FabSwingers.com forum: Self esteem issues

By *orny-Shadow OP Man
over a year ago

burnley

So after bad times since august I'm trying to heal and soul search, here I thought people chat and see I not fake or not genuine. But seems I wrong. Can't tell if I just ugly or a failure.or what but very much feels like it right now, with no friends circle and basically housebound as dont drive and being a bouncer weekends are what I work mainly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best piece of advice I can give you buddy is join in, in the forums, let people see a bit of your personality with a bit of banter back and forth it makes fab a friendly place

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Try not to let this site affect your self esteem. If it's getting you down maybe think about having a break.

If you just want to chat then the forums are probably your best bet. I personally don't do 'sexy chat' in messages as I'm rubbish at it and it makes me cringe. Too much mention of the word horny would definitely put me off engaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think this site is easy for single guys in general so the poor response rate is not just you.

Having low self esteem isn't just you either. I think many of us here fight that at times.

My advice is to get involved with the forums for a bit of a giggle or a chance to find people you get along with, but take everything with a pinch of salt.

I get that getting out and about might be difficult but honestly that would do you a lot of good during the week, even if you don't drive.

Good luck

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Fab can affect your self esteem and like the previous poster said if you find it is than maybe take a break and come back when you feel better.

It can be tough to get chats going on here for a plethora of reasons.It doesn't mean anyone is a failure or ugly when they struggle. It's definitely tougher for men on here to get chatting.

People are on here for their own reasons and a thread like this could bring seen more as a reason not to chat rather than one to engage in conversation.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"So after bad times since august I'm trying to heal and soul search, here I thought people chat and see I not fake or not genuine. But seems I wrong. Can't tell if I just ugly or a failure.or what but very much feels like it right now, with no friends circle and basically housebound as dont drive and being a bouncer weekends are what I work mainly."

The first step is being honest with yourself.

Anyone who signs up to this site , signs up for to meet for sex or for social meets with open minded people.

If you really are in need of raising your self esteem try some voluntary work or sign up to some social clubs. There are loads on the net.

If you just want to chat on here then the lounge is the best place but to be honest based on a lot of experience, not a good place.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Self esteem comes from within, if your placing your worth and value on an external thing such as Fab, then your only going to do more damage to your self esteem.

There's a saying, "if we don't go within we go without". Maybe seek some professional help, such as thearpy and look at why there is self esteem issues. And some possible new things you can try...

I build my self esteem and self worth by doing and continuing to do self acts for people. Such as giving my time freely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have self esteem issues, work on them away from this site

As an average bloke, you will receive a lot more rejection here than you receive acceptance

If that is feeding an already delicate mindset, it will just start to feed a self fulfilling prophecy

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I don't think this site is easy for single guys in general so the poor response rate is not just you.

Having low self esteem isn't just you either. I think many of us here fight that at times.

My advice is to get involved with the forums for a bit of a giggle or a chance to find people you get along with, but take everything with a pinch of salt.

I get that getting out and about might be difficult but honestly that would do you a lot of good during the week, even if you don't drive.

Good luck"

We all struggle with self esteem at times, I am currently, hence not wanting to meet anyone new at the moment until I'm in a better place, and I will be, because life isn't static.

I spend most of my time on Fab in the forums, they are a giggle and I'm starting to get to know some people as a result which is great.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

I would STRONGLY advise coming off here if you’re having those issues.

It’ll do NOTHING for your mental health.

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By *lipzer KnicksaffWoman
over a year ago

Up My Own Arse Apparently

"If you have self esteem issues, work on them away from this site

As an average bloke, you will receive a lot more rejection here than you receive acceptance

If that is feeding an already delicate mindset, it will just start to feed a self fulfilling prophecy "

This is not the place for someone with poor self esteem. Especially a guy. Women will at least get some smoke blown up their arse (not necessarily a good thing) but this doesn't happen to guys.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

The first step is being honest with yourself.

Anyone who signs up to this site , signs up for to meet for sex or for social meets with open minded people.

If you really are in need of raising your self esteem try some voluntary work or sign up to some social clubs. There are loads on the net.

If you just want to chat on here then the lounge is the best place but to be honest based on a lot of experience, not a good place.

Definitely agree with Granny in terms of volunteering. There's an Evesham Volunteering group (just looked it up) so why not give them a call to see what you can do. Helping others is a great way to raise self esteem and real life is much better than the Internet for this.

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By *orny-Shadow OP Man
over a year ago

burnley

Thanks all I've got things in place and am doing volentry work at the dogs Trust so there a bonus and I feel useful, just wish I had some chats on here as a few I have then blocked after like a month of messaging but it's a day or two before message back so who knows.

Just don't like feeling ugly and unwanted it's very much a killer.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

As others have said, OP, the forum is your friend here. You'll chat and get to know people casually. Easier said than done, but try not to let messages on Fab to dictate how you feel about yourself - they don't mean much in the grand scheme of things.

But also, and please take this in the spirit it's intended, is there anything in common with the chats you're having and getting blocked? Trying too hard? Being too OTT? I don't know, obviously, but also worth thinking if you could do things differently too.

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By *orny-Shadow OP Man
over a year ago

burnley

Yer true and I do t think there.is as just being me and talking, being.honest and open I find is best policy. Like I'm not go a lie and saying gym all time when I don't but I walk and ride bike. I have started work on arms but nothing uber amazing. And all this to try better myself from a shitty breakup of her cheating while I was at a pow point and said I neglected her when every1 else says that's not the case at all.

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