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"Define “old”… Oh, I’m younger than you so I’m safe "Define "safe" | |||
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"Define “old”… Oh, I’m younger than you so I’m safe
Define "safe""From meeting your definition of old? Unless of course you think yourself old 
We won’t talk about the definition of “desperate”  | |||
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"Fancy a below par fuck? World cup willy said this would work" Below par sounds a bit too good and energetic for me, I'm looking for an underwhelming fuck at the moment | |||
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"Fancy a below par fuck? World cup willy said this would work Below par sounds a bit too good and energetic for me, I'm looking for an underwhelming fuck at the moment " Those are my speciality! | |||
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"Define “old”… Oh, I’m younger than you so I’m safe "Can’t believe I’m in the presence of fab page 1 greatness :p | |||
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"...Oh, I’m younger than you so I’m safe "Not necessarily, I'm very old, so there are people younger than me who are just 'old' | |||
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"Fancy a below par fuck?" Being pedantic, wouldn't half of all fucks be below par? | |||
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"Define “old”… Oh, I’m younger than you so I’m safe
Can’t believe I’m in the presence of fab page 1 greatness :p"Ah don’t  | |||
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"Define “old”… Oh, I’m younger than you so I’m safe
Can’t believe I’m in the presence of fab page 1 greatness :p
Ah don’t "Wait was he not talking to me? | |||
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"Fancy a below par fuck? World cup willy said this would work Below par sounds a bit too good and energetic for me, I'm looking for an underwhelming fuck at the moment " I save those for Mondays | |||
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"I'm old, but not desperate " This is not the thread for you | |||
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"I'm old, but not desperate " Still would | |||
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"How old, and how desperate we talking here, OP??" There is a formula I wrote down somewhere and lost. But the age is a variable depending on the desperation factor to the power of x | |||
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"How old, and how desperate we talking here, OP?? There is a formula I wrote down somewhere and lost. But the age is a variable depending on the desperation factor to the power of x" Having more ex’s clearly means you are more desperate. | |||
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"Define “old”… Oh, I’m younger than you so I’m safe "Shit, I'm the same age as him  | |||
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"How old, and how desperate we talking here, OP?? There is a formula I wrote down somewhere and lost. But the age is a variable depending on the desperation factor to the power of x Having more ex’s clearly means you are more desperate." What are the ages of the ex's tho? The age is the variable here. | |||
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"Fancy a below par fuck? World cup willy said this would work Below par sounds a bit too good and energetic for me, I'm looking for an underwhelming fuck at the moment " Have you been getting instruction from Coyote Ugly? | |||
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"How old, and how desperate we talking here, OP?? There is a formula I wrote down somewhere and lost. But the age is a variable depending on the desperation factor to the power of x Having more ex’s clearly means you are more desperate. What are the ages of the ex's tho? The age is the variable here. " Problem is that discussing a ladies age doesn’t go down well - especially in an equation. | |||
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"'Mon Welcome back OP" Oh, it's nice jumper man. | |||
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"How old, and how desperate we talking here, OP?? There is a formula I wrote down somewhere and lost. But the age is a variable depending on the desperation factor to the power of x Having more ex’s clearly means you are more desperate. What are the ages of the ex's tho? The age is the variable here. "  | |||
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 with a side of paracetamol for my hips afterwards. | |||
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"In! I'm old and oh so desperate " | |||
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"In! I'm old and oh so desperate "your not old at all lol I sent you a message hope you don't mind x | |||
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"In! I'm old and oh so desperate "Hey Wonky! How's it going? X | |||
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"I’ll take a middle aged leg trembler please with a side of paracetamol for my hips afterwards. "You’re not old? | |||
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"Do I have to move underneath you and make noises of appreciation?" Aw man, chewing my knuckle here. | |||
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"I’ll take a middle aged leg trembler please with a side of paracetamol for my hips afterwards.
You’re not old?"That’s why I said Middle aged. Middle aged is 40 right? | |||
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"I’ll take a middle aged leg trembler please with a side of paracetamol for my hips afterwards.
You’re not old?
That’s why I said Middle aged. Middle aged is 40 right? "Is that middle age? I thought that was me with the past 50 thing. | |||
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"I’ll take a middle aged leg trembler please with a side of paracetamol for my hips afterwards.
You’re not old?
That’s why I said Middle aged. Middle aged is 40 right?
