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" What would you do? " Remember this just what I'd do.... I'd go full Baby Reindeer on his arse..... Now I don't recommend this course of action, as you find yourself on Netflix.... Mr | |||
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"Thanks everyone As far as I’m aware he’s not married, he dosnt have the normal traits of those that are cheating at the moment anyway but who knows on here 🤯" I don’t think there are so called normal traits. People can create any persona they want I think there are two questions 1. Is what he did acceptable to you? 2. How would he react if you’d done the same to him? Don’t allow anyone to act behaviourally in a way that is unacceptable to you | |||
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"If contact was regular beforehand and then suddenly nothing I’d be miffed. Obviously it also depends on the nature of your connection. If it’s not ironed out then perhaps he sees things as a very casual fab fling and not something more like yourself. I’d give him the chance to explain and for you two to talk it out but it definitely raises a couple of warning orange flags. It may be that something genuinely did happen, so I’d definitely want to hear the explanation." ^^ This | |||
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"I suspect he has a wife at home. Although did you tell him you’re besotted with him? That might have scared him off for a while. Has happened with me when someone tells me they have feels and I was looking at them as a fwb… I retreat back and have to give myself time to think about things as I get overwhelmed. " No I’ve not told him that, he’s the one pushing it more saying he’s never felt like this and wasn’t expecting to find it here of all places. I will speak to him about it but I don’t want to then come across like B reindeer Thank you | |||
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"I suspect he has a wife at home. Although did you tell him you’re besotted with him? That might have scared him off for a while. Has happened with me when someone tells me they have feels and I was looking at them as a fwb… I retreat back and have to give myself time to think about things as I get overwhelmed. No I’ve not told him that, he’s the one pushing it more saying he’s never felt like this and wasn’t expecting to find it here of all places. I will speak to him about it but I don’t want to then come across like B reindeer Thank you" For wanting to discuss what you both expect from a relationship? That's not stalking it's mature behaviour | |||
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"Was chatting/facetiming with someone religiously for a few weeks, met had an amazing connection, he wined and dined me, took me away I was besotted and then he just disappeared for a week, nothing, nada, I messaged a few times no response so thought red flag and left it, now he’s back and said sorry crisis at work/family been super busy. Am i wrong in thinking just a quick msg wouldn’t have gone amiss, he seems to think he’s done nothing wrong and we just carry on. What would you do? " Respect is a big thing for us - there are two points respect hasn’t been shown - not letting you know that they were going to be too busy to chat/message. Also him thinking he’s done nothing wrong and just carry on - if he doesn’t think you should be raising this point and you should forgot it suggests there is no respect for your feelings. The flags are there and only him explaining and giving you the time and respect you want is going to be sufficient. K | |||
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"Was chatting/facetiming with someone religiously for a few weeks, met had an amazing connection, he wined and dined me, took me away I was besotted and then he just disappeared for a week, nothing, nada, I messaged a few times no response so thought red flag and left it, now he’s back and said sorry crisis at work/family been super busy. Am i wrong in thinking just a quick msg wouldn’t have gone amiss, he seems to think he’s done nothing wrong and we just carry on. What would you do? " OP this is a swingers site.. becoming besotted with someone after a few weeks is a bit much. He's free to do whatever he likes as much as you are. He might not have anywhere close to the feels you do and be simply going about life, he might not realise you've got fanny flutters day and night, he might be hiding 3 wives - it's anyone's guess. Believe him or don't, give him a chance or don't but falling head over heels that quick sounds like you've just lost your first meet virginity. | |||
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"I suspect he has a wife at home. Although did you tell him you’re besotted with him? That might have scared him off for a while. Has happened with me when someone tells me they have feels and I was looking at them as a fwb… I retreat back and have to give myself time to think about things as I get overwhelmed. No I’ve not told him that, he’s the one pushing it more saying he’s never felt like this and wasn’t expecting to find it here of all places. I will speak to him about it but I don’t want to then come across like B reindeer Thank you" So you were both besotted then. Meets aren't like what they used to be | |||
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" Can you imagine his distress if his wife or his kids had become ill, they need his full time attention. " Obviously if that were the case, he can't care that much about them if he's swinging behind her back...that's a tad hypocritical | |||
