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Smacking Children in England

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Lots of talk that England should follow the Welsh and Scottish and ban the mild smacking of children.

Should it banned. It's all over the news

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By *ete.RachaelTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Yes

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

36 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Yes.

Some adults though.........

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
36 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

I think you've totally misread or misheard Tom .......

You really should check your news before you mis inform everyone else.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford


"I think you've totally misread or misheard Tom .......

You really should check your news before you mis inform everyone else. "

Tom is a mere reporter and you are the editor Granny...

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-68827782

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By *TG3Man
36 weeks ago

Dorchester

I thought it had already been outlawed, i think it contributes to the unruliness of todays children because their is no punishment of their behaviour and don't forget kids mimic life they see bad behaviour they behave badly and giggle

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
36 weeks ago

Leeds

I was pretty sure it had already been made illegal?

If not then yeah it should be, being slapped and punched didn't do anything positive to my behaviour it just made me more angry and resentful throw in a huge does of ptsd for good measure.

Mrs

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By *emorefridaCouple
36 weeks ago

La la land

As far as I'm aware Tom is correct. Which is why I tell my kids they're in for it once we cross the bridge and they'd better behave.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Some so called experts inform that the smacking is cyclical in that those who smack grow up to be violent. Is it too early to see that violence in Scotland and Northern Ireland has all but ended ?

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford


"As far as I'm aware Tom is correct. Which is why I tell my kids they're in for it once we cross the bridge and they'd better behave. "

Tom tries to be correct and rarely posts his sources as it implies that he needs to prove that he is correct.

But why wait to cross the bridge. Can it in theory be done half way. ? With the pandemic lockdown wasn't there. Welsh village on the border with one pub open in he Welsh part and one pub closed in the English part .. ?

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I thought it had already been outlawed, i think it contributes to the unruliness of todays children because their is no punishment of their behaviour and don't forget kids mimic life they see bad behaviour they behave badly and giggle "

If they mimic behaviour, does that mean that they learn that physical violence is an acceptable solution to conflict and poor behaviour/ attitude?

If it's not acceptable to smack other adults, I can't see why it is for children?

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By *emorefridaCouple
36 weeks ago

La la land


"As far as I'm aware Tom is correct. Which is why I tell my kids they're in for it once we cross the bridge and they'd better behave.

Tom tries to be correct and rarely posts his sources as it implies that he needs to prove that he is correct.

But why wait to cross the bridge. Can it in theory be done half way. ? With the pandemic lockdown wasn't there. Welsh village on the border with one pub open in he Welsh part and one pub closed in the English part .. ?"

Hmm the welcome to England sign is after the bridge, don't want to risk it.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I thought it had already been outlawed, i think it contributes to the unruliness of todays children because their is no punishment of their behaviour and don't forget kids mimic life they see bad behaviour they behave badly and giggle "

It's possible to punish without needing to slap a child. Just takes a little thought and effort.

Not sure kids are any more unruly now than before. There are enough older dickheads about to suggest the good old days of spanking were no more effective.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Are some confusing reasonable chastisement of a child with a physical assault

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"Are some confusing reasonable chastisement of a child with a physical assault"

Yes, some do confuse chastisement with smacking

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I thought it had already been outlawed, i think it contributes to the unruliness of todays children because their is no punishment of their behaviour and don't forget kids mimic life they see bad behaviour they behave badly and giggle

It's possible to punish without needing to slap a child. Just takes a little thought and effort.

Not sure kids are any more unruly now than before. There are enough older dickheads about to suggest the good old days of spanking were no more effective."

.

Quite.. and many people's poor ability to communicate through conflicts

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By *TG3Man
36 weeks ago

Dorchester


"I thought it had already been outlawed, i think it contributes to the unruliness of todays children because their is no punishment of their behaviour and don't forget kids mimic life they see bad behaviour they behave badly and giggle

If they mimic behaviour, does that mean that they learn that physical violence is an acceptable solution to conflict and poor behaviour/ attitude?

If it's not acceptable to smack other adults, I can't see why it is for children? "

It gives them an indication from a responsible adult that they've behaved badly and it tells them they will be punished for behaving badly what gives that indication today? Having said that i never smacked my children and they've turned out ok but i was the type to explain what they had done wrong but guess i was a good parent the best parent in actual fact, if i had had boys who knows

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I thought it had already been outlawed, i think it contributes to the unruliness of todays children because their is no punishment of their behaviour and don't forget kids mimic life they see bad behaviour they behave badly and giggle

If they mimic behaviour, does that mean that they learn that physical violence is an acceptable solution to conflict and poor behaviour/ attitude?

If it's not acceptable to smack other adults, I can't see why it is for children? It gives them an indication from a responsible adult that they've behaved badly and it tells them they will be punished for behaving badly what gives that indication today? Having said that i never smacked my children and they've turned out ok but i was the type to explain what they had done wrong but guess i was a good parent the best parent in actual fact, if i had had boys who knows "

Punishment & learning through fear & fear of punishment or learning through correction chastisement, communication, rewards, agency, encouragement & empowerment to be better?

I think lots of people avoid conflict because they haven't the communication tools to engage & resolve conflicts in a constructive manner.

Do we 'punish' criminals with smacking?

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Abuse is not necessary

Smacking is abuse.

Zero tolerance of abuse.

Yes.It should be.I listened to that on TV this morning

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
36 weeks ago

in Lancashire


"It gives them an indication from a responsible adult that they've behaved badly and it tells them they will be punished for behaving badly "

And when the adult is not responsible, acts in anger or under the influence of whatever substance..?

All that does is enforce that might is right, 'a bigger' person has the option of using violence as a norm in a disagreement..

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Will point out that if you smack a child around the face will cause it trauma with ptsd. It will damage their developing brain.

Do you need to..no.

Teaching right from wrong.Do it another way.

Yes smacking should be banned here

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"Lots of talk that England should follow the Welsh and Scottish and ban the mild smacking of children.

Should it banned. It's all over the news"

Should smacking in swinging be banned?

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By *TG3Man
36 weeks ago

Dorchester


"I thought it had already been outlawed, i think it contributes to the unruliness of todays children because their is no punishment of their behaviour and don't forget kids mimic life they see bad behaviour they behave badly and giggle

If they mimic behaviour, does that mean that they learn that physical violence is an acceptable solution to conflict and poor behaviour/ attitude?

If it's not acceptable to smack other adults, I can't see why it is for children? It gives them an indication from a responsible adult that they've behaved badly and it tells them they will be punished for behaving badly what gives that indication today? Having said that i never smacked my children and they've turned out ok but i was the type to explain what they had done wrong but guess i was a good parent the best parent in actual fact, if i had had boys who knows

Punishment & learning through fear & fear of punishment or learning through correction chastisement, communication, rewards, agency, encouragement & empowerment to be better?

I think lots of people avoid conflict because they haven't the communication tools to engage & resolve conflicts in a constructive manner.

Do we 'punish' criminals with smacking? "

Criminals are adults that didn't have punishment when they were growing up, someone to tell them right from wrong a light slap is hardly abuse its still a punishment mind, i didn't have to use this type of punishment with my daughters as i said but i don't disagree that its a useful tool. Children need to be taught right from wrong, cheekyness from politeness, rude from not rude, their is no discipline anymore because its reviewed as brutal or abusive but it worked. What do we have now because its certainly not working?

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I thought it had already been outlawed, i think it contributes to the unruliness of todays children because their is no punishment of their behaviour and don't forget kids mimic life they see bad behaviour they behave badly and giggle

If they mimic behaviour, does that mean that they learn that physical violence is an acceptable solution to conflict and poor behaviour/ attitude?