Is that middle age? I thought that was me with the past 50 thing."Oh Christ knows. I guess it’s half of whatever the average life expectancy is. | |||
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"I’ll take a middle aged leg trembler please with a side of paracetamol for my hips afterwards.
You’re not old?
That’s why I said Middle aged. Middle aged is 40 right?
Is that middle age? I thought that was me with the past 50 thing.
Oh Christ knows. I guess it’s half of whatever the average life expectancy is. "That’s 36 or something where I live
Oh shit. | |||
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"I’ll take a middle aged leg trembler please with a side of paracetamol for my hips afterwards.
You’re not old?
That’s why I said Middle aged. Middle aged is 40 right?
Is that middle age? I thought that was me with the past 50 thing.
Oh Christ knows. I guess it’s half of whatever the average life expectancy is. "I reckon I've hit middle age then... my Nanna lived to 98, Grandad to 89, my Mum is 80...; my other Nanny reached 80, Dad is 77... | |||
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"I reckon I've hit middle age then... my Nanna lived to 98, Grandad to 89, my Mum is 80...; my other Nanny reached 80, Dad is 77..." And I've realised how little time I possibly have left with my parents. *gulp* definitely not ready for that... | |||
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"Do I have to move underneath you and make noises of appreciation? Aw man, chewing my knuckle here." I can add in an "Oh, you're so big!" | |||
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"I'm 53 but I'm not old and desperate lol xx" you look absolutely stunning for your age WOW xx | |||
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"How old, and how desperate we talking here, OP?? There is a formula I wrote down somewhere and lost. But the age is a variable depending on the desperation factor to the power of x Having more ex’s clearly means you are more desperate. What are the ages of the ex's tho? The age is the variable here. Problem is that discussing a ladies age doesn’t go down well - especially in an equation." This is true, the statistics for this are not good. | |||
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"Do I have to move underneath you and make noises of appreciation? Aw man, chewing my knuckle here. I can add in an "Oh, you're so big!"" No, as that would send me over the edge. | |||
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"Do I have to move underneath you and make noises of appreciation? Aw man, chewing my knuckle here. I can add in an "Oh, you're so big!" No, as that would send me over the edge. "The quicker you get off the better for my hips | |||
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"I’ll take a middle aged leg trembler please with a side of paracetamol for my hips afterwards.
You’re not old?
That’s why I said Middle aged. Middle aged is 40 right? "Generally considered 50 onwards. When near 70, you'll enter the Golden Age. | |||
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"Do I have to move underneath you and make noises of appreciation? Aw man, chewing my knuckle here. I can add in an "Oh, you're so big!" No, as that would send me over the edge.
The quicker you get off the better for my hips " | |||
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"Older women are some of the sexiest and dirtiest ones" Had some very dirty older ladies 60's 70's anal pegging snowballing 3somes bi you name it.Oldest was 75.Dirtyiest ones were around mid 60's. | |||
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"Fancy a below par fuck? World cup willy said this would work" Send a pic of your favourite rock and I’ll see if I can do a good impersonation of it . . . ;) | |||
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"Fancy a below par fuck? Being pedantic, wouldn't half of all fucks be below par?" Being even MORE pedantic, it’s actually slightly less than half. Assume you have 101 fucks and ranked them order of epicness then the 51st ranked would be par. Numbers 1-50 would be above par, 52-101 below par .. or 50/101 .. or 49.5%  | |||
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"I'm 53 but I'm not old and desperate lol xx you look absolutely stunning for your age WOW xx" "Stunning for your age" a true backhanded compliment. "I Love How You Don’t Care How You Come Across." | |||
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"Fancy a below par fuck? Being pedantic, wouldn't half of all fucks be below par? Being even MORE pedantic, it’s actually slightly less than half. Assume you have 101 fucks and ranked them order of epicness then the 51st ranked would be par. Numbers 1-50 would be above par, 52-101 below par .. or 50/101 .. or 49.5% "Well technically Willy I'd be the below part fuck. So regardless of how they rank and perform compared to the "insert fake high number" other women I've been with, I only need to be in the bottom half of their experiences. A feat I am sure I can achieve. | |||
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"Fancy a below par fuck? Being pedantic, wouldn't half of all fucks be below par? Being even MORE pedantic, it’s actually slightly less than half. Assume you have 101 fucks and ranked them order of epicness then the 51st ranked would be par. Numbers 1-50 would be above par, 52-101 below par .. or 50/101 .. or 49.5%
Well technically Willy I'd be the below part fuck. So regardless of how they rank and perform compared to the "insert fake high number" other women I've been with, I only need to be in the bottom half of their experiences. A feat I am sure I can achieve."I hear you my friend
#BrothersInMediocrity | |||
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"Fancy a below par fuck? Being pedantic, wouldn't half of all fucks be below par? Being even MORE pedantic, it’s actually slightly less than half. Assume you have 101 fucks and ranked them order of epicness then the 51st ranked would be par. Numbers 1-50 would be above par, 52-101 below par .. or 50/101 .. or 49.5%
Well technically Willy I'd be the below part fuck. So regardless of how they rank and perform compared to the "insert fake high number" other women I've been with, I only need to be in the bottom half of their experiences. A feat I am sure I can achieve.
