FabSwingers.com forum: If you're single, what puts you off another relationship?

By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
29 weeks ago

Wales

Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else?

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By *ollybirdWoman
29 weeks ago

east Cork

All of the above

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

Probably the mix of all but ultimately it's a self protection thing I guess.

I however never want to share my space on a permanent basis thankyou very much

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By *elix SightedMan
29 weeks ago

Cloud 8

The other person.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

Possibly the 3rd. I would never trust a guy completely, and I don't want to be someone who is always questioning and wondering.

For me, life alone is a lot more appealing.

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By *parkleisback79Woman
29 weeks ago

Essex

I'm not necessarily put off but there's always the fear of getting hurt/let down again, I'm not sure that will ever go but I'm hopeful someone will "get me" one day and those fears will lessen

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By *uri00620Woman
29 weeks ago

Croydon

I like sleeping on my own. I like living by myself.

I don't want to compromise.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

"Possibly the 3rd. I would never trust a guy completely, and I don't want to be someone who is always questioning and wondering.

For me, life alone is a lot more appealing.

I don't think these sites help assuage feelings of lack of trust, when you see multiple examples of lying and cheating.

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By *aitonelMan
29 weeks ago

Liverpool

I mean I'm not single by 100% my own choice. But I'm. Not going to rush myself in to a relationship for the sake of being in one.

I can't say anything in particular puts me off, but avoiding being hurt again is a factor I guess. But also attempting to be in one and not being ready was not good either, the other person got hurt a lot by it.

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By *ositiveVibesWoman
29 weeks ago

here there and everywhere

Bit of everything… I miss having someone to come home to, but I love having my big bed and my own space to myself. I’ve only been single almost 6months and the guy did everything he could to hurt me… I don’t ever want to even risk being that vulnerable again

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By *ildTimes.Man
29 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

I'm too good for everyone 🤷🏻‍♂️. 🥪

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
29 weeks ago

London

Due to my life circumstances I don’t feel like I have enough capacity in terms of time and attention and I think it’s only fair if I stay single. Which is not an issue for me as I like it that way.

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By *mmaleiaWoman
29 weeks ago

Trowbridge

Happy with my life, my independence, the fact I don’t have to check in with anybody, nobody is taking up my time, nobody but me in snoring in my bed.

Theres more no doubt, I’ve been single nearly 9 years & have loved every minute so far

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
29 weeks ago

Reading

I don't think I'm ready for it. I probably do want to be in one but probably the risk of being hurt still feels too high? Also, lack of interest of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I'm not completely against another relationship, but it has to be easy, relaxed and not in each other's pockets constantly.

I do enjoy a bit of space, as I have ADHD and need time to myself to decompress and recharge.

I also don't have the patience, time nor energy these days for anything stressful and draining. The older I become, the less likely to put up with nonsense I'm getting. 😂

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By *ellhungvweMan
29 weeks ago

Cheltenham

You mean apart from the fact I am beyond bored with being ignored and given the cold shoulder most of the time only to be told I am not good enough for the 2% of the time I do warrant a conversation? Can’t work out why I don’t want to stick my head back into that mincer.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
29 weeks ago

Hampshire

Just men in general...

But all of the above.

I couldn't stand someone in my personal space, I don't have the energy or mental capacity for someone else, their life/family/issues.

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By *estructionDollyWoman
29 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

A bit of all of the above. I am dallying back with dating again currently and seeing how long it lasts. I had a date with someone new years eve, he stayed over and cooked my breakfast so that seems promising. But I've just quite enjoy my own space, my own company and not having my head screwed up by men for the past year.

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By *hortyscotWoman
29 weeks ago

Glasgow

"I like sleeping on my own. I like living by myself.

I don't want to compromise."

This for me too.

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By *ouise 555Woman
29 weeks ago

Dorchester

I'd say the fear of rejection, letting someone in and then they change there mind x

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I’m happy and wonder sometimes if I’m a jinx after loosing two special ladies to breast cancer

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By *Cocksucker84Man
29 weeks ago

Salford

I'll openly admit I'm pretty selfish. I like my own space, won't be told what I can and can't do, and if I'm around people all day I like getting home and having some down time. I also like that I can make whatever I want to eat rather than considering anybody else.

I also like the thrill of the chase. As soon as he shows interest back I get bored. Haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

My ex was abusive as fuck, so right now mentally and physically recovering and working on myself.

The right relationship will come in time, but I’m not hasting it along.

