FabSwingers.com forum: Whadda ya think

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t bother.

Don’t wanna be anyone’s backup plan.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Depends how much u liked her really? X

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

Tell her to go take a run and jump

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By *arryandhedgehogCouple
over a year ago

Thurrock

She’s using you a place filler she didn’t deem you good enough for her before she won’t this time round. It depends what you want if you see it as just casual then respond and see where it goes but if you’re looking for a relationship stay well away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slow clap for her being honest and transparent with you, but really? Sounds like she is both very impulsive and emotionally immature.

If that’s your bag, message her back.

If you want a drama free life, walk away.

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By *ir SupremacyMan
over a year ago

Bolton

No one ever remembers the runners up .

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By *ullyMan
over a year ago

Near Clacton

Move on, or get dumped later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

Meet her again then decide.

She was honest. If she hadn't said anything you'd still be chatting, oblivious.

You could be soul mates.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"I wouldn’t bother.

Don’t wanna be anyone’s backup plan. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Least she's been up front and honest.

But it'd make me feel like second choice too.

I guess you could say for her you don't ask you don't get? Worth a throw

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I'm for meeting again and seeing how that goes.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I don't think this will bring any long term happiness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you read the first text as no thanks, bye OR just a little update to keep you in a loop and confirming she enjoyed meeting you too? If the former, I'd pass. Missing the context of course and your intuition should tell you what to do what's best for you.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

Meet her again then decide.

She was honest. If she hadn't said anything you'd still be chatting, oblivious.

You could be soul mates. "

I agree with this.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

Meet her again then decide.

She was honest. If she hadn't said anything you'd still be chatting, oblivious.

You could be soul mates.

I agree with this.

Mrs "

Plus she didn't string him along or waste his time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn’t bother.

Don’t wanna be anyone’s backup plan. "

I don't see it as a backup plan at all?

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

Don't be anyone's second choice or back up plan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op. That’s the dating game right there.

What would I do?

Probably go out if I liked her, and possibly thank the heavens for that last guy not working out of you do make a go of it!

But having said that, I hate to feel like an option, and especially like I was the second choice, so there’s that.

Modern dating would suck if I tried that game. That’s why I don’t play games, I let a woman know exact where I am.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

If you like her go for it, what’s the worst that can happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

Are you here for sex?

Then meet her and go for it

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By *ags73Man
over a year ago

glasgow-ish

Depends on how you feel about being her plan B.

If you’re cool with it, go meet her.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"Slow clap for her being honest and transparent with you, but really? Sounds like she is both very impulsive and emotionally immature.

If that’s your bag, message her back.

If you want a drama free life, walk away. "

This

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

Go for it...nothing ventured nothing gained

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Politely decline.

Don't be someones option.

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

If you think she is worth it, go for it!

BUT..... if she does it again to you. then drop it

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

I think it's odd how many see it as being someone's plan b or option. At the time she thought she'd met someone she could be taking things further with so she let him know. No point stringing the op along. I'd probably go as she was honest about that and you never know. Good luck op whatever you choose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/11/23 13:39:43]

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By *ndtheswingersMan
over a year ago

colchester

How was it when you met originally OP?

I'd think she's interested in you or she wouldn't have messaged you again!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’d probably ignore.

Not good enough the first time then sure as eggs I won’t be going back for a re-try.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Just out of curiousity op, how long was it between the text to say she'd met someone and the next one to say it didn't work out.

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By *empest2KMan
over a year ago

Derby

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

I think I'd probably chat and see what happens, but I think I'd be more cautious than before because I'd have a nagging doubt at the back of my mind that they'll keep stringing me along as their ‘plan B’ and, when it comes to relationships, I don't want to be someone's backup option or ‘safe bet’.

But if it's something you're happy to pursue, good for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's odd how many see it as being someone's plan b or option. At the time she thought she'd met someone she could be taking things further with so she let him know. No point stringing the op along. I'd probably go as she was honest about that and you never know. Good luck op whatever you choose.

I agree with you.. interesting the split m vs f as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

EVERYBODY is a plan B, C, D or a 2nd, 3rd option etc.

Unless you literally started a relationship with your first date and you're still together now.

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By *ileen doverWoman
over a year ago

faberdare

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

If you like her go for it, what’s the worst that can happen "
get dumped again nah I’d move along

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say sorry to hear that, been lovely speaking with you.

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By *inkyguyUKMan
over a year ago

worcester

Why not, you never know keep at it. Just because it didn't work out with the other fella then maybe it will with you.

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By *inkyguyUKMan
over a year ago

worcester

"EVERYBODY is a plan B, C, D or a 2nd, 3rd option etc.

Unless you literally started a relationship with your first date and you're still together now. "
plan b arrived on a holiday

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

it would be a no thanks from me,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck her, give the fuck of a lifetime and really show her a good time.

And then leave saying.... and that's what you'll be missing out on.

Disclaimer....I'm joking, and not being mean to women. Or men.

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By *heelerMan
over a year ago

Northants

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

You don't grt many opportunities on here so take up on the chance 2nd.time lucky.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Slow clap for her being honest and transparent with you, but really? Sounds like she is both very impulsive and emotionally immature.

If that’s your bag, message her back.

If you want a drama free life, walk away. "

This! With the caveat that it depends how quickly she dumped "Mr Right" and how long you had been chatting for before she "dumped" him. Realistically, we often chat/date more than one person until things get serious with that one person.

But I still feel she could be a drama queen. Only you know if that's fair x

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"
2nd best lol not sure whether i could be 2nd choice

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By *apxxxWoman
over a year ago

North Shropshire not Wales!!!ffs & Manchester

Plan B...if you're ok with that go for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

You don't grt many opportunities on here so take up on the chance 2nd.time lucky."

Stand on the M25 to increase your chances of being hit by a Toyota Yaris.

2nd chances are massively overrated.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"I wouldn’t bother.

Don’t wanna be anyone’s backup plan. "

This. With a 'off you fuck'

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By *hawn ScottMan
over a year ago

london Brixton

Personally I would ignore it, nothing people hate worse than being ignored.

I remember having a few dates with a girl and thought things were going well. She then sent me a war in peace email on how I was such a nice guy blah but don't think I'm the one blah but I deserve to meet somebody blah hope we can still be friends blah.

I just read it and went meh! And ignored it. Just thought of her thinking that she had made all that effort for nothing. It may have pissed her off or she may just thought I was a that??? We'll never know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

What are your instincts telling you? Was it a good coffee date? Were you excited for a second date? Have you missed talking to her?

Realistically we're often in those early stages of dating with more than one person at a time.

If she is looking for a relationship and has been dedicated enough to someone she wanted to try and make it work with by calling off all other suitors, is that not what you would want too? It didn't work out, why should she have to start from square one again if she saw something she liked in you?

I want honesty more than anything from my partners so I'd see this good dating etiquette if I were looking for monogamy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

What are your instincts telling you? Was it a good coffee date? Were you excited for a second date? Have you missed talking to her?

Realistically we're often in those early stages of dating with more than one person at a time.

I want honesty more than anything from my partners so I'd see this good dating etiquette if I were looking for monogamy."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

Shag her then text her a few days later to say, you've met someone else

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By *GermanInLondonMan
over a year ago

London

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

What are your instincts telling you? Was it a good coffee date? Were you excited for a second date? Have you missed talking to her?

Realistically we're often in those early stages of dating with more than one person at a time.

I want honesty more than anything from my partners so I'd see this good dating etiquette if I were looking for monogamy.

Agree as well. Honesty is a great asset

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

Reply sorry to hear that, I'm here for a pity shag if you need it.

That's true man power right here!

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By *itygamesMan
over a year ago

send her the invoice for the coffee

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Reply sorry to hear that, I'm here for a pity shag if you need it.

That's true man power right here!"

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

What are your instincts telling you? Was it a good coffee date? Were you excited for a second date? Have you missed talking to her?

Realistically we're often in those early stages of dating with more than one person at a time.

I want honesty more than anything from my partners so I'd see this good dating etiquette if I were looking for monogamy."

Someone on board with my way of thinking. Yay!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just out of curiousity op, how long was it between the text to say she'd met someone and the next one to say it didn't work out."

