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"Why your daughters and not your sons? If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. If it's fun and freeing, why wouldn't you want both to partake?" I have no idea if it's fun and freeing it's not something I've ever done. Totally inexperienced tbh Good question regarding why not my son though, and the truthful answer is I don't know Not a cop out just totally inexperienced myself | |||
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"Wouldn't be trying to "talk my kid out" of anything, just point out what I see as the potential pitfalls (and they exist for every lifestyle choice)" My son got involved in smoking pot and I tried to talk him out of it. Would you not do the same? | |||
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" My son got involved in smoking pot and I tried to talk him out of it. Would you not do the same? " That is illegal and swinging isn't | |||
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"It would depend on the maturity of the child, as a teenager I'd maybe encourage them to wait, explain the dangers of people online not being who they think. I'd always encourage trying things but make them aware of the risks involved. Mrs" Sound advice | |||
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"Wouldn't be trying to "talk my kid out" of anything, just point out what I see as the potential pitfalls (and they exist for every lifestyle choice) My son got involved in smoking pot and I tried to talk him out of it. Would you not do the same? " So did mine, I pointed out the potential hazards as I see them - focusing on respiratory issues and mental health - I didn't tell him to stop because I disapprove | |||
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"I'm not a parent and never intend to be, but I encourage everyone to do the things that make them happy so long as they don't harm anyone else." I kind of agree with this but then i agree with other thoughts aired here to | |||
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"Wouldn't be trying to "talk my kid out" of anything, just point out what I see as the potential pitfalls (and they exist for every lifestyle choice) My son got involved in smoking pot and I tried to talk him out of it. Would you not do the same? So did mine, I pointed out the potential hazards as I see them - focusing on respiratory issues and mental health - I didn't tell him to stop because I disapprove" Same here | |||
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"Why your daughters and not your sons? If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. If it's fun and freeing, why wouldn't you want both to partake?" Also I would never want my girls seen by anyone as a sex object Same way I wouldn't want my son treating a girl as a sex object I don't and never will, but when I read what some guys write on tbe forums I wonder if some do Maybe I'm wrong | |||
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"Hi Dad. I want to be a swinger. Not happening to me, even if they decided why would they tell you? Any of us who are, tell our parents? Or did our parents tell us they were? I doubt it " Hyperthetical question | |||
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"I wouldn’t want them to do it and would advise against it. Adults make up their own minds though. I don’t particularly think it’s a great lifestyle and I would want more and better for them. " Agree | |||
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"Why your daughters and not your sons? If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. If it's fun and freeing, why wouldn't you want both to partake? Also I would never want my girls seen by anyone as a sex object Same way I wouldn't want my son treating a girl as a sex object I don't and never will, but when I read what some guys write on tbe forums I wonder if some do Maybe I'm wrong " Their attitude isn't as a result of swinging. | |||
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"I wouldn’t want them to do it and would advise against it. Adults make up their own minds though. I don’t particularly think it’s a great lifestyle and I would want more and better for them. " Thanks I tend to agree | |||
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"Why your daughters and not your sons? If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. If it's fun and freeing, why wouldn't you want both to partake? Also I would never want my girls seen by anyone as a sex object Same way I wouldn't want my son treating a girl as a sex object I don't and never will, but when I read what some guys write on tbe forums I wonder if some do Maybe I'm wrong " Are all women in swinging simply sex objects to you? Are all men incapable of seeing women as whole humans? I'm a very sex positive person. The people who objectify me don't get to come close. Teaching women strength and men how to behave would surely be a better plan than just trying to talk women out of something you clearly think is okay for men by your presence here? | |||
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"Hi Dad. I want to be a swinger. Not happening to me, even if they decided why would they tell you? Any of us who are, tell our parents? Or did our parents tell us they were? I doubt it Hyperthetical question " Oh. Like how much for a bag of chips then | |||
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"The fact they've confided in you shows they're looking for guidance. It's your duty as a responsible parent to exactly that by making them aware of the advantages and disadvantages associated with practice. Goodluck. " It hasn't happened! It's a hyperthetical question....but thx | |||
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"Hi Dad. I want to be a swinger. Not happening to me, even if they decided why would they tell you? Any of us who are, tell our parents? Or did our parents tell us they were? I doubt it Hyperthetical question Oh. Like how much for a bag of chips then " And a battered sausage | |||
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"Why your daughters and not your sons? If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. If it's fun and freeing, why wouldn't you want both to partake? Also I would never want my girls seen by anyone as a sex object Same way I wouldn't want my son treating a girl as a sex object I don't and never will, but when I read what some guys write on tbe forums I wonder if some do Maybe I'm wrong Are all women in swinging simply sex objects to you? Are all men incapable of seeing women as whole humans? I'm a very sex positive person. The people who objectify me don't get to come close. Teaching women strength and men how to behave would surely be a better plan than just trying to talk women out of something you clearly think is okay for men by your presence here?" I think if you read my text (and maybe my bio) you will see that I most definitely do not see ladies as sex objects. I was saying that I believe many men do I also said maybe I'm wrong | |||
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"I think if you read my text (and maybe my bio) you will see that I most definitely do not see ladies as sex objects. I was saying that I believe many men do I also said maybe I'm wrong " Many men see women of sex objects regardless of whether they swing or not though. | |||
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"The fact they've confided in you shows they're looking for guidance. It's your duty as a responsible parent to exactly that by making them aware of the advantages and disadvantages associated with practice. Goodluck. " Exactly x | |||
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"I think if you read my text (and maybe my bio) you will see that I most definitely do not see ladies as sex objects. I was saying that I believe many men do I also said maybe I'm wrong Many men see women of sex objects regardless of whether they swing or not though. " I don't | |||
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"I think if you read my text (and maybe my bio) you will see that I most definitely do not see ladies as sex objects. I was saying that I believe many men do I also said maybe I'm wrong Many men see women of sex objects regardless of whether they swing or not though. I don't " I didn't say you do. The issue is the ingrained gender division. I used to see a guy who was model level beautiful, women on the street looked at him like he was a piece of meat or a trophy to be won. Should he stay out of swinging too to avoid being objectified? | |||
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"Would answer any questions they had about it and help all they wanted me to! But tbh think they would probably not confide such things to me x" Very much what I think my kids would be like. I hope thought days of treating ladies or men different as far as them saying they want enjoy sex etc had changed . We not in1950s saying men that have one night's stands studs and ladies that do tarts anymore. | |||
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"Why your daughters and not your sons? If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. If it's fun and freeing, why wouldn't you want both to partake? Also I would never want my girls seen by anyone as a sex object Same way I wouldn't want my son treating a girl as a sex object I don't and never will, but when I read what some guys write on tbe forums I wonder if some do Maybe I'm wrong Are all women in swinging simply sex objects to you? Are all men incapable of seeing women as whole humans? I'm a very sex positive person. The people who objectify me don't get to come close. Teaching women strength and men how to behave would surely be a better plan than just trying to talk women out of something you clearly think is okay for men by your presence here?" Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children | |||
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"Your son or daughter reaches maturity and confides in you that they want a swinging lifestyle Would you be okay with that? What advice would you give them? For me I would be more inclined to try to talk my daughters out of it. But their choice at the end of the day " No i wouldnt be ok with it to be honest. I would encourage them instead to cultivate a stable loving monogamous relationship as i believe getting them in that frame of mind will be better for them in the long run I would discourage them from engaging in casual sex | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children " Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids? | |||
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"That said as they grow up into there own adult self I wouldn't want them be on a site like this but I certainly wouldn't force that view on them and be a hypocrite " You wouldn’t want them to be like you ? They probably know that, kids are influenced mostly by what they see not what you tell them , especially if the two are different , they will tend to ignore what you say | |||
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"Why your daughters and not your sons? If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. If it's fun and freeing, why wouldn't you want both to partake? I have no idea if it's fun and freeing it's not something I've ever done. Totally inexperienced tbh Good question regarding why not my son though, and the truthful answer is I don't know Not a cop out just totally inexperienced myself " Probably because you don't see it as safe for your daughters. Miss S x | |||
