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"What does this mean? Does this mean you got it from your parent? What's the opposite of "naturally"? You had to go to Dom school? Same questions for all the subs.... "I read it as they're a bit of a bossy cnut  | |||
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"What does this mean? Does this mean you got it from your parent? What's the opposite of "naturally"? You had to go to Dom school? Same questions for all the subs....
I read it as they're a bit of a bossy cnut "With whip in hand | |||
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"What does this mean? Does this mean you got it from your parent? What's the opposite of "naturally"? You had to go to Dom school? Same questions for all the subs....
I read it as they're a bit of a bossy cnut "But why boast about being a bossy cunt?  | |||
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"What does this mean? Does this mean you got it from your parent? What's the opposite of "naturally"? You had to go to Dom school? Same questions for all the subs....
I read it as they're a bit of a bossy cnut
But why boast about being a bossy cunt? "People boast about a lot of stuff on here that I'd be embarrassed to share in a confessional | |||
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"What does this mean? Does this mean you got it from your parent? What's the opposite of "naturally"? You had to go to Dom school? Same questions for all the subs....
I read it as they're a bit of a bossy cnut
With whip in hand "Or a paddle  | |||
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"I’m naturally dominant. It just means if you slap me or try and bum me we’re going to have a problem." How old were you when you know this? | |||
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"What does this mean? Does this mean you got it from your parent? What's the opposite of "naturally"? You had to go to Dom school? Same questions for all the subs....
I read it as they're a bit of a bossy cnut "Or try to be! You see it across the forum posts all the time with people who assert their authority as ‘naturally dominant’ Is it also a form of bullying maybe? | |||
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"It seems like a trick question " ? How? I see "naturally dominant" a lot on profiles and in messages. It bemuses me. | |||
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"I’m naturally dominant. It just means if you slap me or try and bum me we’re going to have a problem. How old were you when you know this? "I can’t say for fear of being banned or having your thread removed. | |||
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"To me it's a term alpha males use who confuse being controlling with being Dominant and are trying to justify their controlling behaviour. I realise that may not be universally true" | |||
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"Its my excuse for being an arsehole! "…. I want to be a Dom | |||
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"I’m naturally dominant. It just means if you slap me or try and bum me we’re going to have a problem. How old were you when you know this?
I can’t say for fear of being banned or having your thread removed." | |||
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"It seems like a trick question ? How? I see "naturally dominant" a lot on profiles and in messages. It bemuses me. " Cos either way, you seem to be mocking them | |||
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"What does this mean? Does this mean you got it from your parent? What's the opposite of "naturally"? You had to go to Dom school? Same questions for all the subs.... "It's not very complicated. Just about personality types... Now if the question is what informs the development of our personalities.. That's a two sentence answer. | |||
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"It seems like a trick question ? How? I see "naturally dominant" a lot on profiles and in messages. It bemuses me. Cos either way, you seem to be mocking them " I suspect that men who describe themselves as "naturally dominant" are mocking the principles of Dom/sub relationships and using the phrase to impress wannabe submissives. So I'm not going to apologise for the way I've worded the OP. But as always, I'm happy to hear alternative points of view. | |||
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"Its my excuse for being an arsehole! "I really was expecting more from you on this topic.  | |||
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"Someone who is dominant sexully means to me, they like to take charge, be in control of how things go, basically lead the other person in what happens. " But "naturally" - what does that mean to you? If you're sub, are you "naturally sub"? | |||
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"Someone who is dominant sexully means to me, they like to take charge, be in control of how things go, basically lead the other person in what happens. But "naturally" - what does that mean to you? If you're sub, are you "naturally sub"?" It's something that comes naturally to them, like instinctively...less so than born like it.Babies aren't leaders. | |||
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"‘Naturally dominant?’ - Possibly an alternative manner of expressing the fact that the person so boasting this ostensibly haughty state of being is a prize cunt? " I'd not have said theyre prize cunts. But it does seem to imply they're "better at being dominant" in a way. Better than those who aren't that personality type? Because plenty of dominant men I've encountered aren't controlling people - they just like taking charge in bed. | |||
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"Pondering this whilst listening to ‘Joanna’ by Kool and the gang! It’s irrelevant, I’m submissive by nature! " Does that mean you're sub in every part of your life? | |||
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"What does this mean? Does this mean you got it from your parent? What's the opposite of "naturally"? You had to go to Dom school? Same questions for all the subs....
I read it as they're a bit of a bossy cnut
Or try to be! You see it across the forum posts all the time with people who assert their authority as ‘naturally dominant’
Is it also a form of bullying maybe? "Hmm. I have felt from a few "naturally dominant" guys that they are trying to intimidate me. As in "I was born this way" so I know everything. | |||
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"Assertive alpha top with big dick and knows how to fuck coupled with plenty stamina = “Dom.” over Sissy Bitch made to take his cock balls deep and hard = Sub. nowt to do with schooling, genes, laziness, etc... is simply to do with each others preferences in enjoying nsa discreet fun, plenty hardcore sex - yes please. well at least for me it is, very much enjoy being the Sub. servicing big dicks like a practiced whore "Sounds like it works for you. More of a top/bottom dynamic than Dom/sub. | |||
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"Its my excuse for being an arsehole!
…. I want to be a Dom "Fake it till you make it! | |||
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"Assertive alpha top with big dick and knows how to fuck coupled with plenty stamina = “Dom.” over Sissy Bitch made to take his cock balls deep and hard = Sub. nowt to do with schooling, genes, laziness, etc... is simply to do with each others preferences in enjoying nsa discreet fun, plenty hardcore sex - yes please. well at least for me it is, very much enjoy being the Sub. servicing big dicks like a practiced whore
Sounds like it works for you. More of a top/bottom dynamic than Dom/sub."
Have been with Professional Dominatrix females who certainly knew what they’re doing in comparison to so many amateur wannabes on here who claim to be a Dom but haven’t really got the know-how...
It’s an artform to be a true Dom. | |||
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"Its my excuse for being an arsehole!
I really was expecting more from you on this topic. "In all seriousness, its a personality type or trait. They tend to be confident in themselves and their abilities, if is not always about “taking charge”, being “alpha” or any of those cliches. You can easily tell someone who is trying to play a dominant role, because they easily fall back into their natural state, be that submissive or dismissive. A naturally dominant person is just someone who is that. They don’t need to pretend or put on a facade. It does not mean they are a sadist, rigger or other top type. in my experience most people claiming to be naturally dominant tend to mean so in the bedroom (including rough sex) and not so much in a Dom / sub way. You can get people who are naturally submissive, in so much as their personality type tends to err kn the side of people pleaser or deferential to those people they choose to put above themselves. Being naturally submissive does not make you a doormat. Again some people use this to describe how they are in the bedroom, in that they want someone else to take charge and make the decisions for them. Lets not get started on “do me” subs | |||
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"Someone who is dominant sexully means to me, they like to take charge, be in control of how things go, basically lead the other person in what happens. " This right here. Hit the nail on the head. | |||
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Being natural at something is when you don't have to work at being it, you just are and people recognise it from your behaviour | |||
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"I like to lead and people like to follow me, I don't need to bully, belittle or demand to take charge. I am in charge
Being natural at something is when you don't have to work at being it, you just are and people recognise it from your behaviour "I get that. That sounds right to me. But why then would anyone need to call themselves naturally dominant. Would you? | |||
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"I would label myself as more inclined to the Laissez-faire approach… ‘Do you want to do *insert sexual act here* in the bedroom tonight? No? Ahhh, no worries. Shall we phone your sister and ask her what sexual act we should do instead?’ " starting to wonder about you! | |||
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"I’ll give you my serious answer. It’s my way of saying I’m dominant but not a dom. I like to take the lead and like to have some level control during sex and I am not submissive at all." I don't think a lot of people here necessarily recognise the difference between Dom and dominant. Thank you for the serious answer | |||
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"Genuine Doms were born that way. It can't be taught, they know everything there is to know and people ahould not challenge or disagree with them. Anyone asking for advice how to be a Dom is not a Dom and should be derided and avoided. " "Naturally dominant" seems to be aimed at subs rather than other Doms, I think? But the message clearly affects men who have an interest in D/s. I see younger men feeling pretty insecure about it all. Where to start etc. they tend to approach subs with some experience rather than other Doms - that's just my experience and viewpoint from talking to dozens of men and being on kink sites. | |||
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"What does this mean? Does this mean you got it from your parent? What's the opposite of "naturally"? You had to go to Dom school? Same questions for all the subs....
