FabSwingers.com forum: What is the shortest amount of time you have had a job and why

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Morning all .

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

About 3 hours many years ago ..

Hated it so walked out

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

36 years.

It’s the only one I’ve had.

Although I have had a few part time odd jobs.

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
over a year ago

Lanson

5 years for me, I'm generally a "stayer" & like to think I pick jobs I actually like!

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Trial for a rich bitch as a gardener. Got me to strim the verge along her land . No hi-viz, no cones, heavy traffic. I told her to stick it.

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By *heonixrising500Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

30 mins I not be treated like that and talked down to

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

38 Days......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

about 3.5 yrs for me and same for my oh

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

3 weeks asked to take too large a vehicle to deliver to too narrow streets to often then moaned at for not keeping to schedual walked away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once did a days work and decided it wasn't for me, so never went back, which is not my usual pattern. Lost two of my longest serving jobs due to redundancy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

8 hours

Because the job was shit and I hated it

Mrs C

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 days. I went for a pint on my lunch break and ended up staying in the pub and not going back.

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By *otKitty400Woman
over a year ago

hinckley

I started a job on a Monday, had an interview for another job on the Friday. Knew after a couple of hours I’d made a mistake

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

About 4 hrs.

Working for an agency working on a big mansion development near Wentworth.

I had to cut up a floor and managed to cut through about 6 pipes and some electric wires.

Didn't tell anyone just packed up my tools and went home.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

1 hour.

It was a temp job whilst I was at Uni at a small factory. The first thing they wanted me to do was clean up the yard, but they didn't issue any gloves for picking stuff up with and so I just went home instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

btw, one of my siblings, walked out after about an hour as he'd had an argument with his foreman theny were called at the time. Sibling said the foreman was shouting came back to your station and sibling waved. Sibling walked into another job the next day and stayed there for a couple of years but at times you just know it is not the right job for you possibly becuse of the people working there do not like you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked in a warehouse for 4 days once, I decided to leave when one of the fork trucks slid along the wet floor into the racking.

H&S would have shut that place down if they got word of it

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

The shortest time is 30 years. I’ve still got the same job

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By *an1978Woman
over a year ago

GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please)

12 months, because my second job offered me full time hours.

I'm normally a ten years kinda gal.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I was supposed for be clearing a factory...turns out with a bunch of hooligans...after one day which at one point involving a filing cabinet being thrown down a staircase..I said thanks but no thanks and never went back

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"About 3 hours many years ago ..

Hated it so walked out

Did you return the mankini...

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"About 3 hours many years ago ..

Hated it so walked out

Did you return the mankini..."

The boss was an asshole so I stole it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Literally 6 minutes, was hired as a contract pipe welder for a small company who's regular employees were all out on site.

He spoke to me like a piece of shit as soon as I arrived, didn't really want me there, I costed way too much money for him, but he had no choice if he wanted the work completed.

I politely said no one speaks to me like that, I'm here to do you a favour, got back in my car and vanished

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Literally 6 minutes, was hired as a contract pipe welder for a small company who's regular employees were all out on site.

He spoke to me like a piece of shit as soon as I arrived, didn't really want me there, I costed way too much money for him, but he had no choice if he wanted the work completed.

I politely said no one speaks to me like that, I'm here to do you a favour, got back in my car and vanished"

Well done sir

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By *iscrete GloryholeMan
over a year ago

Ashford kent

4 days.. employed in "employment" agency".. hired by direct manager.. top boss arrived and in a open conversation said I was gay not married.. next morning asked to leave.

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

3 weeks, taken on and paid as an electrical labourer although having worked as an electrician for 23 years and having 17th edition, after 3 days put in charge of a job and had people working under me but when I asked for a better rate after 3 weeks was refused so the plans were handed in to the office and off I went.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 hours. Doing door to door sales with an absolute prick.

I left him there and walked 3km to the nearest pub.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

A week. I hated it. I could feel my soul being crushed every time I arrived there.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

About 3 years. Moved on to progress my career.

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

2 weeks, 10 working days.

Day 1. Induction.

Day 2. Training.

Day 3. Here's your first job. Pretty simple. Done.

Day 5. Here's your next job. Pretty simple. Done.

Day 6. Here's your next job, its got to be in on Friday. Over 1,500 drawings and specifications to read and understand.

Me, wheres the design?

Them, there isn't one, you've got to design it.

Me, so you want the design done by Friday?

Them, no, designed and priced.

Me, what's the budget?

Them, about 2.5million, it's 10 times the size of anything we've ever priced before, really important job for us.

Me, it'll take at least a month to design it.

Them, we've promised the client he'd have it back by Friday, designed and priced.

Me........... works 18 hour days to pull a loose design and reasonably accurate budget together.

Friday. You're sacked!

Me,

why?

Them, you're too slow.

Me, well you're a fucking idiot.

Walks out......

Winston

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

A few months because I was 17 and the boss was a lech.

He also had a business associate who was a lech too.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

3 months working with Ocado.

