FabSwingers.com forum: Fake an excuse for not coming to work today

By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

Sorry I can't come to work because....

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By *inceIlkestonMan
2 weeks ago

Ilkeston

"Sorry I can't come to work because...."

I'm sick that Trump got elected

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By *eneralKenobiMan
2 weeks ago

North Angus

I climbed a tree to help a cat and now we’re both stuck

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By *eneralKenobiMan
2 weeks ago

North Angus

I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it by coming to work

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By *929Man
2 weeks ago

newcastle

There was a great episode of scooby doo on the telly and I didn’t want to stop watching it

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"Sorry I can't come to work because....

I'm sick that Trump got elected "

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By *assy69Man
2 weeks ago

West Sussex and Wales

because i might just kill someone, and I don't want to get sent to HR again

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By *ndy8440Man
2 weeks ago

Jarrow

Sorry I can’t come into work today as my pet goldfish that I got at the fair last week has just died.

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By *ansoffateMan
2 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I thought Russia had launched a nuclear ICBM strike, but it turns out I was asleep and it was a dream.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Herts

I went for a curry last night and now I have a sore ass.

Last time I offer to pay in kind I tell ya.

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By *esthetic21Man
2 weeks ago

Birmingham/Bristol

I left work early yesterday to go to a hospital appointment that didn't exist

and got paid still

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By *osey WalesMan
2 weeks ago

Surrey

"Sorry I can't come to work because...."

I want to spend the day naked.

I can still come in if you want but the nakedness is still gonna happen.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

In January 2000 I was meant to be working out my notice in a dreadful job and called in every night claiming that I'd caught the Millennium Bug from my computer.

I believe they had strong doubts about this, but as I was due to quit at the end of the week, there wasn't a lot they could do about it.

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"I climbed a tree to help a cat and now we’re both stuck "

Should I send the firetruck?

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it by coming to work "

Personal days are allowed but please report to my office at 9 in the morning for punishment.

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"There was a great episode of scooby doo on the telly and I didn’t want to stop watching it "

Oh I can come watch it too? Pretty please

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"because i might just kill someone, and I don't want to get sent to HR again

Just make sure you don't get caught

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By *eneralKenobiMan
2 weeks ago

North Angus

"I climbed a tree to help a cat and now we’re both stuck

Should I send the firetruck?"

After your other reply I’m already out the tree and heading to the office for 9am sharp!

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By *ustincider888Man
2 weeks ago

Preston Ish

I phoned in today and told the boss "I was sick"

She asked "how sick are you"?

I replied "I'm just licking my sister out"

I'm here all week

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
2 weeks ago

Merseyside

My butt plug is stuck and I can’t sit down for long periods

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By *ountry cowboyMan
2 weeks ago

Kinross

"Sorry I can't come to work because....

I'm sick that Trump got elected "

Can't come to work, still celebrating Trump's amazing win...

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By *amantha_NiteTV/TS
2 weeks ago

The Lake District

My dog has eaten my mobile phone,which i use the sat nav on to get to work,in the same place ive worked for past 5 years and still have no idea how to travel from home to there...oh and i must be calling in from the 'land line then 😇😇

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"I climbed a tree to help a cat and now we’re both stuck

Should I send the firetruck?

After your other reply I’m already out the tree and heading to the office for 9am sharp!"

What a bad boy you are pretending to be stuck in tree.

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"Sorry I can’t come into work today as my pet goldfish that I got at the fair last week has just died. "

Aww make sure you give them a good send off.

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"I thought Russia had launched a nuclear ICBM strike, but it turns out I was asleep and it was a dream."

You need better dreams

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By *enelope2UWoman
2 weeks ago

Fife

I woke up blind... I just couldn't see myself going in to the office in this condition.

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"I went for a curry last night and now I have a sore ass.

Last time I offer to pay in kind I tell ya."

More lube next time and it won't be as sore

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"I left work early yesterday to go to a hospital appointment that didn't exist

and got paid still

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"In January 2000 I was meant to be working out my notice in a dreadful job and called in every night claiming that I'd caught the Millennium Bug from my computer.

I believe they had strong doubts about this, but as I was due to quit at the end of the week, there wasn't a lot they could do about it.

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"I phoned in today and told the boss "I was sick"

She asked "how sick are you"?

I replied "I'm just licking my sister out"

I'm here all week

Pretty sick alright

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By *avincorkMan
2 weeks ago

cork

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"My butt plug is stuck and I can’t sit down for long periods

I've got you. Yah can have lots of movement breaks.

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"Sorry I can't come to work because....

I'm sick that Trump got elected

Can't come to work, still celebrating Trump's amazing win..."

Your fired

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"My dog has eaten my mobile phone,which i use the sat nav on to get to work,in the same place ive worked for past 5 years and still have no idea how to travel from home to there...oh and i must be calling in from the 'land line then 😇😇"

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"I woke up blind... I just couldn't see myself going in to the office in this condition."

