FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Who finds fab there’s a bit of a clique going on

Jump to newest
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham

This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've also noticed this! I've been thinking the same

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"

Tidy missus. No clique I'm aware of

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t think there’s a clique just thousands of couples all looking for ffm

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"

Don't give up, it's not as inclusive as ppl like to say it is but don't make it mean anything about you guys...and don't gather yoyr worth from these forums, it's a very sycophantic place. Thise on it most will never meet one another Any way, unless they do socials or clubs.....don't sweat it you'll meet thise you connect with the rest fuck em

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Like life in general, what you get out of this site is proportionate to the effort you put in

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

What's the relation to the "suspected" clique and you guys not finding what you're looking for?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham

We know the ratio for us in one in a million but thank you for commenting

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *omtom7Man
over a year ago

Tralee


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"

Don't think it's cliques, but obviously people who know each other gather together. Your also looking for a "unicorn" and as the name implies, they are a rare creature. If ye were looking for a fella your inbox would be full to the brim and your eyes blinded by cocks

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham

We have tried pm’s rather than forum so we thought we’d try and comment/state things on here too. Thank you

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not meant to mention the clique, otherwise you'll never get in.

However, I did hear that ronight at 10.53 they are holding their AGM by the large bus stop for the 251 on Totteridge Common, so if you are quick and have your nomination papers duly signed, you might get a chance of joining them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"

If it feels like a clique and walks like a clique... Its a clique

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Why would a clique be in your way? Surely the sort of people who you want to connect with wouldn't be in it anyway.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

There's still a clique? But I left ages ago!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham

Thank you for your reply but I revert to one I posted earlier relating to age? Why is 50 considered out of bounds ? Aren’t you as old as you feel ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lipzer KnicksaffWoman
over a year ago

Up My Own Arse Apparently

Plenty of cliques.

It's just a question of finding your clique

A quick look through the new pics posted always reminds me that there is most definitely someone for everybody on here.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"

I’ve been on and off fab for a few years now and this time round I joined more for the forums than actual meets. In my experience there are a lot of time wasters or being a single guy I can message people and it gets ignored, the downside to fab is it can affect your confidence if you don’t get replies or meets which is why I try to not dwell on it as much now

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's still a clique? But I left ages ago!"

You were voted out if you remember. You can try and spin it as leaving, but as I recall you had your thong unceremoniously ripped from your pert buttocks and shredded before your very eyes, with the warning that should you return even more vile consequences would follow.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"

If you interact with people they’ll wanna meet you etc. if you’re just looking for women interested in FFM you’ve got a very narrow search window!

There’s no organisation of a clique as some would have you believe. Regular posters are going to gravitate towards each other. The way way infiltrated this was to post regularly!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham

What ? Wher you get that from ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a clique going on with no action going on. It's very much turning into a chat site not a swinging site.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home? "

You are a woman, and you are wise. We shall call you... A wise woman.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

As the chairperson of the Clique I deny we exist. In fact we had a vote and everyone on this thread isn’t allowed in. #wearebetterthanyou #wearetories #fuckoff

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Thank you for your reply but I revert to one I posted earlier relating to age? Why is 50 considered out of bounds ? Aren’t you as old as you feel ?"

As old as you identify

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What ? Wher you get that from ?"

If you click 'reply and quote' we will know who you are responding to.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're not meant to mention the clique, otherwise you'll never get in.

However, I did hear that ronight at 10.53 they are holding their AGM by the large bus stop for the 251 on Totteridge Common, so if you are quick and have your nomination papers duly signed, you might get a chance of joining them. "

We have to be naked for this right?

And not take anyone's eyes out in the process.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham

We are not daft, we know there more women on here and more couples too looking for fun but when we look through our local search and message hundreds of women, maybe we go back to the age thing….

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!


"There is a clique going on with no action going on. It's very much turning into a chat site not a swinging site. "

Eh? All our meets have pretty much come from being on fab. Yes there’s chat as well. That’s no bad thing!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is a clique going on with no action going on. It's very much turning into a chat site not a swinging site. "

Ha g on young lady. Your verifications show 8 meets since March. Some blokes don't see that many in a lifetime I feel that may suggest for you it's still very much a swinging site.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham

We try to be respectful and not show dicks and pussies, we read a lot saying to leave it to the imagination

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"We are not daft, we know there more women on here and more couples too looking for fun but when we look through our local search and message hundreds of women, maybe we go back to the age thing…."

If you're messaging hundreds of women, is it safe to assume the message is very short or just a bland copy paste that could be sent to any viable orifice?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!


"We are not daft, we know there more women on here and more couples too looking for fun but when we look through our local search and message hundreds of women, maybe we go back to the age thing…."

Are you messaging them? Or are you waiting for them to come to you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham

Could be but we’ve tried the nicely nicely and the straight to the point messages too

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're not meant to mention the clique, otherwise you'll never get in.

However, I did hear that ronight at 10.53 they are holding their AGM by the large bus stop for the 251 on Totteridge Common, so if you are quick and have your nomination papers duly signed, you might get a chance of joining them.

We have to be naked for this right?

And not take anyone's eyes out in the process."

It's a bit cold out, so I fear your nips may be even more dangerous than in your profile pic. I shall make sure I have my PPE safety goggles.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!


"Could be but we’ve tried the nicely nicely and the straight to the point messages too"

Please use the reply and quote function so we know who you’re talking too!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham

We do message women on here and always try to reply and be polite to the men too who message who obviously haven’t read our profile, it’s always nice to be nice

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"What ? Wher you get that from ?

If you click 'reply and quote' we will know who you are responding to."

If you click... I See what you did there.. Chapeau sir

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

its like the free masons secret hand shakes and all that shit,, kidding

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham


"Could be but we’ve tried the nicely nicely and the straight to the point messages too

Please use the reply and quote function so we know who you’re talking too! "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham


"Could be but we’ve tried the nicely nicely and the straight to the point messages too

Please use the reply and quote function so we know who you’re talking too! "

Ahh sorry

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Could be but we’ve tried the nicely nicely and the straight to the point messages too"

But, there are hundreds of women that are within a reasonable distance, that you fit the preferences of and fit your own preferences according to their profile?

Shit man. You must live in unicorn central.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use this mainly for the forum now. I don’t expect much from msgs, just go to clubs & meet people face to face. The internet is not real so don’t get too caught up on social presence

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!


"Could be but we’ve tried the nicely nicely and the straight to the point messages too

Please use the reply and quote function so we know who you’re talking too!

Ahh sorry"

No worries!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Its in your head.

You need to be very secure in yourself to be on here.

And wear a flack jacket and dive in!

Of course some of the forum users will gravitate to each other, especially if they have met at socials or (heaven forbid) had sex!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe your just not what they want.

Maybe look / review your approach?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home?

You are a woman, and you are wise. We shall call you... A wise woman. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire


"I use this mainly for the forum now. I don’t expect much from msgs, just go to clubs & meet people face to face. The internet is not real so don’t get too caught up on social presence "
,, this,,

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow


"There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home? "

What do they need to break into if there is no clique?

Marc

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"

Same. I've been around these parts for a while and see cliques coming and going, and the forum is tough when you can see other people having a good time especially when you're not.

Don't give up, you just need to find your people. They're out there

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home?

What do they need to break into if there is no clique?

Marc"

Very good point well made. Exactly if there was no clique everyone woukd be replied to and never overlooked

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I join?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"any viable orifice?"

Bows down to the forumite who got 5 sweet Taskmaster points for use of language. It was well deserved.

J

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home?

What do they need to break into if there is no clique?

Marc"

I didn't say that they needed to break into anything - it sounds like they feel like they can't break into the clique which they believe is there.

Whether or not I think there is - which I didn't say anywhere above - it's a crap feeling when someone feels like an outsider and wants to join in. That's what I was commenting on.

Good attempt though.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *omtom7Man
over a year ago

Tralee

[Removed by poster at 01/06/23 23:11:58]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *omtom7Man
over a year ago

Tralee

Meli please let me in

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham


"Could be but we’ve tried the nicely nicely and the straight to the point messages too

But, there are hundreds of women that are within a reasonable distance, that you fit the preferences of and fit your own preferences according to their profile?

Shit man. You must live in unicorn central. "

Really? Have you actual seen it from the other side ?

Can we somehow show you ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I join? "

The AGM finished just after 11.02, so you will now need to wait another year.

Next years AGM will be at the bus stop for the 221 near Bounds Green station, an earlier start at 10.42 on 31 May.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I think Fab is a reflection of life OPs. Some people are kind and welcoming of newcomers and some aren’t. I know which side of the fence I sit and I’m happy with it. Either way. Don’t let it worry you. Enjoy the forums, the swinging scene and most of all do your own thing. It’s all about having fun and making friends. Enjoy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

its a clique

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home?

What do they need to break into if there is no clique?

Marc

I didn't say that they needed to break into anything - it sounds like they feel like they can't break into the clique which they believe is there.

Whether or not I think there is - which I didn't say anywhere above - it's a crap feeling when someone feels like an outsider and wants to join in. That's what I was commenting on.

Good attempt though. "

Is it not about the rhetoric used Meli? ' Can't break in' suggests that there is a closed knit tight group, which in its essence is a clique.

Let's have it right and call it for what it is, it is clicky as fuck on the forums, those that are actively fauned over and those that do the fauning are included to greater extent than those who do not. People don't call out bullshit, because they want to be accepted and not upset the apple cart incase there not included or damn right ostracised.

Bear in mind this is my perspective, but also I speak my mind bluntly. But also please bear in mind my perspective is based on observation of behaviour.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London


"There's still a clique? But I left ages ago!

You were voted out if you remember. You can try and spin it as leaving, but as I recall you had your thong unceremoniously ripped from your pert buttocks and shredded before your very eyes, with the warning that should you return even more vile consequences would follow. "

People did fucking hate me to be fair haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *irtyKittenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

To sum up how this works for you both.

In order of how difficult 1 being easiest 7 being hardest.

1 - single male to play with wife on her own.

2 - single male to play with you both.

3 - a couple to play with you both

4 - a single female to play with your wife.

5 - a single male to play with your husband.

6 - a single female to play with your husband.

7 - a single female to play with you both.

Try the above and you will see what we mean.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *litteasingManMan
over a year ago

Thereabouts


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"

But you rejected my offer

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire


"There's still a clique? But I left ages ago!

