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Today is International Pronouns Day ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

.. apparently.

What are your preferred pronouns?

Do you always ensure you respect everyone’s pronouns?

Are there any that you struggle to use?

I’ve never had reason to call anyone this, as nobody I know uses this or has asked me to use this, but I think I’d be uncomfortable using some of the more oblique ones like zerself or zemself.

Not because I’m deliberately trying to be a bigot or owt, but because it’s a little alien to the way I’ve addressed people all of my life so far, so it’ll take time to adjust my learning and habits of a lifetime being an old gammony fogey and all that.

Yes, I know. I need to be better!

How do you feel about it all Fabsters?

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Preferred pronouns: Thou and thee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They know who they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit of a weird one for the oldies. Trying to get the ballance of being supportive and empathetic but then comming across a lot of thrown in "foolishness". I'm I'm unsure about how someone might want to be referred to I use "them/they" until I'm told otherwise.

Slight different perspective. As a woman into BDSM I'm forever getting messaged from people referring to me as "mistress" "Goddess" and "Queen". This gives me the ick as I don't identify that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Filter thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Preferred pronouns: Thou and thee."

Ah, ye older Shakespearian approach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm to old to care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll use the defaults by default unless requested or informed otherwise. If if request or informed otherwise, I will try my best to respect that, on the understanding that if I forget I'll apologise, and they'll not make a stink for a genuine mistake. This has served me well enough. And I have a non binary stepson, with whom it's worked thus far. The only time I haven't done this was with a couple that had a newborn child, who requested gender neutral terms for their babe in arms on the basis that "until they decide what they are it's not fair to gender them", which I disagreed with wholeheartedly - although I continued to use "they" which just felt disrespectful and dismissive to a baby.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think mine are pretty obvious, happy to follow people's preferred as its no bother.

However, not really going along with these "neo" pronouns. I think it's getting a little silly.

I now await the inevitable bashing.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford


"Preferred pronouns: Thou and thee.

Ah, ye older Shakespearian approach "

I sometimes think the bloody awful 'You and Yours' on Radio 4 should be renamed 'Thou and Thine'. It must have been going on for at least 400 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't say "zerself or zemself" without thinking I'm appearing in "allo allo"

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted


"I can't say "zerself or zemself" without thinking I'm appearing in "allo allo"

"

"We have ways of making ze talk"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's one thing to volunteer your pronouns in a natural way, something else if you weaponise them or similar to pursue an agenda.

In the most part noone seems to care how we each choose for ourselves but they will care about obnoxious or offensive behaviour no matter the where or the why. So really it's separation of the two that is needed to allow people to simply get on and live as they choose, doing no harm.

I would object to declaring your pronouns being required or demanded, e.g. in a workplace or on socials. This is effectively 'outing' people or forcing them to deny their identity if they are not able or ready to reveal same, and we know how that can be damaging in so many ways.

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Him... Because I was born male

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

I will always use them and would be genuinely upset if getting them wrong offended someone. And I'm very open to conversations around this, I accept its my place to learn and understand and acknowledge. I'm 50, this wasnt even on the radar when I was younger so it's down to me to adapt to the world around me not dismiss it

It's not difficult.

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

Cuntybaws/Bawbag

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 19/10/22 11:13:40]

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

I like the pronoun h, which stands for human

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

International pronouns? I'm still struggling to master English...

(She/her/they/them/wotsit with the hair...)

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By *picknspanMan
over a year ago

North West Leeds

If you need to have a specific pronoun then I am unlikely to be interested in you and me of no interest to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use objective, descriptive pronouns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use the pronouns that match how the person presents their gender until I’m told otherwise. If I’m unsure how they present their gender, I use they/them. I don’t always get it right but apologise and correct myself when I get it wrong.

I have a non-binary friend who now prefers they/them but I’ve spent a long time using she/her for this person. So I occasionally get it wrong. Just apologise and correct. They’re very understanding

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"If you need to have a specific pronoun then I am unlikely to be interested in you and me of no interest to you

"

I count five pronouns in that sentence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you need to have a specific pronoun then I am unlikely to be interested in you and me of no interest to you

"

But everyone uses pronouns? Literally everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always the profesionals they want

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"If you need to have a specific pronoun then I am unlikely to be interested in you and me of no interest to you

But everyone uses pronouns? Literally everyone "

The speaker supposes that other people could refrain from using pronouns, but the speaker also supposes that such an enterprise would be stilted and inconvenient.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv never needed to know what theybare in all these years

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Iv never needed to know what theybare in all these years "

I, you, he/she/it, we, they, and all forms of these. You're welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you need to have a specific pronoun then I am unlikely to be interested in you and me of no interest to you

But everyone uses pronouns? Literally everyone

The speaker supposes that other people could refrain from using pronouns, but the speaker also supposes that such an enterprise would be stilted and inconvenient."

Classic case of people thinking that trans/non binary people just suddenly invented pronouns and that they’re not something that we actually all use every day anyway

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"If you need to have a specific pronoun then I am unlikely to be interested in you and me of no interest to you

But everyone uses pronouns? Literally everyone

The speaker supposes that other people could refrain from using pronouns, but the speaker also supposes that such an enterprise would be stilted and inconvenient.

Classic case of people thinking that trans/non binary people just suddenly invented pronouns and that they’re not something that we actually all use every day anyway"

Indeed. I'll keep my pronouns, they make communication a lot easier. And have done before people started pearl clutching

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Youse or yous or use..... which are often utilised in messages here.

I didn't want to say 'used' in case the 'users' of "use" got confused.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Iv never needed to know what theybare in all these years

I, you, he/she/it, we, they, and all forms of these. You're welcome."

you accomplished what 43 years of living have not i thank you you should be a teacher that seems dead easy thing to know

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Youse or yous or use..... which are often utilised in messages here.

I didn't want to say 'used' in case the 'users' of "use" got confused. "

I remember when I learned German at school, suggesting that ihr (you plural) was the equivalent of youse (I'm Australian).

