FabSwingers.com forum: If you're single, what puts you off another relationship?

By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
2 days ago

Wales

Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else?

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By *ollybirdWoman
2 days ago

east Cork

All of the above

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By *nya NeesWoman
2 days ago

Brum

Probably the mix of all but ultimately it's a self protection thing I guess.

I however never want to share my space on a permanent basis thankyou very much

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By *elix SightedMan
2 days ago

Cloud 8

The other person.

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By (user no longer on site)
2 days ago

Possibly the 3rd. I would never trust a guy completely, and I don't want to be someone who is always questioning and wondering.

For me, life alone is a lot more appealing.

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By *parkleisback79Woman
2 days ago

Southend

I'm not necessarily put off but there's always the fear of getting hurt/let down again, I'm not sure that will ever go but I'm hopeful someone will "get me" one day and those fears will lessen

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By *uri00620Woman
2 days ago

Croydon

I like sleeping on my own. I like living by myself.

I don't want to compromise.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
2 days ago

Kidsgrove

"Possibly the 3rd. I would never trust a guy completely, and I don't want to be someone who is always questioning and wondering.

For me, life alone is a lot more appealing.

I don't think these sites help assuage feelings of lack of trust, when you see multiple examples of lying and cheating.

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By *aitonelMan
2 days ago

Away for Christmas

I mean I'm not single by 100% my own choice. But I'm. Not going to rush myself in to a relationship for the sake of being in one.

I can't say anything in particular puts me off, but avoiding being hurt again is a factor I guess. But also attempting to be in one and not being ready was not good either, the other person got hurt a lot by it.

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By *ositiveVibesWoman
2 days ago

here there and everywhere

Bit of everything… I miss having someone to come home to, but I love having my big bed and my own space to myself. I’ve only been single almost 6months and the guy did everything he could to hurt me… I don’t ever want to even risk being that vulnerable again

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By *ildTimes.Man
2 days ago

Colchester/London

I'm too good for everyone 🤷🏻‍♂️. 🥪

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
2 days ago

Wherever

Due to my life circumstances I don’t feel like I have enough capacity in terms of time and attention and I think it’s only fair if I stay single. Which is not an issue for me as I like it that way.

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By *mmaleiaWoman
2 days ago

Trowbridge

Happy with my life, my independence, the fact I don’t have to check in with anybody, nobody is taking up my time, nobody but me in snoring in my bed.

Theres more no doubt, I’ve been single nearly 9 years & have loved every minute so far

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
2 days ago

Reading

I don't think I'm ready for it. I probably do want to be in one but probably the risk of being hurt still feels too high? Also, lack of interest of course.

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By *ernow1982Man
2 days ago

Plymouth

I'm not completely against another relationship, but it has to be easy, relaxed and not in each other's pockets constantly.

I do enjoy a bit of space, as I have ADHD and need time to myself to decompress and recharge.

I also don't have the patience, time nor energy these days for anything stressful and draining. The older I become, the less likely to put up with nonsense I'm getting. 😂

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By *ellhungvweMan
2 days ago

Cheltenham

You mean apart from the fact I am beyond bored with being ignored and given the cold shoulder most of the time only to be told I am not good enough for the 2% of the time I do warrant a conversation? Can’t work out why I don’t want to stick my head back into that mincer.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
2 days ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Just men in general...

But all of the above.

I couldn't stand someone in my personal space, I don't have the energy or mental capacity for someone else, their life/family/issues.

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
2 days ago

Manchester

A bit of all of the above. I am dallying back with dating again currently and seeing how long it lasts. I had a date with someone new years eve, he stayed over and cooked my breakfast so that seems promising. But I've just quite enjoy my own space, my own company and not having my head screwed up by men for the past year.

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By *hortyscotWoman
2 days ago

Glasgow

"I like sleeping on my own. I like living by myself.

I don't want to compromise."

This for me too.

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By *ouise 555Woman
2 days ago

Dorchester

I'd say the fear of rejection, letting someone in and then they change there mind x

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By *ensualtongue2023Man
2 days ago

furnace

I’m happy and wonder sometimes if I’m a jinx after loosing two special ladies to breast cancer

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By *Cocksucker84Man
2 days ago

newcastle

I'll openly admit I'm pretty selfish. I like my own space, won't be told what I can and can't do, and if I'm around people all day I like getting home and having some down time. I also like that I can make whatever I want to eat rather than considering anybody else.