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By *lowercandyWoman
29 weeks ago

Lancashire

No one asks me

I admit I have walls because I have been hurt so it'd have to be someone special who can manage that

But in simplistic terms no one actually asks me to date them

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By *oeBeansMan
29 weeks ago

Derby

Because I can't find a woman to have a relationship with 😭

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By *eganMayWoman
29 weeks ago

Clevedon

I’ve been on my own for about 20 years. I’m absolutely terrified about being hurt, so a lot of this is self protection for me.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
29 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"Because I can't find a woman to have a relationship with 😭"

😓

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By *eggy8574Man
29 weeks ago

WANTAGE

While would love to have someone special enough to share my life with, I fear rejection and hurt too much to actively find someone, single life is much easier for me at the moment

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
29 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"My ex was abusive as fuck, so right now mentally and physically recovering and working on myself.

The right relationship will come in time, but I’m not hasting it along. "

Hugs xx

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By *angersnSmashMan
29 weeks ago

Belfast

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else? "

I’m happy single just need casual fun lol

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I’ve never been married or lived with anyone so would find it hard to share my personal space full time

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I just don't think I'm ready. I'm still figuring me out and I think it would be unfair to bring someone else along on that journey.

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By *atty CoramWoman
29 weeks ago

Wimbledon

The heartache - I find it debilitating.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

Life is perfect just the way it is right now, don’t fancy trading it in for relations just yet

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
29 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

It is not compulsory in relationships, even monogamous ones, to end up with a shared sleeping space.

It is perfectly valid to keep separate homes, or share a home but have separate sleeping spaces.

Relationships don't have to fit a narrow predefined trajectory.

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By *icky KlungespeareMan
29 weeks ago

St Leonards

These are approximations for simplicity.

I love my own space 90% of the time.

I love sharing my space with friends and family 5% of the time.

I love sharing my space with lovers 5% of the time.

There are very few things lovers can give me that I don't get more from out of myself.

But those things include the touch of another, other forms of sensuality, a differently enjoyable form of communication to the enjoyment of communication I have through myself, and (hopefully) good or great sex for all parties concerned.

I need these things, but around 5% of my time needs it.

Scared of getting hurt doesn't really figure - I know we humans are a messy breed, so I expect people to muck up.

It is a poor use of my time being around it though.

If I weren't so comfortable with myself, I might feel as though another human or two would be worth investing a larger amount of time in. If I had a deficit that needed filling, I might look to other humans to fill it, rightly or wrongly.

But I am extremely comfortable with me, so sadly the other humans have to go without.

They'll manage 💜💙❤️ xxxx

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By *anilla switchWoman
29 weeks ago

Hampshire

Because I haven’t found the right girl

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By *ad NannaWoman
29 weeks ago

East London

I don't have the mental, emotional or physical energy for a man in my life full time.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I've only been single for just shy of 6 months, so it's far too soon to contemplate a relationship in the traditional sense. I'm happy as I am, happy with my own space, happy nurturing friendships and family relationships that enhance my quality of life, and I foresee that being the case for a very long time to come.

I'm not afraid of getting hurt. All relationships - friends, family, romantic - involve that risk.

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By *over of ladiesMan
29 weeks ago

cannock

Kinda need a single woman to be interested lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
29 weeks ago

East Sussex

If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well.

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By *rHotNottsMan
29 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think it’s mostly number three. I’m very happy being single and seeing who I want to when I want to , without having to consider a partner, but also it’s nice to have the bed to yourself too.

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By *a LunaWoman
29 weeks ago

o o OO o o

I’m just happiest alone. It’s take me awhile to accept that, but I’ve reached that point.

I’m quite selfish. I like to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I demand a lot of attention from partners. I like to feel adored, loved.

It’s a lot to ask for when I myself maybe not giving them that same level of attention back. I get that.

And most men like younger women. So, my ship has probably sailed romance wise.

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By *egasus NobMan
29 weeks ago

Wandsworth

Finance! So money lol

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

An interesting question and one I'm batting about in my head as I work out what the new single me wants from the future.

On the one hand, I've grown very tired of what appears to be the drive to equalise men and women to the point there is little point in even being in a partnership because there's more focus on competing than complementing.

I have what I have to bring to the table and I want someone who brings something different to complement so we can be better together but I may be looking in he wrong place but can only seem to find women that want to prove they're as good or better than me at everything I do. No thanks.

On the other hand, assuming there are still women that value men for what they are and see that they do add value and want to be part of a partnership, I see it very much as a choice between what I call and LTR and and FWB.

LTR = one person you commit to, very much like a marriage (eventually possibly).

FWB = Person (or people) who are friends but where you enjoy the benefits (usually sexual) of an LTR.

Both share the main benefit of having a person (or people) to be close to, intimate with and get to know. You can also explore sex and sexuality equally as easily in both.

But they also have significant differences and for me the FWB wins there.

With FWBs you keep your own space as and when you want it and only come together when it's mutually convenient.

You also don't have to worry about different financial statuses. I have worked hard for my assets (property, business, pension, legacy, etc) and I don't see any reason to get into a legal contract that risks that.

So, the short answer to why I don't want an LTR is my most recent experience showed that I don't necessarily get the peace and partnership I wanted so I will provide my own peace and find whatever else I need/want/am missing when I decide what it is.