I got a pretty filthy look - but also my teacher agreed

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Surprised FAB hasnt changed this yet

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

I normally insist on sexycumlord or hotspunktanker when people message me - in person it’s Jizzlord or walkingcumcannon

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

People just shouldn't use pronouns! Let's also ban nouns (evil things!), verbs, adverbs, jectives, adjectives. And those prepositions, positions, postpositions, conjunctions, junctions, inflections and contractions can just fuck right off. I'm going to just use proper English grammar like they taught me at school.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So them titties is PC instead of saying she's got a nice rack

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"Preferred pronouns: Thou and thee.

Ah, ye older Shakespearian approach "

Thou knoweth whom thou art

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"People just shouldn't use pronouns! Let's also ban nouns (evil things!), verbs, adverbs, jectives, adjectives. And those prepositions, positions, postpositions, conjunctions, junctions, inflections and contractions can just fuck right off. I'm going to just use proper English grammar like they taught me at school. "

They banned words like "noun" when I was in primary school for being elitist

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford


"People just shouldn't use pronouns! Let's also ban nouns (evil things!), verbs, adverbs, jectives, adjectives. And those prepositions, positions, postpositions, conjunctions, junctions, inflections and contractions can just fuck right off. I'm going to just use proper English grammar like they taught me at school.

They banned words like "noun" when I was in primary school for being elitist "

Now it's the other way round, and 8 year olds are expected to recognise and use fronted adverbials, among other grammatical curios.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

He, she, it - I've had all of those today already. Oh, and Sir I answer to them all

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

I wouldn't want to deliberately cause any offence by deliberately misusing them. But my language has done me well so far. Communications need to be as simple as possible.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

Why would I care what pronouns other people refer to me by?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"He, she, it - I've had all of those today already. Oh, and Sir I answer to them all "
you can call me Duke or your honour

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I go with whatever the person I'm talking to prefers. It's no skin off my nose

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Cap will do for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would bother me if someone called me 'her' when I'm a 'him'

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do. "

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted


"It would bother me if someone called me 'her' when I'm a 'him'"

Why would anyone do that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this"

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this"

This is so wrong

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world. "

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate? "

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"It would bother me if someone called me 'her' when I'm a 'him'

Why would anyone do that? "

They wouldn't, one of the many perks of being a binary gender is that you won't have people misgendering you with your chosen pronouns.

And it is really, really easy to do that. Yet so many don't want to display the same courtesy and respect to non-binary people

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

[Removed by poster at 19/10/22 13:51:05]

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple. "

The child is 10, she doesn't know what gender is or what it actually means. Shes hearing stuff now that she wouldnt havr heard 20 years ago and its leading to her saying what she's saying.

As a parent, i would suggest she should be sheltered from such exposures as much as possible until she is mature enough to understand it and plough her own furrow. Until then, she needs to be guided to be and do what young girls are supposed to be and do

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"It would bother me if someone called me 'her' when I'm a 'him'

Why would anyone do that? "

°

Because he's "Gertrude" on the weekends.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate? "

Arguably if they have asked to be referrered to as he/him it is up for debate...

And just telling the school to ignore it, telling a child they are wrong, what does that actually achieve?

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple.

The child is 10, she doesn't know what gender is or what it actually means. Shes hearing stuff now that she wouldnt havr heard 20 years ago and its leading to her saying what she's saying.

As a parent, i would suggest she should be sheltered from such exposures as much as possible until she is mature enough to understand it and plough her own furrow. Until then, she needs to be guided to be and do what young girls are supposed to be and do"

What are young girls supposed to be abd do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple.

The child is 10, she doesn't know what gender is or what it actually means. Shes hearing stuff now that she wouldnt havr heard 20 years ago and its leading to her saying what she's saying.

As a parent, i would suggest she should be sheltered from such exposures as much as possible until she is mature enough to understand it and plough her own furrow. Until then, she needs to be guided to be and do what young girls are supposed to be and do"

Young girls aren’t supposed to do or be anything other than what they want to do or be. That’s your binary thinking. The child’s age is really quite irrelevant. I, and many other bi, gay, trans and non binary people, knew what I was long before 10. We may not have had the language to express it but we knew. In fact, I had even already kissed girls by that age.

This child is just lucky enough to be in a position to have the language to express what they’re feeling.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple.

The child is 10, she doesn't know what gender is or what it actually means. Shes hearing stuff now that she wouldnt havr heard 20 years ago and its leading to her saying what she's saying.

As a parent, i would suggest she should be sheltered from such exposures as much as possible until she is mature enough to understand it and plough her own furrow. Until then, she needs to be guided to be and do what young girls are supposed to be and do

What are young girls supposed to be abd do? "

I give up. I cant deal with this madness

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple.

The child is 10, she doesn't know what gender is or what it actually means. Shes hearing stuff now that she wouldnt havr heard 20 years ago and its leading to her saying what she's saying.

As a parent, i would suggest she should be sheltered from such exposures as much as possible until she is mature enough to understand it and plough her own furrow. Until then, she needs to be guided to be and do what young girls are supposed to be and do

What are young girls supposed to be abd do?

I give up. I cant deal with this madness"

What madness? They're your words and I'm not sure what you meant, can you not expand on them for clarification?

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By *dy-ukTV/TS
over a year ago

Alcester

[Removed by poster at 19/10/22 14:00:59]

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple.

The child is 10, she doesn't know what gender is or what it actually means. Shes hearing stuff now that she wouldnt havr heard 20 years ago and its leading to her saying what she's saying.

As a parent, i would suggest she should be sheltered from such exposures as much as possible until she is mature enough to understand it and plough her own furrow. Until then, she needs to be guided to be and do what young girls are supposed to be and do"

What kind of a parent tells one of their children how they feel?

I'll be honest within our larger family this issue has been raised by two of the youngsters and for old gits of my generation some of it is new and not fully au fair with it yet if I'm honest..

But to tell them to not be who they think they are at a time when they are growing up and uncertainties are everywhere at their age is shockingly wrong..

If the issues are something you struggle with then perhaps equip yourself with the knowledge to support them perhaps and to not just say no you are not who you think you are..

That's a recipe for disaster..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *dy-ukTV/TS
over a year ago

Alcester

Do Pro-nouns charge?

I don't find any it offensive or bother about.

Just words at the end of the day and all harmless.

Think a lot started years ago, films like police academy, you'd see mouser walk into a room of male recruits and call them ladies.

You still see that today in work places and some groups, a colleague will pass a group of 'guys' and say 'hello ladies'

Yes it's banter and nothing more made of it, however I do personally hate that humour as it is derogatory to females.

Another thing, I was brought up to learn 'guys' and 'lads' were a group males.

It seems that male and female genders are collectively called 'guys' or 'lads'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple.

The child is 10, she doesn't know what gender is or what it actually means. Shes hearing stuff now that she wouldnt havr heard 20 years ago and its leading to her saying what she's saying.

As a parent, i would suggest she should be sheltered from such exposures as much as possible until she is mature enough to understand it and plough her own furrow. Until then, she needs to be guided to be and do what young girls are supposed to be and do

What kind of a parent tells one of their children how they feel?

I'll be honest within our larger family this issue has been raised by two of the youngsters and for old gits of my generation some of it is new and not fully au fair with it yet if I'm honest..

But to tell them to not be who they think they are at a time when they are growing up and uncertainties are everywhere at their age is shockingly wrong..

If the issues are something you struggle with then perhaps equip yourself with the knowledge to support them perhaps and to not just say no you are not who you think you are..

That's a recipe for disaster.."

His comment was actually quite scary tbh. If the child wanted to dress up as a superhero or a princess, I’m sure there would be no issue there.

Children should just be allowed to be. Let grow and explore and they’ll figure it all out on their own. And be whoever they’re meant to be. Whether parents or others like it or not

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple. "

I agree with you 100%. My parents, especially my father were very restrictive in so many things. It is because of that that I don’t want to be restrictive and allow her to explore.

She is the sweetest little girl and I don’t want to lose that from her. Or her wanting to share things with me and telling me things. I am still struggling with this, not going to lie, but will see how it all unfolds.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care what people call me. I use she/ he unless told otherwise. If someone gets aggressively pissed off at me for using the wrong term then oh well. If they're not wearing a pronoun badge I'm not a fucking mind reader!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple.

I agree with you 100%. My parents, especially my father were very restrictive in so many things. It is because of that that I don’t want to be restrictive and allow her to explore.

She is the sweetest little girl and I don’t want to lose that from her. Or her wanting to share things with me and telling me things. I am still struggling with this, not going to lie, but will see how it all unfolds. "

You’re doing the right thing. And it is absolutely fair to struggle. My daughter is still a toddler and I’ve always said if she came to me and said mum I’m trans, I’d find that very difficult because I’d feel like I’m losing my little girl. But she’s still my child and I’d support her anyway. As I’m sure you would, yours. But you’ve created a beautiful space where she feels safe and loved enough to come to you. And she’s about to enter such a confusing age as well. You’ve got this

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local


"Cuntybaws/Bawbag "

Beautiful culture. Beautiful language.

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus


"Cuntybaws/Bawbag

Beautiful culture. Beautiful language. "

I’ve answered to worse

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By *ixedDevilMan
over a year ago

Bootyville

King/lord

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple.

I agree with you 100%. My parents, especially my father were very restrictive in so many things. It is because of that that I don’t want to be restrictive and allow her to explore.

She is the sweetest little girl and I don’t want to lose that from her. Or her wanting to share things with me and telling me things. I am still struggling with this, not going to lie, but will see how it all unfolds. "

Your children are lucky to have such an understanding and supportive mother

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"He, she, it - I've had all of those today already. Oh, and Sir I answer to them all you can call me Duke or your honour "

Alright, Sir

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is mostly for the youngsters isnt it. I'm happy that they feel able to flex their identity and rebel from the 'norms'. We did it with school ties in our day, the rebelling, tiny kipper ties instead of the standard long tie arrangement (admittedly I wasn't much of a rebel) I would call a person anything they liked if I knew what they preferred no bother at all. My teengage daugters have friends who are 'they's' and occasionally my eldest now says I have a son not a daughter. I say fine Son, you still need to clean your room and eat all your peas etc etc.

I'm just Mum..

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I would suggest being clear with your daughter that she is a female and that he/him is for boys. And i would also be checking with the school to ensure they intervene whenever such mixed messaging amongst the kids in there are overheard. Also to ensure that the school itself isn't driving this

Why would you do that? This is an awful idea? Just be patient with your child. They will come to their own understanding in their own time. It’s very normal for children to explore, but don’t force your child to be something they are not. At the end of the day, your daughter will be who they feel they are with or without your support and blessing. But your support and blessing will make it much easier to navigate a cruel and intolerant world.

Shes a 10 year old girl. Can we not just agree on that? Or is that now up for debate?

But at this present time, this child is exploring their gender. It could all turn out to be nothing or it could actually be that the child is non binary or trans and how are they going to feel when they look back on their childhood and realise their parents tried to force them to be something they are not?

Children are not possessions. They are beings with their own thoughts, feelings and needs and they should be free to express that in way that makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved. It’s that simple.

The child is 10, she doesn't know what gender is or what it actually means. Shes hearing stuff now that she wouldnt havr heard 20 years ago and its leading to her saying what she's saying.

As a parent, i would suggest she should be sheltered from such exposures as much as possible until she is mature enough to understand it and plough her own furrow. Until then, she needs to be guided to be and do what young girls are supposed to be and do

Young girls aren’t supposed to do or be anything other than what they want to do or be. That’s your binary thinking. The child’s age is really quite irrelevant. I, and many other bi, gay, trans and non binary people, knew what I was long before 10. We may not have had the language to express it but we knew. In fact, I had even already kissed girls by that age.

