needed that .

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By *elloWoman
19 weeks ago

alpha centauri

A scientific calculator

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
19 weeks ago

South Wales

Seeing as my cats have moved around, I’m sorry to say it’s now an obese tabby cat…..sorry xx 😄

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By *estructionDollyWoman
19 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

My front door

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By *tr8MrEMan
19 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield


"My front door "

My mobile, I'll make sure it's on vibrate for you

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
19 weeks ago

Bristol


"My front door "

I’ll be leaving then 🤣

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
19 weeks ago

In the clouds

remote control

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By *arvey67Man
19 weeks ago

Grimsby


"I’m so sorry but it’s a large ginger Tom cat!! Xx 😄"

Made me laugh! I had the maddest tuxedo and no one would want him near any part of the body, except me who after about ten years stopped attacking me

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By *arvey67Man
19 weeks ago

Grimsby


"I’m so sorry but it’s a large ginger Tom cat!! Xx 😄

Made me laugh! I had the maddest tuxedo and no one would want him near any part of the body, except me who after about ten years stopped attacking me"

To give you context, at work a new colleague asked what are all the scars on your arms? "I have a cat." People wondered why I would have such a cat, the answer, except for his predilection for violence he was the best of cats.

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Sorry, it's my cockapoo. I'll pray for you both

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By *ansoffateMan
19 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Pictures of loved ones.

I know I'm adorable.

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

My cat

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By *uteinasuitMan
19 weeks ago

Herts

A half full can of aldi

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By *ake and BeckyCouple
19 weeks ago

Gravesend

OUCH!!!

glass of whisky for the next person

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By *uteinasuitMan
19 weeks ago

Herts

*fizzy orange 🍊

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By *urves and MischiefWoman
19 weeks ago

North West

A guitar … are you ready for it?!

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By *risscrossxMan
19 weeks ago

stourbridge

A radiator

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By *ibblepilotMan
19 weeks ago

Preston


"I’m so sorry but it’s a large ginger Tom cat!! Xx 😄"

Me Oww oww ow!

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By *iscombobulated1523Couple
19 weeks ago

Worcestershire

Phone charger cable

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *jh59Man
19 weeks ago

Stoke Golding

Empty coffee mug

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By *issLickalottapusWoman
19 weeks ago

La La Land

Rather large extensive lead with 4 plugs already plugged in ready to go

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By *iscombobulated1523Couple
19 weeks ago

Worcestershire

Sorry it's a wireless mouse

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *es not the MessiahMan
19 weeks ago

3rd rock from the sun

My work mobile

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *entmike76Man
19 weeks ago

bury

A huge bottle of lube

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By *ikeValentinaCouple
19 weeks ago

London

A pint of milk. Could be worse I guess.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ildTimes.Man
19 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

Laptop!!! 😬😬😬🥪

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elloWoman
19 weeks ago

alpha centauri

4 plug power extension cord, it's plugged in so might give you a bit of a buzz

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By *ryorkshirepleaserMan
19 weeks ago

Yorkshire

Lube

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By *anderingArtistMan
19 weeks ago

an abstract world


"4 plug power extension cord, it's plugged in so might give you a bit of a buzz "

The extension cord is plugged in or is something plugged into that?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anderingArtistMan
19 weeks ago

an abstract world

Duvet and tv remote

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By *ugh JerectionMan
19 weeks ago

Manchester

Asda meal deal.

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By *arkbell869Man
19 weeks ago

Belfast

My wife's panties

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
19 weeks ago

Well good morning, I hope everyone has managed to get their Cats and Dogs back OK,and managed to work the telly without their remotes judging by most of the comments

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By *phrodisiac2000Man
19 weeks ago

saddleworth NW

A yellow towel

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
19 weeks ago

Leeds

The husband - ouch!!

Mrs

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
19 weeks ago

South Wales

An overflowing filing tray…..sorry xx 😄

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ommy trucker1Man
19 weeks ago

anywhere near you

My sports direct coffee mug 😆

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *avie65Man
19 weeks ago

In the west.

A 1450ml Fairy Liquid bottle.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
19 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

A can of Fanta

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By *neakypeaky30Man
19 weeks ago

Around

An iPad....but it's an iPad mini if that helps

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
19 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

My sofa 🤣🤣🤣

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Large filing cabinet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *OVE-PORNMan
19 weeks ago

las vegas

Wife sleeping

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adbod2godbodMan
19 weeks ago

Manchester

2kg tub of protein

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
19 weeks ago

South Wales

A hole punch xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ornycougaWoman
19 weeks ago

WHEREVER I LAY MY HAT

Coffee cup and a wand. It's been a chilled Monday morning!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *avie65Man
19 weeks ago

In the west.

A wet floor sign.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *emofaJamesMan
19 weeks ago

London, Notting Hill.

😂

Notebook and Hobnob crumbs

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aizyWoman
19 weeks ago

west midlands

A stapler

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *midnight-Woman
19 weeks ago

...

Computer mouse

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
19 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

Lockets

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ister SmoothMan
19 weeks ago

Bramhall

A colleagues knee...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uziTV69TV/TS
19 weeks ago

Newcastle

White Twix extra.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ollyPocket75Woman
19 weeks ago

Aberdeen

Remote for tv

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elshlad85Man
19 weeks ago

Wrexham

My right lol 😂

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Silver FuxMan
19 weeks ago

Uttoxeter


"Shove up the next posters arse.

I'm really sorry but it's a large lit Yankee Candle "

A large broken spring from a High Pressure Fuel

Injection Pump that I’m doing a Failure Analysis of.

I reckon that it would screw in…

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *avexxMan
19 weeks ago

cheshire

right at this moment a cocker spaniel

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By *he Silver FuxMan
19 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

By the way OP the collection of pictures you have..

I recognise some of them from the internet- for example the cropped image of that luscious lady 15th March walking across a Holiday Inn Car park with her skirt pulled up is not you 🤨

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ot Pins2000Woman
19 weeks ago

belfast

Large Costa takeaway cup

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *2000ManMan
19 weeks ago

Worthing

Notepad. Rolled up of course!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ori69Man
19 weeks ago

Castlewellan

12 inch ruler!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *vaRoseWoman
19 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

I’m so sorry

10 plug free standing extension lead

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inballs99Man
19 weeks ago

Blackheath

The arm of. The sofa

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Silver FuxMan
19 weeks ago

Uttoxeter


"I’m so sorry

10 plug free standing extension lead"

“Shocking”

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ad NannaWoman
19 weeks ago

East London

You're not having my dog so you'll get a big blanket.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ypersoonMan
19 weeks ago

WHITCHURCH, Shropshire

My phone charger

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
19 weeks ago

South Wales

I’m starting to think my cats like this game! It’s a large ginger Tom cat again xx 😄

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aFemmeCoquetteWoman
19 weeks ago

somewhere, someplace

My very large make up bag 😬

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *h3rry Bomb80Man
19 weeks ago

from mars

A microwave 😂

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Tv remote! ( minus a cock)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *urls and DressesWoman
19 weeks ago

Somewhere near here

My dog

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *an8iMan
19 weeks ago

Bilston

Are 2 year old lab Loki

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ophie_GTV/TS
19 weeks ago

Gainsborough

My wife

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
19 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"My wife "

I'm quite far to the left, so the closest thing to my left is probably the Socialist Workers' Party.

Do you want them inserting all at the same time, or one after the other?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aizyWoman
19 weeks ago

west midlands

An 800 page hardback book, it is heavy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *enelope2UWoman
19 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

Sex machine 2 inches away as I'm putting oil on the joints lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
19 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

A phone

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orphia2003Woman
19 weeks ago

Tonypandy.

Can I take the thing on the left (large heavy train window) and use it to beat to death the things on my right? (Group of absolute arsehole man-children)

Please? Pretty please? It's a public service I promise.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ikeValentinaCouple
19 weeks ago

London

My husband!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *gooddayforfunMan
19 weeks ago

rhyl

Bottle of radox having a bath 🛁

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *edSirenWoman
19 weeks ago

magic mountain

My dog 😭😭😭 she’s just a babyyyyy 😭😭😭

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oeBeansMan
19 weeks ago

Derby

A glass of water. Hope they haven't seen 1 guy, 1 jar

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
19 weeks ago

South Wales

A mug tree, sorry xx 😄

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *avie65Man
19 weeks ago

In the west.

A Cornetto.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *8warrenMan
19 weeks ago

.

One off my dogs fast asleep after a hard days work

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
19 weeks ago

Altrincham


"Shove up the next posters arse.