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"Whatever this sort of thing happens to me. I think about the amount of time my three boys ( 16,18,20) sit on the toilet with their phone and I'm sorry but if a grown ass man can't spend 30 seconds of that 5 minutes that they spend sat on the toilet with their phone just to send me a message and say " i'm sorry things are a bit hectic at the moment. I'll be in contact when I can then." He really isn't worth it!! " Valid point. I do all my fabmin on the toilet 😂 | |||
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"Was chatting/facetiming with someone religiously for a few weeks, met had an amazing connection, he wined and dined me, took me away I was besotted and then he just disappeared for a week, nothing, nada, I messaged a few times no response so thought red flag and left it, now he’s back and said sorry crisis at work/family been super busy. Am i wrong in thinking just a quick msg wouldn’t have gone amiss, he seems to think he’s done nothing wrong and we just carry on. What would you do? OP this is a swingers site.. becoming besotted with someone after a few weeks is a bit much. He's free to do whatever he likes as much as you are. He might not have anywhere close to the feels you do and be simply going about life, he might not realise you've got fanny flutters day and night, he might be hiding 3 wives - it's anyone's guess. Believe him or don't, give him a chance or don't but falling head over heels that quick sounds like you've just lost your first meet virginity. " Thank you for your advice but I can assure you I’m well versed in how this lifestyle works | |||
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"Was chatting/facetiming with someone religiously for a few weeks, met had an amazing connection, he wined and dined me, took me away I was besotted and then he just disappeared for a week, nothing, nada, I messaged a few times no response so thought red flag and left it, now he’s back and said sorry crisis at work/family been super busy. Am i wrong in thinking just a quick msg wouldn’t have gone amiss, he seems to think he’s done nothing wrong and we just carry on. What would you do? " Trust your instincts! There is always time to message. Make sure you enjoy yourself and don't wait for him. | |||
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"As Maya Angelou said 'when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time'" YES!!! This is one of my favourite quotes!! | |||
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"Everyone deserves better then to be ghosted, Remember you are beautiful and never forget it. The right kinda guy or gal is around the corner " THIS | |||
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"Was chatting/facetiming with someone religiously for a few weeks, met had an amazing connection, he wined and dined me, took me away I was besotted and then he just disappeared for a week, nothing, nada, I messaged a few times no response so thought red flag and left it, now he’s back and said sorry crisis at work/family been super busy. Am i wrong in thinking just a quick msg wouldn’t have gone amiss, he seems to think he’s done nothing wrong and we just carry on. What would you do? " Red flag 🚩 it seems like it’s normal for him to just disappear like that 🤦🏻♀️ | |||
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"Was chatting/facetiming with someone religiously for a few weeks, met had an amazing connection, he wined and dined me, took me away I was besotted and then he just disappeared for a week, nothing, nada, I messaged a few times no response so thought red flag and left it, now he’s back and said sorry crisis at work/family been super busy. Am i wrong in thinking just a quick msg wouldn’t have gone amiss, he seems to think he’s done nothing wrong and we just carry on. What would you do? " Depends on the relationship I guess, was a commitment made? Is he aware of your feelings? Does he reciprocate? Before you go blazing maybe find out what the relationship means to him and then explore that together. Lay boundaries, expectations out and go from there. It could well be he has had stuff going on. Who knows but I agree, it doesn't take much to message. Especially if he's been online in the meantime | |||
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"If he is truly into you, he would have found a way of getting in touch. Am I right guys? " Yep. The means of communication is literally at our fingertips constantly. | |||
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" Can you imagine his distress if his wife or his kids had become ill, they need his full time attention. Obviously if that were the case, he can't care that much about them if he's swinging behind her back...that's a tad hypocritical " Not if he "loves his wife, but"... | |||
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"Married or in a relationship. You were a pleasant distraction." This. | |||
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" Can you imagine his distress if his wife or his kids had become ill, they need his full time Obviously if that were the case, he can't care that much about them if he's swinging behind her back...that's a tad hypocritical " Of course it's hypocritical but men, women and couples on here tell lies as sometimes telling the truth will be counter productive when trying to meet for sex. It's a swinging site. | |||
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"I suspect he has a wife at home. Although did you tell him you’re besotted with him? That might have scared him off for a while. Has happened with me when someone tells me they have feels and I was looking at them as a fwb… I retreat back and have to give myself time to think about things as I get overwhelmed. No I’ve not told him that, he’s the one pushing it more saying he’s never felt like this and wasn’t expecting to find it here of all places. I will speak to him about it but I don’t want to then come across like B reindeer Thank you" Yes I think you're being played. Someone saying they've never felt this way before might have been an in the moment thing...but..to then disappear for a week? I couldn't be arsed with that. I'd be expecting him to do something shady again and it would spoil it for me. | |||
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"Married or in a relationship. You were a pleasant distraction." 100% this | |||
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"Was chatting/facetiming with someone religiously for a few weeks, met had an amazing connection, he wined and dined me, took me away I was besotted and then he just disappeared for a week, nothing, nada, I messaged a few times no response so thought red flag and left it, now he’s back and said sorry crisis at work/family been super busy. Am i wrong in thinking just a quick msg wouldn’t have gone amiss, he seems to think he’s done nothing wrong and we just carry on. What would you do? " Confront him and tell him how it made you feel. Depending how he responds depends on your actionbgoing forward. He could have been totally oblivious and caught up in everything, he may not have. Tell him how it made you feel and then how he responds, will tell you what you need to know . | |||
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"Does love bombing and breadcrumbing involve meals out and being taken away. Or does love bombing and breadcrumbing just mean you get someone besotted and not reply. (I never want to flirt again). " Love bombing is someone going to extremes, being way over the top, clingy, full on, sometimes gifts etc. Then they usually withdraw with no warning. Way different to flirting | |||
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"Was chatting/facetiming with someone religiously for a few weeks, met had an amazing connection, he wined and dined me, took me away I was besotted and then he just disappeared for a week, nothing, nada, I messaged a few times no response so thought red flag and left it, now he’s back and said sorry crisis at work/family been super busy. Am i wrong in thinking just a quick msg wouldn’t have gone amiss, he seems to think he’s done nothing wrong and we just carry on. What would you do? " Definitely a red flag. Avoid at all costs. A text takes two minutes. It would seem to me that he has something to hide. Be careful | |||
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"Was chatting/facetiming with someone religiously for a few weeks, met had an amazing connection, he wined and dined me, took me away I was besotted and then he just disappeared for a week, nothing, nada, I messaged a few times no response so thought red flag and left it, now he’s back and said sorry crisis at work/family been super busy. Am i wrong in thinking just a quick msg wouldn’t have gone amiss, he seems to think he’s done nothing wrong and we just carry on. What would you do? " He is just letting you know they you are bottom of rung when it comes to his actual life priorities and values. Personally I’d just move on or just say maybe I’ll meet you at a club sometime if I am going I’ll let you know | |||
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"Does love bombing and breadcrumbing involve meals out and being taken away. Or does love bombing and breadcrumbing just mean you get someone besotted and not reply. (I never want to flirt again). Love bombing is someone going to extremes, being way over the top, clingy, full on, sometimes gifts etc. Then they usually withdraw with no warning. Way different to flirting " Love bombing can come in different forms, doesn't have to be meals out etc, it can be just as simple as constant messages, making out like you are the only one and then boom, gets the goods and gone until the next time but leaves you in a state of "I want more" (hence the breadcrumbing) and keeps you just at arms length until he wants to reel you back in again, it's a vicious cycle and took me the best part of 18 months, therapy, god knows what you actually feel like I was living a semi normal life again. | |||
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"Does love bombing and breadcrumbing involve meals out and being taken away. Or does love bombing and breadcrumbing just mean you get someone besotted and not reply. (I never want to flirt again). Love bombing is someone going to extremes, being way over the top, clingy, full on, sometimes gifts etc. Then they usually withdraw with no warning. Way different to flirting " | |||
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"Does love bombing and breadcrumbing involve meals out and being taken away. Or does love bombing and breadcrumbing just mean you get someone besotted and not reply. (I never want to flirt again). Love bombing is someone going to extremes, being way over the top, clingy, full on, sometimes gifts etc. Then they usually withdraw with no warning. Way different to flirting Love bombing can come in different forms, doesn't have to be meals out etc, it can be just as simple as constant messages, making out like you are the only one and then boom, gets the goods and gone until the next time but leaves you in a state of "I want more" (hence the breadcrumbing) and keeps you just at arms length until he wants to reel you back in again, it's a vicious cycle and took me the best part of 18 months, therapy, god knows what you actually feel like I was living a semi normal life again." You had me at semi | |||
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