FabSwingers.com forum: The dad joke/pun thread

By *asterMeliodas OP Man
over a year ago

Newmill

[Removed by poster at 23/07/24 23:28:58]

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By *asterMeliodas OP Man
over a year ago

Newmill

If you're into full groan jokes, this is the thread for it! Post your best dad jokes, puns, and one liners. I'll go first.

I was delighted when I got home to find someone had taken all my lamps.

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By *ustMe1982Man
over a year ago

Here, there and everywhere inbetween

50% off all medieval punishment items... Hurry while stocks last.

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By *till gameMan
over a year ago

Oldham

What do you call a Scotsman that’s nearly home - hamish

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By *yronutMan
over a year ago

St Austell

2 parrots sitting on a perch….. One says to the other…. Can you smell fish!!

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

I never trust stairs.

They're always up to something.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Wat did the guitarist call his 4 daughters?

Anna 1

Anna 2

Anna 3

Anna 4

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By *ickie76XXXMan
over a year ago

dartford

What’s the difference between a good pizza joke and a bad pizza joke????

The delivery

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By *lanitMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

What's winnie the poos granny called?

Poonani

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Where do bad rainbows go?

To prism

They get a light sentence though and plenty of time for reflection.

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By *rbanExplorerMan
over a year ago

East lDN

what do gay horses eat ?

Hayyyyyyyyyyy

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

I bought my daughter a leather bag from Iran

and she said

Thanks for the Bagdad!!!!

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I went to the pharmacy and asked for some deodorant.

"Aerosol or ball?", the parmacist asked.

"Neither, it's for my armpits".

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By *oadsafun1960Man
over a year ago

Somerset & Hertfordshire

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I said "you're starting to sound like my wife"

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By *asterMeliodas OP Man
over a year ago

Newmill

The other day my wife said to me "I've had enough of your obsession with detective novels; I think we should split up."

"Good idea!" I said excitedly. "We can cover more ground that way!"

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By *ust of the LibertineMan
over a year ago

Maesteg

My girlfriend asked if I'd seen the dog bowl.

I said "I didn't know he could"

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

My girlfriend said she was sick of me quoting Oasis lyrics constantly and asked me to stop. I said ‘maybeeeeee’

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By *ust of the LibertineMan
over a year ago

Maesteg

What do you call a sheep that can sing and dance?

Lady Ba Ba

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By *oadsafun1960Man
over a year ago

Somerset & Hertfordshire

My girlfriend said I don't buy her flowers

To be fair I didn't know she sold them!

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By *agic johnsonMan
over a year ago

morden

I went to buy a Christmas tree today , the guy said are you putting it up yourself ? I said no it's going in the living room

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By *rRiosMan
over a year ago

dublin

"Where do bad rainbows go?

To prism

They get a light sentence though and plenty of time for reflection.

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By *rRiosMan
over a year ago

dublin

What genre of music do North Koreans listen to?

K-propaganda

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was in a pub last night. A guy asked me if I wanted to buy 8 legs of venison from him for £100.

I said "Sorry mate, that's too dear"

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost

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By *asterMeliodas OP Man
over a year ago

Newmill

I went to a Scottish wedding the other day. As we were waiting for the bride to arrive, I noticed the groom was wearing a nice-looking kilt and asked "What's the tartan?"

"Oh, she's just wearing a white dress," he replied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad always carried a comb with him.

Although he was bald.

He just couldn't part with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two fish in a tank.

One says to the other "have you got a license to drive this thing?"

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By *abluesbabyMan
over a year ago

Gibraltar/Cheshire/London

Someone said to me the other day that they didn't understand all that cloning malarkey.

I said makes two of us.

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By *asterMeliodas OP Man
over a year ago

Newmill

I went to a friend's funeral. "Can I say a word?" I asked his wife. She nodded.

"Plethora," I said.

"Thanks," she replied. "That means a lot."

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By *hunkyfella79Man
over a year ago

Toon

Why was the roman solider smiling with a hair between his teeth .....

He glad-he-ate-her

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By *asterMeliodas OP Man
over a year ago

Newmill

I was really enjoying the butter I had with my meal, so I let the chef know, but he told me it was ghee.

I thanked him for clarifying.

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By *angtidy42Couple
over a year ago

Redditch

What's the difference between 3 cocks and a joke?

Tracy can't take a joke.

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By *ostindreamsMan
over a year ago

London

Where did the IT guy go?

He ransomware.

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By *asterMeliodas OP Man
over a year ago

Newmill

"Where did the IT guy go?

He ransomware."

Why did the programmer quit his job?

He didn't get arrays.

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