FabSwingers.com forum: It's been a difficult day

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

So some of you may or may not know I lost my beloved Jay on 17th of October.

Today I went and laid flowers on the bench we always sat at Rutland water next to the waters edge. It was pouring with rain and I'd been waiting for the weather to pick up and it hadn't so I went today.

Last time Jay and I went it was a lovely autumn day and we sat on the bench eating our sandwiches and then went for a walk.

I shed a few tears today but still haven't cried properly. It feels more real now.

When I came home I took my condolence cards down as they can't stay up forever.

So now I'm sitting having a bacardi with a picture of him reminiscing about all the good times we had of which there where many.

With him being a lot older than me we always knew this day would come but I thought we had a few years yet.

Thanks for reading.

Karen

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

I don’t know either of you, but I’m so sorry for your loss.

Grief isn’t linear and doesn’t follow a pattern. It catches you unawares.

Time is healing & your memories will be your best friends and your worst enemies.

Be kind to yourself. Cry, laugh, scream. Allow yourself to grieve and allow yourself to heal x

Much love to you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

Grief is a horrible, relentless and draining process, and is one of the inevitable negative aspects of having someone you love in your life. You have my deepest sympathy Karen.

I hope you have close friends and family to turn to in this difficult time and that you gain some comfort from the fact that you had Jay in your life to reciprocate the love that you obviously feel for him.

If talking here helps then you will find friendly and empathetic people who will listen.

Again, sorry for your loss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst I don’t know either of you, lease accept my sincere condolences. I can only imagine how hard it is. I hope you have people supporting you. My experiences of grief have been hard, I hope you are able to be kind to yourself and find a way through. Take care x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how much Jay meant to you and I know you’ve struggled to let the grief out so I’m glad that you had a release today.

It won’t be easy but I hope that this will help you to move forwards as I know Jay would want you to thrive and enjoy life.

You know where I am .. my inbox is always open (in case the temporary name is confusing you it’s Dan

)

Lots of love right at ya

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'm so sorry for your loss

Sending you love today ,grief is so individual and takes time get fo through.

Be kind to yourself Diamond ,talk to friends and family and do things that make you feel some comfort ,if not happiness at this stage

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Thanks for shareing haveing lost loved ones understand your greif

Wishing you all the best .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Thank-you. I have a lot of support. My occupational therapist is doubling up as grief Councillor. 16 years with someone is a long time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Sorry to hear about your sad loss

When I joined all those years ago you used to talk about him loads and it was so nice to see.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank-you. I have a lot of support. My occupational therapist is doubling up as grief Councillor. 16 years with someone is a long time"

Lots and lots of happy memories.

Hugs from me. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

So sorry for your loss karen. Grief is a funny old thing as it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Take time to remember the happy times you shared together when times get really bad. Take care lovely. Joanne & John xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry for you loss

He will forever live in your heart ??

Chat anytime xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Thank-you everyone. Yes he will always be in my heart. I didn't meet him till I was 41 but he's the only man I truly loved

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, how awful. So sorry for your loss xx

Nell

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am very sorry for your lost. I wish you strength for the path ahead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ervice2000Man
over a year ago

derby

Oh No!! Im so sorry to hear your sad story!! My thoughts are with you!! Im sure Jay is by your side and keeping you strong!! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

. Thoughts with you at this difficult time x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending you love

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

"So some of you may or may not know I lost my beloved Jay on 17th of October.

Last time Jay and I went it was a lovely autumn day and we sat on the bench eating our sandwiches and then went for a walk.

I shed a few tears today but still haven't cried properly. It feels more real now.

When I came home I took my condolence cards down as they can't stay up forever.

So now I'm sitting having a bacardi with a picture of him reminiscing about all the good times we had of which there where many.

With him being a lot older than me we always knew this day would come but I thought we had a few years yet.

Thanks for reading.

Karen"

Really sorry for your loss. Grief is awful and at first relentless. When my wife died in 2005 after nearly 28 years of marriage I felt so lost, heartbroken and still do to some degree. I'm glad you have friends and family you can talk to. I just couldn't tbh. My 9 kids wanted me to talk to them but i couldn't it became to real talking about her. Hope you get through and have the best memories

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry for your loss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

I’m so sorry to read this.

I can empathise with the loss of a partner.

I was just surviving for the first six months, it didn’t hit me.

It’s so up and down. Just try and take it hour by hour, day by day. Sending so much love your way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I'm so sorry for your loss.xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annabarberaCouple
over a year ago

Staffs

Bless you our thoughts are with you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm so sorry for your loss Karen. I hope the memories of the many good times shared bring you some comfort.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to read that you lost him, I know how much he meant to you.

There are no rules with grief, just take it one day at a time xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Thank-you everyone. Yes he will always be in my heart. I didn't meet him till I was 41 but he's the only man I truly loved"

When you used to post on the forums, your love for him was obvious whenever you mentioned him.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss DiamondSmiles

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

One of my friends used to say when I talked about him my voice would change and get softer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to read this, i could tell how much he meant to you. Take care of yourself, loss is a difficult emotion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

XXX

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so sorry

. Sending love and hugs.

Rip Jay

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can empathise with the loss of a partner, sending you much love and strength xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aleforfun22Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

So sorry for your loss xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Thank-you everyone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubeeStarrXoXTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

So sorry for your loss OP. Sending you loves and kisses ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubeeStarrXoXTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

"So sorry for your loss OP. Sending you loves and kisses ?? "

Sorry the ?? Was meant to be a heart but not showing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

sorry for your loss, think of the lovely times you had together, im sure hes watching over you everyday,,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

Sorry for your loss Karen. Sending massive hugs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Hope the sun came out today for you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"sorry for your loss, think of the lovely times you had together, im sure hes watching over you everyday,,"
I felt as though he was with me today I could just picture him. I Hope he's with me. I didn't stay as long as I liked as it was pouring with rain

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I remember when I first joined how you talked about him, so much love.

I'm sorry to read your sad news. One day at a time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I'm sorry for your loss. It gets easier over time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

One happy memory I've got of Jay is a photo of him in a monkey onsie I bought my son. His face is a picture as if to say did she really make me wear this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

The bacardi is hitting the spot now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Sending you our love, we know that losing a loved one is horrible

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Thank-you again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending love.

I'm sorry to learn of your loss. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry for your loss,no pain comes even close to grief just try to take one day at a time,cry shout scream if it helps you

Try and remember that no one can take away your memories of Jay and in time you will smile& be happy again

God bless and take care x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Having forum known you from a distance for quite some time we offer our heartfelt condolences.

Remember what you had and not what you’ve lost if that’s at all possible currently

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Thank-you everyone. Yes he will always be in my heart. I didn't meet him till I was 41 but he's the only man I truly loved"

I saw how much he truly loved you too. That's a precious thing.

Don't rush your grief, it has only been a month. After 16 years that is but a little blip of time. Allow yourself the kindness you would give others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I'm smiling tonight the picture I have of him was taken at the ritzy. I walked in and knocked the menu clean of the table

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Karen I am so sorry for your loss. I thought I had a bad day till I read your thread. I do hope you will be ok. Take care and be kind to yourself xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

You have our best wishes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Think I'm going to bed now. I've had enough bacardi. One thing is I can still him that I take great comfort in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ab FunstersCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Big hugs Karen, take care of yourself. I'm sure you have a treasure trove of memories to delve into...it's hard i know and it feels a lonely place to be.I hope you have a good support network around you and you always have the fab muppets on here to chat shit with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved. Your pain is palpable but there will come a time when your memories of him will make you smile without the tears that follow them now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Thank-you again everyone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

I noticed you hadn't participated in the forum's for some months, I didn't know of you had lost Jay. I am truly sorry for your loss and this painful journey.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so sorry for your loss Karen

Rutland waters is a beautiful place, I hope you find solace in your memories

Sending virtual hugs +love xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

So sorry for your loss Karen x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I've just woken up to quite a few pms. Thank-you. I appreciate your kindness

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread