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People change.

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By *exyBums22 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

I have a life long friend who since lockdown has changed dramatically. He's gone down the rabbit hole of the internet.

Spending weeks researching conspiracy theories, consuming questionable 'Alpha men' content, spouting right wing propaganda and general transphobia, homophobia and misogyny.

Everything I hate and stand against.

Confrontation drives him deeper and into further isolation.

Is he lost?

I'd be grateful for any advice or opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Let him go.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Check out Steven Hassan, on cults and freedom of mind. His approach is compassionate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a life long friend who since lockdown has changed dramatically. He's gone down the rabbit hole of the internet.

Spending weeks researching conspiracy theories, consuming questionable 'Alpha men' content, spouting right wing propaganda and general transphobia, homophobia and misogyny.

Everything I hate and stand against.

Confrontation drives him deeper and into further isolation.

Is he lost?

I'd be grateful for any advice or opinions.

"

Sounds familiar. I used to get into arguments often with a couple of people over the exact same subjects?

I left Facebook and twitter to leave that bullshit behind, and I leave these people behind too. There’s no changing a persons views I’ve found.

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By *exyBums22 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"Check out Steven Hassan, on cults and freedom of mind. His approach is compassionate."

Yes I know of him. Unfortunately any literature or opposing views are met with rejection.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Check out Steven Hassan, on cults and freedom of mind. His approach is compassionate.

Yes I know of him. Unfortunately any literature or opposing views are met with rejection."

That's fair. He's useful for you, too - to figure out how to manage these relationships and have the highest chance of maintaining or salvaging them

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By *exyBums22 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"I have a life long friend who since lockdown has changed dramatically. He's gone down the rabbit hole of the internet.

Spending weeks researching conspiracy theories, consuming questionable 'Alpha men' content, spouting right wing propaganda and general transphobia, homophobia and misogyny.

Everything I hate and stand against.

Confrontation drives him deeper and into further isolation.

Is he lost?

I'd be grateful for any advice or opinions.

Sounds familiar. I used to get into arguments often with a couple of people over the exact same subjects?

I left Facebook and twitter to leave that bullshit behind, and I leave these people behind too. There’s no changing a persons views I’ve found. "

Yeah I left all that stuff behind years ago. He did not.

He didn't always have these views, it's almost like he's been brainwashed. Is it unlikely he could change back?

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By *ristolmale79Man
over a year ago

Bristol

A couple of my mates did the same thing and come out with the most whacky stuff. They literally take memes and YouTube videos made by random people as gospel. I've noticed a massive surge in people also believing the flat earth theory.....

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By *exyBums22 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"Check out Steven Hassan, on cults and freedom of mind. His approach is compassionate.

Yes I know of him. Unfortunately any literature or opposing views are met with rejection.

That's fair. He's useful for you, too - to figure out how to manage these relationships and have the highest chance of maintaining or salvaging them"

Very true. I feel I'll have to become an expert deprogrammer! Haha

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"I have a life long friend who since lockdown has changed dramatically. He's gone down the rabbit hole of the internet.

Spending weeks researching conspiracy theories, consuming questionable 'Alpha men' content, spouting right wing propaganda and general transphobia, homophobia and misogyny.

Everything I hate and stand against.

Confrontation drives him deeper and into further isolation.

Is he lost?

I'd be grateful for any advice or opinions.

"

Hey, OP.

Any chance he’s single and lives alone? If so, it sounds like he’s lonely and has found something with which he can spend time and make connections.

I agree that all those things are regrettable opinions, but maybe he just needs to see this out. Chances are it’s a phase.

Unless, of course, you think he’s at risk of taking thoughts/actions public?

I’m not surprised he’s rejecting your opposition. It’s his new hobby. Have you tried talking to him about how it makes you feel? Or just asking him not to talk to you about that stuff?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Check out Steven Hassan, on cults and freedom of mind. His approach is compassionate.

Yes I know of him. Unfortunately any literature or opposing views are met with rejection.

That's fair. He's useful for you, too - to figure out how to manage these relationships and have the highest chance of maintaining or salvaging them

Very true. I feel I'll have to become an expert deprogrammer! Haha"

Given this is a growing cultural problem, I suspect we all will

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston

I suppose it is possible but it probably wont be easy or nice. I guess it’s helpful to know the reason why he started to view that sort of content because if its out of character then there must be a reason (not by any means justifying it). It could be something like rejection or going through a tough patch for example. Once you know why you can support him in such areas and maybe it may be enough

It may work or it wont but hes got to want to change or it wont happen im afraid.

I hope everything goes okay as its going to be challenging

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By *exyBums22 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"I have a life long friend who since lockdown has changed dramatically. He's gone down the rabbit hole of the internet.

Spending weeks researching conspiracy theories, consuming questionable 'Alpha men' content, spouting right wing propaganda and general transphobia, homophobia and misogyny.

Everything I hate and stand against.

Confrontation drives him deeper and into further isolation.

Is he lost?

I'd be grateful for any advice or opinions.

Hey, OP.

Any chance he’s single and lives alone? If so, it sounds like he’s lonely and has found something with which he can spend time and make connections.

I agree that all those things are regrettable opinions, but maybe he just needs to see this out. Chances are it’s a phase.

Unless, of course, you think he’s at risk of taking thoughts/actions public?

I’m not surprised he’s rejecting your opposition. It’s his new hobby. Have you tried talking to him about how it makes you feel? Or just asking him not to talk to you about that stuff?"