I also like the thrill of the chase. As soon as he shows interest back I get bored. Haha.

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By *agerMorganMan
2 days ago

Canvey Island

My ex was abusive as fuck, so right now mentally and physically recovering and working on myself.

The right relationship will come in time, but I’m not hasting it along.

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By *lowercandyWoman
2 days ago

Lancashire

No one asks me

I admit I have walls because I have been hurt so it'd have to be someone special who can manage that

But in simplistic terms no one actually asks me to date them

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By *oeBeansMan
2 days ago

Derby

Because I can't find a woman to have a relationship with 😭

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By *eganMayWoman
2 days ago

Clevedon

I’ve been on my own for about 20 years. I’m absolutely terrified about being hurt, so a lot of this is self protection for me.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
2 days ago

Southampton

"Because I can't find a woman to have a relationship with 😭"

😓

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By *eggy8574Man
2 days ago

WANTAGE

While would love to have someone special enough to share my life with, I fear rejection and hurt too much to actively find someone, single life is much easier for me at the moment

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
2 days ago

Southampton

"My ex was abusive as fuck, so right now mentally and physically recovering and working on myself.

The right relationship will come in time, but I’m not hasting it along. "

Hugs xx

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By *wb699Man
2 days ago

Belfast

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else? "

I’m happy single just need casual fun lol

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By *ensualtongue2023Man
2 days ago

furnace

I’ve never been married or lived with anyone so would find it hard to share my personal space full time

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
2 days ago

Maidstone

I just don't think I'm ready. I'm still figuring me out and I think it would be unfair to bring someone else along on that journey.

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By *atty CoramWoman
2 days ago

Wimbledon

The heartache - I find it debilitating.

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By *rispyDuckMan
2 days ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Life is perfect just the way it is right now, don’t fancy trading it in for relations just yet

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
2 days ago

Wolverhampton

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

It is not compulsory in relationships, even monogamous ones, to end up with a shared sleeping space.

It is perfectly valid to keep separate homes, or share a home but have separate sleeping spaces.

Relationships don't have to fit a narrow predefined trajectory.

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
2 days ago

St Leonards

These are approximations for simplicity.

I love my own space 90% of the time.

I love sharing my space with friends and family 5% of the time.

I love sharing my space with lovers 5% of the time.

There are very few things lovers can give me that I don't get more from out of myself.

But those things include the touch of another, other forms of sensuality, a differently enjoyable form of communication to the enjoyment of communication I have through myself, and (hopefully) good or great sex for all parties concerned.

I need these things, but around 5% of my time needs it.

Scared of getting hurt doesn't really figure - I know we humans are a messy breed, so I expect people to muck up.

It is a poor use of my time being around it though.

If I weren't so comfortable with myself, I might feel as though another human or two would be worth investing a larger amount of time in. If I had a deficit that needed filling, I might look to other humans to fill it, rightly or wrongly.

But I am extremely comfortable with me, so sadly the other humans have to go without.

They'll manage 💜💙❤️ xxxx

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By *anilla switchWoman
2 days ago

Hampshire

Because I haven’t found the right girl

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

I don't have the mental, emotional or physical energy for a man in my life full time.

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By *ell GwynnWoman
2 days ago

North Yorkshire

I've only been single for just shy of 6 months, so it's far too soon to contemplate a relationship in the traditional sense. I'm happy as I am, happy with my own space, happy nurturing friendships and family relationships that enhance my quality of life, and I foresee that being the case for a very long time to come.

I'm not afraid of getting hurt. All relationships - friends, family, romantic - involve that risk.

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By *over of ladiesMan
2 days ago

cannock

Kinda need a single woman to be interested lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well.

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By *rHotNottsMan
2 days ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think it’s mostly number three. I’m very happy being single and seeing who I want to when I want to , without having to consider a partner, but also it’s nice to have the bed to yourself too.

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By *a LunaWoman
2 days ago

South Wales

I’m just happiest alone. It’s take me awhile to accept that, but I’ve reached that point.

I’m quite selfish. I like to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I demand a lot of attention from partners. I like to feel adored, loved.

It’s a lot to ask for when I myself maybe not giving them that same level of attention back. I get that.

And most men like younger women. So, my ship has probably sailed romance wise.

