FabSwingers.com forum: Wanted: a woman

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I have a dog. Apart from that I’m definitely out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "

Fail

Kinda pass

Fail

Pass

I have a dog's ashes? Can send photo.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Good luck OP

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Out

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Can. Won't.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "

Well that's me out on all counts lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "

Clean guns?,say goodbye to your zero

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Able to, sure. Will do, probably not. Must do, absolutely fucking not.

But I have a cute mutt. And no need for extra penii. So I reckon I'm winning

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Oh, I can do all of those things. Have dogs too. Not a woman though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this the 1950s?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Is this the 1950s?"

Yes. Now keep quiet and back in the kitchen with you.

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

What's in it for me?

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"What's in it for me?

I'm presuming unlimited intercourse

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog

Fail

Kinda pass

Fail

Pass

I have a dog's ashes? Can send photo. "

Please

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's in it for me?

Pride

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is this the 1950s?"

1850s

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll send me mum over.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ll send me mum over.

Cheers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/11/23 18:06:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this the 1950s?

Yes. Now keep quiet and back in the kitchen with you. "

I’ve just sat down

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Also must rig decoys and set traps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also must rig decoys and set traps "

Now you have crossed the line, set your own bloody traps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm, for free?!

I do have a cute dog though.

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By *amieLDN22Man
over a year ago

London

Invite me to the wedding please

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Erm, for free?!

I do have a cute dog though."

What’s his name?

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By *he ass man 666Man
over a year ago

paradise city

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "

Good luck brother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Erm, for free?!

I do have a cute dog though.

What’s his name? "

George

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Ladies he does drive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how have I ended up in the 1940’s

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Erm, for free?!

I do have a cute dog though.

What’s his name?

George

Can I see George please?

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

"What's in it for me?

Pride "

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "

How demanding

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Erm, for free?!

I do have a cute dog though.

What’s his name?

George

Beautiful British name

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

how have I ended up in the 1940’s "

You go to the 70s and turn right

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though"

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?"

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it "

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then. "

That’ll be the title of my autobiography

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then.

That’ll be the title of my autobiography

I own the copyright

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then.

That’ll be the title of my autobiography

I own the copyright"

What if I offer a tenner?

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then.

That’ll be the title of my autobiography

Eulogy.

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then.

That’ll be the title of my autobiography

I own the copyright

What if I offer a tenner? "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then.

That’ll be the title of my autobiography

Eulogy."

Not if I write it

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Swerve all of that... Except the dog.

Add likes making cocktails. Caiprinhas

And that thing... You know the thing with the eye contact and the lip bite or eye brow raise or whatever that is just... Game over.

Good domino or card game is a bonus too.

Maybe doesn't steal my socks... Meh whatever let's not push it hey: miracles and all that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then.

That’ll be the title of my autobiography

I own the copyright

What if I offer a tenner?

Fair point well made jimbo

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Swerve all of that... Except the dog.

Add likes making cocktails. Caiprinhas

And that thing... You know the thing with the eye contact and the lip bite or eye brow raise or whatever that is just... Game over.

Good domino or card game is a bonus too.

Maybe doesn't steal my socks... Meh whatever let's not push it hey: miracles and all that."

I love caipirinha. In

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

OP - you looking to let the winner take part in the Talkeetna Wilderness Woman competition?

#bestCompetionInTheWorld

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Swerve all of that... Except the dog.

Add likes making cocktails. Caiprinhas

And that thing... You know the thing with the eye contact and the lip bite or eye brow raise or whatever that is just... Game over.

Good domino or card game is a bonus too.

Maybe doesn't steal my socks... Meh whatever let's not push it hey: miracles and all that.

I love caipirinha. In

I can barely even pronounce that word but all the best to ya

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "

Sound more like you need a mother than a lover

Nita

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Swerve all of that... Except the dog.

Add likes making cocktails. Caiprinhas

And that thing... You know the thing with the eye contact and the lip bite or eye brow raise or whatever that is just... Game over.

Good domino or card game is a bonus too.

