FabSwingers.com forum: At what point does a joke become offensive?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can it just be dark humour or is it just plain offensive?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

It becomes offensive to me if I find it offensive.

We are all different and different things offend different people

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

What could be offensive to one could be as funny as hell to someone else really

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Depends on the person. I can’t remember ever being offended. Some people constantly look for something to be offended by. Impossible to answer this question really.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

When it offends someone.

I'm a huge fan of dark humour. But not if you don't know how to choose your audience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Comedy is about people not getting things right, getting hurt, being stupid. This lends itself to bushing the boundaries and doing things that everyone perceived to be ‘wrong’

If you try not to offend anyone or anything you’ll have no jokes left. There’s always a butt to any joke

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fairly sure humour isn't allowed on here.

I've read stuff that I've thought was hilarious then realised it wasn't meant as a joke, sometimes it's good to wait a few minutes before posting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"When it offends someone.

I'm a huge fan of dark humour. But not if you don't know how to choose your audience."

Exactly. Know your audience. I know exactly who I can send/forward certain things to and who I can’t and when to keep my opinions to myself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends who's doing the 'joking' . I dont get offended easy if I know the person saying it dont mean any mallace x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rigginintherigginCouple
over a year ago

strummersville

A joke is a joke, whether a joke is considered offensive is personal and subjective.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Can it just be dark humour or is it just plain offensive?"
lots here don't understand humour so humour can be wasted or taken the wrong way, a joke to you can be offensive to somebody else

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Something is perceived to be offensive at the point someone decides to take offence OP.

The ball is always in their court.

There are a whole bunch of societal behaviours which are deemed ‘offensive’ in the grand scheme of things, you could use those as a base to work from.

The best thing though, when considering the offensiveness, or otherwise, of something is ‘know your audience’.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I find it funny it probably is offensive to someone. There’s no bad intentions behind a lot of it but I can’t help but find offensive things funny.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"It becomes offensive to me if I find it offensive.

We are all different and different things offend different people"

This essentially but as PreyToTheFairies says it is about your audience too.

I'll laugh at some dark shit, sometimes it is because I find it funny, sometimes it's a nervous reaction but I also understand how and why some may view it as offensive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"What could be offensive to one could be as funny as hell to someone else really

Pretty much this.

It comes down to the individual

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elsbells2011Couple
over a year ago

fife

I’d say every joke is offensive regardless of topic. Especially in this world we live in nowadays. If 1000 people find it funny but one person is offended then instantly it’s an offensive joke and will be censored some way or another. All the best comics of the generations past had an art of telling borderline offensive jokes but as long as you could keep the majority of the people laughing then this outweighs the offended minority. Sadly things now are turning to the opposite

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"When it offends someone.

I'm a huge fan of dark humour. But not if you don't know how to choose your audience."

Yep. Audience, tone, context are key.

I don't subscribe to the "you can't say anything anymore" theory that I expect will come up at some point in this thread, and think of comedy can and still does push lots of boundaries, even it's not the same as the 1970s (thankfully).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It becomes offensive to me if I find it offensive.

We are all different and different things offend different people"
best answer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

"When it offends someone.

I'm a huge fan of dark humour. But not if you don't know how to choose your audience.

Exactly. Know your audience. I know exactly who I can send/forward certain things to and who I can’t and when to keep my opinions to myself. "
I totally agree,and in the real world a lot also on depends on those little facial expressions of the deliverer and recipient as to determine what is acceptable and what isn't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

When it offends someone.

It's far easier and safer not to say that thing which you think might be funny. That way, no offense can be taken.

My brother-in-law moans about this all the time. "You can't say what you like anymore", he intones.

I usually reply, "Sure you can. But just be prepared to deal with the consequences. Your words are not consequence-free. Read the room before you speak. Weigh your words carefully. Hear them through other's ears and their understandings and sensibilities."

"But I don't know how they will be taken", he further adds.

"None of us truly do. Until we speak them. Filter through the Is it truthful, Is it kind ? Is it helpful ? Those are good initial filters to start with. If you pass those, then proceed with caution. Jokes don't tend to be truthful, often are not kind, and only marginally helpful. At the end of the day, it's a gamble."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a fundamental difference between a thing BEING offensive and a person FEELING offended.

