FabSwingers.com forum: Fornication With Food

By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

Dear menfolk of the lounge. May I ask what is your favourite perishable to penetrate?

I have been putting much thought, and research, into the most pleasurable sensation I can achieve in the comfort of my sleek designed kitchen.

I began my journey in the fruit aisle of Waitrose, where I purchased a wonderfully ripe melon. Whilst an erotic feeling at first, I found it to puddle around my expensive shoes.

I next tried the Beluga caviar, alas the jar is a little stumpy. And whilst the tiny balls caressed my appendage I needed something slightly firmer.

Which bring me to my new favourite purchase. A jar of Nutella, refrigerated for 2-3 hours. This part is very important. Lukewarm is far too sloppy.

The best part is I get to enjoy a treat afterwards. An exceptionally erotic experience.

So pray do tell gentlemen. What is your recommendation for my next perishable purchase?

*wipes Nutella from around mouth*

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

...

Blocked.

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"...

Blocked."

My Goth-Frock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

Blocked."

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

o o OO o o

Is there video footage of this? For research purposes, obviously.

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Is there video footage of this? For research purposes, obviously."

•

Only via PM.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remind me not to accept an offer of a home cooked meal from you…

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
over a year ago

Not in your area

If it was Waitrose that melon obviously would have cost about £24.99 as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please do not make the mistake I made with a bag of sugar Nero.

Very painful and the most troublesome clean up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A champagne, very cold cream, chocolates and strawberries have been employed many times in some form of food & temperature play.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

See if you can smash one of those hole-free doughnuts filled with custard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say doughnuts but the holes are just too small for it to be feasible

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

London

Howling

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

o o OO o o

Flicking peanut m&ms from bellybutton to mouth can provide excitement and a slight danger element.

Will you get to suck that bad boy or will it be an emergency trip to the dentist with a cracked tooth. Ahhh the risk of it all!

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

I'm lost for words, Nero

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Remind me not to accept an offer of a home cooked meal from you…"

•

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Please do not make the mistake I made with a bag of sugar Nero.

Very painful and the most troublesome clean up "

You’re not supposed to heat it up first

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Such a filthy mare

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By *ortySwitchMan
over a year ago

london

A jar of Nutella? Hmm, may need ot try that.

So far the only foods I have put my "self" in have been...

.. A melon. Warmed up first. Fely good, but didn't last.

A large orange. good for head play

A Grapefruit. Again, warmed up, with one end cut off, and placed between the matress and the bed frame. It was my frst fuck toy! I even introduced it to my friends.

A chocoilate eclair! My GF at the time loved eclairs, so thought i would treat her! Instead she entered the room, saw me, and collapsed to the floor in histerics, while i lay there starkers with just a cram filled eclair. Certainly memorable.

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By *arkSovereignMan
over a year ago

Lancashire

"Dear menfolk of the lounge. May I ask what is your favourite perishable to penetrate?

I have been putting much thought, and research, into the most pleasurable sensation I can achieve in the comfort of my sleek designed kitchen.

I began my journey in the fruit aisle of Waitrose, where I purchased a wonderfully ripe melon. Whilst an erotic feeling at first, I found it to puddle around my expensive shoes.

I next tried the Beluga caviar, alas the jar is a little stumpy. And whilst the tiny balls caressed my appendage I needed something slightly firmer.

Which bring me to my new favourite purchase. A jar of Nutella, refrigerated for 2-3 hours. This part is very important. Lukewarm is far too sloppy.

The best part is I get to enjoy a treat afterwards. An exceptionally erotic experience.

So pray do tell gentlemen. What is your recommendation for my next perishable purchase?

*wipes Nutella from around mouth*"

Do you feast on whatever remains afterwards?

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"If it was Waitrose that melon obviously would have cost about £24.99 as well "

•

Yes, but it was ordered via Ocado™ and they slap on a hefty 74½% markup.

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Please do not make the mistake I made with a bag of sugar Nero.

Very painful and the most troublesome clean up "

•

Demerara or castor? It's all about the coarseness.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

* purchases a years supply of Nutella

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Such a filthy mare

Howling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was lead to believe, some time ago from an acquaintance of course, warm mince in a pringles tube had the same feel as when he penetrated his ex girlfriend.

This is not scientifically proven of course

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"A champagne, very cold cream, chocolates and strawberries have been employed many times in some form of food & temperature play.

•

I have employed (and deployed) a bottle of Champagne (Taittinger™ always seems to work best) over a fine quim and a décollatage.

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"See if you can smash one of those hole-free doughnuts filled with custard. "

•

KC² — if there is no høle then where is the glory?!?

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Howling

•

I miss you Déé. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Please do not make the mistake I made with a bag of sugar Nero.

Very painful and the most troublesome clean up

•

Demerara or castor? It's all about the coarseness."

Silver spoon granular, spiteful stuff

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

Can I watch you penetrate a kebab? No chilli sauce because we don't want to tickle your pickle

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Flicking peanut m&ms from bellybutton to mouth can provide excitement and a slight danger element.

Will you get to suck that bad boy or will it be an emergency trip to the dentist with a cracked tooth. Ahhh the risk of it all! "

•

May you please kindly demonstrate?

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"I'm lost for words, Nero

•

I'm turning a new page, Willy. I've been told I need to be more sassy.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"I'm lost for words, Nero

•

I'm turning a new page, Willy. I've been told I need to be more sassy."

Impossible. Fact

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle? "

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Such a filthy mare

•

I hate you Såff'. I'd still bonk you though...with a Little Gem.

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle? "

•

FFS!

