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"When you leave a social setting do you say goodbye to people or quietly sift? I got overwhelmed out earlier and quietly and invisibly disappeared and came home and have had some messages saying that’s unacceptable - is it?" Some people prefer an Irish exit. Saying goodbye to everyone can end up taking an hour. I usually say bye to a few people I like and skedaddle | |||
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"I say goodbye to everyone if its a small group. If its a large group I say goodbye to the people I've spent the most time with. I don't think its great to leave without saying goodbye to anyone." This is me too. I find it hard not to say goodbye to anyone. When I was growing up, my Mum wouldn't let us leave a family party until we'd walked round and kissed everyone goodbye. It often took us a long time to leave! | |||
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"When you leave a social setting do you say goodbye to people or quietly sift? I got overwhelmed out earlier and quietly and invisibly disappeared and came home and have had some messages saying that’s unacceptable - is it?" Unacceptable is a bit harsh, I tend to slope off first and don’t want it to be the indicator for others to leave, but I usually let at least one person know I’m going x | |||
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"When you leave a social setting do you say goodbye to people or quietly sift? I got overwhelmed out earlier and quietly and invisibly disappeared and came home and have had some messages saying that’s unacceptable - is it?" If you were overwhelmed then of course it's ok to leave quietly. If you were feeling sick would you be expected to say goodbye to everyone before running off to vomit? How are you feeling now? Any better now you are home? Xx | |||
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"When you leave a social setting do you say goodbye to people or quietly sift? I got overwhelmed out earlier and quietly and invisibly disappeared and came home and have had some messages saying that’s unacceptable - is it?" If you were overwhelmed I can understand why you would make a quiet exit. However, it is good to let one person know (a friend if one is out with you) that you are leaving so they know what time you left. I'm just looking at it from a safety perspective. Hope you are okay. | |||
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"When you leave a social setting do you say goodbye to people or quietly sift? I got overwhelmed out earlier and quietly and invisibly disappeared and came home and have had some messages saying that’s unacceptable - is it?" Nope, it's self preservation, you have to do what is right for you in that moment and you have to prioritise your own needs over what they perceive to be social propierty, real friends should understand that if they understood you. You shouldn't have to feel you need to conform regardless of who you are with | |||
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"If you've been invited as a guest and slip away it would be rude since you've been invited with not even a thank you " Bollox. Because that means the guest's presence is "conditional" on appeasing another's own sense of propriety. Or ego. But the guest may not share those values nor wish to be beholden to them. they may not even be aware the offer was "conditional". A perfect host should have no expectations. They should be gracious in accepting thanks for those who wish to give it, but not resentful for those who do not. That is unkind at the very least. A perfect host should not expect thanks. | |||
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"What you did is known as an Irish goodbye I can understand why you sneaked away without telling anyone....Cos sometimes when we do say we're leaving it creates way too much attention & people insisting we stay etc.... We I do this....I normally just tell 1 or 2 people so they can tell the group where I am when they start to wonder where I've gone to " *When | |||
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"When you leave a social setting do you say goodbye to people or quietly sift? I got overwhelmed out earlier and quietly and invisibly disappeared and came home and have had some messages saying that’s unacceptable - is it?" If you're with friends just say by to them so they know you've left | |||
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"I always greet the circle and say my good bye it would be rude not to " This, I’d feel rude not saying goodbye | |||
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"Matter of opinion really? I worked the pro-wrestling circuit for years and were respect is important. Shake everyone's hand and introduce yourself when you arrive before the show. A handshake and goodbye is always expected on the way out. Doesn't matter if its the promoter, the wrestlers, the ref or the back stage hands. Everyone gets treated the same. This followed me into social events as well. But it's not the same thing so if I'm not feeling it I will say a few byes to let people know I've left. If its a work do, I have one drink then say I'm popping to the toilet and don't come back. I hate work dos!" Is shaking hands respect ? Seems like ceremony to me. | |||
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"Sorry just re-read and you felt overwhelmed? Well you may have had anxiety which is understandable." This. You need at least someone in your group who understands and you can just tap on the arm, wave to, and slip out - and everyone knows you’re ok, you’ve just had enough. I’m assuming any criticism came from concerns for your welfare. But I also assume you don’t want a fuss when you’ve had enough. | |||
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"Matter of opinion really? I worked the pro-wrestling circuit for years and were respect is important. Shake everyone's hand and introduce yourself when you arrive before the show. A handshake and goodbye is always expected on the way out. Doesn't matter if its the promoter, the wrestlers, the ref or the back stage hands. Everyone gets treated the same. This followed me into social events as well. But it's not the same thing so if I'm not feeling it I will say a few byes to let people know I've left. If its a work do, I have one drink then say I'm popping to the toilet and don't come back. I hate work dos! Is shaking hands respect ? Seems like ceremony to me. " Pretty much, also has to be a loose handshake, never use a firm one | |||
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"Matter of opinion really? I worked the pro-wrestling circuit for years and were respect is important. Shake everyone's hand and introduce yourself when you arrive before the show. A handshake and goodbye is always expected on the way out. Doesn't matter if its the promoter, the wrestlers, the ref or the back stage hands. Everyone gets treated the same. This followed me into social events as well. But it's not the same thing so if I'm not feeling it I will say a few byes to let people know I've left. If its a work do, I have one drink then say I'm popping to the toilet and don't come back. I hate work dos! Is shaking hands respect ? Seems like ceremony to me. Pretty much, also has to be a loose handshake, never use a firm one " Like I say ...... ceremony. | |||
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"I just salute the room and leave usually" Do you go vertically or horizontally ? I mean ...... has your cape ever got caught on the door knob ? | |||
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"Matter of opinion really? I worked the pro-wrestling circuit for years and were respect is important. Shake everyone's hand and introduce yourself when you arrive before the show. A handshake and goodbye is always expected on the way out. Doesn't matter if its the promoter, the wrestlers, the ref or the back stage hands. Everyone gets treated the same. This followed me into social events as well. But it's not the same thing so if I'm not feeling it I will say a few byes to let people know I've left. If its a work do, I have one drink then say I'm popping to the toilet and don't come back. I hate work dos! Is shaking hands respect ? Seems like ceremony to me. Pretty much, also has to be a loose handshake, never use a firm one Like I say ...... ceremony. " Like I agreed ?? | |||
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"No it is not wrong. Don't forget that other people's constructs of social etiquette may not be yours. BUT You could have sent a text once you'd managed to leave or even left word with one person .... Before there were phones we could leave without goodbyes but would be courteous of the feelings of others and leave a written note. It settles their minds and eases situations for everyone. " I can't type it better but my thoughts are similar. I've done it myself before and I know the need to escape there and now, being too focused on one's own spiralling energy to consider others. However, the aftermath isn't exactly proving the strategy right for me. It's not easy on other people and can mess up their night, worry them. As much as i need to protect myself and my feelings, I also have learnt that i can and should make the same effort to protect others feelings, especially if they matter. I wouldn't say it was unacceptable because I don't know all the circumstances, but in the future I'd devise a different exit plan for myself. One safety person who can then relay it to others ? Or a text to a group chat you are part of? Don't worry, all is fine but I had to leave urgently. Talk tomorrow. Those who matter will understand. But probably won't stop worrying, cause they care T | |||
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"Matter of opinion really? I worked the pro-wrestling circuit for years and were respect is important. Shake everyone's hand and introduce yourself when you arrive before the show. A handshake and goodbye is always expected on the way out. Doesn't matter if its the promoter, the wrestlers, the ref or the back stage hands. Everyone gets treated the same. This followed me into social events as well. But it's not the same thing so if I'm not feeling it I will say a few byes to let people know I've left. If its a work do, I have one drink then say I'm popping to the toilet and don't come back. I hate work dos! Is shaking hands respect ? Seems like ceremony to me. Pretty much, also has to be a loose handshake, never use a firm one Like I say ...... ceremony. Like I agreed ?? " That wasn't clear. I took it that you were agreeing to my question not the statement. | |||
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"Matter of opinion really? I worked the pro-wrestling circuit for years and were respect is important. Shake everyone's hand and introduce yourself when you arrive before the show. A handshake and goodbye is always expected on the way out. Doesn't matter if its the promoter, the wrestlers, the ref or the back stage hands. Everyone gets treated the same. This followed me into social events as well. But it's not the same thing so if I'm not feeling it I will say a few byes to let people know I've left. If its a work do, I have one drink then say I'm popping to the toilet and don't come back. I hate work dos! Is shaking hands respect ? Seems like ceremony to me. Pretty much, also has to be a loose handshake, never use a firm one Like I say ...... ceremony. Like I agreed ?? That wasn't clear. I took it that you were agreeing to my question not the statement. " Yeah fair enough but yes it is a big deal and frowned upon if you don't. Leaving after your match and not when the show is finished is also frowned upon. Ok that's enough I still try and keep some kayfabe | |||
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"In France, leaving without saying goodbye is known as, 'leaving the English way.' We must have a reputation for it." Funny. My friends call it a "French exit" | |||
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"I (M) am introverted so familiar with getting stimulation burnout in busy social situations. The process of leaving then seems like a daunting task as it's basically a series of awkward interactions. She (F) can take what feels like days to leave a party. She's very bubbly and extroverted so each goodbye can turn into a whole new conversation and if she's had a few she easily forgets I'm standing there waiting to insincerely hug someone or whatever. I say self-care is the most important. If you're at a gathering where it's possible to slip away unnoticed, do it. If it's a private party I'd thank the hosts, but frankly bollocks to anyone who gets offended you didn't prioritise their social preferences over your psychological wellbeing." Can relate to this absolutely from when married. | |||
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