A person can feel any which way they like, doesn't make those feelings right, wrong or otherwise.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icktMan
over a year ago

hockley

"There is a fundamental difference between a thing BEING offensive and a person FEELING offended.

A person can feel any which way they like, doesn't make those feelings right, wrong or otherwise. "

Totally this. It’s ok to say something others class as offensive and it’s ok for them to be offended.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *awpleasureMan
over a year ago

Sutton Coldfield

I do not get offended easily. However it seems acceptable in certain circles to jokingly call a person a nonnce. Or the ohrase "better check his hard drive" etc.

Anything that references that subject as a joke is highly offensive to me.

But we're all different and ghe world would be very boring if we all like and disliked the same things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Can it just be dark humour or is it just plain offensive?"

Its usually based on intent/context rather than content.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When people stop laughing and stand around looking awkward, you've gone too far...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Can it just be dark humour or is it just plain offensive?"

If the whole point of the joke is to be offensive to "somebody"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I agree that people find different things offensive and sometimes far too easily even with what seems like playful banter to mist of us. However,there are people who knowingly go out of their way to provoke and offend and there are lots of them about. I mostly ignore, and certainly will not condone or excuse their behaviour despite my high tolerance to quite diverse sense of humour.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

If you're punching down with zero irony and then defend it as banter or accuse people who didn't find it funny of being snowflakes or WOKE, it's offensive

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

Humour is subjective plain and simple

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"When it offends someone.

I'm a huge fan of dark humour. But not if you don't know how to choose your audience."

This.

There are jokes I will make to my partner or a few close friends that recognise satire and context (which is probably the biggest part of the humour) that I would never dream of making at work, or in these forums.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get some sent from an ex work colleague, had one over the weekend and I replied “That’s bad”..didn’t pass it on either

Really bad taste given what’s happened in Turkey & Syria

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Humour and banter is only funny when all parties involved are laughing.

Beard

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *untime1969Couple
over a year ago

Huddersfield

I wouldn't go and see the Jim Davidson, Roy chubby brown type stuff, but I never found it funny even when they were popular, but really like Frankie Boyle, Jimmy carr, Jim Jefferies etc that some people find too much!

If you're going to get offended don't watch or listen!

If your offended by something don't expect anyone else to care because I for one just don't give a flying fuck! What's the worst thing that's going to happen? You'll be offered,that's it ! Put on your big boy pants and get over it, no one cares!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlelad69Man
over a year ago

clay cross

I’ve got ginger hair so it takes a lot to offend me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Offence is subjective but i think its about intent - there’s a difference between missing the mark and setting out to upset someone intentionally - both can cause someone to take offence but one is innocently and one is deliberately.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ob and DeeWoman
over a year ago

crook

i was out dogging recently and a guy was making jokes at the expense of a guy who had been ill. He started saying that high blood pressure wasnt to blame for this man's problems amongst other things. I told him that i almost died at 23 and lost sight in one eye through my blood pressure that was dangerously high.(i only found out i had it when i became ill) He shut up after that and got into he's car. I found out he isnt a nice person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ongueandgroove555Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

Usually a joke is nearly always offensive as they tend to touch on every conceivable subject. Therefore there will always be someone that loves the joke and someone that thinks it's repulsive. But, the value of the joke is that it can bring attention to sometimes unspoken or unpopular things that otherwise remain hidden.

Think of the court jester in medieval times highlighting the wrongs and frailties if the king, yes it was funny but the jester risked death in his (and yes usually it was a man) ways of pointing out things that were wrong through comedy.

Embrace it while we still have a way of talking with freedom

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't tend to take offence at the joke, I take more offence at being told to 'lighten up, it's only banter'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Comedy will end up a thing of the past due to modern constantly offended brigade

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't tend to take offence at the joke, I take more offence at being told to 'lighten up, it's only banter'

It's only banter if both take it as banter

I hate that term 'it's only banter'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

I hate that term 'it's only banter' "

Agreed.

It seems to be stock reply from some people who believe consequences from their words shouldn't apply to them.