This cracked me up

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By *BWLOVER1965Man
2 weeks ago

My Own Little World

Cant be arsed

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By *elshy44Man
2 weeks ago

rct

Worker to boss " i cannot come to work today because i am sick "

Boss to worker " well how sick are you ? "

Worker to boss " well i am in bed shagging my gran, is that sick enough ? "

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"Worker to boss " i cannot come to work today because i am sick "

Boss to worker " well how sick are you ? "

Worker to boss " well i am in bed shagging my gran, is that sick enough ? "

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By *rauntonbananaMan
2 weeks ago

Braunton

"Sorry I can't come to work because....

I'm sick that Trump got elected "

YYYAAAAWWWNNN!! That’s original

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By *lynJMan
2 weeks ago

Morden

I'm recovering from a "Type A Aortic Dissection" - not made up, but true

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Herts

Someone said insert 2 AA batteries in the back. I didn’t know they meant the tv remote. Anyway I’m in A&E.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
2 weeks ago

Home

I'm on holidays

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By *ools and the brainCouple
2 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

I farted and followed through

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By *oobaaMan
2 weeks ago

South Shields

Ive lost the lid to my sandwich box

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By *orthern_knobberMan
2 weeks ago

manchester

My dick is too big, can’t come in.

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By *ltrMan
2 weeks ago

sheffield

Doctor needed a stool sample so have gone to IKEA to get one not sure why he needs one I only went in for a medical

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By *punk n gushCouple
2 weeks ago

Walmer, Deal

My balls are too heavy

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By *ryme123Man
2 weeks ago

manchester

How does a pornstar call in sick??

“Sorry I can’t come tonight”

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By *8on33Man
2 weeks ago

winfrith

I can't work today sorry .

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
2 weeks ago

Southampton

I'm not calling in sick I'm calling in dead 🤣

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By *lice AgainTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Bristol

This 'girl' underwear is totally up my buttcrack...

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By *ourdirtylittlesecretCouple
2 weeks ago

Leeds

Because I’m broken from too much fun with 30 sexy women last night at the ladies only event 🥵😈😮‍💨

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By *JcuriousCouple
2 weeks ago

Derby

I'm calling in sick because I'm healthy and happy and don't want work to ruin that

Miss S x

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By *riendlyPhilyMan
2 weeks ago

Bexley

It’s to hot to work today

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
2 weeks ago

Southampton

"I'm calling in sick because I'm healthy and happy and don't want work to ruin that

Miss S x"

🤣🤣

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
2 weeks ago

Bristol

My sister ate my homework

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By *moothdickMan
2 weeks ago

stoke

Not in today as I’ve discovered I can suck my own cock

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By *elloIntrigueMan
2 weeks ago

North West UK

I have a sprained sock.

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By *yzykMan
2 weeks ago

Stirlingshire

Sore ovaries

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

I'm suffering with a cubic foot.

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By *ustforkicks671Woman
2 weeks ago

in need of a good rogering. sheffield

I’ve woken up in the best possible mood and don’t want to spoil it.

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By *ustforkicks671Woman
2 weeks ago

in need of a good rogering. sheffield

Or Toxic shock syndrome. ( they’ll be too embarrassed to ask lol)

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By *phrodisiac2000Man
2 weeks ago

blazing Saddleworth

My balls are too full

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By *punk n gushCouple
2 weeks ago

Walmer, Deal

"My balls are too full "

2 late I used that earlier

Haha fake news who's got the haribo then

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By *wiss Army KnifeMan
2 weeks ago

Second star to the right…

I have been taken h*stage and they won’t release me until my paycheque with bonus goes into my account and the end of the month!!!

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"Someone said insert 2 AA batteries in the back. I didn’t know they meant the tv remote. Anyway I’m in A&E. "

I actually spat my drink out laughing.

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
2 weeks ago

west london

I forgot the way to work

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"I'm recovering from a "Type A Aortic Dissection" - not made up, but true "

Sick note please ?

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"I farted and followed through

Change the underwear and get your ass in here

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By *agnar73Man
2 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

There’s a problem with the train.

I didn’t get on it

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By *Rocky BalbonerMan
2 weeks ago

the shire

Hey, I won’t be able to make it in today. My couch has just informed me it has abandonment issues, and as a responsible caretaker, I simply can’t leave it alone in such a fragile state.

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By *iger_WolfCouple
2 weeks ago

Havering

Well… because I have run out of fucks to give and i don’t what to be banged up for murdering co-workers.

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"Ive lost the lid to my sandwich box"

Wrap it up instead and get yourself in here

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"My dick is too big, can’t come in. "

Not as big as the dick that's in charge

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"My balls are too heavy

Cum to work, I'll help you unload them

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By *929Man
2 weeks ago

newcastle

"There was a great episode of scooby doo on the telly and I didn’t want to stop watching it

Oh I can come watch it too? Pretty please

Haha yes of course !

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"Doctor needed a stool sample so have gone to IKEA to get one not sure why he needs one I only went in for a medical "

Assume your still going around IKEA

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By *8on33Man
2 weeks ago

winfrith

I've got pie stuck in my teeth .

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
2 weeks ago

all loved up

The cat stole my car key

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By *elix SightedMan
2 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Yesterday you said to me “Have a good day tomorrow”, so I won’t be in.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
2 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

I'm on my period.

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By *eordieJeansCouple
2 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I mopped myself into the corner and I don’t want get my socks wet.

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By *uckslut and MCouple
2 weeks ago

Poole

I pull up a work a few weeks ago. The fog was so bad, I could'nt see the building from the other side of the car park. I did text the boss, to say 'I can't come in today, as I can't find it'. She sent me a laughing emoji.

- true story.

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"My sister ate my homework "

Can you send her to mine and she can eat mine.

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"Sore ovaries "

Me too

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By *allbanger OP Woman
2 weeks ago

inurbedroom

"I have a sprained sock."

My sons used his so much it's snapped in half

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By *hat.coupleCouple
2 weeks ago

Dartford

Sorry I can't come to work today I've got a bone in my finger

Mrs x

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By *iaisonseekerMan
2 weeks ago

Liverpool

I tripped over my cock and sprained my ankle

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By *lynJMan
2 weeks ago

Morden

"I'm recovering from a "Type A Aortic Dissection" - not made up, but true

Sick note please ?"

I can show you the scars

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By *utdooryoneMan
2 weeks ago

Over there

I've got a fab meet planned...

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By *8warrenMan
2 weeks ago

I caught my foreskin in my trousers zip

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By *tealthbomber2024Man
2 weeks ago

southend-on-sea

Sorry boss, but i got lost on fabswingers and now I can't get out of the forums.

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By *tr8MrEMan
2 weeks ago

Shireoaks, Worksop

Sorry boss, but I superglued my hand to my cock last night and the only way I can free it is by spending all day wanking furiously

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
2 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Too fat and shattered

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By *ee-LiteWoman
2 weeks ago

northampton

I’m feeling so upbeat that I don’t want to waste this feeling by coming into work… I’ll just contact a few fwb’s to enjoy and nurture my good feeling

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By *he ExcaliburMan
2 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I have anal blindness. I can’t see this arse going to work today

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
2 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

I'm dead

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By *aptain obviouslyMan
2 weeks ago

Manchester

New to feed my neighbours cat and replace the sky remote because I dropped it measuring something

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By *agnar73Man
2 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"I have a sprained sock.

My sons used his so much it's snapped in half

Aww no. Crusty.

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By *ripfillMan
2 weeks ago

havant

My duvet is lead lined … couldn’t get the hoist to work

Pinned down all day

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By *ny1localMan
2 weeks ago

READING

"Sorry I can't come to work because...."
I've heart and kidney trouble..heart lazy and kidney be bothered.

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By *issBehave69Man
2 weeks ago

Kilmarnock

Can’t come in sorry, laddered my stockings.

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By *entlemanrogueMan
2 weeks ago

Motherwell

Someone stole my car and k***ed my dog.

yes I was watching John wick recently

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

Because i have been brutally sexualy assaulted by a traffic warden..... put tgat in your return to work haha

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By *allbanger OP Woman
1 week ago

inurbedroom

"I caught my foreskin in my trousers zip "

Ouch

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
1 week ago

Bristol

I broke a fingernail making a daisy chain

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By *ezoMan
1 week ago

The Kingdom

[Removed by poster at 12/11/24 03:52:53]

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By *ezoMan
1 week ago

The Kingdom

I re gently attended a swingers organisation and recognised half of the girls in the office.

It will be awkward for everyone involved.

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By *ezoMan
1 week ago

The Kingdom

I recently*

What the hell is up with my autocorrect?

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By *rthur30Man
1 week ago

Warrington

Sorry I can’t come into work because my testicles are descending/ascending.(delete as appropriate).

… I’ve got stuff coming out of my thingy

… the remote is stuck up my bum

… my Nannas budgie has died

… my budgies Nanna has died

… you can’t stop the children of the revolution

… one day I’ll fly away. It’s today.

… I think I’m gonna be sad, I think it’s today

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By *torm in a G cupWoman
1 week ago

Land of the Long White Cloud

"I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it by coming to work "

I might have to try this one ....

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By *ampire69Man
1 week ago

Birmingham West Midlands

CBA. Can't be arsed

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By *ildTimes777Man
1 week ago

Colchester/London

My great grandma died ...again .,

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