FabSwingers.com forum: Working on Christmas Dilemma! What’s your view

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I saw this story on Reddit & wondered what you lot thought lol

So a single mum with an autistic child asked her childless work colleague to withdraw her request to have Christmas Day off so she could have it instead. Her reasoning being, it’s almost impossible to get childcare on Christmas day & the work shift was only 5hrs long her college wouldn’t miss out much.

What would you do if you were the childless work colleague & do you think reasons given are valid?

Have you experienced something similar at your workplace?

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

Just because she's childless doesn't mean she doesn't have other care based commitments too that can't be moved or covered.

It's a tough one though

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've never experienced anything similar but the childless colleague might have very good reason to want Christmas day off.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Has colleague with child asked for Christmas day off in a timely fashion?

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

Whilst I do feel for the single mum, she shouldn't expect anyone to withdraw leave. Just because she doesn't have kids, it's doesn't make her time any less valuable. Maybe she has plans with family or friends.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Tricky one as when I used to work Christmas I was single with no children and we would cover for those with children.

My son was due to work boxing day but a kind lady has offered to swap shifts with him.

But I do think the childless employee has as much right to the time off

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Has colleague with child asked for Christmas day off in a timely fashion? "

They asked at same time, the childless colleague was granted day off as she had worked previous Christmas, but the mum was saying ‘having an autistic child she had no childcare’

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

Honestly my decision would be based entirely how much I liked the colleague asking me to swap.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Has colleague with child asked for Christmas day off in a timely fashion?

They asked at same time, the childless colleague was granted day off as she had worked previous Christmas, but the mum was saying ‘having an autistic child she had no childcare’ "

Ok, how is her child cared for the rest of the time?

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"Has colleague with child asked for Christmas day off in a timely fashion? "

I saw this on FB and think the childless lady asked first .

I don't have kids by choice and in the past have worked bank hols so my colleagues with kids can have the time off.

However just because someone doesn't have kids,doesn't mean they should automatically have to work or swap with colleagues who do have children.If she agrees then that's goodwill on her part ,it shouldn't be expected.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also childless colleague shouldn't have to work two Christmas days in a row

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Whilst I do feel for the single mum, she shouldn't expect anyone to withdraw leave. Just because she doesn't have kids, it's doesn't make her time any less valuable. Maybe she has plans with family or friends.

My thoughts too!

I had a work colleague who used to think ‘he should have Christmas off cause he was a dad’ & get arsey when we protested that wasn’t a valid reason we worked previous year’s Christmas

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

I used to be in a similar situation in a previous job only we all got christmas off, but the place was usually open for those couple of strange days between christmas and new year - I used to enjoy working between that and having some random time off in January so it was never an issue.

In this circumstance I'd work at Christmas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always work New Year’s Day as most of my colleagues prefer to work Xmas day as they go out NYE but I’ve never come across anything like you say OP but if I did I would swap as it makes no difference to me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Also childless colleague shouldn't have to work two Christmas days in a row "

Would you have swapped with her?

If no what would it take to make you consider?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Also childless colleague shouldn't have to work two Christmas days in a row

Would you have swapped with her?

If no what would it take to make you consider? "

My dad is 95, my mum died in march there's no way I'm working while he spends Christmas alone.

My children are in their thirties so for the purposes of this argument I'm childless but I think my situation illustrates why a yes or no answer isn't always possible

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh and nothing would make me reconsider

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Swanage

"So I saw this story on Reddit & wondered what you lot thought lol

What would you do if you were the childless work colleague & do you think reasons given are valid?

Have you experienced something similar at your workplace?"
no never experienced this but I would help out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been in this situation. My girls are grown so was expected to work Christmas day and let my colleague have it off as she'd young children. I said no. My girls though grown had not been home for Christmas in 3 years. Colleague fell out with me over it.

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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago

south west

Last place I worked would be a closed office from xmas eve through to 27th, then off again NYE and NYD.

A colleague who had been there a while and therefore quite entitled would always put her leave in and take the days in between off, which would usually mean no one else could. This happens from time to time, but always thought it a bit unfair that this young girl with no kids etc would prevent those with families having that extra time off. If we took it in turns, I'd be fine with that.

So while we were sat in the office, bored out of our minds, we put our own leave requests in for the next year.

She had a face like thunder when she realised she would be working g over xmas break for the first time in 5 years!