It's not very complicated. Just about personality types... Now if the question is what informs the development of our personalities.. That's a two sentence answer. "I think that's a whole other thread! | |||
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"Anyone on here (there's a few) that has met me will attest to the fact I'm not an Alpha male. And I've become increasingly introverted I recent years. I've been at kink events where I've been mistaken for a sub. But I'm confident anyone who has ever played with me, or seen me in D/s scene will definitely confirm that I'm definitely a Dominant. I love that juxtaposition and love confusing people who think I'm not a true or natural Dom " I think this is where the "naturally Dom" language confuses me. The first man I played with is a very chilled, laid back guy who is not remotely Alpha either. And yet, like you, there's no way anyone could mistake who he is when he switches that side on. | |||
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"Anyone on here (there's a few) that has met me will attest to the fact I'm not an Alpha male. And I've become increasingly introverted I recent years. I've been at kink events where I've been mistaken for a sub. But I'm confident anyone who has ever played with me, or seen me in D/s scene will definitely confirm that I'm definitely a Dominant. I love that juxtaposition and love confusing people who think I'm not a true or natural Dom " This very much describes Mr KC too. | |||
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"Anyone on here (there's a few) that has met me will attest to the fact I'm not an Alpha male. And I've become increasingly introverted I recent years. I've been at kink events where I've been mistaken for a sub. But I'm confident anyone who has ever played with me, or seen me in D/s scene will definitely confirm that I'm definitely a Dominant. I love that juxtaposition and love confusing people who think I'm not a true or natural Dom I think this is where the "naturally Dom" language confuses me. The first man I played with is a very chilled, laid back guy who is not remotely Alpha either. And yet, like you, there's no way anyone could mistake who he is when he switches that side on. " This is me down to a tee. I keep my dominant side locked up till it's time to play and I let him out. | |||
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"D types can safeword as well "I’ve never needed a safe word in my life. I get why people need one when doing things they’re not sure of, but the way I see it, she’s going to feel safe from start to finish and if I feel that that I’m pushing things, I stop or slow down without needing to be told, and she should do the same. I know I can push things ( ) I just need a hint not a word that can change my mood. | |||
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"Its my excuse for being an arsehole! " hmmmm
I’m gonna answer by describing my naturally Dom female friend. She decides and orders faster than me in a restaurant, often not looking at the menu. She Insists on driving , pulls up in her 4WD outside blocking traffic and beeps her horn for me to come out, , messages me pics of haircuts I should have , drives like she’s in London, ask very direct questions , strips of naked when we go swimming in the lake telling picnickers hide your eyes my tits and fanny are coming out | |||
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"Being a good dominant requires excellent communication and negotiation skills. Also the submissive partner in the Dom sub relationship isn’t always a quiet, meek, helpless figure you might imagine. I’m submissive but can be hard-nosed, outgoing and a sociable creature. It just so happens I enjoy CHOOSING to be more submissive nature when with a more dominant partner. And that’s the key. Choice. A Dom and sub lifestyle means you have the freedom to engage in as much dominance or submission as you choose. And it’s the reason you agree upon a safe word before you engage in any activity. It’s a safety measure for the submission, who can use the safe word at any point to end whatever activity is happening. It’s most commonly used to describe a power play during sexual activity. For example, the Dom during sex would be the one tying me up, pulling my hair, and generally doing... But Dom and sub can also mean a power play at work outside the bedroom. At the extreme end, a Dom sub relationship could mean a dynamic where the Dom is in charge of all aspects of the sub’s life. For example, picking what I eat, what I wear, what furniture I’m allowed to use, and even when I use the bathroom. This is more of a total power exchange situation. Also, gender doesn’t have to be the deciding factor. In gay relationships gender is irrelevant, yet one partner can still choose to take the Dom role whilst the other takes the sub role. And someone might also identify as being switch, meaning they are sometimes the Dom and sometimes the sub. It all depends on their mood and who they are playing with. Think of Dom and sub as a subcategory of BDSM (BDSM stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism). In fact, the D and S in BDSM have two meanings. The first mean dominance and submission, but also mean bonDage and Sadism. Just because one enjoys a Dom and sub relationship doesn’t mean they have to enjoy bondage or sadism. And likewise, if you enjoy sadism, it doesn’t mean you have to be engaged in Dom and sub powerplay (although you often are). I think of Dom and sub to mean the overarching theme of BDSM, dictating who has been consensually agreed upon to lead and who is to follow. Enjoy "I’d never claim to be a “Dom” and not into inflicting pain or humiliation on women for my own pleasure at all but I’m dominant, I couldn’t be anything else. Assertive, confident, ambitious, fairly competitive, if I like someone I tell them, might even chase a little , I generally take the lead planning and choosing , I like women that like guys to do that. I generally know how to get what I want in life, without treading on people, but just pushing a little , being a little more persistent and tenacious, enjoying risks and challenges a little more than other guys I know. I think some guys are into the sex side of being “a Dom” and there’s nothing wrong with that , blogs, munches, safe words all that , to learn how to do it , but I’ve never been interested in all that , I know RACK and I do what feels right for me and the woman I’m with | |||
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"They're a bossy bastard who doesn't listen to anyone all day every day, not just when having sex. " I think you are confusing dominant with domineering. | |||
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"Its my excuse for being an arsehole!
I really was expecting more from you on this topic.
In all seriousness, its a personality type or trait.
They tend to be confident in themselves and their abilities, if is not always about “taking charge”, being “alpha” or any of those cliches.
You can easily tell someone who is trying to play a dominant role, because they easily fall back into their natural state, be that submissive or dismissive.
A naturally dominant person is just someone who is that. They don’t need to pretend or put on a facade. It does not mean they are a sadist, rigger or other top type.
in my experience most people claiming to be naturally dominant tend to mean so in the bedroom (including rough sex) and not so much in a Dom / sub way.
You can get people who are naturally submissive, in so much as their personality type tends to err kn the side of people pleaser or deferential to those people they choose to put above themselves.
Being naturally submissive does not make you a doormat.
Again some people use this to describe how they are in the bedroom, in that they want someone else to take charge and make the decisions for them.
Lets not get started on “do me” subs "DO ME!!