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"My job, as a parent, is to bring them up to be independent, morally and socially aware, to make informed choices. If they said they wanted to swing, we would have an open and honest discussion, but ultimately it would be their choice. And I would support whichever choice they made. " This Miss S x | |||
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"I would not, I REPEAT, would not want to know. None of my beeswax" My kids are virgins. my grandkids from Virgin births like jesus I away be honest with advice treat boy or girl same just no wish to know | |||
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"Why your daughters and not your sons? If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. If it's fun and freeing, why wouldn't you want both to partake?" I think it's natural for fathers to be more protective of their daughters than their sons. | |||
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"I think it's natural for fathers to be more protective of their daughters than their sons." I've no doubt it is. But it's always good to question why societal norms exist. I'm probably just spikey about being seen as weaker or incapable of looking after myself simply because I was born with ovaries. | |||
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" For me I would be more inclined to try to talk my daughters out of it. But their choice at the end of the day " It sounds like smoking parents trying to explain that smoking is bad to their kids. I have kids and if they come to me about the subject I’ll try to be as neutral as possible with just explaining pros and cons and possible risks and the way to mitigate.. Oh and yeah, will ask to make sure we agree on club visits so we don’t bump into each other at the same club | |||
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"I think it's natural for fathers to be more protective of their daughters than their sons. I've no doubt it is. But it's always good to question why societal norms exist. I'm probably just spikey about being seen as weaker or incapable of looking after myself simply because I was born with ovaries. " Females are definitely not weaker! | |||
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"Your son or daughter reaches maturity and confides in you that they want a swinging lifestyle Would you be okay with that?" Of course. In fact, I would be surprised if either of them opt for monogamy. | |||
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"I think it's natural for fathers to be more protective of their daughters than their sons. I've no doubt it is. But it's always good to question why societal norms exist. I'm probably just spikey about being seen as weaker or incapable of looking after myself simply because I was born with ovaries. " I generally think women are stronger in many ways. Emotionally certainly, financially (as in being far more sensible with money), and definitely sexually. Anyway, back to the topic of the thread. It's a horrible thing to have to accept but there are far more dangers out there for women than for men when it comes to swinging and sex in general. Sexual assault/rape does happpen to men but it's far more common with women. Without getting too much into this, that's why fathers are much more protective of their daughters. | |||
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"It's a horrible thing to have to accept but there are far more dangers out there for women than for men when it comes to swinging and sex in general. Sexual assault/rape does happpen to men but it's far more common with women. Without getting too much into this, that's why fathers are much more protective of their daughters." That can happen anywhere. If anything being more familiar with the landscape and having a better pool of knowledge in the area can only help, surely? I've never had a meet go that way. I have had a relationship go that way. I've had nights out where measures had to be taken to get away from the situation. | |||
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"Why your daughters and not your sons? If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. If it's fun and freeing, why wouldn't you want both to partake?" Because we all know only sluts and studs swing! Men don’t want a slut for a daughter but they do want a stud for a son! | |||
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"Why your daughters and not your sons? If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. If it's fun and freeing, why wouldn't you want both to partake? I have no idea if it's fun and freeing it's not something I've ever done. Totally inexperienced tbh Good question regarding why not my son though, and the truthful answer is I don't know Not a cop out just totally inexperienced myself " I find the honesty in this answer really refreshing. I suspect the answer, may, and I stress may be linked ti your layer comment about mrm on here treating women as a sex object | |||
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"I wouldn’t want them to do it and would advise against it. Adults make up their own minds though. I don’t particularly think it’s a great lifestyle and I would want more and better for them. " If it’s as bad as you say why do you continue in the lifestyle then? | |||
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" My son got involved in smoking pot and I tried to talk him out of it. Would you not do the same? That is illegal and swinging isn't" Depends where in the world you happen to be. Gbat | |||
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"girls brought up with values and morals and a good work ethic they end up struggling with partners " Bit of a sweeping statement! Gbat | |||
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"I wouldn’t want them to do it and would advise against it. Adults make up their own minds though. I don’t particularly think it’s a great lifestyle and I would want more and better for them. If it’s as bad as you say why do you continue in the lifestyle then? " I didn’t say it was ‘that bad’ I said I didn’t think it was a particularly great lifestyle. I’m not a swinger nonetheless, I still wouldn’t want this for my children. | |||
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"I think it's natural for fathers to be more protective of their daughters than their sons. I've no doubt it is. But it's always good to question why societal norms exist. I'm probably just spikey about being seen as weaker or incapable of looking after myself simply because I was born with ovaries. " Ok, but you are though. Thats just a biological fact. Unless you have some special self defence training that makes up for your lack of size and strength versus the average male | |||
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"I think it's natural for fathers to be more protective of their daughters than their sons. I've no doubt it is. But it's always good to question why societal norms exist. I'm probably just spikey about being seen as weaker or incapable of looking after myself simply because I was born with ovaries. I generally think women are stronger in many ways. Emotionally certainly, financially (as in being far more sensible with money), and definitely sexually. Anyway, back to the topic of the thread. It's a horrible thing to have to accept but there are far more dangers out there for women than for men when it comes to swinging and sex in general. Sexual assault/rape does happpen to men but it's far more common with women. Without getting too much into this, that's why fathers are much more protective of their daughters." I think thats a bit of a sweeping generalisation there that women are stronger emotionally and also financially. And what does stronger sexually even mean?? | |||
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"And what does stronger sexually even mean?? " That women can resist wanking at work ? | |||
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"And what does stronger sexually even mean?? That women can resist wanking at work ? " Or maybe they can wank harder?? | |||
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"Hi Dad. I want to be a swinger. Not happening to me, even if they decided why would they tell you? Any of us who are, tell our parents? Or did our parents tell us they were? I doubt it " Someone outed us to Fox's mum shortly after we started meeting via here. She asked the question. We answered honestly and weren't in a serious relationship at the time. I know of others who've told their parents or children. Would it bother me if our child told us they wanted to swing? No more than it would if they told me they wanted to travel the world solo, that they were gay/bi, or that they wanted to work in a supermarket. I'd be more worried about many other things - recreational dr*gs, joining some batshit cult/religion, getting involved in gangs/crime etc. Casual sex has been around since man first met woman. It happens in normal vanilla life probably more than it does in swinging. If anything I'd say that many swingers have a much more respectful view to casual hook ups and safety than non-swingers. I know from personal experience I probably put myself more at risk in my youth when dr*nk than I ever would now, in terms of personal safety, avoiding unwanted pregnancies/STD's and sleeping with complete strangers I had no knowledge about or respect for. A lot of the posts I've read so far appear very much 'do as I say, not as I do' to me........... A | |||
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"Ok, but you are though. Thats just a biological fact. Unless you have some special self defence training that makes up for your lack of size and strength versus the average male" At 6 foot and raised by bikers I personally am more capable of looking after myself than the average male. But that's not the point. | |||
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"Ok, but you are though. Thats just a biological fact. Unless you have some special self defence training that makes up for your lack of size and strength versus the average male At 6 foot and raised by bikers I personally am more capable of looking after myself than the average male. But that's not the point. " Fair enough if you are, but that would put you in the extreme minority of women | |||
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"As a parent I’ve thought about this and heard stories from others who found their parents in the lifestyle, they told me they spoke about safety and otherwise just communicated which clubs they attended so the other didn’t, just so no one had a surprise Mines too young to know anything about sex so as they grow I’ll answer questions to what’s appropriate for their age, as they get older I’ll advise as openly as I can to their comfort level while hopefully staying approachable for the awkward questions They don’t need to know details of my own sex life but leaning on my experience to ask questions seems useful When they’re an adult I hope they’ll have enough understanding of sex and relationships to know what options they have Otherwise there isn’t a whole lot I can do, it’s not my place to control so much as inform and educate in the hope of them making the best choice for themselves Everyone will have their own ways because it’s a huge topic, that’s just what seems logical to me I guess " What an absolute minefield of a subject covered in a way my good lady and I absolutely agree with...sound example of how it could be approached, brilliant. From the father of 2 girls...X | |||
