FabSwingers.com forum: Anger issues

By *undance_Kid OP Man
44 weeks ago

London

When’s the last time you lost your temper and what did you do ? Just lost it at work with someone’s shitty email.

And breathe !!!

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By *obilebottomMan
44 weeks ago

All over

Not losing ny temper but do get annoyed at stupid people like drivers speeding at 60mph on a 30mph zone or not indicating or people who are inconsidetate to others around them, or have no customer service skills or cough and snort around you and don't have the courtesy to cover their gob and such like but usually either tut, call them something under my breath or raise my eyebrows. Losing temper, no.

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

A couple of days ago when my son blamed me for things I had no control over. I shouted back at him. He was being a dick but I wish I hadn't shouted.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
44 weeks ago

chichester

Last time I lost my rag it was an altercation in a carpark with a guy that opened his door on my car.

It got physical which was mildly amusing

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
44 weeks ago

East Sussex

It was over 25 years ago and involved a radiator spraying dirty water over a brand new carpet.

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By *amie HantsWoman
44 weeks ago

Atlantis

Driving home today. I was stuck in traffic and thought if I smacked my steering wheel and screamed in frustration as loud as I could no one would hear it.

I caught the guy in the car in the next lane looking at me in sheer horror. I then just looked ahead wishing for the ground to swallow me but then laughed as I just had to sit there, in standstill traffic, next to the guy that just watched me lose my shit over a very minor inconvenience

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By *oxy jWoman
44 weeks ago

somerset

at work ... never professional head on at all time ... losing my rag will get me nowhere as im the boss ... i get angry in a controlled manner and deal with things correctly...

at home .. i cant remember last time its that rare ...

in the car ... on boy this is where i let all my anger go verbally cunt wanker twat all used probably every mile ...

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By *ealitybitesMan
44 weeks ago

Belfast

5 or 6 years ago I took a member of staff through a disciplinary because of his inappropriate behaviour towards a female colleague.

A couple of days later he spent a couple of hours constantly digging at me and pushing my buttons and wouldn't take any instruction I gave him.

I eventually cracked and told him to do his fucking job or leave the building.

He responded by headbutting me and we wrestled for a few minutes before he was dragged away by others.

He immediately played the MH card and went off on the sick while I was suspended for gross misconduct.

That charge was lifted later that day and I returned to work the next day. He didn't return for over a month and I insisted he was moved to a different dept because just the sight of him made me angry.

Karma was a bitch for him though as I caught him stealing a couple of weeks later and it was captured on CCTV and he was sacked.

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By *olfandtazCouple
44 weeks ago

Bristol

Driving in the car and it's always slow assed drivers that do 30mph on a dual carriageway.... DONT GO IN THE ZOOM LANE IF YOU ARENT GOING TO ZOOM!!!!!

to quote the penguins from Madagascar

"Smile and wave boys, smile and wave"

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
44 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Road rage. I was driving in poor visibility, the guy behind took offence and was flashing his lights as he was tailgating me, backing off before accelerating up to my bumper again

I drove into town and came across the lights on red, I dumped the car and stormed up to his car, banged on the window asking him wtf his problem was???? And why was he targeting a lone woman? Did it make him feel hard putting a woman in her place? He wound down his car window and muttered about me driving too slow....Really cunt, and that gives you the right to be aggressive and abusive does it? He literally crawled up his own backside.

Meanwhile the lights had changed and changed again and people had started giving him abuse as well. A burly builder who was behind him came over and started having a pop at him as well, he'd seen and had taken his reg to report him. I took my exit at this point.

Not a lot angers me but Men acting aggressively to Women is a big trigger.

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By *ellinever70Woman
44 weeks ago

Ayrshire

Crikey

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
44 weeks ago

Horsham

Yesterday.

A prick in an audi, wanted to use the road as a race track. He came flying up the arse of the car, flashing his lights.

I let him try and undertake me, and kept him there till he had no choice to pull in behind me. Then drove at the posted speed limit, until I got bored of him.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
44 weeks ago

Horsham

"Driving home today. I was stuck in traffic and thought if I smacked my steering wheel and screamed in frustration as loud as I could no one would hear it.

My sister did that to an idiot driver who was intimidating her, the driver nearly lost control of his car when he pulled alongside her, as he didn't expect an angry woman to be screaming at him and swerved the car.