The bit I'm unsure about is the deep connection and real intimacy I'm not sure is possible in an FWB but I haven't tried that so I guess I'll find out.

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By *elloIntrigueMan
29 weeks ago

North West UK

I love the thought of getting into a relationship, however I do sometimes question what anyone would see in me, it's easier to be single and because of how relationships have ended in the past.

I am reticent and don't seem to be able to give enough of me to ever escape the friend zone.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well. "

That's also a two-way street but I agree. Life and FAB don't help where trust is concerned.

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By *rHotNottsMan
29 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think so too but not just to fill a deficit, if someone comes along who really adds something I haven’t got, I would consider it. If I was still in business, I would defintely consider a highly practical , organised & supportive person for a partner. If someone comes along with the same passions that I have for things in life & pushed me to take more risks, then I might consider that too. But I don’t expect that to happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else? "

Just losing the complete freedom to do what you want, when you want and how you want without some form of questioning or explanation!

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

People …..ewwwwwwww

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

It is not compulsory in relationships, even monogamous ones, to end up with a shared sleeping space.

It is perfectly valid to keep separate homes, or share a home but have separate sleeping spaces.

Relationships don't have to fit a narrow predefined trajectory. "

I like this and I think it's very true. However, I find that most women I've encountered whilst dating have a very defined idea of what they want and discussing anything around that is often a deal-breaker.

Obviously I've been looking in the wrong places.

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By *ad NannaWoman
29 weeks ago

East London

If I had a new partner I'd want a lot of intimacy.

I'd also want respect and to not be taken for granted.

Finding someone compatible would be a gargantuan task.

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By *ad NannaWoman
29 weeks ago

East London

I don't want to have a explain myself all the time. If I'm going out I want to say I'm going out, I'm seeing (whoever), and give a time I'll be back if I know.

I'd want him to do the same.

If I'm the cook, cleaner, shopper etc then he must be a tidy person and not finicky where food is concerned. I can't cook well now and I can't run around picking up after anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well. "

The same goes for women. As plenty are exactly the same.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
29 weeks ago

North West

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well.

That's also a two-way street but I agree. Life and FAB don't help where trust is concerned."

I agree with Mrs NC. I must have found the one guy in a trillion when I found Mr KC. Found, as in, knew since childhood.

From loitering on here and seeing the sorts of things men post on social media, e.g. the pole fitness profile I was scrolling earlier, I have discovered there are far more occasions where I'd plump for the bear. It's opened my eyes to the level of horrific attitudes in the world, something I'd not really experienced until surfing on here and elsewhere. It's scary how many men are willing to say horrific things when it's anonymous but obviously mustn't in real life, otherwise it would just be never ending horror out there.

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
29 weeks ago

Wales

[Removed by poster at 05/01/25 14:06:42]

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
29 weeks ago

Wales

"People …..ewwwwwwww"

🤣

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By *ngrylookingpenis123Woman
29 weeks ago

Fab gives me major trust issues, so many people being deceitful, I don't want to be on the receiving end of that. I don't have enough time or energy to devote to a relationship

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By *ad NannaWoman
29 weeks ago

East London

Are you an agony aunt columnist?

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By *aybeLadyWoman
29 weeks ago

West Dublin

I like my space

I dont really want to consider any one else right now

Im cynical about men's intentions

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
29 weeks ago

Wales

"Are you an agony aunt columnist?"

I'm gathering data for my book.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
29 weeks ago

East Sussex

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well.

That's also a two-way street but I agree. Life and FAB don't help where trust is concerned."

Yes it is but I'm straight and wouldn't be in a romantic relationship with a woman.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
29 weeks ago

East Sussex

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well.

The same goes for women. As plenty are exactly the same."

See my answer above

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
29 weeks ago

ashford

Liking my own space ! X

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
29 weeks ago

East Sussex

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well.

That's also a two-way street but I agree. Life and FAB don't help where trust is concerned.

I agree with Mrs NC. I must have found the one guy in a trillion when I found Mr KC. Found, as in, knew since childhood.

Yep.

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
29 weeks ago

Wales

"Are you an agony aunt columnist?

I'm gathering data for my book.

I'm just looking for other perspectives than my own. I flit between wanting and not wanting someone in my life.

In theory I'd like something resembling a fwb but that's tricky to find.

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By *anonfire96Man
29 weeks ago

Mansfield

Oh this is a difficult one, and a longish story. Possibly a little selfish? I was a carer for many moons to my late wife. If you've ever been a full time carer to someone with a neurological illness you'll know exactly what Im talking about. It pushed me over the edge. And I never want to go through that again with anyone else. And I certainly don't want anyone else to have to do that for me. Told my kids in no uncertain terms they are to put me straight in a home if I ever become that ill. I never want them to sacrifice their lives for me. Sorry for that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
29 weeks ago

East Sussex

It's not trust for me it's attitude.