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"Ok, but you are though. Thats just a biological fact. Unless you have some special self defence training that makes up for your lack of size and strength versus the average male At 6 foot and raised by bikers I personally am more capable of looking after myself than the average male. But that's not the point. Fair enough if you are, but that would put you in the extreme minority of women" Physically weaker does not mean incapable of protecting themselves or governing their own choices. | |||
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"Ok, but you are though. Thats just a biological fact. Unless you have some special self defence training that makes up for your lack of size and strength versus the average male At 6 foot and raised by bikers I personally am more capable of looking after myself than the average male. But that's not the point. " As much as we can't make a sweeping generalisation about the female of tbe species and assume they are all soft targets We also cannot assume that all bikers are hard knocks that bring up their children to be tough Not in anyway bring sarcastic it's just that as a father I suppose I'm more protective of my daughters and more open with my son (let him know where I failed and maybe him learn from my mistakes) Dad and daughter dynamics are generally different to dad and son It us with me anyway | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?" Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex " ends | |||
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"Ok, but you are though. Thats just a biological fact. Unless you have some special self defence training that makes up for your lack of size and strength versus the average male At 6 foot and raised by bikers I personally am more capable of looking after myself than the average male. But that's not the point. Fair enough if you are, but that would put you in the extreme minority of women Physically weaker does not mean incapable of protecting themselves or governing their own choices." No it doesnt mean incapable, but the average female is in far more physical danger in a 1 on 1 situation with a man than another man is. I mean i dont think this is really up for debate and i think thats what the previous poster was getting at when talking about him being more protective oh his daughter than his son | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex " We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... A | |||
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"Ok, but you are though. Thats just a biological fact. Unless you have some special self defence training that makes up for your lack of size and strength versus the average male At 6 foot and raised by bikers I personally am more capable of looking after myself than the average male. But that's not the point. Fair enough if you are, but that would put you in the extreme minority of women Physically weaker does not mean incapable of protecting themselves or governing their own choices. No it doesnt mean incapable, but the average female is in far more physical danger in a 1 on 1 situation with a man than another man is. I mean i dont think this is really up for debate and i think thats what the previous poster was getting at when talking about him being more protective oh his daughter than his son" The average young man is far more at risk of getting assaulted than the average woman. Maybe fathers should be more protective with their sons and teach them that violence isn't the solution to an argument. A | |||
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"Ok, but you are though. Thats just a biological fact. Unless you have some special self defence training that makes up for your lack of size and strength versus the average male At 6 foot and raised by bikers I personally am more capable of looking after myself than the average male. But that's not the point. Fair enough if you are, but that would put you in the extreme minority of women Physically weaker does not mean incapable of protecting themselves or governing their own choices. No it doesnt mean incapable, but the average female is in far more physical danger in a 1 on 1 situation with a man than another man is. I mean i dont think this is really up for debate and i think thats what the previous poster was getting at when talking about him being more protective oh his daughter than his son The average young man is far more at risk of getting assaulted than the average woman. Maybe fathers should be more protective with their sons and teach them that violence isn't the solution to an argument. A" Yes he is on a day to day basis and its very true that far more men are victims of violent crime than women are. However, we're talking specifically in meeting relative strangers for sex here, and in such a situation, the physical danger to a man is far less than the physical danger to a woman | |||
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"Yes he is on a day to day basis and its very true that far more men are victims of violent crime than women are. However, we're talking specifically in meeting relative strangers for sex here, and in such a situation, the physical danger to a man is far less than the physical danger to a woman" In every encounter one person will be physically weaker than the other. What if the son is small and skinny? Meeting relative strangers for sex is a risky business for anyone. | |||
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"Yes he is on a day to day basis and its very true that far more men are victims of violent crime than women are. However, we're talking specifically in meeting relative strangers for sex here, and in such a situation, the physical danger to a man is far less than the physical danger to a woman In every encounter one person will be physically weaker than the other. What if the son is small and skinny? Meeting relative strangers for sex is a risky business for anyone." Even if the son is small and skinny, hes still probably going to be able to handle himself against a woman. There are always exceptions of course but were talking about biology here. It is what it is | |||
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"Yes he is on a day to day basis and its very true that far more men are victims of violent crime than women are. However, we're talking specifically in meeting relative strangers for sex here, and in such a situation, the physical danger to a man is far less than the physical danger to a woman In every encounter one person will be physically weaker than the other. What if the son is small and skinny? Meeting relative strangers for sex is a risky business for anyone." What if the big burly guy is tied to a bed ? You don't need to be strong to attack from behind, slip something into a drink, or wait until they're asleep. You're not at greater risk purely because you're the smaller/lighter/physically weaker in the room. Having been assaulted by three women in my life only one was anywhere near my size. The other two used a bottle and a wok to target my head from behind. My size did nothing to protect me. Maybe if the traditional stereotype of women being weak individuals in need of protection by big strong men wasn't so prevalent, then (some) men wouldn't see them as such easy targets and their egos wouldn't be dented so much when they're rejected by strong independent women? A | |||
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"Yes he is on a day to day basis and its very true that far more men are victims of violent crime than women are. However, we're talking specifically in meeting relative strangers for sex here, and in such a situation, the physical danger to a man is far less than the physical danger to a woman In every encounter one person will be physically weaker than the other. What if the son is small and skinny? Meeting relative strangers for sex is a risky business for anyone. What if the big burly guy is tied to a bed ? You don't need to be strong to attack from behind, slip something into a drink, or wait until they're asleep. You're not at greater risk purely because you're the smaller/lighter/physically weaker in the room. Having been assaulted by three women in my life only one was anywhere near my size. The other two used a bottle and a wok to target my head from behind. My size did nothing to protect me. Maybe if the traditional stereotype of women being weak individuals in need of protection by big strong men wasn't so prevalent, then (some) men wouldn't see them as such easy targets and their egos wouldn't be dented so much when they're rejected by strong independent women? A " Wow this thread really is getting ridiculous now. I dont even know what youre trying to say in that last paragraph. It makes no sense at all. If people are seriously looking to debate if men are on average stronger than women or not, and they think theres actually a debate to be had, then im out | |||
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"Maybe if the traditional stereotype of women being weak individuals in need of protection by big strong men wasn't so prevalent, then (some) men wouldn't see them as such easy targets and their egos wouldn't be dented so much when they're rejected by strong independent women? A " | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... A" Yes but we are single, if youre in a loving relationship and become swingers slightly different than the Ops question but having said that would you let your 18 year old child become a swinger or would you view them to be adult enough to make that decision, my opinion isn't based upon them being of an age to make that decision but more upon would i want them to do that. | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... AYes but we are single, if youre in a loving relationship and become swingers slightly different than the Ops question but having said that would you let your 18 year old child become a swinger or would you view them to be adult enough to make that decision, my opinion isn't based upon them being of an age to make that decision but more upon would i want them to do that. " Nope. We were single when we met on here, Fox was 22 and whilst I'm a dad I'm not a biological father. We were swinging before that loving relationship started. So no, it's no different to the OP's question at all. A | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... AYes but we are single, if youre in a loving relationship and become swingers slightly different than the Ops question but having said that would you let your 18 year old child become a swinger or would you view them to be adult enough to make that decision, my opinion isn't based upon them being of an age to make that decision but more upon would i want them to do that. Nope. We were single when we met on here, Fox was 22 and whilst I'm a dad I'm not a biological father. We were swinging before that loving relationship started. So no, it's no different to the OP's question at all. A" So you would like your children to go into the swinging world then, if you had a child that is | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... AYes but we are single, if youre in a loving relationship and become swingers slightly different than the Ops question but having said that would you let your 18 year old child become a swinger or would you view them to be adult enough to make that decision, my opinion isn't based upon them being of an age to make that decision but more upon would i want them to do that. Nope. We were single when we met on here, Fox was 22 and whilst I'm a dad I'm not a biological father. We were swinging before that loving relationship started. So no, it's no different to the OP's question at all. ASo you would like your children to go into the swinging world then, if you had a child that is " Like? It's not my place to like that. If they choose to then that's entirely their decision and like any other they make I'd support them. As I said previously. There are many things I wouldn't like them.to do and would try to dissuade them from doing on the basis that they're either illegal, morally unacceptable or dangerous to themselves or others. Swinging doesn't fall into any of those categories. It's scarcely different from the casual sex most experience at a young age whilst they're experimenting and developing. A | |||
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"I don't know if I should just keep quiet but if they're having casual sex because they want to I don't see why this world is any worse than any other Believe it or not teenagers are having group sex and threesomes and kinky sex whether fab exists or not " Agree with this. Teenagers will be experimenting to find the things they like. As parents we just have to make sure they know they can come to us with any problem they have. | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... AYes but we are single, if youre in a loving relationship and become swingers slightly different than the Ops question but having said that would you let your 18 year old child become a swinger or would you view them to be adult enough to make that decision, my opinion isn't based upon them being of an age to make that decision but more upon would i want them to do that. Nope. We were single when we met on here, Fox was 22 and whilst I'm a dad I'm not a biological father. We were swinging before that loving relationship started. So no, it's no different to the OP's question at all. ASo you would like your children to go into the swinging world then, if you had a child that is Like? It's not my place to like that. If they choose to then that's entirely their decision and like any other they make I'd support them. As I said previously. There are many things I wouldn't like them.to do and would try to dissuade them from doing on the basis that they're either illegal, morally unacceptable or dangerous to themselves or others. Swinging doesn't fall into any of those categories. It's scarcely different from the casual sex most experience at a young age whilst they're experimenting and developing. A" Well true i did say that earlier its our job as parents mind to push them on the right path, I'm not saying this is or isn't the right path, I'm just saying i wouldn't choose it for my kids, its ok saying whatever they choose is fine by me but for the most part in their formative years you've hopefully already moulded them and they wouldn't need to choose it | |||
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"Where does the idea that swingera can't be in happy and loving relationships come from?" There's long been common misconceptions about couples who swing, frequently evidenced in forum posts, not limited to these examples..... We're doing it to fill a gap in our relationship and sex life. One of us can't fulfill the other so need external assistance. If one doesn't let the other swing they'll leave. You can't respect and love your partner if you let them sleep with someone else. Generally it's singles expressing those views, often accompanied by statements that 'I couldn't swing as a couple' and 'if I found the right person on here we'd leave'. It's almost as if some can't separate emotional and physical interactions, relationships from commitment free encounters and love and affection from physical lust and a desire to please. Nowt queer as folk....... A | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... AYes but we are single, if youre in a loving relationship and become swingers slightly different than the Ops question but having said that would you let your 18 year old child become a swinger or would you view them to be adult enough to make that decision, my opinion isn't based upon them being of an age to make that decision but more upon would i want them to do that. Nope. We were single when we met on here, Fox was 22 and whilst I'm a dad I'm not a biological father. We were swinging before that loving relationship started. So no, it's no different to the OP's question at all. ASo you would like your children to go into the swinging world then, if you had a child that is Like? It's not my place to like that. If they choose to then that's entirely their decision and like any other they make I'd support them. As I said previously. There are many things I wouldn't like them.to do and would try to dissuade them from doing on the basis that they're either illegal, morally unacceptable or dangerous to themselves or others. Swinging doesn't fall into any of those categories. It's scarcely different from the casual sex most experience at a young age whilst they're experimenting and developing. AWell true i did say that earlier its our job as parents mind to push them on the right path, I'm not saying this is or isn't the right path, I'm just saying i wouldn't choose it for my kids, its ok saying whatever they choose is fine by me but for the most part in their formative years you've hopefully already moulded them and they wouldn't need to choose it " Not sure what you mean by 'need to choose it'....? Nobody 'needs' to swing. They choose to. And I don't want to mould our child. I want them to grow and decide who they want to be and what they want to do, with our help and support but definitely not by any plan determined by us. A | |||
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" If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. ….." It it’s unhappy / unhealthy … shouldnt you talk yourself out if it? | |||
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"Your son or daughter reaches maturity and confides in you that they want a swinging lifestyle Would you be okay with that? What advice would you give them? For me I would be more inclined to try to talk my daughters out of it. But their choice at the end of the day " Being a Maverick but with no children. I worried about telling the younger sibling. But their head didn't explode so I think at 30 something they can handle it. Most swingers seem to be middle aged anyway.. I'd be more concerned about my nursing home pudding than the sex life of my middle-aged children. But that's just me. I've had a lot of therapy to deal with uncomfortable shit so I have a bit more emotional resilience to discomfort than other people/parents. | |||
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"Where does the idea that swingera can't be in happy and loving relationships come from? There's long been common misconceptions about couples who swing, frequently evidenced in forum posts, not limited to these examples..... We're doing it to fill a gap in our relationship and sex life. One of us can't fulfill the other so need external assistance. If one doesn't let the other swing they'll leave. You can't respect and love your partner if you let them sleep with someone else. Generally it's singles expressing those views, often accompanied by statements that 'I couldn't swing as a couple' and 'if I found the right person on here we'd leave'. It's almost as if some can't separate emotional and physical interactions, relationships from commitment free encounters and love and affection from physical lust and a desire to please. Nowt queer as folk....... A" Im not seeing whats so strange about that? | |||
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"Wouldn't be trying to "talk my kid out" of anything, just point out what I see as the potential pitfalls (and they exist for every lifestyle choice) My son got involved in smoking pot and I tried to talk him out of it. Would you not do the same? " I'm not a parent but I know a lot of people who do drugs and drink a lot... somehow they come out perfectly fine but they are the lucky ones. I've never taken unprescribed drugs because I always know I had a weird brain and psychosis and dementia runs in my family. I was like I don't need extra help to fuck up my brain. I can only suggest that you mentally prepare your kid for the shit life throws at you. I never wanted to be a swinger from teenage years. I wanted to fit into the marriage and kids box like everyone else but my parents didn't give me the tools needed for that. I only have those tools now at 41 when most people my age are already married, had kids or have been traumatized so much by bad relationships that they won't go near one with a barge pole. Swinging works for me currently as a place holder. I don't know if I will do this for ever or if I will find a life partner to be with. Either way I have to make the best of it. I've found swingers at socials and clubs more open than people who are dating and the predator in clubs and socials more contained than the predators in the dating scene. | |||
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"Where does the idea that swingera can't be in happy and loving relationships come from? There's long been common misconceptions about couples who swing, frequently evidenced in forum posts, not limited to these examples..... We're doing it to fill a gap in our relationship and sex life. One of us can't fulfill the other so need external assistance. If one doesn't let the other swing they'll leave. You can't respect and love your partner if you let them sleep with someone else. Generally it's singles expressing those views, often accompanied by statements that 'I couldn't swing as a couple' and 'if I found the right person on here we'd leave'. It's almost as if some can't separate emotional and physical interactions, relationships from commitment free encounters and love and affection from physical lust and a desire to please. Nowt queer as folk....... A Im not seeing whats so strange about that? " I'm not surprised. A | |||
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"Hi Dad. I want to be a swinger. Not happening to me, even if they decided why would they tell you? Any of us who are, tell our parents? Or did our parents tell us they were? I doubt it " My parents wouldn't understand my perspective. But they are aware of unconventional lifestyles/sex lives. They are unmarried Boomers who chose to be each other's life partner. I think they know I date lots of different people. They would just say be careful and that's what my peers and sibling and friends not in the lifestyle say. It's difficult for some of them to hear but they will just have to get over it. | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... AYes but we are single, if youre in a loving relationship and become swingers slightly different than the Ops question but having said that would you let your 18 year old child become a swinger or would you view them to be adult enough to make that decision, my opinion isn't based upon them being of an age to make that decision but more upon would i want them to do that. Nope. We were single when we met on here, Fox was 22 and whilst I'm a dad I'm not a biological father. We were swinging before that loving relationship started. So no, it's no different to the OP's question at all. ASo you would like your children to go into the swinging world then, if you had a child that is Like? It's not my place to like that. If they choose to then that's entirely their decision and like any other they make I'd support them. As I said previously. There are many things I wouldn't like them.to do and would try to dissuade them from doing on the basis that they're either illegal, morally unacceptable or dangerous to themselves or others. Swinging doesn't fall into any of those categories. It's scarcely different from the casual sex most experience at a young age whilst they're experimenting and developing. AWell true i did say that earlier its our job as parents mind to push them on the right path, I'm not saying this is or isn't the right path, I'm just saying i wouldn't choose it for my kids, its ok saying whatever they choose is fine by me but for the most part in their formative years you've hopefully already moulded them and they wouldn't need to choose it Not sure what you mean by 'need to choose it'....? Nobody 'needs' to swing. They choose to. And I don't want to mould our child. I want them to grow and decide who they want to be and what they want to do, with our help and support but definitely not by any plan determined by us. A" Just because you choose it and you're happy swinging doesn't mean everyone is and I'd say with respect you're in a minority, I've seen a few people split as a result of this lifestyle so it definitely doesn't suit everyone, it festers emotions such as jealousy and mistrust and these emotions are constantly talked about in forums. So no i wouldn't encourage my children to partake swinging, sorry if that is an opposing view but its my view | |||
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"I think it's natural for fathers to be more protective of their daughters than their sons. I've no doubt it is. But it's always good to question why societal norms exist. I'm probably just spikey about being seen as weaker or incapable of looking after myself simply because I was born with ovaries. I generally think women are stronger in many ways. Emotionally certainly, financially (as in being far more sensible with money), and definitely sexually. Anyway, back to the topic of the thread. It's a horrible thing to have to accept but there are far more dangers out there for women than for men when it comes to swinging and sex in general. Sexual assault/rape does happpen to men but it's far more common with women. Without getting too much into this, that's why fathers are much more protective of their daughters." Sadly I've come across men and women in the gay and lesbian scenes who have been sexually @ss@ulted, sexually m0l£stEd and r@p£ just as much in the cis/hetero scene. And what's worse is that because of their sex and gender orientation, no one takes them seriously. In terms of reporting, criminal conviction and trauma recovery. I come from a place where no one ever talked to me about sex and relationships and it was a disaster. Not even consent. I grew up where people were either sexually repressed or completely without any boundaries and took all the risks. I'd never want what I had in terms of sex and relationships for my children if I had any. Nope, I'm going to be that embarrassing, too honest, open mother, from Sex Education. | |||
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"I think it's natural for fathers to be more protective of their daughters than their sons. I've no doubt it is. But it's always good to question why societal norms exist. I'm probably just spikey about being seen as weaker or incapable of looking after myself simply because I was born with ovaries. Ok, but you are though. Thats just a biological fact. Unless you have some special self defence training that makes up for your lack of size and strength versus the average male" The average male is as stiff as a board. I'd out manoeuver most of them no matter the size. Lol! I'd easily wrap my man-crusher thighs around them. Lol! Some self-defence techniques depend on flexibility/agility. Unfortunately, I had to physically defend myself from my former husband until the neighbours call the police. I hate to thing what he would have done if I just cowered in the corner or weighed 100lbs. But this bitch is not going down without a fight. | |||
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"And what does stronger sexually even mean?? That women can resist wanking at work ? " Cackle. I could thing of nothing more unsexy than my work loo. Even my parents'(borrowed) car is sexier parked out. | |||
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"its ok saying whatever they choose is fine by me but for the most part in their formative years you've hopefully already moulded them and they wouldn't need to choose it Not sure what you mean by 'need to choose it'....? Nobody 'needs' to swing. They choose to. And I don't want to mould our child. I want them to grow and decide who they want to be and what they want to do, with our help and support but definitely not by any plan determined by us. AJust because you choose it and you're happy swinging doesn't mean everyone is and I'd say with respect you're in a minority, I've seen a few people split as a result of this lifestyle so it definitely doesn't suit everyone, it festers emotions such as jealousy and mistrust and these emotions are constantly talked about in forums. So no i wouldn't encourage my children to partake swinging, sorry if that is an opposing view but its my view " The minority? Sorry - but no. You're fully entitled to your opinion but to say that happy swinging couples are the minority just highlights how little some singles understand the entire concept of swinging. A | |||
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"Ok, but you are though. Thats just a biological fact. Unless you have some special self defence training that makes up for your lack of size and strength versus the average male At 6 foot and raised by bikers I personally am more capable of looking after myself than the average male. But that's not the point. Fair enough if you are, but that would put you in the extreme minority of women Physically weaker does not mean incapable of protecting themselves or governing their own choices. No it doesnt mean incapable, but the average female is in far more physical danger in a 1 on 1 situation with a man than another man is. I mean i dont think this is really up for debate and i think thats what the previous poster was getting at when talking about him being more protective oh his daughter than his son The average young man is far more at risk of getting assaulted than the average woman. Maybe fathers should be more protective with their sons and teach them that violence isn't the solution to an argument. A Yes he is on a day to day basis and its very true that far more men are victims of violent crime than women are. However, we're talking specifically in meeting relative strangers for sex here, and in such a situation, the physical danger to a man is far less than the physical danger to a woman" The London Gangs target men looking for sex instead of women as the men have more belongings that cost more and are easily fleeced on the black market. Plus the men make more money than women so they are a more profitable target. I do club meets and hotel meets to reduce some of the risk but it's no different than dating apps and being picked up in a bar/club. Jeffery Dahmer picked up his victims in bars as did Denis Neilsen. The Tinder Swindler used the dating app very efficiently to bamboozle his well off female victims. A few murderers of women liked picking up students in particular. Schoolgirls and college/uni students. Situational awareness. physical fitness. Mental toughness and self defence classes and avoid high-risk situations as much as possible and always have a safety buddy who know where you are. Male or female or LGBTQIA Suzy Lamplugh disappeared just doing her job. Definitely teach your kids stranger danger. | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... AYes but we are single, if youre in a loving relationship and become swingers slightly different than the Ops question but having said that would you let your 18 year old child become a swinger or would you view them to be adult enough to make that decision, my opinion isn't based upon them being of an age to make that decision but more upon would i want them to do that. " My 75 year old dad watches porn, and drives d*unk with night blindness and smashed into 2 cars. The cops brought him home after midnight. Do I want my Dad to watch porn? It's really none of my business but my mom snitched. It's his house, his tablet ( which the sibling bought) he can do what he likes. As for the multiple accidents, it is criminal, dangerous and morally wrong. He could kill himself or someone else worse if it's a little kid chasing a ball. I don't want him to do it but can I bloody stop him? No, I can't. I don't even have the authority to take away his keys and licence. Makes me and the sibling livid when we think about it. I just try not to think about it too much and radically accept that it's out of my control. I mean he's somehow miraculously lived to 75 so I can't really be stressing about how he chooses to die. | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... AYes but we are single, if youre in a loving relationship and become swingers slightly different than the Ops question but having said that would you let your 18 year old child become a swinger or would you view them to be adult enough to make that decision, my opinion isn't based upon them being of an age to make that decision but more upon would i want them to do that. My 75 year old dad watches porn, and drives d*unk with night blindness and smashed into 2 cars. The cops brought him home after midnight. Do I want my Dad to watch porn? It's really none of my business but my mom snitched. It's his house, his tablet ( which the sibling bought) he can do what he likes. As for the multiple accidents, it is criminal, dangerous and morally wrong. He could kill himself or someone else worse if it's a little kid chasing a ball. I don't want him to do it but can I bloody stop him? No, I can't. I don't even have the authority to take away his keys and licence. Makes me and the sibling livid when we think about it. I just try not to think about it too much and radically accept that it's out of my control. I mean he's somehow miraculously lived to 75 so I can't really be stressing about how he chooses to die." Well yes not much you can do about your dad but your children yes but hopefully youve done that in the formative years, i personally think thats whats gone wrong with parenting these days, its a free and easy anything goes lifestyle, swearing no discipline, my girls are good and not involved in this lifestyle thankfully, you can't possibly get it all right but I'd say I've done a not bad job, once they reach a certain age your jobs done, if you've