But seriously, thank you | |||
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"Id never describe myself as a "dom", but it's natural for me to take the lead and put my partner into the next position etc. and be a little rough (if it's wanted). That's how I would describe being "naturally dominant" - but I wouldn't use that term myself as isn't it natural for most men to be like that and a lesser percentage being subs. " Natural for men to be in charge? I don't agree but good to hear your take on it? | |||
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"Id never describe myself as a "dom", but it's natural for me to take the lead and put my partner into the next position etc. and be a little rough (if it's wanted). That's how I would describe being "naturally dominant" - but I wouldn't use that term myself as isn't it natural for most men to be like that and a lesser percentage being subs. Natural for men to be in charge? I don't agree but good to hear your take on it?" Oooh a thread for me??? | |||
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"Id never describe myself as a "dom", but it's natural for me to take the lead and put my partner into the next position etc. and be a little rough (if it's wanted). That's how I would describe being "naturally dominant" - but I wouldn't use that term myself as isn't it natural for most men to be like that and a lesser percentage being subs. Natural for men to be in charge? I don't agree but good to hear your take on it? Oooh a thread for me??? "Being pegged doesn't strike me as the request of a "naturally dominant" man | |||
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"I'm not totally sure I believe in "naturally" submissive or dominant, in all honesty. I think if you were naturally submissive, you'd be submissive to everyone as it would be in your nature. And this is often not the case. At best I think someone can be the naturally D or s in their dynamic. I not in favour of such language as I think it can be used by some, if your were a true Dom/sub you'd do xyz. Think you have Dom/sub tendancies and that with the right person that part of you can be enhanced. " I think the more this thread goes on, the less in favour of "naturally" anything I am. Clearly I am not a sub personality! And I've had men tell me I'm not a true/real/natural sub. That seems problematic. The implication is often - well if you WERE a true sub, you'd do what I tell you to. | |||
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"Naturally Dominant is a perfectly acceptable term for someone who was born with the pre-requisites. The problem lies with those who incorrectly label themselves. " Would that be most of them then, Granny? Is it like saying how nice and genuine you are? | |||
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"Naturally Dominant is a perfectly acceptable term for someone who was born with the pre-requisites. The problem lies with those who incorrectly label themselves. Would that be most of them then, Granny? Is it like saying how nice and genuine you are?" Got to watch those trumpet blowers..... | |||
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"Naturally Dominant is a perfectly acceptable term for someone who was born with the pre-requisites. The problem lies with those who incorrectly label themselves. Would that be most of them then, Granny? Is it like saying how nice and genuine you are? Got to watch those trumpet blowers....." Oh yes | |||
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"I'm not totally sure I believe in "naturally" submissive or dominant, in all honesty. I think if you were naturally submissive, you'd be submissive to everyone as it would be in your nature. And this is often not the case. At best I think someone can be the naturally D or s in their dynamic. I not in favour of such language as I think it can be used by some, if your were a true Dom/sub you'd do xyz. Think you have Dom/sub tendancies and that with the right person that part of you can be enhanced. I think the more this thread goes on, the less in favour of "naturally" anything I am. Clearly I am not a sub personality! And I've had men tell me I'm not a true/real/natural sub. That seems problematic. The implication is often - well if you WERE a true sub, you'd do what I tell you to. " It's not like we go around saying I'm naturally a dickhead. And I'm often a dickhead doesn't mean I'm that all the time nor do I want to be labelled it | |||
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"I'm not totally sure I believe in "naturally" submissive or dominant, in all honesty. I think if you were naturally submissive, you'd be submissive to everyone as it would be in your nature. And this is often not the case. At best I think someone can be the naturally D or s in their dynamic. I not in favour of such language as I think it can be used by some, if your were a true Dom/sub you'd do xyz. Think you have Dom/sub tendancies and that with the right person that part of you can be enhanced. I think the more this thread goes on, the less in favour of "naturally" anything I am. Clearly I am not a sub personality! And I've had men tell me I'm not a true/real/natural sub. That seems problematic. The implication is often - well if you WERE a true sub, you'd do what I tell you to. It's not like we go around saying I'm naturally a dickhead. And I'm often a dickhead doesn't mean I'm that all the time nor do I want to be labelled it "Oh I SO want to update my profile now with that. | |||
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"Genuine Doms were born that way. It can't be taught, they know everything there is to know and people ahould not challenge or disagree with them. Anyone asking for advice how to be a Dom is not a Dom and should be derided and avoided. " I wouldn't agree with this. Dominance is a mindset which can incorporate confidence, self awareness and self-assurance. All of which are skills that can be learnt and developed. My current secondary partner has l, until recent times identified purely as submissive, but now he understands himself more and is far more confident he identifies as a switch and believe me that dominant side is one of the few people I have happily and willingly submitted too. I always identified as submissive. Over time as I became more aware of myself I'm a dominant leaning switch. Not only that, for a lot of people being a 'Dom' involves a lot of BDSM play all of which needs a lot of learning and understanding. | |||
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"Genuine Doms were born that way. It can't be taught, they know everything there is to know and people ahould not challenge or disagree with them. Anyone asking for advice how to be a Dom is not a Dom and should be derided and avoided. I wouldn't agree with this. Dominance is a mindset which can incorporate confidence, self awareness and self-assurance. All of which are skills that can be learnt and developed. My current secondary partner has l, until recent times identified purely as submissive, but now he understands himself more and is far more confident he identifies as a switch and believe me that dominant side is one of the few people I have happily and willingly submitted too. I always identified as submissive. Over time as I became more aware of myself I'm a dominant leaning switch. Not only that, for a lot of people being a 'Dom' involves a lot of BDSM play all of which needs a lot of learning and understanding. " I'm fairly sure the comment you're replying to is taking the mick
Thank you, Lady Jayne. Always food for thought around this topic. | |||
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"have been with Professional Dominatrix females who certainly knew what they’re doing in comparison to so many amateur wannabes on here who claim to be a Dom but haven’t really got the know-how... It’s an artform to be a true Dom." And pretty much all (say 90% at least) of the best pro Dommes I know - are submissive in their personal life. The best way to be able to get into someone's head - know why the buttons your pushing works. Switches make the best play partners. | |||
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"I'm fairly sure the comment you're replying to is taking the mick
Thank you, Lady Jayne. Always food for thought around this topic. "Oops. Autism fail... | |||
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"I'm fairly sure the comment you're replying to is taking the mick
Thank you, Lady Jayne. Always food for thought around this topic.
Oops. Autism fail..." | |||
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"Pondering this whilst listening to ‘Joanna’ by Kool and the gang! It’s irrelevant, I’m submissive by nature! Does that mean you're sub in every part of your life?" Not every part; there are some things I don’t like to relinquish control of. | |||
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"They're a bossy bastard who doesn't listen to anyone all day every day, not just when having sex. " Absolutely this. They’ll *try* to control what we do, where we do it, at what time…ohhhhhh boring boring boring | |||
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"Pondering this whilst listening to ‘Joanna’ by Kool and the gang! It’s irrelevant, I’m submissive by nature! Does that mean you're sub in every part of your life? Not every part; there are some things I don’t like to relinquish control of. " | |||
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"They're a bossy bastard who doesn't listen to anyone all day every day, not just when having sex. Absolutely this. They’ll *try* to control what we do, where we do it, at what time…ohhhhhh boring boring boring" That's just a twat, I think. | |||
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"They're a bossy bastard who doesn't listen to anyone all day every day, not just when having sex. Absolutely this. They’ll *try* to control what we do, where we do it, at what time…ohhhhhh boring boring boring That's just a twat, I think. "I think you might be right | |||
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"I get what it means and ditto naturally submissive. BUT wouldn't go around saying it as indeed make you sound like a bossy twat. Think some people are naturally dominant or submissive by nature while some act/fake it in sexual situations, which is not bad, just different. Bit like in normal life some are natural leaders and some force themselves if they have to. " | |||
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"have been with Professional Dominatrix females who certainly knew what they’re doing in comparison to so many amateur wannabes on here who claim to be a Dom but haven’t really got the know-how... It’s an artform to be a true Dom. And pretty much all (say 90% at least) of the best pro Dommes I know - are submissive in their personal life. The best way to be able to get into someone's head - know why the buttons your pushing works. Switches make the best play partners. " | |||
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"Genuine Doms were born that way. It can't be taught, they know everything there is to know and people ahould not challenge or disagree with them. Anyone asking for advice how to be a Dom is not a Dom and should be derided and avoided. I wouldn't agree with this. Dominance is a mindset which can incorporate confidence, self awareness and self-assurance. All of which are skills that can be learnt and developed. My current secondary partner has l, until recent times identified purely as submissive, but now he understands himself more and is far more confident he identifies as a switch and believe me that dominant side is one of the few people I have happily and willingly submitted too. I always identified as submissive. Over time as I became more aware of myself I'm a dominant leaning switch. Not only that, for a lot of people being a 'Dom' involves a lot of BDSM play all of which needs a lot of learning and understanding. " Sorry, it was a sarcastic post. 
