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What's the weirdest thing you've fucked?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
28 weeks ago

For any given definition of fucked.

If you've fucked me that can't be your answer.

For me, it's probably one of those eggs from Japan. Incredibly weird, but I suppose at least it's designed to be fucked.

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By *enk15Man
28 weeks ago

Evesham

I’m weird, I fuck myself… so I guess it’s me.

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By *mizhereMan
28 weeks ago

Thame area

My ex Mrs

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By *ellhungvweMan
28 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I have only fucked wives and they all seemed normal. (It’s normal for a wife to want to make their hubby watch right?)

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By *ou only live onceMan
28 weeks ago

London

The 4th hole.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
28 weeks ago

Telling definition of "thing" there lads.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

A tin of Spam

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By *aitonelMan
28 weeks ago

Liverpool

Raven!

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By *tr8MrEMan
28 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

Ex wife!

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By *ohn n jodieMan
28 weeks ago

warrington

When I was in my teens my pillow ! Needs mustat that age

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

I wouldn’t like to mention names.

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By *a1970Man
28 weeks ago

East cork

No no no please don't do this...

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

Anyone made a clone a Willy kit ? That’s a weird feeling

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By *aitonelMan
28 weeks ago

Liverpool


"I wouldn’t like to mention names. "

Thank you!

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By *rNightMan
28 weeks ago

Coventry

In a hotel stay I noticed my double bed was actually two single mattresses pushed together. My curiosity got the better of me, it actually felt great. I had a very fun night

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

A handful of sandwich ham.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
28 weeks ago

Central


"Anyone made a clone a Willy kit ? That’s a weird feeling "

Wouldn't you keep your cock still, whilst it's making a mold of it, rather than fuck the kit?

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago


"Anyone made a clone a Willy kit ? That’s a weird feeling

Wouldn't you keep your cock still, whilst it's making a mold of it, rather than fuck the kit?"

. Yes but sliding into cold wet moulding material

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By *entlemanrogueMan
28 weeks ago

Motherwell


"The 4th hole.

"

hahaha quality

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By *parkle1974Woman
28 weeks ago

Leeds

My ex

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By *ools and the brainCouple
28 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Your mum

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
28 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Just checking to see if I've been mentioned

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
28 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

My chances.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
28 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh


"My chances. "

I've done that so many times it's almost like a habit 🤣

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By *urious130Man
28 weeks ago

Bolton

Gap between the stones in a dry stone wall....there's others but there even wierder

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By *agneto.Man
28 weeks ago

Bham

Not fair to call her a thing, she has a name you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

When me and my girlfriend drink we like to use the bottle of whatever we've d*unk on each other

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By *ags73Man
28 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"My chances. "

Me too .

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By *ruceyyMan
28 weeks ago

London

Kai

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring..

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By *aitonelMan
28 weeks ago

Liverpool


"Kai"

It's true

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By *he hamMan
28 weeks ago

dublin

[Removed by poster at 30/12/24 01:21:50]

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By *eardysingsMan
28 weeks ago

Sandhurst and York


"Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring.."

I mean… inanimate objects are all good.

If it’s like, a Hamster or something - maybe don’t mention that…

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago


"Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring..

I mean… inanimate objects are all good.

If it’s like, a Hamster or something - maybe don’t mention that…"

🤣 Oh definitely only inanimate objects!

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By *eardysingsMan
28 weeks ago

Sandhurst and York


"Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring..

I mean… inanimate objects are all good.

If it’s like, a Hamster or something - maybe don’t mention that…

🤣 Oh definitely only inanimate objects!

"

Maybe we should guess….

I’ll start with:

- gearstick

- the knob on the end of the bed

- a deodorant can

- a hairbrush

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By *uke OzadeMan
28 weeks ago

Ho Chi Minge City


"Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring..

I mean… inanimate objects are all good.

If it’s like, a Hamster or something - maybe don’t mention that…

🤣 Oh definitely only inanimate objects!

"

In Suffolk anything is fair game!

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By *C79Man
28 weeks ago

Caterham


"Anyone made a clone a Willy kit ? That’s a weird feeling "

What are the chances! I just did the mould today. I was focusing so much on staying hard (it's so unsexy) that I didn't notice the sensation of the mixture!

