FabSwingers.com forum: Going into a pub alone

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How comfortable do you feel going into a pub on your own when meeting friends? Or do you wait outside for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In. Manchester pub? Easy. I’ll quickly chat to the barman and drop an icebreaker with a customer who’s nearby and I’ll feel welcomed.

Yesterday I stopped of to escape how busy town was, and it was warm enough to grab a quick drink alone. No issues doing this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Would you feel the same if you where female?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would have bothered me when I was younger. Not fussed now. I'll go in by myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends what kind of pub it is, how d*unk n rowdy the people in it are and if there's a good mix of groups, couples, etc...

I probably wouldn't go in a pub alone where there was a bunch of d*unk men...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do it but feel very awkward until I see the people I’m meeting. Take a deep breath as I walk inside.

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By *reen as JadeCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

Go in and wait. Sometimes you get some very strange people chatting to you x

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I go to the pub on my own all the time, but that's mostly because I have very few friends to go with.

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By *ay-89Woman
over a year ago

Norwich

Personally I think it would depend on the kind of pub and who I was meeting. I'm lucky to know many of the pubs in my area and I can walk in get a drink and feel welcomed. If however it was a sports bar on a game day.... no thanks. I'll meet them somewhere else.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

I happily walk into a pub if I am looking for someone I am due to meet. I have never walked in a pub for an evening/meal alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really depends on the pub. If it's somewhere I know even vaguely then I'm fine. I'll just wait at the bar or grab a table. If it's loud or packed and I've never been there before, I wait outside.

Pxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/08/22 10:03:40]

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Ill go in even if Im not meeting ppl.

Whats the issue?

None.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you feel the same if you where female? "

Me? Yes, in the situation yesterday.

But if I was waiting for friends, I’d go in on my own.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It would have bothered me when I was younger. Not fussed now. I'll go in by myself."

I agree, I think you become more confident when you get older.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate it..... always have done.

I will either pick up people en route or wait outside/in my car until they arrive.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I'm very comfortable,I'm a sociable person always seems to make new friends

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ill go in even if Im not meeting ppl.

Whats the issue?

None. "

Everyone is different, depends on your confidence.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"I hate it..... always have done.

I will either pick up people en route or wait outside/in my car until they arrive.

This is why I take a book, so that i dont feel quite as titish sitting on my todd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never would have done in the past. I’m a bit more care free now but if it’s full of men then probably not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ill go in even if Im not meeting ppl.

Whats the issue?

None. "

Risk of sexual assault. Less likely if you're with someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ill go in even if Im not meeting ppl.

Whats the issue?

None.

Risk of sexual assault. Less likely if you're with someone. "

The amount of times I've had my arse slapped makes me not want to go in a pub ever again.

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

"How comfortable do you feel going into a pub on your own when meeting friends? Or do you wait outside for them. "

I am happy going into pubs in my own. I may be a bit weird but I enjoy going into pubs and bars I have never been into on my own. I love the way people react when they realise I am … well let’s face it, a man in a dress!

To be fair though there are some pubs i would choose not to go into while I am Linda!

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Solo pub visit is usually fine. A busy bar on a Sat night can be a bit overwhelming if by yourself for too long.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I used to do this often, I quite like a quiet drink on my own.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've felt comfortable travelling around Europe on my own, so for me, going into a local pub is no different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a hugely confident sociable person so do tend to wait outside for friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More than happy to go alone.

Depends on the pub/ bar but happy to take a book/newspaper and watch the world go by

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

It really used to bother me when I was younger. Now I have no problem going into a pub alone, in fact doing anything!

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Go in, I don’t see the issue. Surely all these strong & independent women can order a drink and find a seat, or even stay standing?

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Used to not be able to do it. Had to get someone to meet me. Was a self conscious chap in my younger days.

Today I am much happier

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"Go in, I don’t see the issue. Surely all these strong & independent women can order a drink and find a seat, or even stay standing?"

