FabSwingers.com forum: How would you feel if your partner had sex with someone else without your permission?

By *he love cats OP Couple
over a year ago

South Wales

Even though you are in the lifestyle would you still see it as cheating and react the same as a vanilla couple or would you find it easier to talk about it and move on.

Have a lovely evening all

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’d rip them a new arsehole, regardless.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Yes it's still cheating and I'd be furious, to be fair it would be the end of things, this lifestyle requires trust and communication once that's gone there's no going back.

Mrs

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By *am_LincolnMan
over a year ago

Prestatyn

I think there should always be open and clear communication. If a person needs to hide it then somewhere there is a problem. All it takes is a text just to let you know what's happening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely see it as cheating would be devastated if that happened couldn’t get passed it

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By *ilth N KinkCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I’d be gone. If they didn’t have permission then it’s cheating

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By *ackonceagain1777Couple
over a year ago

West Mids

Of course it's cheating!! Once the trust has gone that's it done x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Still cheating

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I don't really see sex as something I need to give permission for.

As long as I have a heads up in terms of changing risk profiles for stds and I'm not being neglected for the sake of the new person, it's all good.

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By *ootnootboopCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

Absolutely, unequivocally, cheating.....

Rightly would be furious, the lifestyle would be over and serious questions asked about the future of our relationship.

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby

It's cheating.It would be totally upsetting as what we do together has been so positive and I would hope we could always talk if we need or want more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to me, it's absolutely was still cheating, and it absolutely was the beginning of the end, in terms of his position within my life.

never letting that happen again. Px

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need a partner right?…,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd consider it a betrayal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask her if she filmed it

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By *kinandbonesCouple
over a year ago

dublin

Wouldn't mind at all. That's the set up we have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s cheating in my eyes! We talk about everything before anything happens so we know we’re on the same page.

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By *obbo2022Man
over a year ago

little town near bishop

That's how me and my ex split.

We had been swinging for years together.

Came home from work early caught her bent over being fucked by my best mate.

I went mental as you would.

There is a line and she crossed that line.

Not that she was not allowed to pick her guys we had a strict no friends rule.

Later found out she was having a affair with him for over 2 years hence why she is now my ex.

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

I’d be fuming - it’s 100% cheating I don’t have time for that kind of dishonesty x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be gone. We do this because we trust each other and that would break that trust.

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By *oft_SensualTV/TS
over a year ago

Yorkshire

It's clearly a huge issue here and in general- how many times have I been messaged by couples who shall remain nameless and the mail boils down to 'it's just the male half today'!

So many people- both male and female- use swinging and kink as a charade, a masqerade, a cover, an excuse to control people, justify their own behaviour and to push boundaries and act like utter shits toward partners.

I know, it happened to me and it won't happen again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely cheating and I don't think we'd be together afterwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're open so don't really need permission if things happen naturally with people without each others knowledge. If he didn't tell me afterwards though, I'd find that a bit wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That would be defined as cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes it's still cheating and I'd be furious, to be fair it would be the end of things, this lifestyle requires trust and communication once that's gone there's no going back.

Mrs "

Exactly what this person said.. Behind back is cheating n trust be gone, I wouldn't continue the relationship if cheated on.

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By *omtom7Man
over a year ago

Tralee

If she told me afterwards, then no problem. Tbh, I don't think I'd have much of an issue with it either way.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Would never happen. If I had a partner, I'd be good for them....better than anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's how me and my ex split.

We had been swinging for years together.

Came home from work early caught her bent over being fucked by my best mate.

I went mental as you would.

There is a line and she crossed that line.

Not that she was not allowed to pick her guys we had a strict no friends rule.

Later found out she was having a affair with him for over 2 years hence why she is now my ex."

Wow.. Sounds like u got a gd exit, she'd not change if u forgave her, she'd of continued n ur trust be lost..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is sex.

That's not the issue.

The fact it was done behind my back would be what I had the problem with. The trust would have been broken and without that trust there's no relationship for me.

Mrs

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

They did. Our relationship ended. I found out about lots more, subsequently. I think he is addicted to cheating, the thrill!

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By *heodore21Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

The end ..bye Felicia ...

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By *nigmaschild300Man
over a year ago

dunfermline

It's cheating and it is rife on here.

And every other platform like it.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

We don't need each others permission but we are always honest with each other, no secrets, no lies....that's swinging.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

It would be over. Trust is everything and once its broken, it can never be fixed x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s the great thing about real trust and respect in a relationship, it would never happen. Bonnie would always send me pictures and a video if you hooked up with anyone

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By *nigmaschild300Man
over a year ago

dunfermline

"Would never happen. If I had a partner, I'd be good for them....better than anyone else."

that's either funny or nieve.

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By *omtom7Man
over a year ago

Tralee

"Would never happen. If I had a partner, I'd be good for them....better than anyone else.

that's either funny or nieve. "

Definitely

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

that's either funny or nieve. "

Smug and laughable was my feeling on it

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By *_J111Woman
over a year ago

home

If it was behind my back and is against the agreements that we have discussed (not at a club where I know they are going and will probably play with others) then it's cheating and I would response accordingly

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I’d feel betrayed if we hadn’t spoken about this being okay.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

He wouldn't need my permission.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

It's happened to me before and I didn't mind. Whether I wasn't emotionally invested anymore I don't know but to me, sex is sex and can be absolutely nothing to do with any form of romance so I'd be ok with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They don't expect to get or need my permission

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

Depends on the dynamics.

If we had agreed prior permission must be granted, I'd be very pissed.

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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

"That's how me and my ex split.

We had been swinging for years together.

Came home from work early caught her bent over being fucked by my best mate.

I went mental as you would.

There is a line and she crossed that line.

Not that she was not allowed to pick her guys we had a strict no friends rule.

Later found out she was having a affair with him for over 2 years hence why she is now my ex."

Sounds familiar ( in a past life)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't be a problem but would expect an in detail rundown after.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

Dublin and midlands

"Needing permission" suggests ownership. Nobody owns anyone else. In the context of swinging,"giving permission" is another way of saying.. Lets review our agreements... I'd hate to be denied permission to do something, I love my freedom too much. I don't think I could be in a relationship where the other partner controlled my freedom, by granting or witholding permission. I can understand this is contentious, hence, we make agreements(in swinging) to behave in an agreed way. For me, with an agreement in place, there would be no need for "permission" to be requested, agreed or denied.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I don't really see sex as something I need to give permission for.

As long as I have a heads up in terms of changing risk profiles for stds and I'm not being neglected for the sake of the new person, it's all good. "

Yep this. If they lied or deliberately hid it, I'd be a little bit hurt. But they're not mine to control, I just hope and believe our relationship is good and close enough there'd be that level of honesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex, not a problem

Dates and chats leading up to the shag, I'd be very unhappy

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By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham

I'd see it for what it is - cheating

There's a difference between couples playing solo with the others knowledge and someone dipping their wick just because they can

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

It depends on the dynamics we only play together so I would wonder why all of a sudden he was being a sneaky bastard and their would be no coming back from that kind of betrayal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This for me would be cheating, telling each other about encounters forest is one of our only rules

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

We are always open to the possibility of sex with others (not like in asda or anything!) as we've discussed it already. So it's not a thing for us.

Mrs TMN x

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

If I was in a swinging couple I'd feel cheated unless we had said it's ok before, it's polite and thoughtful to check first I think

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

If I didn't know about it then I'd be furious, we discuss and change our boundaries if it's wanted/needed by either of us so to go behind my back to break our very flexible boundaries would be about the only thing that would class as cheating.

Luckily we have a great relationship and communication that works for us.

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

I think that regardless of the couple’s dynamics , whether prior permission is required or not , if lies are used to cover the deed/encounter then it’s cheating … And that’s unacceptable in my eyes, quite soul breaking .

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By *lwaysup4it69Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield

We have agreed we can both fuck other people together or alone. The 1 rule is communication if 1 of us gets off with someone while out and decide to sleep with them, the agreement is we text so the other is aware before it happens

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

Permission is a strong term.

Are you still in the age of ownership, where you decide what your partner can do?

Agreement is a term which I prefer.

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By *osmicandDibbsCouple
over a year ago

london

If there is no agreement or consent then ultimately the trust is broken.....

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Permission is a strong term.

Are you still in the age of ownership, where you decide what your partner can do?

Agreement is a term which I prefer. "

Think permission is actually the right term to use, it's not a contract

I've never heard anyone say I have a agreement with my partner to sleep with other people, it's always been I have permission as that's what it is

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By *osmicandDibbsCouple
over a year ago

london

I think thats fair, open and the right thing to do if you both are in agreement- it shouldn't matter to anyone else really.

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By *mrmarkMan
over a year ago

tavistock

My partner goes away every so often with her old group of friends. All ladies. They all play with each other and sometimes invite guys to join them. I'm not to know but do and it fine by me. I do so she can too.

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By *obbo2022Man
over a year ago

little town near bishop

"That's how me and my ex split.

We had been swinging for years together.

Came home from work early caught her bent over being fucked by my best mate.

I went mental as you would.

There is a line and she crossed that line.

Not that she was not allowed to pick her guys we had a strict no friends rule.

Later found out she was having a affair with him for over 2 years hence why she is now my ex.

Wow.. Sounds like u got a gd exit, she'd not change if u forgave her, she'd of continued n ur trust be lost.. "

She lost more than me house car and most of our swinging friends.

Trust was lost I could never forgive 24 years down the drain.

Hey ho moved on life's to short

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd be hurt and angry

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

"Permission is a strong term.

Are you still in the age of ownership, where you decide what your partner can do?

Agreement is a term which I prefer.

Think permission is actually the right term to use, it's not a contract

I've never heard anyone say I have a agreement with my partner to sleep with other people, it's always been I have permission as that's what it is"

How many people tell you they have permission?

Just because people don’t phone you to tell you they have agreed something with their partner doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford

"We don't need each others permission but we are always honest with each other, no secrets, no lies....that's swinging. "

As it should be. Communication is everything, honesty is key even if both parties have differing desires. Everyone has their own kinks and should be able to support each other and encourage not sneak around putting the other party at unnecessary risk

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

I believe the missus has autonomy and ownership of her own body, not me. How she exercises that autonomy is her choice, not mine. So long as it's safe, sane and consensual, it's none of my business.

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