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago


"Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring..

I mean… inanimate objects are all good.

If it’s like, a Hamster or something - maybe don’t mention that…

🤣 Oh definitely only inanimate objects!

Maybe we should guess….

I’ll start with:

- gearstick

- the knob on the end of the bed

- a deodorant can

- a hairbrush"

You actually guessed two of them correctly! Deodorant can and a hair brush 🤣

The deodorant can wasn't very fun, I stupidly didn't take the lid off and it got stuck, spent an hour trying to get it out 🙈

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By *eardysingsMan
28 weeks ago

Sandhurst and York


"Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring..

I mean… inanimate objects are all good.

If it’s like, a Hamster or something - maybe don’t mention that…

🤣 Oh definitely only inanimate objects!

In Suffolk anything is fair game! "

In which case I’m moving to Suffolk

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago


"Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring..

I mean… inanimate objects are all good.

If it’s like, a Hamster or something - maybe don’t mention that…

🤣 Oh definitely only inanimate objects!

In Suffolk anything is fair game! "

I'd like to deny that, but.. I can't 🙈

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By *eardysingsMan
28 weeks ago

Sandhurst and York


"Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring..

I mean… inanimate objects are all good.

If it’s like, a Hamster or something - maybe don’t mention that…

🤣 Oh definitely only inanimate objects!

Maybe we should guess….

I’ll start with:

- gearstick

- the knob on the end of the bed

- a deodorant can

- a hairbrush

You actually guessed two of them correctly! Deodorant can and a hair brush 🤣

The deodorant can wasn't very fun, I stupidly didn't take the lid off and it got stuck, spent an hour trying to get it out 🙈"

Well you wouldn’t want to fuck the nozzle, would ya?

To be honest - deodorant and a hairbrush are pretty common I think. And electric toothbrushes too, I think?

I’d have been more impressed if you said you fucked the gear shifter though - I’ve had repetitive dreams about this 😂

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago


"Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring..

I mean… inanimate objects are all good.

If it’s like, a Hamster or something - maybe don’t mention that…

🤣 Oh definitely only inanimate objects!

Maybe we should guess….

I’ll start with:

- gearstick

- the knob on the end of the bed

- a deodorant can

- a hairbrush

You actually guessed two of them correctly! Deodorant can and a hair brush 🤣

The deodorant can wasn't very fun, I stupidly didn't take the lid off and it got stuck, spent an hour trying to get it out 🙈

Well you wouldn’t want to fuck the nozzle, would ya?

To be honest - deodorant and a hairbrush are pretty common I think. And electric toothbrushes too, I think?

I’d have been more impressed if you said you fucked the gear shifter though - I’ve had repetitive dreams about this 😂"

Freezer burn comes to mind 😬

I suppose so! I once used one of those chunky felt tip pens 🤣

Wet dreams? Or nightmares? 👀

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By *eardysingsMan
28 weeks ago

Sandhurst and York

If it was one of those normal crayola pens - we could have some fun.

If it was more like the size of, you know, a deodorant can….. maybe I’d be scared….

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By *eardysingsMan
28 weeks ago

Sandhurst and York


"If it was one of those normal crayola pens - we could have some fun.

If it was more like the size of, you know, a deodorant can….. maybe I’d be scared…. "

And I’m not even going there with the freezer burn

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago


"If it was one of those normal crayola pens - we could have some fun.

If it was more like the size of, you know, a deodorant can….. maybe I’d be scared….

And I’m not even going there with the freezer burn "

I believe it was! 😝

That would be pretty scary! But you can get the smaller travel sized cans 👀

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By *eardysingsMan
28 weeks ago

Sandhurst and York


"If it was one of those normal crayola pens - we could have some fun.

If it was more like the size of, you know, a deodorant can….. maybe I’d be scared….

And I’m not even going there with the freezer burn

I believe it was! 😝

That would be pretty scary! But you can get the smaller travel sized cans 👀"

Pahahahahaha - you froze your flaps nd got a travel sized deodorant cap stuck up there, in one sitting?

Outstanding behaviour! 😂

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago


"If it was one of those normal crayola pens - we could have some fun.

