FabSwingers.com forum: Cheating in sexless marriage

By *oritos90 OP Man
3 weeks ago

luton travelodge

Cheating in sexless marriage ,

Yes or NO?

-Would you cheat if your wife lost interest in sex?

-Would you break, and leave kids, (not my option) just because sex once a month, and only because I want but not us both? without any vanilla at all, just quick doggy and go..,

-Or any other options?

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By *vaRose43Woman
3 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

I’d talk to them

You have several options, and that’s assuming your marriage wasn’t open from the start.

Open the marriage

Cheat

Leave

Remain sexless

Only you can make that decision OP, but I’ll say posts like this tend to polarise opinions

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Discussion or leave

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By *oritos90 OP Man
3 weeks ago

luton travelodge

discussed, if ''If you dont like, leave''

tbh here just because kids.

but we do not arguing or etc at home.

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"discussed, if ''If you dont like, leave''

tbh here just because kids.

but we do not arguing or etc at home."

If counselling is off the table, then you can stick with what you have and have agreed to, or leave.

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By *i_Blonde_BabeWoman
3 weeks ago

cardiff or just passing through

I’m fortunate enough to have never been in your situation but for what it’s worth, cheating sucks, I’d rather someone talk things through and suggest options than just cheat on me. It may be the kick up the backside they need, they may be completely unaware of your needs or feelings.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

Other suggestions .......

Allow me stand on your wind pipe for a few seconds.....

Then come back and tell me that sex is the most important thing in your life.

More important than your wife

More important than your kids

More important than your marriage etc etc.......

SUGGESTION 2

Reflect a while on your performance. Would you shag you ?

SUGGESTION 3.

Observe your wife for a while...... check if looking after the house , the kids , you etc is FUCKING KNACKERING If she's knackered...... give her a rest

SUGGESTION 4.

Be attractive.

SUGGESTION 5.

Suggest some you and her time. Plan it, cook it , be seductive make sex a great time rather than an opportunity to cum dump.

Just a few things to think about.

What have you got her for Christmas b.t.w ? Oven gloves ? Some Spanners ?

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By *anonfire96Man
3 weeks ago

Mansfield

I was in a sexless marriage for many many years, my wife had Huntingtons, I was her primary carer for many years. To be honest it was such hard work the last thing I could have coped with was something on the side, the guilt for one, but never had any time to stray. But I never really gave it much thought. I married for Better or worse etc and just got on with it. We were together from the age of 15 so maybe that had something to do with it. But definitely having some fun now. Not as much as I'd like, but good things come to those who wait? Hopefully.

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By *entlandscaperMan
3 weeks ago

Tunbridge Wells

I had this problem 3 years ago have boys the 11 and 9 so was hard to leave. Thought I’d loose everything which I did in the end I talk about seeing someone talk about the marriage and stuff her answer was don’t like it go I’m happy you must not be. Ask about if she wanted to see other people she said I don’t even want to see you so what the point in that I said I have needs she said well what do you want me to do about I explain. So now live in share house with mate from my old work and see my kids when ever I want and have them stay on occasion. Not the same as really miss them. In away wish I stay as don’t have much luck find what I was missing from the relationship. We are in talks to get back together but who the fuck knows there she just wants someone to help with the bills and boys which I do anyway. So know how your filling

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 19/12/24 13:07:37]

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By *aughtystaffs60Couple
3 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I think Granny crumpet has probably explained it far more eloquently than most of us can LOL

Good luck.

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By *oritos90 OP Man
3 weeks ago

luton travelodge

SUGGESTION 5.

we cook together, clean house together.

im working on 2 jobs, she part time.

She blaming that im not enough time spend with kids, while she on sofa in front of TV. i want just normal sex, with some of vanila stuff, kissing and etc. at least twice a week, but got only promisses.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

Once a month isn't sexless

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"I was in a sexless marriage for many many years, my wife had Huntingtons, I was her primary carer for many years. To be honest it was such hard work the last thing I could have coped with was something on the side, the guilt for one, but never had any time to stray. But I never really gave it much thought. I married for Better or worse etc and just got on with it. We were together from the age of 15 so maybe that had something to do with it. But definitely having some fun now. Not as much as I'd like, but good things come to those who wait? Hopefully."

You , my friend are FUCKING AMAZING !

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By *weetiepie99Woman
3 weeks ago

cardiff

You've been cheating for 10 years. Do the right thing, talk to her, own it.

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By *weetiepie99Woman
3 weeks ago

cardiff

[Removed by poster at 19/12/24 13:10:41]

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

You need to talk about your issues in the relationship. These sound like more than "just" sex.

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By *inceIlkestonMan
3 weeks ago

Ilkeston

"Cheating in sexless marriage ,

Yes or NO?

-Would you cheat if your wife lost interest in sex?

-Would you break, and leave kids, (not my option) just because sex once a month, and only because I want but not us both? without any vanilla at all, just quick doggy and go..,

-Or any other options?"

I did a couple of times and sex improved that she wanted it more. Problem solved. It was rare to meet my fb as she was far away.

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By *londebiguyMan
3 weeks ago

Southport

"Other suggestions .......

Allow me stand on your wind pipe for a few seconds.....

Then come back and tell me that sex is the most important thing in your life.

More important than your wife

More important than your kids

More important than your marriage etc etc.......

SUGGESTION 2

Reflect a while on your performance. Would you shag you ?

SUGGESTION 3.

Observe your wife for a while...... check if looking after the house , the kids , you etc is FUCKING KNACKERING If she's knackered...... give her a rest

SUGGESTION 4.

Be attractive.

SUGGESTION 5.

Suggest some you and her time. Plan it, cook it , be seductive make sex a great time rather than an opportunity to cum dump.

Just a few things to think about.

What have you got her for Christmas b.t.w ? Oven gloves ? Some Spanners ?

Or, she could be a lazy person.

There is that.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

I do feel for you O.P.

Things are always simple to me. You choose.

If your marriage is based on sex it will crumble no matter what. SO LEAVE

If your marriage is based on love of another , shared values, principles and goals...... fuck the sex AND STAY

Now CHOOSE

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"Other suggestions .......

Allow me stand on your wind pipe for a few seconds.....

Then come back and tell me that sex is the most important thing in your life.

More important than your wife

More important than your kids

More important than your marriage etc etc.......

SUGGESTION 2

Reflect a while on your performance. Would you shag you ?

SUGGESTION 3.

Observe your wife for a while...... check if looking after the house , the kids , you etc is FUCKING KNACKERING If she's knackered...... give her a rest

SUGGESTION 4.

Be attractive.

SUGGESTION 5.

Suggest some you and her time. Plan it, cook it , be seductive make sex a great time rather than an opportunity to cum dump.

Just a few things to think about.

What have you got her for Christmas b.t.w ? Oven gloves ? Some Spanners ?

Or, she could be a lazy person.

There is that."

Too lazy to have sex ?

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By *ellinever70Woman
3 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"I had this problem 3 years ago have boys the 11 and 9 so was hard to leave. Thought I’d loose everything which I did in the end I talk about seeing someone talk about the marriage and stuff her answer was don’t like it go I’m happy you must not be. Ask about if she wanted to see other people she said I don’t even want to see you so what the point in that I said I have needs she said well what do you want me to do about I explain. So now live in share house with mate from my old work and see my kids when ever I want and have them stay on occasion. Not the same as really miss them. In away wish I stay as don’t have much luck find what I was missing from the relationship. We are in talks to get back together but who the fuck knows there she just wants someone to help with the bills and boys which I do anyway. So know how your filling "

There's the evidence that the grass isn't greener

Be careful what you wish for

And other clichés

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By *ornym66Man
3 weeks ago

Col /ips

I'm in a sexless relationship but you stick together sex is not every thing

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

There's the evidence that the grass isn't greener

Be careful what you wish for

And other clichés "

Another man's feet are another man's bison

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By *issmorganWoman
3 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

A sexless relationship is often a symptom that something else isn't right in that partnership.

Could you ask her if she'd let you meet others discreetly?.

If she says no and you don't want to cheat, then your only other option is to leave.

It isn't always for the best that parents stay together only for children, they know and pick up on these things.

I wouldn't cheat, I'd make it clear I didnt want to live without sex for the rest of my life , (that's if the lack of sex wasn't due to an illness that effects them).

Thing is, if she catches you cheating on here, the outcome could well be out of your control op.

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By *unner6969Man
3 weeks ago

Bicester

[Removed by poster at 19/12/24 13:21:50]

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By *unner6969Man
3 weeks ago

Bicester

[Removed by poster at 19/12/24 13:22:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Cheating is wrong and shame on those who do it

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By *oritos90 OP Man
3 weeks ago

luton travelodge

few weeks ago she said she had a dream that we went to swinger club, i was trying to push that idea forwards, but nothing happened

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By *enk15Man
3 weeks ago

Evesham

Sounds like you need relationship counselling rather than asking strangers if cheating is OK.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Sounds like you need relationship counselling rather than asking strangers if cheating is OK."

That would involve both partners changing (and agreeing to it) and often people don't want that. Frequently they want the other person to put the graft in to become how they want them to be

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By *neforutoMan
3 weeks ago

Fantasy land in the SW

Snap, although not Huntingtons. We have an agreement which I follow and that helps a lot. Ive not met anyone from on here but just wanted to say youre not alone in being a primary carer

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
3 weeks ago

"discussed, if ''If you dont like, leave''

tbh here just because kids.

but we do not arguing or etc at home."

If you are honestly only with your partner because of the kids, then leave,they deserve the chance to be with someone that wants them.

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By *unner6969Man
3 weeks ago

Bicester

"Cheating in sexless marriage ,

Yes or NO?

-Would you cheat if your wife lost interest in sex?"

Technically, I wouldn’t consider it ‘cheating’ if the marriage was sexless, providing you were keeping your supplementary activities discreet so as not to hurt your spouse, or disrupt family life. Further caveats would be that you are not doing it at a time when you could be with your spouse, or lying about where you are heading when scheduling a liaison.

Not easy for everyone to tick all those boxes and not everyone will agree with me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

I don't think any of us are in a position to advise complete strangers to leave their marriage.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Cheating in sexless marriage ,

Yes or NO?

-Would you cheat if your wife lost interest in sex?

Not easy for everyone to tick all those boxes and not everyone will agree with me."

If you're not lying about where you're going then it's not cheating because the other person knows. Cheating in my opinion is hiding it.

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By *oritos90 OP Man
3 weeks ago

luton travelodge

exactly, all she is saying one day- dont like- leave.

other day promises that will be often sex

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By *oritos90 OP Man
3 weeks ago

luton travelodge

its not only because kids, still love her,but lack of sex killing it,

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By *oritos90 OP Man
3 weeks ago

luton travelodge

its not advice, just would like to know if someone had it, and what they did

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"its not only because kids, still love her,but lack of sex killing it,"

Have you sat her down and told her how unhappy this makes you?

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
3 weeks ago

Wherever

You’re only telling your side of the story though.

There can be many reasons for why your wife is not interested in sex with you.

