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"Eggy bread and a hot chocolate please " eggy bread okay, as its you I will make it 
Would you like cream on your hot chocolate?  | |||
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"Eggy bread and a hot chocolate please
eggy bread okay, as its you I will make it
Would you like cream on your hot chocolate? "Awfully kind madam! Lashings of Tommy K please. No cream or marshmallows, I’m not 12 | |||
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"A blind date, tea and bacon roll please" Okay......I will place a teeny tiny blindfold on your Medjool date if that's what you request 
Tea and bacon butty coming up.
Red or brown sauce in your butty? | |||
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"Bacon butty and a decaf tea please. "Any sauce in your bacon butty? | |||
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"Eggy bread and a hot chocolate please
eggy bread okay, as its you I will make it
Would you like cream on your hot chocolate?
Awfully kind madam! Lashings of Tommy K please. No cream or marshmallows, I’m not 12 "Fine by me! I'll have the squirty cream and marshmallows as I am 12 | |||
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"Eggs, bacon well done, beans, doorstop bread and a massive mug of tea please "Yes sir! 
When you say massive....are we talking paddling pool sized or swimming pool sized?  | |||
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"Bacon butty and a decaf tea please.
Any sauce in your bacon butty? "I'll have some ketchup please  | |||
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"Definitely brown " | |||
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"Just a coffee please Just had bacon sandwich with HP sauce Ta muchly "Of course! Pull up a pew and I will be with you in a jiffy | |||
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If you ain’t scared of the big black mamba  haha | |||
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"A pumpkin spice latte would be perfect this morning; thank you OP. "For you Meli, anything | |||
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"I would like if it's not too much bother: A Ham, mature cheese and crinkle crisp sandwich, with Branston pickle on please. "OMG I might make one of these bad boys for me too! Marry me? | |||
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"Coffee, sourdough toast and peanut butter, please. " How do you take your coffee? Sourdough toast and peanut butter coming right up | |||
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"I would like if it's not too much bother: A Ham, mature cheese and crinkle crisp sandwich, with Branston pickle on please.
OMG I might make one of these bad boys for me too!
Marry me? "In a heartbeat op | |||
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"Ooh great cos I can't be arsed getting up. Can I have a cup of black tea, crispy rashers and toast please "Please stay where you are, brekkie is on its way | |||
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"Bacon butty and a decaf tea please.
Any sauce in your bacon butty?
I'll have some ketchup please "Its ready and waiting for you | |||
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"Eggs, bacon well done, beans, doorstop bread and a massive mug of tea please
Yes sir!
When you say massive....are we talking paddling pool sized or swimming pool sized? "Well, if it’s cold outside, a swimming pool size otherwise paddling pool size will do. Also a generous squirt of brown sauce over the plate please | |||
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"Coffee, sourdough toast and peanut butter, please. How do you take your coffee? Sourdough toast and peanut butter coming right up "No milk, no sugar, and strong enough to melt the spoon thanks. | |||
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"A cappuccino & under the table blowjob please
If you ain’t scared of the big black mamba haha"Cappuccino coming up BJ? Well it is a Fabulous cafe you never know, someone might be cock hungry this morning. Anyone? Anyone? Anyone at all? 
But it's nice that you bought your pet snake in. Pets are very welcome | |||
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"Sorry already just demolished a full Scottish in Dobbies!"  Dobbies brekkie!!
That's ok I'm just glad you popped by | |||
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"A hot chocolate and blow jobs from the sexy waitresses please. Do you do take outs? Like to take a couple home with me please." Hot chocolate coming up Sadly all my waitresses are busy right now, but I know CrispyDuck was waiting for a bj.... | |||
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"Eggs, bacon well done, beans, doorstop bread and a massive mug of tea please
Yes sir!
When you say massive....are we talking paddling pool sized or swimming pool sized?
Well, if it’s cold outside, a swimming pool size otherwise paddling pool size will do. Also a generous squirt of brown sauce over the plate please "It's fucking freezing outside swimming pool sized mug coming up
Noted- lashings of the brown stuff everywhere | |||
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"Full English please. With my beans on the plate, not in a silly pot. "Don't worry this cafe ain't a posh one. You're lucky you're getting a plate let alone a silly pot for your beans
Full English on its way | |||
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"I’ll just have eggs over-easy, and some hash browns. Oh and a black coffee! " Good choice!
Pull up a pew, won't be long | |||
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"Coffee, sourdough toast and peanut butter, please. How do you take your coffee? Sourdough toast and peanut butter coming right up
No milk, no sugar, and strong enough to melt the spoon thanks.