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By *egasus NobMan
2 days ago

Wandsworth

Finance! So money lol

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
2 days ago

Mottram St Andrew

An interesting question and one I'm batting about in my head as I work out what the new single me wants from the future.

On the one hand, I've grown very tired of what appears to be the drive to equalise men and women to the point there is little point in even being in a partnership because there's more focus on competing than complementing.

I have what I have to bring to the table and I want someone who brings something different to complement so we can be better together but I may be looking in he wrong place but can only seem to find women that want to prove they're as good or better than me at everything I do. No thanks.

On the other hand, assuming there are still women that value men for what they are and see that they do add value and want to be part of a partnership, I see it very much as a choice between what I call and LTR and and FWB.

LTR = one person you commit to, very much like a marriage (eventually possibly).

FWB = Person (or people) who are friends but where you enjoy the benefits (usually sexual) of an LTR.

Both share the main benefit of having a person (or people) to be close to, intimate with and get to know. You can also explore sex and sexuality equally as easily in both.

But they also have significant differences and for me the FWB wins there.

With FWBs you keep your own space as and when you want it and only come together when it's mutually convenient.

You also don't have to worry about different financial statuses. I have worked hard for my assets (property, business, pension, legacy, etc) and I don't see any reason to get into a legal contract that risks that.

So, the short answer to why I don't want an LTR is my most recent experience showed that I don't necessarily get the peace and partnership I wanted so I will provide my own peace and find whatever else I need/want/am missing when I decide what it is.

The bit I'm unsure about is the deep connection and real intimacy I'm not sure is possible in an FWB but I haven't tried that so I guess I'll find out.

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By *elloIntrigueMan
2 days ago

North West UK

I love the thought of getting into a relationship, however I do sometimes question what anyone would see in me, it's easier to be single and because of how relationships have ended in the past.

I am reticent and don't seem to be able to give enough of me to ever escape the friend zone.

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
2 days ago

Mottram St Andrew

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well. "

That's also a two-way street but I agree. Life and FAB don't help where trust is concerned.

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By *rHotNottsMan
2 days ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think so too but not just to fill a deficit, if someone comes along who really adds something I haven’t got, I would consider it. If I was still in business, I would defintely consider a highly practical , organised & supportive person for a partner. If someone comes along with the same passions that I have for things in life & pushed me to take more risks, then I might consider that too. But I don’t expect that to happen.

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By *ein-guyMan
2 days ago

Cowes

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else? "

Just losing the complete freedom to do what you want, when you want and how you want without some form of questioning or explanation!

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By *reggSausageMan
2 days ago

derby

People …..ewwwwwwww

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
2 days ago

Mottram St Andrew

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

It is not compulsory in relationships, even monogamous ones, to end up with a shared sleeping space.

It is perfectly valid to keep separate homes, or share a home but have separate sleeping spaces.

Relationships don't have to fit a narrow predefined trajectory. "

I like this and I think it's very true. However, I find that most women I've encountered whilst dating have a very defined idea of what they want and discussing anything around that is often a deal-breaker.

Obviously I've been looking in the wrong places.

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

If I had a new partner I'd want a lot of intimacy.

I'd also want respect and to not be taken for granted.

Finding someone compatible would be a gargantuan task.

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

I don't want to have a explain myself all the time. If I'm going out I want to say I'm going out, I'm seeing (whoever), and give a time I'll be back if I know.

I'd want him to do the same.

If I'm the cook, cleaner, shopper etc then he must be a tidy person and not finicky where food is concerned. I can't cook well now and I can't run around picking up after anyone else.

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By *edman60Man
2 days ago

south wales

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well. "

The same goes for women. As plenty are exactly the same.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
2 days ago

North West

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well.

That's also a two-way street but I agree. Life and FAB don't help where trust is concerned."

I agree with Mrs NC. I must have found the one guy in a trillion when I found Mr KC. Found, as in, knew since childhood.

From loitering on here and seeing the sorts of things men post on social media, e.g. the pole fitness profile I was scrolling earlier, I have discovered there are far more occasions where I'd plump for the bear. It's opened my eyes to the level of horrific attitudes in the world, something I'd not really experienced until surfing on here and elsewhere. It's scary how many men are willing to say horrific things when it's anonymous but obviously mustn't in real life, otherwise it would just be never ending horror out there.

