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An actual real life guy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago

Gave me his number! I mean, this hasn't happened since the summer of '96 and I'm a little unsure what to do.

He's seen my face before he's seen my boobs! Is this normal??

My first reaction when he suggested we go for a coffee was to book a hotel, this is brand new territory for me.

I know nothing about him, I've never seen him describe how he loves going down on a woman, I don't know his fav position, if he's ever come from a blow job, and most importantly, is his penis even pretty!?!?!!

I'm flummoxed.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Lol

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By *odevilWoman
52 weeks ago

exeter

I mean how do you know if he'll stay down there for hours?!

What if his penis bends the wrong way?

Seems highly suspicious to me.

Bin.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
52 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Send him a questionnaire

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By *eyond PurityCouple
52 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Did you write a veri on a piece of paper instead of your number?

K

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"I mean how do you know if he'll stay down there for hours?!

What if his penis bends the wrong way?

Seems highly suspicious to me.

Bin. "

He's not even sent me a dick pic.

Obviously a fake.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
52 weeks ago

Wherever

Oh. I’m flummoxed too.

But in my defence, I’ve been drinking rum tonight. A lot of it.

Go for it though!

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Closet axe murderer

...sorry, that was uncharitable

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
52 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

I swear it's actually easier to meet men in real life than it is on here.

... And it's much more exhilarating to get chatted up in real life by a human, as opposed to being lewdly propositioned by a box of text adjacent to an image of a greyscale penis

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By *ellhungvweMan
52 weeks ago

Cheltenham

Block him OP. He is clearly a wrongun!

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
52 weeks ago

Somewhere else


"I mean how do you know if he'll stay down there for hours?!

What if his penis bends the wrong way?

Seems highly suspicious to me.

Bin.

He's not even sent me a dick pic.

Obviously a fake."

Did you request said dick pic?

Maybe he has *gasp* manners.

But don’t be too concerned about these.

I’m sure in no time you can train him up properly.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
52 weeks ago

Essex

Hang on. I think I know the answer to this….

First crimp your hair, apply roller ball cola flavoured lip gloss. Pizza Hut date….

It may have been a year or 2 since I did this

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By *aitonelMan
52 weeks ago

Travelling

Don't be yourself

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"Send him a questionnaire "

Must also include 5 pictures. At least 2 monochrome.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"Did you write a veri on a piece of paper instead of your number?

K"

Paper! It's done on directly on phones, and also, actual numbers! I'll send him a text.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"Oh. I’m flummoxed too.

But in my defence, I’ve been drinking rum tonight. A lot of it.

Go for it though! "

I approve.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"Closet axe murderer

...sorry, that was uncharitable "

Would be exciting if he was.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Was it Quasimodo?

Esmeralda I love you...

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
52 weeks ago

Wherever


"Oh. I’m flummoxed too.

But in my defence, I’ve been drinking rum tonight. A lot of it.

Go for it though!

I approve. "

I knew you would.

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By *aitonelMan
52 weeks ago

Travelling

You do realise this now ruins everything. You can no longer say guys don't approach you in real life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"You do realise this now ruins everything. You can no longer say guys don't approach you in real life. "

I mean, I kinda smashed into him. Literally. And it was dark, and loud music playing and I think he was momentarily dazed. Or concust.

Plus, once in the last +10 years. I can still say it.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
52 weeks ago

North West


"Hang on. I think I know the answer to this….

First crimp your hair, apply roller ball cola flavoured lip gloss. Pizza Hut date….

It may have been a year or 2 since I did this "

I think this is right. Don't forget the Ice Cream Factory afterwards too - make sure you go back for double helpings!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"Hang on. I think I know the answer to this….

First crimp your hair, apply roller ball cola flavoured lip gloss. Pizza Hut date….

It may have been a year or 2 since I did this "

Have you seen my hair? I don't need to crimp this shit.

I thought it was cherry flavour and a bag of chips in the park?

Times have changed...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"I mean how do you know if he'll stay down there for hours?!

What if his penis bends the wrong way?

Seems highly suspicious to me.

Bin.

He's not even sent me a dick pic.

Obviously a fake.

Did you request said dick pic?

Maybe he has *gasp* manners.

But don’t be too concerned about these.

I’m sure in no time you can train him up properly."

I'm female, he should know I want one.