I'm really sorry but it's a large lit Yankee Candle "

My husband 😳

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
19 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

A Kenwood KAF-3010R amplifier

Good luck.

B

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *avelovescouplesMan
19 weeks ago

wolverhampton

A cup

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *evebal12Man
19 weeks ago

London


"Shove up the next posters arse.

I'm really sorry but it's a large lit Yankee Candle

My husband 😳"

A remote.

Ps.. beautiful eyes NandT!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *emofaJamesMan
19 weeks ago

London, Notting Hill.

Ginger soap, I'm in the bath

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *Silver-Man
19 weeks ago

North Wales

Sofa

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
19 weeks ago

Coventry

A burger wrapper.

Mr

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

A bottle of lucozade

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago


"A bottle of lucozade "

Bed side lamp

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *vaRoseWoman
19 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

A chihuahua

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tr8MrEMan
19 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield


"A chihuahua "

Vibrating alarm clock

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

A puffee/foot rest type thing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

A coffee table...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Bucket of turf

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issLickalottapusWoman
11 weeks ago

La La Land

Extra hot mug of black coffee

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adbod451000Man
11 weeks ago

cardiff

[Removed by poster at 18/05/25 03:09:56]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exycarlashane181Couple
11 weeks ago

Leamington Spa

Empty share bag of haribo supermix

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hysTarynxoCouple
11 weeks ago

Codicote

My dildo 😂xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uzzieboyMan
11 weeks ago

taunton

A glass of Jack Daniel’s

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uzzieboyMan
11 weeks ago

taunton


"My dildo 😂xx"

😂😂😂

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eparated_galWoman
11 weeks ago

Salford

Bottle of wine, oh dear

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago


"Bottle of wine, oh dear"

Give you some real cock

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iking 777Man
11 weeks ago

thurso

Set of ear buds

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
11 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

My cycling helmet 😵‍💫

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *avexxMan
11 weeks ago

cheshire

cocker spaniel

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *essiCouple
11 weeks ago

suffolk

Super sparrow..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ustforfun456Couple
11 weeks ago

Devon, south West / Cheshire

Lamp

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eb51Man
11 weeks ago

kings lynn

Empty bed space.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exyScientistsCouple
11 weeks ago

Castlebar


"Lamp "

Mug of coffee ☕️

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ewtfaceMan
11 weeks ago

Bracknell

An empty tea mug ~ needs a refill!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uncouple153Couple
11 weeks ago

Abergavenny

Back of the sofa

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tu100Man
11 weeks ago

Southampton

TV remote

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ecretxLoverWoman
11 weeks ago

Glasgow

Tower fan x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *enuine MikeMan
11 weeks ago

Guildford

My pillow and then it's the bedroom wall

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ennyboy121Man
11 weeks ago

Manchester

Tv remote

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
11 weeks ago

Next Door

My cup of tea

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
11 weeks ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

A German Shepherd

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By *heVikingJarlMan
11 weeks ago

behind you

Remote

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

Remote control

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By *heGateKeeperMan
11 weeks ago

Stratford

Phone charger wire

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

A blanket

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

A pillow!

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By *parkle1974Woman
11 weeks ago

Leeds

A computer mouse

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By *olarbear73Man
11 weeks ago

Glasgow

A stand up paddle board

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By *dalisqueWoman
11 weeks ago

land of make believe

Pillows,i am in bed with my coffee ☕️ 🩵

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By *dalisqueWoman
11 weeks ago

land of make believe


"A stand up paddle board "

I love paddleboarding 🩵

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By *FGIHMan
11 weeks ago

Chesterfield

A loch ness monster ornament

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By *heVikingJarlMan
11 weeks ago

behind you

I've noticed there are a lot of remote controls lol 😆

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By *rJandMrsJCouple
11 weeks ago

Stalybridge

A washing basket. Damn. I really apologise about that 😂

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By *olarbear73Man
11 weeks ago

Glasgow


"A stand up paddle board

I love paddleboarding 🩵"

It’s great huh - going to Loch Lomond with it today 🚣

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By *urora1912Woman
11 weeks ago

Norfolk East anglia

A book 🤣

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By *vaRoseWoman
11 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

You choose, a large barrel round hairbrush or a chihuahua

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By *hunky GentMan
11 weeks ago

Stamford

Sounds rough or woof. 😆 🤣

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