FabSwingers.com forum: Why are people choosing a pet over parenthood?

By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

I was reading and interesting article about it and it mentioned of how a growing number of people tend to regard their pets as their surrogate children.

I also looked at a servey about it and in there it said that 67% of surveys respondent ages was 18 to 26 said that they chose getting a dog instead of having a child and 74% of people surveyed would choose a pet over parenthood say cost was a major factor and there was a 3rd option too and that was how nearly 50% would consider their dog when making a career.

Why do you think that the percentages are so high today and also, why do you think that they regard their pets as children, do you have a pet and how do you consider it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bringing a child into this shit show, especially when it costs so much you can’t give then everything they need. Children just don’t seem like a good idea

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I have 3 dogs and 2 kids.

The dogs are cheaper. Nobody tells you how many pairs of shoes kids go through in a year!!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If I was in my early 20s now I wouldn't have kids. Who would want to bring kids into this world?. I have two cats and I adore them

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Because the costs of bringing a child up far outweigh the perceived benefits of such.

Most children are born into a household that can't provide the emotional or financial support a human requires to thrive.

Dogs are cuter, less susceptible to the nihilism and resentment, won't grow up to be disappointments or with the weight of unrealistic parental expectations, and are much easier to work around a career without destroying my body.

I don't think of my dog as a surrogate child. She's just a cute mutt. And something I'd much rather have in my life than a child

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By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago

Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston

My children are grown up. I’ve always had some kind of pet. Now have 2 rescue dogs who are wonderful companions. They adore each other too. Funny thing is I got them thinking I’d have empty nest syndrome but my kids keep boomeranging back home plus partners.

OP - they asked 18-26 year olds , still plenty of time to change their mind and have children. I thought the initial age to have children was on average a lot later than it used to be.

Red

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Perhaps it’s not a choice they have had to take OP more one that wasn’t ever an option?

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

My Daughter in Law can't have biological Children, but her and my son do have pets and pets suit their lifestyle, a Child would not

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By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell

The way we have let this world go, how can you even ask why people wouldnt want to bring children into it.

Constant war, corruption, poverty, pollution, increasing costs, etc etc we have really let this place go.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I have both

In answer to the question I’m sure there are lots of reasons. I’m happy I did. Always wanted children. I don’t think it will be too long now before grandchildren

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By *hrimper36Couple
over a year ago

Central France dept 36

Just wondering put do you have a pet shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days

They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave

With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days

They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave

With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone "

That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because the costs of bringing a child up far outweigh the perceived benefits of such.

Most children are born into a household that can't provide the emotional or financial support a human requires to thrive.

What do you base this on, out of interest?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days

They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave

With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone

That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what. "

But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?

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By *erdyCurvyInkedPervyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

"I have 3 dogs and 2 kids.

The dogs are cheaper. Nobody tells you how many pairs of shoes kids go through in a year!!

This!! Youngest daughter is already on her second pair of school shoes since September!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Climate change init

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days

They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave

With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone

That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.

But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him? "

That’s what I was thinking

I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 15/01/24 08:17:12]

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days

They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave

With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone

That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.

But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him? "

I’m sure people do but he said unless you’re willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone. Never crossed my mind. Maybe it does cross other peoples minds. I don’t know

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I love my dogs , give me dogs before kids everyday.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"Bringing a child into this shit show, especially when it costs so much you can’t give then everything they need. Children just don’t seem like a good idea "
Yes. I also think it is about the cost too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days

They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave

With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone

That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.

But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?

That’s what I was thinking

I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now "

I didn't rush into having kids, and I wouldn't have had multiple kids if I'd known I'd end up doing all the parenting. I still think that having kids has added so much more to my life than I can calculate.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"Just wondering put do you have a pet shag.

T"
No. I dont have a pet, do you?

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days

They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave

With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone

That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.

But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?

That’s what I was thinking

I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now "

Co parenting or the lads just disappeared?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days

They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave

With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone

That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.

But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?

That’s what I was thinking

I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now

Co parenting or the lads just disappeared?"