They literally Tey and work you to death. There is a reason why that company is always looking for staff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not one Blow job/PE joke

I went to a job interview at a tofu factory. Found a better place to work, but the tofu factory simply gave me my rota without even seeing if I wanted it.

Does that count ?

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By *JandCMCouple
over a year ago

cardiff

One evening, when I was 17 i was a waiter n it wasn't for me.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Two weeks I think, as a teenager. Did the usual interview and CV shtick, started training, and then one day got pulled out of training and walked me out of the building.

Apparently one of my references was less than favourable so they decided to just bin me off

LvM

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Many light years ago, (paper round) several months the shop keeper tried to cheat me out of my Tip's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two days hated it bloody freezing and wet all day made excuse never went back.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

1 month, went to work for specialist commercial cleaning company after initial training, I got sent on a job to clean a lab, found out it was used for animal products testing and quit

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

30 mins walked in took one look at the place didn't like the vibe and left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3hrs. Started work for a building firm and the team I was with were a bunch of idiots. I walked off after I had my morning break, along with another guy who thought the same.

I’m sure one of them would have had a Cieling fall on them that day. No thoughts of safety at all.

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By *un Seeker 81Man
over a year ago

Hull

1 hr had to quit b4 I did something I would regret a jumped up 16 year old trying to tell me my job/trade when he's never been on a site and was straight out of school daddy's spoilt little bratt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Two weeks I think, as a teenager. Did the usual interview and CV shtick, started training, and then one day got pulled out of training and walked me out of the building.

Apparently one of my references was less than favourable so they decided to just bin me off

LvM"

Speaking of references:

I was applying for a job but didnt know whether to put down a previous job on my CV as I had missed a lot of days there.

So I rang the previous job pretending to be from HR from another company and asking about myself. I asked about my attendance and they said they couldnt give me that information.

I hung up and put the job on my CV

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not long one job as a teen a guy grabbed my arse so i left him looking like a starfish on the ground and walked out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About ten minutes, I was working for an employment agency and I get sent to a propper grotty old factory, got moaned at because I was late, after explaining to the boss I was only just told about the job he said he doesn't need excuses. We walked onto the shop floor and he expected to sand down washers on a belt sander with a pair of cotton gloves and don't take the piss with the gloves, I told him he was taking the piss and walked out, the agency wasn't very happy with me

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

Shortest time, a Sunday morning.

At 16, still at school, managed to wangle a job at the fair ground.

Was so excited, thought I'd be spinning around on the waltzers, impressing the girls.

Instead, was given a satchel and told to check the bingo numbers when some old granny shouted 'house'.

I'd told my mates I was big, tough and have all the girls, they all took the piss out of me on the bingo when they showed up to witness my non waltzer job.

Decided to work hard at school from that day on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe easier to ask :

When was the last time u had a permanent job :

Never

plus , there isn’t such a thing as permanent job

They can always get rid of you in 12 months or whatever .

Sadly is never that safe . Madness isn’t it ?

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By *ustintime69Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Two hours

Took a job to help out a friend who had double booked himself. The manager was not happy and made that clear, kept me hanging about for two hours while he tried to get a replacement for me and then said he would put me on a day’s trial as he couldn’t get anyone else at such short notice, at which point I politely told him that he better get back on the tools then as I had better things to do with my time than to work for him. My mate got an earful about it but he is still my mate and that manager and the business have folded!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I rang the previous job pretending to be from HR from another company and asking about myself. I asked about my attendance and they said they couldnt give me that information.

That's HR speak for their attendance was shit! They aren't allowed to slag you off anymore - bit like school reports so saying nothing is saying a lot

I started a contract job with the result of another interview outstanding - got the other job the day after I started. Strangely they didn't insist I work out the weeks notice

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

4 hours. Luckily it was only a trial shift & I hadn’t handed notice in on other job. It was a chain pub/restaurant & I didn’t like the way they did things & cut corners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4 months. Awful place with awful people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

23yrs, Royal Navy

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

When I was 18 I had a weekend job working in the beer tent at the V Festival. Serving overpriced beer and mini bottles of wine to festival goers. We had to take the lids off the wine incase they threw them at the performers.

We had to clean down the machinery at the end and a whole load of stale beer landed on me. I stank worse than an alcoholic on the bus home

My one and only experience of a festival. I've never seen toilets like it. And they were the staff toilets

Plus the Red Hot Chilli Peppers were crap live

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Four months. Got an offer for double the pay, half the work, and a tenth of the agro

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4 months I think.

Didn’t like the boss so left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

30 mins delivery job

Given a list of parcels and where they were going and keys to a pre-loaded van

Guys had loaded the cab and then given me the wrong list

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

About 5 hours, I used to work on site but there wasn't much about at the time so I took a job in a factory. They made chains and I had to get a pin and hammer it in to join the links together into 2m lengths before passing it on to the next guy who put it through the press. Come dinnertime I told the gaffer he had better phone the agency and get some other brain dead morom in to do it, then promptly walked out. This was about 30 years ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Half hour then met the boss,ex and a horrid one at that,so I grabbed my stuff and left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just over 3 year but 2 months into my current job. Feel like I see myself moving after a few years once things go stale as they tend to do.

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By *urvySub87Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

A shift and a half. Got asked to do something dangerous that I hadn't been trained for so didn't return after my break

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Had a job for 18 months but only worked 12 months of that. Lockdown and six months of furlough before being made redundant for the first time in my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4 months as an analyst for a stock brokers… I was specialising on AIM oil and Gas… failed my regulatory exam and they were brutal and gave me 5 mins to clear my desk… gutted - but highly relived - hated the financial sector - didn’t like the colleagues, all about the bottom line and arrogant wide boys.

Turned that experience and the limited knowledge from that industry into a positive in the next role and did pretty well… 15 yrs ago now… I did well in the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About 1 minute, it was a blow job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was 18 I had a weekend job working in the beer tent at the V Festival. Serving overpriced beer and mini bottles of wine to festival goers. We had to take the lids off the wine incase they threw them at the performers.

We had to clean down the machinery at the end and a whole load of stale beer landed on me. I stank worse than an alcoholic on the bus home

My one and only experience of a festival. I've never seen toilets like it. And they were the staff toilets

Plus the Red Hot Chilli Peppers were crap live"

As an aside my first live concert was the RHCP in Edinburgh- totally agree they were dire live. So disappointed.

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By *olarbear73Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

A week. It was a paper round, I started on the Monday and lasted till Sunday and when I finished and went back to the shop to hand the bag in I told the owner to stuff it. He was expecting me to do a weeks worth and a Sunday for about £6 a week

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I worked as a nanny when I was 17. I was left in charge of a 9, 7, 2year old plus a 6month old baby. Exhausting stuff with poor money considering the responsibility I had. I left after 4weeks.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

About 3 months.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

I managed 4 hours in one job years ago. Knew I'd made a mistake, but had to wait until lunchtime to grab my kit and walk out......

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By *ip2Man
over a year ago

Near Maidenhead

10 minutes. Office in Leatherhead. The job was to phone businesses to try to sell them legal manuals.

I felt it was rude to cold call.

Seeing me hesitate, within minutes I was out and back at the temp agency again.

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By *ryan...Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

[Removed by poster at 15/10/22 18:14:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1 week. The guy who ran the business was the biggest wanker I've ever had the misfortune of meeting. Couldn't stay in a toxic environment like that

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By *ryan...Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

No chancellor's of the Exchequers on here today !

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By *uddlesXXXCouple
over a year ago

Huddersfield area

An evening. About 3 hours or so, I was 15 and employed to work in the kitchens of a Greek restaurant, and I was made to feel so uncomfortable. A kitchen full of much older men making insanely inappropriate comments on a minor ???? I sent my mum back to pick up the money they owed me, a d never set foot back in there

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Half a day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not me personally but had a young lad start with us (FOUNDRY) he stayed for a morning then disapeared

On the Friday his mum turned up asking how he was getting on and brought his lunch.

Had to explain to her he left after a few hours on Monday morning and never came back

Would have loved to be a fly on the wall when he got home that evening lol

Also my brother in law went for a job in another foundry and looked around and walked straight back out saying "fuck this for a job" lol

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

A week.

I got fed up with being spoken to as a piece of shit, I was employed as an apprentice, but like most was treted as a lacky. Went home for lunch, never went back.

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

Working at a petrol station when I was 18. I was on trial for an afternoon. When I phoned them later to see if I got the job, they didn’t want me back and didn’t pay me like they promised. I learnt later it’s what they did to youngsters to avoid paying staff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didnt happen to me ,it happened with a workmate,we were sent to a cold war techno listening station, secrets act ,etc , after hrs of induction they found out he was once in the foreign legion ,gave him his taxi fare and walked him to the gate, l didnt see him again for 30 yrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paper boy, 2 days. Got sacked for walking across a garden whilst eating a chomp. It shaped me for the future.

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By *irandMysteriousCouple
over a year ago

Swinton

2 weeks, turns out I wasn’t cut out for door to door sales trying to get people to sign up for the milkman

and that’s a genuine job I held, not a euphemism!

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By *edfleetMan
over a year ago

covent garden

I didn’t make my first coffee break. I told my manager to stop patronising me.. .. then got my coat and left.

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By *ryan...Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

No prime minister's on here then

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

6 weeks I took a job in the summer holidays once selling iron board covers and tea towels on doorsteps al over uk , loved it , got a few songs too but had to go back to school in September

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"No prime minister's on here then

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

Half a day! It quickly became clear that the package I'd been offered was very different to the reality

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

About half an hour,Turned up at a construction site in the middle of nowhere at the appointed time of 8am, was ignored by the site manager until about 8.30 he then told me I had half an hour to find some digs and to be back at the site for 9am. I got into my car drove off and never bothered to return.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

3hrs - employed as a senior analyst - said boss is off sick so just go on call centre phone… called agency…. Waited on call back… got another call …urgent start .. went there …. Done.

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