You were voted out if you remember. You can try and spin it as leaving, but as I recall you had your thong unceremoniously ripped from your pert buttocks and shredded before your very eyes, with the warning that should you return even more vile consequences would follow.

People did fucking hate me to be fair haha"
,, your a young man that likes a bit fun fair play,,

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Rumour has it that the clique has been here since 2014.

I believe they walk among us...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"There's still a clique? But I left ages ago!

You were voted out if you remember. You can try and spin it as leaving, but as I recall you had your thong unceremoniously ripped from your pert buttocks and shredded before your very eyes, with the warning that should you return even more vile consequences would follow.

People did fucking hate me to be fair haha"

I didn’t

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Could be but we’ve tried the nicely nicely and the straight to the point messages too

But, there are hundreds of women that are within a reasonable distance, that you fit the preferences of and fit your own preferences according to their profile?

Shit man. You must live in unicorn central.

Really? Have you actual seen it from the other side ?

Can we somehow show you ?"

OP, I can only comment from what I've seen here on the forums but most single ladies prefer to go to clubs. It is a cheap and safe way for them to find what they want and it's likely what I'd do in the same boat. Is your profile doing what it needs to? Are you photos the best they can be? Is the text appealing to a single woman or is it just what you want them to do for you?

I don't think you're talking about the forums being cliquey but they're not. Which is why lots of people have replied to this post giving you advice.

Jx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *litteasingManMan
over a year ago

Thereabouts


"We know the ratio for us in one in a million but thank you for commenting "

Try being a single guy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"To sum up how this works for you both.

In order of how difficult 1 being easiest 7 being hardest.

1 - single male to play with wife on her own.

2 - single male to play with you both.

3 - a couple to play with you both

4 - a single female to play with your wife.

5 - a single male to play with your husband.

6 - a single female to play with your husband.

7 - a single female to play with you both.

Try the above and you will see what we mean."

This is pretty accurate I would say. And very helpful to people starting out in swinging. Nice post xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people leap onto the word clique when in reality its a handful of people who have put time +effort into getting to know each othet. I don't think they can have any hand in your success with finding a female to join you or not?

Whilst its a swingers site, its not a guaranteed sex site.. There are so many variables.. I do sometimes wonder that anyone meets at all

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home?

What do they need to break into if there is no clique?

Marc

I didn't say that they needed to break into anything - it sounds like they feel like they can't break into the clique which they believe is there.

Whether or not I think there is - which I didn't say anywhere above - it's a crap feeling when someone feels like an outsider and wants to join in. That's what I was commenting on.

Good attempt though.

Is it not about the rhetoric used Meli? ' Can't break in' suggests that there is a closed knit tight group, which in its essence is a clique.

Let's have it right and call it for what it is, it is clicky as fuck on the forums, those that are actively fauned over and those that do the fauning are included to greater extent than those who do not. People don't call out bullshit, because they want to be accepted and not upset the apple cart incase there not included or damn right ostracised.

Bear in mind this is my perspective, but also I speak my mind bluntly. But also please bear in mind my perspective is based on observation of behaviour."

A man got his critical analysis hat on today lol.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

I'm in a clique of one. Even my mirror got rejected.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home?

What do they need to break into if there is no clique?

Marc

I didn't say that they needed to break into anything - it sounds like they feel like they can't break into the clique which they believe is there.

Whether or not I think there is - which I didn't say anywhere above - it's a crap feeling when someone feels like an outsider and wants to join in. That's what I was commenting on.

Good attempt though.

Is it not about the rhetoric used Meli? ' Can't break in' suggests that there is a closed knit tight group, which in its essence is a clique.

Let's have it right and call it for what it is, it is clicky as fuck on the forums, those that are actively fauned over and those that do the fauning are included to greater extent than those who do not. People don't call out bullshit, because they want to be accepted and not upset the apple cart incase there not included or damn right ostracised.

Bear in mind this is my perspective, but also I speak my mind bluntly. But also please bear in mind my perspective is based on observation of behaviour."

You're completely missing the point, with all respect.

I was sympathising with the OP.

Based on their opening post, they feel like they can't break into something. I really don't know how to make it clearer.

The OP believes there's a clique and they are on the outside.

Regardless of my thoughts on the existence of a clique (which I did not say there was or wasn't) - it's crap when people feel like they can't join in something they want to.

That was my opening post. No hidden meaning. No opinion given on my personal stance about a clique or no clique.

Really quite simple.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

People did fucking hate me to be fair haha"

Not the answer I was expecting. I shall go and put on sackcloth and ashes as a sign of my penitence

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home?

What do they need to break into if there is no clique?

Marc

I didn't say that they needed to break into anything - it sounds like they feel like they can't break into the clique which they believe is there.

Whether or not I think there is - which I didn't say anywhere above - it's a crap feeling when someone feels like an outsider and wants to join in. That's what I was commenting on.

Good attempt though.

Is it not about the rhetoric used Meli? ' Can't break in' suggests that there is a closed knit tight group, which in its essence is a clique.

Let's have it right and call it for what it is, it is clicky as fuck on the forums, those that are actively fauned over and those that do the fauning are included to greater extent than those who do not. People don't call out bullshit, because they want to be accepted and not upset the apple cart incase there not included or damn right ostracised.