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
2 days ago

Wales

[Removed by poster at 05/01/25 14:06:42]

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
2 days ago

Wales

"People …..ewwwwwwww"

🤣

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
2 days ago

Fab gives me major trust issues, so many people being deceitful, I don't want to be on the receiving end of that. I don't have enough time or energy to devote to a relationship

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By *ad NannaWoman
2 days ago

East London

Are you an agony aunt columnist?

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By *aybeLadyWoman
2 days ago

West Dublin

I like my space

I dont really want to consider any one else right now

Im cynical about men's intentions

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
2 days ago

Wales

"Are you an agony aunt columnist?"

I'm gathering data for my book.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well.

That's also a two-way street but I agree. Life and FAB don't help where trust is concerned."

Yes it is but I'm straight and wouldn't be in a romantic relationship with a woman.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well.

The same goes for women. As plenty are exactly the same."

See my answer above

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
2 days ago

ashford

Liking my own space ! X

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

"If I was single I would be extremely wary of entering into a long term relationship. I've seen too much on here to trust men until I know them very, very well

I know it's not all men but you can't tell until you know them extremely well.

That's also a two-way street but I agree. Life and FAB don't help where trust is concerned.

I agree with Mrs NC. I must have found the one guy in a trillion when I found Mr KC. Found, as in, knew since childhood.

Yep.

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
2 days ago

Wales

"Are you an agony aunt columnist?

I'm gathering data for my book.

I'm just looking for other perspectives than my own. I flit between wanting and not wanting someone in my life.

In theory I'd like something resembling a fwb but that's tricky to find.

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By *anonfire96Man
2 days ago

Mansfield

Oh this is a difficult one, and a longish story. Possibly a little selfish? I was a carer for many moons to my late wife. If you've ever been a full time carer to someone with a neurological illness you'll know exactly what Im talking about. It pushed me over the edge. And I never want to go through that again with anyone else. And I certainly don't want anyone else to have to do that for me. Told my kids in no uncertain terms they are to put me straight in a home if I ever become that ill. I never want them to sacrifice their lives for me. Sorry for that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

It's not trust for me it's attitude.

From the small things such as responses on older women threads saying

' I 'had' a 60 year old once'

To the threads wanting to recruit a man to chat their unaware wife up or worse wanting to give her number or location out and the number of men who respond saying they'd be happy to help

I'd need to know that a man I was with wasn't like that.

And yes, I will say it again I know it's not all men and apparently women are just as bad.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

"Oh this is a difficult one, and a longish story. Possibly a little selfish? I was a carer for many moons to my late wife. If you've ever been a full time carer to someone with a neurological illness you'll know exactly what Im talking about. It pushed me over the edge. And I never want to go through that again with anyone else. And I certainly don't want anyone else to have to do that for me. Told my kids in no uncertain terms they are to put me straight in a home if I ever become that ill. I never want them to sacrifice their lives for me. Sorry for that. "

I fully understand. I'm not in the position you were in but the last ten to fifteen years of our lives have involved caring for my parents.

Don't be sorry for the way you feel

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By *esYesOMGYes!Man
2 days ago

M20

My last relationship ended 2years ago. It left me needing serious me time to decompress. Being kinky and having a high drive, Fab really helped.

Now it’s different, I’m enjoying a super king bed to myself most nights. Happy to be single and have ongoing sexual relationships, finding my own pace.

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By *nomeforyourboneWoman
2 days ago

Birmingham

It's not that I'm put off another relationship, I'm actually open to the right person coming in. But for me I'm really happy on my own and my peace and freedom is a beautiful thing that I don't want to mess with. If someone comes along that shows me they are worth risking that then that's a different conversation but until that day comes, I won't be settling for anything less than I deserve.

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By *agnar1980Man
2 days ago

Poole

Fear of being hurt but also haven’t found the right person.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
2 days ago

North West

"Are you an agony aunt columnist?

I'm gathering data for my book.

I read something about that once 🧐

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By *ularliWoman
2 days ago

Worcester

My reason may sound a bit weird.

I had cancer and as it has been in my lymph nodes it may return in the future. So I made the decision to stay on my own now so as not to hurt anyone should it return.

But I still love male company and fun so that is why I come back here.

