FabSwingers.com forum: Tell me

By *obilebottom OP Man
24 weeks ago

All over

[Removed by poster at 16/08/24 20:55:49]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obilebottom OP Man
24 weeks ago

All over

a joke please. I need a lift

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issyVikkiTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Co.Antrim

"a joke please. I need a lift

What you call two thieves in a launderette....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obilebottom OP Man
24 weeks ago

All over

"a joke please. I need a lift

What you call two thieves in a launderette...."

I dom't know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asterMeliodasMan
24 weeks ago

Newmill

"a joke please. I need a lift

An elderly couple is lying in bed one night when suddenly the wife jumps up, tears off her clothes, and yells "SUPER PUSSY!"

Her husband replies "I'll have the soup, please."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issyVikkiTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Co.Antrim

"a joke please. I need a lift

What you call two thieves in a launderette....

I dom't know

Knickers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"a joke please. I need a lift

An elderly couple is lying in bed one night when suddenly the wife jumps up, tears off her clothes, and yells "SUPER PUSSY!"

Her husband replies "I'll have the soup, please.""

That's good actually

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issyVikkiTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Co.Antrim

"a joke please. I need a lift

An elderly couple is lying in bed one night when suddenly the wife jumps up, tears off her clothes, and yells "SUPER PUSSY!"

Her husband replies "I'll have the soup, please.""

😅😆🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issyVikkiTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Co.Antrim

The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act.

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it,"

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.

Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.

He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"

He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."

Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."😅🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act.

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it,"

He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."

Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."😅🤣"

Quality lmao

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ChubsMan
24 weeks ago

Avisford Park Hotel Mon 27th & Tues 28th

Pet food manufacturers Pedigree have announced financial troubles.... They've called the retrievers in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
24 weeks ago

Southampton

"a joke please. I need a lift

Have you tried the RAC?? 🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ChubsMan
24 weeks ago

Avisford Park Hotel Mon 27th & Tues 28th

"a joke please. I need a lift

Have you tried the RAC?? 🤣"

Uber maybe 🤷🏼‍♂️

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asterMeliodasMan
24 weeks ago

Newmill

A d*unk walks into a bar carrying a shoebox and says "Hey bartender, if I show you something amazing, will you give me a free drink?"

Bartender shrugs, and says "Well, it'd have to be something pretty amazing. Let's have it."

Guy pulls a rat and a tiny piano out of the shoebox and sets them both on the bar. The rat immediately starts playing the most amazing ragtime piano the bartender has ever heard.

"Wow, that's amazing! Here's your free drink!" The bartender pours the drink.

So the d*unk drinks his drink and says "Hey bartender, if I can show you something even more amazing, will you give me another free drink?"

"Mister, if you can top that piano-playing rat, I'll let you drink for free all night."

So the d*unk reaches into the shoebox and pulls out a frog. As soon as he sets it down, the frog starts singing, perfectly in tune and time with the rat's piano playing.

The bartender starts pouring drinks for the d*unk.

A little while later, a man walks up to the d*unk and says "Hey buddy, I'm a talent agent, and I think your act is fantastic. I'll give you $1000 for the pair."

The d*unk rolls his eyes and slurs "Sorry mishter, they're not for shale."

"Well, how about $500 just for the scat-singing frog then?"

The d*unk thinks for a second and says "You've got a deal." He gives the agent the frog, the agent gives him $500 and walks out of the bar.

The bartender says to him, "Hey man, are you nuts? You had a million-dollar act there, and you broke it up for a measly 500 bucks?"

The d*unk grins at the bartender and says "Don't worry man, the rat's a ventriloquist."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obilebottom OP Man
24 weeks ago

All over

Sorry I have not responded. Thank you all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Why did the sad ghost take the elevator? To lift his spirit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Why is the elevator always sick? It keeps coming down with something.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"Why is the elevator always sick? It keeps coming down with something."

This is a dad joke isn't it?

It's great!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I’ve always had a severe phobia of elevators.

I’ve been taking steps to avoid it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"I’ve always had a severe phobia of elevators.

I’ve been taking steps to avoid it."

Your doing this arnt you?

Your bringing out the dad jokes 🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"I’ve always had a severe phobia of elevators.

I’ve been taking steps to avoid it."

Dad: Someone among us is an owl. Me: Who? Dad: *Narrows eyes suspiciously*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
24 weeks ago

Southampton

"I’ve always had a severe phobia of elevators.

I’ve been taking steps to avoid it."

That's wrong on so many levels lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
24 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman sat in a bar…

They were having a pint when the Englishman’s son walks in. He proudly announces that his sons name is George as he was born on St George’s Day.

The Scotsman’s son walks in and he said his name was Andrew as he was born on St Andrews’s Day.

The Irishman’s son walks in and his dad shouts "come over here Pancake".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"I’ve always had a severe phobia of elevators.

I’ve been taking steps to avoid it.

Your doing this arnt you?

Your bringing out the dad jokes 🤣 "

Shorty in my case it would be mum jokes !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"I’ve always had a severe phobia of elevators.

I’ve been taking steps to avoid it.

That's wrong on so many levels lol"

Wow you too huh.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"I’ve always had a severe phobia of elevators.

I’ve been taking steps to avoid it.

Your doing this arnt you?

Your bringing out the dad jokes 🤣

Shorty in my case it would be mum jokes ! "

your brilliant 🤣

Hope your having a great night!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

If u went camping .and you woke up in the morn with ya pants down ya ankles an a jonny hanging out ur ass who would to tell

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Why was the elevator always joking? Because it liked to push people’s buttons.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohntall123Man
24 weeks ago

Biggleswade

"Why was the elevator always joking? Because it liked to push people’s buttons."

👏 👏👏

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"Why was the elevator always joking? Because it liked to push people’s buttons."

Never hang around with broken elevators. When they hit rock bottom they will take you down with them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aygallaMan
24 weeks ago

newton aycliffe

What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror….

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror…."

Do tell?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aygallaMan
24 weeks ago

newton aycliffe

Halloumi

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"Halloumi"

Fuckin hell I should of known of known that one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Why shouldn’t you use the lift when there’s a fire?

Because you should use a fire extinguisher!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aygallaMan
24 weeks ago

newton aycliffe

Wow that’s a bad one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"Why shouldn’t you use the lift when there’s a fire?

Because you should use a fire extinguisher!"

I'm glad your still at

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

A good pun is like a broken lift…It will never let you down!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir tootMan
24 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"A good pun is like a broken lift…It will never let you down!"

What is it called when you put a cow in an elevator? – Raising the steaks!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ivpoolmanMan
24 weeks ago

Liverpool

"A good pun is like a broken lift…It will never let you down!"

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issBlackedCouple
24 weeks ago

Glasgow

Knock knock

Who's there?

Interrupting Ronaldo

Interrupting Ronaldo wh...

SUUUUUUIIIII

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"A good pun is like a broken lift…It will never let you down!

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets."

Can I play with your Rubik's cube?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ivpoolmanMan
24 weeks ago

Liverpool

"A good pun is like a broken lift…It will never let you down!

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Can I play with your Rubik's cube? "

How long does it take you to get to the finale??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exysquaddieMan
24 weeks ago

derby

What did the cucumber say to the vibratior? Do why your shaking for as she’s going eat me after

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Two windmills were sitting on a hill. One asks the other, "Do you have a favorite song?" The other replies, "Well... all my life I have been a heavy metal fan."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *YDB75Man
24 weeks ago

East Yorkie

2 snowmen in a garden on turns to the other and says “ can you smell carrot “

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Why did the stairs break up with the escalator?

They just couldn’t take the next step.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

My new year’s resolution is to take the stairs instead of the elevator.

I’m starting on the right foot.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread