FabSwingers.com forum: Fake an excuse for not coming to work today

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

Sorry I can't come to work because....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inceIlkestonMan
12 weeks ago

Ilkeston

"Sorry I can't come to work because...."

I'm sick that Trump got elected

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eneralKenobiMan
12 weeks ago

North Angus

I climbed a tree to help a cat and now we’re both stuck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eneralKenobiMan
12 weeks ago

North Angus

I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it by coming to work

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *929Man
12 weeks ago

bedlington

There was a great episode of scooby doo on the telly and I didn’t want to stop watching it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"Sorry I can't come to work because....

I'm sick that Trump got elected "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *assy69Man
12 weeks ago

West Sussex and Wales

because i might just kill someone, and I don't want to get sent to HR again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

Sorry I can’t come into work today as my pet goldfish that I got at the fair last week has just died.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ansoffateMan
12 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I thought Russia had launched a nuclear ICBM strike, but it turns out I was asleep and it was a dream.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lowupdollTV/TS
12 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

I went for a curry last night and now I have a sore ass.

Last time I offer to pay in kind I tell ya.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *esthetic21Man
12 weeks ago

Birmingham/Bristol

I left work early yesterday to go to a hospital appointment that didn't exist

and got paid still

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osey WalesMan
12 weeks ago

"Sorry I can't come to work because...."

I want to spend the day naked.

I can still come in if you want but the nakedness is still gonna happen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitzTV/TS
12 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

In January 2000 I was meant to be working out my notice in a dreadful job and called in every night claiming that I'd caught the Millennium Bug from my computer.

I believe they had strong doubts about this, but as I was due to quit at the end of the week, there wasn't a lot they could do about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I climbed a tree to help a cat and now we’re both stuck "

Should I send the firetruck?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it by coming to work "

Personal days are allowed but please report to my office at 9 in the morning for punishment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"There was a great episode of scooby doo on the telly and I didn’t want to stop watching it "

Oh I can come watch it too? Pretty please

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"because i might just kill someone, and I don't want to get sent to HR again

Just make sure you don't get caught

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eneralKenobiMan
12 weeks ago

North Angus

"I climbed a tree to help a cat and now we’re both stuck

Should I send the firetruck?"

After your other reply I’m already out the tree and heading to the office for 9am sharp!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustincider888Man
12 weeks ago

Preston Ish

I phoned in today and told the boss "I was sick"

She asked "how sick are you"?

I replied "I'm just licking my sister out"

I'm here all week

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inAndTonic21Couple
12 weeks ago

Merseyside

My butt plug is stuck and I can’t sit down for long periods

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ountry cowboyMan
12 weeks ago

Kinross

"Sorry I can't come to work because....

I'm sick that Trump got elected "

Can't come to work, still celebrating Trump's amazing win...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amantha_NiteTV/TS
12 weeks ago

The Lake District

My dog has eaten my mobile phone,which i use the sat nav on to get to work,in the same place ive worked for past 5 years and still have no idea how to travel from home to there...oh and i must be calling in from the 'land line then 😇😇

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I climbed a tree to help a cat and now we’re both stuck

Should I send the firetruck?

After your other reply I’m already out the tree and heading to the office for 9am sharp!"

What a bad boy you are pretending to be stuck in tree.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"Sorry I can’t come into work today as my pet goldfish that I got at the fair last week has just died. "

Aww make sure you give them a good send off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I thought Russia had launched a nuclear ICBM strike, but it turns out I was asleep and it was a dream."

You need better dreams

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enelope2UWoman
12 weeks ago

Fife

I woke up blind... I just couldn't see myself going in to the office in this condition.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I went for a curry last night and now I have a sore ass.

Last time I offer to pay in kind I tell ya."

More lube next time and it won't be as sore

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I left work early yesterday to go to a hospital appointment that didn't exist

and got paid still

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"In January 2000 I was meant to be working out my notice in a dreadful job and called in every night claiming that I'd caught the Millennium Bug from my computer.

I believe they had strong doubts about this, but as I was due to quit at the end of the week, there wasn't a lot they could do about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I phoned in today and told the boss "I was sick"

She asked "how sick are you"?

I replied "I'm just licking my sister out"

I'm here all week

Pretty sick alright

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avincorkMan
12 weeks ago

cork

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"My butt plug is stuck and I can’t sit down for long periods

I've got you. Yah can have lots of movement breaks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"Sorry I can't come to work because....

I'm sick that Trump got elected

Can't come to work, still celebrating Trump's amazing win..."