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By *oritos90 OP Man
3 weeks ago

luton travelodge

agree to this. will use it when will ask next time about swingers club

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By *enelope2UWoman
3 weeks ago

Fife

[Removed by poster at 19/12/24 13:39:06]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

"agree to this. will use it when will ask next time about swingers club

Use the quote button under the post you're replying to do we know who you're answering

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By *oritos90 OP Man
3 weeks ago

luton travelodge

yes we had a chat. not once.

one day she saying -if you dont like it leave than.

other day promise for often sex

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By *enelope2UWoman
3 weeks ago

Fife

Id leave after communicating that my interests aren't being met and seeing if there was something which I caused, or if there was something i could do to correct it..

but I'm not the average or typical UK female to even deprive a deserving spouse of sex...

Soo...just vent to those not involved and cheat like most do

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By *oritos90 OP Man
3 weeks ago

luton travelodge

"agree to this. will use it when will ask next time about swingers club

Use the quote button under the post you're replying to do we know who you're answering

"
oh ok lol

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By *ornym66Man
3 weeks ago

Col /ips

OP is not making any sense

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By * and R cple4Couple
3 weeks ago

swansea

I would love to know the wifes side of the story and if she knows she's in a sexless marriage.

My friend was in a sexless marriage according to her husband and the one he was cheating with. My friend was 3 months pregnant and thinking her marriage was great.

The fact is some people are just selfish bastards and make up shit to try and justify their selfish behaviour.

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
3 weeks ago

Mottram St Andrew

It's easy to answer without having to follow through. I feel you. I was sexless for 5 years before my divorce (there were lots of other issues and it was my choice to go sexless). I didn't cheat but that's not a badge of honour or judgey brag.

If I had my time again I'd have realised that sex IS important to me and just because one party doesn't want to do it doesn't mean there can't be other ways to achieve a balance that both are happy with.

To pre-empt this with my ex I floated the idea that if either of us lost interest or were unable then would she be open to finding a workaround? We discussed options and she agreed that so long as we respected the other, that the other came first, then (in her case at least) as long as she didn't know or had reason to suspect then she wouldn't mind.

If your other half won't consider other options or isn't willing to find a way you can both be fulfilled, and divorce isn't an option or a choice you want to make then, whilst it may be the least favoured option, it is an option.

I think you know the general answer is to do the right thing. And even when doing the wrong thing, do it the right way.

Flip it the other way and effectively ban her from something she enjoys... So how long she went before she "cheated"... Not long I can tell you.

Only you know you and yours enough to know whether it's important enough to run whatever risk it'll pose.

Good luck...

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"yes we had a chat. not once.

one day she saying -if you dont like it leave than.

other day promise for often sex"

Does she understand that this is an ongoing issue? Do you know why she tells you to leave or isn't able to meet you where you want to be?

You need to keep talking.

I'd worry if someone exhibited such different perspectives day to day. Is she well?

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By *enk15Man
3 weeks ago

Evesham

"its not advice, just would like to know if someone had it, and what they did"

A few years ago now the other half was rarely interested in sex.

The initial thoughts came to mind like she doesn't find me attractive anymore, she must not like the sex, maybe she will never be interested again.

It took an epiphany and some hard communication to discover that it was actually me that was the problem.

She was burnt out and I was not supporting anywhere near as well as I could have been. I was taking her for granted and all round not being very nice.

Now, we are in such an amazing position I can hardly believe how lucky I am. Had I cheated, I could have ruined everything.

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By *illy IdolMan
3 weeks ago

Midlands

"What have you got her for Christmas b.t.w ? Oven gloves ? Some Spanners ?

There's nothing wrong with oven gloves or spanners. Both decent gifts.

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By *oritos90 OP Man
3 weeks ago

luton travelodge

"yes we had a chat. not once.

one day she saying -if you dont like it leave than.

other day promise for often sex

Does she understand that this is an ongoing issue? Do you know why she tells you to leave or isn't able to meet you where you want to be?

You need to keep talking.

I'd worry if someone exhibited such different perspectives day to day. Is she well?"

she understand it. dont know why shechanging it.. mayby chatting with someone , no idea

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"its not advice, just would like to know if someone had it, and what they did

A few years ago now the other half was rarely interested in sex.

The initial thoughts came to mind like she doesn't find me attractive anymore, she must not like the sex, maybe she will never be interested again.

It took an epiphany and some hard communication to discover that it was actually me that was the problem.

She was burnt out and I was not supporting anywhere near as well as I could have been. I was taking her for granted and all round not being very nice.

Now, we are in such an amazing position I can hardly believe how lucky I am. Had I cheated, I could have ruined everything."

I was the opposite side of this equation.

I left.

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"yes we had a chat. not once.

one day she saying -if you dont like it leave than.

other day promise for often sex

Does she understand that this is an ongoing issue? Do you know why she tells you to leave or isn't able to meet you where you want to be?

You need to keep talking.

I'd worry if someone exhibited such different perspectives day to day. Is she well?

she understand it. dont know why shechanging it.. mayby chatting with someone , no idea"

You should find out.

Because you're not getting anywhere with understanding how things the way they are. Without mutual understanding, nothing will change.

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By *ags73Man
3 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

I didn’t when going through that. A lot more things were going on than just my desire for sex and doing the right thing sometimes means taking a hit or making a sacrifice.

That’s going back beyond five years ago and whilst I’m glad I discovered fab a couple of years ago, it wouldn’t have been right answer in the previous situation.

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By *enegadeMMan
3 weeks ago

Oxfordshire

if the rest of the relationship / marriage is good …. Then surely a discussion can be had ?

If you paid for a professional …would she consider that cheating for services rendered

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"What have you got her for Christmas b.t.w ? Oven gloves ? Some Spanners ?

There's nothing wrong with oven gloves or spanners. Both decent gifts."

They certainly are both decent gifts Willy .... I got you silicon ones...... pink with daisies on

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
3 weeks ago

Essex

If OP’s veri is genuine it seems his question is a rather moot point — So, why ask this question of strangers after having already cheated, if not to either ease a conscience I doubt he has by garnering support for his actions; Or, raise his profile views in hope of another slice of that sweet American pie?

—personally, I find the OP entirely disingenuous and so don’t give a hoot what they do next but I’m certainly not going to help.

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By *aitonelMan
3 weeks ago

Away for Christmas

I get it, I understand the thought process and I empathise with it. For some it will be an easy decision with zero remorse. For others they will be tortured by having to pick one or the other.

However, dress it up however you want, do what "you" feel "you" need to do but at the end of it all it is cheating.

Depending on the context in a sexless marriage I'd say cheating is the cowards way out instead of talking through it. It takes away the responsibility of having to directly deal with the issue. If you get caught, problem solved. If you continue to not get caught, doesn't matter had sex!

I don't like cheating, I don't condone it, but I get it.

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By *layfulGentMan
3 weeks ago

Doncaster South Yorkshire

Myself and the ex now divorced just drifted apart, menopause may have been the start of it and never regained any of a feeling for each other after it for a while so separated on good terms and now divorced so we can both move on

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Stockport

"What have you got her for Christmas b.t.w ? Oven gloves ? Some Spanners ?

There's nothing wrong with oven gloves or spanners. Both decent gifts.

They certainly are both decent gifts Willy .... I got you silicon ones...... pink with daisies on "

Silicone spanners? Nice with daisies though 😁

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By *lowercandyWoman
3 weeks ago

Lancashire

"its not only because kids, still love her,but lack of sex killing it,"

If you still love her then surely the first thing is to try counselling

That way you both calmly get to explain

How no sex makes you sad/diminishes your feelings

And she can explain what she is struggling with and why things have changed etc

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By *rLothbrokMan
3 weeks ago

Lancs

"Cheating in sexless marriage ,

Yes or NO?

-Would you cheat if your wife lost interest in sex?

-Would you break, and leave kids, (not my option) just because sex once a month, and only because I want but not us both? without any vanilla at all, just quick doggy and go..,

-Or any other options?"

Before thinking of any of this, I think it would be best to evaluate why the once monthly doesn’t work for you. What makes sex important? Is it sex in general or specifically sex with your wife?

For me, it’s the physical connection with a significant partner that elevates the relationship and feelings involved. When in a relationship I’ve come to develop an understanding for compromise, as not everyone has the same inhibitions for carnal worship.

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By *ittleBoPeepingWoman
3 weeks ago

Galway, Clare

If you're not happy in your relationship, don't be so naive to think your kids can't tell - of course they can.

You've been here for 10yrs so if you've been that pissed off all that time, you must know it will affect your kids.

And stop blaming it all on your partner, a relationship doesn't fail because of one person.

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By *parkle1974Woman
3 weeks ago

Leeds

At the end of the day....if you are lying to your partner and having sex with others behind their back....yes it's cheating.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
3 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

This old chestnut.

Along with all the other repetitive threads on here people who try to justify cheating by blaming it on a sexless marriage is becoming one of the most popular repeats.

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By *rmrsp999Couple
3 weeks ago

glasgowish

You , my friend are FUCKING AMAZING !

I have to agree, can't imagine how difficult it is to watch a loved one going through something like that, fair play tonyou my man

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By *antasdeerideMan
3 weeks ago

winfrith

It doesn't really matter what you do because ultimately you lose ,if you cheat and get caught you lose if you stay and don't have sex you lose ,if you leave you lose ,so I guess you just have to accept you've lost .I say that as a person who left .

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By *orthern StarsCouple
3 weeks ago

Durham

You need to sit down with your wife and have a very honest conversation. It's isn't fair on her to expect you to go without sex just because she doesn't want sex, but not us it fair of you yo expect her to have sex if she's doesn't want it. This is why you need a conversation and reach a compromise.

Your wife needs to listen to you and understand your wants and needs as well as you listen to hers.

Ask her that if she isn't happy to have sex with you then would she be happy you finding that pleasure and satisfaction elsewhere. If she says a blunt "no" without a very valid reason then I feel that she doesn't really have much respect for your feelings.

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By *oandstephCouple
3 weeks ago

Bradford

Theres me complaining at once every 10 days or so 🙄maybe shes right and i have a problem 😂

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By *oandstephCouple
3 weeks ago

Bradford

And i remember wathing something that said

Men need sex to feel loved

Women need to feel loved to want sex

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By *aulnextMan
3 weeks ago

Hoar Cross Staffordshire

Totally agree . Granny Crumpet is spot on !

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By *antasdeerideMan
3 weeks ago

winfrith

"Totally agree . Granny Crumpet is spot on !"
Oh no she isn't

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
3 weeks ago

Reading

If you cheat in most liklihood you will be found out and that will probably take all choices out of your hands.

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By *with1Man
3 weeks ago

South East London

[Removed by poster at 20/12/24 11:02:10]

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By *with1Man
3 weeks ago

South East London

If you both genuinely love and care about each other then communication is not dead or dieing then first would be to discuss as to why the relationship become sexless also find alternatives after all there is more to sex then sticking dick in patrhers hole also marriage does not have to have sex in it so long as there is still trust, respect. Honesty and love for each other then lack of sex should not be a issue. No I would never cheat as I would not like my wife if I was married or had a gf for her to cheat on me.