If it's not acceptable to smack other adults, I can't see why it is for children? It gives them an indication from a responsible adult that they've behaved badly and it tells them they will be punished for behaving badly what gives that indication today? Having said that i never smacked my children and they've turned out ok but i was the type to explain what they had done wrong but guess i was a good parent the best parent in actual fact, if i had had boys who knows

Punishment & learning through fear & fear of punishment or learning through correction chastisement, communication, rewards, agency, encouragement & empowerment to be better?

I think lots of people avoid conflict because they haven't the communication tools to engage & resolve conflicts in a constructive manner.

Do we 'punish' criminals with smacking? Criminals are adults that didn't have punishment when they were growing up, someone to tell them right from wrong a light slap is hardly abuse its still a punishment mind, i didn't have to use this type of punishment with my daughters as i said but i don't disagree that its a useful tool. Children need to be taught right from wrong, cheekyness from politeness, rude from not rude, their is no discipline anymore because its reviewed as brutal or abusive but it worked. What do we have now because its certainly not working? "

You're entirely contradicting yourself

You claim to have brought up (I assume non-criminal?) children without need for physical punishment.

But blame the breakdown in children's behaviour (meaning what I'm not sure?) because other people don't smack their kids?

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By *rgasmicChemistryCouple
36 weeks ago

east coast

Yes it sould

I have never put my hands on my kids and never will getting slapped as a kid was sh.t I hated it so I will never do it

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By *unchalMan
36 weeks ago

Dartford

Yes. Adults should never hit children. Very straight forward. Criminal offence if one adult hits another. Should be the same for adults who hit children.

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By *rispyDuckMan
36 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

I was smacked as a kid and turned out alright lol

Everything has to be in proportion. I see a lot of spoilt brats that could do with a smacking once in a while .

But again there are some loose cannon parents that could take it too far and it becomes abusive. So again everything has to be in proportion to what you disciplining the kid on

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By *TG3Man
36 weeks ago

Dorchester


"I thought it had already been outlawed, i think it contributes to the unruliness of todays children because their is no punishment of their behaviour and don't forget kids mimic life they see bad behaviour they behave badly and giggle

If they mimic behaviour, does that mean that they learn that physical violence is an acceptable solution to conflict and poor behaviour/ attitude?

If it's not acceptable to smack other adults, I can't see why it is for children? It gives them an indication from a responsible adult that they've behaved badly and it tells them they will be punished for behaving badly what gives that indication today? Having said that i never smacked my children and they've turned out ok but i was the type to explain what they had done wrong but guess i was a good parent the best parent in actual fact, if i had had boys who knows

Punishment & learning through fear & fear of punishment or learning through correction chastisement, communication, rewards, agency, encouragement & empowerment to be better?

I think lots of people avoid conflict because they haven't the communication tools to engage & resolve conflicts in a constructive manner.

Do we 'punish' criminals with smacking? Criminals are adults that didn't have punishment when they were growing up, someone to tell them right from wrong a light slap is hardly abuse its still a punishment mind, i didn't have to use this type of punishment with my daughters as i said but i don't disagree that its a useful tool. Children need to be taught right from wrong, cheekyness from politeness, rude from not rude, their is no discipline anymore because its reviewed as brutal or abusive but it worked. What do we have now because its certainly not working?

You're entirely contradicting yourself

You claim to have brought up (I assume non-criminal?) children without need for physical punishment.

But blame the breakdown in children's behaviour (meaning what I'm not sure?) because other people don't smack their kids? "

How am i contradicting myself i believe that the odd smack is a useful way of showing a child that thats not the right thing to do, my father employed this with me and my brother and we didn't turn out to bad, i didn't use it myself because i had no need to use it but certainly the evidence of todays unruly children would say their is a need for it, not to totally outrule it. In the hands of a responsible parent it would be wisely used obviously those that would abuse it would abuse anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Give em a slap I say did me no harm

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
36 weeks ago

Cumbria

Yes it should, if you have to use violence to punish your children, or let them know they have done something wrong, then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

If it’s ok to use violence then surely bosses at work should be allowed to use it to punish poor performance in the workplace?

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
36 weeks ago

southampton

No, but doesn't exonerate bad abusive parents though.

Immensely rare to have to but a slapped hand can give the short sharp shock to an Immensely dangerous incident.

Appreciate others may disagree but that's my opinion.

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By *TG3Man
36 weeks ago

Dorchester

Some people see rules as rules never to be broken, some people see a slap as violence, some people see shouting as abuse, some people see everything in life as a negative and some people don't. To every opinion theirs an opposing one its life.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Tom was caned at school and it has done him no harm. He has a well rounded personality and is a functioning member of society who does not get into conflict or use violence. Tom is living proof that caning works. He will never steal a jam sandwich from a canteen however hungry he is

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
36 weeks ago

southampton


"Yes it should, if you have to use violence to punish your children, or let them know they have done something wrong, then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

If it’s ok to use violence then surely bosses at work should be allowed to use it to punish poor performance in the workplace?"

Take a look at yourself, it's not violence. It's used as a deterrent & and your use of violence is on a par with reports of assault on the police & then you find out assault can be verbal abuse in police reports.

Violence is a typically emotive word used by someone with no actual argument.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
36 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Very simple question. How can it be OK for adults to hit children but not for adults to hit each other? Setting aside consensual impact play between adults, I've never yet had a good answer to this.

Mrs TMN x

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford


"Very simple question. How can it be OK for adults to hit children but not for adults to hit each other? Setting aside consensual impact play between adults, I've never yet had a good answer to this.

Mrs TMN x"

It could be to stop a child being killed by running into a road etc

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
36 weeks ago

Cumbria


"Yes it should, if you have to use violence to punish your children, or let them know they have done something wrong, then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

If it’s ok to use violence then surely bosses at work should be allowed to use it to punish poor performance in the workplace?

Take a look at yourself, it's not violence. It's used as a deterrent & and your use of violence is on a par with reports of assault on the police & then you find out assault can be verbal abuse in police reports.

Violence is a typically emotive word used by someone with no actual argument.

"

Hitting someone is violence.

Would you be ok with your boss hitting you if they thought you had done something worthy of punishment?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Central

100% banned.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
36 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Very simple question. How can it be OK for adults to hit children but not for adults to hit each other? Setting aside consensual impact play between adults, I've never yet had a good answer to this.

Mrs TMN x

It could be to stop a child being killed by running into a road etc "

That's a totally different thing than smacking for chastisement.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Central


"Very simple question. How can it be OK for adults to hit children but not for adults to hit each other? Setting aside consensual impact play between adults, I've never yet had a good answer to this.

Mrs TMN x

It could be to stop a child being killed by running into a road etc "

If it's a side effect of pulling someone out of the way of a vehicle, it wouldn't be smacking/violence

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Tom has been hit over the years but to be fair he deserved it

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Can lead to emotional issues in the grown adult.

There's less counterproductive ways to steer a kid.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I went to one of the last schools that had corporal punishment.

There were only 3 schools left at the time that did. The management that ran mine owned 2 of those.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
36 weeks ago

ashford

I thought it allready had been banished? But yes absolutely agree! Don't agree with hitting children anymore than I would adults! X

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Teach kids self defense, take them to MMA whatever physical thing they are drawn to.

But violence as a form of punishment, no..

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I'm never convinced the people in favour of smacking kids ever did a great deal in the way of parenting.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
36 weeks ago

ashford


"I thought it had already been outlawed, i think it contributes to the unruliness of todays children because their is no punishment of their behaviour and don't forget kids mimic life they see bad behaviour they behave badly and giggle

If they mimic behaviour, does that mean that they learn that physical violence is an acceptable solution to conflict and poor behaviour/ attitude?