Fab is great for getting what I need and desire without any emotional connection

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By *orester891Man
2 days ago

Lost my long term partner to a long illness, wouldn’t at my age want to go through that again or vice versa. I suppose if I met the absolutely right person I might change , but currently happy with casual fun , not just sex but casual relationships , holidays etc .srx is still important even at my age lol !

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By *-SBC 82Man
2 days ago

Ilford

I will have been single for 10 years in April, reasons can be broken down to 3 Categories:

1) Women I want, don't want me.

2) Women who want me, I don't want.

3) Not really putting the effort in to find someone.

Dating is really shit now, especially when you're in your 40's, it is akin to sifting through a landfill looking for something that isn't broken or disgusting. I've been used, cheated on and lied to, I can't really be bothered with it anymore.

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By *esYesOMGYes!Man
2 days ago

M20

"I will have been single for 10 years in April, reasons can be broken down to 3 Categories:

1) Women I want, don't want me.

2) Women who want me, I don't want.

3) Not really putting the effort in to find someone.

“Sifting through landfill looking for something that isn’t broken… damn, you nailed middle aged dating

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By *haveanicevoiceMan
2 days ago

Soggy Middle-Earth (Cumbria)

Never married/no kids and live with parents at 38 so I'm almost aged out anyway by this point people expect an accomplished person. Fed up with the internet and UK when they cog it tempted to bugger off to a warm country and just chill with locals in the sun and drink rum oversharing x1000.

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By *TinyDelight-Woman
2 days ago

City Centre

I've a history of avoiding attachment. I think I'd feel quite panicked about getting into a serious relationship. I do a lot by myself and I'm very independent.

I enjoy friendships and relationships that I've built and I have no problem with feelings or intimacy. Connections with those I'm close to are special. I just don't want that whole nesting thing and being solely with one person at the moment.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
2 days ago

Delightful Bliss

Because I'm happily selfish. I've created my world around me, over 10 years and there is no room to incorporate anothers.

I'm happily doing the boyfriend/girlfriend experience at the weekends away from my home, with my fwb's. That satisfies my need for emotional intimacy

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By *ags73Man
2 days ago

glasgow-ish

It’s been too long and I’d be scared i’d get things wrong.

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By *929Man
2 days ago

bedlington

I’d love to have a successful long term relationship but after devoting 15 years of my life to someone only for it to fail I’m admittedly scared of that happening again wasting so many years of life when it’s short enough as it is

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By *sWyldWoman
2 days ago

Edinburgh

All of the above and the fact I'm enjoying not having to consider other people as much as I used to.

Sadly I'm also now pretty sure what I actually want doesn't exist for me. Despite all my romantic hopes and dreams.

I've so much to give and it's taken me a very long time to see that, they would need to now have as much to give me. Emotionally, physically and in time and effort.

That might sound big headed or unrealistic but I'm just done being taken advantage of and having my heart broken.

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By *esYesOMGYes!Man
2 days ago

M20

Its easier to meet more open and honest people here than on any of the vanilla dating sites. I quit using them years ago. It was fun telling a date what I got up to here when it came up in conversation. She finished her drink quick and sadly left looking pale. I’d not even gone in to any details.

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By *aybeLadyWoman
2 days ago

West Dublin

"My reason may sound a bit weird.

I had cancer and as it has been in my lymph nodes it may return in the future. So I made the decision to stay on my own now so as not to hurt anyone should it return.

But I still love male company and fun so that is why I come back here.

Fab is great for getting what I need and desire without any emotional connection "

Not weird. Im in the same boat but my cancer isnt curable.

Kind of makes me undateable and I know its a massive ask to 'take me on'.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
2 days ago

Central

Life is very satisfying being single, I'm not feeling I'm missing out on anything nor closed to a relationship. I'd probably get used to sharing my large bed but hate it in a heatwave

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By *apio51Man
2 days ago

Edinburgh ish

Easy one.

I have my own way of doing things, my own rule set. I like things a certain way.

To be honest it’s a legacy of my 20+ year relationship that much of what I do now is what I did then. Either way, I know that if I decide to share my life with someone else, I will need to change much of what I do now and accommodate what they do to maintain harmony. I’m not willing to do that.

I do miss deep conversations and having a rock to lean on when I’m having a bad day though.

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By *vonne5exMan
2 days ago

Doncaster

I don't want to share my Jaffa cakes but I miss someone to put the kettle on.