From the small things such as responses on older women threads saying

' I 'had' a 60 year old once'

To the threads wanting to recruit a man to chat their unaware wife up or worse wanting to give her number or location out and the number of men who respond saying they'd be happy to help

I'd need to know that a man I was with wasn't like that.

And yes, I will say it again I know it's not all men and apparently women are just as bad.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
29 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Oh this is a difficult one, and a longish story. Possibly a little selfish? I was a carer for many moons to my late wife. If you've ever been a full time carer to someone with a neurological illness you'll know exactly what Im talking about. It pushed me over the edge. And I never want to go through that again with anyone else. And I certainly don't want anyone else to have to do that for me. Told my kids in no uncertain terms they are to put me straight in a home if I ever become that ill. I never want them to sacrifice their lives for me. Sorry for that. "

I fully understand. I'm not in the position you were in but the last ten to fifteen years of our lives have involved caring for my parents.

Don't be sorry for the way you feel

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By *esYesOMGYes!Man
29 weeks ago

Didsbury

My last relationship ended 2years ago. It left me needing serious me time to decompress. Being kinky and having a high drive, Fab really helped.

Now it’s different, I’m enjoying a super king bed to myself most nights. Happy to be single and have ongoing sexual relationships, finding my own pace.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

It's not that I'm put off another relationship, I'm actually open to the right person coming in. But for me I'm really happy on my own and my peace and freedom is a beautiful thing that I don't want to mess with. If someone comes along that shows me they are worth risking that then that's a different conversation but until that day comes, I won't be settling for anything less than I deserve.

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By *agnar1980Man
29 weeks ago

Poole

Fear of being hurt but also haven’t found the right person.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
29 weeks ago

North West

"Are you an agony aunt columnist?

I'm gathering data for my book.

I read something about that once 🧐

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

My reason may sound a bit weird.

I had cancer and as it has been in my lymph nodes it may return in the future. So I made the decision to stay on my own now so as not to hurt anyone should it return.

But I still love male company and fun so that is why I come back here.

Fab is great for getting what I need and desire without any emotional connection

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By *orester891Man
29 weeks ago

Lost my long term partner to a long illness, wouldn’t at my age want to go through that again or vice versa. I suppose if I met the absolutely right person I might change , but currently happy with casual fun , not just sex but casual relationships , holidays etc .srx is still important even at my age lol !

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By *erdyEstLdner 82Man
29 weeks ago

Ilford

I will have been single for 10 years in April, reasons can be broken down to 3 Categories:

1) Women I want, don't want me.

2) Women who want me, I don't want.

3) Not really putting the effort in to find someone.

Dating is really shit now, especially when you're in your 40's, it is akin to sifting through a landfill looking for something that isn't broken or disgusting. I've been used, cheated on and lied to, I can't really be bothered with it anymore.

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By *esYesOMGYes!Man
29 weeks ago

Didsbury

"I will have been single for 10 years in April, reasons can be broken down to 3 Categories:

1) Women I want, don't want me.

2) Women who want me, I don't want.

3) Not really putting the effort in to find someone.

“Sifting through landfill looking for something that isn’t broken… damn, you nailed middle aged dating

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By *outhernC0mfortMan
29 weeks ago

Cumbria

Never married/no kids and live with parents at 38 so I'm almost aged out anyway by this point people expect an accomplished person. Fed up with the internet and UK when they cog it tempted to bugger off to a warm country and just chill with locals in the sun and drink rum oversharing x1000.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I've a history of avoiding attachment. I think I'd feel quite panicked about getting into a serious relationship. I do a lot by myself and I'm very independent.

I enjoy friendships and relationships that I've built and I have no problem with feelings or intimacy. Connections with those I'm close to are special. I just don't want that whole nesting thing and being solely with one person at the moment.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
29 weeks ago

Holibobs

Because I'm happily selfish. I've created my world around me, over 10 years and there is no room to incorporate anothers.

I'm happily doing the boyfriend/girlfriend experience at the weekends away from my home, with my fwb's. That satisfies my need for emotional intimacy

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By *ags73Man
29 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

It’s been too long and I’d be scared i’d get things wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I’d love to have a successful long term relationship but after devoting 15 years of my life to someone only for it to fail I’m admittedly scared of that happening again wasting so many years of life when it’s short enough as it is

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By *sWyldWoman
29 weeks ago

Edinburgh

All of the above and the fact I'm enjoying not having to consider other people as much as I used to.

Sadly I'm also now pretty sure what I actually want doesn't exist for me. Despite all my romantic hopes and dreams.

I've so much to give and it's taken me a very long time to see that, they would need to now have as much to give me. Emotionally, physically and in time and effort.