If it's not acceptable to smack other adults, I can't see why it is for children? It gives them an indication from a responsible adult that they've behaved badly and it tells them they will be punished for behaving badly what gives that indication today? Having said that i never smacked my children and they've turned out ok but i was the type to explain what they had done wrong but guess i was a good parent the best parent in actual fact, if i had had boys who knows

Punishment & learning through fear & fear of punishment or learning through correction chastisement, communication, rewards, agency, encouragement & empowerment to be better?

I think lots of people avoid conflict because they haven't the communication tools to engage & resolve conflicts in a constructive manner.

Do we 'punish' criminals with smacking? Criminals are adults that didn't have punishment when they were growing up, someone to tell them right from wrong a light slap is hardly abuse its still a punishment mind, i didn't have to use this type of punishment with my daughters as i said but i don't disagree that its a useful tool. Children need to be taught right from wrong, cheekyness from politeness, rude from not rude, their is no discipline anymore because its reviewed as brutal or abusive but it worked. What do we have now because its certainly not working? "

Physical violence don't work! There are many ways to punish with out it! All it does is install fear!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
36 weeks ago

ashford


"Give em a slap I say did me no harm"

Ha ha! My ex used to say that! I used to say really?? x

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
36 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

Growing up I had one parent who spanked and one parent who didn’t.

The parent who spanked lost that control when I became a teen and grew 6 inches bigger than her (and told her if she hit me again I would hit her back).

The parent who didn’t spank could still “control” me until he died, as his signal of coming chastisement (a sharp sniff) was hardwired to make me stop what I was doing.

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By *929Man
36 weeks ago

newcastle

I thought it was already banned ages ago?

I’ve never ever smacked my kids although their mover did I didn’t agree with it I always found better results talking to them making them understand their actions and they turned out fine. I couldn’t imagine even raising a hand to them I’d feel suicidal with guilt.

Growing up my dad never ever even threatened to hit me my mother was always quick to lash out and even to this day sometimes brags about how she hit her kids she achieved nothing but resentment because of it

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By *eard and TattsCouple
36 weeks ago

Cwmbran


"Lots of talk that England should follow the Welsh and Scottish and ban the mild smacking of children.

Should it banned. It's all over the news"

Scotland won't even allow you to be a parent.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
36 weeks ago

Reading

Agree

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
36 weeks ago

Newcastle

I thought it was already banned but if it isn’t, it certainly should be. If you feel the need to smack your kids to try and keep them in line then you’ve already failed as a parent, in my opinion. Using violence or fear to control bad behaviour is not the answer. It is just lazy parenting by those who can’t be bothered to teach their kids proper values, where their kids will understand how important it is to respect others, their surroundings and possessions.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
36 weeks ago

Leeds


"Are some confusing reasonable chastisement of a child with a physical assault"

Where's the line, a slap is a slap, who's to judge how hard is deemed ok and what isn't assault and what is?

There's no need for it full stop.

Mrs

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
36 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

I’ve scanned down through the thread and noticed several people pointing out that it is wrong to instill fear.

Leaving the smack/don’t smack argument aside, surely all punishment is instilling fear, fear of loosing internet access, fear of being grounded, fear of having some or other privilege denied as a consequence of misbehaviour of some kind or another.

Surely all punishment has its foundation in a fear.

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By *odgerMooreMan
36 weeks ago

Nowhere

Does it mention tasering kids Tom? Id hate to trip up on a technicality!!

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Corporal punishment the cane got banned. Abuse.

Hands up who liked getting canned ...

Lines was my punishment but I was bullied which is abuse by a teacher

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford


"Corporal punishment the cane got banned. Abuse.

Hands up who liked getting canned ...

Lines was my punishment but I was bullied which is abuse by a teacher "

Tom did not mind a good caning.. each to their own

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By *uriousscouserWoman
36 weeks ago

Wirral

I was smacked as a kid. I was a bit of a cow's melt so I was smacked a lot.

I don't *think* it's done me any lasting harm, but I can categorically say it did me absolutely no good. It didn't make me reevaluate my behaviour, it didn't make me any more conscious of the consequences of my actions, it didn't make me any better behaved.

I'm joyously childfree so my opinions on raising children carry little weight, but I agree with a ban.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
36 weeks ago

ashford


"I’ve scanned down through the thread and noticed several people pointing out that it is wrong to instill fear.

Leaving the smack/don’t smack argument aside, surely all punishment is instilling fear, fear of loosing internet access, fear of being grounded, fear of having some or other privilege denied as a consequence of misbehaviour of some kind or another.

Surely all punishment has its foundation in a fear. "

Kinda I spose but different way! If I was to loose sweet money it was more disappointing than fear! Remembering my mum coming at me with the coat hanger or her hand was fear! X

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By *heel markMan
36 weeks ago

beside the sea

Is it OK to keep them in a cupboard and feed them gruel ?

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By *TG3Man
36 weeks ago

Dorchester


"Is it OK to keep them in a cupboard and feed them gruel ? "
omg gruel noooooooo

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
36 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"Does it mention tasering kids Tom? Id hate to trip up on a technicality!! "

I think the hard and fast rule is , 'as long as you leave no lasting marks you are okay'

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
36 weeks ago

.

Yes it should it banned, The occasional smack from my parents did me no harm and the fear of getting smacked stopped me from misbehaving but watch videos and hear kids saying "you can't touch me or I'll get you done" etc when a slap is what they do need half the time,

Parents need to find another way other then hitting their children,

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
36 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"Yes it should, if you have to use violence to punish your children, or let them know they have done something wrong, then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

If it’s ok to use violence then surely bosses at work should be allowed to use it to punish poor performance in the workplace?

Take a look at yourself, it's not violence. It's used as a deterrent & and your use of violence is on a par with reports of assault on the police & then you find out assault can be verbal abuse in police reports.

Violence is a typically emotive word used by someone with no actual argument.

"

Violence is not a word used by someone without argument.

Violence is a word that describes an act by one person upon another e.g. physical violence can entail hitting another persons body with part of your body or another implement.

Hitting someone is a violent act and the argument that is being used uses the word violence as a simple FACT and argues that one person should not use violence against another whether they are their children or not.

The argument is clear.

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By *unchalMan
36 weeks ago

Dartford


"I was smacked as a kid and turned out alright lol

Everything has to be in proportion. I see a lot of spoilt brats that could do with a smacking once in a while .

But again there are some loose cannon parents that could take it too far and it becomes abusive. So again everything has to be in proportion to what you disciplining the kid on "

Do you think we should hit the adults who annoy you too?

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By *unchalMan
36 weeks ago

Dartford


"Yes it should it banned, The occasional smack from my parents did me no harm and the fear of getting smacked stopped me from misbehaving but watch videos and hear kids saying "you can't touch me or I'll get you done" etc when a slap is what they do need half the time,

Parents need to find another way other then hitting their children, "

Good parenting is when you instill fear that you might hit them?

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I’ve never ever smacked my kids, but it didn’t do me any harm

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

It would be more painful for them to cut the plug off their PlayStation these days

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By *ark73XXXMan
36 weeks ago

North Staffs/South Cheshire

Another one

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By *unchalMan
36 weeks ago

Dartford


"Yes it should it banned, The occasional smack from my parents did me no harm and the fear of getting smacked stopped me from misbehaving but watch videos and hear kids saying "you can't touch me or I'll get you done" etc when a slap is what they do need half the time,

Parents need to find another way other then hitting their children, "

Oops, sorry. Got a bit trigger happy there.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford


"Yes it should, if you have to use violence to punish your children, or let them know they have done something wrong, then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

If it’s ok to use violence then surely bosses at work should be allowed to use it to punish poor performance in the workplace?