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By *ellroseWoman
2 days ago

Brum

I’m too set in my ways now, plus too many narcissists out there

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By *xstaceyxxTV/TS
2 days ago

longeaton,

I'm bi sexual, so won't have another relationship.

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By *oyuer99Man
2 days ago

PRESTON

I lost my long term love to dementia, life goes on.

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By *edbiker6Man
2 days ago

Scarborough

All ov the above and losing half my properties and businesses I built up my self lol

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By *dz69247Man
2 days ago

Manchester

Been married, in quite a sexless marriage. Now separated (soon to be divorced), I never want to be in that situation again.

I’m loving being single and enjoying this lifestyle, the freedom to have sex whenever I want with who ever I want (presuming they want sex with me lol) is liberating.

If I was to find a partner again I would still want to be involved in this lifestyle, which is quite difficult, so am very happy to be single

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By *ndy man 61Man
2 days ago

Chichester

i recently came out of a relationship coz i felt it wasn't going anywhere problem being i feel in love with her and it's the getting over her bit i'm finding difficult

i'm still in contact with her purely coz i can't move on from her

all that said i'm enjoying the time i have to myself.

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By *ongAndThick123Man
2 days ago

Leeds

Newly single after over a decade. I don’t think i want to be in a relationship for a while.

I’ve clicked with a few people in the last few months, and it’s instantly made me put the breaks on. It’s time to have less responsibility for a while.

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By *rX2024123Man
2 days ago

rotherfield

"All ov the above and losing half my properties and businesses I built up my self lol "

I spent my whole adult life working & making money from properties I lived in, ended up with a lovely house - which my ex then took from me in a divorce, after it was her affair that caused it. Two young kids involved so courts just hand them your whole life - hard to find the trust now but I keep searching.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
2 days ago

Den of Iniquity

I'm not against one someday but atm I'm still enjoying single life ..

And also because I need to sort my shit out on my own before I'm any use to anyone

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By *jonesMan
2 days ago

Plymouth

Nothing puts me off another relationship , I'm stuck between cups of coffee with ladies off bumble, and the challenge of a finding an adventurous woman who I fancy the pants off, we make each other laugh, and is up for friendship , look out for each other , holidays , dancing and general hedonism ..

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
2 days ago

BRIDPORT

It depends what your definition of a relationship is as to whether I would wish to be in one.

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By *jonesMan
2 days ago

Plymouth

"It depends what your definition of a relationship is as to whether I would wish to be in one. "

Definitely

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By *lenderfoxMan
2 days ago

Leeds

Nothing puts me off, i'm just pretty selective and comfortable enough to not settle for less than what i'd want from one

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By *essaMayWoman
2 days ago

Fairytale Wood

Me now after a string of disastrous relationships and the best relationship I had i messed up. Me and relationships don't work and more worrying seems to rub off on others.

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By *jonesMan
2 days ago

Plymouth

"Me now after a string of disastrous relationships and the best relationship I had i messed up. Me and relationships don't work and more worrying seems to rub off on others."

Finding this world and myself evolving over time and a few stumbles along the way .. has made me really think about relationships and what I want and can give.

I definitely wouldn't want to go into a vanilla monogamous co habitating relationship again ..

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By *issBellaWoman
2 days ago

Wales

I just think there's no point. Why commit your time and headspace to someone who will likely

Turn out to be a selfish prick, who honestly couldn't care less or have their head turned by someone better, or both 🤷‍♀️

I'd rather be on my own

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By *ubMissNorfolk89Woman
2 days ago

Downham Market

Honestly, it’s a mix of things. I do like my own space – there’s something comforting about being able to spread out in bed and not worrying about someone stealing the duvet! But it’s more than that.

I’ve been hurt before, and while I wouldn’t say I’m scared of it, I’m definitely more cautious now. I’ve built a life I’m happy with, and I’d hate for someone to come along and mess that up unless they’re really worth it.

For me, it’s about finding the right person who fits into my life without making me feel like I have to sacrifice who I am. Until then, I’m happy as I am – but I wouldn’t say no to the right connection.

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By *ourtney CocksWoman
2 days ago

Cardiff

I can’t trust myself I’d probably pick another dickhead so no thanks

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By *issBellaWoman
2 days ago

Wales

"I can’t trust myself I’d probably pick another dickhead so no thanks "

In a nutshell

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By *otts-manMan
2 days ago

Long Eaton

Left my ex wife because she turned into a narcissist control freak, and my current partner is unmasking as something similar....