Maybe doesn't steal my socks... Meh whatever let's not push it hey: miracles and all that.

I love caipirinha. In

I can barely even pronounce that word but all the best to ya

Just ask for the most tasty cocktail on the menu. That should sort it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Swerve all of that... Except the dog.

Add likes making cocktails. Caiprinhas

And that thing... You know the thing with the eye contact and the lip bite or eye brow raise or whatever that is just... Game over.

Good domino or card game is a bonus too.

Maybe doesn't steal my socks... Meh whatever let's not push it hey: miracles and all that.

I love caipirinha. In

I can barely even pronounce that word but all the best to ya

Just ask for the most tasty cocktail on the menu. That should sort it

And then tell the waitress that I meant her. Oh god I’m smooth.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Swerve all of that... Except the dog.

Add likes making cocktails. Caiprinhas

And that thing... You know the thing with the eye contact and the lip bite or eye brow raise or whatever that is just... Game over.

Good domino or card game is a bonus too.

Maybe doesn't steal my socks... Meh whatever let's not push it hey: miracles and all that.

I love caipirinha. In

I can barely even pronounce that word but all the best to ya

Just ask for the most tasty cocktail on the menu. That should sort it

And then tell the waitress that I meant her. Oh god I’m smooth. "

Something like smooth anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Swerve all of that... Except the dog.

Add likes making cocktails. Caiprinhas

And that thing... You know the thing with the eye contact and the lip bite or eye brow raise or whatever that is just... Game over.

Good domino or card game is a bonus too.

Maybe doesn't steal my socks... Meh whatever let's not push it hey: miracles and all that.

I love caipirinha. In

I can barely even pronounce that word but all the best to ya

Just ask for the most tasty cocktail on the menu. That should sort it

And then tell the waitress that I meant her. Oh god I’m smooth.

Something like smooth anyway

Definitely

Smooth like braille

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then.

That’ll be the title of my autobiography

I own the copyright

What if I offer a tenner?

Fair point well made jimbo "

Who's Jimbo?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, I can do all of those things. Have dogs too. Not a woman though. "

What this guy said. X

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "

Sewing - tick

Ironing - tick

Cleaning - tick

Cooking - you'd marry me if you tasted it

Baking - hmmmm, not too good unfortunately

Clean guns - officer in the SADF. I can clean pistols, assault rifles, hand machine carbines and RPG7s. Tick

Shopping - tick

Dog - cute little spaniel

Plus I'm dynamite in bed.

Because what could be more of a woman than a woman in a man's body.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog

Sewing - tick

Ironing - tick

Cleaning - tick

Cooking - you'd marry me if you tasted it

Baking - hmmmm, not too good unfortunately

Clean guns - officer in the SADF. I can clean pistols, assault rifles, hand machine carbines and RPG7s. Tick

Shopping - tick

Dog - cute little spaniel

Plus I'm dynamite in bed.

Because what could be more of a woman than a woman in a man's body.

Can I have you please?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog

Sewing - tick

Ironing - tick

Cleaning - tick

Cooking - you'd marry me if you tasted it

Baking - hmmmm, not too good unfortunately

Clean guns - officer in the SADF. I can clean pistols, assault rifles, hand machine carbines and RPG7s. Tick

Shopping - tick

Dog - cute little spaniel

Plus I'm dynamite in bed.

Because what could be more of a woman than a woman in a man's body.

Can I have you please?

Because what could be more of a woman than LB in a ridiculously tight t-shirt?

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "

I have a dog. And I can clean weapon systems. I’m not making any guarantees in the rest though, sorry.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Swerve all of that... Except the dog.

Add likes making cocktails. Caiprinhas

And that thing... You know the thing with the eye contact and the lip bite or eye brow raise or whatever that is just... Game over.

Good domino or card game is a bonus too.

Maybe doesn't steal my socks... Meh whatever let's not push it hey: miracles and all that.

I love caipirinha. In

You can steal my socks - you're cool

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then.