That might sound big headed or unrealistic but I'm just done being taken advantage of and having my heart broken.

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By *esYesOMGYes!Man
29 weeks ago

Didsbury

Its easier to meet more open and honest people here than on any of the vanilla dating sites. I quit using them years ago. It was fun telling a date what I got up to here when it came up in conversation. She finished her drink quick and sadly left looking pale. I’d not even gone in to any details.

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By *aybeLadyWoman
29 weeks ago

West Dublin

"My reason may sound a bit weird.

I had cancer and as it has been in my lymph nodes it may return in the future. So I made the decision to stay on my own now so as not to hurt anyone should it return.

But I still love male company and fun so that is why I come back here.

Fab is great for getting what I need and desire without any emotional connection "

Not weird. Im in the same boat but my cancer isnt curable.

Kind of makes me undateable and I know its a massive ask to 'take me on'.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
29 weeks ago

Central

Life is very satisfying being single, I'm not feeling I'm missing out on anything nor closed to a relationship. I'd probably get used to sharing my large bed but hate it in a heatwave

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By *apio51Man
29 weeks ago

airport

Easy one.

I have my own way of doing things, my own rule set. I like things a certain way.

To be honest it’s a legacy of my 20+ year relationship that much of what I do now is what I did then. Either way, I know that if I decide to share my life with someone else, I will need to change much of what I do now and accommodate what they do to maintain harmony. I’m not willing to do that.

I do miss deep conversations and having a rock to lean on when I’m having a bad day though.

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By *vonne5exMan
29 weeks ago

Doncaster

I don't want to share my Jaffa cakes but I miss someone to put the kettle on.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I’m too set in my ways now, plus too many narcissists out there

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By *xstaceyxxTV/TS
29 weeks ago

longeaton,ng10

I'm bi sexual, so won't have another relationship.

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By *oyuer99Man
29 weeks ago

PRESTON

I lost my long term love to dementia, life goes on.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

All ov the above and losing half my properties and businesses I built up my self lol

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By *dz69247Man
29 weeks ago

Manchester

Been married, in quite a sexless marriage. Now separated (soon to be divorced), I never want to be in that situation again.

I’m loving being single and enjoying this lifestyle, the freedom to have sex whenever I want with who ever I want (presuming they want sex with me lol) is liberating.

If I was to find a partner again I would still want to be involved in this lifestyle, which is quite difficult, so am very happy to be single

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By *ndy man 61Man
29 weeks ago

Chichester

i recently came out of a relationship coz i felt it wasn't going anywhere problem being i feel in love with her and it's the getting over her bit i'm finding difficult

i'm still in contact with her purely coz i can't move on from her

all that said i'm enjoying the time i have to myself.

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By *ongAndThick123Man
29 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

Newly single after over a decade. I don’t think i want to be in a relationship for a while.

I’ve clicked with a few people in the last few months, and it’s instantly made me put the breaks on. It’s time to have less responsibility for a while.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

"All ov the above and losing half my properties and businesses I built up my self lol "

I spent my whole adult life working & making money from properties I lived in, ended up with a lovely house - which my ex then took from me in a divorce, after it was her affair that caused it. Two young kids involved so courts just hand them your whole life - hard to find the trust now but I keep searching.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
29 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

I'm not against one someday but atm I'm still enjoying single life ..

And also because I need to sort my shit out on my own before I'm any use to anyone

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By *jonesMan
29 weeks ago

south west

Nothing puts me off another relationship , I'm stuck between cups of coffee with ladies off bumble, and the challenge of a finding an adventurous woman who I fancy the pants off, we make each other laugh, and is up for friendship , look out for each other , holidays , dancing and general hedonism ..

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
29 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

It depends what your definition of a relationship is as to whether I would wish to be in one.

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By *jonesMan
29 weeks ago

south west

"It depends what your definition of a relationship is as to whether I would wish to be in one. "

Definitely

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By *lenderfoxMan
29 weeks ago

Leeds

Nothing puts me off, i'm just pretty selective and comfortable enough to not settle for less than what i'd want from one

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By *essaMayWoman
29 weeks ago

Fairytale Wood

Me now after a string of disastrous relationships and the best relationship I had i messed up. Me and relationships don't work and more worrying seems to rub off on others.

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By *jonesMan
29 weeks ago

south west

"Me now after a string of disastrous relationships and the best relationship I had i messed up. Me and relationships don't work and more worrying seems to rub off on others."

Finding this world and myself evolving over time and a few stumbles along the way .. has made me really think about relationships and what I want and can give.

I definitely wouldn't want to go into a vanilla monogamous co habitating relationship again ..

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I just think there's no point. Why commit your time and headspace to someone who will likely

Turn out to be a selfish prick, who honestly couldn't care less or have their head turned by someone better, or both 🤷‍♀️

I'd rather be on my own

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

Honestly, it’s a mix of things. I do like my own space – there’s something comforting about being able to spread out in bed and not worrying about someone stealing the duvet! But it’s more than that.