Bear in mind this is my perspective, but also I speak my mind bluntly. But also please bear in mind my perspective is based on observation of behaviour.

A man got his critical analysis hat on today lol. "

Far from a critical hat, just years of experience of using the forums so have some evidence to back up what I say.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TBF though, i met a woman outside xtasia one night & she showed me her inbox on fab & the amount of messages that came pouring through within 10 minutes was INSANE lol made me realise what women go through on here

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

And I also don't know why I'm giving so much energy on a Thursday night to a discussion that'll be forgotten by the weekend.

Op, I hope things improve for you - there are people on here who are happy to interact with newbies. Not everyone on the fora wants to. I hope you have more interactions with those who do, x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"
Nope it's people being people. If you view everything as a clique. Your confidence is a issue. Just say fuck it if they don't like you just move on. You don't need anyone's acceptance. Just to fit in.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ? Nope it's people being people. If you view everything as a clique. Your confidence is a issue. Just say fuck it if they don't like you just move on. You don't need anyone's acceptance. Just to fit in. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"TBF though, i met a woman outside xtasia one night & she showed me her inbox on fab & the amount of messages that came pouring through within 10 minutes was INSANE lol made me realise what women go through on here"

I thought the story was going in a different direction

"Showed me her inbox" (euphemism)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ? Nope it's people being people. If you view everything as a clique. Your confidence is a issue. Just say fuck it if they don't like you just move on. You don't need anyone's acceptance. Just to fit in. "
,,, exactly that fuck it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

If you read the OPs post their not even talking about the forums. It would be helpful if everyone stopped projecting their own experience of clique or lack of. Including me.

Jx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

They're.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And I also don't know why I'm giving so much energy on a Thursday night to a discussion that'll be forgotten by the weekend.

Op, I hope things improve for you - there are people on here who are happy to interact with newbies. Not everyone on the fora wants to. I hope you have more interactions with those who do, x"

You're OK Meli. You always come across in your posts as kind and friendly.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"TBF though, i met a woman outside xtasia one night & she showed me her inbox on fab & the amount of messages that came pouring through within 10 minutes was INSANE lol made me realise what women go through on here

I thought the story was going in a different direction

"Showed me her inbox" (euphemism) "

Lmao

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Could be but we’ve tried the nicely nicely and the straight to the point messages too

But, there are hundreds of women that are within a reasonable distance, that you fit the preferences of and fit your own preferences according to their profile?

Shit man. You must live in unicorn central.

Really? Have you actual seen it from the other side ?

Can we somehow show you ?"

Yes, I have. I've had couples profiles with previous partners before.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home?

What do they need to break into if there is no clique?

Marc

I didn't say that they needed to break into anything - it sounds like they feel like they can't break into the clique which they believe is there.

Whether or not I think there is - which I didn't say anywhere above - it's a crap feeling when someone feels like an outsider and wants to join in. That's what I was commenting on.

Good attempt though.

Is it not about the rhetoric used Meli? ' Can't break in' suggests that there is a closed knit tight group, which in its essence is a clique.

Let's have it right and call it for what it is, it is clicky as fuck on the forums, those that are actively fauned over and those that do the fauning are included to greater extent than those who do not. People don't call out bullshit, because they want to be accepted and not upset the apple cart incase there not included or damn right ostracised.

Bear in mind this is my perspective, but also I speak my mind bluntly. But also please bear in mind my perspective is based on observation of behaviour.

You're completely missing the point, with all respect.

I was sympathising with the OP.

Based on their opening post, they feel like they can't break into something. I really don't know how to make it clearer.

The OP believes there's a clique and they are on the outside.

Regardless of my thoughts on the existence of a clique (which I did not say there was or wasn't) - it's crap when people feel like they can't join in something they want to.

That was my opening post. No hidden meaning. No opinion given on my personal stance about a clique or no clique.

Really quite simple."

You can wrap it up in what ever stance you like, I didnt suggest you gave a personal opinion on an internal forum clique...I was merely pointing out the rhetoric used can be deemed like there is a clique...we can debate this all day long and very happy to. You mentioned breaking into something, which suggests your opinion in its self, as bit of a word Smith yourself, you understand the gravitas and the power of words. And how these can be interpreted by others...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham


"If you read the OPs post their not even talking about the forums. It would be helpful if everyone stopped projecting their own experience of clique or lack of. Including me.

Jx"

Thank you

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Nah. People naturally associate with others who they're comfortable with but it doesn't mean that newcomers aren't as able to find those who are like-minded amongst them, as those that are already there. If there are closed groups, they are making it clear that they're not fit for us.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"You can wrap it up in what ever stance you like, I didnt suggest you gave a personal opinion on an internal forum clique...I was merely pointing out the rhetoric used can be deemed like there is a clique...we can debate this all day long and very happy to. You mentioned breaking into something, which suggests your opinion in its self, as bit of a word Smith yourself, you understand the gravitas and the power of words. And how these can be interpreted by others..."

Aww.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

[Removed by poster at 01/06/23 23:37:08]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"You can wrap it up in what ever stance you like, I didnt suggest you gave a personal opinion on an internal forum clique...I was merely pointing out the rhetoric used can be deemed like there is a clique...we can debate this all day long and very happy to. You mentioned breaking into something, which suggests your opinion in its self, as bit of a word Smith yourself, you understand the gravitas and the power of words. And how these can be interpreted by others...

