FabSwingers.com forum: Friend sharing pics with other people... what would you do?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was chatting about our ex male work colleague with a male friend.

Male friend says, "oh he has a girlfriend now!" (Good news, ex colleague is a nice guy)

Friend shows me pic of ex colleague's girlfriend.

Me: "Aww!"

.... Male friend then shows me a pic of same woman in just her lingerie.

Me:

So ex colleague is sending pics of his girlfriend in her lingerie to other men. And male friend is showing these pics to other people.

What would you do?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

As the person being shown the pics I'd tell them they are being disrespectful to the woman, if she's unaware those pics are being shared.

I'd also ask the person showing me why they think I'd want to see photos like that?

They would get short shrift from me.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'd tell them they were out of order and that kind of thing is illegal.

I would also be tempted to find the woman and let her know her photos are being shared to all and sundry.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

And if I knew the ex gf I'd tell her her photos are now the talk of the office courtesy of whoever showed them to me.

Although, I'm assuming said person felt comfortable enough with me to share them so we must be quite close, but I'd still reprimand them and tell them it's not on.

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Had the same with the guy of a couple showing mates pictures of Y after we'd played..

She had no issue, I did! A big red flag.. Their no longer together which speaks volumes.. Mr

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By *oot toyMan
over a year ago

Portchester

I’m not sure how’d I react but that is seriously wrong

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And if I knew the ex gf I'd tell her her photos are now the talk of the office courtesy of whoever showed them to me.

Although, I'm assuming said person felt comfortable enough with me to share them so we must be quite close, but I'd still reprimand them and tell them it's not on."

I don't know the woman so can't warn her.

My male friend is close to me but the pics weren't even his to share.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd tell them they were out of order and that kind of thing is illegal.

I would also be tempted to find the woman and let her know her photos are being shared to all and sundry."

I would have let her know if it was someone I know. It's shit and her 'nice guy' boyfriend is a disrespectful ***.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'd tell him/her they were out if order and suggest they delete the photos.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Had the same with the guy of a couple showing mates pictures of Y after we'd played..

She had no issue, I did! A big red flag.. Their no longer together which speaks volumes.. Mr"

Maybe he was doing the same with everyone they played with.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I'd ask if she knows. She might be fine with it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m not sure how’d I react but that is seriously wrong "

I wonder if it's more difficult for men. A woman can say it's bad, don't do it. But a man would be called a snowflake or something for complaining.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd tell him/her they were out if order and suggest they delete the photos."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was chatting about our ex male work colleague with a male friend.

Male friend says, "oh he has a girlfriend now!" (Good news, ex colleague is a nice guy)

Friend shows me pic of ex colleague's girlfriend.

Me: "Aww!"

.... Male friend then shows me a pic of same woman in just her lingerie.

Me:

So ex colleague is sending pics of his girlfriend in her lingerie to other men. And male friend is showing these pics to other people.

What would you do? "

id say he doesn't really care respect or value his gf nor does he understand what consent is

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd ask if she knows. She might be fine with it. "

Fair point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was chatting about our ex male work colleague with a male friend.

Male friend says, "oh he has a girlfriend now!" (Good news, ex colleague is a nice guy)

Friend shows me pic of ex colleague's girlfriend.

Me: "Aww!"

.... Male friend then shows me a pic of same woman in just her lingerie.

Me:

So ex colleague is sending pics of his girlfriend in her lingerie to other men. And male friend is showing these pics to other people.

What would you do?

id say he doesn't really care respect or value his gf nor does he understand what consent is"

Yeah my male friend is no longer a friend. Thankfully I won't see the ex colleague again.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I'd ask if she knows. She might be fine with it. "

How about if the person being shown pictures of a woman they don't know in her lingerie isn't fine with it?

In this context why would I want to look at an unknown woman's lingerie photos?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish this behaviour was shocking.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I wish this behaviour was shocking. "

Yep me too.

Women also show pictures of their boyfriends in their boxers apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wish this behaviour was shocking.

Yep me too.

Women also show pictures of their boyfriends in their boxers apparently "

Yep. Also not surprising.

People love to brag about their partners as if they’re an object to show off. Like a trophy!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I wish this behaviour was shocking.

Yep me too.