I’ve been hurt before, and while I wouldn’t say I’m scared of it, I’m definitely more cautious now. I’ve built a life I’m happy with, and I’d hate for someone to come along and mess that up unless they’re really worth it.

For me, it’s about finding the right person who fits into my life without making me feel like I have to sacrifice who I am. Until then, I’m happy as I am – but I wouldn’t say no to the right connection.

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
29 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

I can’t trust myself I’d probably pick another dickhead so no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

"I can’t trust myself I’d probably pick another dickhead so no thanks "

In a nutshell

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By *otts-manMan
29 weeks ago

Long Eaton

Left my ex wife because she turned into a narcissist control freak, and my current partner is unmasking as something similar....

So when I'm single again, I'm going to be very cautious about falling in to another controlling relationship....

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

Finding someone who's into the lifestyle and can accept that I will never be "faithful" when it comes to sex. I've had partners who say they are ok with it but it usually becomes an issue after a couple of years.

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
29 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"Finding someone who's into the lifestyle and can accept that I will never be "faithful" when it comes to sex. I've had partners who say they are ok with it but it usually becomes an issue after a couple of years."

A LOT of people really confuse 'sexual exclusivity' with 'commitment'. They ain't the same thing! Sure you *can* require both in a relationship, but you don't *have to*, and they're not actually mutually exclusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

"My reason may sound a bit weird.

I had cancer and as it has been in my lymph nodes it may return in the future. So I made the decision to stay on my own now so as not to hurt anyone should it return.

But I still love male company and fun so that is why I come back here.

Fab is great for getting what I need and desire without any emotional connection

Not weird. Im in the same boat but my cancer isnt curable.

Kind of makes me undateable and I know its a massive ask to 'take me on'. "

It really is a shit place to be.

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By *aldBeardy36Man
29 weeks ago

Manchester

I’m recently divorced, I’m not ready to go into another relationship, whether it’s monogamous or polyamorous. To many things I need to unpack so I’m not going into a relationship with that baggage.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
29 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else? "

Pretty much all three answers summed up for me. I’m trying to date since new years. So far I’m realising I am dead inside.

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By *evil-AngelWoman
29 weeks ago

...

I lost myself in my marriage and didn't realise it until it ended. I'm only just finding myself 5 years later. I'm really worried that it would happen again without me realising so it would take an incredibly special guy for me to take that risk.

I also have teenagers who have an on/off relationship with their dad so need a constant in their life. I couldn't give 100% to them and a new relationship.

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By *erkshire8299Man
29 weeks ago

slough

I like my own space , but some sort of regular relationship would be nice...once it twice a week or once a fortnight even ...evening work messes things up a bit fir me...

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By *ags73Man
29 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else?

Pretty much all three answers summed up for me. I’m trying to date since new years. So far I’m realising I am dead inside. "

Space. I wouldn’t sacrifice. Can see someone and not live together.

Sleeping. Get used to it on own, but like space can see someone and not be sleeping together 7 nights sort of thing

Happy or used to being as I am I dunno.

I dunno on dead inside myself, some days I feel like that, other days I know I have to live and keep going and if that’s without someone else that’s okay too.

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By *edSirenWoman
29 weeks ago

magic mountain

The right person just hasn’t come along yet. And it’s definitely harder to find anyone compatible the older you get! I want someone who can match me on all levels - intellectually, psychologically, sexually and emotionally. And they need to accept me for 100% of who I am (as I would them). I don’t feel the need to settle for anything less than that for no reason than a label.

I think younger me might have felt more pressure to. But at some point I took a step back, realised I’m actually happy on my own, don’t need anyone to complete me, and just accepted it might not happen again.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times I miss the little things - couch cuddles, watching shit tv and talking crap etc. and it would be nice to have someone to share life with. But to me that’s a bonus in life if achieved, it’s not a necessity.

Find me the elusive ‘one’ (or multiples?) and I’ll maybe reconsider! 😉

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I only became single age 46 i was in one relationship since being 18 so i intend to live a little now!

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I’m not totally closed off to it, but I struggle to let people in and so that makes it difficult to form a romantic connection.

I also like doing what I want when I want and not having to factor in someone else.

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By *apio51Man
29 weeks ago

airport

But it is the societal norm to expect both is what he is trying to say. I would say it is probably very difficult to find a partner “into” it off the bat. I suspect most couples on here got into it after a certain amount of time in an exclusive relationship.

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
29 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

And i think you're missing my point. You can paraphrase most of this thread in to "I'd maybe like a partner, except for I don't want all the traditional stuff because *insert reason here*, so I'll stay single".

