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….So, I’ve invited you all around to my place for a meal cooked lovingly by my own fair hand and an evening of fine social discourse.
Possibly against your better judgement, you all agree to come.
Great! Anyhoo…..
The evening is actually going really well and you’re having a really rather pleasant time, chatting amongst yourselves….until I present you with your food that is.
See, I’m a really piss poor cook and upon even merely looking at the dog shit like apparition you observe in consternation that I am serving before you, you just know it’s going to taste even bloody worse!
The Question;
Which of the following do you opt for:
1. Be polite and eat it all whilst trying with all your very being, not to vomit.
2. Divert my attention before emptying the food into your pockets and hand bags.
3. Divert another members attention and empty your plate onto theirs.
4. Feign a sudden, severe illness and fall upon the floor in a fit of histrionic convulsions.
5. Tell me the truth before leaving in abject disgust: ‘My good man, this tastes like utter shit!’
6 Something else (please describe)
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"Tell you the truth. Suggest we order a takeaway instead and console you with a bj while we wait for it to arrive x" Winner!   | |||
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"Tell you the truth. Suggest we order a takeaway instead and console you with a bj while we wait for it to arrive x Winner! "Yay! What do I win? | |||
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"Tell you the truth. Suggest we order a takeaway instead and console you with a bj while we wait for it to arrive x Winner!
Yay! What do I win?"My sincere gratitude for starters  (and a doggy bag of my meal which you may use against any enemies you may have) | |||
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"Tell you the truth. Suggest we order a takeaway instead and console you with a bj while we wait for it to arrive x Winner!
Yay! What do I win?
My sincere gratitude for starters (and a doggy bag of my meal which you may use against any enemies you may have) "That abomination will need burying underground a lead box  | |||
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"Do you have a dog? I would be feeding it to the dog stealthily If you don't have a dog may I bring my dog?" My poor pooch  She has some standards you know… | |||
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"Do you have a dog? I would be feeding it to the dog stealthily If you don't have a dog may I bring my dog? My poor pooch She has some standards you know… "I shall save her the hardship and take her out for sausages | |||
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"6 - go in the kitchen & make something edible." Could you rustle something up for me to whilst you’re there please? This stuff tastes ghastly… | |||
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"I have a weird thing about people making food for me. As in I hate it. So I'd probably throw up a little in my mouth look at you with absolute contempt and utter some expletives as I leave. Then I'd call at Macdonald's on the way home." | |||
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"I have a weird thing about people making food for me. As in I hate it. So I'd probably throw up a little in my mouth look at you with absolute contempt and utter some expletives as I leave. Then I'd call at Macdonald's on the way home." I’ll probably be in the queue ahead of you; I mean, you surely didn’t think I’d eat that stuff I served up, right? | |||
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"6 - go in the kitchen & make something edible. Could you rustle something up for me to whilst you’re there please? This stuff tastes ghastly… "It was always for everyone
Jeez I’m not as selfish as popular belief | |||
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" Literally laugh it off commending your efforts to try and then hit up just eat options like I'm surfing for porn. Let the evening continue whilst we wait with the odd piss taking out of you as we go What an awesome evening thanks for your hospitality xxx" That’s both a kind and fair method I think; I like it | |||
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"Tell you the truth. Suggest we order a takeaway instead and console you with a bj while we wait for it to arrive x Winner!
Yay! What do I win?
My sincere gratitude for starters (and a doggy bag of my meal which you may use against any enemies you may have)
That abomination will need burying underground a lead box " With a, ‘Danger: hazardous waste’ sign stuck onto a board above it | |||
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"Tell you the truth. Suggest we order a takeaway instead and console you with a bj while we wait for it to arrive x" Can I interest you in a meal? Lol | |||
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"1 ... I was brought up to eat what was given to me lol" Bless you; It is an honourable deed you perform (I’m supplying vomit bags along with the main course) | |||
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"6 - go in the kitchen & make something edible. Could you rustle something up for me to whilst you’re there please? This stuff tastes ghastly…
It was always for everyone
Jeez I’m not as selfish as popular belief " | |||
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"Ey up good folks
….So, I’ve invited you all around to my place for a meal cooked lovingly by my own fair hand and an evening of fine social discourse.
Possibly against your better judgement, you all agree to come.
Great! Anyhoo…..
The evening is actually going really well and you’re having a really rather pleasant time, chatting amongst yourselves….until I present you with your food that is.
See, I’m a really piss poor cook and upon even merely looking at the dog shit like apparition you observe in consternation that I am serving before you, you just know it’s going to taste even bloody worse!
The Question;
Which of the following do you opt for:
1. Be polite and eat it all whilst trying with all your very being, not to vomit.
2. Divert my attention before emptying the food into your pockets and hand bags.
3. Divert another members attention and empty your plate onto theirs.
4. Feign a sudden, severe illness and fall upon the floor in a fit of histrionic convulsions.
5. Tell me the truth before leaving in abject disgust: ‘My good man, this tastes like utter shit!’
6 Something else (please describe)
"Something that doesn't leave you feeling like shit. I am a really good cock. I would hope you could take some gentle pisstake before we order some pizza or something. | |||
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"Ey up good folks
….So, I’ve invited you all around to my place for a meal cooked lovingly by my own fair hand and an evening of fine social discourse.
Possibly against your better judgement, you all agree to come.
Great! Anyhoo…..
The evening is actually going really well and you’re having a really rather pleasant time, chatting amongst yourselves….until I present you with your food that is.
See, I’m a really piss poor cook and upon even merely looking at the dog shit like apparition you observe in consternation that I am serving before you, you just know it’s going to taste even bloody worse!
The Question;
Which of the following do you opt for:
1. Be polite and eat it all whilst trying with all your very being, not to vomit.
2. Divert my attention before emptying the food into your pockets and hand bags.
3. Divert another members attention and empty your plate onto theirs.
4. Feign a sudden, severe illness and fall upon the floor in a fit of histrionic convulsions.
5. Tell me the truth before leaving in abject disgust: ‘My good man, this tastes like utter shit!’
6 Something else (please describe)
Something that doesn't leave you feeling like shit. I am a really good cock. I would hope you could take some gentle pisstake before we order some pizza or something. "I meant cook! Of course, I did! | |||
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"Ey up good folks
….So, I’ve invited you all around to my place for a meal cooked lovingly by my own fair hand and an evening of fine social discourse.
Possibly against your better judgement, you all agree to come.
Great! Anyhoo…..
The evening is actually going really well and you’re having a really rather pleasant time, chatting amongst yourselves….until I present you with your food that is.
See, I’m a really piss poor cook and upon even merely looking at the dog shit like apparition you observe in consternation that I am serving before you, you just know it’s going to taste even bloody worse!
The Question;
Which of the following do you opt for:
1. Be polite and eat it all whilst trying with all your very being, not to vomit.
2. Divert my attention before emptying the food into your pockets and hand bags.
3. Divert another members attention and empty your plate onto theirs.
4. Feign a sudden, severe illness and fall upon the floor in a fit of histrionic convulsions.
5. Tell me the truth before leaving in abject disgust: ‘My good man, this tastes like utter shit!’
6 Something else (please describe)
Something that doesn't leave you feeling like shit. I am a really good cock. I would hope you could take some gentle pisstake before we order some pizza or something. "Quite the typo there! | |||
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"Tell you the truth. Suggest we order a takeaway instead and console you with a bj while we wait for it to arrive x" and gentle | |||
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"1 ... I was brought up to eat what was given to me lol Bless you; It is an honourable deed you perform (I’m supplying vomit bags along with the main course) " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Ey up good folks
….So, I’ve invited you all around to my place for a meal cooked lovingly by my own fair hand and an evening of fine social discourse.
Possibly against your better judgement, you all agree to come.
Great! Anyhoo…..
The evening is actually going really well and you’re having a really rather pleasant time, chatting amongst yourselves….until I present you with your food that is.
See, I’m a really piss poor cook and upon even merely looking at the dog shit like apparition you observe in consternation that I am serving before you, you just know it’s going to taste even bloody worse!
The Question;
Which of the following do you opt for:
1. Be polite and eat it all whilst trying with all your very being, not to vomit.
2. Divert my attention before emptying the food into your pockets and hand bags.
3. Divert another members attention and empty your plate onto theirs.
4. Feign a sudden, severe illness and fall upon the floor in a fit of histrionic convulsions.
5. Tell me the truth before leaving in abject disgust: ‘My good man, this tastes like utter shit!’
6 Something else (please describe)
Something that doesn't leave you feeling like shit. I am a really good cock. I would hope you could take some gentle pisstake before we order some pizza or something.
Quite the typo there! "Brilliant! I noticed. | |||
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"Ey up good folks
….So, I’ve invited you all around to my place for a meal cooked lovingly by my own fair hand and an evening of fine social discourse.
Possibly against your better judgement, you all agree to come.
Great! Anyhoo…..
The evening is actually going really well and you’re having a really rather pleasant time, chatting amongst yourselves….until I present you with your food that is.
See, I’m a really piss poor cook and upon even merely looking at the dog shit like apparition you observe in consternation that I am serving before you, you just know it’s going to taste even bloody worse!
The Question;
Which of the following do you opt for:
1. Be polite and eat it all whilst trying with all your very being, not to vomit.
2. Divert my attention before emptying the food into your pockets and hand bags.
3. Divert another members attention and empty your plate onto theirs.
4. Feign a sudden, severe illness and fall upon the floor in a fit of histrionic convulsions.
5. Tell me the truth before leaving in abject disgust: ‘My good man, this tastes like utter shit!’
6 Something else (please describe)
Something that doesn't leave you feeling like shit. I am a really good cock. I would hope you could take some gentle pisstake before we order some pizza or something.
Quite the typo there!
Brilliant! I noticed. "Lol | |||
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"6 - go in the kitchen & make something edible. Could you rustle something up for me to whilst you’re there please? This stuff tastes ghastly…
It was always for everyone
Jeez I’m not as selfish as popular belief
"Wouldn't we all know that it was going to be bad? I've been to those dinners. | |||
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"Ey up good folks
….So, I’ve invited you all around to my place for a meal cooked lovingly by my own fair hand and an evening of fine social discourse.
