FabSwingers.com forum: Mental health issues ?

By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

I’m posting this hoping that anyone interested, doesn’t view it as an option to hook up.

I personally have some diagnosed mental health issues, and they sometimes make life quite awkward.

This is a very accepting platform, so I’m wondering if there are other people here (regardless of gender or sexual orientation) that can identify with this ?

So I guess I’m hoping that some people might be willing to reach out - and others lend an ear ?

I’m a mental health advocate, I can’t promise to solve anyones problems, but I’ll try to help - just ask ?!

if anyone else is willing, to help, just say ‘yes’ below. It might give those who find it difficult to approach a certain type of person, a bit more scope ?

Thank you….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll reply. I feel like this isn’t the place to discuss these issues. I do feel you though, and don’t mean to knock you down, but fab isn’t the place. At least not for dedicated stuff like this. Imo

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

I respect what your saying, but in my experience, sometimes people on certain types of platforms like this, are struggling with personal issues - the whole site doesn’t have to be focused on one thing right ?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Fab has been helpful in the past to many with mental health issues. The caveat is always this is not a place for diagnosis and treatment.

Kind words, genuine empathy and place to off load anonymously can help. I also think it is safer to keep it to the thread to avoid misunderstandings about the relationship being offered.

I am not open to offering help via PM but I will respond when I can to posts on the thread.

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By *nto the LouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"I’ll reply. I feel like this isn’t the place to discuss these issues. I do feel you though, and don’t mean to knock you down, but fab isn’t the place. At least not for dedicated stuff like this. Imo"

I’m sorry you feel this way. The regular mental health threads on here prove that it’s very much a place full of people willing to listen and offer support

OP, you’ll find lots of people on here willing to join in I’m sure x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I respect what your saying, but in my experience, sometimes people on certain types of platforms like this, are struggling with personal issues - the whole site doesn’t have to be focused on one thing right ? "

I think it depends. I have a rough time pretty much all of the time but it’s not the thing to put on here. If someone has *circumstantial* MH issues, then I think it’s more appropriate.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

I think it depends. I have a rough time pretty much all of the time but it’s not the thing to put on here. If someone has *circumstantial* MH issues, then I think it’s more appropriate. "

I understand what you're saying here! I'm mentally ill so will always struggle for the rest of my days, but I've accepted that. If I can help someone through a rough patch I'll always do my best x

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By *nto the LouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I think it depends. I have a rough time pretty much all of the time but it’s not the thing to put on here. If someone has *circumstantial* MH issues, then I think it’s more appropriate. "

I post a weekly check-in thread on a Monday and always start with checking in myself. It’s been running for around a year now and is always well supported and has regular contributors. I’d hope that anybody who felt they needed support at any time could reach out and receive it x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think Fab can be the best place and the worst place for these discussions and for finding support.

I've stopped talking about it here because I don't have the energy for it, but I hope that it gains traction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle too and am always happy to help anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends. I have a rough time pretty much all of the time but it’s not the thing to put on here. If someone has *circumstantial* MH issues, then I think it’s more appropriate.

I understand what you're saying here! I'm mentally ill so will always struggle for the rest of my days, but I've accepted that. If I can help someone through a rough patch I'll always do my best x"

Yeah I guess I am too

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

Thank you, I feel this is as good a place as any to find understanding people x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you, I feel this is as good a place as any to find understanding people x"

I still don’t think it’s really appropriate tbqh but ofc always want to help where I can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m posting this hoping that anyone interested, doesn’t view it as an option to hook up.

I personally have some diagnosed mental health issues, and they sometimes make life quite awkward.

This is a very accepting platform, so I’m wondering if there are other people here (regardless of gender or sexual orientation) that can identify with this ?

So I guess I’m hoping that some people might be willing to reach out - and others lend an ear ?

I’m a mental health advocate, I can’t promise to solve anyones problems, but I’ll try to help - just ask ?!

if anyone else is willing, to help, just say ‘yes’ below. It might give those who find it difficult to approach a certain type of person, a bit more scope ?

Thank you….

If you (or anyone) is dealing with mental health issues it’s maybe not the best time to be offering support/help to others. Focusing on dealing with your own health is the priority. There is light at the end of the tunnel I’ve been there. Virtual hugs to anyone struggling right now.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

What a lovely idea OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It should get its own forum category if so. I’m totally down to help people. But I’m aware for others (not me), it’s not “nice” to see even the title of these threads. I get where they’re coming from

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

That’s such a great thing to do ! Is there a way to signpost that here so others can join in ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It should get its own forum category if so. I’m totally down to help people. But I’m aware for others (not me), it’s not “nice” to see even the title of these threads. I get where they’re coming from"

Great idea. Get rid of the now pointless Virus thread and replace it with something useful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the anonymity of the platform absolutely helps people to perhaps open up with no threat of judgement that impacts their real life

I would hope that people are kind, open hearted and sincere in any advice +help provided

I would just err though, treat it as an uninformed friend - don't neglect professional help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't agree. Why don't you feel mental health should be discussed here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great idea. Get rid of the now pointless Virus thread and replace it with something useful. "

Iv suggested before it is changed to the health section but nothing happened.

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

I don’t want to be rude to you, but I think you’ve made your point, I guess it’s not for you,but others might like the idea of talking anonymously ?

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By *nto the LouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"That’s such a great thing to do ! Is there a way to signpost that here so others can join in ? "

Not sure if this was in reply to me, but if it was then old threads can be found by doing a forum

search for ‘Weekly Mental Health Check-in’ and there will be a new one up tomorrow. Everybody is welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t want to be rude to you, but I think you’ve made your point, I guess it’s not for you,but others might like the idea of talking anonymously ? "

If you press quote +reply on the comment, we'll know whose comment you are answering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t want to be rude to you, but I think you’ve made your point, I guess it’s not for you,but others might like the idea of talking anonymously ? "

Guessing he meant me. I’m happy to talk too though!

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

I get exactly what your saying, and it’s a good thing to talk and listen ? I’m here for anyone including you !

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

"I don’t want to be rude to you, but I think you’ve made your point, I guess it’s not for you,but others might like the idea of talking anonymously ?

If you press quote +reply on the comment, we'll know whose comment you are answering

Sorry ! This is new to me

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Great idea. Get rid of the now pointless Virus thread and replace it with something useful. "

I bet it'd keep being a thunderdome

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

"That’s such a great thing to do ! Is there a way to signpost that here so others can join in ?

Not sure if this was in reply to me, but if it was then old threads can be found by doing a forum

search for ‘Weekly Mental Health Check-in’ and there will be a new one up tomorrow. Everybody is welcome

Thank you ! Sorry about my non tech savvy approach to all this

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

"What a lovely idea OP

Thank you, we have to try to help each other…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP do you also have professional support?

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

"I don’t want to be rude to you, but I think you’ve made your point, I guess it’s not for you,but others might like the idea of talking anonymously ?

Guessing he meant me. I’m happy to talk too though!"

It was to you, and thank you !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please be careful all. Especially if you are dealing with MH challenges yourself.

There is no way to be sure you or they won't respond negatively to this forum approach. It is a huge responsibility to consider touching this without the benefit of professionals.

Good health to all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental health should be discussed where ever the person feels comfortable talking about it, wether it’s a swinging site, a car forum, with Dave at the local corner shop.

That moment to talk can turn someone from taking action and help them cope with an issue they are experiencing and it doesn’t require a professional to do so.

On a forum, it can be easier to ask or discuss issues, it gets rid of a lot of embarrassment that the person may be feeling by talking face to face, it’s a fantastic idea.

Discuss it openly on a thread or private message some one, whatever you are comfortable with.

There’s no shame in being broken, I’m unashamedly broken and admit it often, never hide it.

Anyone who shames mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, congratulations, you’re a strong person, good for you.

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By *nto the LouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"That’s such a great thing to do ! Is there a way to signpost that here so others can join in ?

Not sure if this was in reply to me, but if it was then old threads can be found by doing a forum

search for ‘Weekly Mental Health Check-in’ and there will be a new one up tomorrow. Everybody is welcome

Thank you ! Sorry about my non tech savvy approach to all this

No problem at all, everyone’s just doing their best! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mental health should be discussed where ever the person feels comfortable talking about it, wether it’s a swinging site, a car forum, with Dave at the local corner shop.

That moment to talk can turn someone from taking action and help them cope with an issue they are experiencing and it doesn’t require a professional to do so.

On a forum, it can be easier to ask or discuss issues, it gets rid of a lot of embarrassment that the person may be feeling by talking face to face, it’s a fantastic idea.

Discuss it openly on a thread or private message some one, whatever you are comfortable with.

There’s no shame in being broken, I’m unashamedly broken and admit it often, never hide it.

Anyone who shames mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, congratulations, you’re a strong person, good for you. "

Who’s shaming anyone? I hope you didn’t mean me, I personally relate to this on a very deep level - more than I’d get into - but I just don’t think fab is the best place (unless there’s a dedicated category).

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

"Fab has been helpful in the past to many with mental health issues. The caveat is always this is not a place for diagnosis and treatment.

Kind words, genuine empathy and place to off load anonymously can help. I also think it is safer to keep it to the thread to avoid misunderstandings about the relationship being offered.

I am not open to offering help via PM but I will respond when I can to posts on the thread.

Sorry - I did reply, but didn’t attach it to your quote

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

"That’s such a great thing to do ! Is there a way to signpost that here so others can join in ?

Not sure if this was in reply to me, but if it was then old threads can be found by doing a forum

search for ‘Weekly Mental Health Check-in’ and there will be a new one up tomorrow. Everybody is welcome

Thank you ! Sorry about my non tech savvy approach to all this

No problem at all, everyone’s just doing their best! x"

Thank you !