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By *ansoffateMan
3 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

No I would discuss it with her and explore other options rather than do something that would cause her not to want to be in the relationship with me and hurt her, without her knowledge. So our our relationship was based on informed consent rather than deception.

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By *andynecklaceWoman
3 weeks ago

Someplace

Discuss and if nothing comes out of it probably cheat. I wouldn't leave though

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By *hesblokeMan
3 weeks ago

Derbyshire village

It's incredibly difficult to be in that situation, but I'd say communication is key in any kind of relationship.

Leaving a relationship is a huge upheaval, emotionally, practically and financially and I wouldn't take that choice lightly.

However, cheating may well force ones hand in that.

Talk first, always.

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By *eachsidebestiesCouple
3 weeks ago

Kings Lynn

I only know my own experiences. We have been married for 15years. We have been to hell and back in that time. There have been years where we only had sex once a month, there has been a whole 8months straight where we didn't have sex at all. We have been on the brink of divorce 3 times in those 15 years too.

Not once did either of us cheat.

We were open and honest with each other through out. We really do love each other. We wanted to be together and rode out the storms.

We are on FAB because we want to share new experiences together. Not so we can cheat on each other.

Its totally different.

Cheating is lying and been deceitful. Hiding your actions and betraying trust. Its damaging to a persons memtal health. Its selfish. Cheating is the end of eveything good you have with a person.

If you truely love and respect a person you would not do it.

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By *avej500Man
3 weeks ago

Stevenage

My hat of to you my friend

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By *ustinMan
3 weeks ago

near chester

It's not really cheating if there's no sex and it's one sided.

My wife stopped things years ago and I've spent many nights frustrated but not wanting to go off and meet other women out of respect, but what respect have I been given, I didn't go off sex out of choice I was put in this position but I've now decided if the opportunity came up I wouldn't refuse because I don't see why I should feel guilty for being forced to think about looking for some fun.

I'm not ready to just sit around until I die and never have some form of sexual pleasure with a woman again or a guy

Why do we need to feel bad when the person that put us in this situation doesn't

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By *ack69erMan
3 weeks ago

Beverley

"It's not really cheating if there's no sex and it's one sided.

I'm not ready to just sit around until I die and never have some form of sexual pleasure with a woman again or a guy

Why do we need to feel bad when the person that put us in this situation doesn't "

I totally agree, our Lass went off sex over 10 years ago since she had a hysterectomy and for the past 5 years, I have had nothing from her. I reminded her the other night when I asked her if there was any chance of her giving me a tug and all I got from her was it was not that long ago, well I know it was.

And I am certainly not happy now that life is getting short that my last years are going to be sexless when I'm gagging for it everyday.

So, I won't think about cheating if I find someone else and start getting my leg over elsewhere. Our Lass either wants sex or she doesnt, but I am not prepared not to put up without getting sex just because she doesnt want it.

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By *ittleBoPeepingWoman
3 weeks ago

Galway, Clare

"It's not really cheating if there's no sex and it's one sided.

I'm not ready to just sit around until I die and never have some form of sexual pleasure with a woman again or a guy

Why do we need to feel bad when the person that put us in this situation doesn't "

Great to have someone to blame for being forced to want sex with other women.

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By *naswingdressWoman
3 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It's not really cheating if there's no sex and it's one sided.

I'm not ready to just sit around until I die and never have some form of sexual pleasure with a woman again or a guy

Why do we need to feel bad when the person that put us in this situation doesn't "

Yikes

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By *aitonelMan
3 weeks ago

Away for Christmas

"It's not really cheating if there's no sex and it's one sided.

I'm not ready to just sit around until I die and never have some form of sexual pleasure with a woman again or a guy

Why do we need to feel bad when the person that put us in this situation doesn't "

Then don't do something behind her back, without her knowledge in a sexual/romantic capacity (cheating).

Instead, don't be a selfish coward

Talk to her about it, find a solution or just leave her. Essentially you want it all is what you are saying and instead of being an adult about the situation and taking responsibility you are just handing off the "blame" to her in a case of "she started it" 🤦‍♂️

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By *layfullsamMan
3 weeks ago

Solihull

"Cheating in sexless marriage ,

Yes or NO?

-Would you cheat if your wife lost interest in sex?

-Would you break, and leave kids, (not my option) just because sex once a month, and only because I want but not us both? without any vanilla at all, just quick doggy and go..,

-Or any other options?"

She might have lost interest in you not sex

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By *reddie DerbysMan
3 weeks ago

matlock

Married here and had sex twice in 8 years so defo sexless.

I don’t want counselling or to talk to her about it . Sex was always horrendous and just log on here to have a nosey and wank when horny… life is a lot easier that way.

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By *ansoffateMan
3 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"It's not really cheating if there's no sex and it's one sided.

I'm not ready to just sit around until I die and never have some form of sexual pleasure with a woman again or a guy

Why do we need to feel bad when the person that put us in this situation doesn't "

In what way are you being forced?

Your wife is forcing you to have sex with other people and lie about it?

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By *atch0101Man
3 weeks ago

Here

"Other suggestions .......

Allow me stand on your wind pipe for a few seconds.....

Then come back and tell me that sex is the most important thing in your life.

More important than your wife

More important than your kids

More important than your marriage etc etc.......

SUGGESTION 2

Reflect a while on your performance. Would you shag you ?

SUGGESTION 3.

Observe your wife for a while...... check if looking after the house , the kids , you etc is FUCKING KNACKERING If she's knackered...... give her a rest

SUGGESTION 4.

Be attractive.

SUGGESTION 5.

Suggest some you and her time. Plan it, cook it , be seductive make sex a great time rather than an opportunity to cum dump.

Just a few things to think about.