So when I'm single again, I'm going to be very cautious about falling in to another controlling relationship....

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By *ansexualPandaMan
2 days ago

cumallover

Finding someone who's into the lifestyle and can accept that I will never be "faithful" when it comes to sex. I've had partners who say they are ok with it but it usually becomes an issue after a couple of years.

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
2 days ago

Wolverhampton

"Finding someone who's into the lifestyle and can accept that I will never be "faithful" when it comes to sex. I've had partners who say they are ok with it but it usually becomes an issue after a couple of years."

A LOT of people really confuse 'sexual exclusivity' with 'commitment'. They ain't the same thing! Sure you *can* require both in a relationship, but you don't *have to*, and they're not actually mutually exclusive.

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By *ularliWoman
2 days ago

Worcester

"My reason may sound a bit weird.

I had cancer and as it has been in my lymph nodes it may return in the future. So I made the decision to stay on my own now so as not to hurt anyone should it return.

But I still love male company and fun so that is why I come back here.

Fab is great for getting what I need and desire without any emotional connection

Not weird. Im in the same boat but my cancer isnt curable.

Kind of makes me undateable and I know its a massive ask to 'take me on'. "

It really is a shit place to be.

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By *aldBeardy36Man
2 days ago

Manchester

I’m recently divorced, I’m not ready to go into another relationship, whether it’s monogamous or polyamorous. To many things I need to unpack so I’m not going into a relationship with that baggage.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
2 days ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else? "

Pretty much all three answers summed up for me. I’m trying to date since new years. So far I’m realising I am dead inside.

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By *evil-AngelWoman
2 days ago

...

I lost myself in my marriage and didn't realise it until it ended. I'm only just finding myself 5 years later. I'm really worried that it would happen again without me realising so it would take an incredibly special guy for me to take that risk.

I also have teenagers who have an on/off relationship with their dad so need a constant in their life. I couldn't give 100% to them and a new relationship.

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By *erkshire8299Man
2 days ago

slough

I like my own space , but some sort of regular relationship would be nice...once it twice a week or once a fortnight even ...evening work messes things up a bit fir me...

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By *ags73Man
2 days ago

glasgow-ish

"Is it because you like your own space sleeping?

Is it because you're scared of getting hurt?

Or because you're happy as you are and don't want someone to screw that up?

Something else?

Pretty much all three answers summed up for me. I’m trying to date since new years. So far I’m realising I am dead inside. "

Space. I wouldn’t sacrifice. Can see someone and not live together.

Sleeping. Get used to it on own, but like space can see someone and not be sleeping together 7 nights sort of thing

Happy or used to being as I am I dunno.

I dunno on dead inside myself, some days I feel like that, other days I know I have to live and keep going and if that’s without someone else that’s okay too.

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By *edSirenWoman
2 days ago

Leighton Buzzard

The right person just hasn’t come along yet. And it’s definitely harder to find anyone compatible the older you get! I want someone who can match me on all levels - intellectually, psychologically, sexually and emotionally. And they need to accept me for 100% of who I am (as I would them). I don’t feel the need to settle for anything less than that for no reason than a label.

I think younger me might have felt more pressure to. But at some point I took a step back, realised I’m actually happy on my own, don’t need anyone to complete me, and just accepted it might not happen again.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times I miss the little things - couch cuddles, watching shit tv and talking crap etc. and it would be nice to have someone to share life with. But to me that’s a bonus in life if achieved, it’s not a necessity.

Find me the elusive ‘one’ (or multiples?) and I’ll maybe reconsider! 😉

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By *enXdadbodMan
2 days ago

North Manchester

I only became single age 46 i was in one relationship since being 18 so i intend to live a little now!

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By *onkeynutWoman
2 days ago

somewhere

I’m not totally closed off to it, but I struggle to let people in and so that makes it difficult to form a romantic connection.

I also like doing what I want when I want and not having to factor in someone else.

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By *apio51Man
2 days ago

Edinburgh ish

But it is the societal norm to expect both is what he is trying to say. I would say it is probably very difficult to find a partner “into” it off the bat. I suspect most couples on here got into it after a certain amount of time in an exclusive relationship.