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By *ena AmourTV/TS
over a year ago

Chard

Yes I will help, others have helped me. I would do the same. Just a sympathetic ear.

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

"Yes I will help, others have helped me. I would do the same. Just a sympathetic ear. "

Exactly that !

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

[Removed by poster at 30/10/22 21:55:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who’s shaming anyone? I hope you didn’t mean me, I personally relate to this on a very deep level - more than I’d get into - but I just don’t think fab is the best place (unless there’s a dedicated category). "

I seen a thread on here recently, a guy openly admitted he had a problem, he got ripped to pieces and shamed for it, there’s no need or place for that.

Fab may not be the best place, but it could be the ONLY place for that 1 person.

I can relate wholeheartedly, I've had counselling, I’ve ran a hose from my cars exhaust, I’ve lined up the pills and bottles of booze for an overdose, I’ve sat on the edge of a bridge.

A dedicated thread is a great idea.

If 5 minutes of time can stop someone taking action or help them see a solution, it doesn’t matter where the hell they get it from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is a fab idea (no pun intended.....well maybe a little one)

MH support can come.in loads of different ways, and peer support for me has been the most valuable. Ofc things like diagnosis and medication is left to the professionals but reaching out and knowing you are not alone is potentially life changing.

I'd big up Starfly Lou's thread too, I know it's well established and people get a lot from it.

Personally I don't think it is for anyone to decide what should and shouldn't be discussed. No one is forced and if people don't like it they don't have to engage. Personally I think talking g openly about MH is appropriate in any setting.

Lovely thought OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/10/22 22:09:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this is a fab idea (no pun intended.....well maybe a little one)

I'd big up Starfly Lou's thread too, I know it's well established and people get a lot from it.

Lovely thought OP

Exactly this, mental health issues are there, wether people like it or not, and if they don’t, they can simply scroll on by.

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

"That’s such a great thing to do ! Is there a way to signpost that here so others can join in ?

Not sure if this was in reply to me, but if it was then old threads can be found by doing a forum

search for ‘Weekly Mental Health Check-in’ and there will be a new one up tomorrow. Everybody is welcome

It was ! I’m trying to get better at this ! Thank you again

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

"I think this is a fab idea (no pun intended.....well maybe a little one)

I'd big up Starfly Lou's thread too, I know it's well established and people get a lot from it.

Lovely thought OP

Exactly this, mental health issues are there, wether people like it or not, and if they don’t, they can simply scroll on by. "

Totally agree, if anyone wants or needs to discuss mental health, they should be able to do so with people who are accepting and happy to listen…

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

[Removed by poster at 30/10/22 22:37:09]

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"I don’t want to be rude to you, but I think you’ve made your point, I guess it’s not for you,but others might like the idea of talking anonymously ? "

I always admire people starting threads like this. The weekly mental health thread is lovely ahd supportive as are the threads around autism.

It's a shame when someone reacts negatively and discourages the topic. They reality is talking about mental health removes the stigma and thst is massively important so well done OP.

Sometimes the best support is knowing others have had similar issues and these forums are brilliant for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll chat if you want, I'll give you my ear and my shoulder as well,you can sit down next to me sir

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cup is running a little empty recently but I am always willing to just listen. A bit of shared experience helps allways. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Okay well everyone seems open and I doubt I’ll meet anyone so.. I was badly abused by my mum as a child (used to kick me in the balls when I was at least 8) and all I want in life is affection. This is pretty much just horny affection for me, but it’s affection more broadly that I want or need even. Someone to hug and who I can love back. But people aren’t attracted to people with mental illness. So what do I do? I’m so dissociated I don’t understand a lot of this. And yes, I’m seeing someone. I’m scared and just want a hug rn more than anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay well everyone seems open and I doubt I’ll meet anyone so.. I was badly abused by my mum as a child (used to kick me in the balls when I was at least 8) and all I want in life is affection. This is pretty much just horny affection for me, but it’s affection more broadly that I want or need even. Someone to hug and who I can love back. But people aren’t attracted to people with mental illness. So what do I do? I’m so dissociated I don’t understand a lot of this. And yes, I’m seeing someone. I’m scared and just want a hug rn more than anything"

This is a lot to cope with. Firstly be kind to yourself. It's a huge deal to talk about this on an open forum. Whilst many of us won't identify with your experience, we will identify with having attachment issues and craving affection. You aren't alone in that.

I can't offer anything apart from support, understanding and a huge, warm virtual hug xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't offer anything apart from support, understanding and a huge, warm virtual hug xx"

I kinda regret posting this tbh but thx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did I say this

now I don’t stand a chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m normally ok I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suspect a lot of people on here have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and use the site as a way to engage in reckless behaviour.

