FabSwingers.com forum: Badly explain your job

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Just badly explain your job and let others guess what you do (unless you need to remain discreet or wish for it to remain private)

For example a Teacher could badly explain their job by saying

“I yell at uninterested children for 6 hours every day.”

How are you going to badly explain your job ?

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I provide free time for other people.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I do things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look at peoples bank accounts and bill them.

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By *inkedKuntsCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

I mess with computers and pipe, at the same time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I yell at uninterested adults a couple of times a week

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By *oodsman1000Man
over a year ago

Hereford

I kill plants and eat them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maid, gopher, the organiser

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You break it. I fix it.

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By *akeuslaugh1994Man
over a year ago

Larne

I fix spinny things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sit on my backside and play with myself

And give myself the sack after a hour or 2

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By *irty Flirty HarryMan
over a year ago

East Sussex

Rocket scientist

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By *oodsman1000Man
over a year ago

Hereford

"Maid, gopher, the organiser"

Are you a housewife?

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By *4G-GBBukCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

I send and receive emails

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"You break it. I fix it. "

Bob the builder ?

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

I spend 8 hours a day explaining how to do the job that I could do in half the time.

Luna

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"I spend 8 hours a day explaining how to do the job that I could do in half the time.

Luna"

Manager ?

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By *ellanbennyCouple
over a year ago

cambs

I frequently attempt to bang people's heads together to make them see sense and try to avoid a costly 3rd party.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get to dress up and get bodily fluids on me for 13hour stints, all with a smile on my face. Px

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales

When I am not sat, buried under piles of dusty old papers, I meet with clients and watch their eyes glaze over as I give them the advice they’ve come to get from me ……

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By *oodsman1000Man
over a year ago

Hereford

"i get to dress up and get bodily fluids on me for 13hour stints, all with a smile on my face. Px

Nurse

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Self Directing. Take care of the most important person alive!

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"I spend 8 hours a day explaining how to do the job that I could do in half the time.

Luna

Manager ?"

Yes and no.

Principal in my field.

Luna

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"When I am not sat, buried under piles of dusty old papers, I meet with clients and watch their eyes glaze over as I give them the advice they’ve come to get from me ……

Solicitor?

Luna

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Drive machinery and dig up trees.

The mr

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

I stick things in a pipe and pump it till it sprays out the other end

Can take hours sometimes

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"I frequently attempt to bang people's heads together to make them see sense and try to avoid a costly 3rd party.

Councillor?

Luna

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By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

I make shit

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"Drive machinery and dig up trees.

The mr "

Landscaper?

Luna

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I refit magic smoke

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

Save the world from acts of terror one grope at a time.

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By *rchitectMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

I enjoy colouring in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shout at people and have a team of little goblins to help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm awesome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I enjoy colouring in."

Painter and decorator?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm awesome "

Forum wit implementer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I apply stuff to your face to make you look different

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By *tlwMan
over a year ago

Bermondsey

I review contracts and advise on laws

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By *hortishblondeWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I supply stuff to the needy

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I deliberately stop people from watching porn at work whilst maintaining a sense of security for the top bosses

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Slapping a label on a box of stuff while deciphering mumbo-jumbo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make things better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Colour redistribution operative

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

"I shout at people and have a team of little goblins to help"

Willy Wonka, is that you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hide everyone else's mistakes and get judged the most

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I shout at people and have a team of little goblins to help

Willy Wonka, is that you?

I'd prefer a factory

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We buy stuff cheap add our profit then sell it cheap and make other companies more money.

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"We buy stuff cheap add our profit then sell it cheap and make other companies more money."

Electricity company apart from the sell it cheap part

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Colour redistribution operative"

Painter ?

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales

"When I am not sat, buried under piles of dusty old papers, I meet with clients and watch their eyes glaze over as I give them the advice they’ve come to get from me ……

Solicitor?

Luna"

Well that was easier to guess than I’d anticipated lolol

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

"I review contracts and advise on laws"

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

"I frequently attempt to bang people's heads together to make them see sense and try to avoid a costly 3rd party.

Marriage guidance

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"When I am not sat, buried under piles of dusty old papers, I meet with clients and watch their eyes glaze over as I give them the advice they’ve come to get from me ……

Solicitor?

Luna

Well that was easier to guess than I’d anticipated lolol"

Met a few solicitors, you missed the bit about the client passing out when you tell them the cost for your work.

Luna

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

"I deliberately stop people from watching porn at work whilst maintaining a sense of security for the top bosses"

IT firewall dept

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

One of us deals with Lady parts.

One of us is welcomed into people's home.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

[Removed by poster at 11/07/23 17:34:16]

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By *tlwMan
over a year ago

Bermondsey

"I review contracts and advise on laws

HR"

Not really. More than that

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

"I apply stuff to your face to make you look different

Make up artist

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By *tlwMan
over a year ago

Bermondsey

"When I am not sat, buried under piles of dusty old papers, I meet with clients and watch their eyes glaze over as I give them the advice they’ve come to get from me ……

Solicitor?

Luna

Well that was easier to guess than I’d anticipated lolol

Met a few solicitors, you missed the bit about the client passing out when you tell them the cost for your work.

Luna"

Lol so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disperse pollution across a wider area than previously.

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By *eardedwonder999Man
over a year ago

Worcester

Mens things that no-one else can without the help of Google

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By *eardedwonder999Man
over a year ago

Worcester

That was meant to be mends..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I program black boxed to make machines work

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"I disperse pollution across a wider area than previously. "

Delivery driver

Luna

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell people to pay their debts and meet their obligations. Sometimes I tell people not to pay their alleged debts and not meet their alleged obligations

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By *elshcouple18Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

I fit boxes onto walls and floors, so people can cook food, wash dishes etc..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I disperse pollution across a wider area than previously.

Delivery driver

Luna"

Thankfully. No.

Poor sods have it hard.

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I hit a triangle shaped object with a metal stick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager

"
Karen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take women to a private place where they take their tops off and I look at their boobs.

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I frequently attempt to bang people's heads together to make them see sense and try to avoid a costly 3rd party.

Divorce/custody mediator ?

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I apply stuff to your face to make you look different

Make up artist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager

Regulator

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By *lipzer KnicksaffWoman
over a year ago

Up My Own Arse Apparently

I see and touch nearly naked bodies.

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I fit boxes onto walls and floors, so people can cook food, wash dishes etc.. "

Electrician?

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager

Regulator "

Sorry but no

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Pretend to listen to ppl, occasionally interject with a mmmmm, I see, ok.....

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I take women to a private place where they take their tops off and I look at their boobs. "

Mammogram tech?

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I tell people to pay their debts and meet their obligations. Sometimes I tell people not to pay their alleged debts and not meet their alleged obligations "

Debt advisor?

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"Pretend to listen to ppl, occasionally interject with a mmmmm, I see, ok....."

Councellor/psychiatrist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tell people to pay their debts and meet their obligations. Sometimes I tell people not to pay their alleged debts and not meet their alleged obligations

Debt advisor?"

Nope - btw your job is driving me crazy!! Making my brain scramble !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fit boxes onto walls and floors, so people can cook food, wash dishes etc.. "

Kitchen fitter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager

Mystery shopper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager

Regulator

Sorry but no"

Stay at home mum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spray hot loads on things

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By *ondonFunTimesMan
over a year ago

Hampshire/Surrey

I make people appear to be something they aren’t whilst maintaining who they are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see and touch nearly naked bodies."

Beauty therapist/masseuse

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I tell people to pay their debts and meet their obligations. Sometimes I tell people not to pay their alleged debts and not meet their alleged obligations

Debt advisor?

