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"I love feelings and talking about feelings. " Whaaaaat? No. Really? You? But but but, you're so stoic and reserved. | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings? Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense?" I told someone once how I felt... never again... | |||
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"I love feelings and talking about feelings. Whaaaaat? No. Really? You? But but but, you're so stoic and reserved. " Redefining Black Masculinity. That’s the title of my memoirs | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings? Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense?" Find it really hard (unless I am clearly the boss). Only done it in earnest once and she married me. | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings? Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense? I told someone once how I felt... never again... " Sorry to hear that. Wrong person! | |||
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"Generally middling to bad. Rarely. Yes. Much easier. " What do you do if you meet a middling to bad person at it? Just wait it out or cock it up simultaneously? | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings? Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense? I told someone once how I felt... never again... Sorry to hear that. Wrong person!" Well not to me he wasn't.... | |||
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"Generally middling to bad. Rarely. Yes. Much easier. What do you do if you meet a middling to bad person at it? Just wait it out or cock it up simultaneously?" Pretty much, yup. If I really like them it’ll bring out the middling side of me so it only takes months instead of decades. | |||
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"I don’t think it’s ever easy for fear of rejection but tomorrow’s never promised so if you fancy someone say something or risk a life of thinking what if " I think fear of rejection is a big thing, especially on here. I do think people should say fuck it far more. I don't think no's are necessarily the end of the world. | |||
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"I think talk is cheap, actions matter I’ve had women say they fancy me then make zero effort I’ve had women seem uninterested for years before finally saying they’ve fancied me for ages Words are cheap. If I fancy you, you’ll know through my actions " I'm a fan of this approach | |||
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"I jump straight in and tell them....if it's in my head then it's coming out of my mouth " same boat. Gotten into trouble too many times about it tho ;/ | |||
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"It really depends. I've been pretty open with people in the past but often it's just been used as a tool to get what they want from me. I'd like to think I am selective enough with people now that if I was to have those conversations they would respond with kindness. I'd likely talk myself out of it many times though first and probably say something at the wrong moment completely. " Me. But I can't dig myself out of my hole... so lucky u xD | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings? Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense?" | |||
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"I absolutely love when people speak directly to me! I can then reciprocate. Speaking about feelings? Never. Only with husband. Otherwise, it's like getting blood out of a stone. Started to think about making first move recently..." Go FOR It! From a shy ish guy like me who's only just getting used to opening up and being risky. It's a confidence booster and moral booster every so all haha | |||
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"Tell them. Balls in their court now, no longer my problem. It's out there. Can't put it back in the box. " Did that once ...made a complete idiot of myself.... | |||
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"Tell them. Balls in their court now, no longer my problem. It's out there. Can't put it back in the box. Did that once ...made a complete idiot of myself.... " Same. Get over it after about a year or 2 xD | |||
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"Tell them. Balls in their court now, no longer my problem. It's out there. Can't put it back in the box. Did that once ...made a complete idiot of myself.... " Do it anyway. Say it then walk away. They either feel the same, in which case it's on them for the next move, or they don't and nothing changes - fallout is generally on their part. If they make fun of or have you feeling silly then it's just reinforcement that they are a shitty person and better off not with them. | |||
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"Tell them. Balls in their court now, no longer my problem. It's out there. Can't put it back in the box. Did that once ...made a complete idiot of myself.... Do it anyway. Say it then walk away. They either feel the same, in which case it's on them for the next move, or they don't and nothing changes - fallout is generally on their part. If they make fun of or have you feeling silly then it's just reinforcement that they are a shitty person and better off not with them. " Let's just the mental toll making a fool of myself had on me was very very bad... went on a very sharp downward spiral... | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings? Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense? I told someone once how I felt... never again... " In that case .. FAF ? | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings? Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense?" On here? I find the "I fancy you" easy. I am much less good at the deeper relationship stuff and in a dating situation will likely wait until I'm *really* sure before making a move. I'm not a natural talker about feelings. I like direct people! I may react like a clutz, but I still appreciate it. | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings? Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense? I told someone once how I felt... never again... In that case .. FAF ? " Yeah why not lol | |||
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"Tell them. Balls in their court now, no longer my problem. It's out there. Can't put it back in the box. Did that once ...made a complete idiot of myself.... Do it anyway. Say it then walk away. They either feel the same, in which case it's on them for the next move, or they don't and nothing changes - fallout is generally on their part. If they make fun of or have you feeling silly then it's just reinforcement that they are a shitty person and better off not with them. Let's just the mental toll making a fool of myself had on me was very very bad... went on a very sharp downward spiral..." I get that, and have been there though I can't say to that extreme. However having, in the past, missed out on things because I said nothing to those I felt strongly about I'll never not tell somebody I like them again. Especially when it doesn't really happen all that often anyway. | |||
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"Tell them. Balls in their court now, no longer my problem. It's out there. Can't put it back in the box. Did that once ...made a complete idiot of myself.... Do it anyway. Say it then walk away. They either feel the same, in which case it's on them for the next move, or they don't and nothing changes - fallout is generally on their part. If they make fun of or have you feeling silly then it's just reinforcement that they are a shitty person and better off not with them. Let's just the mental toll making a fool of myself had on me was very very bad... went on a very sharp downward spiral... I get that, and have been there though I can't say to that extreme. However having, in the past, missed out on things because I said nothing to those I felt strongly about I'll never not tell somebody I like them again. Especially when it doesn't really happen all that often anyway." Fair enough... get back on the horse so to speak lol | |||
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"I absolutely love when people speak directly to me! I can then reciprocate. Speaking about feelings? Never. Only with husband. Otherwise, it's like getting blood out of a stone. Started to think about making first move recently... Go FOR It! From a shy ish guy like me who's only just getting used to opening up and being risky. It's a confidence booster and moral booster every so all haha" Haha I'll get there, in a few weeks | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? " Pretty decent. Though I don't always do it for fear of making the other person uncomfortable. I rarely feel like I dread feelings .it doesn't always work out by feelings are fun. "Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings?" Yes again I might hesitate if I think that they won't be able to say no if they are not interested or if I think they will feel uncomfortable. "Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense?" Fuck yes. Love it. Honesty doesn't feel intense. If it feels like they are trying to persuade me then I find that intense. But just saying how you feel? Bring it on! | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings? Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense? I told someone once how I felt... never again... In that case .. FAF ? Yeah why not lol " I'm glad you agree | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings? Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense? I told someone once how I felt... never again... In that case .. FAF ? Yeah why not lol I'm glad you agree " | |||
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"Tell them. Balls in their court now, no longer my problem. It's out there. Can't put it back in the box. Did that once ...made a complete idiot of myself.... Do it anyway. Say it then walk away. They either feel the same, in which case it's on them for the next move, or they don't and nothing changes - fallout is generally on their part. If they make fun of or have you feeling silly then it's just reinforcement that they are a shitty person and better off not with them. Let's just the mental toll making a fool of myself had on me was very very bad... went on a very sharp downward spiral... I get that, and have been there though I can't say to that extreme. However having, in the past, missed out on things because I said nothing to those I felt strongly about I'll never not tell somebody I like them again. Especially when it doesn't really happen all that often anyway. Fair enough... get back on the horse so to speak lol" Sort of! Bit more too it but yes | |||
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"Tell them. Balls in their court now, no longer my problem. It's out there. Can't put it back in the box. Did that once ...made a complete idiot of myself.... Do it anyway. Say it then walk away. They either feel the same, in which case it's on them for the next move, or they don't and nothing changes - fallout is generally on their part. If they make fun of or have you feeling silly then it's just reinforcement that they are a shitty person and better off not with them. Let's just the mental toll making a fool of myself had on me was very very bad... went on a very sharp downward spiral... I get that, and have been there though I can't say to that extreme. However having, in the past, missed out on things because I said nothing to those I felt strongly about I'll never not tell somebody I like them again. Especially when it doesn't really happen all that often anyway. Fair enough... get back on the horse so to speak lol Sort of! Bit more too it but yes " Lol | |||
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"When it comes to telling someone how you feel about them, whether it's fancying them, growing/having the dreaded "feelings" for them etc; how good are you at it? Do you feel comfortable making that first move? Speaking up about your feelings? Do you prefer people to be direct with you or do you ever find it a bit intense?" I don't make the first move, and I don't have words to talk about feelings. When I'm asked about them the best I've got is "fine". | |||
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"I don't really want to talk about feelings until it's definitely actually a friendship that's passing the test of some time and lots of time spent together in different situations. Any feelings chat before that point is just going to make me run/distance myself. Then I'm probably still a bit reluctant. But I'm very caring and giving so I hope that shows my feelings more than words could anyway. " This. I'm very relationship averse at the moment and probably will be for a long while. But good friends? Yep. Bring it on. And as for being direct about fancying someone? No. I'm shit at that. To the extent I'll carry on as if it was purely a social meeting even when someone is lying stark naked next to me.... | |||
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"Please excuse my typos. It's been a real problem today. My CFS is a bitch." Hugs x | |||
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"Please excuse my typos. It's been a real problem today. My CFS is a bitch." Ah don't worry about typos! Honestly, I couldn't give a fuck as long as I can understand/be understood so you shouldn't worry about it either. I hope the CFS is more manageable today for you, x | |||
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"Yeah say it how it is. I’m a man who likes to know where he stands, people who pussyfoot about drive me insane. What’s the worst that can happen ? They say no, oh no end of the world . The mr " You have the security of knowing that someone loves you. That surely makes a "rejection" of any kind somewhat easier to take. But it's not a position everyone is in. | |||
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"Yeah say it how it is. I’m a man who likes to know where he stands, people who pussyfoot about drive me insane. What’s the worst that can happen ? They say no, oh no end of the world . The mr You have the security of knowing that someone loves you. That surely makes a "rejection" of any kind somewhat easier to take. But it's not a position everyone is in." I’d be the exact same if I was single, if you don’t ask you’ll never know. I’d rather know than do my own head thinking about it. The mr | |||
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"Yeah say it how it is. I’m a man who likes to know where he stands, people who pussyfoot about drive me insane. What’s the worst that can happen ? They say no, oh no end of the world . The mr You have the security of knowing that someone loves you. That surely makes a "rejection" of any kind somewhat easier to take. But it's not a position everyone is in. I’d be the exact same if I was single, if you don’t ask you’ll never know. I’d rather know than do my own head thinking about it. The mr " Maybe | |||
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". And as for being direct about fancying someone? No. I'm shit at that. To the extent I'll carry on as if it was purely a social meeting even when someone is lying stark naked next to me.... " Let’s hope you meet the good at being direct people then | |||
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"Yeah say it how it is. I’m a man who likes to know where he stands, people who pussyfoot about drive me insane. What’s the worst that can happen ? They say no, oh no end of the world . The mr You have the security of knowing that someone loves you. That surely makes a "rejection" of any kind somewhat easier to take. But it's not a position everyone is in." It really doesn't | |||
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