done it right they will be ok if not well thats another story | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... AYes but we are single, if youre in a loving relationship and become swingers slightly different than the Ops question but having said that would you let your 18 year old child become a swinger or would you view them to be adult enough to make that decision, my opinion isn't based upon them being of an age to make that decision but more upon would i want them to do that. Nope. We were single when we met on here, Fox was 22 and whilst I'm a dad I'm not a biological father. We were swinging before that loving relationship started. So no, it's no different to the OP's question at all. ASo you would like your children to go into the swinging world then, if you had a child that is Like? It's not my place to like that. If they choose to then that's entirely their decision and like any other they make I'd support them. As I said previously. There are many things I wouldn't like them.to do and would try to dissuade them from doing on the basis that they're either illegal, morally unacceptable or dangerous to themselves or others. Swinging doesn't fall into any of those categories. It's scarcely different from the casual sex most experience at a young age whilst they're experimenting and developing. AWell true i did say that earlier its our job as parents mind to push them on the right path, I'm not saying this is or isn't the right path, I'm just saying i wouldn't choose it for my kids, its ok saying whatever they choose is fine by me but for the most part in their formative years you've hopefully already moulded them and they wouldn't need to choose it " Ick...this give me the ick. Given what I know about psychology, I won't' be pushing anyone into anything. I also won't be moulding anyone into whatever my ideal person is. Cringe. I'm not a parent but if I was I hope I would be giving my children, boundaries, emotional intelligence, life skills, adaptive functional coping strategies, knowledge, information, choices, positive reinforcement, advantages, consequences and most of all support. I'm not sure why someone would NEED to choose swinging. It's definitely a preference for where ever life has taken them. There are loads of alternatives to swinging so where does the NEED come from? If you don't find it enjoyable, then maybe you need to stop doing it. I'm just getting sex negative vibes.... and I'm trying to be sex positive. I enjoy swinging. I can talk about sex and bodies with swingers without people being triggered. I can't, unfortunately, do that with my friends, family and mental health peers. I enjoy the socials and I experience a connection with my body even if I'm not playing. I enjoy being nude and I enjoy watching other people enjoy themselves. May I suggest reading the A Curious History of Sex by Kate Lister to find out how we all became so puritanical about sex. | |||
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"Where does the idea that swingera can't be in happy and loving relationships come from? There's long been common misconceptions about couples who swing, frequently evidenced in forum posts, not limited to these examples..... We're doing it to fill a gap in our relationship and sex life. One of us can't fulfill the other so need external assistance. If one doesn't let the other swing they'll leave. You can't respect and love your partner if you let them sleep with someone else. Generally it's singles expressing those views, often accompanied by statements that 'I couldn't swing as a couple' and 'if I found the right person on here we'd leave'. It's almost as if some can't separate emotional and physical interactions, relationships from commitment free encounters and love and affection from physical lust and a desire to please. Nowt queer as folk....... A" As a single swinger, this is refreshing to hear from a couple. I spent many years not looking after my body due to trauma. I spent from 2019 to 2022 denying my body pleasure. Sure I fed it, watered it and exercised it. but super low on the pleasure hormones. I tried dating but people were so dishonest about who they were and hid from their vulnerabilities. When you are naked and/or having sex or watching sex in a group scenario there is nowhere to hide and we are all vulnerable. I usually get sensory overloaded in a bad way. Sex and swing provides positive sensory overload so that I can cope better with sensory overload in general. I refuse to let my swinging and alternative lifestyle be some sort of dirty sordid secret. I also refuse to engage in a narrative that is invalidating for me "such as I wouldn't want my children doing it" As if we don't have wants, needs, desires, fantasies and dreams. Oh well De Nile ( sic Denial) is a river in Eqypt. I ascribe to "if you are unhappy with a situation fix it; if you don't know how to fix it, go to someone who can teach you how to fix it." Don't like Fab: Join Tinder, go speed dating, attend events for singles, hire a sex worker, get a tantric or erotic massage, buy yourself a sex doll. Film yourself wanking. Hit on everyone in the pub until you get someone to take you home or take them home. See a sex therapist. Hire a Matchmaker. Find a virgin by joining a fundamentalist cult. Have an arranged marriage. If one doesn't like Fab or swinging, maybe one should see a psychotherapist about why one does it if one doesn't like it. | |||
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" If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. ….. It it’s unhappy / unhealthy … shouldnt you talk yourself out if it? " or talk to a shrink.? Like BetterHelp Online Therapy( not an ad) | |||
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"Where does the idea that swingera can't be in happy and loving relationships come from? There's long been common misconceptions about couples who swing, frequently evidenced in forum posts, not limited to these examples..... We're doing it to fill a gap in our relationship and sex life. One of us can't fulfill the other so need external assistance. If one doesn't let the other swing they'll leave. You can't respect and love your partner if you let them sleep with someone else. Generally it's singles expressing those views, often accompanied by statements that 'I couldn't swing as a couple' and 'if I found the right person on here we'd leave'. It's almost as if some can't separate emotional and physical interactions, relationships from commitment free encounters and love and affection from physical lust and a desire to please. Nowt queer as folk....... A As a single swinger, this is refreshing to hear from a couple. I spent many years not looking after my body due to trauma. I spent from 2019 to 2022 denying my body pleasure. Sure I fed it, watered it and exercised it. but super low on the pleasure hormones. I tried dating but people were so dishonest about who they were and hid from their vulnerabilities. When you are naked and/or having sex or watching sex in a group scenario there is nowhere to hide and we are all vulnerable. I usually get sensory overloaded in a bad way. Sex and swing provides positive sensory overload so that I can cope better with sensory overload in general. I refuse to let my swinging and alternative lifestyle be some sort of dirty sordid secret. I also refuse to engage in a narrative that is invalidating for me "such as I wouldn't want my children doing it" As if we don't have wants, needs, desires, fantasies and dreams. Oh well De Nile ( sic Denial) is a river in Eqypt. I ascribe to "if you are unhappy with a situation fix it; if you don't know how to fix it, go to someone who can teach you how to fix it." Don't like Fab: Join Tinder, go speed dating, attend events for singles, hire a sex worker, get a tantric or erotic massage, buy yourself a sex doll. Film yourself wanking. Hit on everyone in the pub until you get someone to take you home or take them home. See a sex therapist. Hire a Matchmaker. Find a virgin by joining a fundamentalist cult. Have an arranged marriage. If one doesn't like Fab or swinging, maybe one should see a psychotherapist about why one does it if one doesn't like it. " Love this. Thank you. A | |||
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"I'd tell them about cum scum in hot tubs; people trying to fuck bareback when you aren't looking; people getting jealous; being stood up; smelly people who don't wash; not having any replies from introduction messages; not having any interest in a club; club fees; selfish people blah blah blah. Then I'd say, but I've had some great sex. It's not something any of my children would be interested in though. " Oh my ex was selfish and jealous and not a swinger and I met him when I was not a swinger. I haven't met any cum scum in hotubs...yet but I go to very strict licensed clubs. | |||
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"The fact they've confided in you shows they're looking for guidance. It's your duty as a responsible parent to exactly that by making them aware of the advantages and disadvantages associated with practice. Goodluck. " This I'm with you OP | |||
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" AJust because you choose it and you're happy swinging doesn't mean everyone is and I'd say with respect you're in a minority, I've seen a few people split as a result of this lifestyle so it definitely doesn't suit everyone, it festers emotions such as jealousy and mistrust and these emotions are constantly talked about in forums. So no i wouldn't encourage my children to partake swinging, sorry if that is an opposing view but its my view " On one point we agree, Swinging is not for weak committed relationships and people low on emotional intelligence and who are emotionally unstable. Lol! Says the person with Emotionally Unstable personality disorder. Lol! I'm a responsible crazy person. I take my meds. I see the pharmacist every week. I see my GP regularly and get my check ups. I know where the crisis support, telephone or in person. I don't take unprescribed drugs. I see my psychotherapist every week. I attend 3-4 mental health peer groups a week depending on which the NHS or charity hasn't cancelled due to lack of funding. I speak to the emotional sexual health advisor every month during my sexual health check-up so they know I'm not a manic psychotic sex fiend. Swinging is not a substitute for any emotional and mental difficulties that you are facing. Jealousy is normal. Excessive Obsessive Jealousy thoughts and jealous harmful actions are abnormal/dysfunctional and life limiting. Swinging is not life limiting, per se. I'm of the view that if people have emotional problems ( like me) they need to see a mental health professional and in some cases, take medication and do long-term intensive psychotherapy ( like me) Swinging is not psychotherapy. | |||
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"Well yes not much you can do about your dad but your children yes but hopefully youve done that in the formative years, i personally think thats whats gone wrong with parenting these days, its a free and easy anything goes lifestyle, swearing no discipline, my girls are good and not involved in this lifestyle thankfully, you can't possibly get it all right but I'd say I've done a not bad job, once they reach a certain age your jobs done, if you've done it right they will be ok if not well thats another story " Actually, my parents were too overbearing, so me and the sibling left home at 18 to different countries thousands of miles away and we both live alternative lifestyles and we have never moved back home. I'd rather be homeless than move back in with my parents right now. I'll move back when they lose mobility/faculties/die. The sibling has zero intention of moving back and assisting in their care in person. they might fund a nursing home or a nurse to help me. I don't know if you have grandchildren but my friends definitely discipline their grandchildren and children but thankfully they are not overbearing. | |||
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"Where does the idea that swingera can't be in happy and loving relationships come from? There's long been common misconceptions about couples who swing, frequently evidenced in forum posts, not limited to these examples..... We're doing it to fill a gap in our relationship and sex life. One of us can't fulfill the other so need external assistance. If one doesn't let the other swing they'll leave. You can't respect and love your partner if you let them sleep with someone else. Generally it's singles expressing those views, often accompanied by statements that 'I couldn't swing as a couple' and 'if I found the right person on here we'd leave'. It's almost as if some can't separate emotional and physical interactions, relationships from commitment free encounters and love and affection from physical lust and a desire to please. Nowt queer as folk....... A As a single swinger, this is refreshing to hear from a couple. I spent many years not looking after my body due to trauma. I spent from 2019 to 2022 denying my body pleasure. Sure I fed it, watered it and exercised it. but super low on the pleasure hormones. I tried dating but people were so dishonest about who they were and hid from their vulnerabilities. When you are naked and/or having sex or watching sex in a group scenario there is nowhere to hide and we are all vulnerable. I usually get sensory overloaded in a bad way. Sex and swing provides positive sensory overload so that I can cope better with sensory overload in general. I refuse to let my swinging and alternative lifestyle be some sort of dirty sordid secret. I also refuse to engage in a narrative that is invalidating for me "such as I wouldn't want my children doing it" As if we don't have wants, needs, desires, fantasies and dreams. Oh well De Nile ( sic Denial) is a river in Eqypt. I ascribe to "if you are unhappy with a situation fix it; if you don't know how to fix it, go to someone who can teach you how to fix it." Don't like Fab: Join Tinder, go speed dating, attend events for singles, hire a sex worker, get a tantric or erotic massage, buy yourself a sex doll. Film yourself wanking. Hit on everyone in the pub until you get someone to take you home or take them home. See a sex therapist. Hire a Matchmaker. Find a virgin by joining a fundamentalist cult. Have an arranged marriage. If one doesn't like Fab or swinging, maybe one should see a psychotherapist about why one does it if one doesn't like it. Love this. Thank you. A" Thank you! Without couples like you, we'd all be subjected to some doom and gloom all day long and all night long too on Fab. OP just giving me negative vibes generally. Or is this part of the GREAT BRITISH COMPLAINT BUREAUCRACY? Lol! | |||
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"Where does the idea that swingera can't be in happy and loving relationships come from? There's long been common misconceptions about couples who swing, frequently evidenced in forum posts, not limited to these examples..... We're doing it to fill a gap in our relationship and sex life. One of us can't fulfill the other so need external assistance. If one doesn't let the other swing they'll leave. You can't respect and love your partner if you let them sleep with someone else. Generally it's singles expressing those views, often accompanied by statements that 'I couldn't swing as a couple' and 'if I found the right person on here we'd leave'. It's almost as if some can't separate emotional and physical interactions, relationships from commitment free encounters and love and affection from physical lust and a desire to please. Nowt queer as folk....... A As a single swinger, this is refreshing to hear from a couple. I spent many years not looking after my body due to trauma. I spent from 2019 to 2022 denying my body pleasure. Sure I fed it, watered it and exercised it. but super low on the pleasure hormones. I tried dating but people were so dishonest about who they were and hid from their vulnerabilities. When you are naked and/or having sex or watching sex in a group scenario there is nowhere to hide and we are all vulnerable. I usually get sensory overloaded in a bad way. Sex and swing provides positive sensory overload so that I can cope better with sensory overload in general. I refuse to let my swinging and alternative lifestyle be some sort of dirty sordid secret. I also refuse to engage in a narrative that is invalidating for me "such as I wouldn't want my children doing it" As if we don't have wants, needs, desires, fantasies and dreams. Oh well De Nile ( sic Denial) is a river in Eqypt. I ascribe to "if you are unhappy with a situation fix it; if you don't know how to fix it, go to someone who can teach you how to fix it." Don't like Fab: Join Tinder, go speed dating, attend events for singles, hire a sex worker, get a tantric or erotic massage, buy yourself a sex doll. Film yourself wanking. Hit on everyone in the pub until you get someone to take you home or take them home. See a sex therapist. Hire a Matchmaker. Find a virgin by joining a fundamentalist cult. Have an arranged marriage. If one doesn't like Fab or swinging, maybe one should see a psychotherapist about why one does it if one doesn't like it. Love this. Thank you. A Thank you! Without couples like you, we'd all be subjected to some doom and gloom all day long and all night long too on Fab. OP just giving me negative vibes generally. Or is this part of the GREAT BRITISH COMPLAINT BUREAUCRACY? Lol! " Why am I giving you negative vibes? I asked a question and have read the replies with interest Not knocking anyone or their views | |||
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"Your son or daughter reaches maturity and confides in you that they want a swinging lifestyle Would you be okay with that? What advice would you give them? For me I would be more inclined to try to talk my daughters out of it. But their choice at the end of the day " What's Maturity ? ..do you mean late teens ? how many people on here were doing what they do now in their late teens ? I'd safety say none..like everything in life you can only advise them , they are not 5 and 6 anymore , l personally am not a swinger as such and l never will be simply because lm not , l just love sex , want to meet a person on the same sexual wavelength as me, so to answer the question l could only advise that's all anyone can do because if you dictate you will lose them , they will do their own thing anyway, how many here would change things if they had the chance ? It's their life their choice..l would just try to advise . | |||
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"I have read every single word on this thread, and it makes fascinating reading. Even some swingers who are parents have differing opinions in some cases. I have however learned a lot about the psychology behind swinging and tbe varied reasons that it's become an important part of some of your lifestyles. I do however stand by my original post. Brilliant and fascinating insight into tbe world of swinging though, thanks to you all " I concur, massively insightful thread, amazing range of thoughts and opinions. Mr | |||
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"Why your daughters and not your sons? If it's an unhappy or unhealthy lifestyle, surely you'd want to talk both out of it. If it's fun and freeing, why wouldn't you want both to partake?" Who says he has a daughter | |||
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"Who says he has a daughter " Uh. He said he'd want to talk his daughters out of it? | |||
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"Who says he has a daughter Uh. He said he'd want to talk his daughters out of it?" If he had them .. ask him | |||
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"Who says he has a daughter Uh. He said he'd want to talk his daughters out of it? If he had them .. ask him " The question was more about the gender divide. | |||
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"Who says he has a daughter Uh. He said he'd want to talk his daughters out of it? If he had them .. ask him The question was more about the gender divide. " For you it was .. for him he's talking about daughters approaching him about swinging life | |||
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"Who says he has a daughter Uh. He said he'd want to talk his daughters out of it? If he had them .. ask him The question was more about the gender divide. For you it was .. for him he's talking about daughters approaching him about swinging life " Okay | |||
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"Who says he has a daughter Uh. He said he'd want to talk his daughters out of it? If he had them .. ask him The question was more about the gender divide. For you it was .. for him he's talking about daughters approaching him about swinging life Okay " Hope that explains my point | |||
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"Hope that explains my point " It explains it exactly as much as I care to understand. | |||
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"Hope that explains my point It explains it exactly as much as I care to understand." Good ..personally I wouldn't fuel the conversation he wanted because it's obvious to see the intention | |||
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"And what does stronger sexually even mean?? That women can resist wanking at work ? " | |||
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"...in their formative years you've hopefully already moulded them and they wouldn't need to choose it " Wouldn't need to? Is anyone here because they need to? I don't think they would 'need' to stick to one partner, or marriage, or anything of the sort. If they choose they want that, cool. I hope they love it. Similarly, if they decide they want sex parties, multiple partners orgies and gender-bending line-blurring greedy sex till the day they die, equally cool. | |||
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"Baffles me how people can't see immediately the difference between genuine enquiries or genuinely seeking help .. and just an attempt at a perverted thread.. subject was aimed at a specific gender and had an ulterior motive " Hi James, I have 2 daughters and 1 son, I fail to see your point though? It was a genuine Hyperthetical question that ended up being a fascinating insight into the swinging world But as like everyone else, you are entitled to your opinion | |||