Take a look at yourself, it's not violence. It's used as a deterrent & and your use of violence is on a par with reports of assault on the police & then you find out assault can be verbal abuse in police reports.

Violence is a typically emotive word used by someone with no actual argument.

Violence is not a word used by someone without argument.

Violence is a word that describes an act by one person upon another e.g. physical violence can entail hitting another persons body with part of your body or another implement.

Hitting someone is a violent act and the argument that is being used uses the word violence as a simple FACT and argues that one person should not use violence against another whether they are their children or not.

The argument is clear."

Clear or Muddled

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By *AYENCouple
36 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

If you don't know how to communicate with a child without resorting to physical violence you should never have had them and should seek help. K.

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By *ggdrasil66Man
36 weeks ago

Saltdean

As far as I know, any smacking of children outside of your home is against the law. It is not against the law at home. But there is a big difference between smacking kid for being naughty, and abuse. Beating them is against the law, full stop, and rightly so.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
36 weeks ago

Cheshire

Ask me as a teenager would I prefer a smack over not having my tea, slap me silly as my tummy is rumbling.

Two boys both autistic and they can be challenging at times, never hit them once or denied them food. I can’t imagine being in a situation in which I could raise my hand against either of them, so it’s a no from me.

Yes I was hit as a child and as a teenager both by parents and teachers, did me no good at all. Ironically the last caning I got at school was for fighting, then a couple of years later in the Army I was encouraged to fight. (Milling for those who served)

Seen violence throughout my life and I don’t encourage it.

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By *rozac_fairyCouple
36 weeks ago

Birmingham

I mean, yeah, it should be gotten rid if.

Why would anyone need to hit a child? Like how out of control of yourself are you that physical punishment is the only way you feel you can parent effectively?

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford

People are confusing smacking with hitting

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
36 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"People are confusing smacking with hitting "

No they're not.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford


"People are confusing smacking with hitting

No they're not. "

Yes they are..

Behind you..

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By *andynecklaceWoman
36 weeks ago

Someplace

People that feel the need to smack/hit their kids are not right. Don't have kids if you're going to abuse them.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Well the law allows until it is changed...

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By *ansoffateMan
36 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

The means become the ends you hope to achieve.

People thinking violence is a way to resolve problems. Bullies, I've got no time for them.

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By *amierebelMan
36 weeks ago

nae danger.

Of course it should be banned. Some of the answers here

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By *illy IdolMan
36 weeks ago

Midlands

I don't know what the right answer is tbh.

I was 1 of 4 unruly boys. We constantly pushed boundaries and tested the limits. The occasional smacked bottom was probably good for us as words and confiscation would have had zero effect on us. I think every child is different though and responds differently

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By *exySenseiCouple
36 weeks ago


"Lots of talk that England should follow the Welsh and Scottish and ban the mild smacking of children.

Should it banned. It's all over the news"

Yes.(Like we even have to ask this question????)

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"People are confusing smacking with hitting "

Smacking, hitting, slapping, what ever word you choose to use, it's choosing a hands on physical violent act rather than using words & actions to parent. Hardly constructive role modelling of communication & concequences in an acceptable manner, that the child can build on to use as adults with others, in the future.

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By *hagTonightMan
36 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

It is a tricky one, but I dont think that the state should tell parents how to raise their children.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
36 weeks ago

ashford


"People are confusing smacking with hitting "

Both the same!x

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
36 weeks ago

Newcastle

Just break it down for what it is... Deliberately inflicting pain on a child for the purpose of control. It’s pretty disgusting when you think about it like that.

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By *batMan
36 weeks ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)


"Having said that i never smacked my children and they've turned out ok but i was the type to explain what they had done wrong but guess i was a good parent the best parent in actual fact, "

Glad you were up to the challenge Fred. You obviously think no one else is, though.

It’s quite possible to ensure bad behaviour has consequences without beating people.

Gbat

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By *batMan
36 weeks ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)


"It is a tricky one, but I dont think that the state should tell parents how to raise their children."

Fucking hell Shag. There’s some parents I wouldn’t trust to raise a goldfish let alone a child.

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"It would be more painful for them to cut the plug off their PlayStation these days "

True very true but proves no need to smack you can show them other ways how a wrong might affect them.

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By *inkywife1981Couple
36 weeks ago

A town near you

Growing up we were got a good slap across the arse if we stepped out of line at home and I remember being slapped across the back of my thighs at school or across th3 hand with a ruler.

I certainly believe the lack of discipline in the youth of today could be solved with a few slaps.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
36 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders


"Well the law allows until it is changed..."

The law doesn't allow it.

Section 58 of The Children's Act 2004 doesn't clarify what constitutes as 'reasonable punishment' but does clarify what isn't, suffocation, strangulation, battery, actual bodily harm can't be justified on the grounds of reasonable punishment.

Other factors will be considered when making a judgement on what is or isn't lawful.

A one off tap to the hand or leg as a spontaneous response is unlikely to be a ground for prosecution

Systematic abuse which leaves marks, especially on certain parts of the body which aren't consistent the development of a child, e.g 'no cruise, no bruise' brusing on an immobile baby would be unusual and inconsistent with their development.

Majority of accidental bruises would be seen in the bony body parts. With uncommon injury sites being the softer parts...

The law does need clarity about what is acceptable however

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"Teach kids self defense, take them to MMA whatever physical thing they are drawn to.

But violence as a form of punishment, no.."

Exactly.it teaches them fear,they may smack people or peers who do wrong.

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By *emptation6580Couple
36 weeks ago

playa de ingles

[Removed by poster at 17/04/24 22:59:11]

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By *emptation6580Couple
36 weeks ago

playa de ingles

[Removed by poster at 17/04/24 22:59:04]

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By *riendly BiMan
36 weeks ago

h

I think it's some of the parents that need a good smacking.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
36 weeks ago

chichester


"Yes it should, if you have to use violence to punish your children, or let them know they have done something wrong, then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

If it’s ok to use violence then surely bosses at work should be allowed to use it to punish poor performance in the workplace?"

I had a boss try physically hitting me at work once for not reaching my sales target . He ended up going to hospital not long after … So adults on adults is quite different to kids.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Central


"I think it's some of the parents that need a good smacking. "

We need to phase out violence between everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

When I was a kid I learnt pretty quickly if was naughty it could end up with a slap so for the best part I was pretty good as the thought of getting a slap was enough to make me think is doing what ever worth the risk of a slap never did me any harm It was known back then as disaplin, kids now days don't seem to know much about disaplin or respect the ones that do have probably had a slap or two

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By *ark73XXXMan
36 weeks ago

North Staffs/South Cheshire


"It is a tricky one, but I dont think that the state should tell parents how to raise their children."

Someone has to

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By *ldgeezermeMan
36 weeks ago

Throckley

Thirty year old man hits two year old girl (for example)

In what circumstances would that be be acceptable?

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By *allDarkAndTattedMan
36 weeks ago

High Wycombe

All you teach a child by hitting them is that it’s okay to use violence if someone does something you don’t like.

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By *hirley147TV/TS
36 weeks ago

Blackpool

I had the cane at school, the slipper, and the worst was being forced to stand by a radiator on full blast for the afternoon cooking, aaah the 70s

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By *amierebelMan
36 weeks ago

nae danger.


"All you teach a child by hitting them is that it’s okay to use violence if someone does something you don’t like. "

Exactly this

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By *ark73XXXMan
36 weeks ago

North Staffs/South Cheshire


"All you teach a child by hitting them is that it’s okay to use violence if someone does something you don’t like. "

Spot on

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By *unchalMan
36 weeks ago

Dartford


"It is a tricky one, but I dont think that the state should tell parents how to raise their children."

