FabSwingers.com forum: What comeback works against all insults

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

For example . I have been called worse .

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

If you want my comeback you'll have to scrape it off your mums teeth.

*courtesy of Jimmy Carr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sucks to be you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mum

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

I know you are, you said you are, but what I am i then?!

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

Anything else?

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By *urvelover87Man
over a year ago

stevenage

Yelling and pissing on them to show dominance.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

If you want my come back as your sister.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Póg mo thoin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I look bovvered

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

Takes one to know one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Frankly your opinion on anything is worthless to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No U!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish my dick was as thick as you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wish my dick was as thick as you"

It is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You ok hun

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Your Mum should have swallowed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wish my dick was as thick as you

It is. "

You must be tiny

And you KNOW I don't have any penis pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are a walking advert for contraception.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

Tell your mum she still owes me change.

And an apology.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wish my dick was as thick as you

It is.

You must be tiny

And you KNOW I don't have any penis pics

I remember it don't worry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wish my dick was as thick as you

It is.

You must be tiny

And you KNOW I don't have any penis pics

I remember it don't worry. "

This is my first profile....I can't even get shag/verified/meet/attention/FAF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wish my dick was as thick as you

It is.

You must be tiny

And you KNOW I don't have any penis pics

I remember it don't worry.

This is my first profile....I can't even get shag/verified/meet/attention/FAF

In that order? I'll give it a bash

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

Your mother should of swallowed. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wish my dick was as thick as you

It is.

You must be tiny

And you KNOW I don't have any penis pics

I remember it don't worry.

This is my first profile....I can't even get shag/verified/meet/attention/FAF

In that order? I'll give it a bash

she's on form!!!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I've just made this up .

If your opinion matter to me it turn my earing aids on as it dosent. I'll save the batteries.

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

Did that make you feel better

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Yelling and pissing on them to show dominance."
Golden showers dear! Lol

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

said in a sarcastic way...with The Look

"intelligent input baby"

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By *eally_RosieWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

So’s your face x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww look how hard you worked to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

Sorry. You said something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't you just love the sound of your own voice?

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By *dward_TeagueMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Your life has been a complete waste of sperm and egg

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

You appear too have mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck.

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By *anderingArtistMan
over a year ago

an abstract world

I don't have any generic ones. I think best in the heat of the moment with a topical retort.

The most universal I would say is a vacant stare at their face and walking off without saying anything.

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

"I don't have any generic ones. I think best in the heat of the moment with a topical retort.

The most universal I would say is a vacant stare at their face and walking off without saying anything."

I tend to balls up heat of the moment retorts but the vacant stare - YES.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

You feeling ok?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a simple 'normal' does the trick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Show me on this doll, where you've been hurt

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan
over a year ago

Wigan

Oh fuck, you actually thought I gave a shit then didn't you? Aww, and you put so much effort into insulting me, that must be so embarrassing for you.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

I think your gene pool needs more chlorine

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

Your really stupid to think I care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think your gene pool needs more chlorine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your mum"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just stare at their forehead the whole time. Makes them feel insecure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Silence and walk away

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Can you come back, when you have less time?

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By *lexanderSupertrampMan
over a year ago

Gourock

I just smile and laugh after I get insulted, it tends to wind folk up

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By *tylebender03Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Don’t say anything. Either laugh or smirk at them

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

You have nothing to say and you're saying it far too loudly.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

You know the IQ score signifies how smart someone is - heres a test, can you spell IQ?

I think your iQ score is missing decimal places..

Have you had some form of brain injury?

Zero fucks given to be honest

Is Dickhead one word or 2 - for when i i email everyone about you later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, just like your mum, I wish you'd been aborted

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Did you come with a warranty at all??

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I find a stern “jog on” is always a winner in any situation

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

I know you are, but what am I?

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

"Just stare at their forehead the whole time. Makes them feel insecure

I'm using this.....

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

Well bless your heart

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Here’s 10p, go and phone someone who gives a fuck

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

Fu@k off you spunk splat, or I will kick you into the middle of next week

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By *eardedwonder999Man
over a year ago

Worcester

Sticks and stones blah blah.. in reality I've found ' Are you ok' works a treat

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Ta t'ra

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

If your waiting for my cumback...you'll.have to scrap it off your mums teeth....(Mr Jimmy Carr)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

You wish what?

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By *dventurousSexplorersCouple
over a year ago

Fantasy Land

Cool. And then carry on with whatever you were doing

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

The best ones posted here are those that don’t invite a further reply.

A good put-down shows that their invective doesn’t warrant any consideration.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Here’s 10p, go and phone someone who gives a fuck "

It must be nearer a quid these days, surely?! Fucks are expensive to give.

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

If I want you're opinion I'll give it to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Silence.

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By *asygoingcouple2022Couple
over a year ago

The moon

That’s Nice

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

Blow a kiss wink smile then walk away. Stops them In their tracks there’s no comeback to that

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

I’d like to give them an Eric Morecambe style slap on the cheeks but that would probably constitute assault.

Perhaps a Tut and a shake of the head before walking away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What was that?

Pardon?

Say again.

Oh right, what do you mean?