Your fired

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"My dog has eaten my mobile phone,which i use the sat nav on to get to work,in the same place ive worked for past 5 years and still have no idea how to travel from home to there...oh and i must be calling in from the 'land line then 😇😇"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I woke up blind... I just couldn't see myself going in to the office in this condition."

This cracked me up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BWLOVER1965Man
12 weeks ago

Ipswich

Cant be arsed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elshy44Man
12 weeks ago

rct

Worker to boss " i cannot come to work today because i am sick "

Boss to worker " well how sick are you ? "

Worker to boss " well i am in bed shagging my gran, is that sick enough ? "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"Worker to boss " i cannot come to work today because i am sick "

Boss to worker " well how sick are you ? "

Worker to boss " well i am in bed shagging my gran, is that sick enough ? "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rauntonbananaMan
12 weeks ago

Braunton

"Sorry I can't come to work because....

I'm sick that Trump got elected "

YYYAAAAWWWNNN!! That’s original

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lynJMan
12 weeks ago

Morden

I'm recovering from a "Type A Aortic Dissection" - not made up, but true

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lowupdollTV/TS
12 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

Someone said insert 2 AA batteries in the back. I didn’t know they meant the tv remote. Anyway I’m in A&E.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aptain Caveman41Man
12 weeks ago

Home

I'm on holidays

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
12 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

I farted and followed through

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oobaaMan
12 weeks ago

South Shields

Ive lost the lid to my sandwich box

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

My dick is too big, can’t come in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ltrMan
12 weeks ago

sheffield

Doctor needed a stool sample so have gone to IKEA to get one not sure why he needs one I only went in for a medical

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *punk n gushCouple
12 weeks ago

deal

My balls are too heavy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ryme123Man
12 weeks ago

manchester

How does a pornstar call in sick??

“Sorry I can’t come tonight”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ffervescentMan
12 weeks ago

winfrith

I can't work today sorry .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
12 weeks ago

Southampton

I'm not calling in sick I'm calling in dead 🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lice AgainTV/TS
12 weeks ago

Bristol

This 'girl' underwear is totally up my buttcrack...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ourdirtylittlesecretCouple
12 weeks ago

Leeds

Because I’m broken from too much fun with 30 sexy women last night at the ladies only event 🥵😈😮‍💨

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *JcuriousCouple
12 weeks ago

Derby

I'm calling in sick because I'm healthy and happy and don't want work to ruin that

Miss S x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riendlyPhilyMan
12 weeks ago

Bexley

It’s to hot to work today

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
12 weeks ago

Southampton

"I'm calling in sick because I'm healthy and happy and don't want work to ruin that

Miss S x"

🤣🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issolvedOrdersMan
12 weeks ago

Bristol

My sister ate my homework

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *moothdickMan
12 weeks ago

stoke

Not in today as I’ve discovered I can suck my own cock

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
12 weeks ago

North West UK

I have a sprained sock.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lder budweiserMan
12 weeks ago

Stirlingshire

Sore ovaries

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I'm suffering with a cubic foot.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustforkicks671Woman
12 weeks ago

in need of a good rogering. sheffield

I’ve woken up in the best possible mood and don’t want to spoil it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustforkicks671Woman
12 weeks ago

in need of a good rogering. sheffield

Or Toxic shock syndrome. ( they’ll be too embarrassed to ask lol)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phrodisiac2000Man
12 weeks ago

diggle

My balls are too full

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *punk n gushCouple
12 weeks ago

deal

"My balls are too full "

2 late I used that earlier

Haha fake news who's got the haribo then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I have been taken h*stage and they won’t release me until my paycheque with bonus goes into my account and the end of the month!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"Someone said insert 2 AA batteries in the back. I didn’t know they meant the tv remote. Anyway I’m in A&E. "

I actually spat my drink out laughing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtycouple1008Couple
12 weeks ago

west london

I forgot the way to work

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I'm recovering from a "Type A Aortic Dissection" - not made up, but true "

Sick note please ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I farted and followed through

Change the underwear and get your ass in here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ags73Man
12 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

There’s a problem with the train.

I didn’t get on it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *Rocky BalbonerMan
12 weeks ago

the shire

Hey, I won’t be able to make it in today. My couch has just informed me it has abandonment issues, and as a responsible caretaker, I simply can’t leave it alone in such a fragile state.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iger_WolfCouple
12 weeks ago

Havering

Well… because I have run out of fucks to give and i don’t what to be banged up for murdering co-workers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"Ive lost the lid to my sandwich box"

Wrap it up instead and get yourself in here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"My dick is too big, can’t come in. "

Not as big as the dick that's in charge

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"My balls are too heavy

Cum to work, I'll help you unload them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *929Man
12 weeks ago

bedlington

"There was a great episode of scooby doo on the telly and I didn’t want to stop watching it

Oh I can come watch it too? Pretty please

Haha yes of course !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"Doctor needed a stool sample so have gone to IKEA to get one not sure why he needs one I only went in for a medical "

Assume your still going around IKEA

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ffervescentMan
12 weeks ago

winfrith

I've got pie stuck in my teeth .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittleMissCaliWoman
12 weeks ago

all loved up

The cat stole my car key

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elix SightedMan
12 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Yesterday you said to me “Have a good day tomorrow”, so I won’t be in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
12 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

I'm on my period.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eordieJeansCouple
12 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I mopped myself into the corner and I don’t want get my socks wet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uckslut and MCouple
12 weeks ago

Poole

I pull up a work a few weeks ago. The fog was so bad, I could'nt see the building from the other side of the car park. I did text the boss, to say 'I can't come in today, as I can't find it'. She sent me a laughing emoji.

- true story.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"My sister ate my homework "

Can you send her to mine and she can eat mine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"Sore ovaries "

Me too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
12 weeks ago

"I have a sprained sock."

My sons used his so much it's snapped in half

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hat.coupleCouple
12 weeks ago

Dartford

Sorry I can't come to work today I've got a bone in my finger

Mrs x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iaisonseekerMan
12 weeks ago

Liverpool

I tripped over my cock and sprained my ankle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lynJMan
12 weeks ago

Morden

"I'm recovering from a "Type A Aortic Dissection" - not made up, but true

Sick note please ?"

I can show you the scars

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *utdooryoneMan
12 weeks ago

Over there

I've got a fab meet planned...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *8warrenMan
12 weeks ago

I caught my foreskin in my trousers zip

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tealthbomber2024Man
12 weeks ago

southend-on-sea

Sorry boss, but i got lost on fabswingers and now I can't get out of the forums.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tr8MrEMan
12 weeks ago

Shireoaks, Worksop

Sorry boss, but I superglued my hand to my cock last night and the only way I can free it is by spending all day wanking furiously

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealMissShadyWoman
12 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Too fat and shattered

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ee-LiteWoman
12 weeks ago

Where there’s no dick pics

I’m feeling so upbeat that I don’t want to waste this feeling by coming into work… I’ll just contact a few fwb’s to enjoy and nurture my good feeling

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I have anal blindness. I can’t see this arse going to work today

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealMissShadyWoman
12 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

I'm dead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aptain obviouslyMan
12 weeks ago

Manchester

New to feed my neighbours cat and replace the sky remote because I dropped it measuring something

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ags73Man
12 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"I have a sprained sock.

My sons used his so much it's snapped in half

Aww no. Crusty.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ripfillMan
12 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

My duvet is lead lined … couldn’t get the hoist to work

Pinned down all day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ny1localMan
12 weeks ago

READING

"Sorry I can't come to work because...."
I've heart and kidney trouble..heart lazy and kidney be bothered.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issBehave69Man
12 weeks ago

Bulgaria

Can’t come in sorry, laddered my stockings.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entlemanrogueMan
12 weeks ago

Motherwell

Someone stole my car and k***ed my dog.

yes I was watching John wick recently

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

Because i have been brutally sexualy assaulted by a traffic warden..... put tgat in your return to work haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
11 weeks ago

"I caught my foreskin in my trousers zip "

Ouch

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issolvedOrdersMan
11 weeks ago

Bristol

I broke a fingernail making a daisy chain

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezoMan
11 weeks ago

The Kingdom

[Removed by poster at 12/11/24 03:52:53]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezoMan
11 weeks ago

The Kingdom

I re gently attended a swingers organisation and recognised half of the girls in the office.

It will be awkward for everyone involved.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezoMan
11 weeks ago

The Kingdom

I recently*

What the hell is up with my autocorrect?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rthur30Man
11 weeks ago

Warrington

Sorry I can’t come into work because my testicles are descending/ascending.(delete as appropriate).

… I’ve got stuff coming out of my thingy

… the remote is stuck up my bum

… my Nannas budgie has died

… my budgies Nanna has died

… you can’t stop the children of the revolution

… one day I’ll fly away. It’s today.

… I think I’m gonna be sad, I think it’s today

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *torm in a G cupWoman
11 weeks ago

Land of the Long White Cloud

"I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it by coming to work "

I might have to try this one ....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ampire69Man
11 weeks ago

Birmingham West Midlands

CBA. Can't be arsed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ildTimes.Man
11 weeks ago

Colchester/London

My great grandma died ...again .,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread