FabSwingers.com forum: If the Zombie Apocalypse....

By *winging Sally Sean OP Couple
over a year ago

Warks / Northants Border

...happened tomorrow. What little tips do you have for after the supermarkets run empty, to keep maintain a link to current society.

If you collect acorns, you can wash the tanin from them, before roasting and grinding like coffee beans. Acorn coffee. It doesn't taste like conventional coffee, but it grows in abundance throughout the UK.

NB. This was meant for Halloween, but I forgot to post it! So, just pretend it's still yesterday

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Dress up nice. Find a weak one to bite you so you don't have too many open wounds.

I don't care about surviving. As long as I stay hot

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

When you hopefully kill the zombie before it kills you, don’t just leave it there on the floor, cool it and eat it

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

All parts of Dandelions are edible and the roots can even be dried to make coffee (although it tastes pretty grim)

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Prepare yourself to get raided by hungry desperate humans who don't care about you.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Tool up! Keep your chainsaw well oiled

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Go to weatherspoons to acclimatise yourself to what’s to come

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out "

I'm so glad i don't live close to you

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out "

Taste a bit sour I'd imagine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be dead so I wouldn’t have to worry about it

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Tool up! Keep your chainsaw well oiled

Is that a euphemism ?

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out

Taste a bit sour I'd imagine

who cares its a case of eat or die right

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out

I'm so glad i don't live close to you

lol to be honest I would probably anyone if I was that hungry , other than my friends / family

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Tool up! Keep your chainsaw well oiled

Is that a euphemism ?"

It could be

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By *r lotharioMan
over a year ago

newcastle-under-lyme

start with throwing all the druggy alcies to them. they'll be high, pissed and full for a while. this should provide ample time to sort out a better means of survival.

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By *r lotharioMan
over a year ago

newcastle-under-lyme

"When you hopefully kill the zombie before it kills you, don’t just leave it there on the floor, cool it and eat it "

zomburgers, yum

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out "

Why pick oldies we have tougher meat better of with younger people

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out

Taste a bit sour I'd imagine

who cares its a case of eat or die right "

Well if we have choice... there's plenty of plump children out there

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By *r lotharioMan
over a year ago

newcastle-under-lyme

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out

Taste a bit sour I'd imagine

who cares its a case of eat or die right

Well if we have choice... there's plenty of plump children out there "

leave the mcdonalds generation kids out of this hahahaha

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out "

Is that you Boris ?

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By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell

Grow a Lot of mushrooms and find every recipe you can for them.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Get to a B&Q, use tools and supplies to fortify it against raiders and zombies, should have generators, solar panels, a garden centre to grow food.

And garden forks, axes, nail guns for attack & defence.

Use it as a hub for scouring the local area for tinned food and more survivors.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Grow a Lot of mushrooms and find every recipe you can for them.

I don't know what mushrooms like though ....

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out

Taste a bit sour I'd imagine

who cares its a case of eat or die right

Well if we have choice... there's plenty of plump children out there

leave the mcdonalds generation kids out of this hahahaha"

Why? they won't be able to run very fast... it's easy pickings

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By *r lotharioMan
over a year ago

newcastle-under-lyme

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out

Taste a bit sour I'd imagine

who cares its a case of eat or die right

Well if we have choice... there's plenty of plump children out there

leave the mcdonalds generation kids out of this hahahaha

Why? they won't be able to run very fast... it's easy pickings

true and since all them burgers make 'em spotty and ginger too they'll (a) stand out like a sore thumb, and (b) if you can get 'em put the x-box controller down long enough they can pop pimples at oncoming zombies as a means of defence....

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Right. So. I’m pretty self-sufficient out where I live so the first thing to do is fortify the boundaries. There’s a lumber yard on the other side of the loch, so I’m good for supplies to do that. I already planned out which nearby locals I need on side. One of the farmers. The bloke who builds fences. The local butcher. The woman who runs the nursery up the road because she’s best with plants and growing food. So I kill off the closest neighbours - a necessary sacrifice because I need to bring all the useful, practical locals to come live within the compound we’re going to construct. And then we stay self-sufficient as a little gated community of non-zombies. Plenty of clean water from the burn. Grow our own veg, raise our own sheep and cattle. Shoot the occasional deer and rabbit that gets in over or under the stockade fencing. I reckon we could last a good few years that way.

What? I’ve thought about this before.