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
44 weeks ago

somewhere

Never. Calm. Cool and collected

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

"Road rage. I was driving in poor visibility, the guy behind took offence and was flashing his lights as he was tailgating me, backing off before accelerating up to my bumper again

Not a lot angers me but Men acting aggressively to Women is a big trigger.

Well said however

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
44 weeks ago

London

"5 or 6 years ago I took a member of staff through a disciplinary because of his inappropriate behaviour towards a female colleague.

A couple of days later he spent a couple of hours constantly digging at me and pushing my buttons and wouldn't take any instruction I gave him.

I eventually cracked and told him to do his fucking job or leave the building.

He responded by headbutting me and we wrestled for a few minutes before he was dragged away by others.

He immediately played the MH card and went off on the sick while I was suspended for gross misconduct.

Karma was a bitch for him though as I caught him stealing a couple of weeks later and it was captured on CCTV and he was sacked. "

What does MH mean ?

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By *ealitybitesMan
44 weeks ago

Belfast

"5 or 6 years ago I took a member of staff through a disciplinary because of his inappropriate behaviour towards a female colleague.

A couple of days later he spent a couple of hours constantly digging at me and pushing my buttons and wouldn't take any instruction I gave him.

I eventually cracked and told him to do his fucking job or leave the building.

He responded by headbutting me and we wrestled for a few minutes before he was dragged away by others.

He immediately played the MH card and went off on the sick while I was suspended for gross misconduct.

Karma was a bitch for him though as I caught him stealing a couple of weeks later and it was captured on CCTV and he was sacked.

What does MH mean ?

Mental Health. He was using it as an excuse for his behaviour.

He played for a local football team and was banned from taking part also because of inappropriate comments and actions towards a female physio and when challenged he claimed to be having MH issues.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
44 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

No one can make you angry. If you get angry it is because of you. If you get angry often then you are not coping with the situations you are in.

It's about you. Learn to control your emotions. True -anger is an emotion and there are issues we get angry about but it is how we moderate that anger and then how we express our dissatisfaction with something that shows the degree of our maturity and self control.

He, She or It made me angry and so I did blah blah blah in an angry manner really isn't an acceptable reason beyond late teens / twenties.

Angry reactors are always part of the problem and never a solution

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
44 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"Yesterday.

A prick in an audi, wanted to use the road as a race track. He came flying up the arse of the car, flashing his lights.

I let him try and undertake me, and kept him there till he had no choice to pull in behind me. Then drove at the posted speed limit, until I got bored of him."

Ouch.........not a good look Rachel.

Were you in a middle lane ?

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
44 weeks ago

London

"5 or 6 years ago I took a member of staff through a disciplinary because of his inappropriate behaviour towards a female colleague.

A couple of days later he spent a couple of hours constantly digging at me and pushing my buttons and wouldn't take any instruction I gave him.

I eventually cracked and told him to do his fucking job or leave the building.

He responded by headbutting me and we wrestled for a few minutes before he was dragged away by others.

He immediately played the MH card and went off on the sick while I was suspended for gross misconduct.

Karma was a bitch for him though as I caught him stealing a couple of weeks later and it was captured on CCTV and he was sacked.

What does MH mean ?

Mental Health. He was using it as an excuse for his behaviour.

He played for a local football team and was banned from taking part also because of inappropriate comments and actions towards a female physio and when challenged he claimed to be having MH issues. "

Ah I see !

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By *omRachCouple
44 weeks ago

Wirral

Lost my shit the other day having email tennis with a certain airline who likes the colour orange and their desire NOT to allow me to use a credit note that they gave me towards a flight later this year.

I've only just got started with these pricks

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
44 weeks ago

London

"No one can make you angry. If you get angry it is because of you. If you get angry often then you are not coping with the situations you are in.

He, She or It made me angry and so I did blah blah blah in an angry manner really isn't an acceptable reason beyond late teens / twenties.

Angry reactors are always part of the problem and never a solution"

True but sometimes it’s good to show your angry. Sometimes you can’t let people get away with things.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
44 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

When something makes you angry , it doesn't follow that you are in the right. It doesn't follow that if you shout loud or wave your arms about and the other person backed down that you have 'won' - they may decide to deal with your anger in an adult manner. You will lose.