My point is, nobody is forcing you to do the traditional stuff. You can define your own relationship/s, and seek out (and find!) others whose values align with yours. We're not each as unique as we might like to think, and there are plenty of people out there prepared to have a loving, committed, romantic relationship that doesn't look like the standard meet-mortgage-marriage-mortality setup.

I'm just saying there's options, it's not one set way vs nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️

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By *urvySub87Woman
29 weeks ago

Near Wellingborough

No one wants me. I'm good enough for sex but they don't want to date me. I'd love to be taken out and treated like a queen. I try dating but it never goes well. I always get the weirdos.

The dates that do go well where I get my hopes up end up ghosting me.

I haven't dated in 3 years now, not since before I did my ivf. Now it's nearly impossible to date with a 2 year old child. Guys don't seem to like the fact that my son is my number 1 priority.

I hate online dating. Getting called ugly and fat. Being stood up. I think I'm just going to be single forever and have to live with it.

Ah well, bring on the sex

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By *ndyraeMan
29 weeks ago

Glasgow

"No one wants me. I'm good enough for sex but they don't want to date me. I'd love to be taken out and treated like a queen. I try dating but it never goes well. I always get the weirdos.

The dates that do go well where I get my hopes up end up ghosting me.

I haven't dated in 3 years now, not since before I did my ivf. Now it's nearly impossible to date with a 2 year old child. Guys don't seem to like the fact that my son is my number 1 priority.

I hate online dating. Getting called ugly and fat. Being stood up. I think I'm just going to be single forever and have to live with it.

Ah well, bring on the sex

Hey - I don’t know you but from what I can see, I would 💯 date you. We live very far away so prob not viable but I thought I’d let you know I think you’re hot.

I’ve been divorced for 7 years and had more than my fair share of crap internet dates. Like you, I’m active on here and love the lifestyle. Not sure how you meet a partner that also is into this lifestyle - that would be my dream. I’ not the jealous type (quite the opposite) but very caring and loving. Not sure what I’m doing wrong…but share your pain.

One again - you are hot as fuck and hope you find someone worthy of you as a person and as a fab swinger xx

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By *rLipMan
29 weeks ago

Wrexham

Freedom

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By *ucka39Man
29 weeks ago

Newcastle

All 3 but not in that order unless she steals the duvet cover 😂

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By *ojanMan
29 weeks ago

Bedford

Isn’t it better to say from the beginning exactly how you feel whether its nsa or anything else and just go with the flow take each day as it comes that way there’s no heartache surely

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By *moothdickMan
29 weeks ago

stoke

The games .. fuck that !!!

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By *atinaChica54Woman
29 weeks ago

Marlborough

Happy as I am & don't want someone to screw that up, thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I still have hope that he’s out there somewhere

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By *haiababeWoman
29 weeks ago

North devon

Because i realise that i dont need anyone to look after me and i dont want to look after anyone else (except my kids), my kids dont need a step dad. And i want to spend my spare time exactly how I want.

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By *urora1912Woman
29 weeks ago

Norfolk East anglia

I dont trust the majority of men not to be telling lies

On dating apps they tell you what you want to hear in a hope of a quick fuck

I like my space, can do what I like with my time

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I think it's quite interesting that this post has 130 replies whereas the post asking for reasons FOR a relationship only has 39 replies.

Numbers correct at time of publishing.

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By *attering_ramMan
29 weeks ago

near you

All of em

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
29 weeks ago

Wales

"I think it's quite interesting that this post has 130 replies whereas the post asking for reasons FOR a relationship only has 39 replies.

Numbers correct at time of publishing."

Yes I thought that too.

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By *octor ProdMan
29 weeks ago

Constantly Travelling With Work

My selfishness and the fact that I enjoy being able to do what I want and when I want. Having been married 3 times (along with other failed relationships), I took a belated look at what went wrong and that is the cause

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By *hesblokeMan
29 weeks ago

Derbyshire village

I'm not, but if I were ever to start over, the person would have to have such exacting attitudes to life that I don't believe I'd ever find someone (who thought I was worth it anyway!)

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By *just.meMan
29 weeks ago

hartlepool

Fear of rejection

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Think this thread needs a bump

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Chichester

Generally that the person has no spine ultimately with dating a trans woman and having to accept the negativity that may arise from others once found out

Takes a very very powerful person to be committed / confident/ proud of dating trans / me. Only ever come across that did it once .

I now have the view of what’s the point in wasting my time down the line

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Generally I enjoyed being in a relationship. The problem is me now , and I I can blame failed past relationships as a cause but ultimately I have , lost trust and belief that anyone would want to be in one with me , yes I have been cheated on as many others have , which has shattered my confidence. It is not the most attractive quality I know and probably , the creation of a self fulfilling prophecy. I don’t believe it anymore so therefore it won’t come true. Joining here was the safest option and maybe one day I’ll try again but I’ve done dating apps in the past and they destroy your soul

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By *oughmanMan
22 weeks ago

Sunderland

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else? "

All of the above and then some.😆

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By *each needs some creamWoman
22 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

I like my independence to much.

I can fuck who and when I like.

I would never be faithful and I like the bed to myself at the end of the night.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
22 weeks ago

Reading

All the above. Relationships come with a heavy cost. I get what I want from my enm lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Prefer long term fwb like variety

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By *cnugatugMan
22 weeks ago

Chatham

My ex was toxic abusive and just out right horrible she beat me burnt me with cigarettes took Al my money checked my phone every day and well it was just a toxic horrible relationship

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By *upanovaMan
22 weeks ago

Sheffield

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else?

All of the above and then some.😆"

I agree, I like being in relationships and enjoy the company but find them restrictive in different ways. And having suffered emotional and physical domestic abuse it is just very difficult especially as the abuser is still in my life as we have a daughter.

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By *ooBulMan
22 weeks ago

SNottingham

What's the biggest arguments couples have....?

MONEY of course.

I'm not being with anybody unless they can make me a better person (and me them!) Full stop.

I don't appreciate someone telling me what I can & can't do... See that in married friends of mine. No thank you!

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By *naswingdressWoman
22 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

The person I need to love is me.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else? "

People.

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By *arly releaseMan
22 weeks ago

London

Relationships come with a lot of stress and drama and are Rarely beneficial for men

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By *xbabyxxxWoman
22 weeks ago

Doncaster

Getting hurt,is seems like too many ppl prefer multiple partners these day I'm old fashioned n I don't bed hop

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Im just happy on my own, i like doing my own thing when i want without having to involve anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Puts me off? Nothing that I know of. It's just that I never meet anyone to even start that kind of exploration.

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By *bitofaslutWoman
22 weeks ago

Cannock

What puts me off another relationship is the 33 years I've been in one or the other. I want to enjoy being old and single lol

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By *ora the explorerWoman
22 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

The thought of someone sleeping in my bed gives me palpitations. Nobody goes in my bed. It’s mine

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By *aldy321Man
22 weeks ago

Huddersfield

Starting the whole learning thing again. At 56 it's tedious. Learning about favourite foods, colours, family bla bla is tiring

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By *cLovin2Man
22 weeks ago

London

I'm open to another relationship, even a meaningful one. What puts me off is that women outside of fab are not into an open relationship so much. I don't want to be locked down by another woman seeking to impose her monogamy on me I guess.

I do miss being in a relationship at times.

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By *oiluvfunMan
22 weeks ago

Penrith

It's because women will say anything to get your attention, but then before you know it, she's just another one that says "Not tonight dear, I've got a headache...."

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Independence and a peaceful life.

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By *inderellamanMan
22 weeks ago

manchester

The ability of not being tied down getting to enjoy sites such as this and having fun with a sex life. Don't get me wrong it's great if you find a partner who's into the same and want to be on here as a couple, but I do enjoy being a single M getting to share someone's wife without the responsibility or another single F who only wants to hook up

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Because I’m really bad at it, To lose one may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose two is downright careless

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By *entleman JayMan
22 weeks ago

Wakefield

I love doing my own thing. I have lots of friends but enjoy my own company too. I like my own space. I’m not interested in “normal” relationships. Too much like wearing a straight jacket. I’m not talking sexual either.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Own space

Getting too old for a full blown relationship

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By *ansoffateMan
22 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

The inability of people to cope with disagreement without regressing emotionally and acting out their childhood trauma, like a scalded cat bouncing off the ceiling and walls.

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
22 weeks ago

Wales

I'd forgotten about this thread!

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By *elloIntrigueMan
22 weeks ago

North West UK

"I'd forgotten about this thread!

Me too!

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By *xfordjohnMan
22 weeks ago

Oxford

My third wife passed away in 2023. I still miss her every day and can't imagine falling in love with anyone else at my age. Sex is a different thing which is why I'm still on here.

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By *eanShaziaPk85Couple
22 weeks ago

Nottingham

Dating a toxic feminist

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Liars

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Being cheated on...

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By *ave1976XXXMan
22 weeks ago

newmarket

Having to possibly give up Willy fun. Love women but occasionally enjoy cock. I’ve had one gf that didn’t mind

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By *ecretSilverlinkMan
22 weeks ago

Manchester

being lied to again

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By *ot so needyMan
22 weeks ago

Galway

Didn't think I would for lots of reasons.

But have met someone who just makes everything better. I can't get enough of being with her.and I want every minute with her.

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By *oughmanMan
22 weeks ago

Sunderland

[Removed by poster at 28/02/25 15:04:20]

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By *oughmanMan
22 weeks ago

Sunderland

"Didn't think I would for lots of reasons.

But have met someone who just makes everything better. I can't get enough of being with her.and I want every minute with her."

If someone is making you happy, good for you, dude.

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