This child is just lucky enough to be in a position to have the language to express what they’re feeling. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son identified as Spiderman but I didn't let him scale tall buildings.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

So much wisdom, gentleness, love, and empathy on this thread!

It reminds me that the trans 'debate' is, in reality, a few thousand obsessives on Twitter, and a few hundred weird columnists in the media.

Most people might not know all the right terminology, etc - I'm sure I don't! - but have an instinctive desire to live and let live.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't care what people call me. I use she/ he unless told otherwise. If someone gets aggressively pissed off at me for using the wrong term then oh well. If they're not wearing a pronoun badge I'm not a fucking mind reader! "

Haha good response,

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do. "

I have very limited knowledge of this area but I'm surprised if age 10 she has enough knowledge... Have you any ideas why she's made that statement and what she believes it might mean?

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I have very limited knowledge of this area but I'm surprised if age 10 she has enough knowledge... Have you any ideas why she's made that statement and what she believes it might mean? "

Well that is the question isn't it. Everyone else in this thread wants the mother to treat her like a fully grown adult and let her off the lead, so to say. Does anybody want to do any parenting anymore?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm to old to care"

Couldn’t agree more there was only men and women when I grew up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't care what people call me. I use she/ he unless told otherwise. If someone gets aggressively pissed off at me for using the wrong term then oh well. If they're not wearing a pronoun badge I'm not a fucking mind reader!

Haha good response, "

Very well said

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"I'm to old to care

Couldn’t agree more there was only men and women when I grew up "

I blame the hormones in the meat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't care what people call me. I use she/ he unless told otherwise. If someone gets aggressively pissed off at me for using the wrong term then oh well. If they're not wearing a pronoun badge I'm not a fucking mind reader!

Haha good response,

Very well said "

If they say they prefer xyz then I use xyz.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I have very limited knowledge of this area but I'm surprised if age 10 she has enough knowledge... Have you any ideas why she's made that statement and what she believes it might mean?

Well that is the question isn't it. Everyone else in this thread wants the mother to treat her like a fully grown adult and let her off the lead, so to say. Does anybody want to do any parenting anymore? "

I'm pretty sure no one has said treat her like an adult

People have however questioned the sense in you wanting to tell her she is wrong, thst she needs to be a girl and only do the things girls do while making sure she can't explore her own thoughts is possibly not the best idea.

But that's not the sane as treating her as an adult

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"He, she, it - I've had all of those today already. Oh, and Sir I answer to them all you can call me Duke or your honour

Alright, Sir "

lol x

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I have very limited knowledge of this area but I'm surprised if age 10 she has enough knowledge... Have you any ideas why she's made that statement and what she believes it might mean?

Well that is the question isn't it. Everyone else in this thread wants the mother to treat her like a fully grown adult and let her off the lead, so to say. Does anybody want to do any parenting anymore?

I'm pretty sure no one has said treat her like an adult

People have however questioned the sense in you wanting to tell her she is wrong, thst she needs to be a girl and only do the things girls do while making sure she can't explore her own thoughts is possibly not the best idea.

But that's not the sane as treating her as an adult "

I dont agree. The overwhelming impression im getting from this thread is a laissez faire attitude, which i dont agree with. Boys should be boys and girls should be girls. Yes there are feminine boys and masculine girls, but thats a whole lot different from a 10 year old girl wanting to use he/him pronouns. Thats learned and environmental, and i believe detrimental

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I have very limited knowledge of this area but I'm surprised if age 10 she has enough knowledge... Have you any ideas why she's made that statement and what she believes it might mean?

Well that is the question isn't it. Everyone else in this thread wants the mother to treat her like a fully grown adult and let her off the lead, so to say. Does anybody want to do any parenting anymore? "

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I don't like labels.

I insist that you call me this label instead,

As I don't like to be labelled.

But make sure you don't get my label wrong.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

When is adverb day...I'm eagerly awaiting it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call me old fashioned but there's on Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr (maybe other legit ones I can't think of)

I can't believe what the world is coming to. In 50 years time we'll be either

A) fucked if this continues

B) laughed at (I hope its the latter)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Call me old fashioned but there's on Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr (maybe other legit ones I can't think of)

I can't believe what the world is coming to. In 50 years time we'll be either

A) fucked if this continues

B) laughed at (I hope its the latter)"

Adding they/ them/ Mx to a person's vocabulary will bring destruction to the entire planet.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

I will refer to a person as they wish but I know there are only men and women...

Words are cheap and happy to comfort people's feelings.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Call me old fashioned but there's on Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr (maybe other legit ones I can't think of)

I can't believe what the world is coming to. In 50 years time we'll be either

A) fucked if this continues

B) laughed at (I hope its the latter)

Adding they/ them/ Mx to a person's vocabulary will bring destruction to the entire planet. "

If they/them aren't in one's lexicon at the moment, presumably they (oops) really struggle to verbalise their () ideas?

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"Call me old fashioned but there's on Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr (maybe other legit ones I can't think of)

I can't believe what the world is coming to. In 50 years time we'll be either

A) fucked if this continues

B) laughed at (I hope its the latter)"

The examples you list are titles not pronouns.

Why will we "be fucked if thos continues?"

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By *il sub princessWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

If you've been confused of who you are at any point in your life, don't be surprised if I'm confused to who you are too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Call me old fashioned but there's on Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr (maybe other legit ones I can't think of)

I can't believe what the world is coming to. In 50 years time we'll be either

A) fucked if this continues

B) laughed at (I hope its the latter)

Adding they/ them/ Mx to a person's vocabulary will bring destruction to the entire planet.

If they/them aren't in one's lexicon at the moment, presumably they (oops) really struggle to verbalise their () ideas?"

They will never use pronouns. Never.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't like labels.

I insist that you call me this label instead,

As I don't like to be labelled.

But make sure you don't get my label wrong. "

What about Mr label?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

We think some people have got titles and pronouns mixed up

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female"

Read that statement back to yourselves. A female child, who identifies as female, wants to be adressed as him/he. Why? She doesn't identify as male, or non female. It sounds very much like a child jumping on a bandwagon. Has she requested her friends and family do the same?