Really? So parents should be allowed to do whatever they like to their children because they are some kind of property?

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
36 weeks ago

Cumbria


"Yes it should, if you have to use violence to punish your children, or let them know they have done something wrong, then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

If it’s ok to use violence then surely bosses at work should be allowed to use it to punish poor performance in the workplace?

I had a boss try physically hitting me at work once for not reaching my sales target . He ended up going to hospital not long after … So adults on adults is quite different to kids. "

It’s different how, the kids are less likely to hit back? Surely that makes it even worse.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
36 weeks ago

Cumbria


"When I was a kid I learnt pretty quickly if was naughty it could end up with a slap so for the best part I was pretty good as the thought of getting a slap was enough to make me think is doing what ever worth the risk of a slap never did me any harm It was known back then as disaplin, kids now days don't seem to know much about disaplin or respect the ones that do have probably had a slap or two"

If the only way you can discipline a child is through violence then you’ve failed as a person, never mind as a parent.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
36 weeks ago

Cumbria


"It is a tricky one, but I dont think that the state should tell parents how to raise their children.

Really? So parents should be allowed to do whatever they like to their children because they are some kind of property?"

It’s an interesting concept, you created them so you can do what you like to them, how far does that go?

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By *TG3Man
36 weeks ago

Dorchester

Take their phones away sorted, punishment enough

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By *mf123Man
36 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

I thought it already was

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By *mf123Man
36 weeks ago

with one foot out the door


"It is a tricky one, but I dont think that the state should tell parents how to raise their children.

Really? So parents should be allowed to do whatever they like to their children because they are some kind of property?"

they are property of the state thats why they have power to remove them from familys

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
36 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

Studies have shown that children who are smacked tend to perform worse in school & score lower in IQ tests. These are well established findings which were published years ago from multiple sources (Google it).

For me, once you become aware of that, any other noise around the subject becomes secondary/irrelevant.

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By *2000ManMan
36 weeks ago

Worthing

I recall a few smacks on the bottom which never did myself or brothers any harm. Loss of privilages in later years hurt more though.

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By *illy IdolMan
36 weeks ago

Midlands


"Studies have shown that children who are smacked tend to perform worse in school & score lower in IQ tests. These are well established findings which were published years ago from multiple sources (Google it).

For me, once you become aware of that, any other noise around the subject becomes secondary/irrelevant."

I had no chance then. Bad results, smacked bottom. Smacked bottom, bad results

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By *osco78Man
36 weeks ago

Sheffield

I was never smacked as a child and thank God for that , I know my dad got absolutely battered by his dad on a regular and he swore he'd never lay a finger on me ,

I could t imagine hitting my son now either , this whole it never did me any harm mentality is complete horseshit , terrifying a child to behave with violence isn't discipline it's abuse pure and simple .

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
36 weeks ago

ashford


"I was never smacked as a child and thank God for that , I know my dad got absolutely battered by his dad on a regular and he swore he'd never lay a finger on me ,

I could t imagine hitting my son now either , this whole it never did me any harm mentality is complete horseshit , terrifying a child to behave with violence isn't discipline it's abuse pure and simple ."

Yes agree! People that say it never did me any harm I look at them and think really? My ex used to say it I used to just roll my eyes and say yeah right! x

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I was never smacked as a child and thank God for that , I know my dad got absolutely battered by his dad on a regular and he swore he'd never lay a finger on me ,

I could t imagine hitting my son now either , this whole it never did me any harm mentality is complete horseshit , terrifying a child to behave with violence isn't discipline it's abuse pure and simple ."

everybody is entitled to an opinion it doesn't make you instantly right though. Going by the way kids behave nowadays compared to how I behaved growing up I would say something in the way kids are disciplined has gone very wrong. your idea of getting a slap compared to mine as being abuse must also be very different the modern way of thinking automatically assumes that a slap means getting the shit kicked out of them. it really doesn't mean that at all. It's just modern society latches on to high-profile cases and then the ban culture kicks in. I think within reason discipline and bringing up kids should not have anything to do with the government or anyone else unless abuse has happened giving a kid a slap for being very naughty when all other methods of discipline have not had any effect is NOT abuse its called a short sharp shock if you start slapping them all the time it won't work. I know A lot of parents that could do with a short sharp shock but that's A whole other subject

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

If it is the case (and I don't think it is) that kids today are so much worse than ever before... just like to point out they've been brought up by the 'didn't do me any harm' generation.

Perhaps the focus should be on why they're such shit parents.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
36 weeks ago

Cumbria


"If it is the case (and I don't think it is) that kids today are so much worse than ever before... just like to point out they've been brought up by the 'didn't do me any harm' generation.

Perhaps the focus should be on why they're such shit parents."

It’s always everyone else’s kids who are much worse though

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Hence my comment about I know A lot of parents who need a slap. I don't have and wouldn't want kids. I can't stand them plus I'm more of the generation before the last bunch of parents remenber millennials are breeding now most of gen X have finished now

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"If it is the case (and I don't think it is) that kids today are so much worse than ever before... just like to point out they've been brought up by the 'didn't do me any harm' generation.

Perhaps the focus should be on why they're such shit parents.

It’s always everyone else’s kids who are much worse though "

That and the blokes who've had fuck all involvement with bringing up their kids (or have no kids at all) but still feel a few slaps will sort out the kids they've no clue about.

Pure comedy.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Why ?

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
36 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders


"Studies have shown that children who are smacked tend to perform worse in school & score lower in IQ tests. These are well established findings which were published years ago from multiple sources (Google it).

For me, once you become aware of that, any other noise around the subject becomes secondary/irrelevant."

In Safegaurding we call it adverse childhood experiences (ACES) which as you rightly say it can impact on their learning and development. It can also impact on their relationships, they may find that it affects future relationships (attachment) and could start the cycle of abuse with their own children.

It can also impact on health, studies have shown that the more ACES a person has the more predispositioned they are not only to poor mental health but to poor physical health too.

Everyone has ACES, there is no denying it. But the more a child has have the more at risk they are of these future issues.

Physical abuse by proxy can be just as harming to a child's health and wellbeing as well and contributes to their ACES...

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"If it is the case (and I don't think it is) that kids today are so much worse than ever before... just like to point out they've been brought up by the 'didn't do me any harm' generation.

Perhaps the focus should be on why they're such shit parents.

It’s always everyone else’s kids who are much worse though

That and the blokes who've had fuck all involvement with bringing up their kids (or have no kids at all) but still feel a few slaps will sort out the kids they've no clue about.

Pure comedy. "

So what you are in fact saying is everyone can have an opinion as long as that opinion is the same as yours. what is pure comedy is the fact this is a discussion forum but differences of opinion are not allowed and we wonder why society is in the state it is. That's pure comedy well done

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"If it is the case (and I don't think it is) that kids today are so much worse than ever before... just like to point out they've been brought up by the 'didn't do me any harm' generation.

Perhaps the focus should be on why they're such shit parents.

It’s always everyone else’s kids who are much worse though

That and the blokes who've had fuck all involvement with bringing up their kids (or have no kids at all) but still feel a few slaps will sort out the kids they've no clue about.

Pure comedy. So what you are in fact saying is everyone can have an opinion as long as that opinion is the same as yours. what is pure comedy is the fact this is a discussion forum but differences of opinion are not allowed and we wonder why society is in the state it is. That's pure comedy well done "

They are allowed - they're written above for all to see.

You're allowed to give your opinion. I'm allowed to express my opinion that your opinion is shite.

A discussion forum

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"If it is the case (and I don't think it is) that kids today are so much worse than ever before... just like to point out they've been brought up by the 'didn't do me any harm' generation.