They might as just well say, "It's only thinly-veiled bullying, taunting and unpleasantness".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If you reserve and defend your right to express what to you is humour in the form of a joke you must expect other people to reserve and defend their right to feel offended by it. If *you* take offence because someone doesn't like a joke you probably knew was slightly risky in the first place then I suspect you need to have a bit of a think.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These days it's very very difficult to say a joke because someone .. somehow..is gonna be offended, your action has a reaction, there has been many a time where l could have finished a conversation with a one liner of a joke but didn't as the fallout would have been too much to deal with so it was easier to just let it pass , l do regret not saying them at the time as l thought they would have been funny and inoffensive but believe me it was way easier to just let them pass , nowadays it's as regards telling jokes it's a case of choosing your battles simply because not everyone will find jokes to be jokes .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Depended who listening. Being offended is subjective, it’s personal. What offends one will not offend another. People say “ you can’t say that” but yes! yes you can you can say whatever you like it’s not your problem someone got offended.

The mr

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can it just be dark humour or is it just plain offensive?"

I believe it depends on who is doing with whom, duration of relationship, bonds, and last but not least mood

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

You'll always have some muppet that will take the fun out of life and make it a political issue

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can it just be dark humour or is it just plain offensive?"

The joke isn’t normaly offensive (if it’s humour)

You got offended by it, it’s on you! It’s about time people took responsibility of that. I’m not talking about verbal abuse, I’m talking about humour and the way people can see the funny side of lots of things. Comedians (or anyone telling a joke) tread a fine line and normaly know their audience, but there are some people out there that go hunting for things to be offended by.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every joke is offensive to someone because people have lost their ability to laugh and gained the defense of others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"Can it just be dark humour or is it just plain offensive?"

I remember a similar conversation on here a few years ago.

I suggested offence isn't given, it's taken.

The abuse I got was ridiculous, so many people took offense to it, which kinda proved my point ironically.

Some people will deliberately try to offend me. It's up to me to choose whether to be offended or not.

Australian coming Steve Hughes does a good piece on being offended.

2 pence spent.

Winston

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Having a little chuckle , when I hear the word ‘offensive’, I can’t help bring to mind a certain sketch from ‘Not The Nine O’clock News.

‘You arrested him for being in possession of an offensive wife !’

Showing my age with that show.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atfuckerbristolMan
over a year ago

Wells

‘Jokes’ aren’t offensive. ‘People’ are offended when they hear something which doesn’t accord with their values, tolerances or experiences.

It’s possible to minimise your chance of being offended by knowing these, and not watching comedy which might transgress them. We all have the ultimate edit button at our disposal.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

There’s humour in absolutely anything and everything. You name it there’ll be humour found somewhere within. It takes a good comic that can unlock it to make it sound funny. After that it’s down to yourselves to either laugh or be offended. Or be offended and let out a little snigger?? It’s completely subjective and what makes the world go round.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Can it just be dark humour or is it just plain offensive?"

No joke is offensive in itself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *SCouple81Couple
over a year ago

Between Edinburgh and Scottish Borders

Even if someone is finding a joke offensive it doesn't mean it isn't funny and shouldn't be told.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've felt offended by a joke before now. If it's in a social context and I'm asked why I'm not laughing I say. Often the person telling the joke has misjudged their audience sometimes they've done it deliberately because they think their right to be funny trumps my or anyone else's right to feel offence.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hGlobbitsMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I truly love me some dark humour, but it's got to be done properly. Frankie Boyle is fantastic, for example. There's intelligence behind the (surface level) "offensive" material. There's a point to it beyond just being shocking. What I don't love is easy jokes that just punch down for the sake of it. Far too often I see people trying to justify picking on someone weaker as "just a joke" and suggesting that anyone who objects just has no sense of humour.That's the line, I think.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_TicklersCouple
over a year ago

Havant & Aberdare

When it’s directed at an individual and intended to make fun of them at the expense of their feelings, I used to be 23 stone and heard every fat joke in the book, not funny when the whole room is laughing at you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It becomes offensive, when somebody takes offence to the subject matter, till that point its just dark humour

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

When it's not funny but offensive really! Humour is very subjective! I allways tell someone if I don't find their joke funny! I have a man on here sends me a joke most days on the whole they funny but if they not I would say so x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything will offend someone, even this sentence.

Worry more about if you can justify what you say, not how someone will take it.

Half the time when people take offence it’s just against the person saying it, not even the thing being said.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *J5551959Man
over a year ago

Alford

Every one will have a different tolerance of any particular joke depending on their own circumstances.

Those may be fixed limits or they may change as circumstances change.

We're all different.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread