FabSwingers.com forum: Do you ever...

By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

...look at your life and wonder how you got to where you are, in a good or a bad way? Like - if you're in a fulfilling, sexually open relationship with someone you love which you hadn't thought possible, or have a fabulous job you didn't even know you wanted, or if on the other hand you've somehow found yourself without the things you expected to have?

Or has life followed a fairly straight path in the direction you have expected?

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

"...look at your life and wonder how you got to where you are, in a good or a bad way? Like - if you're in a fulfilling, sexually open relationship with someone you love which you hadn't thought possible, or have a fabulous job you didn't even know you wanted, or if on the other hand you've somehow found yourself without the things you expected to have?

Or has life followed a fairly straight path in the direction you have expected? "

No, Er yes perhaps no

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By *ell GwynnWoman
18 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

That's quite a question...

Honestly, I've generally had zero expectations as the majority of my life, until a few years ago, was purely about surviving. Therefore, I'm utterly delighted to have what I have now, be where I am. It's really rather good.

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

"That's quite a question...

I'm delighted for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

I used to have imposter syndrome, which is common amongst females

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By *ell GwynnWoman
18 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

"That's quite a question...

I'm delighted for you. "

Thank you.

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By *hilloutMan
18 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Oh goodness. It's taken such unexpected twists and turns.

I'd say it's had 3 distinct chapters that could be considered separate lives in their own right.

Fortunately they've not possessed much strife or drama. All things considered, I'm quite happy with the road this eventful ride has taken me to

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

"I used to have imposter syndrome, which is common amongst females "

But you don't anymore? I do hope not.

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

"Oh goodness. It's taken such unexpected twists and turns.

I'd say it's had 3 distinct chapters that could be considered separate lives in their own right.

Fortunately they've not possessed much strife or drama. All things considered, I'm quite happy with the road this eventful ride has taken me to

Good to hear!

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By *ucka39Man
18 weeks ago

Newcastle

I'm grateful to get as far as I have, just wish it wasn't jumping through hoops

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By *searchingMan
18 weeks ago

hmmm

I feel like the path my life has taken was mapped out by a pinball, flying around at different speeds and crazy angles. It’s not bad though, sometimes I even feel like I might get a high score

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By *asterMeliodasMan
18 weeks ago

Newmill

I used to genuinely think I would never find someone and likely wouldn't get married. A 14-year relationship and 10-year marriage later, I barely remember life before her. And the number of small events that had to have happened in a particular way to lead up to us being together is insane when I sit and add them all up.

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By *929Man
18 weeks ago

newcastle

Yes I quite often ask the photo of my dad how it came to this and is this what life is meant to be when having a bad night when it’s particularly lonely and house feels “empty”

I look back at the last few years nov 2021 end of 15 year relationship, July 2022 heart attack, aug 2022 death of lifelong friend, end of another relationship early 2023 and now being diagnose with bastard diabetes I think where did it all go do wrong haha

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By *ensible lady 1960Woman
18 weeks ago

Near Bishop Auckland.

well i have two ex husband's.one drank. The other liked men. I went blind in one eye in my twenties. Got knocked down last year and fractured my ankle.oh and now i have to be careful i dont get diabetes type2. So no i didnt expect all that.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
18 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

We met each other on here 4 years ago after not wanting a relationship at all.

Had you said you’d be watching a partner have sex with others and you’ll be fine with it, I’d have laughed! Yet here we are, sharing this incredible journey and having a stronger relationship because of it 😍

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

"We met each other on here 4 years ago after not wanting a relationship at all.

Sounds amazing!

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

"well i have two ex husband's.one drank. The other liked men. I went blind in one eye in my twenties. Got knocked down last year and fractured my ankle.oh and now i have to be careful i dont get diabetes type2. So no i didnt expect all that."

That's a rough time. I hope it improves for you soon.

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

"Yes I quite often ask the photo of my dad how it came to this and is this what life is meant to be when having a bad night when it’s particularly lonely and house feels “empty”

Sorry to read that. That's a seriously tough time. I hope you catch a break soon.

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

"I used to genuinely think I would never find someone and likely wouldn't get married. A 14-year relationship and 10-year marriage later, I barely remember life before her. And the number of small events that had to have happened in a particular way to lead up to us being together is insane when I sit and add them all up."

That's fantastic!

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
18 weeks ago

Essex

I look at my life and smile.

I’m fucking lucky x

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By *cflirtyMan
18 weeks ago

hants/ w sussex border

I am blessed! Life rambled on fairly meaninglessly and then 3 years ago I had an accident! Ended up with plenty of re hab and was helped through it by fab friends especially. A pacemaker later and I'm healthy, pretty fit and loving life and great fab friends

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

"I look at my life and smile.

I’m fucking lucky x"

That's brilliant to hear Misty.

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

"I am blessed! Life rambled on fairly meaninglessly and then 3 years ago I had an accident! Ended up with plenty of re hab and was helped through it by fab friends especially. A pacemaker later and I'm healthy, pretty fit and loving life and great fab friends"

I'm pleased that you're on the mend!