Not something I’ve dived into with them so probably a bit of both, can’t say for sure though. Although for the most part, no one we know mutually knows who the dad is so I can only assume they aren’t in the picture

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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

We live in a time where it’s hard for one parent to stay at home to care for their children. Mums on maternity leave are rushed back to work when they have barely had time to pour their time and love into kids. Never mind if they need time to recover from any related health issues. Dads get two weeks (somewhat fair enough if you go off traditional gender roles) but how can they support their partner effectively. People have to earn money to send their babies to someone else to look after, for hundreds of pounds a month.

Then you have social media flooded with “live your best life”, and telling parents they’re not enough, it’s relentless. I know these things existed before but now for people who do not have time away from social media, it’s just constant.

I mean thats just one or two thoughts. It’s a much bigger systemic discussion really.

I do hate it though when people say “I don’t have a child but I do have a (insert pet animal)”. Pleaseeeeeeee do not compare this it’s nowhere near the same.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

The problem with pets is their short lifespan. My sister just lost her dog and is devastated.

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days

They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave

With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone

That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.

But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?

That’s what I was thinking

I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now

Co parenting or the lads just disappeared?

I guarantee the lad who can fart on demand, has something to with all of this

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Worcester

I think the percentages are much higher today because of the first time women actually have both education and choice.

Young women are more educated than ever about what kind of a life they can have, and they have the ability to make choices to have the kind of lifestyle they want.

Even twenty years ago it was very much taught that a woman's proper role in society was to have a family, that it was completely normal to sacrifice your career, and that men being shit was just something you should accept in your relationships.

These days young women have learned that they don't have to perform the role of caregiver, that they don't have to birth a child to be valid, that they don't have to sacrifice parts of their life that they don't want to, and that they don't have to accept men being shit in relationships.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days

They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave

With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone

That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.

But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?

That’s what I was thinking

I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now

Co parenting or the lads just disappeared?

I guarantee the lad who can fart on demand, has something to with all of this"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days

They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave

With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone

That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.

But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?

That’s what I was thinking

I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now

Co parenting or the lads just disappeared?

I guarantee the lad who can fart on demand, has something to with all of this"

To be fair, he’s got a beautiful wife, 2 happy kids, and a great barber shop.

Weirdly enough, all the great guys that I know that would make great dads, aren’t dads, for many of the reasons in this thread

All the biggest pieces of shit I know have kids they don’t see, some of them multiple kids to different mums

Weird

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By *ightNWet69Woman
over a year ago

dark side of the moon

With hindsight id have chosen pets over kids simply because the world is an awful place & the future generations don't have much to look forward to

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's easier.

The biological drive to have children still exists but people are able to choose now.

I worry for my children and support their choice to not have any of their own as much as I'd love grandchildren.

I don't like the anthropormorphism of animals though.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Cos cats are funny, friendly, awesome creatures and great company.

Children are expensive, noisy, germ filled snot bags that people seem to want to report you to the police for, when you leave them in the porch all day with a plate of meat and a door flap so they can go outside to crap on the neighbours garden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel like having children wasn't really a choice years ago. I think it was just what a woman was expected to do. I think now, women are more aware of themselves and the responsibility that comes with having a child. Parenting is ugly a lot of the time. And I think people are pretty wise now knowing the toll it takes on you as a woman. And the way your life will never be the same. If you've not got a village, your life is turned upside down. And not to mention the cost of living because having a baby is ridiculously expensive.

I've had pets all my life and they are so much easier than children. And they really do become a part of your family I don't see an issue with someone loving their dog as much as I love my child. But they are so different I don’t think you can compare the two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anthropomorphism. Does my head in.

Lol

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

Who knows. I might have a human child or several, out there in the world. There are a few years in the past that are a giant blackout.

I no longer have pets. I made one cat into slippers this morning after he woke me up at stupid o’clock. The other will make a nice pair of gloves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has a bloody dog or 5 cats!! Wtf?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I told my parents, I love your grandchildren more than to bring them into this mess.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I've never met a dog that I haven't liked. I can't say the same for kids

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"Everyone has a bloody dog or 5 cats!! Wtf?

No, I have slippers and gloves

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"I've never met a dog that I haven't liked. I can't say the same for kids

Omg, same.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I've known I didn't want kids from a young age.

I love most animals and like having my pets to come home to & snuggle with.