You mean you *don’t* have a zombie plan already?

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By *hawn ScottMan
over a year ago

london Brixton

I have access to a bomb shelter, just eat don't deliver there unfortunately

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"I have access to a bomb shelter, just eat don't deliver there unfortunately "

If the zombies turn up, they'll just eat...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a sword and go all michonne on their arse

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

I've turned already ..so I've not got those problems..

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By *hawn ScottMan
over a year ago

london Brixton

"Right. So. I’m pretty self-sufficient out where I live so the first thing to do is fortify the boundaries. There’s a lumber yard on the other side of the loch, so I’m good for supplies to do that. I already planned out which nearby locals I need on side. One of the farmers. The bloke who builds fences. The local butcher. The woman who runs the nursery up the road because she’s best with plants and growing food. So I kill off the closest neighbours - a necessary sacrifice because I need to bring all the useful, practical locals to come live within the compound we’re going to construct. And then we stay self-sufficient as a little gated community of non-zombies. Plenty of clean water from the burn. Grow our own veg, raise our own sheep and cattle. Shoot the occasional deer and rabbit that gets in over or under the stockade fencing. I reckon we could last a good few years that way.

What? I’ve thought about this before.

You mean you *don’t* have a zombie plan already?"

I don't even have a fukin retirement plan

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I’d rather die than surrender to acorn coffee!

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By *winging Sally Sean OP Couple
over a year ago

Warks / Northants Border

Wow! Some people on here have very advanced planning!

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"...happened tomorrow. What little tips do you have for after the supermarkets run empty, to keep maintain a link to current society.

NB. This was meant for Halloween, but I forgot to post it! So, just pretend it's still yesterday

Proof, as usual, that a zombie apocalypse doesn't automatically follow Halloween!

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out

Why pick oldies we have tougher meat better of with younger people

Younger ones won't taste of leaking piss, either!

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out

Is that you Boris ?"

dont worry he will get eaten first

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out

Why pick oldies we have tougher meat better of with younger people

Younger ones won't taste of leaking piss, either!"

elderly are less mobile/agile . so require less effort to hunt/round up ... risk vs reward right

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

"round up the elderly as you can eat them once the food runs out "
laughing so hard at this!

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By *r lotharioMan
over a year ago

newcastle-under-lyme

What? I’ve thought about this before.

You mean you *don’t* have a zombie plan already?"

now don't forget all the sewers and knitters - you'll need those too unless this little gated anti-zombie community of yours is a naturist one

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By *hampagne_Supernova_91Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Avoid towns and cities unless absolutely necessary. Or Just move to Eccles, the zombies would avoid there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what they did in dawn of the dead.

Get the higher ground.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"Do what they did in dawn of the dead.

Get the higher ground."

I'll be at The Winchester instead...

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By *aulaxd2020TV/TS
over a year ago

dudley

"Do what they did in dawn of the dead.

Get the higher ground."
I wouldn’t worry to much the takeaways on Lye high street will still open post apocalypse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you knock the stairs out in you house you can prevent zombies from getting you while you sleep safely upstairs. Just use a ladder/rope when you want to go up and down

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By *use and wolfCouple
over a year ago

angus

If you're close to the sea then you have a ready supply of food in shellfish, crustaceans, fish and sea.

Never eat anything you aren't 100% sure of, especially mushrooms and berries.

Always double tap.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Get to the dropship and nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
over a year ago

London or Bedford

WAIT!

Nobodies asking - What Zombies are they?

Different fictions have different zombie rules.

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD - They’re fast intelligent & indestructible

ROMERO ZOMBIES - You have a fighting chance

28DAYS LATER - Kiss your arse goodbye

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"WAIT!

Nobodies asking - What Zombies are they?

Different fictions have different zombie rules.

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD - They’re fast intelligent & indestructible

ROMERO ZOMBIES - You have a fighting chance

28DAYS LATER - Kiss your arse goodbye "

GoT WHITE WALKERS - you'll have to kill the Night King. Hope you've got done Valyrian steel...

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

I wouldn’t be maintaining any links to society, I’ll see you in the woods! The safety word for not being shot on approach will be available nearer the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do what they did in dawn of the dead.

Get the higher ground.

I'll be at The Winchester instead..."
give me another Dave put it on the slate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* looks at Tory government

IF you say…

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

"Do what they did in dawn of the dead.