My guess, I'd deleted the original messages.. about 3 weeks ish

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

Thing is... life is short. If you're willing to pass something by then they really aren't that appealing to you. Personally I'd look at how interested I was in that person and how we got on. When dating we all have various options don't we? That's the joy in dating surely?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I messaged her back

we're meeting for a drink this weekend

and we'll see what happens

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By *ags73Man
over a year ago

glasgow-ish

"I messaged her back

we're meeting for a drink this weekend

and we'll see what happens

Get in there!

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

"I messaged her back

we're meeting for a drink this weekend

and we'll see what happens

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

I’d be saying ‘I’m sorry but I’m no one’s second choice’.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"I wouldn’t bother.

Don’t wanna be anyone’s backup plan. "

Agree

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

I’d be saying ‘I’m sorry but I’m no one’s second choice’."

I read your profile. I understand your response!

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Ask her if she takes it up the arse. If she says ‘yes’ then pound her sheriffs badge then text her a few hours later explaining how she’s not the one for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a chance. I get quite funny about things like this, but if someone is into me and having casual fun with others it doesn't make me feel desired and completely puts me off them. I would no longer be interested. But that's me, and I know that's a bit strange. If you like her and you're not bothered by what she gets up to then you've got nothing to lose arranging more dates.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

I’d be saying ‘I’m sorry but I’m no one’s second choice’.

I read your profile. I understand your response!"

You

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I messaged her back

we're meeting for a drink this weekend

and we'll see what happens

Excellent! Good luck

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"I messaged her back

we're meeting for a drink this weekend

and we'll see what happens

Excellent! Good luck "

Enjoy

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.

Swingers site.. Nothing exclusive xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.

I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is

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By *a1970Man
over a year ago

East cork

I have not read all this tread but... But every one n8a back up plan.... Go with it

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

If you liked her then give it another try, nowt ventured ….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I messaged her back

we're meeting for a drink this weekend

and we'll see what happens

Well done! My philosophy with dating is mostly to give a second chance unless someone is a total idiot - it’s a horrid game out there and hard enough to find someone you click with. Sure, sometimes people don’t deserve a 2nd chance and you feel like an idiot for giving it - but better than missing the love of your life for some silly dating rule!

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.

I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is"

Really?! Oh. I thought this was the tinder generation. I give up absolutely!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Text back saying "thanks but I've met someone now"

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

"Text back saying "thanks but I've met someone now""

agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I messaged her back

we're meeting for a drink this weekend

and we'll see what happens

Yay! Have fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.

I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is

Really?! Oh. I thought this was the tinder generation. I give up absolutely!"

By the 3rd date?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

I'd totally ignore her....I wouldn't be anyones 2nd best....No Way....that's door mat treatment tbh...."well that didn't work out" so I'm back to you....She made her choice & it wasn't you & now she's crawling back ha....keep crawling I'd say....the other way....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean... did you like her and would want to persue?

Asking internet randoms is not really the best gauge of advice.

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By *atthew 776Man
over a year ago

your town

To be fair if I getvtwo matches on a site, as soon as second date is organised I tell the other one it’s not right to talk to her ( second date is yeah I liked you first one could go somewhere)

There are people who will date 4 /5 people at a time for weeks or months so realistically it’s more she has morals than you being a back up.

Just see why she cancelled or get her points why she’s back

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"To be fair if I getvtwo matches on a site, as soon as second date is organised I tell the other one it’s not right to talk to her ( second date is yeah I liked you first one could go somewhere)

There are people who will date 4 /5 people at a time for weeks or months so realistically it’s more she has morals than you being a back up.

Just see why she cancelled or get her points why she’s back "

Crazy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I messaged her back

we're meeting for a drink this weekend

and we'll see what happens

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.

I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is"

All they've done is swap some messages

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"I messaged her back

we're meeting for a drink this weekend

and we'll see what happens

Good luck

Enjoy xx

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.

I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is

All they've done is swap some messages

That's what I thought. People treating it like they've been seeing each other for a while. No wonder many of you struggle with fab!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.

I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is

All they've done is swap some messages

That's what I thought. People treating it like they've been seeing each other for a while. No wonder many of you struggle with fab!!"

I feel attacked.

Tbh, it's usually far more dates these days, apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.

I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is

All they've done is swap some messages

That's what I thought. People treating it like they've been seeing each other for a while. No wonder many of you struggle with fab!!"

Sorry you messaged someone else earlier up the thread ... I've had to block you

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.