If it was more like the size of, you know, a deodorant can….. maybe I’d be scared….

And I’m not even going there with the freezer burn

I believe it was! 😝

That would be pretty scary! But you can get the smaller travel sized cans 👀

Pahahahahaha - you froze your flaps nd got a travel sized deodorant cap stuck up there, in one sitting?

Outstanding behaviour! 😂"

It was not a good day! 😭

Safe to say that it will not be happening again 🤣

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By *eardysingsMan
28 weeks ago

Sandhurst and York

At least not until you get stuck in an airport with a plan delay and just your hand luggage, anyway…

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By *arren and AliciaCouple
28 weeks ago

Glasgow

an ice Lolly

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By *MGuyMan
28 weeks ago

clacton

Thats hot In the summer i hope

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By *pontaneous_coupleCouple
28 weeks ago

Hoddesdon


"an ice Lolly "
we’ve done this but you should try a glass dildo you can put in the freezer

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By *arren and AliciaCouple
28 weeks ago

Glasgow

have one already too risky putting it in the freezer tho

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By *pontaneous_coupleCouple
28 weeks ago

Hoddesdon


"have one already too risky putting it in the freezer tho "
that’s a shame, Ice lolly it is then, I struggle to handle the intensity lol x

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By *elenaSCDTV/TS
28 weeks ago

Mendip

Mars Bar, had a Marriane Faithful moment!

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

Myself over. Many times

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By *otnew16Man
28 weeks ago

Dartford

An ex mother in law!

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By *toatMan
28 weeks ago

grangemouth

Staff toilet at work with office manager i miss that job

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By *stoppMan
28 weeks ago

Durham

Gap between mattress and bed frame at a premier inn.

Cardboard tube in kitchen paper towel roll

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By *urious130Man
28 weeks ago

Bolton


"Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring..

I mean… inanimate objects are all good.

If it’s like, a Hamster or something - maybe don’t mention that…

🤣 Oh definitely only inanimate objects!

Maybe we should guess….

I’ll start with:

- gearstick YES

- the knob on the end of the bed

YES

- a deodorant can YES

- a hairbrush"

NO

Drinks flask in bushes at the golf course

Driver ...Callaway for those who know

Set of ring spanners

Various 1 Ltr bottles. Plastic of course

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By *xhibitionist500Man
28 weeks ago

chester le street

Put my cock in the exhaust of my motorbike [not running and cold]

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By *ildTimes.Man
28 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

Regrets ... I have a few...😂

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By *ools and the brainCouple
28 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

This thread

Either there's lot's of tongue in cheek replies or y'all need help.

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By *avexxMan
28 weeks ago

cheshire


"This thread

Either there's lot's of tongue in cheek replies or y'all need help."

,, i think they need help

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

My fleshlight. Not as good as the real thing though xx

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

The ex wife 😂

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By *aughtyPumpkinWoman
28 weeks ago

Not Far From Doncaster

Hubby used a courgette on me once. I have to say I think it was more for his enjoyment than mine

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By *agneto.Man
28 weeks ago

Bham

Helping you get your 5 a day.

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By *eordieJeansCouple
28 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

A Mackem.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

A Bumpussy

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By *ositiveVibesWoman
28 weeks ago

here there and everywhere

A double lolly… guy I was with had an urge to put it up there and watch me suck on it after… 🤷🏻‍♀️😏

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By *a LunaWoman
28 weeks ago

o o OO o o


"For any given definition of fucked.

If you've fucked me that can't be your answer.

For me, it's probably one of those eggs from Japan. Incredibly weird, but I suppose at least it's designed to be fucked."

I had visions of you shagging an Emu’s egg or something. Then it dawned on me the “egg” was a sex toy? Right?

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By *eardysingsMan
28 weeks ago

Sandhurst and York


"For any given definition of fucked.

If you've fucked me that can't be your answer.

For me, it's probably one of those eggs from Japan. Incredibly weird, but I suppose at least it's designed to be fucked.

I had visions of you shagging an Emu’s egg or something. Then it dawned on me the “egg” was a sex toy? Right?"

How do you think Rod Hull died?

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
28 weeks ago

A den in the Glen


"For any given definition of fucked.

If you've fucked me that can't be your answer.