In that sense, this is completely the correct place for a thread like this. People with BPD do things, then regret them, then do them again. Round and round in a big guilt ridden, hate of oneself loop. So if this is where they engage in that behaviour, they should also have a place here to duscuss it and the way it makes them feel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ffs someone just messaged me saying “need sucking now” could they not, some creepy people on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shouldn’t have said what I said anyway, sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happy vibes

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By *StepsAheadMan
over a year ago

lancs

Mate i used to suffer bad mental health and i met a MH worker from fab for a talk that turned into several sweaty horny sessions, now ive learnt how to understand and control it and even though i still have epidodes of depression im all good, but youl notive if you mention mental health on here there is alot of people who dont agree with posting it, to be honest posting it on here was the best thing i could of done for myself, and i thank the women from fab for helping me

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By *rystalsswingCouple
over a year ago

Galway

I can't offer anything apart from support, understanding and a huge, warm virtual hug xx"

Absolutely identify with craving affection. Virtual hugs being sent to you from me (Cherry), sorry to hear of your experiences OP, and I genuinely hope you find some peace in the very near future x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mate i used to suffer bad mental health and i met a MH worker from fab for a talk that turned into several sweaty horny sessions, now ive learnt how to understand and control it and even though i still have epidodes of depression im all good, but youl notive if you mention mental health on here there is alot of people who dont agree with posting it, to be honest posting it on here was the best thing i could of done for myself, and i thank the women from fab for helping me

Weird, I got really strong deja vu from that and I rarely ever do but maybe it’s just wishful thinking lol. I don’t know what can help me other than I will always try and be good and that’s all that I live to try and be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't offer anything apart from support, understanding and a huge, warm virtual hug xx

Absolutely identify with craving affection. Virtual hugs being sent to you from me (Cherry), sorry to hear of your experiences OP, and I genuinely hope you find some peace in the very near future x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ffs someone just messaged me saying “need sucking now” could they not, some creepy people on here"

I've read your previous post on here. You've had a lot to deal with and I hope that the help you're getting is good.

When you get messages like the one above, block, delete and move on. They're not worth your time.

And people do love those with mental health. Never give up. It took until I was 51 to find someone who not only loves me on my good days, but loves me even more on my bad days when I don't love myself. I've got him and my best friend who never give up on me. I hope you find that one day too.

Hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mental health should be discussed where ever the person feels comfortable talking about it, wether it’s a swinging site, a car forum, with Dave at the local corner shop.

That moment to talk can turn someone from taking action and help them cope with an issue they are experiencing and it doesn’t require a professional to do so.

On a forum, it can be easier to ask or discuss issues, it gets rid of a lot of embarrassment that the person may be feeling by talking face to face, it’s a fantastic idea.

Discuss it openly on a thread or private message some one, whatever you are comfortable with.

There’s no shame in being broken, I’m unashamedly broken and admit it often, never hide it.

Anyone who shames mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, congratulations, you’re a strong person, good for you.

I think Fab is a great place for talking about MH.

I have severe MH problems and find this place helps a lot. It's annonymous which is great.

The weekly thread is a very supportive place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/10/22 01:02:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this is a fab idea (no pun intended.....well maybe a little one)

I'd big up Starfly Lou's thread too, I know it's well established and people get a lot from it.

Lovely thought OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mental health should be discussed where ever the person feels comfortable talking about it, wether it’s a swinging site, a car forum, with Dave at the local corner shop.

That moment to talk can turn someone from taking action and help them cope with an issue they are experiencing and it doesn’t require a professional to do so.

On a forum, it can be easier to ask or discuss issues, it gets rid of a lot of embarrassment that the person may be feeling by talking face to face, it’s a fantastic idea.

Discuss it openly on a thread or private message some one, whatever you are comfortable with.

There’s no shame in being broken, I’m unashamedly broken and admit it often, never hide it.

Anyone who shames mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, congratulations, you’re a strong person, good for you.

I think Fab is a great place for talking about MH.

I have severe MH problems and find this place helps a lot. It's annonymous which is great.

The weekly thread is a very supportive place."

I want to beat them though. I’ve actually only said the tip of the iceberg of bad stuff, i think to a certain extent I can beat it so long as I have self esteem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ffs someone just messaged me saying “need sucking now” could they not, some creepy people on here

I've read your previous post on here. You've had a lot to deal with and I hope that the help you're getting is good.

When you get messages like the one above, block, delete and move on. They're not worth your time.

Hugs x"

Ty, very glad you found your happily ever after or relatively speaking at least

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By *haneleviMan
over a year ago

Kidderminster

Suffered since my teens. Comes and goes. Has it stick for a few years now though. Become socially awkward now aswell which is a killer at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mental health should be discussed where ever the person feels comfortable talking about it, wether it’s a swinging site, a car forum, with Dave at the local corner shop.

That moment to talk can turn someone from taking action and help them cope with an issue they are experiencing and it doesn’t require a professional to do so.

On a forum, it can be easier to ask or discuss issues, it gets rid of a lot of embarrassment that the person may be feeling by talking face to face, it’s a fantastic idea.

Discuss it openly on a thread or private message some one, whatever you are comfortable with.

There’s no shame in being broken, I’m unashamedly broken and admit it often, never hide it.

Anyone who shames mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, congratulations, you’re a strong person, good for you.

I think Fab is a great place for talking about MH.

I have severe MH problems and find this place helps a lot. It's annonymous which is great.

The weekly thread is a very supportive place.

I want to beat them though. I’ve actually only said the tip of the iceberg of bad stuff, i think to a certain extent I can beat it so long as I have self esteem"

I don't tell people exactly what causes some of my MH problems but say generally about how i'm feeling, it helps me a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck it I’ve beaten so much already, from now on I’m gonna be a warrior until i sort things out

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By *haneleviMan
over a year ago

Kidderminster

"Fuck it I’ve beaten so much already, from now on I’m gonna be a warrior until i sort things out"

Love this mate. Don't let it get the better of you bud

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By *nto the LouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I can't offer anything apart from support, understanding and a huge, warm virtual hug xx

I kinda regret posting this tbh but thx"

It’s clear that it took a lot of courage to be as open and vulnerable as you were there and you should definitely give yourself credit for that.

As the reply there mentions (sorry, I’ve forgotten now who posted it), attachment issues and trauma during childhood generally follow us into adulthood as they alter our brain structure and responses to things - usually rooted in fear (as you mention) and survival.

I’m unsure if you’ve seen or are seeing a professional for help in this, but I think if you could access some support then it could be really helpful for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mental health should be discussed where ever the person feels comfortable talking about it, wether it’s a swinging site, a car forum, with Dave at the local corner shop.

That moment to talk can turn someone from taking action and help them cope with an issue they are experiencing and it doesn’t require a professional to do so.

On a forum, it can be easier to ask or discuss issues, it gets rid of a lot of embarrassment that the person may be feeling by talking face to face, it’s a fantastic idea.

Discuss it openly on a thread or private message some one, whatever you are comfortable with.

There’s no shame in being broken, I’m unashamedly broken and admit it often, never hide it.

Anyone who shames mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, congratulations, you’re a strong person, good for you.

I think Fab is a great place for talking about MH.

I have severe MH problems and find this place helps a lot. It's annonymous which is great.

The weekly thread is a very supportive place.

I want to beat them though. I’ve actually only said the tip of the iceberg of bad stuff, i think to a certain extent I can beat it so long as I have self esteem

I don't tell people exactly what causes some of my MH problems but say generally about how i'm feeling, it helps me a lot."

That first step can steer some one onto a better course, as long as you or they are comfortable, it’s worth it.

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

I can't offer anything apart from support, understanding and a huge, warm virtual hug xx"

Agreed - and beautifully said…

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

I would suspect a lot of people on here have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and use the site as a way to engage in reckless behaviour.

I have BPD, and Bi Polar, it’s the worst possible thing because they are kind of similar, but require different treatments, but I agree that there are probably lots of people with BPD on here, they may not even be aware of it

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

"My cup is running a little empty recently but I am always willing to just listen. A bit of shared experience helps allways. X"

Well I guess you might need an ear as well as lending one, that’s kinda what I hoped posting this would achieve ??

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

I write about mental health on my blog I do videos from the river etc doing my cold water stuff called bollox from the river, my blog has posts about mental health issues, self help stuff and the things i do to manage my mental health, DM for a link x

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

I seen a thread on here recently, a guy openly admitted he had a problem, he got ripped to pieces and shamed for it, there’s no need or place for that.

Fab may not be the best place, but it could be the ONLY place for that 1 person.

I can relate wholeheartedly, I've had counselling, I’ve ran a hose from my cars exhaust, I’ve lined up the pills and bottles of booze for an overdose, I’ve sat on the edge of a bridge.

A dedicated thread is a great idea.

If 5 minutes of time can stop someone taking action or help them see a solution, it doesn’t matter where the hell they get it from. "

So sorry to hear things got that bad, and you came so close to making that last step, but I’m glad you didn’t do it…

Anyone who could rip into another human being that’s in pain, isn’t worth your time, my time or anyone else’s time. Stay strong, there’s always someone who will listen.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

I would suspect a lot of people on here have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and use the site as a way to engage in reckless behaviour.

There is a neurodivergent thread, and an autism thread. and a mental health thread. Just put in the forum search and they should come up.

I put it on my profile because it does impact me sexually and socially. And swinging is a sexual and social event.

I have BPD with autistic traits and sensory issues. I'm also an adult and childhood trauma survivor.

A lot of people who don't know I have these conditions/disabilities just think I'm being an arsehole. I'm not. It's just that my brain is wired differently and I have to work around it. I also can't force it because that leads to .....emergency services and a hospital section visit. However Good news is that hasn't happened in 6 years.

Currently I'm classed as in stable recovery. I take meds ( trying to get the GP to reduce) and I attend three MH peer groups a week. I also see a fitness trainer and a women's five a side to help.

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

"OP do you also have professional support?"

Yes - I’ve had lots of therapy, I’m medicated, but I’m currently in a group therapy, and it’s the best I’ve ever had, I’m learning so much, and it’s was kind of why I posted this. Are you getting help ??

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I think Fab can be the best place and the worst place for these discussions and for finding support.

I've stopped talking about it here because I don't have the energy for it, but I hope that it gains traction "

Hugs you only have so many spoons, definitely don't take energy away from important stuff for Fab. I advocate self-care first and for some people (like me from time to time) that means going offline/incommunicado and tossing the devices elsewhere.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

I seen a thread on here recently, a guy openly admitted he had a problem, he got ripped to pieces and shamed for it, there’s no need or place for that.

Fab may not be the best place, but it could be the ONLY place for that 1 person.

I can relate wholeheartedly, I've had counselling, I’ve ran a hose from my cars exhaust, I’ve lined up the pills and bottles of booze for an overdose, I’ve sat on the edge of a bridge.

A dedicated thread is a great idea.

If 5 minutes of time can stop someone taking action or help them see a solution, it doesn’t matter where the hell they get it from. "

I didn't see the thread but a man that I know is struggling was called an incel on Fab.

I really wish we would be more careful as humans to humans. but especially to men. The stats aren't great for male suicide.

Apparently, the Moderators removed the thread but I told him whoever said that was bang out of order.

A lot of people only have online because of various reasons, child care, caring for an adult, physical disability makes it hard to go out or mental condition/neurodivergent brain makes it hard to go out or just working long hours to achieve something.

I've been in all those categories apart from child care.

I actually found a lot of help online ( not necessarily Fab Forum) that wasn't available to me in real life and face to face.

Personally I'll never stop banging on about mental health because I was suicidal from the age of 8 and nobody ever talked about it and this was before the internet. Now I haven't been suicidal in the last 3 years despite the pandemic. Due to the fact, I got help and I work my recovery and relapse prevention program (like an addict does) daily, weekly and monthly and annually.

People maintain their car and home. I maintain my mind first because if that isn't working the way I need it to, I can't do anything else.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I think this is a fab idea (no pun intended.....well maybe a little one)

I'd big up Starfly Lou's thread too, I know it's well established and people get a lot from it.

Lovely thought OP

Exactly this, mental health issues are there, wether people like it or not, and if they don’t, they can simply scroll on by. "

Yup...I'm never going to shut up about mental health, mild, moderate, or severe. It can destroy lives..and it doesn't have to and it's all around us. The number of times I've stopped in the street/train station in London to talk to someone who was clearly having a mental breakdown.

I've been there and I pay it forward to those I can try to help. People/strangers helped me so I can do the same in my community.

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By *skaway! OP Man
over a year ago

South East.

I would suspect a lot of people on here have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and use the site as a way to engage in reckless behaviour.

There is a neurodivergent thread, and an autism thread. and a mental health thread. Just put in the forum search and they should come up.

I put it on my profile because it does impact me sexually and socially. And swinging is a sexual and social event.

I have BPD with autistic traits and sensory issues. I'm also an adult and childhood trauma survivor.

Currently I'm classed as in stable recovery. I take meds ( trying to get the GP to reduce) and I attend three MH peer groups a week. I also see a fitness trainer and a women's five a side to help."

Thank you for the information about threads, that’s really helpful (at least for me !)

I admire your bravery in being so honest regarding what you put on your profile, I’m not sure anyone would ever consider talking to me if I did that - to qualify, I probably don’t look friendly and if you add my mental health into the mix, people will just pass on by

I couldn’t agree more about misconceptions, and thinking your an arsehole - it’s so sad, but it’s true, my issues have cost me dearly, including on here - I was seeing someone that I really liked for awhile, and my mental health came racing up to the surface, and that was that

Our brains are wired differently, and it’s a tough gig right ? I’ve been hospitalised too, and that is probably the biggest fear, your locked away like a criminal and in my experience, often mistreated.

But we have to have faith that not everyone thinks negatively about us, and can help each other ? x

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

Virtual hugs kiddo. I have childhood trauma mainly from my father. I never had children because I was scared to turn out like him. Even now I'm scared that I will turn on him if I have to become his carer. This happened to my neighbour. His father developed combative dementia and he ended up hitting his father. it's a nightmare scenario...

People put down other's for putting people in care homes but sometimes it's absolutely necessary for the carer's mental health and preventing Elder abuse.

As you are quite young compared to me, I can only suggest speaking to your GP about being referred to the Trauma service in your area. My trauma service only deals with recent trauma so between 18 and 41 it's too late for me.