I hear you my friend
#BrothersInMediocrity "Pedantically #BrothersBelowMediocrity | |||
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"I feel so seen "Who said that ? | |||
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"See OP, I was right
#Subscribe"We want our money back! Or is the delivery key? | |||
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"Define “old”… Oh, I’m younger than you so I’m safe
Can’t believe I’m in the presence of fab page 1 greatness :p
Ah don’t "Well deserved if it’s true, great profile, I don’t message very often but would definitely  | |||
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"As a member of the CRA (Comment Reading Association), I’m here only to read comments. Please keep the comments short and simple. We do appreciate your typing efforts. Also please be careful for your spellings. Thank you and have a great day lol "Wrong thread perhaps? | |||
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Top marks OP | |||
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"It's all downhill from here I promise" Tell me about it. Think I've been in freefall for last few years | |||
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"It's all downhill from here I promise" It gets better in your 40s and damn frisky in your 50s. | |||
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"Is the “old” part negotiable? Because i fit the other criteria. " I’d say so. | |||
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Define desperate!
Umm old (ish) | |||
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"You should never listen to Willy! " Ahem! I am a bastion of knowledge. Except when it comes to squirting. I still have NO IDEA if that’s wee or not! Or if it’s pronounced “scone” or “scone”. Or what the hell a Barm Cake is. Other than that a BASTION of knowledge!! | |||
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"Fancy a below par fuck? Being pedantic, wouldn't half of all fucks be below par? Being even MORE pedantic, it’s actually slightly less than half. Assume you have 101 fucks and ranked them order of epicness then the 51st ranked would be par. Numbers 1-50 would be above par, 52-101 below par .. or 50/101 .. or 49.5%
Well technically Willy I'd be the below part fuck. So regardless of how they rank and perform compared to the "insert fake high number" other women I've been with, I only need to be in the bottom half of their experiences. A feat I am sure I can achieve.
I hear you my friend
#BrothersInMediocrity
Pedantically #BrothersBelowMediocrity
"I see your pedantry and raise it. In golf, a below par score beats an above par one. So OP is talking about a GOOD fuck. | |||
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"Old yes. Desperate no In for a below par fuck… also no. I’ll have a ladywank thanks " | |||
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"You should never listen to Willy! Ahem! I am a bastion of knowledge. Except when it comes to squirting. I still have NO IDEA if that’s wee or not! Or if it’s pronounced “scone” or “scone”. Or what the hell a Barm Cake is. Other than that a BASTION of knowledge!!" Suggest you're more a cul-de-sac of knowledge tbf Willy. | |||
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"What constitutes old ? "If you are a woman, you are never too old, if you're a man, at the first sign of a grey pube. | |||
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"What constitutes old ?
If you are a woman, you are never too old, if you're a man, at the first sign of a grey pube."What if the pubes aren’t there / too short to figure out if they’re grey | |||
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"I'm not sure the desperation levels are high enough here. I'm off to bumble. They have to message first so you know they are clutching at straws" Ooo what is this bumble you talk of? | |||
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"What constitutes old ?
If you are a woman, you are never too old, if you're a man, at the first sign of a grey pube.
What if the pubes aren’t there / too short to figure out if they’re grey "You have to leave a stray, for checking purposes. | |||
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"I'm not sure the desperation levels are high enough here. I'm off to bumble. They have to message first so you know they are clutching at straws Ooo what is this bumble you talk of? "Nope nothing to see there... MINE! | |||
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