He's married with kids. He has many people around him that he's chosen to isolate from.

Me and others have tried to reason with him and tell him how it's making us feel. He's stubborn and believes in this stuff so deeply he doesn't care what effect it has on the people around him.

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By *exyBums22 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"Check out Steven Hassan, on cults and freedom of mind. His approach is compassionate.

Yes I know of him. Unfortunately any literature or opposing views are met with rejection.

That's fair. He's useful for you, too - to figure out how to manage these relationships and have the highest chance of maintaining or salvaging them

Very true. I feel I'll have to become an expert deprogrammer! Haha

Given this is a growing cultural problem, I suspect we all will "

Very true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and my best mate of over 25 year fell out during covid. He my son god father, we played at Bolton together and as a friend, have helped him with his house and girls. I never said no if he needed help as he was more like a brother. Then bang he went very strange and distant. Were both single dads so i assumed it was the pressure of covid lock down. We have not spoken for a long time and i have even been the bigger person and spoken to his family etc. Now I been Told he is out all the time and not the same lad. I see friends as life long but maybe that's my down fall?

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By *amish SMan
over a year ago

Eastleigh

It's hard to talk them around, they wait until the wacky prediction / event passes which we all know is not what they predicted. Then just find another wacky or weird theory as to why it failed. These people are in spiral and sadly there seems to be no way out and a plentiful supply of people feeding their minds with crap - usually at a financial cost as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A couple of my mates did the same thing and come out with the most whacky stuff. They literally take memes and YouTube videos made by random people as gospel. I've noticed a massive surge in people also believing the flat earth theory..... "

I'm in Norfolk and now you mention it, it is quite flat round here...

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By *isterE ManMan
over a year ago

Taunton

https://ed.ted.com/lessons/i-grew-up-in-the-westboro-baptist-church-here-s-why-i-left-megan-phelps-roper#review

If you want an insight in how you could, approach getting someone out of indoctrination. Watch Megan Phelps Ropers TED Talk. Listen to her podcasts.

Especialy the J K Rowling series "The Witch Trials of J K Rowling.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-witch-trials-of-j-k-rowling/id1671691064

These are both really worth a watch/listen.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"I have a life long friend who since lockdown has changed dramatically. He's gone down the rabbit hole of the internet.

Spending weeks researching conspiracy theories, consuming questionable 'Alpha men' content, spouting right wing propaganda and general transphobia, homophobia and misogyny.

Everything I hate and stand against.

Confrontation drives him deeper and into further isolation.

Is he lost?

I'd be grateful for any advice or opinions.

"

Walk away.

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By *exyBums22 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"https://ed.ted.com/lessons/i-grew-up-in-the-westboro-baptist-church-here-s-why-i-left-megan-phelps-roper#review

If you want an insight in how you could, approach getting someone out of indoctrination. Watch Megan Phelps Ropers TED Talk. Listen to her podcasts.

Especialy the J K Rowling series "The Witch Trials of J K Rowling.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-witch-trials-of-j-k-rowling/id1671691064

These are both really worth a watch/listen."

These look interesting. Thanks!

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By *exyBums22 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"I have a life long friend who since lockdown has changed dramatically. He's gone down the rabbit hole of the internet.

Spending weeks researching conspiracy theories, consuming questionable 'Alpha men' content, spouting right wing propaganda and general transphobia, homophobia and misogyny.

Everything I hate and stand against.

Confrontation drives him deeper and into further isolation.

Is he lost?

I'd be grateful for any advice or opinions.

Walk away. "

You may be right. But what if there is something I can do. It's hard to give up on someone and walk away.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

People change all the time. Leave them to it if it's not your thing. If they come back they come back.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I have a life long friend who since lockdown has changed dramatically. He's gone down the rabbit hole of the internet.

Spending weeks researching conspiracy theories, consuming questionable 'Alpha men' content, spouting right wing propaganda and general transphobia, homophobia and misogyny.

Everything I hate and stand against.

Confrontation drives him deeper and into further isolation.

Is he lost?

I'd be grateful for any advice or opinions.

Walk away.

You may be right. But what if there is something I can do. It's hard to give up on someone and walk away."

I think you need to figure out how to best spend your limited energy. Some people are worth it, given your relationship. Some people are not.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"I have a life long friend who since lockdown has changed dramatically. He's gone down the rabbit hole of the internet.

Spending weeks researching conspiracy theories, consuming questionable 'Alpha men' content, spouting right wing propaganda and general transphobia, homophobia and misogyny.

Everything I hate and stand against.

Confrontation drives him deeper and into further isolation.

Is he lost?

I'd be grateful for any advice or opinions.

Walk away.

You may be right. But what if there is something I can do. It's hard to give up on someone and walk away."

You are assuming that they want to change. You are assuming they want help.

Are you assuming that for their benefit or yours?

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By *exyBums22 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"I have a life long friend who since lockdown has changed dramatically. He's gone down the rabbit hole of the internet.

Spending weeks researching conspiracy theories, consuming questionable 'Alpha men' content, spouting right wing propaganda and general transphobia, homophobia and misogyny.

Everything I hate and stand against.

Confrontation drives him deeper and into further isolation.

Is he lost?

I'd be grateful for any advice or opinions.

Walk away.

You may be right. But what if there is something I can do. It's hard to give up on someone and walk away.

You are assuming that they want to change. You are assuming they want help.

Are you assuming that for their benefit or yours? "

I don't bloody know lol

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