FabSwingers.com forum: Excuse 27

By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.

I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.

For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.

I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.

I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.

I will be ok I know that.

Take care everyone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t make an excuse, give your real reason if you can’t go. But I hope you feel you can.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

hope you get some sleep and enjoy the social

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

You know what you need to do for you… just relax and be yourself. You are always enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Message the host before hand, ask them to give you bit of guidance or introduce you to some people. Good host should know that anyway and not just leave you to your own devices but no harm asking for little helping hand and friendly pat on the back in person.

Pop an outfit which makes you feel good, do the mirror prep talk and 5 deep breaths and run out of the house before you change your mind.

Not there to impress anyone - just to say hello and get chatting even if it's just to say what a stressful week it has been. Connect and enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anxiety is fear of not knowing what's going to happen, not the other way round. It really is about mind over matter. Have a good night whatever you decide OP x

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

Be honest. People either sympsthise or they don't, and if they don't you dodged a bullet.

Plus, people are surprisingly supportive and honesty could well get the response of an offer of help or support that makes yiu feel able to attend

Most importantly, I hope you feel less anxious tomorrow

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"You know what you need to do for you… just relax and be yourself. You are always enough

Thank you gorgeous

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

Good luck OP, I get nerves before socials but I’m sure she’ll be lovely. Splash on the Brut, put your best bib & tucker on and knock her socks off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah sorry. Did I get it wrong and it isn't a group social?

In that case - talk to them about your worries. Best.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Anxiety is fear of not knowing what's going to happen, not the other way round. It really is about mind over matter. Have a good night whatever you decide OP x"

Anxiety, really, really isn't a case of mind over matter.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Come and read the wonky threads: you're not alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anxiety is fear of not knowing what's going to happen, not the other way round. It really is about mind over matter. Have a good night whatever you decide OP x

Anxiety, really, really isn't a case of mind over matter.

I suffered with severe anxiety five years ago and although it took a long time, I got over it through re-training my brain and thinking about the good things that would happen if I did something or went somewhere new x

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By *arialoueWoman
over a year ago

bradford

I know that feeling it's a mixture of anxiety and my confidence to meet anyone coz I've been let down sooo many times, tonight I asked someone to meet up for a social n he said I don't do socials ,my reply was you can't want to meet me that much then just a one off social

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

thank you everyone xx

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

Sending sleepy dust your way, I bet the social will be miles better than you think!!

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"Sending sleepy dust your way, I bet the social will be miles better than you think!!

thank you

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

still awake still running shit through my head

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

The scariest part will always be the build-up, the waiting.

Like a performer waiting backstage before a show, the nerves will be feeling insurmountable, you'll think of any excuse you can not to do it... but once you step on the stage and start doing your thing the nerves just melt away.

The social tomorrow is a show, the club is the stage and you're playing the role of you, and you'll steal the show because it's the role you were born to play

Good luck with tomorrow, break a leg

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

Hope to see you their tomorrow

..x

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"Hope to see you there tomorrow

..x"

I will be there if I say I'll show up I will, not one for doing a no-show

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hope to see you there tomorrow

..x

I will be there if I say I'll show up I will, not one for doing a no-show

Did you sleep well?

Good luck.

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"Hope to see you there tomorrow

..x

I will be there if I say I'll show up I will, not one for doing a no-show

Did you sleep well?

Good luck.

About 5 hrs which is an improvement on zero the night before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you manage your fears and have a lovely time xx

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"I hope you manage your fears and have a lovely time xx"

Thank you xx

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.

I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.

For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.

I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.

I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.

I will be ok I know that.

Take care everyone x"

You recognise your challenge.

You know you can do it.

You know you'll feel great once it's done.

You know you'll enjoy it when you get there.

You got this!!!!!

Winston

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.

I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.

For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.

I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.

I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.

I will be ok I know that.

Take care everyone x

You recognise your challenge.

You know you can do it.

You know you'll feel great once it's done.

You know you'll enjoy it when you get there.

You got this!!!!!

Winston "

Thank you

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.

I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.

For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.

I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.

I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.

I will be ok I know that.

Take care everyone x"

How you doing today OP?

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.

I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.

For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.

I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.

I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.

I will be ok I know that.

Take care everyone x

How you doing today OP? "

I managed some sleep though still tired

Currently on brew 3 but still in bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hope to see you there tomorrow

..x

I will be there if I say I'll show up I will, not one for doing a no-show

Did you sleep well?

Good luck.

About 5 hrs which is an improvement on zero the night before

5 hours is loads!

You could do a speed social. Spend 3 minutes chatting to someone, then move on to the next.

I don't usually get to 3 minutes because their eyes glaze over before their time's up.

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.

I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.

For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.

I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.

I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.

I will be ok I know that.

Take care everyone x

How you doing today OP?

I managed some sleep though still tired

Currently on brew 3 but still in bed

Up and at 'em soldier!

Have a good time at the social.

Winston

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"Hope to see you there tomorrow

..x

I will be there if I say I'll show up I will, not one for doing a no-show

Did you sleep well?

Good luck.

About 5 hrs which is an improvement on zero the night before

5 hours is loads!

You could do a speed social. Spend 3 minutes chatting to someone, then move on to the next.

I don't usually get to 3 minutes because their eyes glaze over before their time's up.

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

Good luck! Hope it goes well x

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"Good luck! Hope it goes well x"

Thank you lovely lady xx

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.

I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.

For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.

I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.

I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.

I will be ok I know that.

Take care everyone x

How you doing today OP?

I managed some sleep though still tired

Currently on brew 3 but still in bed

My advice, fwiw, relax, get out of your head, have a nice time. Good luck.

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.

I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.

For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.

I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.

I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.

I will be ok I know that.

Take care everyone x

How you doing today OP?

I managed some sleep though still tired

Currently on brew 3 but still in bed

My advice, fwiw, relax, get out of your head, have a nice time. Good luck. "

thank you xx

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

Have a great time today! I’m sure it’ll be great!

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"Have a great time today! I’m sure it’ll be great!

I got all day to think of other reasons lol but I will go and thank you x

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Good luck hope u make it x

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"Good luck hope u make it x"

thank you I will xx

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By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

"Don’t make an excuse, give your real reason if you can’t go. But I hope you feel you can."

I agree with this. No one likes a flake but when you tell people it's because of anxiety you get a two fold result- one the honesty is respected and 2. Nearly every one has suffered anxiety at some point and they are understanding. So they will do anything possible to help ease the anxiety.

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"Don’t make an excuse, give your real reason if you can’t go. But I hope you feel you can.

Mr "

The excuses are just in my head, if I felt I could not go I would definitely tell the organisers the real reason, they are aware of my anxiety as well and have said they will personally introduce me to others

Right now the anxiety is well under control, I have done my morning meditaion

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By *he.J.CCouple
over a year ago

Thetford

J here.

This is a fair point fella. No laughing matter I'd anxiety.

The lady your meeting I'd bet is the same. Passing comment to simplify it; Harness it, grab your dick in your hand and do it! Don't even think about it

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I wish you all the best.

Most of us have been there, in one way or another, and I am the perfect example of what anxiety can do to you.

I can’t bring myself to meet anyone so you’re doing really well, hope it all goes smoothly for you.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"You know what you need to do for you… just relax and be yourself. You are always enough

Love this. OP - I think it’s fair to say that about:

1) 10% of people on fab are knobheads. If you end up meeting anyone like that, stuff ‘em. They aren’t good enough for you.

2) 10% of people on fab are in the same boat and finding their way. They’re having new experiences like those first dates we all used to dread, but quickly realise we like each other and just chat about anything we have in common. By the end you’ll be laughing together and dying for that first kiss.

3) 80% of people on fab are the most interesting, wonderful, supportive, engaging, fabulous people who have probably experienced your emotions too. Whoever you’re meeting today is highly likely to fall into that category and will make you feel at ease. You come across in the forums as a really nice guy. I hope you have a fun time and make some new friends

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.

I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.

For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.

I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.

I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.

I will be ok I know that.

Take care everyone x"

Sorry to hear about your anxiety. It's debilitating at times. I'd just be open about it. People are finally starting to discuss emotional well being. Look... You've shared it with a bunch of strangers on here... So sharing it with another one won't be any harder.

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

Thank you everyone again for the lovely words and encouragement x

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By *ittleRed18Woman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

It's completely understandable to feel anxious and vulnerable about these kinds of situations. Although I would say once you've been along to one once it makes every time easier and easier. There will be at least 4 other people feeling the same way as you and I'm sure your host will do everything they can to make you feel welcome and relaxed.

Bite the bullet and go! Why feel awful for the hours running up

everytime to change your mind and back out and have zero pay off for it. The horrible feeling would all be for nothing... JUST GO!

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"It's completely understandable to feel anxious and vulnerable about these kinds of situations. Although I would say once you've been along to one once it makes every time easier and easier. There will be at least 4 other people feeling the same way as you and I'm sure your host will do everything they can to make you feel welcome and relaxed.

Bite the bullet and go! Why feel awful for the hours running up

everytime to change your mind and back out and have zero pay off for it. The horrible feeling would all be for nothing... JUST GO! "

I am going

even ironed my stuff ready lol

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By *ittleRed18Woman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Bite the bullet and go! Why feel awful for the hours running up

everytime to change your mind and back out and have zero pay off for it. The horrible feeling would all be for nothing... JUST GO!

I am going

even ironed my stuff ready lol"

Yay!

Have an ace time!

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I have a saying that if it sounds like an excuse, its an excuse.

Also know that people can and will see through excuses and it may affect how they view you going forwards.

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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

"I have a saying that if it sounds like an excuse, its an excuse.

Also know that people can and will see through excuses and it may affect how they view you going forwards."

As I said previously they are internal excuses, and that if I could not go it would be purely down to my anxiety and I would say that,

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