I agree with you. I was being sarcastic because a lot of Dom BDSM people rant about how such things can't be learnt, they themselves 'live' the lifestyle and were just made that way. Which of course is bollocks.
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"Genuine Doms were born that way. It can't be taught, they know everything there is to know and people ahould not challenge or disagree with them. Anyone asking for advice how to be a Dom is not a Dom and should be derided and avoided. I wouldn't agree with this. Dominance is a mindset which can incorporate confidence, self awareness and self-assurance. All of which are skills that can be learnt and developed. My current secondary partner has l, until recent times identified purely as submissive, but now he understands himself more and is far more confident he identifies as a switch and believe me that dominant side is one of the few people I have happily and willingly submitted too. I always identified as submissive. Over time as I became more aware of myself I'm a dominant leaning switch. Not only that, for a lot of people being a 'Dom' involves a lot of BDSM play all of which needs a lot of learning and understanding. Sorry, it was a sarcastic post.
I agree with you. I was being sarcastic because a lot of Dom BDSM people rant about how such things can't be learnt, they themselves 'live' the lifestyle and were just made that way. Which of course is bollocks.
"Ah but those are the only twue doms  | |||
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"Genuine Doms were born that way. It can't be taught, they know everything there is to know and people ahould not challenge or disagree with them. Anyone asking for advice how to be a Dom is not a Dom and should be derided and avoided. I wouldn't agree with this. Dominance is a mindset which can incorporate confidence, self awareness and self-assurance. All of which are skills that can be learnt and developed. My current secondary partner has l, until recent times identified purely as submissive, but now he understands himself more and is far more confident he identifies as a switch and believe me that dominant side is one of the few people I have happily and willingly submitted too. I always identified as submissive. Over time as I became more aware of myself I'm a dominant leaning switch. Not only that, for a lot of people being a 'Dom' involves a lot of BDSM play all of which needs a lot of learning and understanding. Sorry, it was a sarcastic post.
I agree with you. I was being sarcastic because a lot of Dom BDSM people rant about how such things can't be learnt, they themselves 'live' the lifestyle and were just made that way. Which of course is bollocks.
Ah but those are the only twue doms "Weally? | |||
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"I personally think that a 24/7 living the bdsm lifestyle would be great for about....3 days.....although it can be a lot of fun in the bedroom!!!" I couldn't hack 24:7. I'd get irritated as hell. | |||
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"I personally think that a 24/7 living the bdsm lifestyle would be great for about....3 days.....although it can be a lot of fun in the bedroom!!!" But its not all about the bedroom. A 24/7 TPE relationship can be like having a grown up child. Its a lot of work, and not all fun and games. | |||
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"I personally think that a 24/7 living the bdsm lifestyle would be great for about....3 days.....although it can be a lot of fun in the bedroom!!! But its not all about the bedroom. A 24/7 TPE relationship can be like having a grown up child. Its a lot of work, and not all fun and games." | |||
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"Its my excuse for being an arsehole!
hmmmm
"Yeah you know an arsehole. The kinda person who wont speak to you directly, but happy enough to bad mouth you to others! | |||
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"I'm not totally sure I believe in "naturally" submissive or dominant, in all honesty. I think if you were naturally submissive, you'd be submissive to everyone as it would be in your nature. And this is often not the case. At best I think someone can be the naturally D or s in their dynamic. I not in favour of such language as I think it can be used by some, if your were a true Dom/sub you'd do xyz. Think you have Dom/sub tendancies and that with the right person that part of you can be enhanced. "  | |||
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"I don't know how to adequately describe this, but you can definitely tell when someone is naturally dominant .. It's like the steel is part of their dna - its not an act or a cloak.. They are usually extremely charismatic because they are confident in themselves and that carries through into everyday life and extends beyond into anything (or anyone) they are interested in " I agree with you its just how they naturally are. | |||
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"I don't know how to adequately describe this, but you can definitely tell when someone is naturally dominant .. It's like the steel is part of their dna - its not an act or a cloak.. They are usually extremely charismatic because they are confident in themselves and that carries through into everyday life and extends beyond into anything (or anyone) they are interested in " I agree. But if that's the case - why the need to state it? It's like "I'm a nice genuine guy". I'm sceptical! | |||
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"I don't know how to adequately describe this, but you can definitely tell when someone is naturally dominant .. It's like the steel is part of their dna - its not an act or a cloak.. They are usually extremely charismatic because they are confident in themselves and that carries through into everyday life and extends beyond into anything (or anyone) they are interested in I agree. But if that's the case - why the need to state it? It's like "I'm a nice genuine guy". I'm sceptical!" Possibly because if you're not looking for someone like that, or there's more than a fair chance that your personalities are going to clash.. Then it's handy to know? | |||
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"I don't know how to adequately describe this, but you can definitely tell when someone is naturally dominant .. It's like the steel is part of their dna - its not an act or a cloak.. They are usually extremely charismatic because they are confident in themselves and that carries through into everyday life and extends beyond into anything (or anyone) they are interested in I agree. But if that's the case - why the need to state it? It's like "I'm a nice genuine guy". I'm sceptical!" Oh i don't know.. My DD has 'naturally dominant' in his profile.... I always took it to mean 'I'm not a switch'?? | |||
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"Submissive is interesting. In my everyday life i am quite confident, direct, I'm a manager with very strong willed teams. People at work and i think friends /family would describe me as dominant Since joining fab i can observe how my behaviour differs. I'm paid to do a job and so i get it done well and i don't take any crap. But I've realised I thrive on praise and recognition - and overdeliver because i want to please and do a good job. I think this is where my 'natural submissive' nature is... Also because I'm a very strong character its very refreshing when i meet someone who knows what they want and i can just 'relax' instead of having to take charge. But I'm not insipid and I'll make you 'work for /earn' my submission... My personality means I'll challenge you and if you are not up to it then the dymamic just won't occur. It makes me sound cocky - I'm not, but i don't know how to adequately say it Sorry for such a long rambling post! " I’m glad to read the word DYNAMIC in your post over anything. And that’s normally the most natural thing I find. That comes naturally over anything. You just know their wants and desires feeds yours in that exact moment. No written agreements before or given names (sub / dom). Just ripping each other’s clothes off and one of you asking “just take me!’ And the other saying “ I’m going to have you climaxing and screaming all over this damn room!’ | |||
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"To me it's a term alpha males use who confuse being controlling with being Dominant and are trying to justify their controlling behaviour. I realise that may not be universally true" This is how I read it too | |||
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"Submissive is interesting. In my everyday life i am quite confident, direct, I'm a manager with very strong willed teams. People at work and i think friends /family would describe me as dominant Since joining fab i can observe how my behaviour differs. I'm paid to do a job and so i get it done well and i don't take any crap. But I've realised I thrive on praise and recognition - and overdeliver because i want to please and do a good job. I think this is where my 'natural submissive' nature is... Also because I'm a very strong character its very refreshing when i meet someone who knows what they want and i can just 'relax' instead of having to take charge. But I'm not insipid and I'll make you 'work for /earn' my submission... My personality means I'll challenge you and if you are not up to it then the dymamic just won't occur. It makes me sound cocky - I'm not, but i don't know how to adequately say it Sorry for such a long rambling post! " No rambling at all. I know what you mean. Many "dominant" men think all they need to do is whistle and a sub will roll over and beg. Submission can't be taken, it has to be offered freely. | |||