For me, it's probably one of those eggs from Japan. Incredibly weird, but I suppose at least it's designed to be fucked.

I had visions of you shagging an Emu’s egg or something. Then it dawned on me the “egg” was a sex toy? Right?

How do you think Rod Hull died? "

I was fucking him on a roof one day... suddenly got vinegar stroke and he fucked off somewhere.

Never heard from him since. Cunt.

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By *eardysingsMan
28 weeks ago

Sandhurst and York


"For any given definition of fucked.

If you've fucked me that can't be your answer.

For me, it's probably one of those eggs from Japan. Incredibly weird, but I suppose at least it's designed to be fucked.

I had visions of you shagging an Emu’s egg or something. Then it dawned on me the “egg” was a sex toy? Right?

How do you think Rod Hull died?

I was fucking him on a roof one day... suddenly got vinegar stroke and he fucked off somewhere.

Never heard from him since. Cunt."

He always had his hand in other birds anyway - you didn’t lose too much….

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By *he Silver FuxMan
28 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

She knows who she is

Fantastic sex though

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
28 weeks ago


"For any given definition of fucked.

If you've fucked me that can't be your answer.

For me, it's probably one of those eggs from Japan. Incredibly weird, but I suppose at least it's designed to be fucked.

I had visions of you shagging an Emu’s egg or something. Then it dawned on me the “egg” was a sex toy? Right?"

A "Tenga Egg".

I hope it was a sex toy.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
28 weeks ago

Uttoxeter


"Put my cock in the exhaust of my motorbike [not running and cold]"

Coward 😂

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
28 weeks ago

SW Scotland

Tentacle toy

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
28 weeks ago

A den in the Glen


"For any given definition of fucked.

If you've fucked me that can't be your answer.

For me, it's probably one of those eggs from Japan. Incredibly weird, but I suppose at least it's designed to be fucked.

I had visions of you shagging an Emu’s egg or something. Then it dawned on me the “egg” was a sex toy? Right?

How do you think Rod Hull died?

I was fucking him on a roof one day... suddenly got vinegar stroke and he fucked off somewhere.

Never heard from him since. Cunt.

He always had his hand in other birds anyway - you didn’t lose too much…. "

We actually had Emu with us. He was. So tender. Can't believe he ghosted me too. Both fucked off together. I went back in the house to wait for them but they never showed. They need a new TV too. Fucking thing didn't work.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

Myself 💁🏻‍♀️

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By *ilverjagMan
28 weeks ago

swansea

No me, but I do know a guy who reckons that he had the ultimate sexual satisfaction when he was working in a bakery by fucking a hot loaf every morning!

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
28 weeks ago

A den in the Glen


"No me, but I do know a guy who reckons that he had the ultimate sexual satisfaction when he was working in a bakery by fucking a hot loaf every morning!"

By 'no me' I presume it is you?

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By *ilverjagMan
28 weeks ago

swansea


"No me, but I do know a guy who reckons that he had the ultimate sexual satisfaction when he was working in a bakery by fucking a hot loaf every morning!

By 'no me' I presume it is you?"

It's wasn't me,but one of the boys

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

My wife lol

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
28 weeks ago

Central


"No me, but I do know a guy who reckons that he had the ultimate sexual satisfaction when he was working in a bakery by fucking a hot loaf every morning!"

Surprised he didn't lose his skin

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By *ilentrunningMan
28 weeks ago

Cardiff/Reading/Liverpool &more

A custard doughnut

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By *h3rry Bomb80Man
28 weeks ago

from mars

Life 😀

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
28 weeks ago


"No me, but I do know a guy who reckons that he had the ultimate sexual satisfaction when he was working in a bakery by fucking a hot loaf every morning!"

I'm gonna start baking my own bread

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
28 weeks ago


"No me, but I do know a guy who reckons that he had the ultimate sexual satisfaction when he was working in a bakery by fucking a hot loaf every morning!

I'm gonna start baking my own bread"

TO EAT NOT TO FUCK

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By *iara888Man
28 weeks ago

ollerton

My left hand man I looked special doing it (Broke my right hand)

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By *enk15Man
28 weeks ago

Evesham


"No me, but I do know a guy who reckons that he had the ultimate sexual satisfaction when he was working in a bakery by fucking a hot loaf every morning!