Women also show pictures of their boyfriends in their boxers apparently

Yep. Also not surprising.

People love to brag about their partners as if they’re an object to show off. Like a trophy!"

There's a line isn't there. I have an exhibitionist streak and am more than happy to be photographed and have people look at those images as long as I agree the terms.

It's the apparent lack of consent here and friend of a friend nature that I find distasteful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wish this behaviour was shocking.

Yep me too.

Women also show pictures of their boyfriends in their boxers apparently

Yep. Also not surprising.

People love to brag about their partners as if they’re an object to show off. Like a trophy!

There's a line isn't there. I have an exhibitionist streak and am more than happy to be photographed and have people look at those images as long as I agree the terms.

It's the apparent lack of consent here and friend of a friend nature that I find distasteful "

Absolutely. If I share a picture with my partner that’s who I have consented to see it. For them to then share it with someone else who also then shares it? Completely out of order

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By *adtaffladMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

So distasteful and wrong and he would be given a piece of my mind

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"I wish this behaviour was shocking.

Yep me too.

Women also show pictures of their boyfriends in their boxers apparently

Yep. Also not surprising.

People love to brag about their partners as if they’re an object to show off. Like a trophy!

There's a line isn't there. I have an exhibitionist streak and am more than happy to be photographed and have people look at those images as long as I agree the terms.

It's the apparent lack of consent here and friend of a friend nature that I find distasteful

Absolutely. If I share a picture with my partner that’s who I have consented to see it. For them to then share it with someone else who also then shares it? Completely out of order "
,,, this

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I wish this behaviour was shocking.

Yep me too.

Women also show pictures of their boyfriends in their boxers apparently

Yep. Also not surprising.

People love to brag about their partners as if they’re an object to show off. Like a trophy!

There's a line isn't there. I have an exhibitionist streak and am more than happy to be photographed and have people look at those images as long as I agree the terms.

It's the apparent lack of consent here and friend of a friend nature that I find distasteful

Absolutely. If I share a picture with my partner that’s who I have consented to see it. For them to then share it with someone else who also then shares it? Completely out of order "

In the interests of fairness she might have said she was happy for all and sundry to see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wish this behaviour was shocking.

Yep me too.

Women also show pictures of their boyfriends in their boxers apparently

Yep. Also not surprising.

People love to brag about their partners as if they’re an object to show off. Like a trophy!

There's a line isn't there. I have an exhibitionist streak and am more than happy to be photographed and have people look at those images as long as I agree the terms.

It's the apparent lack of consent here and friend of a friend nature that I find distasteful

Absolutely. If I share a picture with my partner that’s who I have consented to see it. For them to then share it with someone else who also then shares it? Completely out of order

In the interests of fairness she might have said she was happy for all and sundry to see it. "

Could have. Also maybe they didn’t.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I wish this behaviour was shocking.

Yep me too.

Women also show pictures of their boyfriends in their boxers apparently

Yep. Also not surprising.

People love to brag about their partners as if they’re an object to show off. Like a trophy!

There's a line isn't there. I have an exhibitionist streak and am more than happy to be photographed and have people look at those images as long as I agree the terms.

It's the apparent lack of consent here and friend of a friend nature that I find distasteful

Absolutely. If I share a picture with my partner that’s who I have consented to see it. For them to then share it with someone else who also then shares it? Completely out of order

In the interests of fairness she might have said she was happy for all and sundry to see it.

Could have. Also maybe they didn’t. "

Yes but I might be Judge Judy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wish this behaviour was shocking.

Yep me too.

Women also show pictures of their boyfriends in their boxers apparently

Yep. Also not surprising.

People love to brag about their partners as if they’re an object to show off. Like a trophy!

There's a line isn't there. I have an exhibitionist streak and am more than happy to be photographed and have people look at those images as long as I agree the terms.

It's the apparent lack of consent here and friend of a friend nature that I find distasteful

Absolutely. If I share a picture with my partner that’s who I have consented to see it. For them to then share it with someone else who also then shares it? Completely out of order

In the interests of fairness she might have said she was happy for all and sundry to see it.

Could have. Also maybe they didn’t.

Yes but I might be Judge Judy."

Nice try. I know you’re not

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

This is the main reason I don't send naked photos or allow cameras during sex.