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"I don't know how to adequately describe this, but you can definitely tell when someone is naturally dominant .. It's like the steel is part of their dna - its not an act or a cloak.. They are usually extremely charismatic because they are confident in themselves and that carries through into everyday life and extends beyond into anything (or anyone) they are interested in I agree. But if that's the case - why the need to state it? It's like "I'm a nice genuine guy". I'm sceptical! Oh i don't know.. My DD has 'naturally dominant' in his profile.... I always took it to mean 'I'm not a switch'?? " Hadn't thought of that. Hmm. I just find it bemusing. And I've had negative experiences with men who claim it. That's why I was interested in other opinions. | |||
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"Submissive is interesting. In my everyday life i am quite confident, direct, I'm a manager with very strong willed teams. People at work and i think friends /family would describe me as dominant Since joining fab i can observe how my behaviour differs. I'm paid to do a job and so i get it done well and i don't take any crap. But I've realised I thrive on praise and recognition - and overdeliver because i want to please and do a good job. I think this is where my 'natural submissive' nature is... Also because I'm a very strong character its very refreshing when i meet someone who knows what they want and i can just 'relax' instead of having to take charge. But I'm not insipid and I'll make you 'work for /earn' my submission... My personality means I'll challenge you and if you are not up to it then the dymamic just won't occur. It makes me sound cocky - I'm not, but i don't know how to adequately say it Sorry for such a long rambling post! " Makes sense to me! | |||
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"Submissive is interesting. In my everyday life i am quite confident, direct, I'm a manager with very strong willed teams. People at work and i think friends /family would describe me as dominant Since joining fab i can observe how my behaviour differs. I'm paid to do a job and so i get it done well and i don't take any crap. But I've realised I thrive on praise and recognition - and overdeliver because i want to please and do a good job. I think this is where my 'natural submissive' nature is... Also because I'm a very strong character its very refreshing when i meet someone who knows what they want and i can just 'relax' instead of having to take charge. But I'm not insipid and I'll make you 'work for /earn' my submission... My personality means I'll challenge you and if you are not up to it then the dymamic just won't occur. It makes me sound cocky - I'm not, but i don't know how to adequately say it Sorry for such a long rambling post! No rambling at all. I know what you mean. Many "dominant" men think all they need to do is whistle and a sub will roll over and beg. Submission can't be taken, it has to be offered freely. " I would say as a domme, I need to earn his submission, he has to place ultimate trust in me that I can safely play with him and take him to such highs without abandoning him once 'I'm' done. I couldn't play with a sub that just gives me submission, I need to form a close connection with him and form our dynamic together | |||
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"Submissive is interesting. In my everyday life i am quite confident, direct, I'm a manager with very strong willed teams. People at work and i think friends /family would describe me as dominant Since joining fab i can observe how my behaviour differs. I'm paid to do a job and so i get it done well and i don't take any crap. But I've realised I thrive on praise and recognition - and overdeliver because i want to please and do a good job. I think this is where my 'natural submissive' nature is... Also because I'm a very strong character its very refreshing when i meet someone who knows what they want and i can just 'relax' instead of having to take charge. But I'm not insipid and I'll make you 'work for /earn' my submission... My personality means I'll challenge you and if you are not up to it then the dymamic just won't occur. It makes me sound cocky - I'm not, but i don't know how to adequately say it Sorry for such a long rambling post! " Not rambling at all! A very concise summary from my perspective. Thank you x | |||
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"Submissive is interesting. In my everyday life i am quite confident, direct, I'm a manager with very strong willed teams. People at work and i think friends /family would describe me as dominant Since joining fab i can observe how my behaviour differs. I'm paid to do a job and so i get it done well and i don't take any crap. But I've realised I thrive on praise and recognition - and overdeliver because i want to please and do a good job. I think this is where my 'natural submissive' nature is... Also because I'm a very strong character its very refreshing when i meet someone who knows what they want and i can just 'relax' instead of having to take charge. But I'm not insipid and I'll make you 'work for /earn' my submission... My personality means I'll challenge you and if you are not up to it then the dymamic just won't occur. It makes me sound cocky - I'm not, but i don't know how to adequately say it Sorry for such a long rambling post! No rambling at all. I know what you mean. Many "dominant" men think all they need to do is whistle and a sub will roll over and beg. Submission can't be taken, it has to be offered freely. I would say as a domme, I need to earn his submission, he has to place ultimate trust in me that I can safely play with him and take him to such highs without abandoning him once 'I'm' done. I couldn't play with a sub that just gives me submission, I need to form a close connection with him and form our dynamic together " I wanted to say that soemone needs to earn my submission, but thought it might come across as a bit up myself. | |||
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"I don't know how to adequately describe this, but you can definitely tell when someone is naturally dominant .. It's like the steel is part of their dna - its not an act or a cloak.. They are usually extremely charismatic because they are confident in themselves and that carries through into everyday life and extends beyond into anything (or anyone) they are interested in " Oh my. Way with words | |||
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"Submissive is interesting. In my everyday life i am quite confident, direct, I'm a manager with very strong willed teams. People at work and i think friends /family would describe me as dominant Since joining fab i can observe how my behaviour differs. I'm paid to do a job and so i get it done well and i don't take any crap. But I've realised I thrive on praise and recognition - and overdeliver because i want to please and do a good job. I think this is where my 'natural submissive' nature is... Also because I'm a very strong character its very refreshing when i meet someone who knows what they want and i can just 'relax' instead of having to take charge. But I'm not insipid and I'll make you 'work for /earn' my submission... My personality means I'll challenge you and if you are not up to it then the dymamic just won't occur. It makes me sound cocky - I'm not, but i don't know how to adequately say it Sorry for such a long rambling post! No rambling at all. I know what you mean. Many "dominant" men think all they need to do is whistle and a sub will roll over and beg. Submission can't be taken, it has to be offered freely. I would say as a domme, I need to earn his submission, he has to place ultimate trust in me that I can safely play with him and take him to such highs without abandoning him once 'I'm' done. I couldn't play with a sub that just gives me submission, I need to form a close connection with him and form our dynamic together I wanted to say that soemone needs to earn my submission, but thought it might come across as a bit up myself. "You definitely should as its such an important part of a trust bond. I never bother with what other people think of me, as I always manage to offend someone regardless | |||
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"Submissive is interesting. In my everyday life i am quite confident, direct, I'm a manager with very strong willed teams. People at work and i think friends /family would describe me as dominant Since joining fab i can observe how my behaviour differs. I'm paid to do a job and so i get it done well and i don't take any crap. But I've realised I thrive on praise and recognition - and overdeliver because i want to please and do a good job. I think this is where my 'natural submissive' nature is... Also because I'm a very strong character its very refreshing when i meet someone who knows what they want and i can just 'relax' instead of having to take charge. But I'm not insipid and I'll make you 'work for /earn' my submission... My personality means I'll challenge you and if you are not up to it then the dymamic just won't occur. It makes me sound cocky - I'm not, but i don't know how to adequately say it Sorry for such a long rambling post! No rambling at all. I know what you mean. Many "dominant" men think all they need to do is whistle and a sub will roll over and beg. Submission can't be taken, it has to be offered freely. I would say as a domme, I need to earn his submission, he has to place ultimate trust in me that I can safely play with him and take him to such highs without abandoning him once 'I'm' done. I couldn't play with a sub that just gives me submission, I need to form a close connection with him and form our dynamic together I wanted to say that soemone needs to earn my submission, but thought it might come across as a bit up myself.