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Can I watch you penetrate a kebab? No chilli sauce because we don't want to tickle your pickle

•

Only if we engage in Pilau Talk afterwards.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle?

•

FFS!

What?!?!? I’ve no bloody idea why these questions pop into my head!!!

But have you?

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle? "

I guy I worked did, at a Christmas works do.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle?

I guy I worked did, at a Christmas works do. "

Ffs

did he eat it?

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle?

•

FFS!

What?!?!? I’ve no bloody idea why these questions pop into my head!!!

But have you?"

•

You have a lot of unorthodox questions, Såff'. How about I answer them in the cloaked vestibule at The Royal Academy?

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"I was lead to believe, some time ago from an acquaintance of course, warm mince in a pringles tube had the same feel as when he penetrated his ex girlfriend.

This is not scientifically proven of course"

•

Is the all anecdotal??

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle?

•

FFS!

What?!?!? I’ve no bloody idea why these questions pop into my head!!!

But have you?

•

You have a lot of unorthodox questions, Såff'. How about I answer them in the cloaked vestibule at The Royal Academy?

I’m a very unorthodox kind of chick Nero.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle?

I guy I worked did, at a Christmas works do.

Ffs

did he eat it? "

I dunno. But if he did, he should used a spoon like everyone else

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle?

I guy I worked did, at a Christmas works do.

Ffs

did he eat it?

I dunno. But if he did, he should used a spoon like everyone else

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Where do you sit on warm apple pie, Nerø?

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Where do you sit on warm apple pie, Nerø?"

•

On the crust, at the periphery, KC².

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle?

•

FFS!

What?!?!? I’ve no bloody idea why these questions pop into my head!!!

But have you?

•

You have a lot of unorthodox questions, Såff'. How about I answer them in the cloaked vestibule at The Royal Academy?

I’m a very unorthodox kind of chick Nero. "

•

This is sooooo true.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Where do you sit on warm apple pie, Nerø?

•

On the crust, at the periphery, KC².

Disappointing. I hope you'd be taking the Deep Plunge

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Turnips are firm. No puddles.

You can't go wrong with a turnip.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was lead to believe, some time ago from an acquaintance of course, warm mince in a pringles tube had the same feel as when he penetrated his ex girlfriend.

This is not scientifically proven of course"

Strong 'asking for a friend' vibes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Turnips are firm. No puddles.

You can't go wrong with a turnip.

You can if you sit on one.

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By *nnCeeWoman
over a year ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"Nero, have you ever shagged a trifle?

I guy I worked did, at a Christmas works do. "

Did it have a layer of browned mince beef and onions, and some petit pois?

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Turnips are firm. No puddles.

You can't go wrong with a turnip.

You can if you sit on one."

I think that's bayonets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe some Yorkshire folk are fond of lamb.

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By *icky KlungespeareMan
over a year ago

St Leonards

I find using ugli fruit like a fleshlight is a beautiful experience OP.

When I say "use", I do mean ask for consent first, of course.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

A DEEP dish Chicago pizza?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This reminds of an interesting video of three men eating watermelon *passionately* at a wedding

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Such a filthy mare

•

I hate you Såff'. I'd still bonk you though...with a Little Gem.

Is that the lettuce or just your penile nom de plume? Asking for a friend (who wants to know what to scream after wiping the Nutella off)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"A DEEP dish Chicago pizza? "

They're volcanially hot in the middle though

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"A DEEP dish Chicago pizza?

They're volcanially hot in the middle though

No kink shaming KC

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I find a firm, well-shaped courgette goes a long way...

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

I got her to squirt Tescos finest custard (real vanilla seeds) in my mouth from her anus (I recommend the large bore Veterinarian syringes rather than the cake decorating icing piping bags).

I then washed that down with a fine champagne dribbled from the nape of her neck, down her back, down the crack of her bubble butt and into my waiting mouth poised at her clit.

Follow me I’m Delicious

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"Such a filthy mare

•

I hate you Såff'. I'd still bonk you though...with a Little Gem.

Is that the lettuce or just your penile nom de plume? Asking for a friend (who wants to know what to scream after wiping the Nutella off) "

•

Dee, I've known you for three years now. Is our slow burn going to culminate with a fast bonk, over Nutella™ ?

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

I was hoping this thread would be killed by now. Help MØDs!

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"A DEEP dish Chicago pizza?

They're volcanially hot in the middle though

•

KC², you hypocrite! For someone who goes through 'Nduja pizza like it's going out of fashion...!

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"I was hoping this thread would be killed by now. Help MØDs!

It’s going to live forever. Just like JJ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/07/24 12:06:20]

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By *vaRoseWoman
over a year ago

Ankh-Morpork

Have you tried a pot of kfc gravy and mash with a drumstick buttplug?

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Chop the end's off a pineapple, use a corer to take out the correct girth, I reckon that would be a sweet juicy shag.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"I was hoping this thread would be killed by now. Help MØDs!

Chicken. Do you not have any updates on future food options to fornicate with Nero???

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Rummage Up The Jumper

In the interests of science i tried with a scotch bonnet pepper condom for a spicy posh wank… im now no longer interested in science……..

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

"Have you tried a pot of kfc gravy and mash with a drumstick buttplug? "

Original Recipe ?

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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Soho

"I was hoping this thread would be killed by now. Help MØDs!

Chicken. Do you not have any updates on future food options to fornicate with Nero??? "

•

You're an incorrigible trouble maker, Saffrøn!

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By *vaRoseWoman
over a year ago

Ankh-Morpork

"Have you tried a pot of kfc gravy and mash with a drumstick buttplug?

Original Recipe ? "

Hot and spicy could be fun

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