There is help out there and trust me when I was 23, I didn't have a clue what I was doing and I just followed along blindly at university because I didn't see any other viable option. uni helped me a lot. I learned some social skils and the degree helps me get jobs even if I'm awkward in the office. I usually can mask through the basic interview and ones I've done a lot of prep for. I've had the same job at a national supermarket for nearly 9 years because I don't cope well with change and their head office actually makes reasonable adjustments for me...even when my managers are being clueless.

I put it down as a disability and national supermarkets do not want to get sued for disability discrimination.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

I would suspect a lot of people on here have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and use the site as a way to engage in reckless behaviour.

Meh I have no regrets and I have BPD/EUPD....but I'm a maverick...I never tick the box. Lol!

But I'm middle-aged....a lot of the time when you get to middle age and old age you don't give a fuck anymore.

I'm like I'm tired of this shit I'm going to stay home and eat ramen noodles in my pants and no fucking bra..sod the neighbours. My neighbour apparently sleepwalks naked so I dare not look outside at night or early in the morning. I'd never be able to look his wife in the eye again. She gets stressed about it because they run a pub!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

Hurray and Result and Score!!

People with mental health deserve sex and even just intimacy too!!

Mine's gone the other way with low libido which is an entirely disorientating thing for me but I'm slowly re-connect with my body with the hope of connecting with some other bodies.

People have no idea how huge intimacy is for people sexual, romantic, platonic, familial...it is like love. But I can better quantify intimacy. My ND brain doesn't get love very easily.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Ffs someone just messaged me saying “need sucking now” could they not, some creepy people on here"

Just ignore them and put on your message filters until you can navigate the site more comfortably.

I find the men too full on....on all online sites so I block men from messaging me. If I think the man is ok then I will message something relevant to him....not just hi and a fanny pic....lol! Cringe...

Women/Couples and TV/TS can message me freely.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Mental health should be discussed where ever the person feels comfortable talking about it, wether it’s a swinging site, a car forum, with Dave at the local corner shop.

That moment to talk can turn someone from taking action and help them cope with an issue they are experiencing and it doesn’t require a professional to do so.

On a forum, it can be easier to ask or discuss issues, it gets rid of a lot of embarrassment that the person may be feeling by talking face to face, it’s a fantastic idea.

Discuss it openly on a thread or private message some one, whatever you are comfortable with.

There’s no shame in being broken, I’m unashamedly broken and admit it often, never hide it.

Anyone who shames mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, congratulations, you’re a strong person, good for you.

I think Fab is a great place for talking about MH.

I have severe MH problems and find this place helps a lot. It's annonymous which is great.

The weekly thread is a very supportive place.

I want to beat them though. I’ve actually only said the tip of the iceberg of bad stuff, i think to a certain extent I can beat it so long as I have self esteem"

Just my personal opinion based on my 22 years of being in the NHS mental health system....

I do not believe that one can beat trauma of any kind on one's own. Looking at my own trauma as a child and as an adult.

The adult trauma was treated, supported, and validated by trained professionals within a year of the trauma occurrence. My recovery from that trauma was remarkably fast and I suffer less triggers from that.

The childhood trauma was never treated and gives me more problems and triggers and unhelpful/unhealthy thoughts.

Trauma and Personality disorders I believe should have long-term intensive therapy..... For me meds only take the edge off and are not a long-term solution.

I have a long-term wholistic/holistic recovery and relapse prevention programme that keeps me stable daily, weekly and monthly. I have problems but I am able to work around and manage them without completely stopping from functioning and/or ending up in hospital. It is a self designed programme not one prescibed by professionals. It is however based on some assistance from professionals in a limited capacity. I only developed the programme after I had professional input.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I have been aporoached on a couple of occasions when I was struggling.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Fuck it I’ve beaten so much already, from now on I’m gonna be a warrior until i sort things out"

Young Padawan ( yes I'm going all star wars-ey, I'm old)

A wise warrior knows when to hold, fold, negotiate and when to strike.

A wise spiritual woman said that in the olden times people with mental health became the Shaman, the spiritual healer, the priest/the priestess, the Seeker because they were more sensitive to things than the other people in the tribe.

Neurodivergent people see things in a way that other people do not see whether it be mental health conditions or autism or psychosis. That's why so many are creators and problem solvers.

Loki in Vikings built the ships.

Our Tech people have made our lives easier.

Van Gogh mesmerizes with his brush strokes.

I celebrate being a neuro-divergent Maverick!

Everyone else can be a lettuce...I mean a politician/journalist/business man/ business woman.

Everyone has a job. I'm just way better at shipbuilding in the woods away from everyone until it's time to go reaving. I don't like people enough to be a leader and I'm too untamed to be an obedient follower. lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

I would suspect a lot of people on here have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and use the site as a way to engage in reckless behaviour.

There is a neurodivergent thread, and an autism thread. and a mental health thread. Just put in the forum search and they should come up.

I put it on my profile because it does impact me sexually and socially. And swinging is a sexual and social event.

I have BPD with autistic traits and sensory issues. I'm also an adult and childhood trauma survivor.

Currently I'm classed as in stable recovery. I take meds ( trying to get the GP to reduce) and I attend three MH peer groups a week. I also see a fitness trainer and a women's five a side to help.

Thank you for the information about threads, that’s really helpful (at least for me !)

But we have to have faith that not everyone thinks negatively about us, and can help each other ? x

Sorry about the seeing someone and they jumping ship when the tough get going.... I've had that too. I swear it's harder for men.

In some ways I'm lucky I'm a woman, perfectly acceptable for me to be a tomboy from both men and women. But a man with emotions....not only is it avoided, men bend themselves mentally into all kinds of shapes trying to fit this obscure random ( senseless? pointless) type of allegedly perfect man.....

Meanwhile women are like fuck this shit, If I'm a tomboy suck it. If I'm a girlie girl suck it. if I'm straight suck it, if I'm non-gender suck it. iF I have fake boobs or a fake ass or fake hair fuckkity fuck it. fuck all that shit about a perfect woman, wife, mother, friend, housekeeper, cook, cleaner, worker. Fuck this shit while I have periods month, pop out 2.5 8 pounders out of my vagina and spend between age 40-60 in flipping menopause. I'ma do what makes me happy.

I think men need to say fuck it to society/ what a man is supposed to be" more often.

The ones I know who say this are way happier that they don't give a fuck what society says without resorting to violence/abuse. They have problems like everyone but I'm less worried about them unaliving pre-maturely. I can see myself cracking dirty jokes with them in the nursing home. Lol!

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"This is a very accepting platform..."

Have you not been here long?

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

I have been aporoached on a couple of occasions when I was struggling."

who exactly approached you?

I've had to put some boundaries in for myself so I'm "less reckless"

Pre-therapy me would have freaked out about the low libido and jumped on every cock going... post therapy me is like...nah....

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"This is a very accepting platform...

Have you not been here long?"

Lol!

You have to be a little tough. not everyone is accepting but....I just push the starship disengage button when it gets too much...or I get banned for 48 hours.

What kind of maverick would I be if I didn't receive a 48 hour ban?

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By *StepsAheadMan
over a year ago

lancs

One of them days for today, feeling down and lonely

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By *umbiyaMan
over a year ago

Halifax

I can’t say I’m in a position to help, but I’ll add that I’m very messed up myself. BDD, Autism, addiction, and self harm are all things I experience. I have severe depression which has ruined any chance of life being good. Well, me being an ugly autistic freak is the cause to be precise.

Yeah, it isn’t a pretty situation. Avoid me like cancer.

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By *ornyrich666Man
over a year ago

skelmersdale

I suffer myself, and have read through the post here and agree that whilst this may not appear to be the place for it, I have been on and off fab for a hell of a long time, and the people that are on the forums are incredibly supportive, as are many swinger I have met over the years.

If nothing else, just seeing that people that share the same lifestyle are talking about it might be enough for someone that is bottling it all up to start to seek help.

Without divulging details (it’s chemical imbalance), my issues have been with me since I was 15, only gotten worse despite increased medication and therapy, but it took 12 years until I was dragged by my loved ones to the Doctor to get some kind of help. I knew something wasn’t right, but it took the tears of others to make me get help, and if someone reads this thread and sees they are not alone, then it is worth the OP posting.

I am classed as High Functioning, because I hold down a very senior job, have responsibilities and hobbies, have a good life, despite the fact I have what is crippling to many. I am active in trying to manage my mental health, and has enabled me to live a relatively normal life. That wouldn’t be the case if I hadn’t been dragged to get help and admit that things weren’t right, it wouldn’t. I wouldn’t be here now, and whilst every day it gets harder and harder to keep on going, and when things get dark my thoughts turn to escape, others have helped, given support, even if just strangers on a sex site, that can be enough to bring you back from crisis. As much as a million things can destroy a persons mental health, sometimes just that knowledge that there are others that share your hobbies that also struggle can give you that extra ounce of strength to say “no, not today”.

If you struggle, find the protection factors, that one thing that makes you happy and can bring you back. Over time, that may no longer work, so have 2 things, 5 things, 10 things, but all positive, like exercise, reading a book, your favourite film. It doesn’t matter what it is, but if it is positive it will make a difference.

For me, it’s music, and music is the thing that works for many. I have used music for years to help me, and that includes playing it live. Now I also compose, and I specifically write instrumental music that helps me and can be used for meditation, relaxation and better sleep. If people ask, I will share the link on the forum for it. Might not work for you, but it might and might make a major difference in your life. The key is to try things that can have a positive effect. It is hard work, but it is worth the effort.

And again, well done to all here that have spoken up

Much love

Ritchie

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