Perhaps the focus should be on why they're such shit parents.

It’s always everyone else’s kids who are much worse though

That and the blokes who've had fuck all involvement with bringing up their kids (or have no kids at all) but still feel a few slaps will sort out the kids they've no clue about.

Pure comedy. So what you are in fact saying is everyone can have an opinion as long as that opinion is the same as yours. what is pure comedy is the fact this is a discussion forum but differences of opinion are not allowed and we wonder why society is in the state it is. That's pure comedy well done

They are allowed - they're written above for all to see.

You're allowed to give your opinion. I'm allowed to express my opinion that your opinion is shite.

A discussion forum "

you need to learn to read "everyone can have an opinion as long as that opinion is the same as yours" and you just proved what I said like you said yourself Pure comedy

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"you need to learn to read "everyone can have an opinion as long as that opinion is the same as yours" and you just proved what I said like you said yourself Pure comedy "

Glad to hear you've changed your opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"you need to learn to read "everyone can have an opinion as long as that opinion is the same as yours" and you just proved what I said like you said yourself Pure comedy

Glad to hear you've changed your opinion

"

I haven't and your reading skills are getting worse by the minute

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By *ark73XXXMan
36 weeks ago

North Staffs/South Cheshire


"If it is the case (and I don't think it is) that kids today are so much worse than ever before... just like to point out they've been brought up by the 'didn't do me any harm' generation.

Perhaps the focus should be on why they're such shit parents.

It’s always everyone else’s kids who are much worse though

That and the blokes who've had fuck all involvement with bringing up their kids (or have no kids at all) but still feel a few slaps will sort out the kids they've no clue about.

Pure comedy. So what you are in fact saying is everyone can have an opinion as long as that opinion is the same as yours. what is pure comedy is the fact this is a discussion forum but differences of opinion are not allowed and we wonder why society is in the state it is. That's pure comedy well done "

You’re allowed your opinion and they’re allowed to disagree with your opinion. That’s how it works.

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By *ark73XXXMan
36 weeks ago

North Staffs/South Cheshire


"I was never smacked as a child and thank God for that , I know my dad got absolutely battered by his dad on a regular and he swore he'd never lay a finger on me ,

I could t imagine hitting my son now either , this whole it never did me any harm mentality is complete horseshit , terrifying a child to behave with violence isn't discipline it's abuse pure and simple ."

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"If it is the case (and I don't think it is) that kids today are so much worse than ever before... just like to point out they've been brought up by the 'didn't do me any harm' generation.

Perhaps the focus should be on why they're such shit parents.

It’s always everyone else’s kids who are much worse though

That and the blokes who've had fuck all involvement with bringing up their kids (or have no kids at all) but still feel a few slaps will sort out the kids they've no clue about.

Pure comedy. So what you are in fact saying is everyone can have an opinion as long as that opinion is the same as yours. what is pure comedy is the fact this is a discussion forum but differences of opinion are not allowed and we wonder why society is in the state it is. That's pure comedy well done

You’re allowed your opinion and they’re allowed to disagree with your opinion. That’s how it works.

"

There are ways to disagree berating people with a different opinion just because they are male or don't have children is not the way to do it but then maybe its just the way some people are brought up

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Horsham

No, I don't think it should.

Mainly due to people realising they like to be spanked, imagine a whole kink dying out due to not being smacked on the bum as a kid.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"There are ways to disagree berating people with a different opinion just because they are male or don't have children is not the way to do it but then maybe its just the way some people are brought up "

It isn't 'just because you're male'. It's because your opinion is shite. It just happens to be shared by a series of people who mostly seem to be male too, many of which I suspect haven't had much role in the the upbringing of kids. In your particular case none.

Of course you're allowed your opinion. You gave it. It's no different to me being permitted to have an opinion on the best methods for taking a shit on the moon. I can give it. But it has little value.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I wish they’d pass a law where we can smack adults. …

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I wish they’d pass a law where we can smack adults. … "

Adults do abuse each other it is called abuse and not allowed

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Play nicely folks. No need to be unfriendly with discussion..

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I wish they’d pass a law where we can smack adults. …

Adults do abuse each other it is called abuse and not allowed"

It was a joke.

*Woody turns on his paper shredder, and start to take pages out of his joke book, and with the screeching sound of defeat, the paper is torn, and more risky, jokes, never to be seen again and he’s left with only family friendly dad jokes.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I wish they’d pass a law where we can smack adults. … "

Do you smack your meets arse

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I wish they’d pass a law where we can smack adults. …

Do you smack your meets arse "

No. I kiss it.

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By *rHotNottsMan
36 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Should it banned for puppies & kittens to ? They can be pretty naughty too

All lives matter

Never needed to smack my kids they were angels , but the kitten had a few beatings, although she did agree to it when we met on here.

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By *ond Jimmy BondMan
36 weeks ago

London

There’s other ways of controlling your kids and guiding them in the right direction that doesn’t involve attacking them

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
36 weeks ago

Chelmsford

A straw poll suggests the majority are against the mild chastisement of a child by a smack. Why don't the government just hold a referendum on such matters. What could possibly go wrong ?

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
36 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

I think those trying to distinguish between levels of force used in hitting children are somewhat missing the point.

Even if the smack is just a light tap, it's the psychological effect of being hit by someone much bigger than you, who controls your resources, access to food, and doesn't attempt to justify their actions outside of 'misbehaviour' that causes the damage.

The only time I think it's justifiable to hit anyone is if they hit you/threaten to hit you first.

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By *ond Jimmy BondMan
36 weeks ago

London


"I think those trying to distinguish between levels of force used in hitting children are somewhat missing the point.

Even if the smack is just a light tap, it's the psychological effect of being hit by someone much bigger than you, who controls your resources, access to food, and doesn't attempt to justify their actions outside of 'misbehaviour' that causes the damage.

The only time I think it's justifiable to hit anyone is if they hit you/threaten to hit you first."

Good answer

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"There are ways to disagree berating people with a different opinion just because they are male or don't have children is not the way to do it but then maybe its just the way some people are brought up

It isn't 'just because you're male'. It's because your opinion is shite. It just happens to be shared by a series of people who mostly seem to be male too, many of which I suspect haven't had much role in the the upbringing of kids. In your particular case none.

Of course you're allowed your opinion. You gave it. It's no different to me being permitted to have an opinion on the best methods for taking a shit on the moon. I can give it. But it has little value."

Tell you what I'll stop commenting on this subject as you are clearly too dim to see the irony that just because my opinion is different to yours that you feel the need to call it shite. Just because I don't have children does not mean my opinion doesn't matter the thread asked what people's opinions were and speaking from my memory as a child I gave my opinion what you think of that opinion has no relevance. It's just a shame you lack the intelligence to see that and felt the need to post about males or people with no kid's opinions are shite. You could have just said you didn't agree or said nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"There are ways to disagree berating people with a different opinion just because they are male or don't have children is not the way to do it but then maybe its just the way some people are brought up

It isn't 'just because you're male'. It's because your opinion is shite. It just happens to be shared by a series of people who mostly seem to be male too, many of which I suspect haven't had much role in the the upbringing of kids. In your particular case none.

Of course you're allowed your opinion. You gave it. It's no different to me being permitted to have an opinion on the best methods for taking a shit on the moon. I can give it. But it has little value. Tell you what I'll stop commenting on this subject as you are clearly too dim to see the irony that just because my opinion is different to yours that you feel the need to call it shite. Just because I don't have children does not mean my opinion doesn't matter the thread asked what people's opinions were and speaking from my memory as a child I gave my opinion what you think of that opinion has no relevance. It's just a shame you lack the intelligence to see that and felt the need to post about males or people with no kid's opinions are shite. You could have just said you didn't agree or said nothing"

Said nothing. As in don't give my opinion?