That’ll be the title of my autobiography

I own the copyright

What if I offer a tenner?

Fair point well made jimbo

Who's Jimbo?"

That was a reference to ‘the royle family’ sitcom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not interested in being dogs body

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "

Can do all those things and so much more. That's why I married a women who can do them too.

Don't worry, we do.leave our 'man' out of his cage in the basement occasionally to take the dog for a walk, clean up his shit and wash the dishes. He's handy for fixing taps and emptying the bins.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a dog. Apart from that I’m definitely out!"

Everything else can be taught..

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "

Brillent

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By *unInTheSun80sCouple
over a year ago

Costa Del Sol

Does this mean I'm not a woman because I can't do any of that (can't or won't same thing)

Miss G xxxx

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By *unInTheSun80sCouple
over a year ago

Costa Del Sol

But please feel free to send any pictures of your doggos.

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By *ruffle888Woman
over a year ago

under the council skies...

No sew no iron,no dog...

But a do have a trusty reliable chainsaw

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By *unInTheSun80sCouple
over a year ago

Costa Del Sol

"No sew no iron,no dog...

But a do have a trusty reliable chainsaw"

Ohhhhhh do you do lend outs?????

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By *ruffle888Woman
over a year ago

under the council skies...

"No sew no iron,no dog...

But a do have a trusty reliable chainsaw

Ohhhhhh do you do lend outs????? "

Nope.. sorry chain saw is my best friend.. never argues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "
I have guns and dogs. I don't cook much.

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By *arley QuimWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Can clean guns, got a doggo... Can't cook or clean for shit!

Seeking male who cooks, and cleans?... Must wear squirrel skin hat please

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By *unInTheSun80sCouple
over a year ago

Costa Del Sol

"No sew no iron,no dog...

But a do have a trusty reliable chainsaw

Ohhhhhh do you do lend outs?????

Nope.. sorry chain saw is my best friend.. never argues

Your probably right chainsaw too messy I'm more of a poison and lye in the bath kinda girl

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By *ruffle888Woman
over a year ago

under the council skies...

"No sew no iron,no dog...

But a do have a trusty reliable chainsaw

Ohhhhhh do you do lend outs?????

Nope.. sorry chain saw is my best friend.. never argues

Your probably right chainsaw too messy I'm more of a poison and lye in the bath kinda girl

?? ?? ??

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then.

That’ll be the title of my autobiography

I own the copyright

What if I offer a tenner?

Fair point well made jimbo

Who's Jimbo?

That was a reference to ‘the royle family’ sitcom "

Why?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog

Can do all those things and so much more. That's why I married a women who can do them too.

Don't worry, we do.leave our 'man' out of his cage in the basement occasionally to take the dog for a walk, clean up his shit and wash the dishes. He's handy for fixing taps and emptying the bins."

Sounds like a perfect setup

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's in it for me?

Pride

I have lots of pride already, I don't need anymore of that

Yeah pride is all about gay stuff now tbf. It’s also a sin though

Well no it isn't tbf.

Are you a God botherer?

I’m just here playing with fire cos I like it

Ah so you're a god bothering sexist pyromaniac then.

That’ll be the title of my autobiography

I own the copyright

What if I offer a tenner?

Fair point well made jimbo

Who's Jimbo?

That was a reference to ‘the royle family’ sitcom

Why? "

Why not ?

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By *unInTheSun80sCouple
over a year ago

Costa Del Sol

"No sew no iron,no dog...

But a do have a trusty reliable chainsaw

Ohhhhhh do you do lend outs?????

Nope.. sorry chain saw is my best friend.. never argues

Your probably right chainsaw too messy I'm more of a poison and lye in the bath kinda girl

?? ?? ?? "

I haven't planned it out or anything honest

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog "

If you find what you’re after , ask her if she’s got a sister will you mate

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Must be able to sew, iron , clean, cook dinners, bake cakes, clean guns? must do the shopping, must have a dog.

Please send picture of dog

If you find what you’re after , ask her if she’s got a sister will you mate

You can have her Nan mate lol

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