FabSwingers.com forum: Looking for some advice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…

I’ve been fascinated by the swinging scene for years and participated on many occasions. However this was all pre marriage stuff and I’m now happily married. I’d really love it for my wife to also get involved but just don’t quite know how to approach the subject. Im not sure she would be very keen

You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship

Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're worried about upsetting the relationship by having a discussion with her... how do you think it'll go when she discovers your profile on here ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only way is to have an honest conversation. Tell her that it interests you and ask her what her thoughts are on swinging.

You never know, she may already have a profile on here herself, how good would that be

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I would suggest that if it is important to you, you should talk to your wife about it.

You may not get the reaction you hope for, but you may also not get the reaction you fear.

The forum can't really help any more than that, because we don’t know your wife, and what works for others may not work for you.

Good luck, OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 + 4 = 5

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watch one of those many swinger's "documentaries" on TV together and go "that looks interesting doesn't it?" and gauge her reaction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most turn to cheating when things get a little boring.

At least you've started the marriage as you mean to go on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well to start with op would remove your profile from here as it’s definitely not going to go down well you already being on here pre talk pritty sure the subject would end fast

You can ither pretend you don’t know off this place after have the talk and if it’s a go you can say you found it on Google or something

Or you can say I know a place was on there before I meet you

Maybe gently ease in to it maybe some light harted porn watching together pick 3sums / gangbang porn

And no not the two woman kind i am almost serton she think your only out for your self

Then maybe approach the subject you love to see her get spit roasted by you and another person or watch her with someone else and see what her reaction is

And go from there

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By *inky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…

You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship

Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them

Makes some jokes about it and see how she reacts.

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"Watch one of those many swinger's "documentaries" on TV together and go "that looks interesting doesn't it?" and gauge her reaction."

Oh good advice Joe

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By *ylonseeker2023Man
over a year ago

Harwich

Some great advice so far, and thankfully also from some of the ladies here.

Always a good thing if it comes from the female perspective, albeit we are all individuals and see things in our own unique way.

I would tread carefully though. Just my personal experience.. some of the ladies I was with for quite some years seemed to find the mere idea of swinging something "others" do and yeah, thought it was very wrong. (Not being able to go behind their backs I didn't swing in those periods. Just me, I don't want to be lied to and as such I treat a partner with openness and no deceit.)

That doesn't mean your wife will react like my then partners, however risking your marriage would be disastrous for sure.

I don't know whether this is naughty but maybe catch not only the mood right but broach the subject over a few glasses of wine where inhibitions might fly out of the window...during sex, maybe introduce some fantasies when you are both "well on your way"..

Should your good lady react positively maybe that breaks the ice a little and makes it easier to come back to the subject at a later date?

Has she anyone she fancies, even some well known personality... has she ever pointed out someone she fancies? You might introduce that person and suggest things like"wouldn't you just love him/her to join in now"..

Again, I might get crucified for this idea....if your wife also uses some sex toy WHILST you are intimate, ie 'in her' might that be a moment to suggest a third party joining you? In other words the .. let's say vibrator .... is 'Bob' or the window cleaner or the guy she recently danced with etc etc. ?

I don't know your wife as does anyone else here, but these are the "tactics" I tried. Admittedly, I got nowhere with it but I can only assume the girls just weren't into it.

Good luck.

Oh, by the way, as to you already being on here..

Errr, I leave that to your better judgement!!

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Buy a copy of How to be a Swinger by JD Knight and leave it laying around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Buy a copy of How to be a Swinger by JD Knight and leave it laying around. "

This is actually a good idea haha

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…

You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship

Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them

"
The problem is she'd leave you now if she knew you were on here and she'd probably leave you if you introduced her to this side of your life so I'd continue being in a happy marriage if i were you, its not for everyone

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

Next time you have sex with her and your both talking dirty just say stuff like..id like to see you get fucked by another man,but say it jokely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…

You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship

Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them

The problem is she'd leave you now if she knew you were on here and she'd probably leave you if you introduced her to this side of your life so I'd continue being in a happy marriage if i were you, its not for everyone

Yea, this is the definition of a "happy" marriage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…

You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship

Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them

I think your already ready to play behind her back, judging from you being on here and flaunting your girthy member

So why are you worried about upsetting her?