What have you got her for Christmas b.t.w ? Oven gloves ? Some Spanners ?

And what if he has done all of those things? And more?

A bit harsh assuming.

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By *IXEN200Woman
3 weeks ago

newcastle upon tyne

I had a similar problem with my ex where he wasn't having sex with me I had conversation with him he said he would change but never did and eventually told me he hated sex thought it was disgusting. He wanted to continue living in our house with our kids and turn dining room into a bedroom I'd said I wouldn't be happy with that and personally if I'm not happy my kids won't be happy due to far too much tension

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By *inger_SnapWoman
3 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

You say you do the cooking and cleaning together, and she only works part time, but when does she ever get a break? From the kids and house?

Maybe she's not feeling valued, appreciated, attractive...

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By *ittleBoPeepingWoman
3 weeks ago

Galway, Clare

During mediation we were asked how much time we got to ourselves, individually. I said none and then my ex said "you do, sure you go to bed before me every night".

The partner at home makes you feel valued by looking after everything, cooking for you etc.

Show them some appreciation and that could help but dear god they are not the reason you cheat.

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By *oritos90 OP Man
2 weeks ago

luton travelodge

"You say you do the cooking and cleaning together, and she only works part time, but when does she ever get a break? From the kids and house?

Maybe she's not feeling valued, appreciated, attractive..."
she spend a lot of time watching tv.

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By *antasdeerideMan
2 weeks ago

winfrith

Man and woman aren't destined to be sexual animals forever that's the reality you need variety,keeping it interesting is or can be difficult after 40 years together and especially at this time of year ,trim his white beard ffs .

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By *issP69Woman
2 weeks ago

Neath

"You say you do the cooking and cleaning together, and she only works part time, but when does she ever get a break? From the kids and house?

Maybe she's not feeling valued, appreciated, attractive...she spend a lot of time watching tv. "

You think watching TV equates to a break?

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By *issP69Woman
2 weeks ago

Neath

"You say you do the cooking and cleaning together, and she only works part time, but when does she ever get a break? From the kids and house?

Maybe she's not feeling valued, appreciated, attractive...she spend a lot of time watching tv. "

You think watching TV equates to a break?

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By *ucka39Man
2 weeks ago

Newcastle

"You say you do the cooking and cleaning together, and she only works part time, but when does she ever get a break? From the kids and house?

Maybe she's not feeling valued, appreciated, attractive...she spend a lot of time watching tv. "

Find yourself a hobby

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By *antasdeerideMan
2 weeks ago

winfrith

"You say you do the cooking and cleaning together, and she only works part time, but when does she ever get a break? From the kids and house?

Maybe she's not feeling valued, appreciated, attractive...she spend a lot of time watching tv.

You think watching TV equates to a break?"
So good she said it twice .Watching TV is a waste of life .

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
2 weeks ago

Hastings

"What have you got her for Christmas b.t.w ? Oven gloves ? Some Spanners ?

There's nothing wrong with oven gloves or spanners. Both decent gifts.

They certainly are both decent gifts Willy .... I got you silicon ones...... pink with daisies on "

Ohhh can I ask where did you get the silicon spaners..

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By *hree_into_oneCouple
2 weeks ago

warrington

Just the Oven gloves is enough

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By *oritos90 OP Man
2 weeks ago

luton travelodge

"You say you do the cooking and cleaning together, and she only works part time, but when does she ever get a break? From the kids and house?

Maybe she's not feeling valued, appreciated, attractive...she spend a lot of time watching tv.

You think watching TV equates to a break?"

Going out with girls, flying on holidays. You asked when she ever get break from house and kids.

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By *edbath 5Man
2 weeks ago

london

Me and the nun get on brilliantly since we met at sch. She just ain’t interested in sex. Never has unless very d*unk or we have been in a naturist beach. I’ve tried everything. Nothing worked so I gave up trying. If I “cheat” I’ll cheat. Not the slightest worried. Wouldn’t want her to know tho and that’s my stumbling ground. Getting out.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
2 weeks ago

Leeds

No.

Talk, compromise or leave, don't hurt the one you apparently love especially when there is kids involved, it's just selfish.

Mrs

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By *ark742024Man
2 weeks ago

Cheshire

What an awful thread

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By *icolerobbieCouple
2 weeks ago

walsall

"It's not really cheating if there's no sex and it's one sided.

I'm not ready to just sit around until I die and never have some form of sexual pleasure with a woman again or a guy

Why do we need to feel bad when the person that put us in this situation doesn't "

It is cheating. You may have justified your actions in your own mind, but it is still cheating.

It’s not fair to deny one partner sex and neither is it fair for the other to have sex that they don’t want. The solution to this is difficult, but if the relationship is to catty on then talking with each other is the only way.

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By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
2 weeks ago

Mottram St Andrew

I didn't cheat and eventually learned the kids would be better off seeing two happy patents, even if that meant separately. Your job as a father is to set them up as best you can, not lose yourself because things changed but you can't. That deals with that excuse.

If you can't have an open conversation with your partner then it's a doomed relationship. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but at some point it'll become toxic and resentful.

A relationship works for both or what's the point. You have to try to fix what's broken and that may mean removing yourself from the marriage.

So, either discuss the imbalance like adults and come to a compromise you're both happy with or leave.

Cheating is playing outside the rules and is never acceptable, it's just the weak option because you daren't do the right thing. So either, fix it, change the rules mutually, or move on.

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
2 weeks ago

Ryde

The wife has a couple of regulars who are in sexless marriages. Both are perfectly nice guys (one of which loves their wife) but sex is either a couple of times a year, or is utterly non-existent.