Possibly against your better judgement, you all agree to come.
Great! Anyhoo…..
The evening is actually going really well and you’re having a really rather pleasant time, chatting amongst yourselves….until I present you with your food that is.
See, I’m a really piss poor cook and upon even merely looking at the dog shit like apparition you observe in consternation that I am serving before you, you just know it’s going to taste even bloody worse!
The Question;
Which of the following do you opt for:
1. Be polite and eat it all whilst trying with all your very being, not to vomit.
2. Divert my attention before emptying the food into your pockets and hand bags.
3. Divert another members attention and empty your plate onto theirs.
4. Feign a sudden, severe illness and fall upon the floor in a fit of histrionic convulsions.
5. Tell me the truth before leaving in abject disgust: ‘My good man, this tastes like utter shit!’
6 Something else (please describe)
Something that doesn't leave you feeling like shit. I am a really good cock. I would hope you could take some gentle pisstake before we order some pizza or something. "That’s very kind Could you give me some cooking lessons to please? | |||
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"Ey up good folks
….So, I’ve invited you all around to my place for a meal cooked lovingly by my own fair hand and an evening of fine social discourse.
Possibly against your better judgement, you all agree to come.
Great! Anyhoo…..
The evening is actually going really well and you’re having a really rather pleasant time, chatting amongst yourselves….until I present you with your food that is.
See, I’m a really piss poor cook and upon even merely looking at the dog shit like apparition you observe in consternation that I am serving before you, you just know it’s going to taste even bloody worse!
The Question;
Which of the following do you opt for:
1. Be polite and eat it all whilst trying with all your very being, not to vomit.
2. Divert my attention before emptying the food into your pockets and hand bags.
3. Divert another members attention and empty your plate onto theirs.
4. Feign a sudden, severe illness and fall upon the floor in a fit of histrionic convulsions.
5. Tell me the truth before leaving in abject disgust: ‘My good man, this tastes like utter shit!’
6 Something else (please describe)
Something that doesn't leave you feeling like shit. I am a really good cock. I would hope you could take some gentle pisstake before we order some pizza or something.
I meant cook! Of course, I did!" | |||
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"1 ... I was brought up to eat what was given to me lol Bless you; It is an honourable deed you perform (I’m supplying vomit bags along with the main course) "True. There is hardly anything that I can't eat! Certainly, I never spit out anything! | |||
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"I'd tell you it's a crock of shit and you should be ashamed "  Can you take a doggy bag? The council are refusing to take my food bin whilst this is in it…. | |||
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"Drink more wine (I’d have brought lots, I’m an excellent guest) and say I have allergies which technically I do, just not to atrocious cooking. " I find that red wine is the answer to most things. | |||
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"Drink more wine (I’d have brought lots, I’m an excellent guest) and say I have allergies which technically I do, just not to atrocious cooking. " A while lot of wine will be requisite to wash away the aftertaste of this meal.
….a few barrels full in fact… | |||
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"1 ... I was brought up to eat what was given to me lol Bless you; It is an honourable deed you perform (I’m supplying vomit bags along with the main course)
True. There is hardly anything that I can't eat! Certainly, I never spit out anything!"With my cooking, I wholeheartedly recommend the age old trick of pinching one’s nose to muffle ones sense of taste. It’s almost bearable that way… | |||
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"It would have to be pretty shit for me not to eat it to be fair but If it was really that bad I’d first express gratitude for your effort and being kind enough to invite over and make us some bait but say that’s fucking liftin I cannit eat that then go to the nearest Chinese " I’ll be there first having fleed my own party in utter shame and humiliation at my culinary output | |||
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"Drink more wine (I’d have brought lots, I’m an excellent guest) and say I have allergies which technically I do, just not to atrocious cooking. A while lot of wine will be requisite to wash away the aftertaste of this meal.
….a few barrels full in fact… "Count me in lol | |||
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"Drink more wine (I’d have brought lots, I’m an excellent guest) and say I have allergies which technically I do, just not to atrocious cooking. A while lot of wine will be requisite to wash away the aftertaste of this meal.
….a few barrels full in fact…
Count me in lol"I think I will just put a call in to Majestic, they deliver ! | |||
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"Drink more wine (I’d have brought lots, I’m an excellent guest) and say I have allergies which technically I do, just not to atrocious cooking. A while lot of wine will be requisite to wash away the aftertaste of this meal.
….a few barrels full in fact…
Count me in lol"We shall drink our taste buds out of commission | |||
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"Bad cooks are painful. So painful. Politely smiling whilst fighting the urge to vomit isn't for me. So... I'll happily teach you how to cook a meal of your choosing OP, I'll provide the dessert as well. "Thank you I shall indeed savour the dessert… | |||
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"Drink more wine (I’d have brought lots, I’m an excellent guest) and say I have allergies which technically I do, just not to atrocious cooking. A while lot of wine will be requisite to wash away the aftertaste of this meal.
….a few barrels full in fact…
Count me in lol
We shall drink our taste buds out of commission "Excellent!  | |||
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