Ok, cool.

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

It also depends on where/context the encounter is taking place.Love meeting a keyboard warrior who has forgotten they are not behind a screen,they look so much better horizontal with a busted lip.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 28/06/23 23:48:31]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I won't enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed person

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By *LIVEANDKICKING100Man
over a year ago

DUBLIN

You are hilarious. So funny. You should be up on a stage telling jokes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have the time, or the crayons to discuss this with you.

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

Have you always had a small cock?

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Awww, bless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should be on TV as interference

You're 2 IQ points short of a moron.

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By *onsShlongMan
over a year ago

bury

Oh the communal cum deposit has something to say. Gather round.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Get back in your caravan, your brother will want a go before your dad gets home.

The mr

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By *awk90Man
over a year ago

Amsterdam

How appropriate; you fight like a cow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/06/23 06:27:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For example . I have been called worse .

"Thank you"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I normally just say, with a chuckle ......

Yeah, alright mate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Laugh at them, this is all you need to do

Say nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Away ye go n geez peace ya half wit. This usually suffices.

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By *ellanbennyCouple
over a year ago

cambs

Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it and thou shalt see that it is barren.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

F off

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Walk away saying 'I'm off to fuck your mom'

then crane your neck, turn back round and continue with 'ah! queue's too long'

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By *adbod2godbodMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Ooohhh who put 50p in the knobhead?

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By *innocentMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

I hand them my phone and say

It's for you , think it's someone who gives a f.uck

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Just agree. Shrug shoulders and sau "fair enough" before walking away without a care in the world.

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By *elpful and caringMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

Put you thumb on your nose fingers outstretched and blow a raspberry.

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Well I admire you, especially the way, with your minimal intellect, you can walk and chew gum at the same time.

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

Ask them if they would like to do sex.

It either ends a conversation or results in sex.

As a single guy, this is win-win.

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

Glad I saw you, reminds me got to take the trash out.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Who lit the fuse on your tampax

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

"Who lit the fuse on your tampax

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

My cat likes to watch TV. Discombobulation works according to derren brown

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

I could agree with you, but we’d both be wrong.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

You definitely hit every ugly branch and broke the fuckin tree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to work on your flirting skills.

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

"Well I admire you, especially the way, with your minimal intellect, you can walk and chew gum at the same time. "

What if they can’t? That would be rude.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I maybe ugly on the outside but at least I can still receive treatment but what's your excuse

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton

Whatever.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"Do I look bovvered"
I'm guilty of using this all the time. In the proper accent too

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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

Sorry, did you say something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won't enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed person"

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

I could go off you, you know. Assuming I liked you in the first place…

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it and thou shalt see that it is barren."

This is my favourite

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I am rubber, you are glue

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I’ve met some pricks in my time but you Sir are the cactus

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

NG 21

I love it when ppl try to insult me. Trouble is I'm a bit quick with a response that normally flips the insult back to them, then I'm the baddy.

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By *vmarisaTV/TS
over a year ago

Motherwell

"You appear too have mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck. "

This ... Works every time.. that and the block button lol mm Mxx

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

You called me fat, you know why I'm so fat?

Everytime I fuck your Mum and cum on her face, she makes me a sandwich.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Did you come with a warranty at all??

Totally nicking this!!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Have a lovely day!

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By *ee04Man
over a year ago

Essex

“Can’t fix stupid”

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By *osey WalesMan
over a year ago

Surrey

They put instructions on shampoo for the benefit of smarter people than you

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By *DSGCouple
over a year ago

That place in

Keep looking at them after saying OK

Works a treat

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

Cool story bro ??

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Wena funa ukubebha lo inja manje!

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

"Wena funa ukubebha lo inja manje!"

Ndizvozvo

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Ehe!

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By *osey WalesMan
over a year ago

Surrey

I have neither the time or the crayons, to explain it to you in a way that you will comprehend

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Wena funa ukubebha lo inja manje!

Ndizvozvo

Kunjani Mfo! Usaphila na?

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

"Wena funa ukubebha lo inja manje!

Ndizvozvo

Kunjani Mfo! Usaphila na?"

Mushe sterek blazo. Kunjani wena?

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By *EladyluckWoman
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

A very genuine pause followed by a sympathetic face and "are you ok?"

A genuine full teeth smile and belly laugh

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I am insulted by the total lack of thought in that, must not be your turn with the family brain cell today.

Why am I even talking to you, you are a knuckle dragging neanderthal.

Go home, your village is missing its idiot.

My most common comebacks.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"Póg mo thoin "

Why do you use a pubs name in Liverpool as an insult.....

Oh, kiss my hole. Doh!

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"Do I look bovvered"

I do the

Am I bovvvered, to friends and family.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Wena funa ukubebha lo inja manje!

Ndizvozvo

Kunjani Mfo! Usaphila na?

Mushe sterek blazo. Kunjani wena?"

Ngisaphila mngani. Ngiyabonga.

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

You're so thick if breathing wasn't natural you would suffocate

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

A kick in the nadgers?

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

The best part of you ran down the crack of your mums arse and ended up as a brown stain on her sheets.

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