One of them has a wife who has severe mental health problems, and literally cannot bear to be touched by anyone. After five years of no sex, he created an account to look at photos, but stumbled across my wife, who turned out to be a combination of wife, mother, father-confessor and agony-aunt. He has no guilt, as it's helping to keep his marriage on the rails, and he still adores his wife and kids. The first time he turned up, he was terrified, literally shaking and required talking down as though about to jump off of a building. Now, he turns up, has loads of hugs (vital!) copious sex and a long chat afterwards. It's a pressure-valve, and he's such a nice guys that it's a pleasure to provide it. Amazing cock, too!!

The other regular lives apart from his wife through work, and their marriage is loveless as well as sexless, and he turns up once a month from some fun. Theirs is a marriage of convenience, so guilt really isn't a factor.

Neither of these guys are on Fab, otherwise we wouldn't have posted about them here.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
2 weeks ago

Wherever

"Me and the nun get on brilliantly since we met at sch. She just ain’t interested in sex. Never has unless very d*unk or we have been in a naturist beach. I’ve tried everything. Nothing worked so I gave up trying. If I “cheat” I’ll cheat. Not the slightest worried. Wouldn’t want her to know tho and that’s my stumbling ground. Getting out. "

Maybe she’s getting it elsewhere, the nun I mean

🤔

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By *laytonAMan
2 weeks ago

newport

It's up to you op. My wife and I ended our marriage not because of lack of sex but people change and we decided that after a long time of trying we weren't right for one another anymore.

I have kids and they are happy I know they would want us together but ultimately they will understand once they are old enough.

With regards to cheating don't do it, for a million reasons, it reads as if youve both lost your mojo, talk do things you did to fall in love, try new things together, get some quality time alone with her, make her feel special and dont make it just about you, it takes two to tango... if that fails just end it and move on, it will be horrible and upsetting however long term everyone will be better off.

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By *erfHerder74Man
2 weeks ago

Inverclyde

There’s lots of ways to have sex without sticking it inside someone

Also I guess marriage should be about talking about these things,

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
2 weeks ago

Hastings

"You say you do the cooking and cleaning together, and she only works part time, but when does she ever get a break? From the kids and house?

Maybe she's not feeling valued, appreciated, attractive...she spend a lot of time watching tv.

You think watching TV equates to a break?

Going out with girls, flying on holidays. You asked when she ever get break from house and kids. "

Hi OP

I have made my mind up no not cheating but am going to start the new year by laying down some ground rules for the wife. And there not all about sex. But she will need to take things on board or I'm out will just walk away. I don't think she will want me to walk so hope she stops and thinks about me and what I want moor. If not then I guess I need to look after me more..

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By *ittleBoPeepingWoman
2 weeks ago

Galway, Clare

"You say you do the cooking and cleaning together, and she only works part time, but when does she ever get a break? From the kids and house?

Maybe she's not feeling valued, appreciated, attractive...she spend a lot of time watching tv.

You think watching TV equates to a break?

Going out with girls, flying on holidays. You asked when she ever get break from house and kids.

Hi OP

What a lucky, lucky lady your wife is.

If she needs a hand packing her bags I'm there...

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By *etals100Woman
2 weeks ago

Coventry

What a lucky, lucky lady your wife is.

If she needs a hand packing her bags I'm there..."

I'll also pitch in

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
2 weeks ago

Hastings

"You say you do the cooking and cleaning together, and she only works part time, but when does she ever get a break? From the kids and house?

Maybe she's not feeling valued, appreciated, attractive...she spend a lot of time watching tv.

You think watching TV equates to a break?

Going out with girls, flying on holidays. You asked when she ever get break from house and kids.

Hi OP

What a lucky, lucky lady your wife is.

If she needs a hand packing her bags I'm there..."

She won't pack she loves the house more then me. I want us to down size but no way will she. If you want to help her just give her the cash she needs. As I'm not doing it any more.

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By *aTina HeadTurnerWoman
2 weeks ago

Travelling

"You say you do the cooking and cleaning together, and she only works part time, but when does she ever get a break? From the kids and house?

Maybe she's not feeling valued, appreciated, attractive...she spend a lot of time watching tv.

You think watching TV equates to a break?

Going out with girls, flying on holidays. You asked when she ever get break from house and kids.

Hi OP

What a lucky, lucky lady your wife is.

If she needs a hand packing her bags I'm there...

She won't pack she loves the house more then me. I want us to down size but no way will she. If you want to help her just give her the cash she needs. As I'm not doing it any more. "

What a keeper, you are.

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By *uvs2watchherCouple
2 weeks ago

newcastle

Told my hubby to find someone else if he didn't like no sex. Broke my heart when he did. Beautiful tiny Kylie lookalike with a model body. I saw the pictures. I realised if he could have her then I was the fool!!! Changed our life. I'm soo jealous now but. I'm happy and o know I was a wrong and a pain. Great now and I'm allowed a boyfriend lol. Hubby is definately not!! Xxx dee

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By *idgewayRangerMan
2 weeks ago

South Wales

Do you know why it's that way?

Hormones play a huge part and can kill a woman's libido (and indeed a man's).

Seek to understand first, then decide how to deal with it together

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By *etterdays2021Man
2 weeks ago

PETERBOROUGH

I dont belive in cheating.

Better be upfront.

My opinion and i respect everyone else's opinion

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By *ansoffateMan
2 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

There's really not that much that gets under my skin. It's not even the cheating that irks me, it's the seeking of validation for it.

There's ethical non-monoghamy where the parties involved are aware and boundaries are respected, so there's informed consent. And then there's the betrayal of trust one has established with their partners.