Nope - btw your job is driving me crazy!! Making my brain scramble !! "

You won't get it. Hell I can hardly explain my job

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager

Mystery shopper"

Nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep 45 employees on the right track

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager

Regulator

Sorry but no

Stay at home mum? "

Nope. My idea of hell (no off3nce to sahm's, just not for me)

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"Spray hot loads on things "

Steam cleaner?

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By *estinysswingersCouple
over a year ago

Worsley

I save lives and organise …

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I save lives and organise … "

Blood donation thingy?

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I spend 8 hours a day explaining how to do the job that I could do in half the time.

Luna"

Trade trainer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spray hot loads on things

Steam cleaner?"

No sorry

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By *ingdangTV/TS
over a year ago

manchester

I bang my head onto the keyboard for 8 hours a day, and occasionally I find something and start typing really fast.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Drive machinery and dig up trees.

The mr

Landscaper?

Luna"

Afraid not.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager

Teacher

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of us deals with Lady parts.

One of us is welcomed into people's home."

A gynaecologist?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I bang my head onto the keyboard for 8 hours a day, and occasionally I find something and start typing really fast."

Something to do with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I help people not work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I give people what they need to give themselves more exposure to their public but in a legal way

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager

Teacher "

Wrong again

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I keep 45 employees on the right track"

PAYROLL!

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I kill plants and eat them "

Is vegan a profession?

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I draw lines and circles.

I also make stuff from plastic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I bang my head onto the keyboard for 8 hours a day, and occasionally I find something and start typing really fast."

Journalist

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I supply stuff to the needy "

Mrs/Ms Robin hood

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

I write songs, sing, play guitar & make women think about ‘the sex’ when they look at me….

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

Unwanted history rescue and redistribution

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By *hapLeedsMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I just make it up and wing it, technically speaking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fix that which is broken so others can fix that which you have broken.

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

I move all the crappy dangerous stuff that nobody else wants to.

Mr H.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I watch people have threesomes all day long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I move stuff from one part of the world to the other

Mr C

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I watch people have threesomes all day long. "

BBC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I watch people have threesomes all day long.

BBC

Haha.

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By *ristinapinkWoman
over a year ago

Staines-upon-Thames

I tell people what to do… no one listens to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I specialise in accurate interpretations of your pathetically unclear and dismally vague descriptions of what you think might be going wrong.

- Mr

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I move all the crappy dangerous stuff that nobody else wants to.

Mr H.

Asbestos remover?

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I specialise in accurate interpretations of your pathetically unclear and dismally vague descriptions of what you think might be going wrong.

- Mr"

Political Secretary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take people to the shops, whilst trying to avoid any awkward looks or outbursts of anger. Helping adults to make their own drinks and dinner etc, occasionally wipe arses and sit around in silence often

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Take people to the shops, whilst trying to avoid any awkward looks or outbursts of anger. Helping adults to make their own drinks and dinner etc, occasionally wipe arses and sit around in silence often"

A thankless task I'm sure

speaks volumes!!

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By *tlwMan
over a year ago

Bermondsey

"I tell people what to do… no one listens to me

TfL speaker?

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

Carer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A thankless task I'm sure

speaks volumes!!"

It can be extremely thankless, but it can be extremely rewarding too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to make things look nice.

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"I move all the crappy dangerous stuff that nobody else wants to.

Mr H.

Asbestos remover?"

Close but my job will kill me far quicker if I get it wrong

Mr H

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I move all the crappy dangerous stuff that nobody else wants to.

Mr H.

Asbestos remover?

Close but my job will kill me far quicker if I get it wrong

Mr H "

Sharps collector or whatever it's called

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I spend shitloads of money on stuff the company doesn't want, but needs, and shout "How Much!" several times per day. But, without this stuff, the company would grind to a halt!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i get to dress up and get bodily fluids on me for 13hour stints, all with a smile on my face. Px

"
Gotta be a nurse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I walk around a big yard, moving pieces of railway around until it’s built and ready to go out and survey the network

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"I move all the crappy dangerous stuff that nobody else wants to.

Mr H.

Asbestos remover?

Close but my job will kill me far quicker if I get it wrong

Mr H

Sharps collector or whatever it's called "

That was my old job

I have much more of a blast in this one.

Mr H

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

This is old job I had many years

Ago I'd go around shops swop them something I didn't want and have give me something that I wanted and have them pay me a fee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most days im covered in white stuff thats sticky,i spend a lot of time on my knees

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I spend shitloads of money on stuff the company doesn't want, but needs, and shout "How Much!" several times per day. But, without this stuff, the company would grind to a halt!"

Gotta be the safety person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most days im covered in white stuff thats sticky,i spend a lot of time on my knees

Plasterer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager

Regulator

Sorry but no

Stay at home mum?

Nope. My idea of hell (no off3nce to sahm's, just not for me)"

Same. Too bloody hard!!!

Argh this has actually gotten me obsessively thinking !!!!

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

"I spend shitloads of money on stuff the company doesn't want, but needs, and shout "How Much!" several times per day. But, without this stuff, the company would grind to a halt!

Gotta be the safety person"

Nope!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the wetness from A to B

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

I control everything

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"Just badly explain your job and let others guess what you do (unless you need to remain discreet or wish for it to remain private)

For example a Teacher could badly explain their job by saying

“I yell at uninterested children for 6 hours every day.”

How are you going to badly explain your job ?"

being nice to people and them being C**** back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going into the office two days a week and pretending that I've been working for five!

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Just badly explain your job and let others guess what you do (unless you need to remain discreet or wish for it to remain private)

For example a Teacher could badly explain their job by saying

“I yell at uninterested children for 6 hours every day.”

How are you going to badly explain your job ?

being nice to people and them being C**** back "

Telesales/customer service??

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"Going into the office two days a week and pretending that I've been working for five! "
.

Isn't that 99% of flexibility office jobs out there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I draw things badly and then argue about them with other people, sometimes in written form

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock stuff down. Paint stuff. Let others pay me for warmth and comfort

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

I make things louder, bigger and brighter so more people can see and hear things.

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I make other people look better and scream into the void

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand. "

Engineer???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand. "

Illuminati

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get the wetness from A to B"

Janitor

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand.

Illuminati

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand. "

I would say politician but this isn't 'opposites' thread

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

My old job we used to say "we use GCSE's to fix what those with Degrees broke"

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand. "

Stage Manager?

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"My old job we used to say "we use GCSE's to fix what those with Degrees broke""

Trades?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I spend my entire working life winding people up and irritating them. Most people hate me until they need me

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I spend my entire working life winding people up and irritating them. Most people hate me until they need me

Mrs"

Policewoman

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

"Most days im covered in white stuff thats sticky,i spend a lot of time on my knees

Flooring

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By *rincess-PeachWoman
over a year ago

irrelevant

I protect genitalia

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand. "

Resource levelling / process analyst

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes a spanner will sort it…. But other times a bit of tape keeps it together ….I use both to my advantage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I persuade people to do life changing things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I persuade people to do life changing things "

Nun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I persuade people to do life changing things

Nun"

I’d make a good Nun. Quite like the outfit anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep things running so you can use this site

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I make things that don't talk to each other, talk to each other.

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

Retired now, but

A visionary who turns dreams into drawings, effortlessly balancing form and function, and possessing the unique talent to explain complex three-dimensional concepts using LEGO bricks and cardboard.

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By *alleysBoiMan
over a year ago

Newbridge

I provide free electric on your roof

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make hungry people not hungry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/07/23 22:15:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cease internet discussion

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I plan travel for millions of people annually

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By *archelCouple
over a year ago

A field somewhere

Stick stuff together by hitting a piece of metal with another piece of metal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you!

The only way I can describe mine is, I email people for interviews. It's not your normal every day interview though

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