" | |||
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"Hot chocolate and waffles with maple syrup please. Nomnomnom" Good choice indeed! be with you very soon | |||
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"I'll have a full Irish extra soda bread and a strong coffee please! " Of course! I have a bit of a queue forming But it will be with you very soon | |||
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"Eggs, bacon well done, beans, doorstop bread and a massive mug of tea please
Yes sir!
When you say massive....are we talking paddling pool sized or swimming pool sized?
Well, if it’s cold outside, a swimming pool size otherwise paddling pool size will do. Also a generous squirt of brown sauce over the plate please
It's fucking freezing outside swimming pool sized mug coming up
Noted- lashings of the brown stuff everywhere "You’re the best !! Thank you x | |||
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"Bacon sarnie on white bread with brown sauce and a strong tea please " Lots of requests for this, this morning
On its way | |||
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"Scrambled eggs on a slice of buttered sourdough, 2 bacon ( not over cooked or crispy) and some button mushrooms. Large pot of tea (loose breakfast leaf). Thank you. Anyone able to give shoulder and neck massage also. Thank you " For you, anything
*Gets the massage oils out just in case I'm the chosen one* | |||
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"Poached eggs on toast with some thick cut bacon on sour dough toast. Bottomless coffee too please "On its way
Bottomless coffee is what I need this morning too | |||
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"A smooth English breakfast tea with a nice bacon butty. Brown sauce please "Of course _hillout
Hope you're keeping well young man? | |||
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"Full English please. With my beans on the plate, not in a silly pot.
Don't worry this cafe ain't a posh one. You're lucky you're getting a plate let alone a silly pot for your beans
Full English on its way "Mind you, Given the quality of the place we're currently staying, and the quality of the breakfast. The bean pot is just about forgiven | |||
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"Caramel flat white and a cheese croissant pls." Cheese croissant- good choice
Caramel flat white and croissant on its way | |||
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"Bacon sandwich, VERY soft white bread please" Only the good stuff served here 
On its way | |||
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"What would you like? "Continental breakfast please! Cheese, salami and ham mmmmmmmm | |||
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"Brioche French toast with bacon and maple syrup please. " Your order is ready and waiting | |||
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"Wow great to see you back! Was just talking about you the other day. Spooky! I’ll have a cappuccino please "Nora!!!! Hey you
Pull up a pew next to me, you can have your cappuccino and we can have a catch-up whilst I dust off my powdery buns for the fellow Fab folk to sink their teeth into | |||
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"Wow great to see you back! Was just talking about you the other day. Spooky! I’ll have a cappuccino please
Nora!!!! Hey you
Pull up a pew next to me, you can have your cappuccino and we can have a catch-up whilst I dust off my powdery buns for the fellow Fab folk to sink their teeth into"Excellent I’ll help you dust off your powdery buns | |||
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"A smooth English breakfast tea with a nice bacon butty. Brown sauce please
Of course _hillout
Hope you're keeping well young man? "Oh, it's you! Welcome back | |||
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"A nice cafe latte, Eggs done in olive oil with pepper and rock salt and then laid on a crumpet which has some bacon on it. Split the egg, let the yoke run into the crumpet. Nom Nom Nom.. drink coffee. mange tout Rodney." I will pass you the apron | |||
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"What would you like?
Continental breakfast please! Cheese, salami and ham mmmmmmmm"Continental breakfast coming right up | |||
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"Just a coffee please Just had bacon sandwich with HP sauce Ta muchly
Of course! Pull up a pew and I will be with you in a jiffy " | |||
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"A smooth English breakfast tea with a nice bacon butty. Brown sauce please
Of course _hillout
Hope you're keeping well young man?
Oh, it's you! Welcome back "Hey you missed me? | |||
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"Fried eggs and toast please " Good choice indeed! Coming right up | |||
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"Builders brew, Baguette with unsmoked bacon, fried portobello mushrooms, and some duck eggs. Ghost chilli sauce on top please ?? " Ooooo that does sound good I might have one of those myself | |||
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"Eggy bread and a hot chocolate please "Not had eggy bread for years. Good shout! | |||
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"A tea and a kiss please" Cuppa tea coming up | |||
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"A nice black pudding, bacon, saussage, egg and haggis cob would be great "For you, anything
Cuppa on the side? | |||
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"I could go a toasted teacake with lots of butter and a cosy cup of tea right now "Perfect elevenses | |||
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"Eggy bread and a hot chocolate please
Not had eggy bread for years. Good shout!"Another eggy bread coming right up | |||
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"A smooth English breakfast tea with a nice bacon butty. Brown sauce please
Of course _hillout
Hope you're keeping well young man?