It's a basic principle of honesty. The stuff we learn as young children? Don't be a bully, learn to share, don't shit in your pants and wipe it on the walls. That kind of thing.

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By *othwaysnudeMan
2 weeks ago

chesterfield

Get rip sorry been ther she was a lier and having it away with others

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By *929Man
2 weeks ago

bedlington

I was given permission to go elsewhere in my relationship with the mother of my kids as we couldn’t have sex due to her medical issues but still couldn’t do so when opportunity presented itself

We eventually split anyway for other reasons

Everyone’s different but I’d personally try and fix what’s wrong, if can’t be fixed it’s time to accept that it might be time to move on

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
2 weeks ago

Hastings

"Do you know why it's that way?

Hormones play a huge part and can kill a woman's libido (and indeed a man's).

Seek to understand first, then decide how to deal with it together "

Oh it's not just about SEX.

I have given to much and its now expected and to top it off was Christmas lol.

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By *oxy-RedWoman
2 weeks ago

pink panther territory

I was in that situation with my ex,I would never have cheated,he did

End of marriage

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By *ustinMan
7 days ago

near chester

"It's not really cheating if there's no sex and it's one sided.

I'm not ready to just sit around until I die and never have some form of sexual pleasure with a woman again or a guy

Why do we need to feel bad when the person that put us in this situation doesn't

Then don't do something behind her back, without her knowledge in a sexual/romantic capacity (cheating).

Instead, don't be a selfish coward

You seem to know a lot about what conversations I have or have not had with my wife, odd as I've never seen you there when we have had conversations about it.

Women sleep with other guys and don't give them a second thought but most of them are not doing it because they have suffered years of no sex and out of respect they have gone without, but finally got to a point were they are so stressed and frustrated they look for it with someone else. Most women fuck other men because they think it's ok and because they see their mates going out and picking guys up for extra sex.

I don't walk away and just abandon my wife because she's unwell and gone off sex, but I am just a normal guy with needs who didn't choose to not have them.

Having sex with a woman or man by mutual consent is not cheating it's doing something natural. The fact my wife no longer wants or needs sex is fine but my body didn't turn off.

It is fare better to find pleasure in secret than do what you suggest and destroy my wife's life leave her destroy her home put her through a divorce when she isn't well just for a casual sexual friendship with someone else.

Your idea is very selfish, destroy a marriage and divorce a woman you said you would be with in sickness and health just for the occasional bit of sexual pleasure.

Wow.

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By *ingle49Man
7 days ago

rural

Shouldn’t get married then that’s why more people are not getting married any more, an expensive piece of paper to get and expensive to get rid of

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
7 days ago

East Sussex

"It's not really cheating if there's no sex and it's one sided.

I'm not ready to just sit around until I die and never have some form of sexual pleasure with a woman again or a guy

Why do we need to feel bad when the person that put us in this situation doesn't

Then don't do something behind her back, without her knowledge in a sexual/romantic capacity (cheating).

Instead, don't be a selfish coward

You seem to know a lot about what conversations I have or have not had with my wife, odd as I've never seen you there when we have had conversations about it.

I don't walk away and just abandon my wife because she's unwell and gone off sex, but I am just a normal guy with needs who didn't choose to not have them.

Having sex with a woman or man by mutual consent is not cheating it's doing something natural. The fact my wife no longer wants or needs sex is fine but my body didn't turn off.

Your idea is very selfish, destroy a marriage and divorce a woman you said you would be with in sickness and health just for the occasional bit of sexual pleasure.

Wow."

A bit of a generalisation about women there

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By *iss KinkWoman
7 days ago

North West

"Other suggestions .......

Allow me stand on your wind pipe for a few seconds.....

Then come back and tell me that sex is the most important thing in your life.

More important than your wife

More important than your kids

More important than your marriage etc etc.......

SUGGESTION 2

Reflect a while on your performance. Would you shag you ?

SUGGESTION 3.

Observe your wife for a while...... check if looking after the house , the kids , you etc is FUCKING KNACKERING If she's knackered...... give her a rest

SUGGESTION 4.

Be attractive.

SUGGESTION 5.

Suggest some you and her time. Plan it, cook it , be seductive make sex a great time rather than an opportunity to cum dump.

Just a few things to think about.

What have you got her for Christmas b.t.w ? Oven gloves ? Some Spanners ?

And grass isn’t allways greener either judging by the amount of men in here moaning they can’t get sex

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By *entleman JayMan
7 days ago

Wakefield

There are so many man that “don’t class it as cheating, due to little or no sex at home”.

Ask your partner. She would disagree with that.

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By *dz69247Man
7 days ago

Manchester

I was in a sexless marriage and it was awful, especially as I’m so sexual (use to need it at least once or twice a day).

However you need to make sure for certain that you have done everything before you decide to take a step further. Are you the most attractive you can be, are you there for your partner, doing your share, helping out.

Also are you creating the right opportunities and environment for sex to transpire. Little cheeky foot rubs when watching television, massages, compliments, spending quality time with each other, not just sat in front of the tv on your phones, but actual time.

I did all that, as much as I could, I started MMA and went to the gym at 6am because that’s the only time I had, I made sure everything I did was for the family and my partner, made sure her needs were met.

Unfortunately she just lost all interest in sex, or ever doing it, and it became time to look at other options as I couldn’t hack it not having sex.

I’ll be honest I did start thinking about cheating, but I had a proper conversation with my partner, explaining everything and that I needed sex, I offered different options, but my ex just didn’t want me to have sex with anyone else, so we went our separate ways.

I’m glad I did that instead of cheating though, as we split on very good terms, no anger. Ironically we now and again do have sex, it’s rare and it’s purely physical no feelings involved.

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