They're not surrogate children as I never wanted the whole kid thing, I just love having them around and they are so loving and amusing at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both never wanted kids, both knew from a very early age.

Both animal lovers so it just made sense.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I costs me about £500 a month for the dog, vet bills, insurance, food, day care, pet sitter is extra.

I have to say seeing how my nephew is turning into a prize little shit, I would go for a dog over him anyday.

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By *pandjMan
over a year ago

Sparkford

Had 3 dogs between my ex and current partner. 2 are around 10 years old and once they are gone that's it. Felt like they limit your life more than anyone cares to admit compared to my son who I can enjoy more things with as he's an actual human who is also allowed more places.

Plus pet insurance is eye watering once theyve got to a certain age and had a few illnesses that the insurance companies try to get out of. With the first dog I had was a grim but practical decision to spend 7k treatment that may not have worked or had him PTS. That would've fucked me financially so the hard option it was and I will likely have to mull that over another two times.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

I really dont understand it myself they only live for 15 years, you go to 4 funerals for your pets

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I have both

In answer to the question I’m sure there are lots of reasons. I’m happy I did. Always wanted children. I don’t think it will be too long now before grandchildren

"
That is good that you have both too and yes, soon grandchildren as well

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By *oppleWangerMan
over a year ago

Gods Country

Its simple really when you break it all down -

Kids (or people in general) are assholes,

Dogs aren’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its simple really when you break it all down -

Kids (or people in general) are assholes,

Dogs aren’t."

My kids are

Don't know what you're talking about mate.

My dog is an asshole to be fair

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Never had any desire to have kids and neither does my partner.

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales

"I was reading and interesting article about it and it mentioned of how a growing number of people tend to regard their pets as their surrogate children.

Why do you think that the percentages are so high today and also, why do you think that they regard their pets as children, do you have a pet and how do you consider it?

Have a family member that didn’t have a choice re: having children, so their pets are very much the surrogate family that couldn’t be had. They don’t understand why people would not choose pets

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By *nowman1300Man
over a year ago

manchester

My kids are grown up now and I can fill my house with cats. Until I move to spain

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I have 3 dogs and 2 kids.

The dogs are cheaper. Nobody tells you how many pairs of shoes kids go through in a year!!

"
That is good and yes, you are right there, dogs would be cheaper as well

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By *eddfmyd11Man
over a year ago

Towcester

Don't have kids or pets and don't intend to have either, but when I did have pets I had a full coral reef aquarium.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As everyone else has mentioned, it's most probably down to the cost of living and how much time is spent within that earning enough to pay for everything needed/necessary to live as happy a life as you can as a single or couple. I'd love to raise a little family of my own some day, but need to find a way to overcome the current and relative challenges that make doing that difficult.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never wanted to have children - didn't feel the need to replicate my shitty genes. I have cats.. They bring me joy.. And keep me warm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 2 brothers (10 and 14 years younger) and a sister (11 years younger). All 3 of them, I’ve changed their nappies, walked them to and from school, had the sleepless nights, helped with home work, etc. They alone were enough to put me off having my own kids. Instead I volunteer and then I get to go back home and have peace and quiet.

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By *londebiguyMan
over a year ago

Southport

"I was reading and interesting article about it and it mentioned of how a growing number of people tend to regard their pets as their surrogate children.

Why do you think that the percentages are so high today and also, why do you think that they regard their pets as children, do you have a pet and how do you consider it?

I like kids.

Pets are just better though.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"If I was in my early 20s now I wouldn't have kids. Who would want to bring kids into this world?. I have two cats and I adore them"
Hi diamondsmiles, yes, you are right there, age comes into play too, that is good that you adore them as well

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By *arlot o scaraWoman
over a year ago

Hell

Because I didn’t have to push any of my pets out through my vagina. That’s why.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Not interested in either kids or pets and at my age, neither are going to happen.

We've both grown very accustomed to not having the responsibility. Hats off to those who do. But not for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have 2 brothers (10 and 14 years younger) and a sister (11 years younger). All 3 of them, I’ve changed their nappies, walked them to and from school, had the sleepless nights, helped with home work, etc. They alone were enough to put me off having my own kids. Instead I volunteer and then I get to go back home and have peace and quiet. "

I had a similar experience but with neices and nephews. I saw the reality vs the happy families lie we're sold. I also never had any maternal urges or instincts, those babies were never exciting cute dolls to play with for me.

