FabSwingers.com forum: How Would You Tell Someone...

By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

That you really don't give a shit about what they're saying?

This sounds harsher than I mean it but hear me out. Someone I know is a big petrol head and is always talking about cars and bringing every conversation back round to them. I have no interest in cars and there's only so long I can feign interest or ask questions but it genuinely bores me and irritates me slightly that I can have a conversation with him about anything else.

Would you tell them? Would you try and take more of an interest? Help needed!

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By *rHotNottsMan
25 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

If you find this person boring to be in conversation with them, why do you tolerate it and give them your time?

If it’s unavoidable like a work colleague or a family member then just develop and practice ways to end the conversation politely and limit the time you spent together you could try completely changing the subject

You don’t need to get angry about it or be rude to them, don’t project your insecurities onto them. They just have a passion in something that you don’t.

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By *rHotNottsMan
25 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

But yeah, if I liked the person other than that then I would try and take a bit more interest in it, but not too much….

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
25 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

if they're a good enough mate, you can look them clean in the eye, and with a glint of friendly sarcasm in your own, just say; "I really don't give a fuck! Let's talk about something else!"

If they're not that good a mate, then it could get complicated!! ...just introduce them to Fab, they'll have something new to talk about then, and you'd be subject matter expert! 🤣

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By *ickshawedCouple
25 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

I had this with my brother who used to describe how quick each motorway was and the best route to take. I believe I said he was boring the living shit out of me and went to talk to someone else. I am very honest about my zero interest in cars, formula one (which I will forever refer to as the grand pricks), driving and fucking motorways. Makes family gatherings more bearable

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Couple of options

First is the classic. Pretend you don’t speak English. Que?

Second is a little more intricate to pull off but is definitely achievable. Have you considered faking your own death? Change your name, move away and start again?

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By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

So he's a good mate, and he knows I'm not into cars and I've joked about how everything he says goes over my head and in the past, we'd move on. But now it's. All. He. Talks. About 🙈

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

I’m a prick I’d probably just say ‘oh mad’ every time he talked about cars until he got the hint

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
25 weeks ago

East Sussex

It's difficult isn't it.

If telling them straight isn't an option (I would find that difficult) could you change the subject or just show your disinterest via body language?

I can usually tell when someone has no interest in what I'm saying by their short closed answers or their eyes wandering when I'm talking.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 27/01/25 10:02:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Also have you tried yawning when he speaks?

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By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

[Removed by poster at 27/01/25 10:03:44]

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By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

"I’m a prick I’d probably just say ‘oh mad’ every time he talked about cars until he got the hint "

Oh mate, that's crazy!

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

"I’m a prick I’d probably just say ‘oh mad’ every time he talked about cars until he got the hint

Oh mate, that's crazy!"

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By *urves and MischiefWoman
25 weeks ago

North West

They would know from my face and eye rolls before I’d have the opportunity to vocalise it. It betrays me like that.

If he doesn’t take the hint with your subtle comments then gently place your finger on his lips, press down and say shhhhhhhh. That should blindside him

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By *rHotNottsMan
25 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"So he's a good mate, and he knows I'm not into cars and I've joked about how everything he says goes over my head and in the past, we'd move on. But now it's. All. He. Talks. About 🙈"

Maybe it’s down to you to find some alternative conversation!

I actually have someone in my life a little bit like this, I do a mix of limiting time with them, taking a genuine interest seeing if I can actually learn something , I ask a lot of detailed questions, and also try my hardest to talk about other things when it’s too much! I can’t be doing with pretending to be interested in something I’m not it’s just draining & disrespectful

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
25 weeks ago

wonderland.

"So he's a good mate, and he knows I'm not into cars and I've joked about how everything he says goes over my head and in the past, we'd move on. But now it's. All. He. Talks. About 🙈"
awww I fear this is something half my friends must endure at some point. I'm a real petrol head... but to be fair.. most of my friends are too.. the rest every so often something gets me all excited... and same as when they tell me something about their life that they are into that I may not get... I will listen and be interested as they are my friend....

I don't have to be interested in a topic to be interested and engaged in what my friend is telling me. I may not understand it... and I may tell them that straight. But if it's something they are passionate about. It's part of them

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

"That you really don't give a shit about what they're saying?

Would you tell them? Would you try and take more of an interest? Help needed!"

Mate you’re a grown man I think the time for beating around the bushes is behind you !

Just tell him to shut the fuck up you ain’t In to constantly talking about cars ! It ain’t your thing

Honestly is definitely best with your pals he will respect the truth

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By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

"if they're a good enough mate, you can look them clean in the eye, and with a glint of friendly sarcasm in your own, just say; "I really don't give a fuck! Let's talk about something else!"

If they're not that good a mate, then it could get complicated!! ...just introduce them to Fab, they'll have something new to talk about then, and you'd be subject matter expert! 🤣"

I've tried the first one and it hasn't helped 😂

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By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

"It's difficult isn't it.

If telling them straight isn't an option (I would find that difficult) could you change the subject or just show your disinterest via body language?

I can usually tell when someone has no interest in what I'm saying by their short closed answers or their eyes wandering when I'm talking. "

In person, I can do it easy enough. Over text is another matter as I feel rude just ignoring him 😂

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
25 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"That you really don't give a shit about what they're saying?

Would you tell them? Would you try and take more of an interest? Help needed!"

Yawn loudly then start banging on about whatever you love that they don't

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By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

"Couple of options

First is the classic. Pretend you don’t speak English. Que?

Second is a little more intricate to pull off but is definitely achievable. Have you considered faking your own death? Change your name, move away and start again? "

It's a bit drastic. What if I do all that and make friends with another petrol head? 😭

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By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

"So he's a good mate, and he knows I'm not into cars and I've joked about how everything he says goes over my head and in the past, we'd move on. But now it's. All. He. Talks. About 🙈

Maybe it’s down to you to find some alternative conversation!

That's how I feel, it's tough to balance that thing of being interested and just changing up the conversation or limiting time speaking with them but I think you're right!

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By *haron1701ETV/TS
25 weeks ago

Southport

"So he's a good mate, and he knows I'm not into cars and I've joked about how everything he says goes over my head and in the past, we'd move on. But now it's. All. He. Talks. About 🙈 awww I fear this is something half my friends must endure at some point. I'm a real petrol head... but to be fair.. most of my friends are too.. the rest every so often something gets me all excited... and same as when they tell me something about their life that they are into that I may not get... I will listen and be interested as they are my friend....

Cali "

Yaay!!! Another petrol head

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By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

"So he's a good mate, and he knows I'm not into cars and I've joked about how everything he says goes over my head and in the past, we'd move on. But now it's. All. He. Talks. About 🙈

awww I fear this is something half my friends must endure at some point. I'm a real petrol head... but to be fair.. most of my friends are too.. the rest every so often something gets me all excited... and same as when they tell me something about their life that they are into that I may not get... I will listen and be interested as they are my friend....

Cali "

I get that, and I know I've prattled on about things like coffee or football etc. when I know he's not interested in that, but it's when we could be chatting about something and he always brings it back round to cars. It's inescapable! 😂

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By *ealitybitesMan
25 weeks ago

Belfast

I used to work with a group of people, both men and women who were always having conversations about others and at first I thought they were people they all knew or had worked there previously.

Then I discovered that they were talking about soap characters FFS.

After a few weeks of that I told them they really needed to get a life and get out more.

Luckily I was able to move elsewhere in the building to get away from their inane chat and they eventually got the message.

I also have a friend who is fairly knowledgeable on a number of subjects but seems to forget that he already told you about his experiences the previous week.

He is so focused on what he wants to say he doesn't listen to anyone and is often left behind or at the wrong meeting point because he didn't take in what was said to him.

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By *bitofaslutWoman
25 weeks ago

Cannock

It's a skill I haven't mastered yet.

Maybe enough sarcastic "really??"'s would subtlety get the message across, then just a diplomatic "it's not really my thing"?

I don't know though, I just sit and let it wash over my head then find out a week later half of it's sunk in and now I know about pneumatic transmissions and how to calculate mileage...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
25 weeks ago

East Sussex

"It's difficult isn't it.

If telling them straight isn't an option (I would find that difficult) could you change the subject or just show your disinterest via body language?

I can usually tell when someone has no interest in what I'm saying by their short closed answers or their eyes wandering when I'm talking.

In person, I can do it easy enough. Over text is another matter as I feel rude just ignoring him 😂"

Oh god! How dull! Can you skim read?

I have a good friend and our code for 'this is boring me now' is to reply 'fascinating!' in person or by text.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
25 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Tell him you're thinking about buying a small used French hatchback, diesel obvs, and how you're looking forward to great economical driving, high mpg and never going over 60 because it will rattle and feel like it's falling apart.

He'll never want to talk to you about cars again.

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By *ealitybitesMan
25 weeks ago

Belfast

I also used to know someone who sold second hand cars for a living but he was happy chatting about almost anything.

He suffered a really bad head injury in a fall and for at least 5 or 6 years after couldn't talk about anything but cars. He got really frustrated when others weren't talking about cars and interrupted to change the subject back to whatever car he had in his head at that moment.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
25 weeks ago

East Sussex

Friendship and conversation is a two way thing. When it isn't it's neither.

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By *bitofaslutWoman
25 weeks ago

Cannock

"Tell him you're thinking about buying a small used French hatchback, diesel obvs, and how you're looking forward to great economical driving, high mpg and never going over 60 because it will rattle and feel like it's falling apart.

He'll never want to talk to you about cars again. "

This reminded me of something that happened 35 years ago. Off on family holiday to the isle of wight, dad's doing 80 down the motorway beside we're late due the ferry...

And this bloody deckchair of a 2cv blows past us like we're standing still!

Like what the hell??

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By *eroLondonMan
25 weeks ago

Mayfair

I'm with JåmiePånts: start conversing with them in Punjabi, with elements of Makaton™ Sign Language thrown in with good measure (I can teach you this).

Please do this S{real name redacted}p. 🧐

💙

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By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

"It's difficult isn't it.

If telling them straight isn't an option (I would find that difficult) could you change the subject or just show your disinterest via body language?

I can usually tell when someone has no interest in what I'm saying by their short closed answers or their eyes wandering when I'm talking.

In person, I can do it easy enough. Over text is another matter as I feel rude just ignoring him 😂

Oh god! How dull! Can you skim read?

I have a good friend and our code for 'this is boring me now' is to reply 'fascinating!' in person or by text. "

The trust "ah fair enough" is my go-to 😂

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
25 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I don't. I know a lot of people with niche interests who have no one to talk to about them and just view it as a pain for me, but something that means a lot to them

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By *rdere OpusCouple
25 weeks ago

Brum - ish

Could you either try saying I’m not sure I’m very helpful to you in this topic let’s move on or be blunt upfront and give him a time limit on the topic and tell him after that’s up that’s his lot, it’s onto something else?

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By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

"Could you either try saying I’m not sure I’m very helpful to you in this topic let’s move on or be blunt upfront and give him a time limit on the topic and tell him after that’s up that’s his lot, it’s onto something else? "

That second idea is brilliant, just imagining tapping my watch telling him to get to the point

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

"Couple of options

First is the classic. Pretend you don’t speak English. Que?

Second is a little more intricate to pull off but is definitely achievable. Have you considered faking your own death? Change your name, move away and start again?

It's a bit drastic. What if I do all that and make friends with another petrol head? 😭"

If you had a do over and got yourself in the same situation then I would have to say the blame lies on your doorstep. I’d advise getting really interested in cars

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By *ust want fun 888Man
25 weeks ago

nearby

I’m the kind person without being rude, who, if I know them well enough will tell them straight, I know my brother is all supposed to be close but always talking about his cars and stuff and I just tell him stop where you are, not interested and you know that, so he does but like your friend, eventually gets back around to it again which is where I tell him I must go now or I’ve got to hang up

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By *a LunaWoman
25 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Just say “look, I know you’re into …………but I’m not. So stop bumping your gums about it and let me get on with my life, in peace!”

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
25 weeks ago

wonderland.

He'll never want to talk to you about cars again. "
no see if a friend sent me that , I'd have to help them choose something else lol

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By *WANDTGCouple
25 weeks ago

Borough of Greenwich

Try a light hearted " Anyway, change of subject, did you blah blah blah " on whatever topic you wished to chat about.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
25 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

My step mum is like this.

Just talks at me about the most inane things. ‘Do you know Jean round the corner, she got the bus the other week and it didn’t stop at one of the stops…’ 😴

I’m saying ‘so what’ in my head constantly 😬

I just let her go on for a bit so I’m not being rude but then I just get up and do something else.

I’ve done the carry on listening hoping she’ll burnout but she doesn’t so I limit time now and avoid getting comfy.

Leaving is a cue for her to talk about something for 30 mins as you inch out of the door.

Some people just aren’t aware they are like that.

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By *onestjohn1962Man
25 weeks ago

Milton Keynes

Do what Basil Fawltey did and pretend to faint.

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By *atgirl and RobinCouple
25 weeks ago

Durham

I find that saying nothing whilst taking one of your socks off and handing it to them usually stops any conversation stone dead

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By *anonfire96Man
25 weeks ago

Mansfield

I have actually done the second option, but for a totally different context. But it worked.

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
25 weeks ago

Hastings

That second idea is brilliant, just imagining tapping my watch telling him to get to the point

I get a bit like this when people go on about football! But I get defensive and make comments like it's only a game lol

Try and talk to him about getting a bike so you not burning petrol and green things about the planet.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
25 weeks ago

London

"It's difficult isn't it.

If telling them straight isn't an option (I would find that difficult) could you change the subject or just show your disinterest via body language?

I can usually tell when someone has no interest in what I'm saying by their short closed answers or their eyes wandering when I'm talking.

In person, I can do it easy enough. Over text is another matter as I feel rude just ignoring him 😂"

Don't ignore him. Just mention that you are currently busy arranging an orgy. That should give him something else to think about.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
25 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"That you really don't give a shit about what they're saying?

Would you tell them? Would you try and take more of an interest? Help needed!"

Show them the scene in airplane where he talking about macho grande and boring everyone to death see if he takes the hint.

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By *illy IdolMan
25 weeks ago

Midlands

"(Name), I don't mean to be rude, but I have absolutely zero interest in cars"

Repeat this sentence every time they mention cars, and one day it will sink in.

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
25 weeks ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

I have a long time friend who is similar though football and prog rock are there vice.

Love him to bits but gradually stopped meeting up.

We are still good friends. But the constant drone took its toll on the friendship.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
25 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"That you really don't give a shit about what they're saying?

Would you tell them? Would you try and take more of an interest? Help needed!"

Deflect.

Listen (insert friends name) whilst I like you and enjoy chatting,you know who really likes cars ? Bob (assuming you know a Bob other names will work) he loves car's and always talking about them in fact he's modifying one right now in his spare time, you should definitely go talk to Bob.

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By *exy-SashWoman
25 weeks ago

Leighton Buzzard

I’d probably say something like. I’ll have to take your word for it. Not something that overly interests me . Prompting a subject change.

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By *eus n EuropaCouple
25 weeks ago

Dartford

"That you really don't give a shit about what they're saying?

Would you tell them? Would you try and take more of an interest? Help needed!"

Go onto Amazon and buy yourself a D.L.L.I.G.A.F Tee shirt and wear it the next time you meet up

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By *ellhungvweMan
25 weeks ago

Cheltenham

Block and move on. Fab works in real life too.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
25 weeks ago

Central

Think of Pavlov and his dogs. You can influence how he behaves, when he's with you. Eventually you could ring your bell and have him behave differently.

. Rather than tell him - which you could do+ it's perhaps better to 'train' him not to do it.

Plus you could also stop the engagement, each time that he starts it.

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By *aitonelMan
25 weeks ago

Liverpool

Ah the good old dilemma of I don't give a shit vs pissing on their parade.

I'm eternally in this when it comes to football and sports in general.

I could not give a fuck what they are saying to me about it, but I don't want to shut down something they are interested in - unless it's a stranger.

I essentially tell people I'm probably going to zone out, I will have nothing at all to add to the conversation as I have zero interest in the topic. Let them know you are are stepping back from it without shitting on their interest.

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By *2000ManMan
25 weeks ago

Worthing

Would never tell probably I'd just ignore.

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By *estructionDollyWoman
25 weeks ago

Manchester

I think you've just got to be honest to a degree, just say it's great that you're so enthusiastic about cars but they're not really my thing and I can contribute much to this conversation. Or "have you ever thought about getting some new hobbies?" 😂

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
25 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I have that big waffley infodump tendency. And I love receiving it from someone who's excited to share their enthusiasm with me if I'm invested in their happiness.

If I'm not invested, I usually just say okay and either change the subject or wander off.

I am not the most socially adept person though 💜

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By *etwife8230Couple
25 weeks ago

Newport

If it was a friend I would probably suck it up but Just an acquaintance if the eye rolling didn't work I'd probably say ,your boring me now ,off you go 😴

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By *ools and the brainCouple
25 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

You could always act over enthusiastic to the point of sarcasm

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
25 weeks ago

Leeds

I'm quite blunt, I'd just say sorry but I have zero interest in this shit & it's becoming a bit monotonous.

Mrs

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
25 weeks ago

Brum

I would start giving him a big wet kiss on the lips everytime he’s around.

Usually gets rid of this type of guy very quickly.

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By *he MinionMan
25 weeks ago

"That you really don't give a shit about what they're saying?

Would you tell them? Would you try and take more of an interest? Help needed!"

Just say to them that if you had all the money in the world you'd buy an all steel '32 ford, Z the chassis and just to annoy all the petrol heads make it electric.

Technically this would be scandalous

He will never talk to you again

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By *oeBeans OP Man
25 weeks ago

Derby

"You could always act over enthusiastic to the point of sarcasm

Oh no, please. Tell me more!

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By *ools and the brainCouple
25 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"You could always act over enthusiastic to the point of sarcasm

Oh no, please. Tell me more!

Point well made

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By *urry BlokeMan
25 weeks ago

I'm the same when people enthuse about sport - any sport, all sports

I couldn't be less interested if I tried

I just zone out

I wouldn't tell them to shut up if it's their thing though, but I'd let them know it didn't particularly interest me

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By *ansoffateMan
25 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I'd say early, the longer it's left the more awkward it is.

As in, what why did you let me bang on about this with you for years then?

Saying that I can enjoy people's passion that has its own value and sometimes my interests can be inspired by others, but if I am not feeling either of those things then, well in all honesty I am terrible at politely feigning interest it just comes across as sarcasm.

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By *anilla switchWoman
25 weeks ago

Hampshire

Nod off?!

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By *naswingdressWoman
25 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Hey you're talking about that thing again. How about that subject change?

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By *ickedtiesWoman
25 weeks ago

limerick

"Nod off?!"

😂 yes!!

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