People promise it's just for them, but people break promises.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We met a couple once and he had a naked photo of her as his phone background. She said she'd asked him to take it off but he said he liked it and didn't mind his friends and colleagues seeing it. That was a huge ted flag that both of us actually missed at the time

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Ted flag?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is he showing you in her lingerie?

I would ask him why he thinks it's appropriate to show me that picture. And I would inform him about consent and let him know he's a bit of a cunt if she knows nothing about these pictures being shared around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely. If I share a picture with my partner that’s who I have consented to see it. For them to then share it with someone else who also then shares it? Completely out of order "

Sadly, in my own experience there are some people who find it impossible to understand this, even after they’ve been told. The problem is that, once shared, they seem to think of the picture as “their” property, and not that of the subject!

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"I'd ask if she knows. She might be fine with it. "

I did think that actually.

It seems like a stretch, but it is possible and it's a good way to challenge.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I'm aware of a situation a few years ago where a guy sent a video to a WhatsApp group of his gf giving him a bj.

One of the guys in that group decided to play it for his team mates in the dressing room one Saturday afternoon before a game.

He didn't get to play in that game because he had his nose broken by the team goalkeeper who broke a finger doing so and also missed the game.

The girl in the video was the goalkeepers younger sister.

Shit like that has consequences.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is the main reason I don't send naked photos or allow cameras during sex.

People promise it's just for them, but people break promises. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why is he showing you in her lingerie?

I'm not friends with either of them anymore. Found out this isn't the first woman they've shared pics of. I'm very pissed off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm aware of a situation a few years ago where a guy sent a video to a WhatsApp group of his gf giving him a bj.

One of the guys in that group decided to play it for his team mates in the dressing room one Saturday afternoon before a game.

He didn't get to play in that game because he had his nose broken by the team goalkeeper who broke a finger doing so and also missed the game.

The girl in the video was the goalkeepers younger sister.

Shit like that has consequences."

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"We met a couple once and he had a naked photo of her as his phone background. She said she'd asked him to take it off but he said he liked it and didn't mind his friends and colleagues seeing it. That was a huge ted flag that both of us actually missed at the time "

Because he thought as he had the photograph he owned it and could do what he wanted with it.

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

The thing is, ive done this but only with my wifes consent. So doing it behind her back would be really disrespectful and untrustworthy. Who knows what could happen to that photo? It could end up on a porn blog site which she may not be happy about.

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By *ddie1966Man
over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

I've always taken the attitude of whatever images I snap of people, they are not my property. The model has all rights to them and I ask permission to use them first.

Novel, I know, but it's just the way I work.

Posting pics without permission is despicable and the culprit should be banned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s back to consent isn’t it?

(A) Did you consent to be shown soft pornographic pictures of another woman?

(B) Did the woman in the pictures consent to them being shared by either party (her boyfriend or his mate)?

I’m guessing the answer to (A) is no, in which case a line is already crossed.

I assume we don’t know the answer to (B), I would imagine most women would see this as a gross invasion of privacy but as you can see from Fab at times, there are some exhibitionists on here (men and women) that do like the idea of being seen.

Anyway, what would I do?

Hard to say really, not been in that situation. It’s easy to say on here “I’d say in no uncertain terms that showing me was totally unacceptable and a violation of her rights!” when in reality I might say “mate, not sure you should have shown me that..” to make a point and leave it at that. Who knows?

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"I'd ask if she knows. She might be fine with it. "

She might be fine with her boyfriend showing it but hasn't consented to a third party distributing it

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

One or two are certainly not practicing what they preach me thinks

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Does your company have a HR dept, as I sure there is grounds for a disciplinary there.

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By *itonthesideWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Interesting that the revenge porn law has a specific condition that sharing the images must be with the intent to cause distress or embarrassment, so sharing for your friends to get off on doesn’t count even though the consent is still missing

that law is needing an update based on how often people in this thread have posed “well maybe she wanted it”. Consent should be explicit, if you are unsure it exists then it doesnt exist

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By *rmainman10Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Ummm... OP... Have you got the pic so I can see what she looks like ??

I'm joking I'm joking

Joke aside... That ain't nice... I guess she trust the person.. but that trus 'could' be now broken

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