Calm down with the personal abuse. I said your opinion is shite, not that you're dim or lack intelligence. I even resisted the temptation to make a joke about whether you'd had too many slaps to the head as a child

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
36 weeks ago

Cumbria


"There are ways to disagree berating people with a different opinion just because they are male or don't have children is not the way to do it but then maybe its just the way some people are brought up

It isn't 'just because you're male'. It's because your opinion is shite. It just happens to be shared by a series of people who mostly seem to be male too, many of which I suspect haven't had much role in the the upbringing of kids. In your particular case none.

Of course you're allowed your opinion. You gave it. It's no different to me being permitted to have an opinion on the best methods for taking a shit on the moon. I can give it. But it has little value. Tell you what I'll stop commenting on this subject as you are clearly too dim to see the irony that just because my opinion is different to yours that you feel the need to call it shite. Just because I don't have children does not mean my opinion doesn't matter the thread asked what people's opinions were and speaking from my memory as a child I gave my opinion what you think of that opinion has no relevance. It's just a shame you lack the intelligence to see that and felt the need to post about males or people with no kid's opinions are shite. You could have just said you didn't agree or said nothing"

To be fair there is a weird belief around that someone’s unqualified opinion carries as much weight as a person’s expert knowledge or experience. It’s only natural to not take seriously the opinion on parenting of someone who has never done it.

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By *amierebelMan
36 weeks ago

nae danger.


"I think those trying to distinguish between levels of force used in hitting children are somewhat missing the point.

Even if the smack is just a light tap, it's the psychological effect of being hit by someone much bigger than you, who controls your resources, access to food, and doesn't attempt to justify their actions outside of 'misbehaviour' that causes the damage.

The only time I think it's justifiable to hit anyone is if they hit you/threaten to hit you first."

Absolutely 100 per cent, I agree as someone who's having to deal with the outcome of this and emotional effects it has on my own children hitting them because "you're bigger than them and you can" I also speak as someone who was smacked hit etc as a child aswell as a product of care wich this hitting albeit by a step parent played a part that cunt was told try hit me again I guarantee you I will hit you back and you best believe you'll feel it. Also its a complete and utter b.s cop out to say it did me no harm or my bro/sis. Some people genuinely shouldn't be allowed to be parents over chastisement you have no idea the effects it actually has on your kids and the emotional damage it does. Some yall need take a long hard look in the mirror and be a better parent to your children listen to them get on their level there's always a way deal with there stroppy behaviour other than your hand

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By *tsJustKateWoman
36 weeks ago

London


"Will point out that if you smack a child around the face will cause it trauma with ptsd. It will damage their developing brain.

Do you need to..no.

Teaching right from wrong.Do it another way.

Yes smacking should be banned here"

"Trauma with PTSD"?

Me and hubby were bought up in the age of corporal punishment at school. He told he has been hit the head, face, hands legs and arse with yardstick, canes, plimpsoles and hands and even a chair leg and had blackboard cleaners thrown at his head on a regular basis, yes he was a a very naughty kid at school. He hasnt suffered from trauma or PTSD because of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"Will point out that if you smack a child around the face will cause it trauma with ptsd. It will damage their developing brain.

Do you need to..no.

Teaching right from wrong.Do it another way.

Yes smacking should be banned here

"Trauma with PTSD"?

Me and hubby were bought up in the age of corporal punishment at school. He told he has been hit the head, face, hands legs and arse with yardstick, canes, plimpsoles and hands and even a chair leg and had blackboard cleaners thrown at his head on a regular basis, yes he was a a very naughty kid at school. He hasnt suffered from trauma or PTSD because of it. "

Yes,many children with complex trauma ptsd I belong to the UK TRAUMA SOCIETY and train there.

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
36 weeks ago

Redditch

Smacking hand or back of legs / bum a little as a short sharp shock isn't going to traumatise. Using a tool and making it habitual aa they age is obv very different.

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By *amierebelMan
36 weeks ago

nae danger.


"Smacking hand or back of legs / bum a little as a short sharp shock isn't going to traumatise. Using a tool and making it habitual aa they age is obv very different."

Bullshit

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I don’t think children should be hit. And I say that as someone that was hit as a child and grew up and went to school amongst lots of kids where we would laugh about stories of getting ‘beats’. Just because it was whatever to us doesn’t make it acceptable.

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By *ark73XXXMan
36 weeks ago

North Staffs/South Cheshire


"If it is the case (and I don't think it is) that kids today are so much worse than ever before... just like to point out they've been brought up by the 'didn't do me any harm' generation.

Perhaps the focus should be on why they're such shit parents.

It’s always everyone else’s kids who are much worse though

That and the blokes who've had fuck all involvement with bringing up their kids (or have no kids at all) but still feel a few slaps will sort out the kids they've no clue about.

Pure comedy. So what you are in fact saying is everyone can have an opinion as long as that opinion is the same as yours. what is pure comedy is the fact this is a discussion forum but differences of opinion are not allowed and we wonder why society is in the state it is. That's pure comedy well done

You’re allowed your opinion and they’re allowed to disagree with your opinion. That’s how it works.

There are ways to disagree berating people with a different opinion just because they are male or don't have children is not the way to do it but then maybe its just the way some people are brought up "

Maybe beating the crap out of them makes them better people eh?

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By *ou only live onceMan
36 weeks ago

London

I don't have children, but I can't imagine hitting them if I did. I don't even hit my dog (why would you?!)

Interested to hear from parents how it feels to smack a child? Do you regret it afterwards or feel it was the right thing to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I’ll also add, I don’t think my mum is a bad or abusive mum for hitting me. I wish she didn’t. But being a parent is more than those moments. She’s been an amazing mum mostly. Not always but mostly.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
36 weeks ago

North West


"I don't have children, but I can't imagine hitting them if I did. I don't even hit my dog (why would you?!)

Interested to hear from parents how it feels to smack a child? Do you regret it afterwards or feel it was the right thing to do?

"

I smacked my son once. I hated myself and never, ever did it again. I was smacked (hit, really) as a child so I think I was modelling what I'd been "taught". It wasn't a good lesson. I've never smacked or otherwise physically chastised my children since then. Nor will I ever.

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By *ussyslave34Man
36 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I was hit as a kid due to my disability and hated it, no child deserves to be hit no matter what they did. I suffer with depression and anxiety because of it.

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By *ou only live onceMan
36 weeks ago

London


"I don't have children, but I can't imagine hitting them if I did. I don't even hit my dog (why would you?!)

Interested to hear from parents how it feels to smack a child? Do you regret it afterwards or feel it was the right thing to do?

I smacked my son once. I hated myself and never, ever did it again. I was smacked (hit, really) as a child so I think I was modelling what I'd been "taught". It wasn't a good lesson. I've never smacked or otherwise physically chastised my children since then. Nor will I ever."

Thanks, KC. I should have said, I wasn't trying to be judgy. I obviously have no idea what it's like, and I can understand parents' frustration if a child is being very naughty (uncles' privilege means my nieces don't misbehave around me, saving that for their parents!). But it seems whenever I see it happen, the parent immediately regrets it, which suggests they know it's not ideal...

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By *oubleswing2019Man
36 weeks ago

Colchester

Smacked as a kid. Horse-whipped actually. Slippered and caned at school too.

.

It taught me a lesson.

.

That adults cannot be trusted and violence is never far away if you say or do the wrong thing.

.

My coping mechanism was to avoid my parents as much as possible and spend as little time in their company.

.

That carried on through life. One I did not see for 40 years (now dead). The other I see rarely.