You definitely should as its such an important part of a trust bond.
I never bother with what other people think of me, as I always manage to offend someone regardless "I've never seen you offend anyone here! But I have realised over time that whilst I am not naturally submissive, my submission is of value to those who seek it and worth working for. | |||
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"Submissive is interesting. In my everyday life i am quite confident, direct, I'm a manager with very strong willed teams. People at work and i think friends /family would describe me as dominant Since joining fab i can observe how my behaviour differs. I'm paid to do a job and so i get it done well and i don't take any crap. But I've realised I thrive on praise and recognition - and overdeliver because i want to please and do a good job. I think this is where my 'natural submissive' nature is... Also because I'm a very strong character its very refreshing when i meet someone who knows what they want and i can just 'relax' instead of having to take charge. But I'm not insipid and I'll make you 'work for /earn' my submission... My personality means I'll challenge you and if you are not up to it then the dymamic just won't occur. It makes me sound cocky - I'm not, but i don't know how to adequately say it Sorry for such a long rambling post! No rambling at all. I know what you mean. Many "dominant" men think all they need to do is whistle and a sub will roll over and beg. Submission can't be taken, it has to be offered freely. " I kinda put those in the wannabe category.. The whatshisname Gray category | |||
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"I don't know how to adequately describe this, but you can definitely tell when someone is naturally dominant .. It's like the steel is part of their dna - its not an act or a cloak.. They are usually extremely charismatic because they are confident in themselves and that carries through into everyday life and extends beyond into anything (or anyone) they are interested in I agree. But if that's the case - why the need to state it? It's like "I'm a nice genuine guy". I'm sceptical! Oh i don't know.. My DD has 'naturally dominant' in his profile.... I always took it to mean 'I'm not a switch'?? Hadn't thought of that. Hmm. I just find it bemusing. And I've had negative experiences with men who claim it. That's why I was interested in other opinions. " I think the term is used interchangeably for all kinds of personalities and people. I learnt the hard way that its very important to invest time in testing boundaries and ensuring the dynamic is right for you both and meets both needs. I ended up in a very coercive shit situation my first time round. | |||
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" Sorry for such a long rambling post! Not rambling at all! A very concise summary from my perspective. Thank you x" Thank you x | |||
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"I don't know how to adequately describe this, but you can definitely tell when someone is naturally dominant .. It's like the steel is part of their dna - its not an act or a cloak.. They are usually extremely charismatic because they are confident in themselves and that carries through into everyday life and extends beyond into anything (or anyone) they are interested in Oh my. Way with words "Thank you  | |||
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" Sorry for such a long rambling post! No rambling at all. I know what you mean. Many "dominant" men think all they need to do is whistle and a sub will roll over and beg. Submission can't be taken, it has to be offered freely. I would say as a domme, I need to earn his submission, he has to place ultimate trust in me that I can safely play with him and take him to such highs without abandoning him once 'I'm' done. I couldn't play with a sub that just gives me submission, I need to form a close connection with him and form our dynamic together I wanted to say that soemone needs to earn my submission, but thought it might come across as a bit up myself.
You definitely should as its such an important part of a trust bond.
I never bother with what other people think of me, as I always manage to offend someone regardless "To me its almost meaningless if its freely offered.. Either that or its a lets just play the part for two hours, so its definitely right that trust is earnt by both parties - its what makes the dynamic so strong and elastic-like | |||
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"Maybe they think that because they're assertive in real life, it translates to sex and BDSM. I genuinely know nothing about dom and sub dynamics but think they are mostly learned as opposed to anyone being naturally submissive or dominant." I think almost anything can be learnt, but try to change something that is your default and its really hard.. Ie, if you are righthanded.. Try and write with your left. You can probably do it, but not as well. You can practise and improve, but your natural tenancy will always be to pick up the pen with your right hand? | |||
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"Maybe they think that because they're assertive in real life, it translates to sex and BDSM. I genuinely know nothing about dom and sub dynamics but think they are mostly learned as opposed to anyone being naturally submissive or dominant. I think almost anything can be learnt, but try to change something that is your default and its really hard.. Ie, if you are righthanded.. Try and write with your left. You can probably do it, but not as well. You can practise and improve, but your natural tenancy will always be to pick up the pen with your right hand? " That's a good point. I suppose what I was thinking is that it wouldn't really be innate. It's more nurture rather than nature that determines whether someone is more dominant due to the way they live that causes that default. | |||
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"Maybe they think that because they're assertive in real life, it translates to sex and BDSM. I genuinely know nothing about dom and sub dynamics but think they are mostly learned as opposed to anyone being naturally submissive or dominant. I think almost anything can be learnt, but try to change something that is your default and its really hard.. Ie, if you are righthanded.. Try and write with your left. You can probably do it, but not as well. You can practise and improve, but your natural tenancy will always be to pick up the pen with your right hand? That's a good point. I suppose what I was thinking is that it wouldn't really be innate. It's more nurture rather than nature that determines whether someone is more dominant due to the way they live that causes that default." I'm inclined to think that being Dominant or submissive sexually at least is innate for many. I say that because of the people I've spent hours talking to, and the first hand accounts alive read. As well as my own experiences. When I encounter someone who I connect with at a deeper level, where I feel safe, submission just flows. | |||
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"I call myself naturally sub and that's because in a sexual scenario i get my pleasure from pleasing. Obviously i'm inclined to being dominated, and it is something i love, but even in more vanilla sex i'm drawn to giving pleasure almost more than i am receiving it. For example i'd much rather go down on someone than be gone down on, and when it comes to penetration i prefer the other person to choose the right timing for them. I also like the person i'm with to be "selfish" if i'm taking a cock for example i don't want them to stop if i cum i want them to keep going until they're satisfied, and if a woman wants to just use me to keep herself amused, face sitting or having me between her legs it's such a turn on. Effectively it's a power dynamic, and i love to give up power to the other person "I've found many people assume that subs are just happy to be treated badly/be used. But pleasing the Dominant/Domme - satisfying them (not necessarily sexually) is the driving motivation. It's somewhat difficult to explain to others, isn't it? | |||
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"I would preface my comments by saying these are my views and people are entitled to other views. The number one rule of the kink club is that you use defined terms. The number two rule is that no-one agrees with someone elses definition of a term. I think some context is required and I would suggest the term "naturally dominant" is used in at least five contexts. First, as jokingly put above, it can be used by people in D/S sense who believe dominance is innate, and they pronounce themselves as dominant and people who are submissive should automatically obey them. Second, it can be applied in a non D/S sense to people who automatically take control of situations rightly or wrongly. Third, it can apply to people who walk into a room, or who you talk to that exude command and control Fourth it can apply in a sexual sense to people who automatically take control in the bedroom. Fifth it can apply in a D/S sense where in a properly negotiated power exchange relationship/ dynamic a person's preference is to be in control. This applies in the converse for "naturally submissive". I am not into kink shaming but I can state I don't believe in "true doms" or "true subs". Whether you play in the deep end or the shallow end of the D/s pool it is all D/s, so in the same way I prefer Kinbaku to Shibari but at the end of the day it is all rope. It all depends if the the requirements of each in the potential relationship match. I think labels guide but do not define. So it has taken me time to accept that I am a dom. It is not so much as a want, as a need to have a power exchange relationship. But there are a number of steps to that. There also seems to be a confusion about "topping" and " bottoming". Pure play situations tend to be topping and bottoming and not (in mine and others view) an indication of D/S. I think the need to earn the sub's submission is a thing where the sub has power or there is a primal dynamic. It is mot unusual that there is a probationary period where the dom can decide whether to take on the sub. Clearly the sub can decide whether this is a relationship they want to be in. In my reading, listening yo podcasts, and watching YouTube, in my view in the U.S the expectation and appreciation of someone being "naturally dominant" is different from the U.K. Given that dynamic confident characters are a stereotype of American culture this is not surprising. So when two or more people are discussing emtering into a relationship of dominance and submission they need to be clear on the terms and expectations. People starting in the scene should understand the various dynamics before jumping in. " Love that you've summarised the various uses/meanings of "naturally dominant" because I think all have been mentioned in the thread. No wonder it can be bemusing! I had not thought at all of the US v UK. Thank you, Zensual. | |||