Pass me a kitten, dog or bunny however and my heart fills with joy at their fluffy cuteness.

Pets are cute, babies are gross, stinky, noisy poop machines and I've never wanted any.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I love kids, I have 3 would have liked many more, it may still happen. Never been keen on animals in houses although cats are quite interesting.

One reason with young people is the therapy it provides is very very beneficial and a lot of young people in the uk do have mental health issues - so are probably unsuitable for the responsibilities, hard work and sacrifices if parenting.

In other cultures they are still hanging out lots of kids, even in the uk I think the natives are the only ones stopping

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

A pet will last a maximum of half the time it takes to get rid of your children from the family home

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By *tevo1999Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

It is more common now days for people splitting up so when the is doubts an the baby conversation comes up next best thing is a dog and years ago woman weren't expected to go to work like they do now they were stay at home look after the kids but not case no more

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By *rucking-HellMan
over a year ago

Northampton

"I told my parents, I love your grandchildren more than to bring them into this mess."

Precisely. when people ask me why I don't have children, I reply: because I love them too much.

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By *etsgoexploring3Man
over a year ago

Teesside

What put me off having children was when my father asked me if my wife and I were going to have any, and when I replied I don’t know he said you will need somebody to look after you when you are older. I never wanted anybody to feel they should be put in that position. If that was my only purpose, then gee thanks Dad!

As an only child, and now single after my wife passed away, you can probably guess pressure that puts me under now with two parents still around.

Plus I wouldn’t have wanted to have teenagers as bad as me!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I have both! And love them all they are all my children! X

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 16/01/24 10:41:08]

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I was reading and interesting article about it and it mentioned of how a growing number of people tend to regard their pets as their surrogate children.

Why do you think that the percentages are so high today and also, why do you think that they regard their pets as children, do you have a pet and how do you consider it?

Have a family member that didn’t have a choice re: having children, so their pets are very much the surrogate family that couldn’t be had. They don’t understand why people would not choose pets

"
Yes. I see, so they didnt have a choice about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are people banging on about bringing kids into 'this mess'?

It's literally the easiest time to be alive in all of history. Some folks are determined to see the worst I suppose.

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

When we had a cat we could fill the automatic feeder and go away for the weekend. If we'd done that with the kids then I don't think Social Services would have been too impressed

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"It's easier.

The biological drive to have children still exists but people are able to choose now.

I worry for my children and support their choice to not have any of their own as much as I'd love grandchildren.

I don't like the anthropormorphism of animals though.

"
Yes, you are right there too, it is easier as well and yes. I can see your worry there for them. I havent heard the word anthropormorphism before, so I looked it up and I agree with that definition of it

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By *xhibitionisticvoyeurMan
over a year ago

Wrexham

Simple answer: Time, money and security.

Firstly meeting a partner is less likely now because, People are skint so dont go out as much. they work long hours, you're not supposed to flirt in the workplace any more (literally saw this in one companies policy document)so your chances of meeting a partner are lower than they once were.

Jobs are no longer as secure as they used to be so there is less sense of long term security.

Pay is low compared to the cost of living, a lot of people can't afford savings now. (Also just take a moment to appreciate the horror of the phrase "cost of living". It's literally becoming too expensive to just stay alive, wtf?!)

More people in the childbaring age group (20-35 ish) rent and have insecure tenancies.

Working 9 to 5 and taking kids to school is literally impossible unless you pay for breakfast club and after school club or childcare.

Which could cost around 150 quid per child per week (good luck if you have twins! Which is incidentally becoming more likely due to women having kids at an older age on average and dropping double yolkers)

So to sum it up, low income, precarious employment, long hours, insecure short term housing and a high cost of childcare means the maths just doesn't work out.

A pet is less of a burden. They need less of your time and money and its a relatively short term commitment at around 12 years; and ultimately you can give it away if its too much without the social stigma and psychological trauma of doing the same with your child.

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

Pets are cuter, cheaper and not as high maintenance.

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