Because let’s be honest, you’re not worried about upsetting her. You’re worried about getting caught. If you truly didn’t want to upset her you wouldn’t be on here like you are

Personally I think you should tell her the truth then end the marriage and let her find someone that wants to love and cherish her, not slump around behind her back

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

Im not sure your a swinger,I think you just want sex on the side and your using the term swinger to justify it to yourself

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Op sit and have an open conversation with your wife ,we don't know her & what her reaction will be ,you probably have an idea.

Tell her you've got fantasies and wanted to know if she could join you in them .Watch a swinging program together if she will ,see what it's all about.

If she says no though ,will you still remain on fab and will you meet others behind her back?.If so be careful as if she gets an idea you're already on a swinging site,you could lose her.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…

You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship

Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them

When you say you participated what do you mean? Explored through clubs etc or just hooking up in hotels

What is it that you want, be clear first and foremost. Just hooking up with others or actually getting in involved in swinging lifestyle?

Talk to your wife, open and honestly about it, he upfront none of this trying to get her involved cohertly, that's not fair

And think about what would happen if she said yes, what would you want? Just because she said yes doesn't mean you get to organise the 10 men gang bang.

If she says yes it needs to be on her terms, listen to her and I mean listen to her. No pressure

Have you thought about what if happens if she says no? Your reactions and her expectations....Would you keep on with Fab and explore without her or give up the scene completely....could you? Would you?

I think you have a lot of thinking first...People dive into this stuff without exploring what the consequences might be or the feelings involved

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By *inkyFoxxxisCouple
over a year ago

Northwich

[Removed by poster at 17/10/23 11:51:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happily married, yeah...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I really feel for you O.P.

You want to shag other people and yet you are hitched to this bloody woman who you suspect doesn't want to fuck around with other people.

I think you were VERY right to be secretive about your past to her. Hysterical bitches women are. All over nothing too.

I think you should just shag away till your nob drops off and if she finds out ..... do the usual and tell her it was her fault.

Thanks for sharing xxx

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By *ily massageMan
over a year ago

teesside/newcastle

"The only way is to have an honest conversation. Tell her that it interests you and ask her what her thoughts are on swinging.

You never know, she may already have a profile on here herself, how good would that be

"
especially if she has had more cock ends than weekends hahahahaha

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Im not sure your a swinger,I think you just want sex on the side and your using the term swinger to justify it to yourself "

As do sooooooooo many others

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I really feel for you O.P.

You want to shag other people and yet you are hitched to this bloody woman who you suspect doesn't want to fuck around with other people.

I think you were VERY right to be secretive about your past to her. Hysterical bitches women are. All over nothing too.

I think you should just shag away till your nob drops off and if she finds out ..... do the usual and tell her it was her fault.

Thanks for sharing xxx "

Sometimes Granny, I really fucking feel you

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Just have the conversation, maybe watch something together like open house on channel 4 and use that to start the conversation.

Personally for me swinging requires a huge amount of trust and communication if you don't have either then I wouldn't bother.

Mrs

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"I really feel for you O.P.

You want to shag other people and yet you are hitched to this bloody woman who you suspect doesn't want to fuck around with other people.

I think you were VERY right to be secretive about your past to her. Hysterical bitches women are. All over nothing too.

I think you should just shag away till your nob drops off and if she finds out ..... do the usual and tell her it was her fault.

Thanks for sharing xxx "

Spot on, thread closed.

Mrs

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

The only reason your happily married is because your wife is clueless about you being on a site like this flaunting your knob around looking for sex..

I’d probably be more pissed off that my husband was asking advice to a bunch of strangers then having a conversation with me himself I would leave him just for that .

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…

You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship

Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them

I have to say, your wife's not aware your on here I'm presuming by what you've shared, you've got a username like you have, which suggests your looking for bareback, so I'm guessing you sleep protected with your wife, to protect her from all those nasty little illnesses that are out there......try doing the right fucking thing either have a conversation with the wife and be honest, or have a serious word with yourself about what you're actually up to, and the possible ramifications to your behaviour, foe yourself and others.....

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