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"Not all men misbehave, not all men treat women as sex objects, i think this site allows men to be sexually overt and maybe thats wrong but where your children are concerned they haven't learnt enough skills, life skills to know when something is a good thing or not, swinging for me is a way of getting sex outside of a relationship as i think it is for many, it doesn't make it wrong but its not what i would want for my children Why do you want to do something that isn't good enough for your kids?Because i want my kids to be in loving relationships and to have kids in love and nurture them, what we do could in rare situations end up with love because contrary to what most people would say this site emulates life but for most its either a waste of time or one off sex We're in a loving relationship and we have a child. Swinging and those two aren't mutually exclusive...... AYes but we are single, if youre in a loving relationship and become swingers slightly different than the Ops question but having said that would you let your 18 year old child become a swinger or would you view them to be adult enough to make that decision, my opinion isn't based upon them being of an age to make that decision but more upon would i want them to do that. Nope. We were single when we met on here, Fox was 22 and whilst I'm a dad I'm not a biological father. We were swinging before that loving relationship started. So no, it's no different to the OP's question at all. ASo you would like your children to go into the swinging world then, if you had a child that is Like? It's not my place to like that. If they choose to then that's entirely their decision and like any other they make I'd support them. As I said previously. There are many things I wouldn't like them.to do and would try to dissuade them from doing on the basis that they're either illegal, morally unacceptable or dangerous to themselves or others. Swinging doesn't fall into any of those categories. It's scarcely different from the casual sex most experience at a young age whilst they're experimenting and developing. AWell true i did say that earlier its our job as parents mind to push them on the right path, I'm not saying this is or isn't the right path, I'm just saying i wouldn't choose it for my kids, its ok saying whatever they choose is fine by me but for the most part in their formative years you've hopefully already moulded them and they wouldn't need to choose it Ick...this give me the ick. Given what I know about psychology, I won't' be pushing anyone into anything. I also won't be moulding anyone into whatever my ideal person is. Cringe. I'm not a parent but if I was I hope I would be giving my children, boundaries, emotional intelligence, life skills, adaptive functional coping strategies, knowledge, information, choices, positive reinforcement, advantages, consequences and most of all support. I'm not sure why someone would NEED to choose swinging. It's definitely a preference for where ever life has taken them. There are loads of alternatives to swinging so where does the NEED come from? If you don't find it enjoyable, then maybe you need to stop doing it. I'm just getting sex negative vibes.... and I'm trying to be sex positive. I enjoy swinging. I can talk about sex and bodies with swingers without people being triggered. I can't, unfortunately, do that with my friends, family and mental health peers. I enjoy the socials and I experience a connection with my body even if I'm not playing. I enjoy being nude and I enjoy watching other people enjoy themselves. May I suggest reading the A Curious History of Sex by Kate Lister to find out how we all became so puritanical about sex." I never said anything about pushing, you give your children guidance starting from the minute they are born some of it is subconscious, some of it spoken and not all of it parental, if you've done a good job it will be evident in that child | |||
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"...in their formative years you've hopefully already moulded them and they wouldn't need to choose it Wouldn't need to? Is anyone here because they need to? I don't think they would 'need' to stick to one partner, or marriage, or anything of the sort. If they choose they want that, cool. I hope they love it. Similarly, if they decide they want sex parties, multiple partners orgies and gender-bending line-blurring greedy sex till the day they die, equally cool. " for a child to want that!! | |||
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"Well yes not much you can do about your dad but your children yes but hopefully youve done that in the formative years, i personally think thats whats gone wrong with parenting these days, its a free and easy anything goes lifestyle, swearing no discipline, my girls are good and not involved in this lifestyle thankfully, you can't possibly get it all right but I'd say I've done a not bad job, once they reach a certain age your jobs done, if you've done it right they will be ok if not well thats another story Actually, my parents were too overbearing, so me and the sibling left home at 18 to different countries thousands of miles away and we both live alternative lifestyles and we have never moved back home. I'd rather be homeless than move back in with my parents right now. I'll move back when they lose mobility/faculties/die. The sibling has zero intention of moving back and assisting in their care in person. they might fund a nursing home or a nurse to help me. I don't know if you have grandchildren but my friends definitely discipline their grandchildren and children but thankfully they are not overbearing." yes but don't you think thats sad that we as parents can't instil our values into our children without alienating them, suppose theirs good ways and bad ways, my dad physically hit me when i was naughty as a child so i knew when i had done wrong, although i don't disagree with hitting as a discipline i never hit my children i used words and tones of words, my children love me because i was on their level so to speak. | |||
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"Your son or daughter reaches maturity and confides in you that they want a swinging lifestyle Would you be okay with that? What advice would you give them? For me I would be more inclined to try to talk my daughters out of it. But their choice at the end of the day " First off. Need to have a bit more clarity about what they mean by "swinging lifestyle". Then just understand how they will go about ensuring their mental and physical well being.... Ensure they have understood the consequences for now and their futures.. And always be there for them if they want any help. Like any other activity I guess. Its not like going off to a dodgy cult. It's just a bit of adult fun. | |||
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"I'd tell them about cum scum in hot tubs; people trying to fuck bareback when you aren't looking; people getting jealous; being stood up; smelly people who don't wash; not having any replies from introduction messages; not having any interest in a club; club fees; selfish people blah blah blah. Then I'd say, but I've had some great sex. It's not something any of my children would be interested in though. " As far as "stealthing" I'd never heard of it or that it was a thing till my daughter told me last year. They have more knowledge than we give them credit for. But stealthing.... That's fucking scummy. | |||
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"I'd tell them about cum scum in hot tubs; people trying to fuck bareback when you aren't looking; people getting jealous; being stood up; smelly people who don't wash; not having any replies from introduction messages; not having any interest in a club; club fees; selfish people blah blah blah. Then I'd say, but I've had some great sex. It's not something any of my children would be interested in though. As far as "stealthing" I'd never heard of it or that it was a thing till my daughter told me last year. They have more knowledge than we give them credit for. But stealthing.... That's fucking scummy. " What is it? | |||
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"I'd tell them about cum scum in hot tubs; people trying to fuck bareback when you aren't looking; people getting jealous; being stood up; smelly people who don't wash; not having any replies from introduction messages; not having any interest in a club; club fees; selfish people blah blah blah. Then I'd say, but I've had some great sex. It's not something any of my children would be interested in though. As far as "stealthing" I'd never heard of it or that it was a thing till my daughter told me last year. They have more knowledge than we give them credit for. But stealthing.... That's fucking scummy. What is it?" Apparently there's a thing where guys discreetly and without letting the other party know, remove the condom and carry on. | |||
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"I'd tell them about cum scum in hot tubs; people trying to fuck bareback when you aren't looking; people getting jealous; being stood up; smelly people who don't wash; not having any replies from introduction messages; not having any interest in a club; club fees; selfish people blah blah blah. Then I'd say, but I've had some great sex. It's not something any of my children would be interested in though. As far as "stealthing" I'd never heard of it or that it was a thing till my daughter told me last year. They have more knowledge than we give them credit for. But stealthing.... That's fucking scummy. What is it? Apparently there's a thing where guys discreetly and without letting the other party know, remove the condom and carry on. " Bloody hell that is surely a criminal offence | |||
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"I'd tell them about cum scum in hot tubs; people trying to fuck bareback when you aren't looking; people getting jealous; being stood up; smelly people who don't wash; not having any replies from introduction messages; not having any interest in a club; club fees; selfish people blah blah blah. Then I'd say, but I've had some great sex. It's not something any of my children would be interested in though. As far as "stealthing" I'd never heard of it or that it was a thing till my daughter told me last year. They have more knowledge than we give them credit for. But stealthing.... That's fucking scummy. What is it? Apparently there's a thing where guys discreetly and without letting the other party know, remove the condom and carry on. Bloody hell that is surely a criminal offence " Getting out of my comfort zone but you'd hope so.. But how the hell you go about proving it... But yeah I hadn't heard of it. | |||
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"Women are condemned for sexual liberation while men are praised! " What is sexual liberation? | |||
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"Don’t talk your daughter out of doing something you’d allow your son to do. Girls like sex. " All girls? | |||
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"Similarly, if they decide they want sex parties, multiple partners orgies and gender-bending line-blurring greedy sex till the day they die, equally cool... for a child to want that!! " For an adult offspring to want that, sure. Why not? | |||
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"Bloody hell that is surely a criminal offence " It can be classed as raype under UK law, as you are partaking in a sexual act without your consent. Apparently, since 2003 it's been punishable here. | |||
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