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"Maybe they think that because they're assertive in real life, it translates to sex and BDSM. I genuinely know nothing about dom and sub dynamics but think they are mostly learned as opposed to anyone being naturally submissive or dominant. I think almost anything can be learnt, but try to change something that is your default and its really hard.. Ie, if you are righthanded.. Try and write with your left. You can probably do it, but not as well. You can practise and improve, but your natural tenancy will always be to pick up the pen with your right hand? That's a good point. I suppose what I was thinking is that it wouldn't really be innate. It's more nurture rather than nature that determines whether someone is more dominant due to the way they live that causes that default. I'm inclined to think that being Dominant or submissive sexually at least is innate for many. I say that because of the people I've spent hours talking to, and the first hand accounts alive read. As well as my own experiences. When I encounter someone who I connect with at a deeper level, where I feel safe, submission just flows. " If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour | |||
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"Maybe they think that because they're assertive in real life, it translates to sex and BDSM. I genuinely know nothing about dom and sub dynamics but think they are mostly learned as opposed to anyone being naturally submissive or dominant. I think almost anything can be learnt, but try to change something that is your default and its really hard.. Ie, if you are righthanded.. Try and write with your left. You can probably do it, but not as well. You can practise and improve, but your natural tenancy will always be to pick up the pen with your right hand? That's a good point. I suppose what I was thinking is that it wouldn't really be innate. It's more nurture rather than nature that determines whether someone is more dominant due to the way they live that causes that default. I'm inclined to think that being Dominant or submissive sexually at least is innate for many. I say that because of the people I've spent hours talking to, and the first hand accounts alive read. As well as my own experiences. When I encounter someone who I connect with at a deeper level, where I feel safe, submission just flows. If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour " My opinion. For some people. I've figured out in the thread that what I find off putting is stating "naturally dominant" front and centre. There's someone who fabs all my photos and it's his headline. Gives me the ick. Anyone approaching me saying they're naturally dominant gives me the ick. I appreciate this is somewhat childish. | |||
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" If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour My opinion. For some people. I've figured out in the thread that what I find off putting is stating "naturally dominant" front and centre. There's someone who fabs all my photos and it's his headline. Gives me the ick. Anyone approaching me saying they're naturally dominant gives me the ick. I appreciate this is somewhat childish. " why don't you just block them and move on | |||
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" If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour My opinion. For some people. I've figured out in the thread that what I find off putting is stating "naturally dominant" front and centre. There's someone who fabs all my photos and it's his headline. Gives me the ick. Anyone approaching me saying they're naturally dominant gives me the ick. I appreciate this is somewhat childish.
why don't you just block them and move on "Because she lacks the ability to be naturally dominant, with the block button? Sorry couldn't resist | |||
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" If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour My opinion. For some people. I've figured out in the thread that what I find off putting is stating "naturally dominant" front and centre. There's someone who fabs all my photos and it's his headline. Gives me the ick. Anyone approaching me saying they're naturally dominant gives me the ick. I appreciate this is somewhat childish.
why don't you just block them and move on
Because she lacks the ability to be naturally dominant, with the block button?
Sorry couldn't resist "Very good! | |||
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"Maybe they think that because they're assertive in real life, it translates to sex and BDSM. I genuinely know nothing about dom and sub dynamics but think they are mostly learned as opposed to anyone being naturally submissive or dominant." In our sub/Dom dynamic, our bedroom personas/behaviour is the total opposite to our everyday behaviour. In professional and family life, I'm the confident one, I'm naturally outgoing and very assertive. Mr KC is much more reserved, almost shy, quiet etc. He is assertive but in a very different way. Most people assume I'm the Domme and he's sub. But that couldn't be further from the truth. | |||
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"Maybe they think that because they're assertive in real life, it translates to sex and BDSM. I genuinely know nothing about dom and sub dynamics but think they are mostly learned as opposed to anyone being naturally submissive or dominant. I think almost anything can be learnt, but try to change something that is your default and its really hard.. Ie, if you are righthanded.. Try and write with your left. You can probably do it, but not as well. You can practise and improve, but your natural tenancy will always be to pick up the pen with your right hand? That's a good point. I suppose what I was thinking is that it wouldn't really be innate. It's more nurture rather than nature that determines whether someone is more dominant due to the way they live that causes that default. I'm inclined to think that being Dominant or submissive sexually at least is innate for many. I say that because of the people I've spent hours talking to, and the first hand accounts alive read. As well as my own experiences. When I encounter someone who I connect with at a deeper level, where I feel safe, submission just flows. If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour " There are different ways of understanding the term "naturally dominant". It is normally used by people as a straight swap for "alpha male" and the baggage that term brings rather than a swap for the phrase "innate dominance" which is (in my view) a more subtle term than "naturally ddominant". It is innate because if the right power exchange opportunity arises in D/S that person will take control. This then recognises people who switch by nature and sometimes sub and sometimes dom. It also recognises people who realise to take control later in life, so submissives that realise they prefer to dom, or people who never thought they would like to dom and find that they do like it. This may be due to a specific sub bringing the desire out of them. I hope that makes sense. | |||
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"Yay all the praises. I mean, a man such as myself has no need for sustenance of this nature, for my self esteem. My naturally dominant nature provides everything a man could need... it has many gifts, like beating others to the till from the forecourt of the petrol station, all without breaking into a run. Quite a fey jog is inevitable though. But winning is winning." Maybe you have the edge on thee forecourt, it’s a simple scan of distances, and body types to know when and how to move ….but there’s no way you can predict which checkout line to join in the supermarket, no amount of testosterone gives you the ability to predict that | |||
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"Yay all the praises. I mean, a man such as myself has no need for sustenance of this nature, for my self esteem. My naturally dominant nature provides everything a man could need... it has many gifts, like beating others to the till from the forecourt of the petrol station, all without breaking into a run. Quite a fey jog is inevitable though. But winning is winning. Maybe you have the edge on thee forecourt, it’s a simple scan of distances, and body types to know when and how to move ….but there’s no way you can predict which checkout line to join in the supermarket, no amount of testosterone gives you the ability to predict that "Checkout lines are more of an art than a science, gauging the person on the till, a trolley filled with large bulky items versus the basket filled with a million individually scanned tic tacs. Experience, judgement, sheer will of belief in ones abilities. This defines success. And sharp pointy elbows. However, letting the person in front when they've only 3 items from the meal deal, held in hand. Priceless. Natural dominance also knows decency. | |||
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" If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour My opinion. For some people. I've figured out in the thread that what I find off putting is stating "naturally dominant" front and centre. There's someone who fabs all my photos and it's his headline. Gives me the ick. Anyone approaching me saying they're naturally dominant gives me the ick. I appreciate this is somewhat childish.