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By *tsJustKateWoman
36 weeks ago

London


"Will point out that if you smack a child around the face will cause it trauma with ptsd. It will damage their developing brain.

Do you need to..no.

Teaching right from wrong.Do it another way.

Yes smacking should be banned here

"Trauma with PTSD"?

Me and hubby were bought up in the age of corporal punishment at school. He told he has been hit the head, face, hands legs and arse with yardstick, canes, plimpsoles and hands and even a chair leg and had blackboard cleaners thrown at his head on a regular basis, yes he was a a very naughty kid at school. He hasnt suffered from trauma or PTSD because of it.

Yes,many children with complex trauma ptsd I belong to the UK TRAUMA SOCIETY and train there."

If its a regular occurrence. She makes it sound like a one-off will do it.

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
35 weeks ago

Redditch

Thr issue seems to be that people can't separate out the idea of smacking a bum or the back of a hand as a short sharp shock and trauma inducing abuse

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago


"Thr issue seems to be that people can't separate out the idea of smacking a bum or the back of a hand as a short sharp shock and trauma inducing abuse"

Now I wonder why that is

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By *aughtySexualArousalMan
35 weeks ago

SPALDING

I don't think smacking or no smacking to punish children works either way, they see and hear about gang culture and take that on board. Obviously not all kids but definitely a fair few. The same as slang language is starting to become more and more. I was smacked as a child and think it done me good. I don't smack my children. I take away their technology, but that's also a big different to when I was a child as didn't have the technology then as we do now. The world changes and yes so should punishments. There's a line between smacking and a beating. That's where a lot of people get caught.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
35 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Well it's blatantly clear that the current softly softly approach to discipline in this country.

Anyone who works in a school will tell you that the teachers and staff are no longer in charge.

So taking smacking/ corporal punishment OUT of the equation a radical and new system needs to be though of something where the children understand the boundaries that they cannot cross and if they do there will be consequences for their actions.

A system that doesn't hamstring parents from being able to discipline THEIR child that won't incur the wrath of the liberal do gooders who have brought us to a point where adults no longer have any way of bringing wayward badly behaved children in line, by blaming everyone and everything else but the child.

In nature if a kitten is doing something bad or going to hurt itself the mummy cat gives the kitten a paddy swipe, kitty stops lessons learned.

OBVIOUSLY we are human and our brains are different but if children are to learn right from wrong, respect and understanding that bad behaviour has consequences this must start at home long before our children even start school.

Sticking a child Infront of a phone or TV every waking hour isn't the way forward, rewarding bad behaviour with phones and tablets, PlayStation and the like teaches our children nothing other than if they carry on a reward follows.

Making a huge fuss every time a child misbehave, counselling and therapy WHY not every child has deep seated issues that needs therapy in fact most don't they just need to know that NO means No.

Simple

They are children they are learning it's our job as adults to teach them right from wrong, let's stop passing the buck to others take responsibility for our children and toughen up,it's easy to give in laziness on parents behalf is a massive reason for this situation.

So my radical plan isn't smacking or therapy it's teaching parents to be fucking parents,not the kid's friend or mate.

It can't be that difficult??

Most kids are great and well behaved but everyone has a moment particularly when hormones kick in so let's stop therapising and analyzing it and keep it simple.

We have created a whole generation where everything is traumatic and requires long discussions.

Let's be brutally honest we need to harden up a bit and realise that sometimes it just needs some tough love x

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago


"There's a line between smacking and a beating. That's where a lot of people get caught."

I'm in one of the 'didn't do me any harm' generations... except the blood and the bruises suggested maybe it did do me harm.

It's hard for an angry parent to moderate that 'line'. It's all well and good people making out a little slap is a calm controlled method of discipline but for many it's nothing like reality. Parent's lash out in anger and then justify their actions as discipline.

There's no place for it today. If you can't discipline your child through other methods including talking things through with them, you're not fit to be a parent.

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By *aughtySexualArousalMan
35 weeks ago

SPALDING


"There's a line between smacking and a beating. That's where a lot of people get caught.

I'm in one of the 'didn't do me any harm' generations... except the blood and the bruises suggested maybe it did do me harm.

It's hard for an angry parent to moderate that 'line'. It's all well and good people making out a little slap is a calm controlled method of discipline but for many it's nothing like reality. Parent's lash out in anger and then justify their actions as discipline.

There's no place for it today. If you can't discipline your child through other methods including talking things through with them, you're not fit to be a parent. "

I think you need to read my comment again, I never said I slap my kids and don't ever tell me I'm not fit to be a parent. I'm a brilliant father. Funny how you only took part of my comment. What an absolute dick.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
35 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

Why is it ok for adults to hit children but not each other?

Sports such as boxing and consensual impact play between adults aside.

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By *weet LisaTV/TS
35 weeks ago

Crawley

Why sometimes I just wanna...

Seriously though there are so many ways that you can discipline a child. Spanking them would never be an option for me.

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By *naswingdressWoman
35 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I don’t think children should be hit. And I say that as someone that was hit as a child and grew up and went to school amongst lots of kids where we would laugh about stories of getting ‘beats’. Just because it was whatever to us doesn’t make it acceptable. "

Agreed

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By *ravelling_WilburyMan
35 weeks ago

Beverley


"Some so called experts inform that the smacking is cyclical in that those who smack grow up to be violent. Is it too early to see that violence in Scotland and Northern Ireland has all but ended ?"

Speaking of cyclical, is anyone mildly entertained by this monotonous drivel?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
35 weeks ago

North West

Ban smacking.

The end.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago


"There's a line between smacking and a beating. That's where a lot of people get caught.

I'm in one of the 'didn't do me any harm' generations... except the blood and the bruises suggested maybe it did do me harm.

It's hard for an angry parent to moderate that 'line'. It's all well and good people making out a little slap is a calm controlled method of discipline but for many it's nothing like reality. Parent's lash out in anger and then justify their actions as discipline.

There's no place for it today. If you can't discipline your child through other methods including talking things through with them, you're not fit to be a parent.

I think you need to read my comment again, I never said I slap my kids and don't ever tell me I'm not fit to be a parent. I'm a brilliant father. Funny how you only took part of my comment. What an absolute dick."

I replied to a point you made. It's what people do on a forum.

Apart from those unable to handle debate and who need to resort to calling those who disagree with them 'absolute dicks'.

I never said if you're fit to be a parent. I don't know you and hope that I never will.

If you can't handle adult debate, stay off the adult sites.

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By *TG3Man
35 weeks ago

Dorchester


"Studies have shown that children who are smacked tend to perform worse in school & score lower in IQ tests. These are well established findings which were published years ago from multiple sources (Google it).

For me, once you become aware of that, any other noise around the subject becomes secondary/irrelevant.

In Safegaurding we call it adverse childhood experiences (ACES) which as you rightly say it can impact on their learning and development. It can also impact on their relationships, they may find that it affects future relationships (attachment) and could start the cycle of abuse with their own children.

It can also impact on health, studies have shown that the more ACES a person has the more predispositioned they are not only to poor mental health but to poor physical health too.

Everyone has ACES, there is no denying it. But the more a child has have the more at risk they are of these future issues.

Physical abuse by proxy can be just as harming to a child's health and wellbeing as well and contributes to their ACES...

"

lol theirs always an abbreviation for the new ways that don't work, my dad gave me a hiding when i was in the wrong and it didn't do me any harm either and i agree with the guy earlier todays discipline isn't working kids would even attack you today if you say something they don't like because they know we aren't allowed to touch them, i had a young lad actually attack me and i had to think twice about retaliating. Something has seriously gone wrong with todays parenting and discipline and the only thing you can do is bang on about it being abuse lol

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