Get the higher ground."

I always have the high ground

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"WAIT!

Nobodies asking - What Zombies are they?

Different fictions have different zombie rules.

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD - They’re fast intelligent & indestructible

ROMERO ZOMBIES - You have a fighting chance

28DAYS LATER - Kiss your arse goodbye

GoT WHITE WALKERS - you'll have to kill the Night King. Hope you've got done Valyrian steel..."

World War Z - just kill yourself

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Decide what vinyl records to throw at the zombies. #sean_of_the_dead

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

Every time I visit a castle or similar, I scope it out as a possible bolthole, post zombie apocalypse.

The alcazar and castle in Malaga are good. Water, orange trees, easily defendable, good views into the city below for safer raiding.

Lots of seafood. Even abandoned cruise ships in the port if the timing is right.

I could have original Picassos hanging in the rooms!

Gbat

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ryde

"Decide what vinyl records to throw at the zombies. #sean_of_the_dead"

I was a zombie in Shaun, and resent the throwing of records!

Shot the last stuff for it 20 years ago... god, how depressing!

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Every time I visit a castle or similar, I scope it out as a possible bolthole, post zombie apocalypse.

The alcazar and castle in Malaga are good. Water, orange trees, easily defendable, good views into the city below for safer raiding.

Lots of seafood. Even abandoned cruise ships in the port if the timing is right.

I could have original Picassos hanging in the rooms!

Gbat "

Ir you could have originals by talented artists instead. I'm pretty sure I could paint a figure and put a nose on the side of the head, add an extra hand etc

I like the castle idea though.

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Make sure you have zombie slaying weapons and a base barricaded off.

Stockpile medicines

Raid any and all food

Don’t trust anyone you don’t know

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"Or you could have originals by talented artists instead. I'm pretty sure I could paint a figure and put a nose on the side of the head, add an extra hand etc. "

But it’s his museum below the castle! Mind you, he did other stuff too, not just sideways noses.

Gbat

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By *wingamajigsCouple
over a year ago

Folkestone

Aleays carry tobasco sauce in case you turn, that way you can flavour anyone you catch. Ketchup also works.

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By *eavilMan
over a year ago

Stalybridge

Try to live next door to vegan zombies and you should be safe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* looks at gun safe * and the deer in the backyard.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"* looks at gun safe * and the deer in the backyard."

Sharpens pointy stick and tells himself Americans are still living in the 18th century.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"* looks at gun safe * and the deer in the backyard.

Sharpens pointy stick and tells himself Americans are still living in the 18th century."
* Looks at the compound bow and the Barnett crossbows*. Safe to say they are there if I run out of ammo.

Pre 18th century.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"* looks at gun safe * and the deer in the backyard.

Sharpens pointy stick and tells himself Americans are still living in the 18th century. * Looks at the compound bow and the Barnett crossbows*. Safe to say they are there if I run out of ammo.

Pre 18th century.

"
All else fails go to the atlaytl.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Start fattening up your husband now so there will be lots of him to eat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Start fattening up your husband now so there will be lots of him to eat. "
I have a better chance with the general public. I tried he doesn't get fat.Damn him

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"* looks at gun safe * and the deer in the backyard.

Sharpens pointy stick and tells himself Americans are still living in the 18th century. * Looks at the compound bow and the Barnett crossbows*. Safe to say they are there if I run out of ammo.

Pre 18th century.

I so want to go hunting with you! Adopt me please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A sexy partner in survival when times get hard get hard lol

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By *partansword78Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

populated areas would be the first areas to be overrun, so get out the city, find a remote spot thats easily defendable. stock up on dried and non perishable foods, learn to live off the land as foods will run out. go scavenging to find tools, weapons etc. you can bet that the govt/military would bomb a city to wipe out a zombie outbreak, so another reason to get out into a remote area.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"populated areas would be the first areas to be overrun, so get out the city, find a remote spot thats easily defendable. stock up on dried and non perishable foods, learn to live off the land as foods will run out. go scavenging to find tools, weapons etc. you can bet that the govt/military would bomb a city to wipe out a zombie outbreak, so another reason to get out into a remote area."
* Country girl can survive "

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By *partansword78Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

country bumpkins can live like kings, they already know how to cultivate the land. winner winner chicken dinner. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In any Apocalypse I’m out … feck all that squabbling over a can of beans to survive. They can eat my flesh with my blessings

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