why don't you just block them and move on "They haven't done anything. The guilt! | |||
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" If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour My opinion. For some people. I've figured out in the thread that what I find off putting is stating "naturally dominant" front and centre. There's someone who fabs all my photos and it's his headline. Gives me the ick. Anyone approaching me saying they're naturally dominant gives me the ick. I appreciate this is somewhat childish.
why don't you just block them and move on
Because she lacks the ability to be naturally dominant, with the block button?
Sorry couldn't resist "At least you didn't mention a meme this time... | |||
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" If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour My opinion. For some people. I've figured out in the thread that what I find off putting is stating "naturally dominant" front and centre. There's someone who fabs all my photos and it's his headline. Gives me the ick. Anyone approaching me saying they're naturally dominant gives me the ick. I appreciate this is somewhat childish.
why don't you just block them and move on
They haven't done anything. The guilt! " | |||
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"pfft! I don't mind the driving seat but I'm more than happy for the woman to take the lead whilst I just lie back and enjoy the view for a while... "That is a switch | |||
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"Yay all the praises. I mean, a man such as myself has no need for sustenance of this nature, for my self esteem. My naturally dominant nature provides everything a man could need... it has many gifts, like beating others to the till from the forecourt of the petrol station, all without breaking into a run. Quite a fey jog is inevitable though. But winning is winning." A fey jog can be done with a dominant air.......erm, I think | |||
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"It means they will have you make them a sandwich afterwards." Dominant or just bossy? | |||
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"Maybe they think that because they're assertive in real life, it translates to sex and BDSM. I genuinely know nothing about dom and sub dynamics but think they are mostly learned as opposed to anyone being naturally submissive or dominant. I think almost anything can be learnt, but try to change something that is your default and its really hard.. Ie, if you are righthanded.. Try and write with your left. You can probably do it, but not as well. You can practise and improve, but your natural tenancy will always be to pick up the pen with your right hand? That's a good point. I suppose what I was thinking is that it wouldn't really be innate. It's more nurture rather than nature that determines whether someone is more dominant due to the way they live that causes that default. I'm inclined to think that being Dominant or submissive sexually at least is innate for many. I say that because of the people I've spent hours talking to, and the first hand accounts alive read. As well as my own experiences. When I encounter someone who I connect with at a deeper level, where I feel safe, submission just flows. If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour There are different ways of understanding the term "naturally dominant". It is normally used by people as a straight swap for "alpha male" and the baggage that term brings rather than a swap for the phrase "innate dominance" which is (in my view) a more subtle term than "naturally ddominant". It is innate because if the right power exchange opportunity arises in D/S that person will take control. This then recognises people who switch by nature and sometimes sub and sometimes dom. It also recognises people who realise to take control later in life, so submissives that realise they prefer to dom, or people who never thought they would like to dom and find that they do like it. This may be due to a specific sub bringing the desire out of them. I hope that makes sense." It does make sense, thank you. | |||
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"Maybe they think that because they're assertive in real life, it translates to sex and BDSM. I genuinely know nothing about dom and sub dynamics but think they are mostly learned as opposed to anyone being naturally submissive or dominant. I think almost anything can be learnt, but try to change something that is your default and its really hard.. Ie, if you are righthanded.. Try and write with your left. You can probably do it, but not as well. You can practise and improve, but your natural tenancy will always be to pick up the pen with your right hand? That's a good point. I suppose what I was thinking is that it wouldn't really be innate. It's more nurture rather than nature that determines whether someone is more dominant due to the way they live that causes that default. I'm inclined to think that being Dominant or submissive sexually at least is innate for many. I say that because of the people I've spent hours talking to, and the first hand accounts alive read. As well as my own experiences. When I encounter someone who I connect with at a deeper level, where I feel safe, submission just flows. If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour There are different ways of understanding the term "naturally dominant". It is normally used by people as a straight swap for "alpha male" and the baggage that term brings rather than a swap for the phrase "innate dominance" which is (in my view) a more subtle term than "naturally ddominant". It is innate because if the right power exchange opportunity arises in D/S that person will take control. This then recognises people who switch by nature and sometimes sub and sometimes dom. It also recognises people who realise to take control later in life, so submissives that realise they prefer to dom, or people who never thought they would like to dom and find that they do like it. This may be due to a specific sub bringing the desire out of them. I hope that makes sense. It does make sense, thank you. " I agree with that too. But I think if you look back in your life there will be clues. Maybe In your 20s and 30s you never even knew there was such thing as D/s dynamics and had fantasies or odd times you behaved a certain way and thought it was strange but then later in life discover something that gives you permission to behave in a way that feels perfectly normal, natural and effortless | |||
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"Maybe they think that because they're assertive in real life, it translates to sex and BDSM. I genuinely know nothing about dom and sub dynamics but think they are mostly learned as opposed to anyone being naturally submissive or dominant. I think almost anything can be learnt, but try to change something that is your default and its really hard.. Ie, if you are righthanded.. Try and write with your left. You can probably do it, but not as well. You can practise and improve, but your natural tenancy will always be to pick up the pen with your right hand? That's a good point. I suppose what I was thinking is that it wouldn't really be innate. It's more nurture rather than nature that determines whether someone is more dominant due to the way they live that causes that default. I'm inclined to think that being Dominant or submissive sexually at least is innate for many. I say that because of the people I've spent hours talking to, and the first hand accounts alive read. As well as my own experiences. When I encounter someone who I connect with at a deeper level, where I feel safe, submission just flows. If you think it's innate, then surely that's just another way of saying it's a natural behaviour There are different ways of understanding the term "naturally dominant". It is normally used by people as a straight swap for "alpha male" and the baggage that term brings rather than a swap for the phrase "innate dominance" which is (in my view) a more subtle term than "naturally ddominant". It is innate because if the right power exchange opportunity arises in D/S that person will take control. This then recognises people who switch by nature and sometimes sub and sometimes dom. It also recognises people who realise to take control later in life, so submissives that realise they prefer to dom, or people who never thought they would like to dom and find that they do like it. This may be due to a specific sub bringing the desire out of them. I hope that makes sense. It does make sense, thank you. I agree with that too. But I think if you look back in your life there will be clues. Maybe In your 20s and 30s you never even knew there was such thing as D/s dynamics and had fantasies or odd times you behaved a certain way and thought it was strange but then later in life discover something that gives you permission to behave in a way that feels perfectly normal, natural and effortless " Yes. Some clues for sure. Even in my teens. | |||
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