If I don't get one in the next half hour I'm making a thread and labelling him a time waster.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
52 weeks ago

Essex


"Hang on. I think I know the answer to this….

First crimp your hair, apply roller ball cola flavoured lip gloss. Pizza Hut date….

It may have been a year or 2 since I did this

Have you seen my hair? I don't need to crimp this shit.

I thought it was cherry flavour and a bag of chips in the park?

Times have changed..."

I liked cola . And we had to avoid our park due to crackheads… . Oh nostalgia…

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"I mean how do you know if he'll stay down there for hours?!

What if his penis bends the wrong way?

Seems highly suspicious to me.

Bin.

He's not even sent me a dick pic.

Obviously a fake.

Did you request said dick pic?

Maybe he has *gasp* manners.

But don’t be too concerned about these.

I’m sure in no time you can train him up properly.

I'm female, he should know I want one.

If I don't get one in the next half hour I'm making a thread and labelling him a time waster. "

Send him a photo of your painted nails wrapped around a sky remote, if he doesn't understand the assignment then he be fake unicorn and not very desirable

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"Hang on. I think I know the answer to this….

First crimp your hair, apply roller ball cola flavoured lip gloss. Pizza Hut date….

It may have been a year or 2 since I did this

Have you seen my hair? I don't need to crimp this shit.

I thought it was cherry flavour and a bag of chips in the park?

Times have changed...

I liked cola . And we had to avoid our park due to crackheads… . Oh nostalgia…"

It was the youth on 20/20 back in my day, I may or may not have been one of them...

I'll stick my joggers on, we'll blend in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"I mean how do you know if he'll stay down there for hours?!

What if his penis bends the wrong way?

Seems highly suspicious to me.

Bin.

He's not even sent me a dick pic.

Obviously a fake.

Did you request said dick pic?

Maybe he has *gasp* manners.

But don’t be too concerned about these.

I’m sure in no time you can train him up properly.

I'm female, he should know I want one.

If I don't get one in the next half hour I'm making a thread and labelling him a time waster.

Send him a photo of your painted nails wrapped around a sky remote, if he doesn't understand the assignment then he be fake unicorn and not very desirable "

I have an Alexa remote? But small though, could give the wrong signals.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
52 weeks ago

North West


"I mean how do you know if he'll stay down there for hours?!

What if his penis bends the wrong way?

Seems highly suspicious to me.

Bin.

He's not even sent me a dick pic.

Obviously a fake.

Did you request said dick pic?

Maybe he has *gasp* manners.

But don’t be too concerned about these.

I’m sure in no time you can train him up properly.

I'm female, he should know I want one.

If I don't get one in the next half hour I'm making a thread and labelling him a time waster.

Send him a photo of your painted nails wrapped around a sky remote, if he doesn't understand the assignment then he be fake unicorn and not very desirable

I have an Alexa remote? But small though, could give the wrong signals. "

Do you have a can of Lynx or a Pringles tube (that's for the more ambitious chap).

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By *aitonelMan
52 weeks ago

Travelling

You are clearly in a relationship now. You have to leave fab!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"I mean how do you know if he'll stay down there for hours?!

What if his penis bends the wrong way?

Seems highly suspicious to me.

Bin.

He's not even sent me a dick pic.

Obviously a fake.

Did you request said dick pic?

Maybe he has *gasp* manners.

But don’t be too concerned about these.

I’m sure in no time you can train him up properly.

I'm female, he should know I want one.

If I don't get one in the next half hour I'm making a thread and labelling him a time waster.

Send him a photo of your painted nails wrapped around a sky remote, if he doesn't understand the assignment then he be fake unicorn and not very desirable

I have an Alexa remote? But small though, could give the wrong signals.

Do you have a can of Lynx or a Pringles tube (that's for the more ambitious chap). "

Only the sour cream flavour? Again, mixed signals...

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By *illy IdolMan
52 weeks ago

Midlands

How has he seen your boobs?

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By *illy IdolMan
52 weeks ago

Midlands


"How has he seen your boobs?"

Ignore me,I read that wrong.

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
52 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Fuck around and find out.

Then report back... I want to know what he's like... I can't remember the last time this happened to me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"You are clearly in a relationship now. You have to leave fab! "

Dude please, I've just opened up a whole new fucking pool.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"How has he seen your boobs?

Ignore me,I read that wrong."

Boobs on the brain

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
52 weeks ago

Essex


"Hang on. I think I know the answer to this….

First crimp your hair, apply roller ball cola flavoured lip gloss. Pizza Hut date….

It may have been a year or 2 since I did this

Have you seen my hair? I don't need to crimp this shit.

I thought it was cherry flavour and a bag of chips in the park?

Times have changed...

I liked cola . And we had to avoid our park due to crackheads… . Oh nostalgia…

It was the youth on 20/20 back in my day, I may or may not have been one of them...

I'll stick my joggers on, we'll blend in.

"

Strawberry & kiwi…. Still tasted of meths

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By *illy IdolMan
52 weeks ago

Midlands


"How has he seen your boobs?

Ignore me,I read that wrong.

Boobs on the brain"

Always

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"Fuck around and find out.

Then report back... I want to know what he's like... I can't remember the last time this happened to me "

I can't do the whole small talk getting to know you stuff though.

I just wanna talk about pretty penises and when we'll have the sex.

Fab has ruined me.

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By *illy IdolMan
52 weeks ago

Midlands


"How has he seen your boobs?

Ignore me,I read that wrong.

Boobs on the brain

Always"

And don't mention Fab to him. They can't handle the truth!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"How has he seen your boobs?

Ignore me,I read that wrong.

Boobs on the brain

Always

And don't mention Fab to him. They can't handle the truth!"

So I shouldn't send him a link to my profile?

You can delete whatsapp messages right?

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By *aitonelMan
52 weeks ago

Travelling


"Fuck around and find out.

Then report back... I want to know what he's like... I can't remember the last time this happened to me

I can't do the whole small talk getting to know you stuff though.

I just wanna talk about pretty penises and when we'll have the sex.

Fab has ruined me."

This is sort of true! When chatting to somebody vanilla/none fab it feels like I have to be careful to not mention sex or else be labelled only after sex!

On here, it's the nature of the place. A very sexualised joke or banter is just everyday chat. Sexualised flirting is normal.

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By *illy IdolMan
52 weeks ago

Midlands


"How has he seen your boobs?

Ignore me,I read that wrong.

Boobs on the brain

Always

And don't mention Fab to him. They can't handle the truth!

So I shouldn't send him a link to my profile?

You can delete whatsapp messages right? "

Your profile is shite. It would be in your interest to avoid this

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By *unner6969Man
52 weeks ago

Bicester


"…I'm flummoxed."

Tbh, I find it easier to meet people (and for sexual encounters to develop) in real life than I do on this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"How has he seen your boobs?

Ignore me,I read that wrong.

Boobs on the brain

Always

And don't mention Fab to him. They can't handle the truth!

So I shouldn't send him a link to my profile?

You can delete whatsapp messages right? "

Around 2 days to delete for everyone.

Around 15 min to edit the message.

And best wishes

T

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
52 weeks ago

Cambs

This has me laughing so hard...

I genuinely don't know what I'd do ha ha fab has ruined me for real world approach

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"How has he seen your boobs?

Ignore me,I read that wrong.

Boobs on the brain

Always

And don't mention Fab to him. They can't handle the truth!

So I shouldn't send him a link to my profile?

You can delete whatsapp messages right?

Your profile is shite. It would be in your interest to avoid this"

My profile is awesome, it brings me all the pretty penises.

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By *illy IdolMan
52 weeks ago

Midlands


"How has he seen your boobs?

Ignore me,I read that wrong.

Boobs on the brain

Always

And don't mention Fab to him. They can't handle the truth!

So I shouldn't send him a link to my profile?

You can delete whatsapp messages right?

Your profile is shite. It would be in your interest to avoid this

My profile is awesome, it brings me all the pretty penises.

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"How has he seen your boobs?

Ignore me,I read that wrong.

Boobs on the brain

Always

And don't mention Fab to him. They can't handle the truth!

So I shouldn't send him a link to my profile?

You can delete whatsapp messages right?

Your profile is shite. It would be in your interest to avoid this

My profile is awesome, it brings me all the pretty penises.

"

Eye rolling me?

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By *aitonelMan
52 weeks ago

Travelling

Did you tell him about Jeff?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"Did you tell him about Jeff? "

I lost friends because of this.

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By *cflirtyMan
52 weeks ago

Hampshire


"Hang on. I think I know the answer to this….

First crimp your hair, apply roller ball cola flavoured lip gloss. Pizza Hut date….

It may have been a year or 2 since I did this "

Hahaha ?? oh Misty

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By *erotic_adventureMan
52 weeks ago

London, Scotland & The North,

What about can he accommodate and meet at a time that always suits you....careful he may really want something,

yes company it does happen

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By *ruceyyMan
52 weeks ago

London


"Gave me his number! I mean, this hasn't happened since the summer of '96 and I'm a little unsure what to do.

He's seen my face before he's seen my boobs! Is this normal??

My first reaction when he suggested we go for a coffee was to book a hotel, this is brand new territory for me.

I know nothing about him, I've never seen him describe how he loves going down on a woman, I don't know his fav position, if he's ever come from a blow job, and most importantly, is his penis even pretty!?!?!!

I'm flummoxed.

"

You're hot! Well done for putting yourself out there!

Dibs on sex though

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Have you got life insurance O.P?

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By *viatrixWoman
52 weeks ago

Redhill

You don’t know if he can “breath” (sic) through his ears.

No veris either.

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By *wistedTooCouple
52 weeks ago

Frimley

Winning post of the week. lol. Funny. Love it.

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By *ruceyyMan
52 weeks ago

London


"Winning post of the week. lol. Funny. Love it."

Sorry what were you saying I got distracted by your 11110/10 vids

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By *hrista BellendWoman
52 weeks ago

Delightful Bliss


"How has he seen your boobs?

Ignore me,I read that wrong.

Boobs on the brain

Always

And don't mention Fab to him. They can't handle the truth!"

Definitely not. Don't want him wondering if you have met half the local lads(or his mates) for a quickie in the van

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
52 weeks ago

North West


"I mean how do you know if he'll stay down there for hours?!

What if his penis bends the wrong way?

Seems highly suspicious to me.

Bin.

He's not even sent me a dick pic.

Obviously a fake.

Did you request said dick pic?

Maybe he has *gasp* manners.

But don’t be too concerned about these.

I’m sure in no time you can train him up properly.

I'm female, he should know I want one.

If I don't get one in the next half hour I'm making a thread and labelling him a time waster.

Send him a photo of your painted nails wrapped around a sky remote, if he doesn't understand the assignment then he be fake unicorn and not very desirable

I have an Alexa remote? But small though, could give the wrong signals.

Do you have a can of Lynx or a Pringles tube (that's for the more ambitious chap).

Only the sour cream flavour? Again, mixed signals..."

I mean, green CAN be a good colour.... *Shrugs*

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By *wistedTooCouple
52 weeks ago

Frimley


"Winning post of the week. lol. Funny. Love it.

Sorry what were you saying I got distracted by your 11110/10 vids"

lol sorry?

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Now I wanna know about Jeff.

We all wanna know about Jeff.

Who's Jeff?

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Did he write his name as Jeff2023?

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Looks like you time travelled. A guy not sending an unsolicited dick pic in the first message seriously lacks manners!!

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By *aitonelMan
52 weeks ago

Travelling


"Did he write his name as Jeff2023?

"

My name Jeff

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"Did he write his name as Jeff2023?

My name Jeff"

Sounds like it should be Tarzan.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
52 weeks ago


"Now I wanna know about Jeff.

We all wanna know about Jeff.

Who's Jeff?"

We don't talk about Jeff

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"I swear it's actually easier to meet men in real life than it is on here.

... And it's much more exhilarating to get chatted up in real life by a human, as opposed to being lewdly propositioned by a box of text adjacent to an image of a greyscale penis"

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By *panishbull90Man
52 weeks ago

rochdale

If he had the guts to ask for your number in real life the leasst you could do is giving him a chance.

We must encurage that kind of behaviour!!

What's the worst that could happens? Catching feelings? Damn it, it sounds more dangerous than what I thought ...

Keep us updated! I love a goship

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Damn, that's weird as fuck. I would definitely just stick to the men on Fab if I was you. If you haven't seen his cock by this point then that's a huge red flag. I am worried for you.

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By *hrek101Man
52 weeks ago

Herts

Give him an empty ice cream tub and ask him if can fill it...assess his cummer status...low.. medium...heavy

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