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

A few years ago it was touch and go whether I'd still be here or not so I definitely class myself as one of the lucky ones. I don't have much but what I do I am seriously grateful for

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

I often find myself thinking about the next accomplishment, always wanting more and when I get it, it just doesn't fulfill anything, if anything, it panics me how fast time goes and just wanting to see and do more but feeling powerless in all of it! I find I'm bored often and it's like a default position!

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By *cflirtyMan
18 weeks ago

hants/ w sussex border

I'm pleased that you're on the mend!"

Oh I'm mended thanks

And these lovely people here have helped... especially in the forums xxxx

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
18 weeks ago

somewhere

This is something I always struggle with, wondering how I ended up where I am.

10 years ago my first marriage ended and my boys lived with their dad, two are autistic so made sense to stay at home with the primary caregiver at the time, instead of throwing them into chaos even further. However over the past ten years I have felt less and less like a mother, they are all adults now and I very often see folk that have great relationships with their kids and think "I wish I had that" and hence why I think "how have I ended up here". The good news is, over the past six months things have improved with two out of the three and I don't think we would ever have a close relationship but I am taking one day at a time x

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By *affron40Woman
18 weeks ago

manchester

God that’s a really tricky one. I’m 48 and not remotely where I thought I would be. It’s been a really tough road but I’m weirdly at peace for the first time in years. Not where I want to be. But really grateful to still have the opportunity to get there.

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By *929Man
18 weeks ago

newcastle

"Yes I quite often ask the photo of my dad how it came to this and is this what life is meant to be when having a bad night when it’s particularly lonely and house feels “empty”

Sorry to read that. That's a seriously tough time. I hope you catch a break soon."

Thank you mate, neither good times or bad times last forever I’m sure it will change at some point

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

"This is something I always struggle with, wondering how I ended up where I am.

Glad to hear that things are improving, I hope they continue to do so.

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
18 weeks ago

Manchester

"God that’s a really tricky one. I’m 48 and not remotely where I thought I would be. It’s been a really tough road but I’m weirdly at peace for the first time in years. Not where I want to be. But really grateful to still have the opportunity to get there.

That's a great attitude to have. I'm glad you've found that peace, even if by an unexpected route.

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By *viatrixWoman
17 weeks ago

Redhill

Took me a long damn time, but I am quite happy to be in the position I am in life right now.

Most of my youth was a hell of a struggle and the child rearing years were too damn long and absorbing haha

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By *ddie1966Man
17 weeks ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

I've often thought what if?, but in reality, if things had been a little different, I wouldn't be the contented person I am now.

I little more money wouldn't hurt though...

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By *inxy777Woman
17 weeks ago

essex

It started well, happy, contented and life was so good!! Then it changed and well not in a good way, but I have survived, and still here!! Is it good now,? some things are, some not!! It has made me a stronger person for sure. It’s not how I thought it would be, but is what it is. X

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I look at life as the outcome of what I’ve put in, the experiences I’ve had, and how I’ve reacted to them.

I try not to think why me? How did this end up being part of my story? Who is looking down at me and laughing through this? Or any other similar negative thoughts. Try is the keyword there.

Professionally, I am where I am because of the dedication and hard work I put in to my business and career.

In life, my experiences and those who have been a part of my life have made me the person I am today. It’s not been all roses but I wouldn’t want to have lived a different life either. I remind myself daily everything happens for a reason. I may never find out that reason. I may spend a lifetime trying to understand the reason. But everything has happened in one way or another to remind me I’m still alive and can keep going.

Along the way here typing my response, I think I’ve lost traction of whatever my point was. Oh well. I’m on to the ten other things occupying my brain at the moment. 🤷🏽‍♀️ The joys of my inability to focus on one thing at a time.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
17 weeks ago

Colchester

I kind of take a pragmatic view and realise I am on a downward curve now towards the long goodnight, and I am ok and reconciled with that. It is what it is and I've had fun along the way. Still having fun. Still make plans, but pragmatic enough to know they can change in an instant.

I kind of take comfort that matter can't be created out of nothing (we'll save the Big Bang for another time), so I was here atomically speaking right at the beginning, and I'll be here right until the end (and my atoms will undergo some form of transmutation). So all in all, I'm not that fussed. (I am a nihilist. I'm not religious, but I do expect my atoms change state at some point. Obviously not connected to my current state of consciousness, but I think watching my atoms blow around for eternity might get a tad tiresome).

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
17 weeks ago

Leeds

With having a traumatic upbringing then more shit in my early 20's it's hard not to think why me, and what if that all didn't happen, would I be different & the answer is yes I most definitely would, my past has shaped me to be who I am & it's pushed me to be better, but it's also left many scars.

Right now is a bit of a slump but I know that won't last forever I've been through worse and come out the other end.

I do try not to dwell but it's tricky ptsd and all.

Right now all that matters is my husband loves me, the kids are healthy & happy and we have a roof over our head & for my little family I'm extremely grateful.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

^ for MrsCoffee.

‘ just because it could’ve been different it doesn’t mean it would’ve been better’

That’s something, I always tell myself, and it keeps me appreciate and the person that I’ve become, and the people that I have around me.

You’re a wonderful person and that’s because of who you are not because of what bad people around you were.

answering the OP, I’ve changed and grown into the person I am, and I’m very happy with who I am right now. We are supposed to change and grow, if you are not, have you even been learning anything about yourself?

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