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London


"We think some people have got titles and pronouns mixed up "

WE DEMAND YOU DON'T MEDDLE WITH OUR PRONOUNS!

WE DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT A PRONOUN IS!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Call me old fashioned but there's on Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr (maybe other legit ones I can't think of)

I can't believe what the world is coming to. In 50 years time we'll be either

A) fucked if this continues

B) laughed at (I hope its the latter)"

If the world is that fragile, then it deserves to be obliterated. Bye.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What will happen to me if I don't want to call someone they/them, will I go to prison?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"What will happen to me if I don't want to call someone they/them, will I go to prison? "

Yes.

Next question please!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"What will happen to me if I don't want to call someone they/them, will I go to prison?

Yes.

Next question please!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What will happen to me if I don't want to call someone they/them, will I go to prison?

Yes.

Next question please!"

OK, if I identify as a women will I go to a women's prison?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"What will happen to me if I don't want to call someone they/them, will I go to prison?

Yes.

Next question please!

OK, if I identify as a women will I go to a women's prison? "

Maybe. It depends if it's a Tuesday or not.

Next question please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What will happen to me if I don't want to call someone they/them, will I go to prison?

Yes.

Next question please!

OK, if I identify as a women will I go to a women's prison?

Maybe. It depends if it's a Tuesday or not.

Next question please!"

That's a fair point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What will happen to me if I don't want to call someone they/them, will I go to prison?

Yes.

Next question please!

OK, if I identify as a women will I go to a women's prison?

Maybe. It depends if it's a Tuesday or not.

Next question please!"

That's easy to get out of ! Just identify Tuesday as Sunday.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"What will happen to me if I don't want to call someone they/them, will I go to prison?

Yes.

Next question please!

OK, if I identify as a women will I go to a women's prison?

Maybe. It depends if it's a Tuesday or not.

Next question please!

That's easy to get out of ! Just identify Tuesday as Sunday. "

Now that's just silly

I think we should all just calm down and it will all be okay.....

^^^Spot the pronouns

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"What will happen to me if I don't want to call someone they/them, will I go to prison?

Yes.

Next question please!

OK, if I identify as a women will I go to a women's prison? "

°

When it's Solitary Confinement you can identify it as you see fit.

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted

Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist. "

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What will happen to me if I don't want to call someone they/them, will I go to prison?

Yes.

Next question please!

OK, if I identify as a women will I go to a women's prison? "

Good question

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist. "

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be"

Many languages lack gendered pronouns. Chinese, Hungarian, Finnish, Estonian and Japanese, among others.

Our Chinese students struggle with the use of he/him/her/she etc. I'm often referred to as him or sir, but it's not because they think I'm a man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

Many languages lack gendered pronouns. Chinese, Hungarian, Finnish, Estonian and Japanese, among others.

Our Chinese students struggle with the use of he/him/her/she etc. I'm often referred to as him or sir, but it's not because they think I'm a man. "

You learn something new every day. Very interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who and what

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

Many languages lack gendered pronouns. Chinese, Hungarian, Finnish, Estonian and Japanese, among others.

Our Chinese students struggle with the use of he/him/her/she etc. I'm often referred to as him or sir, but it's not because they think I'm a man. "

Interesting on the other languages and that common. Just to be clear though Japanese does gendered pronouns and titles/suffixes for him/her but just used a lot less than English. Similar in Chinese where him/her are different - in fact they/them is gender neutral spoken but gender specific written to make it more complicated. But yes much less gender issues than English. When we write a letter why do we even need Mr, Mrs, Miss etc?

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be"

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now"

No the language gymnastics has been created by society. As I say much less of an issue in other countries with other languages.

As an aside like this chat - cannot survive on tits and cocks alone

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs."

^^^ This entirely!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now"

Every day is a school day

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

Until someone invents a time machine that meant I didn't suffer specifically because of my sex, I won't be stating my pronouns - it's obvious what they are.

That said, I don't disrespect other people's. Who refers to people directly in third person, anyway?

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now"

Meant to say as well that it is sex that is created by biology. Gender is different.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!"

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

Every day is a school day "

If by school, you mean a load of made up fairytale nonsense.

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

Meant to say as well that it is sex that is created by biology. Gender is different. "

Whats the difference?

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"My daughter (she is 10) has requested the school to address her as he/him.

She, however, still identifies herself as female.

I feel weird. I had the meeting at school today and I am still very confused. My oldest is bisexual and defines himself as non-binary- from a very young age I could see that and he is a fantastic young man. He still wants the pronouns he/him.

My daughter, it is a complete shock. I don’t know what to think or do.

I have very limited knowledge of this area but I'm surprised if age 10 she has enough knowledge... Have you any ideas why she's made that statement and what she believes it might mean?

Well that is the question isn't it. Everyone else in this thread wants the mother to treat her like a fully grown adult and let her off the lead, so to say. Does anybody want to do any parenting anymore?

I'm pretty sure no one has said treat her like an adult

People have however questioned the sense in you wanting to tell her she is wrong, thst she needs to be a girl and only do the things girls do while making sure she can't explore her own thoughts is possibly not the best idea.

But that's not the sane as treating her as an adult "

It's very interesting and in that personal situation I'm sure a very challenging situation. We seem to be discussing this like it's choosing what pair of shoes to wear though and deferring processing to "the experts". Parents need to parent the way that works best for their family circumstances. Including boundary setting and right and wrong. Personally I'd say that includes sexual and gender behaviours in the same way it includes all other personal choices. I'm thankful my kids are old enough to have avoided these pressures.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

Meant to say as well that it is sex that is created by biology. Gender is different.

Whats the difference? "

Sex is the biological definition

Gender is the social construct

And thus, therein lies all the difficulties due to the overlap.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed "

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

Every day is a school day

If by school, you mean a load of made up fairytale nonsense."

Are you dismissing all genders as 'made up fairytale nonsense'? Or just the ones you don't agree with?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

Every day is a school day

If by school, you mean a load of made up fairytale nonsense."

Yes, this whining about how gender is the same as sex and fixed is fairy tale nonsense created by reactionaries with ulterior motives.

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

Meant to say as well that it is sex that is created by biology. Gender is different.

Whats the difference?

Sex is the biological definition

Gender is the social construct

And thus, therein lies all the difficulties due to the overlap."

That hasnt really explained anything further, but merely repeated what the other person said.

Gender and sex are the same thing, determined by biology only.

I have no problem calling someone whatever they want of they ask for it, but im drawing the line at exposing kids to such confusion. I have nothing else to add really

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

Every day is a school day

If by school, you mean a load of made up fairytale nonsense.

Yes, this whining about how gender is the same as sex and fixed is fairy tale nonsense created by reactionaries with ulterior motives. "

It is yeah, that's it.

Nevermind god knows how long of humanity existing that way. It was all driven by ulterior motives all along. How could i not have known

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense."

Quite.

It's no different to you deciding to be called by your middle name, or me going by Swing rather than the name on my birth certificate.

If Germans can refer to all dogs as he and all cats as she, because dogs are grammatically male and cats grammatically female, then we'll probably manage treating people as they want to be treated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now"

Yes. Sex is determined by biology. Gender is a made up construct. Much much research has been done on this, if you cared to pick up a book and read.

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted


"

Meant to say as well that it is sex that is created by biology. Gender is different.

Whats the difference? "

Google is your friend for proper explanation "gender vs sex". Have a read with an open mind.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

Every day is a school day

If by school, you mean a load of made up fairytale nonsense.

Yes, this whining about how gender is the same as sex and fixed is fairy tale nonsense created by reactionaries with ulterior motives.

It is yeah, that's it.

Nevermind god knows how long of humanity existing that way. It was all driven by ulterior motives all along. How could i not have known "

Like the various cultures which have had numerous genders for centuries? The ancient Greek myth that we're all descended from separated four legged beings and finding love is being reunited with our other half?

Why can't we accept the ancient Greek truth that individuals only have half a gender? Society is being destroyed

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

Quite.

It's no different to you deciding to be called by your middle name, or me going by Swing rather than the name on my birth certificate.

If Germans can refer to all dogs as he and all cats as she, because dogs are grammatically male and cats grammatically female, then we'll probably manage treating people as they want to be treated "

Add to that many Brits referring to their cars as "she" ... being facetious here

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

Quite.

It's no different to you deciding to be called by your middle name, or me going by Swing rather than the name on my birth certificate.

If Germans can refer to all dogs as he and all cats as she, because dogs are grammatically male and cats grammatically female, then we'll probably manage treating people as they want to be treated Add to that many Brits referring to their cars as "she" ... being facetious here "

Das Auto. Neutral

Brits are destroying the universal order. How dare they. Next iPhones will be marrying ferries and we'll be governed by Pokémon

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

Quite.

It's no different to you deciding to be called by your middle name, or me going by Swing rather than the name on my birth certificate.

If Germans can refer to all dogs as he and all cats as she, because dogs are grammatically male and cats grammatically female, then we'll probably manage treating people as they want to be treated "

How is a pronoun no different to your name or nickname?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

Quite.

It's no different to you deciding to be called by your middle name, or me going by Swing rather than the name on my birth certificate.

If Germans can refer to all dogs as he and all cats as she, because dogs are grammatically male and cats grammatically female, then we'll probably manage treating people as they want to be treated

How is a pronoun no different to your name or nickname? "

It's a construct. A name is a construct.

As seen in languages that have genders for everything, like German.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense."

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she? "

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )"

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )"

A very blasé attitude to raising a child. Let them work it out.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

You are all shits or shites to me ......

Sh for she , it for its, and e for the masculine......

There.... sorted for all the shites

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please"

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

A very blasé attitude to raising a child. Let them work it out."

I didn't say without guidance or support, did I?

If you think trying to force a child to be other than they think they are would go well for them or the parent... I don't know what to tell you

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please"

If you have ever worked with the despair of a child or adolescent who was born male and felt female (and reverse of course) you would probably rethink this statement.

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?"

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please"

Is it your banana that makes you feel so manly?

Apparently you can get female bananas too. They're the ones with the fruit.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please"

Why do you keep using such aggressive terms as nonsense? Fairy Tales?

You've already shown a limited knowledge on a subject you seem quock to dismiss abd belittle.

Could you maybe not try to get a better understanding?

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

If you have ever worked with the despair of a child or adolescent who was born male and felt female (and reverse of course) you would probably rethink this statement."

Once again, we're talking about a 10 year old here. 10 year olds go through many phases, as a parent it is your job not to indulge all of these. When the child hits a certain age of maturity, then let them plough their own furrow. Until then, absolutely not

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

Meant to say as well that it is sex that is created by biology. Gender is different.

Whats the difference?

Sex is the biological definition

Gender is the social construct

And thus, therein lies all the difficulties due to the overlap.

That hasnt really explained anything further, but merely repeated what the other person said.

Gender and sex are the same thing, determined by biology only.

I have no problem calling someone whatever they want of they ask for it, but im drawing the line at exposing kids to such confusion. I have nothing else to add really"

This is a real problem people are facing today, the play on words. The idea is to try and move the goalposts of what we know in a rational way but it is proving to blur the lines when it is hijacked by groups for their own benefits, or by those that go out their way to support a minority view no matter the consequence.

Take "gender is a social construct" as an example, it is the same as colour or weights being a social construct.

For people to be able to communicate we need to construct and define, colour is a great example of this.

We know what red is, we know what blue is because we are all taught this, if we didn't do this we would not be able have a common stop light, warnings and so on.

Blur those lines and it all of a sudden becomes uncertain, is that sign warning me, it appears to have no defined colour but I recognise the sign.

Do the whole of society need to adopt a new way of defining gender for the relatively few that don't recognise the established social construct of gender today?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide. "

Bit earlier you said let boys be boys abd girls be girls?

This seems at odds with that gender-nornative stance?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide. "

Ok. I think children should be able to decide all aspects of who they are and learn to live true to themselves.

My experience tells me that trying to stifle young adults tends to result in frayed relationships.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

Meant to say as well that it is sex that is created by biology. Gender is different.

Whats the difference?

Sex is the biological definition

Gender is the social construct

And thus, therein lies all the difficulties due to the overlap.

That hasnt really explained anything further, but merely repeated what the other person said.

Gender and sex are the same thing, determined by biology only.

I have no problem calling someone whatever they want of they ask for it, but im drawing the line at exposing kids to such confusion. I have nothing else to add really

This is a real problem people are facing today, the play on words. The idea is to try and move the goalposts of what we know in a rational way but it is proving to blur the lines when it is hijacked by groups for their own benefits, or by those that go out their way to support a minority view no matter the consequence.

Take "gender is a social construct" as an example, it is the same as colour or weights being a social construct.

For people to be able to communicate we need to construct and define, colour is a great example of this.

We know what red is, we know what blue is because we are all taught this, if we didn't do this we would not be able have a common stop light, warnings and so on.

Blur those lines and it all of a sudden becomes uncertain, is that sign warning me, it appears to have no defined colour but I recognise the sign.

Do the whole of society need to adopt a new way of defining gender for the relatively few that don't recognise the established social construct of gender today? "

Not all cultures see colour in the same way. Depends on who taught them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Do the whole of society need to adopt a new way of defining gender for the relatively few that don't recognise the established social construct of gender today? "

Nope.

Thank god this is going to be over soon.

Any chiropractors here? You'll make a killing from all the desperate posturing.

Bad form all over.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

A very blasé attitude to raising a child. Let them work it out."

There is a very large difference between raising a child with love and support while they figure it out and trying to force them to be something they are not. Once again I point out that I, and almost every other LGBTQ+ person, knew what we were long before 10.

Children have wild imaginations and we don’t stunt them because they’re not *actually* princesses or superheroes, so what’s the difference here? There is none. Children do not belong to you. You don’t own them. They are human beings with their own thoughts and feelings. Just let the kids figure it out and be there to guide and support.

Most parents will know if their child means what they’re saying or are following a crowd anyway.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

If you have ever worked with the despair of a child or adolescent who was born male and felt female (and reverse of course) you would probably rethink this statement.

Once again, we're talking about a 10 year old here. 10 year olds go through many phases, as a parent it is your job not to indulge all of these. When the child hits a certain age of maturity, then let them plough their own furrow. Until then, absolutely not"

I think parents are more flexible and empathetic than that, these days. Thank God.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide.

Bit earlier you said let boys be boys abd girls be girls?

This seems at odds with that gender-nornative stance?"

No it doesn't. There have always been masculine girls and feminine boys. They are aspects of personality, not a flashing light to get on to the Tavistock asap.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma


"

Do the whole of society need to adopt a new way of defining gender for the relatively few that don't recognise the established social construct of gender today?

Nope.

Thank god this is going to be over soon.

Any chiropractors here? You'll make a killing from all the desperate posturing.

Bad form all over."

It seems you are the one posturing...

You took the last part of my post to prove your point, why not reply to the whole post and keep it in context?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide.

Ok. I think children should be able to decide all aspects of who they are and learn to live true to themselves.

My experience tells me that trying to stifle young adults tends to result in frayed relationships."

We're not talking about young adults though are we. This discussion began over a 10 year old

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide.

Bit earlier you said let boys be boys abd girls be girls?

This seems at odds with that gender-nornative stance?

No it doesn't. There have always been masculine girls and feminine boys. They are aspects of personality, not a flashing light to get on to the Tavistock asap."

So when you said we need to let boys be boys and girls be girls what did you mean given you seem happy for thrm to not conform to gender norms with colours and toys?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

A very blasé attitude to raising a child. Let them work it out.

There is a very large difference between raising a child with love and support while they figure it out and trying to force them to be something they are not. Once again I point out that I, and almost every other LGBTQ+ person, knew what we were long before 10.

Children have wild imaginations and we don’t stunt them because they’re not *actually* princesses or superheroes, so what’s the difference here? There is none. Children do not belong to you. You don’t own them. They are human beings with their own thoughts and feelings. Just let the kids figure it out and be there to guide and support.

Most parents will know if their child means what they’re saying or are following a crowd anyway. "

So you say lgbtq+ is linked with a pronoun? So slightly more significant than choosing a name to be called?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide.

Ok. I think children should be able to decide all aspects of who they are and learn to live true to themselves.

My experience tells me that trying to stifle young adults tends to result in frayed relationships.

We're not talking about young adults though are we. This discussion began over a 10 year old"

Tbh the mum has already stated she won’t be restricting her child in the way you suggested so at this point I don’t know why you’re fighting so hard. The 10 year old in question will be fine because they have a loving and empathetic parent to help them through it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide.

Ok. I think children should be able to decide all aspects of who they are and learn to live true to themselves.

My experience tells me that trying to stifle young adults tends to result in frayed relationships.

We're not talking about young adults though are we. This discussion began over a 10 year old"

Someone who is probably entering the next phase of their life (I'm not sure I can use that word here) and is thus beginning to ask questions that will lead into the way they develop into an adult.

It's all a spectrum of development. Not an on/off switch.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide.

Ok. I think children should be able to decide all aspects of who they are and learn to live true to themselves.

My experience tells me that trying to stifle young adults tends to result in frayed relationships.

We're not talking about young adults though are we. This discussion began over a 10 year old

Tbh the mum has already stated she won’t be restricting her child in the way you suggested so at this point I don’t know why you’re fighting so hard. The 10 year old in question will be fine because they have a loving and empathetic parent to help them through it. "

Absolutely agree

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

I didn’t even know this. I knew some language were more gendered but I didn’t know about gender neutral so thank you for this. Gender is a social construct anyway. Be whatever you wanna be

So gender was created by society then? Not by biology?

Ive heard it all now

Meant to say as well that it is sex that is created by biology. Gender is different.

Whats the difference?

Sex is the biological definition

Gender is the social construct

And thus, therein lies all the difficulties due to the overlap.

That hasnt really explained anything further, but merely repeated what the other person said.

Gender and sex are the same thing, determined by biology only.

I have no problem calling someone whatever they want of they ask for it, but im drawing the line at exposing kids to such confusion. I have nothing else to add really

This is a real problem people are facing today, the play on words. The idea is to try and move the goalposts of what we know in a rational way but it is proving to blur the lines when it is hijacked by groups for their own benefits, or by those that go out their way to support a minority view no matter the consequence.

Take "gender is a social construct" as an example, it is the same as colour or weights being a social construct.

For people to be able to communicate we need to construct and define, colour is a great example of this.

We know what red is, we know what blue is because we are all taught this, if we didn't do this we would not be able have a common stop light, warnings and so on.

Blur those lines and it all of a sudden becomes uncertain, is that sign warning me, it appears to have no defined colour but I recognise the sign.

Do the whole of society need to adopt a new way of defining gender for the relatively few that don't recognise the established social construct of gender today?

Not all cultures see colour in the same way. Depends on who taught them."

Exactly, society teaches the definition. Should the definitions of a minority be adopted by the majority? If they are how does it become the new norm without causing the confusion that exists today, the backlash and people jumping up and down with so much vitriol to hammer it home?

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide.

Bit earlier you said let boys be boys abd girls be girls?

This seems at odds with that gender-nornative stance?

No it doesn't. There have always been masculine girls and feminine boys. They are aspects of personality, not a flashing light to get on to the Tavistock asap.

So when you said we need to let boys be boys and girls be girls what did you mean given you seem happy for thrm to not conform to gender norms with colours and toys?"

I really dont know how to delve into anymore granular detail here.

Broadly speaking, if a 10 year old boy says he wants to be known as she, then i believe a parent should nip that in the bud. Similarly if that child says he feels like a girl. Nip that in tje bud too. If it's more than just a phase then by all means support when they are old enough. Until then, do your job as a parent

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide.

Bit earlier you said let boys be boys abd girls be girls?

This seems at odds with that gender-nornative stance?

No it doesn't. There have always been masculine girls and feminine boys. They are aspects of personality, not a flashing light to get on to the Tavistock asap.

So when you said we need to let boys be boys and girls be girls what did you mean given you seem happy for thrm to not conform to gender norms with colours and toys?"

Yes, this sounds like "people can have whatever gender performance they want as long as they don't do specific things"

He and she are labels. Like Bruce or Elizabeth. Why not just... Let people be as they want to be (within the same guidance you'd give to a child in any other area of development)?

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Food for thought - this debate on pronouns (and titles) is very much language dependent. Other languages treat gender differently and much less of an issue.

Japanese, for example, is much closer to being gender neutral. Pronouns for male and female exist but are used much less. It is far more common to just use somebody's name or "that/this person". For titles, ditto the main suffix in polite speech is "-san" which is gender neutral. Much easier. The English language has created an artificial problem which need not exist.

Yeah, it's bloody amazing that people get so het up over what's ultimately artificial constructs.

^^^ This entirely!

Girl is not feminine, it's neutral. See. See. Das Mädchen. Science! If we don't accept that girls are not feminine then society will be destroyed

To be honest, I really struggle to see the issue.

Let people ascribe themselves whatever they feel. I use she/her in some situations purely as a sign of support that it is ok to assign a pronoun if that makes sense.

One of the issues surely is that if a bunch of grown ups and educated and intelligent adults can't get to grips with gender and sex and pronouns... What chance a 10 year old child? How would a 10 year old understand the nuance of being called it or they rather than he or she?

In English, it usually implies an object.

In English, she is for people who feel female and he is for people who feel male. They is for people where we're not sure, hypotheticals, or who feel neither male nor female.

Like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, they'll figure it out. (And like any aspect of a child figuring out who they are, trying to ban it tends to backfire )

People who 'feel' female and people who 'feel' male?

To each their own, just keep the kids out of the nonsense please

So children aren't allowed to work out who they are?

That depends what you mean. If you are referring to whether they want to be male or female, then no they shouldnt be allowed.

If you mean whether they want to play with dolls or toy soldiers, or wear pink or blue, then yes by all means let them decide.

Ok. I think children should be able to decide all aspects of who they are and learn to live true to themselves.

My experience tells me that trying to stifle young adults tends to result in frayed relationships.

We're not talking about young adults though are we. This discussion began over a 10 year old

Tbh the mum has already stated she won’t be restricting her child in the way you suggested so at this point I don’t know why you’re fighting so hard. The 10 year old in question will be fine because they have a loving and empathetic parent to help them through it. "

We're having a discussion. Should i stop so because you dont agree with me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good Pronouns Every He She It

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Exactly, society teaches the definition. Should the definitions of a minority be adopted by the majority? If they are how does it become the new norm without causing the confusion that exists today, the backlash and people jumping up and down with so much vitriol to hammer it home? "

I think strictly it's not that different cultures see colour differently, it's that they describe them differently. If a culture hasn't had a need to differentiate between say green and blue, they don't.

You could argue this similarly in that the issue has been whether our language has been adequate to describe what's been needed (or if our language has constrained what people believe they can see).

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Seems to me lots of folks are being led a merry dance to address someone by something no more significant than a nick name? I may be standing alone hear. But I can't see any upside at all to confusing our children with this which seems to be very significant to very few people. Coercing and forcing it in front of children is the reason we stopped advertising cigarettes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems to me lots of folks are being led a merry dance to address someone by something no more significant than a nick name? I may be standing alone hear. But I can't see any upside at all to confusing our children with this which seems to be very significant to very few people. Coercing and forcing it in front of children is the reason we stopped advertising cigarettes. "

Perhaps the point is they're already confused?

I'm not sure about comparing issues of personal identity with lung disease.

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