(im not talking about you personally)

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 03/02/24 07:21:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

What angers me is the AUTISM DEFENCE now being bandied about as an excuse for the most appalling crimes!

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
44 weeks ago

London

"What angers me is the AUTISM DEFENCE now being bandied about as an excuse for the most appalling crimes!"

Agreed. We’re too soft on crime!!

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
44 weeks ago

London

"When something makes you angry , it doesn't follow that you are in the right. It doesn't follow that if you shout loud or wave your arms about and the other person backed down that you have 'won' - they may decide to deal with your anger in an adult manner. You will lose.

(im not talking about you personally)"

You speak very wisely. My point is if someone keeps bugging you and you ask them politely several times to stop, there’s comes a time when they need to told in a different way so they understand.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
44 weeks ago

Leeds

It's very rare I completely loose my temper but a few days ago.

Mrs

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By *obilebottomMan
44 weeks ago

All over

"Road rage.

Not a lot angers me but Men acting aggressively to Women is a big trigger.

Anyone, whether a man or woman acting in that way is appalling as there also some agressive women around. Twice I found myself in that situation and for similar reason. Basically not driving fast enough for them on a 30mph zone. Expecting you to break legal limits and put yourself and others at risk. I usually react by just ignoring them or let them pass if safe to do so. There are far more aggressive people around these days than ever before. No excuse at all but perhaps the stresses of modern life, you sort of see the aggression written on their faces, almost ready to pounce. Too much bravado and testosterone flying all over the place. Quite sad really.

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By *imber wolfMan
44 weeks ago

Aycliffe

Can’t remember the last time I actually lost my rag but I do shout at bad drivers.

I’m generally very laid back

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

Probably, shamefully, about 4 years ago in an argument, and someone was being very disrespectful to my fiancé.

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By *archelCouple
44 weeks ago

A field somewhere

Yesterday a guy deliberately threw a stone at my car windscreen which hit the side my 12 year old was sat at. I promptly spun car round and went after him...I ripped him 4 new arseholes. He couldn't apologise enough, the rage was strong.

Mrs

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By *eamus1956Man
44 weeks ago

Dagenham

Don't know if you'd call it losing your temper, but i have no patients, so continually getting annoyed with myself over silly things.

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By *amie HantsWoman
44 weeks ago

Atlantis

"Driving home today. I was stuck in traffic and thought if I smacked my steering wheel and screamed in frustration as loud as I could no one would hear it.

Jesus. That sounds terrible. I was just screaming in frustration we were standstill not at another road user

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By *heArrowsCouple
44 weeks ago

For most of my life I had anger issues. I was super mild 99.9% of the time but when I would lose control, I would black out.

During therapy I decided to go to an anger management course and it was life changing. I still get angry but it's normal now.

For me, learning my triggers was important and learning to express my frustrations before they became anger was also vital.

To use the car examples that a lot of people are using here, for me it's important to take away the frustration element. If I need to be somewhere, I leave even earlier so bad drivers or bad conditions don't worry or frustrate me. In my head I have done everything possible to not be late, so it's not my fault, and out of my control if I am late.

Obviously this isnt always possible but it's just an example. Know your triggers and try to remove them is what works for me.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
44 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"No one can make you angry. If you get angry it is because of you. If you get angry often then you are not coping with the situations you are in.

He, She or It made me angry and so I did blah blah blah in an angry manner really isn't an acceptable reason beyond late teens / twenties.

Angry reactors are always part of the problem and never a solution"

I partially agree with this statement.

There are times though when people do not appreciate how their behaviour has impacted on others, this can lead to repeat of this behaviour, adult conversation and discussion surrounding the impact of their behaviour can fall on deaf ears, it could be through genuine lack of understanding, or just plain ignorance, if the latter, there comes a point where a ‘controlled explosion’ can work well.

And as my therapist says, “It’s good to get these things of your chest” , but I still have no idea why she felt it was appropriate to remove her bra during a consultation.

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
44 weeks ago

Worcester

I don't remember a time when I lost my temper as an adult.

Losing your temper is a sign of poor emotional regulation. Having been with a man who lost his temper and had poor emotional regulation, that is simply not welcome in my life anymore amongst friends or intimate partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

"What angers me is the AUTISM DEFENCE now being bandied about as an excuse for the most appalling crimes!"

What's the autism defence?

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By *stbury DavenportMan
44 weeks ago

Nottingham

"When’s the last time you lost your temper and what did you do ? Just lost it at work with someone’s shitty email.

And breathe !!!"

1993.

Taught a particularly nasty kid at my new school to leave me the fuck alone.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
44 weeks ago

chichester

"What angers me is the AUTISM DEFENCE now being bandied about as an excuse for the most appalling crimes!

What's the autism defence? "

Where some people use autism as an excuse for being a dickhead / agressive behaviour etc. . One of my close friends does this and admits to using his autism as a way of getting things or out of things. I tell him the day someone knocks you out I’ll laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

"What angers me is the AUTISM DEFENCE now being bandied about as an excuse for the most appalling crimes!

What's the autism defence?

Oh I see. Yeah that's a bit daft. Autism doesn't make people violent. Although their reactions can sometimes antagonise people, I think, because hard to interpret.

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By *TG3Man
44 weeks ago

Dorchester

I never lose my temper its a waste of energy

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By *uri00620Woman
44 weeks ago

Croydon

When I was 15. I told my stepmother she shouldn't be selling my dead dad (dead less than a month's) stuff and painting the house.

My younger brother and I were homeless the next day with our bags packed on the doorstep when we came home from school.

That's the last time. I'm very laid back. Too much so I think.

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By *ittle. BeaverWoman
44 weeks ago

Launceston

"No one can make you angry. If you get angry it is because of you. If you get angry often then you are not coping with the situations you are in.

He, She or It made me angry and so I did blah blah blah in an angry manner really isn't an acceptable reason beyond late teens / twenties.

Angry reactors are always part of the problem and never a solution"

While I agree with you Granny, I think its a bit of a simplistic view point! There can be triggers behind certain scenarios that mean we struggle to mange our emotional responses. It can be helpful to work through those triggers, so we are less 'hit' by everyday stuff! Just trying to tell yourself to 'calm down' isn't always enough! Especially if it's a nervous system (fight/flight) response.

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By *2000ManMan
44 weeks ago

Worthing

I have to pay postage as sender did not pay enough. It's an important computer part which I've been waiting for. I could crush a grape!

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
44 weeks ago

London

"No one can make you angry. If you get angry it is because of you. If you get angry often then you are not coping with the situations you are in.

He, She or It made me angry and so I did blah blah blah in an angry manner really isn't an acceptable reason beyond late teens / twenties.

Angry reactors are always part of the problem and never a solution

I partially agree with this statement.

And as my therapist says, “It’s good to get these things of your chest” , but I still have no idea why she felt it was appropriate to remove her bra during a consultation.

Hilarious

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By *ealitybitesMan
44 weeks ago

Belfast

I don't agree that anger is always a failure to control emotion and therefore a weakness.

I've been told I'm the most patient person many have met and that I must have the patience of a saint.

I don't lose my temper often and if I do it's only as a result of sustained aggression and/or verbal abuse from someone else.

In the case I outlined above it took 2-3 hrs of a continuous barrage from the other party.

It wasn't subtle. He was shouting at the top of his voice about how he was being picked on and victimised because he was a foreign national.

It was a relentless diatribe and I had to raise my voice to stop him being the loudest person in the room.

I couldn't walk away because I was being paid to supervise the work being done.

I wasn't angry even at that point because he was only making himself look unhinged but when he made it personal and started calling me racist and a lazy Irish cunt, that was when I told him to shut the fuck up and do his job.

His immediate response was to headbutt me as soon as I looked away and that was what triggered my anger.

It was fight or flight and my subsequent actions were to defend myself.

There was no other option apart from standing there like a useless tool and let him keep punching me.

It was an immediate reaction to a violent situation and certainly not a failure to control emotion.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
44 weeks ago

ashford

Rarely get angry ! Can't remember last time! Maybe something breaking? Usually the vacuum or washing machine x

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By *olly MistlehoeWoman
44 weeks ago

Somewhere

Yesterday... Had a minor meltdown in office. Wasn't directed at anyone else, aside from being furious at myself for forgetting to do something. It'd been a very long week. Also very unlike me!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
44 weeks ago

Reading

I dont remember. a long time ago.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
44 weeks ago

chichester

"I don't agree that anger is always a failure to control emotion and therefore a weakness.