I'm gonna start baking my own bread

TO EAT NOT TO FUCK"

Just do both 🤷‍♂️ once you’ve finished, breakfast is ready

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By *otlips322020Woman
28 weeks ago

Liverpool

My silicone doll

Now I want the male one to bounce up and down on as I chew on cock

X

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By *ffervescentMan
28 weeks ago

winfrith

I've never fucked a thing .

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By *edbath 5Man
28 weeks ago

london

My wife. She goes from never wants to stick her on a naturist beach or get her very d*unk and she squirts for England then won’t talk about it in the morning.

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By *exy SebMan
28 weeks ago

Bath

Two bits of liver in a jam jar

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By *im le2Man
28 weeks ago

AYLESTONE

When out shopping I always look for things I can try. I have a cupboard full of useless junk with only one purpose.

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By *riendlyStarMan
28 weeks ago

Portsmouth


"Not really sure if I should risk saying mine I was young and exploring.."

Very keen to hear

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By *riendlyStarMan
28 weeks ago

Portsmouth


"A double lolly… guy I was with had an urge to put it up there and watch me suck on it after… 🤷🏻‍♀️😏"

This is sexy!!! What was your take on it

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By *rD5Man
28 weeks ago

Gloucester


"I have only fucked wives and they all seemed normal. (It’s normal for a wife to want to make their hubby watch right?)"

Oh how I’d love my wife to make me watch you fuck her!!!!

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By *ugarbearCouple
28 weeks ago

Tredegar

A cadbury cream egg

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By *K AndyMan
28 weeks ago

Skipton

I fucked a water Mellon and posted thd video in a group chat.

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By *om and JennieCouple
28 weeks ago

Chams or Socials

Waiting for someone to say warm apple pie

J x

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By *uckurcumMan
28 weeks ago

Bishop Auckland

A melon and it was really horny...great sensation ...

Must do it again thinking about it ..

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By *2000ManMan
28 weeks ago

Worthing

Artifical womans bum.

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By *itginger101Man
28 weeks ago

Termonfeckin

A Mr Kipling bakewell tart when I was d*unk one night lol

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By *avexxMan
28 weeks ago

cheshire

manchester tart

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By *eceivers-of-edenCouple
28 weeks ago

W Yorks

Me? Mandy

- Jon

PS - she's in Germany so won't see this! Hah!

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By *K AndyMan
28 weeks ago

Skipton


"Me? Mandy

- Jon

PS - she's in Germany so won't see this! Hah! "

Looking at your gallery, I'd love to fuck Mandy as well.

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By *ckerman2Man
28 weeks ago

newport/cardiff


"I have only fucked wives and they all seemed normal. (It’s normal for a wife to want to make their hubby watch right?)"

Watch and or film, yes

Similarly it occured to me recently i dont think i've ever fucked anybody who wasnt married, even when i was young it was always older married women....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
28 weeks ago


"manchester tart"

Thing, not person. Jeez.

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By *ThorneMan
28 weeks ago

North East

The ex wife was a homicidal maniac

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By *ust want fun 888Man
28 weeks ago

nearby


"The ex wife was a homicidal maniac "

I don’t know, if this is weird as I put a lot of us fellas when we were young, either between the mattress, or chairs, anywhere really that we could slide our cocks into

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By *gp_sub01Man
28 weeks ago

Manchester (Malaga)

Used to have a femdom gf and she made me fuck her armpit once... Honestly never been so hard in my life!

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By *mf123Man
28 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

A rolled up carpet so i could find out what carpet burns were

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By *icelee9Man
28 weeks ago

manchester

My mate Girlfriends mum ,, 30 years ago lol mucky Old sort she was , made a man of me lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
28 weeks ago


"A rolled up carpet so i could find out what carpet burns were"

What did you learn

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By *mf123Man
28 weeks ago

with one foot out the door


"A rolled up carpet so i could find out what carpet burns were

What did you learn"

it was thick n soft so tickled my winky

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

Rubber doll from my stag weekend. I also turned a defoliant glove inside and fucked - wankes into that

Fucked myself with the handle of a shower wiper

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