Oh, it's you! Welcome back
Hey you missed me? "Good forum folk are always missed | |||
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"A tea and a kiss please Cuppa tea coming up "thank u | |||
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"A smooth English breakfast tea with a nice bacon butty. Brown sauce please
Of course _hillout
Hope you're keeping well young man?
Oh, it's you! Welcome back
Hey you missed me?
Good forum folk are always missed "Stop it!  | |||
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"Pie and beans please " Which type of pie?
Pork?
Shephards?
Cottage?
Steak?
Chicken?
Veg?
Steak and ale?
Banoffee?
Cream?  | |||
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Kettles just boiled, hob is hot
What are you having? | |||
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Mr | |||
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"Eggs Benedict and an Americano please "Coming right up
Would you like a clean cloth for your table or are you going to use the towel that is currently being propped up by the morning wood in your profile pic? | |||
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"Coffee, bacon, scrambled eggs, coffee, mushrooms, tomatoes, coffee, black pudding, coffee, brown sauce, and coffee please." Did you want some coffee with that order? | |||
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"Dirty chai latte, cheese and ham omelette and a date with a gorgeous guy please "Food order is on its way
It's the morning rush, so pull up a pew near the door and just grab one of them  | |||
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"Bacon and black pudding sandwich and a black coffee please
Mr"Bacon and black pudding sandwich you fiend! Get out! | |||
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"Coffee, bacon, scrambled eggs, coffee, mushrooms, tomatoes, coffee, black pudding, coffee, brown sauce, and coffee please. Did you want some coffee with that order? "Oh yes please OP. You're a superstar .
Can I have some coffee too please? | |||
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"Just copious amounts of tea please." I will pass you the industrial sized tea pot, enjoy! | |||
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"Full English, cup of tea please. Woke up Starving !" Of course! Pull up a pew and I'll be right with you | |||
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"Bacon and black pudding sandwich and a black coffee please
Mr
Bacon and black pudding sandwich you fiend! Get out! "*lifts up collar of trenchcoat and slinks out of cafe in shame. And hungry | |||
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"Tea and poached egg on toast" Good choice
Won't be long | |||
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 please ...with deep thick creamy frosting | |||
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"Tea and a flirt for me please "Cup of tea and a kiss with the lovely Bella? | |||
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"Sautéed mushrooms (cooked with a few drops of Marsala wine) on brioche toast, with a piping hot Cafetière. Thank you. "For you Nero, anything you desire | |||
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"A long passionate kiss, lots of foreplay and a "happy ending" oh, and a black coffee, decafe please." Cup of coffee coming up | |||
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"Anything unhealthy with a mug of Yorkshire tea pleaseX" Full English? Pastry selection? Left over Chinese from last night? All of the above? | |||
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"Sautéed mushrooms (cooked with a few drops of Marsala wine) on brioche toast, with a piping hot Cafetière. Thank you.
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For you Nero, anything you desire "• Sometimes the things that I ·desire· are often unattainable. Quite often the things that I wish to covet are 'inseducable'.  | |||
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"Lobster Raviolo, Suffolk pork fillet and apple tarte Tatin for a tenner" For a tenner? pfft!
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"Greasy fry up, couple of slices of well buttered toast & a steaming mug of black coffee please guv "Yes sir! | |||
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"Greasy fry up, couple of slices of well buttered toast & a steaming mug of black coffee please guv
Yes sir! "Thank you
Oh... Forgot to say, no tomatoes, black pudding or mushrooms ?? | |||
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"Tea, please, and yogurt with granola. Let me know if you need a hand with anything, I'll gladly help out!" Oh thank you!
If you could just leave your clothes behind the counter and start serving some of the food that would be amazing | |||
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"A gluten-free option that isn't a brownie, please. "You're in luck! I've just made a fresh batch of gluten free breakfast muffins, pancakes and smoothies just for you | |||
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"Tea and a flirt for me please
Cup of tea and a kiss with the lovely Bella? "Perfect | |||
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"Carrot cake please ...with deep thick creamy frosting "There does appear to be some sort of thick creamy substance building up in the corner of the Fab cafe, but I'm not sure if you want that on your carrot cake? | |||
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"Large black coffee and a window seat to watch the world go by." Wild_oats I have the perfect window seat with your name all over it
Pull up a pew and I'll bring your large black coffee to you very soon | |||
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"Cup of tea (black) please and a good old Muffin would be great" How old would you like your muffin? I think I have some out the back from the 90s | |||
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"I hope you are getting some help with all these orders OP, your cafe is clearly full to the brim of hungry Fabbers" Cockney_j they have clearly been working up an appetite this morning
I'm not jealous at all | |||
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I’ll nick a slice of French toast off someone’s plate. Can’t have a full portion- the insulin spike’s not worth it. | |||
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"Tea, please, and yogurt with granola. Let me know if you need a hand with anything, I'll gladly help out! Oh thank you!
If you could just leave your clothes behind the counter and start serving some of the food that would be amazing "You got it! Tell me what you want me to do. | |||
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"Cup of tea (black) please and a good old Muffin would be great How old would you like your muffin? I think I have some out the back from the 90s "Brb, just calling the health inspector | |||
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"Could I get hold of your buns please. " Of course! Which buns do you fancy? Seeded Brioche Chelsea Hair | |||
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"Coffee And just some cornflakes Please And put a pinne on don’t want you’re boobies covered in milk Well not unless you want to "You want me to cover up? | |||
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"I’d love a hot chocolate please Woke up to snow this morning. I’m freezing "Hot chocolate coming right up
If you need any assistance with warming up, please let me know | |||
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x | |||
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"All the above double the teaX"
Somebodies hungry!
Be with you ASAP | |||
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"Eggs Benedict and an Americano please
Coming right up
Would you like a clean cloth for your table or are you going to use the towel that is currently being propped up by the morning wood in your profile pic? "A clean cloth please! Unless this is your subtle way of getting me to remove my towel | |||
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"A huuuugge cooked breakfast, a coffee, energy drink and a creme egg for afters please. " Woman after my own heart
Can I please watch how you eat your Creme egg? | |||
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"Greasy fry up, couple of slices of well buttered toast & a steaming mug of black coffee please guv
Yes sir!
Thank you
Oh... Forgot to say, no tomatoes, black pudding or mushrooms ??"No problem at all
I'll eat your mushrooms | |||
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"I'd like a hot chocolate and apple pie. Please & thank you x Mrs " Loving the please and thank you
You can have a double portion for that Mrs | |||
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"Milky sweet tea and a bacon butty red sauce "Good choice!
Should be with you in a few minutes | |||
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"Greasy fry up, couple of slices of well buttered toast & a steaming mug of black coffee please guv
Yes sir!
Thank you
Oh... Forgot to say, no tomatoes, black pudding or mushrooms ??
No problem at all
I'll eat your mushrooms "Perfect! Thank you | |||
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"I’d love a hot chocolate please Woke up to snow this morning. I’m freezing
Hot chocolate coming right up
If you need any assistance with warming up, please let me know "Thank you! Bring a blanket and jump in | |||
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"Coffee and danish please " We have a wonderful selection of fresh pastries, fill your boots!
Not literally though | |||
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"A pastry and a hot choc please "Would you like marshmallows and cream in your hot choc? | |||
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"Just ordered a small fry in Ashers in Carnmoney just out Belfast. Have a good weekend FABs " Hope you have a wonderful weekend too | |||
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"Lots of black coffee please
I’ll nick a slice of French toast off someone’s plate. Can’t have a full portion- the insulin spike’s not worth it. "Good morning Aviatrix
A litre of black coffee coming up
If you would like me to keep a close eye on you to make sure you don't have a hypo, I'm more than happy too | |||
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"Tea, please, and yogurt with granola. Let me know if you need a hand with anything, I'll gladly help out! Oh thank you!
If you could just leave your clothes behind the counter and start serving some of the food that would be amazing
You got it! Tell me what you want me to do. "If you can stop Wild_oats from lickng the window cause that's getting a bit weird Place another blanket around The Shivs as they are starting to turn blue Kick the health inspector out as they really do not want to see what I've buried out the back | |||
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"Cup of tea and a paracetamol please. I have a headache "Of course MB
Let me know if you need a gentle snuggle until the headache goes away | |||
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"Really Milky Gingerbread Latte please. With one pump of syrup, not two pumps x"Of course Honey_Bee. Anything else with your latte? | |||
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"Fish and chips please "Fish and chips for brekkie? Marry me? | |||
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"I’d love a hot chocolate please Woke up to snow this morning. I’m freezing
Hot chocolate coming right up
If you need any assistance with warming up, please let me know
Thank you!
Bring a blanket and jump in " | |||
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"Tea, please, and yogurt with granola. Let me know if you need a hand with anything, I'll gladly help out! Oh thank you!
If you could just leave your clothes behind the counter and start serving some of the food that would be amazing
You got it! Tell me what you want me to do.
If you can stop Wild_oats from lickng the window cause that's getting a bit weird
Place another blanket around The Shivs as they are starting to turn blue
Kick the health inspector out as they really do not want to see what I've buried out the back
"Wild_oates has been given something else to lick on - seems to like the taste, although I'm not sure it's healthy. The Shivs are suitably wrapped, and have found some other customers to share body heat with. I probably went a bit too far with the health inspector. Don't worry, I've found your spade..... | |||
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