I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is

All they've done is swap some messages

That's what I thought. People treating it like they've been seeing each other for a while. No wonder many of you struggle with fab!!"

Fab is just passing...simples

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.

I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is

All they've done is swap some messages

That's what I thought. People treating it like they've been seeing each other for a while. No wonder many of you struggle with fab!!

Sorry you messaged someone else earlier up the thread ... I've had to block you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was getting ready for bed, nearly midnight..brushed my teeth, checked the doors were locked windows closed. Got into bed, light off..

Text message:

Asking for me to go to their house 10 moles away. They'd been stood up twice that night.

I ignored the message, turned off phone and was pissed off so had a drink of tea then went back to bed..

Bloody chhek so late at night no notice and being not their first or second choice but third!

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By *ags73Man
over a year ago

glasgow-ish

Asking internet randoms is not really the best gauge of advice.

Dunno, seen some sound advice on here, the fabbers might be. Horny lot but they’re not thick (well.. that’s another whole thing)

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By *unnoisseurMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Mate this is a swinging site.

NSA fun and all that good stuff. If you’re looking for a partner then move on. If you’re looking for fun and frolics at least she was honest enough to let you know she thought she had found someone and then thoughtful enough to let you know she was still interested.

A swing goes back and forth. So swing my friend smile and shout Weeeeeeeee!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mate this is a swinging site.

Op said they were on a dating site, not here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mate this is a swinging site.

Op said they were on a dating site, not here"

Yes it was on a dating site....That's The Difference....hence my other comment further up

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By *arley QuimWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Good for you OP. I hope you have a nice time

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By *hunky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

***

Depends on how desperate are you.

I would say ignore her, but your willy should have a say in this.

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By *arley QuimWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

***

Depends on how desperate are you.

I would say ignore her, but your willy should have a say in this."

Why desperate? Genuinely curious... They'd only chatted and been for a coffee previously. It's not like a church was booked and everyone's mum had bought a hat

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

This I agree with. Many years ago before internet. New a female who when going out with a group of friends paired up with. Did not date as such. Met first wife while working away. After divorce . Again met up with same female . We again saw each other a lot. She had been married and divorced also. Both had bad divorces.

Now she married again after a while . We were very good friends . I went to her wedding. She said to me at reception that although she loved husband . Her regret losing me.

So yes always when dating . You may be at first second choice. But who knows possibly first choice ?

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By *hunky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?

***

Depends on how desperate are you.

I would say ignore her, but your willy should have a say in this.

Why desperate? Genuinely curious... They'd only chatted and been for a coffee previously. It's not like a church was booked and everyone's mum had bought a hat "

***

I just read the opening on the thread.

Didn't have that info,sorry.

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By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"

What would you do ?"

As long as you’re happy being second choice it’s all good

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By *oJo pornstarMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I was getting ready for bed, nearly midnight..brushed my teeth, checked the doors were locked windows closed. Got into bed, light off..

Text message:

Asking for me to go to their house 10 moles away. They'd been stood up twice that night.

I ignored the message, turned off phone and was pissed off so had a drink of tea then went back to bed..

Bloody chhek so late at night no notice and being not their first or second choice but third!

"
I have had similar from couples further than 10 miles away, had a quick think about it, saddled up then on my way to meet them and had some great nights that way.

I have been on here as a couple with my previous partner and we enjoyed meeting single guys, you need to bear in mind just how hard it is to pick the right guy, messages from 100s of guys, you know that some of them are well decent fellas, but picking the appropriate guy isn't as easy as you think.

If am 3rd or 4th choice and a couple find out the 2 or 3 guys they put before me turned out be,,,,, knobheads/disappointments, then am happy to be their 4th disappointment

It's great being 1st choice, but I'd be fine being standby as long as the girl/couple are honest about what's going on

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"This I agree with. Many years ago before internet. New a female who when going out with a group of friends paired up with. Did not date as such. Met first wife while working away. After divorce . Again met up with same female . We again saw each other a lot. She had been married and divorced also. Both had bad divorces.

Now she married again after a while . We were very good friends . I went to her wedding. She said to me at reception that although she loved husband . Her regret losing me.

So yes always when dating . You may be at first second choice. But who knows possibly first choice ? "

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