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
2 days ago

Wolverhampton

And i think you're missing my point. You can paraphrase most of this thread in to "I'd maybe like a partner, except for I don't want all the traditional stuff because *insert reason here*, so I'll stay single".

My point is, nobody is forcing you to do the traditional stuff. You can define your own relationship/s, and seek out (and find!) others whose values align with yours. We're not each as unique as we might like to think, and there are plenty of people out there prepared to have a loving, committed, romantic relationship that doesn't look like the standard meet-mortgage-marriage-mortality setup.

I'm just saying there's options, it's not one set way vs nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️

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By *urvySub87Woman
2 days ago

Near Wellingborough

No one wants me. I'm good enough for sex but they don't want to date me. I'd love to be taken out and treated like a queen. I try dating but it never goes well. I always get the weirdos.

The dates that do go well where I get my hopes up end up ghosting me.

I haven't dated in 3 years now, not since before I did my ivf. Now it's nearly impossible to date with a 2 year old child. Guys don't seem to like the fact that my son is my number 1 priority.

I hate online dating. Getting called ugly and fat. Being stood up. I think I'm just going to be single forever and have to live with it.

Ah well, bring on the sex

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By *ndyraeMan
2 days ago

Glasgow City Centre

"No one wants me. I'm good enough for sex but they don't want to date me. I'd love to be taken out and treated like a queen. I try dating but it never goes well. I always get the weirdos.

The dates that do go well where I get my hopes up end up ghosting me.

I haven't dated in 3 years now, not since before I did my ivf. Now it's nearly impossible to date with a 2 year old child. Guys don't seem to like the fact that my son is my number 1 priority.

I hate online dating. Getting called ugly and fat. Being stood up. I think I'm just going to be single forever and have to live with it.

Ah well, bring on the sex

Hey - I don’t know you but from what I can see, I would 💯 date you. We live very far away so prob not viable but I thought I’d let you know I think you’re hot.

I’ve been divorced for 7 years and had more than my fair share of crap internet dates. Like you, I’m active on here and love the lifestyle. Not sure how you meet a partner that also is into this lifestyle - that would be my dream. I’ not the jealous type (quite the opposite) but very caring and loving. Not sure what I’m doing wrong…but share your pain.

One again - you are hot as fuck and hope you find someone worthy of you as a person and as a fab swinger xx

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By *rLipMan
1 day ago

Chester

Freedom

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By *ucka39Man
1 day ago

Newcastle

All 3 but not in that order unless she steals the duvet cover 😂

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By *ojanMan
1 day ago

Bedford

Isn’t it better to say from the beginning exactly how you feel whether its nsa or anything else and just go with the flow take each day as it comes that way there’s no heartache surely

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By *moothdickMan
1 day ago

stoke

The games .. fuck that !!!

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By *atinaChica54Woman
1 day ago

Marlborough

Happy as I am & don't want someone to screw that up, thank you

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By *rettyflamingoWoman
1 day ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

I still have hope that he’s out there somewhere

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By *haiababeWoman
1 day ago

North devon

Because i realise that i dont need anyone to look after me and i dont want to look after anyone else (except my kids), my kids dont need a step dad. And i want to spend my spare time exactly how I want.

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By *urora1912Woman
1 day ago

Norfolk East anglia

I dont trust the majority of men not to be telling lies

On dating apps they tell you what you want to hear in a hope of a quick fuck

I like my space, can do what I like with my time

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
1 day ago

Mottram St Andrew

I think it's quite interesting that this post has 130 replies whereas the post asking for reasons FOR a relationship only has 39 replies.

Numbers correct at time of publishing.

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By *attering_ramMan
1 day ago

near you

All of em

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rd OP Woman
1 day ago

Wales

"I think it's quite interesting that this post has 130 replies whereas the post asking for reasons FOR a relationship only has 39 replies.

Numbers correct at time of publishing."

Yes I thought that too.

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By *octor ProdMan
1 day ago

working Overseas

My selfishness and the fact that I enjoy being able to do what I want and when I want. Having been married 3 times (along with other failed relationships), I took a belated look at what went wrong and that is the cause

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By *hesblokeMan
1 day ago

Derbyshire village

I'm not, but if I were ever to start over, the person would have to have such exacting attitudes to life that I don't believe I'd ever find someone (who thought I was worth it anyway!)

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By *just.meMan
1 day ago

hartlepool

Fear of rejection

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