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Holibobs

"I always work New Year’s Day as most of my colleagues prefer to work Xmas day as they go out NYE but I’ve never come across anything like you say OP but if I did I would swap as it makes no difference to me

We used to do this in retail, all the childless staff would work xmas and all the staff with kids would work new years, a compromise that worked well for us

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By *est kept secretsCouple
over a year ago

Tamworth

I've worked every Christmas for the last 5 years. I've swapped shifts to let other men with young families have the time off. I think she should have put the holiday request in early but I'd swap to make sure the person had the time off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never experienced anything similar but the childless colleague might have very good reason to want Christmas day off."

Even they didn't, they shouldn't have to give up their holiday just because they're childless. Sometimes you just don't want to work Christmas Day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We used to do this in retail, all the childless staff would work xmas and all the staff with kids would work new years, a compromise that worked well for us

Sounds fair and glad it worked well for you guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems fair if the other person worked the last year.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Issue I had with an old work colleague wad he was a selfish prick

The jammy bugger felt entitled yo Christmas holidays off, then also wanted us to compromise/swap during summer school holidays just cause he was a dad. The entitlement on this fella was shocking

thank goodness he left. Hear he's still a miserable prick at new job

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

She's just guilt-tripping people I have worked Christmas Days in the past you just have it on boxing days,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read about this yesterday and I genuinely believe if you have a job where there is a possibility you may have to work when childcare isn't available you either need to make that very clear to your employer when you start or have a child all find another job.

It's not other people's responsibility to work because you chose to have a child that you now don't have childcare for.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"So I saw this story on Reddit & wondered what you lot thought lol

What would you do if you were the childless work colleague & do you think reasons given are valid?

Have you experienced something similar at your workplace?"

I don't have children and I spend Christmas alone.

I take Christmas off because I work non-stop throughout December and this sort of sacrificing for others has made me mentally ill when there is no reciprocation. Nope. I've worked Christmas before and my workplace at that time operated a one-on/one-off policy. As a parent you have to take many L's and this is one of them. It just has to be unpaid authorised leave.

That's where the benefits come in. If you earn less due to no childcare, you get paid a bit more benefit. All families who earn under £50,000 and rent have to live like this.

With my mental health, if I'm unwell/in hospital/etc, I have to take the L but if I earn less, the benefit is topped up for me so I don't starve and become homeless.

Unfortunately in life we can't always get what we want. Autistic or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a tricky one but if I had no plans Christmas day I’d probably swap. Otherwise it’s just unfortunate for her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I read about this yesterday and I genuinely believe if you have a job where there is a possibility you may have to work when childcare isn't available you either need to make that very clear to your employer when you start or have a child all find another job.

It's not other people's responsibility to work because you chose to have a child that you now don't have childcare for. "

Well said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheers for feedback folks

just wanted yo see this from different perspectives

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

The mjm shd b given priority! Most people who could would swap with her I think anyway x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can’t please everyone, sometimes you get the bum deal. You just have to hope that it evens out. Having difficult circumstances don’t make you more entitled to leniency in the bum deal stakes. The difficulty is in her home circumstances not in being asked to work, it’s that she unfortunate enough to have a child for whom care is more difficult. If it’s 50:50 with the other worker then it may seem harsh, but it sounds like it’s just her turn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly my decision would be based entirely how much I liked the colleague asking me to swap. "

^ This.

If it were a colleague I got along well with I am far more likely to sympathise and take one for her to cover her work shift on Christmas itself.

Christmas isn't a biggie to me anyway beyond just a public holiday. That and I think the whole "meet another single over Christmas holidays and let the sparks fly" thing is just a romantic fantasy at best.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I've had this said where I work a few times that those of us without children should be the ones to work Christmas. I don't agree if you are in a job knowing full well that you have to work times like Christmas,new year bank holidays Easter etc then you cannot expect other people to work all of those just because you have children and they don't. And yes it's not just Christmas it happens at it happens at all the other holidays as well. It's as though our lives are not as important as theirs. I have family I want to spend time with as well and they are just as important to me as theirs are to them.

And while I sympathise up to a point I am sick of every year being expected to work those days and being asked to swap if I'm not on. This year I am spending Christmas day with my family for the first time in years because it's been a tough year for us and others can work it for a change.

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

I'd tell the person with the child, if she wants Christmas day off, better go and get another job.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Maybe the person she wanted to cover her has parents who want to spend time with their kids too- just because those kids are adults changes nothing- kids are just a lifestyle choice, if you think they give you a special pass you probably shouldn't have them to start with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was working those of us who had young children swapped shifts with those who didn't,meaning we had Christmas day off and they had New year's eve off

Always worked good

So personally I'd work the Christmas shift for them with small children

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The mjm shd b given priority! Most people who could would swap with her I think anyway x"

No you are wrong most people wouldn't swap unless they were guilt tripped into it which seems to be what is happening here and is not new. This woman assumed she would get the day off simply because she had a child and her colleague didn't so shouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was working those of us who had young children swapped shifts with those who didn't,meaning we had Christmas day off and they had New year's eve off

Always worked good

So personally I'd work the Christmas shift for them with small children "

Yes but it shouldn't be expected.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

Christmas and working with children is tough. I’ve kept in mind staff with children when doing rotas, if they’ve had to work I’ve given them the option of shifts. Generally they’ve preferred the late, and those without children have preferred to work the early. I’m doing a 24 hour shift Christmas Day into Boxing Day, I’ve got young children. It really isn’t easy but thankfully I have a support network around me. I’d rather work new year though

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

not meeting, forums only

"She's just guilt-tripping people I have worked Christmas Days in the past you just have it on boxing days, "
we aren't allowed to book off any days from the 21st Dec till 3rd Jan... I happen to be working Christmas eve, Christmas day, boxing day, the Tuesday Bank Holiday... I also worked them last year too.

However I have done Christmas eve so someone with small kids can be home. I guess I'd swap in the situation as a mother of a special needs daughter. I know how hard it is to get childcare even at normal times.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Well if she can’t get child care, she’s not going into work either way, irrespective of what the childless woman says or does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's a job where you have to work Christmas day, it should be alternating between staff. I work with someone who pulls 'childcare issue' crap the whole year round so christmas isn't any different. Plan in advance and take it in turns, simple as that really.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"The mjm shd b given priority! Most people who could would swap with her I think anyway x

Nothing to do with guilt tripping just the right thing to do imo! And no I'm not "wrong" most people would!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I think the childfree person should feel obliged to work? No.

Would I personally swap? Probably yes as my own kids are grown up and Christmas is pretty much irrelevant nonsense to me.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"If it's a job where you have to work Christmas day, it should be alternating between staff. I work with someone who pulls 'childcare issue' crap the whole year round so christmas isn't any different. Plan in advance and take it in turns, simple as that really."

Yep pretty much this.

No one is any more deserving of time off than anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't swap. Childfree here and have refused to swap with colleagues in the past.

If you want to bang out crotch-goblins then that's on you, but don't let it affect my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same where I work. 'Childcare issues' seem to be an acceptable reason for taking regular random days off. Unfair when the rest of us always put in our full shift.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that its unprofessional.

In the workplace, no one has more entitlement to time off, and parental status should be irrelevant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been in this situation. My girls are grown so was expected to work Christmas day and let my colleague have it off as she'd young children. I said no. My girls though grown had not been home for Christmas in 3 years. Colleague fell out with me over it. "

I've had this too, grown up children and the ones with younger families expect me to swap

I remember booking off October half term because my son who was a Uni student was coming home and it was his Birthday. I never realised it was half term when I booked it and one lady I worked with kicked off at me because she was told she couldn't have it. She felt she was entitled because her kids were small and mine were older. I just said had she asked me instead of kicking off I might of considered it but no way, my time with my boy was as valid to me as her time with her kids, who she saw all year round

So no, I don't think exceptions should be made, everyone has their reasons which matter to them. I always have in the past put colleagues with small children first if I can and the swap has been gratefully received but I don't think it should be expected.

The Mum with the autistic son took the job on with an understanding of hours and days expected to work so I don't think she has reason to demand it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Child has Cerebral Palsy, and is Quadriplegic and needs 24 hour care, so between the two of us we arranged our shifts to cover any sickness.

I have been fairly fortunate in my Jobs to-date, where both my employers have asked for volunteers for Christmas. I've made it clear for both my employers if it is a day I would normally work ie a bank holiday I would work it and would work only on Christmas day if there was no one else available.

I can sympathize as a whole with the woman however, trying to get someone who is specialised in special needs is increasingly difficult, not to mention expensive. We would have to employ 2 carers (because of childs needs) to look after our child for any time we needed to be away. So that's (at a minimum) £15 each (plus holidays, tax, sick etc). Given that we are minimum wage lackeys, it's a bit out of our price range and cheaper to have the day off work.

Do I think it wrong she demand that her colleague works Christmas?

Yes

Can she have the time off? Quite likely. It will just as likely just be unpaid. Swings and roundabouts really. Does it say how she manages the child the rest of the holidays?

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