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"I need a reason to get out the house. Mrs " Sack that, get cosy! | |||
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"A personal assistant who will work for hugs." Throw in the odd grope and I might be interested | |||
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"Honestly. Someone to ride me whilst telling me affirmations. I need affirmations today. And I need sex" WHO WANTS TO SHAG MY BOY STEPHEN | |||
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"Another ten hours of sleep please" Me too! | |||
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"I need to go wash and dress for a lunchtime meeting but I just can’t get motivated so I’ll just stay here in my pyjamas with Sheryl crow for another half hour instead " With Sheryl? Get those pyjamas off, nudity is the way to go! | |||
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"A manicure and pedicure please with hand and foot massage. No nail polish though. Also could someone take the stuff we've got ready to the charity warehouse?" Ooh a massage would be delightful | |||
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"Someone to shout at me for procrastinating and not getting the stuff done that needs doing " Sorry, too busy procrastinating on here and not doing my stuff that needs doing. | |||
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"I need more hours in a day." Bad luck. | |||
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"Energy. Yesterday was unusually busy, and I'm fucked today!" Try some ridiculously complicated nipple twisting | |||
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"Energy. Yesterday was unusually busy, and I'm fucked today! Try some ridiculously complicated nipple twisting " I only do that on your Birthday. Oh wait...that's today!!! Happy Birthday Mrs Eggy Nipples 😘😘 xxxx | |||
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"Energy. Yesterday was unusually busy, and I'm fucked today! Try some ridiculously complicated nipple twisting I only do that on your Birthday. Oh wait...that's today!!! Happy Birthday Mrs Eggy Nipples 😘😘 xxxx" Get out | |||
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"Energy. Yesterday was unusually busy, and I'm fucked today! Try some ridiculously complicated nipple twisting I only do that on your Birthday. Oh wait...that's today!!! Happy Birthday Mrs Eggy Nipples 😘😘 xxxx Get out " | |||
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"A personal assistant who will work for hugs." I'd happily work for hugs..... | |||
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"A new body!!" But your tattoos are incredible 😍 | |||
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"Money " Have you tried whoring? | |||
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"That would be telling " That’s the idea of the thread, BumBums | |||
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"Money Have you tried whoring?" I did, but most of the people I propositioned suggested that I should be paying them. | |||
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"My router fixing, as it's running really slowly and the engineer won't be out until Monday. I can either stream, or download, but not both at the same time " Boooo. Have you offered payment in kind to expedite the process? | |||
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"Oh so many things! " Go on, we’re all ears | |||
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"I need to cum! Been edging for a while...but is so much fun!" Do it. Splattery explosion incoming | |||
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"In need not to have a torn quad so I can play rugby on Saturday " Sorry | |||
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"I don't *need* anything but I'd love a pumpkin spice latte and a long lazy day in bed spent with a partner. " Is this the I want, thread, Meli? Is it? | |||
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"A pee.💦" Hope you’ve had one by now! | |||
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"To feel better and for my immune system to sort it’s shit out" Have you tried wanking? | |||
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"Something to stop me sneezing without knocking me out. 🙄" Clothes peg on the nose? | |||
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"My bed 😁 Miss S x" Budge up | |||
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"Some dry clothes and a warm body to cuddle up with" Naked builds body heat faster apparently 🤷♀️ | |||
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"Silk knickers wrapped around my cock! " Best buy some silk knickers then | |||
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"A massage! My legs are in bits " Hop over this way then | |||
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"I need some sleep.lol" Sneaky catnap? | |||
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"Money Have you tried whoring? I did, but most of the people I propositioned suggested that I should be paying them. " Huh. Sell a kidney? | |||
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"My bed 😁 Miss S x Budge up " Would need to do a big budge to accommodate that gorgeous bum 😉 Miss S x | |||
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"Honestly. Someone to ride me whilst telling me affirmations. I need affirmations today. And I need sex WHO WANTS TO SHAG MY BOY STEPHEN" Completely shocked I’ve had no offers. | |||
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"My flight to magically not be delayed" Hurry home to shag me | |||
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"someone to come and rescue me from work. Px🦆" Has anyone offered yet? | |||
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"Someone to do my house work so i can continie to binge criminal minds. " Naked butler? | |||
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"A really tight hug and forehead kisses. I think I'm hungry 😑" Hungry for hugs? Or food? | |||
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"My bed 😁 Miss S x Budge up Would need to do a big budge to accommodate that gorgeous bum 😉 Miss S x" Best get on with it then! | |||
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"Head tickles " Like a cute lil’ puppy? | |||
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"Sofa cuddles and biscuits. " How does a sofa cuddle you? 🤔 | |||
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"Someone to go and bring the bins in to where they live round the back, it's pissing down C xoxo" Yeah good luck, nobody’s offered to do my shopping in the rain either | |||
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"Cuddle and blankets wouldn’t go a miss" Weighted blanket? | |||
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"Well I am trying Mr P x" There we go! Quit your bellyaching young Stephen. | |||
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"Leg in splint so phone sex would be great" Is that a need or a want? | |||
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"Cuddle and blankets wouldn’t go a miss Weighted blanket?" Yes this 😊 just to watch films and be all cosy now, how about you OP? | |||
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"Cuddle and blankets wouldn’t go a miss Weighted blanket? Yes this 😊 just to watch films and be all cosy now, how about you OP?" Actually shifting my arse out the door | |||
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"Cuddle and blankets wouldn’t go a miss Weighted blanket? Yes this 😊 just to watch films and be all cosy now, how about you OP? Actually shifting my arse out the door" Anywhere nice? I’ve just got back from work so happy to be inside dry hence me wanting to be all cosy 😊 | |||
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"Well I am trying Mr P x" I just want you back for good. | |||
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"Well I am trying Mr P x I just want you back for good. " Nice one 🤣🤣🤣 | |||
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"Well I am trying Mr P x I just want you back for good. Nice one 🤣🤣🤣" That’s what they say about my pickle. | |||
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"Well I am trying Mr P x I just want you back for good. Nice one 🤣🤣🤣 That’s what they say about my pickle. " Charmer 😘 | |||
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"Well I am trying Mr P x I just want you back for good. Nice one 🤣🤣🤣 That’s what they say about my pickle. Charmer 😘" I know I’m not lol | |||
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"Well I am trying Mr P x I just want you back for good. Nice one 🤣🤣🤣 That’s what they say about my pickle. Charmer 😘 I know I’m not lol" Hence the no offers | |||
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"Sofa cuddles and biscuits. How does a sofa cuddle you? 🤔" My sofa has arms. 😁 But I meant cuddles on the sofa. Which I'm finally getting now. | |||
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"What do you need right now? I need someone to go and do the big shop for me so I don’t have to go out in the pissing rain Mrs TMN x" Someone to bring me warm chicken soup in bed, hold my hand and tell me this man flu will go | |||
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"I would like to be able to breath through my nose. A whistle would be a bonus." Nose whistle? | |||
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"Sofa cuddles and biscuits. " What kind of biscuits? | |||
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"A nice smooching session with someone, hands up and down my back and him grabbing my butt " I need this. | |||
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"I would like to be able to breath through my nose. A whistle would be a bonus. Nose whistle?" | |||
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"Sex. I need sex. " No games. No flirty jokes. I need to have sex or I’m going to die | |||
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"Sex. I need sex. " I'm keen. If you're keen. HMU | |||
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"Head tickles Like a cute lil’ puppy?" Like a weird stray | |||
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"A nice smooching session with someone, hands up and down my back and him grabbing my butt " I had that last night and it was so much fun | |||
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"I need to be normal" Stay as you are, please. We need an antidote to all the happiness and positivity on here. | |||
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