Aww."

Pmsl

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's so so easy. Find people that you are comfortable with. Just because some people needs to have a social acceptance to feel good about themselves. They are just projecting just as you are to feel acceptable. Everyone does it. I seen buff guys claiming they are Alpha males no you are not. Just go look at the hot photos. The Fab me if ? Is hilarious. Don't feel bad OP just sit back and look at the carnage that people do just to feel special. Fuck off if you don't like me this is not TiK Tok.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"You can wrap it up in what ever stance you like, I didnt suggest you gave a personal opinion on an internal forum clique...I was merely pointing out the rhetoric used can be deemed like there is a clique...we can debate this all day long and very happy to. You mentioned breaking into something, which suggests your opinion in its self, as bit of a word Smith yourself, you understand the gravitas and the power of words. And how these can be interpreted by others...

Aww."

Ghandi. You're lovely. No hard feelings. The OP understood my intent, that's enough for me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A clique on the whole of fab?

Oh shit.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that who the forum clique answer to?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"You can wrap it up in what ever stance you like, I didnt suggest you gave a personal opinion on an internal forum clique...I was merely pointing out the rhetoric used can be deemed like there is a clique...we can debate this all day long and very happy to. You mentioned breaking into something, which suggests your opinion in its self, as bit of a word Smith yourself, you understand the gravitas and the power of words. And how these can be interpreted by others...

Aww.

Ghandi. You're lovely. No hard feelings. The OP understood my intent, that's enough for me.

"

Never any hard feelings Meli, lifes to short for that shit man

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A clique on the whole of fab?

Oh shit. "
nice beard

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham


"It's so so easy. Find people that you are comfortable with. Just because some people needs to have a social acceptance to feel good about themselves. They are just projecting just as you are to feel acceptable. Everyone does it. I seen buff guys claiming they are Alpha males no you are not. Just go look at the hot photos. The Fab me if ? Is hilarious. Don't feel bad OP just sit back and look at the carnage that people do just to feel special. Fuck off if you don't like me this is not TiK Tok."

Love this, thank you x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread came with a side of drama.

Yummy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A clique on the whole of fab?

Oh shit. nice beard "

Thank you thank you

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A clique on the whole of fab?

Oh shit. nice beard

Thank you thank you "

Nice shirt

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Is that who the forum clique answer to? "

Nods in the style of patronising Wonka meme. Which my phone corrected to Wonko because I'm on fab too much

J

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"its like the free masons secret hand shakes and all that shit,, kidding"

I love the ‘kidding’

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"Is that who the forum clique answer to?

Nods in the style of patronising Wonka meme. Which my phone corrected to Wonko because I'm on fab too much

J"

Too much holiday. Fact

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is that who the forum clique answer to?

Nods in the style of patronising Wonka meme. Which my phone corrected to Wonko because I'm on fab too much

J"

Or because wonko is gargantuan! Legend.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"
most definitely. I’ve just messaged you x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Is that who the forum clique answer to?

Nods in the style of patronising Wonka meme. Which my phone corrected to Wonko because I'm on fab too much

J

Too much holiday. Fact "

No. Such. Thing. Although this Summer will be my first 5 week break on fab. Maybe it is a thing...

J

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Is that who the forum clique answer to?

Nods in the style of patronising Wonka meme. Which my phone corrected to Wonko because I'm on fab too much

J

Or because wonko is gargantuan! Legend.

"

Nah, he unfriended me. Twice. He has to make the first move this time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"Is that who the forum clique answer to?

Nods in the style of patronising Wonka meme. Which my phone corrected to Wonko because I'm on fab too much

J

Too much holiday. Fact

No. Such. Thing. Although this Summer will be my first 5 week break on fab. Maybe it is a thing...

J"

I’m just jealous… I’m enjoying my 4 days off. And you enjoy it too. But pace yourself otherwise your phone might start changing words to cub and cock like mine does

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is that who the forum clique answer to?

Nods in the style of patronising Wonka meme. Which my phone corrected to Wonko because I'm on fab too much

J

Or because wonko is gargantuan! Legend.

Nah, he unfriended me. Twice. He has to make the first move this time. "

Have you tried blocking him? He loves that

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Is that who the forum clique answer to?

Nods in the style of patronising Wonka meme. Which my phone corrected to Wonko because I'm on fab too much

J

Or because wonko is gargantuan! Legend.

Nah, he unfriended me. Twice. He has to make the first move this time.

Have you tried blocking him? He loves that"

I'm far too contrary for that.

J

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Is that who the forum clique answer to?

Nods in the style of patronising Wonka meme. Which my phone corrected to Wonko because I'm on fab too much

J

Or because wonko is gargantuan! Legend.

Nah, he unfriended me. Twice. He has to make the first move this time.

Have you tried blocking him? He loves that"

Ugh. Far too much grumbling on that approach.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don’t think there’s a clique just thousands of couples all looking for ffm"

if your a straight couple looking to meet another couple, they usually want the fem to be bi.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *elshcouple18Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff


"You're not meant to mention the clique, otherwise you'll never get in.

However, I did hear that ronight at 10.53 they are holding their AGM by the large bus stop for the 251 on Totteridge Common, so if you are quick and have your nomination papers duly signed, you might get a chance of joining them.

We have to be naked for this right?

And not take anyone's eyes out in the process."
can we form a clique??

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"

OP, firstly can I say love the pics, you come across lovely, friendly and playful with a sense of humour.

How did you get on the first time you were here? Did you use the site just for meets or did you venture into the forums too?

I think the word clique rattles people, there are circles of friends that have met, that have formed friendships or are forming something more, it can come across like other people are excluded but

They are not, they are included but it takes time and effort on both parts. Don't give up, we have a laugh on here for some it's fun, jokes and a distraction for a while but it can lead to finding someone that wants what you want and that leads to private messages that could lead to more.

Maybe I'm naive, I'm sure someone will say I talk bullshit lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *urve_your_enthusiasmWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

There are definitely cliques! I find that most of the time my messages are ignored on forums but it's ok, I can still enjoy them. Each to their own. I get that people have friendships etc but could make an effort to include others.

My worst experience was at a club recently. The hostess of that event clearly wanted to just chat with her friends and didn't even say hello or anything to me. Even when I was stood next to her at the bar and clearly on my own not knowing anybody.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yndz n daz OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?

OP, firstly can I say love the pics, you come across lovely, friendly and playful with a sense of humour.

How did you get on the first time you were here? Did you use the site just for meets or did you venture into the forums too?

I think the word clique rattles people, there are circles of friends that have met, that have formed friendships or are forming something more, it can come across like other people are excluded but

They are not, they are included but it takes time and effort on both parts. Don't give up, we have a laugh on here for some it's fun, jokes and a distraction for a while but it can lead to finding someone that wants what you want and that leads to private messages that could lead to more.

Maybe I'm naive, I'm sure someone will say I talk bullshit lol"

Hi, we actually came off as the Mrs brother in law saw us on and make some smart comment about it…. How do you tell your sister that your man is… one on here and two perving over his sister eek….. hopefully he’s not still I here £)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

I fail to see the correlation of cliques and having no success on here.

In any case I wish you all the best, OP.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I fail to see the correlation of cliques and having no success on here.

In any case I wish you all the best, OP."
nice shoes

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oddess NailaWoman
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 02/06/23 00:40:34]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?

OP, firstly can I say love the pics, you come across lovely, friendly and playful with a sense of humour.

How did you get on the first time you were here? Did you use the site just for meets or did you venture into the forums too?

I think the word clique rattles people, there are circles of friends that have met, that have formed friendships or are forming something more, it can come across like other people are excluded but

They are not, they are included but it takes time and effort on both parts. Don't give up, we have a laugh on here for some it's fun, jokes and a distraction for a while but it can lead to finding someone that wants what you want and that leads to private messages that could lead to more.

Maybe I'm naive, I'm sure someone will say I talk bullshit lol

Hi, we actually came off as the Mrs brother in law saw us on and make some smart comment about it…. How do you tell your sister that your man is… one on here and two perving over his sister eek….. hopefully he’s not still I here £)"

Oh wow! But then they would be on here too to see you. Have you set your filters to stop, but then, it's your thing, your choice so don't let that put you off.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What charming people we have on this site

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest


"We are not daft, we know there more women on here and more couples too looking for fun but when we look through our local search and message hundreds of women, maybe we go back to the age thing…."

That's not a clique that's a preference, like you have 30-60 on yours.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair


"I fail to see the correlation of cliques and having no success on here.

In any case I wish you all the best, OP.

·

nice shoes "

•

Blu' Blu', don't ever change.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aximum_funMan
over a year ago

West Herts

[Removed by poster at 02/06/23 01:11:53]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I fail to see the correlation of cliques and having no success on here.

In any case I wish you all the best, OP.

·

nice shoes

•

Blu' Blu', don't ever change. "
Never!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?

If it feels like a clique and walks like a clique... Its a clique"

I walk stiffly and my knees clique can I join?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We know the ratio for us in one in a million but thank you for commenting "

One in a million?!?! So you’re saying there’s still a chance!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"

So we've been on here a couple of years now. It's my (mrs) first experience of swinging. Mr used to be on as a single man. I used to think there was a bit of a clique but soon realised that if you're not willing to chat in the forums then it will be the same ones interacting with each other, but hey, the same could be said for facebook groups....

As for saying you feel ugly. You are a good looking couple! Don't put yourselves down. Try going to local socials and you'll meet more people. Although I feel you already know this if you've been on before? Just my opinion as a reasonable newbie to the scene ....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ermaidTWoman
over a year ago

and around..fresh waters

Rather than spending hours trawling through profiles and getting nowhere venture to a social or a club night. Nearly every club on a Saturday is geared to couples and single ladies.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also age has nothing to do with it, but looking for just women? Good luck with that....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rather than spending hours trawling through profiles and getting nowhere venture to a social or a club night. Nearly every club on a Saturday is geared to couples and single ladies."

When are they geared for men? Out of interest. Serious question.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Forum life definitely doesn't reflect what really goes on fab. You're right, there's a clique on forum but definitely not on fab. All sorts of people get together. If you're looking for FFM then the chances are slim. The chances at club are even slimmer as you potentially meet less people in clubs than you would on fab. The choices is much greater online so my advice is ignore the people that come on forum just to monk others and just keep trying. Takes me ages to find someone I like but not totally impossible so I don't give up hope. Nor should you. Good luck op

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Forum life definitely doesn't reflect what really goes on fab. You're right, there's a clique on forum but definitely not on fab. All sorts of people get together. If you're looking for FFM then the chances are slim. The chances at club are even slimmer as you potentially meet less people in clubs than you would on fab. The choices is much greater online so my advice is ignore the people that come on forum just to monk others and just keep trying. Takes me ages to find someone I like but not totally impossible so I don't give up hope. Nor should you. Good luck op "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey OP, click the 'Reply +quote', when responding to a post, that way we all know to which you are responding.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey OP, click the 'Reply +quote', when responding to a post, that way we all know to which you are responding. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women are already the minority here, then narrowing down the age you seek, plus looking for only non smokers.

That pool has shrunk, somewhat.

Add to that, there has to be a three way attraction.

It's maths that is making it difficult for you to find a meet.

Keep looking, keep trying, and you might just strike lucky.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like life in general, what you get out of this site is proportionate to the effort you put in "

Outside your age filters but l just gotta say what a profile, l was in stitches laughing.. absolutely brilliant and so funny ..have a great day beautiful.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

There may or may not be a bit of a clique in the forums, but that's a tiny percentage of the swinging scene. There are thousands of members on here, and more out there in real life!

Majority on here don't even know about the forums.

So you're wasting your energy on a v small group of people that you think don't want to be your friends.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Some people see cliques everywhere they go while others see none.

It's often said that the word is used exclusively by those who feel excluded which is possibly true.

My experience is that there are definitely groups of people who chat regularly and don't realise they aren't as inclusive as they believe but there are also particular groups who exist simply to exclude.

That's a whole different kettle of piranha though.

I've never had an issue connecting with people I'm interested in here and I've never had an issue not connecting with those I'm not interested in.

Messaging hundreds of women is something many single guys are mocked for because they are just throwing everything at the wall and hoping something sticks.

Like anyone wishing to be successful here and hoping to make long term connections it's all about attitude and respect.

Too much of the former and not enough of the latter rarely gets a positive reply regardless of who is sending the message.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Jukebox is fucked again I see.

The mr

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a little too amused by the feather ruffling that goes on after someone calls clique

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"
you look lovely in your pics i wouldn't give up

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rooperRedMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton


"Like life in general, what you get out of this site is proportionate to the effort you put in "

Definitely not the case here. Be active on the forums, send decent, coherent messages, have a proper profile with face pic, and you still won't get anything. I found your profile very funny, and I think I would have been a decent match for your criteria, but I'm five years too old.

Then you see two line profiles with a dick pic as the main photo and 25 veris. They didn't put in more effort, they got lucky.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

It makes little difference im not online enough to care either way

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ?"

Yes, give up.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

There’s usually a clique, but the clique varies.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iss_Cali_xxCouple
over a year ago

Herne Bay

I must be oblivious, I've never noticed a clique on here, tho I have noticed there is definitely a 'clubs only' crowd, and tbf, I totally understand why a lot of people, particularly women, do clubs only.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle


"Thank you for your reply but I revert to one I posted earlier relating to age? Why is 50 considered out of bounds ? Aren’t you as old as you feel ?"

No - You are as old as the person that won't fuck you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.


"Like life in general, what you get out of this site is proportionate to the effort you put in

Definitely not the case here. Be active on the forums, send decent, coherent messages, have a proper profile with face pic, and you still won't get anything. I found your profile very funny, and I think I would have been a decent match for your criteria, but I'm five years too old.

Then you see two line profiles with a dick pic as the main photo and 25 veris. They didn't put in more effort, they got lucky."

If they have a dick pic as a main photo and have 25 veris then often you will find they put in quite a lot of effort by attending clubs and social events, it's how many people get veris and networking through fab can open so many doors, rather than just waiting for people to come to you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle


"Thank you for your reply but I revert to one I posted earlier relating to age? Why is 50 considered out of bounds ? Aren’t you as old as you feel ?

No - You are as old as the person that won't fuck you. "
says you are ........

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

I don’t know why this is such a thing - this is a social platform as much as it is anything else. People are more active than others and naturally form friendships or a bit of banter through forums, call it a clique if you like but I find this a tad ‘school yard’ language, we’re all adults and personally I’m not here to be liked by everyone.

We’ve all got a voice - put yourself out there, those interested will listen those who aren’t will move along (despite the odd one or two who will put there tuppence worth in anyway) just do you x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like life in general, what you get out of this site is proportionate to the effort you put in

Definitely not the case here. Be active on the forums, send decent, coherent messages, have a proper profile with face pic, and you still won't get anything. I found your profile very funny, and I think I would have been a decent match for your criteria, but I'm five years too old.

Then you see two line profiles with a dick pic as the main photo and 25 veris. They didn't put in more effort, they got lucky."

Maybe the effort was put into their messaging.

Though yes, sometimes it's the right time, right place kind of thing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Barrhead

Spme people view friends groups a scliques wnen that isnt the case at all, just people with common knterests.

you aleeady have 2 verifications, thats hardly, no on interested.

Get Hubby to join as a single guy and you will get a better indicaton of what being ignored really feels llke.

having said that

good luck, have fun

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can seem that way sometimes but it’s just friends having a chat in an open forum! We felt a bit like that for quite a while on here but after chatting to quite a lot of the forum regulars over PM, we’ve come to realise there’s no such thing and it’s just regular contributors having a catch up

Mr

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle


"There's lots of action going on but yeah, when it feels like you can't break in, it must feel a bit cliquey.

You're not going to get offers coming in from single women. Well a few maybe but not a steady stream. Rather than looking at external factors affecting the number of offers, have you looked at things... maybe closer to home?

What do they need to break into if there is no clique?

Marc

I didn't say that they needed to break into anything - it sounds like they feel like they can't break into the clique which they believe is there.

Whether or not I think there is - which I didn't say anywhere above - it's a crap feeling when someone feels like an outsider and wants to join in. That's what I was commenting on.

Good attempt though.

Is it not about the rhetoric used Meli? ' Can't break in' suggests that there is a closed knit tight group, which in its essence is a clique.

Let's have it right and call it for what it is, it is clicky as fuck on the forums, those that are actively fauned over and those that do the fauning are included to greater extent than those who do not. People don't call out bullshit, because they want to be accepted and not upset the apple cart incase there not included or damn right ostracised.

Bear in mind this is my perspective, but also I speak my mind bluntly. But also please bear in mind my perspective is based on observation of behaviour."

More than likely what you want to observe. Not all observations are visual and when people don't get what they want ...... they look outwards , point fingers and look for external reasons for why they can't get what they want.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would there being a clique hinder your chances of finding what you’re looking for anyway?. There’s thousands of other members on fab who never venture into these forums.

Don’t give up, reach out to those you want to connect with and eventually you’ll find what you’re looking for. It all takes time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t know why this is such a thing - this is a social platform as much as it is anything else. People are more active than others and naturally form friendships or a bit of banter through forums, call it a clique if you like but I find this a tad ‘school yard’ language, we’re all adults and personally I’m not here to be liked by everyone.

We’ve all got a voice - put yourself out there, those interested will listen those who aren’t will move along (despite the odd one or two who will put there tuppence worth in anyway) just do you x"

This

D.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"Rather than spending hours trawling through profiles and getting nowhere venture to a social or a club night. Nearly every club on a Saturday is geared to couples and single ladies.

When are they geared for men? Out of interest. Serious question. "

Bi nights I presume

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

[Removed by poster at 02/06/23 08:36:00]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

The thing is there is probably a 'clique' or indeed several manifestations of in forums, clubs etc. There is probably a 'clique' within the 'clique'. Who cares, just be you and plenty of decent 'clique free' people about to connect with. All the best to you

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Fab has thousands of members. That's a bit big for a clique even if only half of them are in it. Even if 10%!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle


"Jukebox is fucked again I see.

The mr "

Did they get another veri ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago

Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston

Not sure there is a clique. I guess some people have met in person so it can seem that way. It’s just they’re friends. Same in clubs. I’ve found others are always friendly if you take the time to chat to them.

Red

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're seeking via the forums you'll probably get nowhere. If you look to the search functions you might find folk actually meeting

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Cliques are everywhere that there are groups of people. A lot of people will unintentionally behave in a way that excludes others some will do it intentionally.

The trick to not feeling left out is to concentrate on those who are also on the margins rather than looking in from the outside and feeling bad

We experienced clique behaviour yesterday at an event we attended (not swinging connected). It does leave a sour taste but it just makes us determined to try never to exclude anyone in a group situation

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Treat fab as a social club op to share thoughts, ideas and humour. Anything else is a bonus.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"This is our second time on fab and still seeing a bit of a clique going on with no action going on. Makes you feel ugly and worthless when no offers come in, shall we give up ? Nope it's people being people. If you view everything as a clique. Your confidence is an issue. Just say fuck it if they don't like you just move on. You don't need anyone's acceptance. Just to fit in. "

Absolutely this

There are cliques, or; ‘established groups of friends’, in Fab, and they’re mostly formed through the clubs scene then roll over in to the forums. You can either get involved, or choose to avoid them. There’s plenty of people in here having fun without feeling the need to run with the herd. You do Fab your way, it’s all good

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rather than spending hours trawling through profiles and getting nowhere venture to a social or a club night. Nearly every club on a Saturday is geared to couples and single ladies.

When are they geared for men? Out of interest. Serious question. "

They just aren’t.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

I’ve always found the forums to be cliquey. I mentioned it privately to a couple of forummers (during separate conversations) and they got very touchy about the subject.

I don’t mention it any more.

(Oh, dammit. Too late)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel v sad that I'm trying to get enough of a group together for a rendition of the Backstreet Boys for the next karaoke... So far I've recruited a very reluctant two if I ask them to take their pants off I fear it'll be less

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ootyfruityCouple
over a year ago

andover

We’ve met a few great people from fab, but a lot of time wasters as well, we generally meet people at clubs

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"Rather than spending hours trawling through profiles and getting nowhere venture to a social or a club night. Nearly every club on a Saturday is geared to couples and single ladies.

When are they geared for men? Out of interest. Serious question. "

When the club is struggling financially

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel v sad that I'm trying to get enough of a group together for a rendition of the Backstreet Boys for the next karaoke... So far I've recruited a very reluctant two if I ask them to take their pants off I fear it'll be less "

Rename it Backdoor Boys and you’ll get a better response

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
back to top