What some people seem to be saying, is that they don't feel strong and independent or have had negative experiences in the past.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just suddenly find something really interesting on my phone while I'm waiting awkwardly.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I'm happy to go in alone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With age comes confidence so I have no problem doing it now. I couldn't do it say, twenty years ago x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people have social anxiety, some are more introverted than others, some don’t like the idea of possible attention if they stand out as being on their own, some don’t like the thought of potential sexual harassment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm off to the pub on my own tonight often drink alone

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I'll go in first and line up the drinks.

I've also done that on a social from here.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"Some people have social anxiety, some are more introverted than others, some don’t like the idea of possible attention if they stand out as being on their own, some don’t like the thought of potential sexual harassment."

Yes, I can see that. But wouldn’t that affect most aspects of their lives that involve social interaction or public places not just a pub?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Go in, I don’t see the issue. Surely all these strong & independent women can order a drink and find a seat, or even stay standing?"

You're not a woman I take it?

As a woman in a pub on my own I've almost always had a man chat to me. I didn't feel threatened as I'm sociable and can stop them if they are getting a little too friendly, but some people feel intimidated by it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I HATE going into pubs on my own. The way that people look at you and literally don’t stop looking at you. My anxiety cannot take it. Tbh I hate going to pubs except one where I know the staff. All the rest I avoid.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

Yes, I can see that. But wouldn’t that affect most aspects of their lives that involve social interaction or public places not just a pub?"

Pubs often involve alcohol consumption. Alcohol can make some people a little more sexually inappropriate and a little more persistent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do it all the time. Didnt do it until mid 20s and got fed up of not watching the footy with mates when they all settled down so started going for the sport. Works fine for me. For a woman i can understand it being more difficult

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"Go in, I don’t see the issue. Surely all these strong & independent women can order a drink and find a seat, or even stay standing?

You're not a woman I take it?

I am indeed a woman. I’ve also had men chat to me whilst in the pub, not always. It’s not a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last time I entered a pub on my own I strolled up to the bar, ordered my drink, noted the free table near to the front of a wall, settled myself in to wait for my mates... Then realised there was a match on and I'd just plonked myself underneath the telly the entire pub was looking at

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

If I'm meeting people I have no issue whatsoever.

I do think I should go for a pint on my own more often but rarely do.

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By *urvybifem36 and her manCouple
over a year ago

Blackpool

All the time. Both myself ( Male ) and my girlfriend often go for a drink alone in many of the great pubs and bars in the little town we live in. She'll sometimes go for a few wine's or gins after work or I'll have a few pints on my dog walk. Often get talking to regulars, staff or complete strangers although I'm just as happy sitting in the corner on my phone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no friends so if I go to a pub, I always go alone.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Last time I entered a pub on my own I strolled up to the bar, ordered my drink, noted the free table near to the front of a wall, settled myself in to wait for my mates... Then realised there was a match on and I'd just plonked myself underneath the telly the entire pub was looking at

"
Did you then do a Sharon stone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have no friends so if I go to a pub, I always go alone. "

Come to nocturnal again tonight. I think you’ll make some friends in there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you then do a Sharon stone? "

No, I was wearing a floor length dress, so it may have looked a bit odd if I'd hiked it up to my fanny line...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have no friends so if I go to a pub, I always go alone.

Come to nocturnal again tonight. I think you’ll make some friends in there

I can't keep up with such enthusiasm late on.

I'm old Steve!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would happily wait outside for hours rather than go in a pub by myself

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By *r WhispererMan
over a year ago

brynmawr

Everyone is different, myself I’ll walk in alone no problem.. girls I’ve met in the past, some will walk in but others feel uncomfortable and I’ve met them outside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have no friends so if I go to a pub, I always go alone.

Come to nocturnal again tonight. I think you’ll make some friends in there

I can't keep up with such enthusiasm late on.

I'm old Steve!!!!"

Everyone in this fucking place is ol…

*deep breath*

Haha I get you

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Did you then do a Sharon stone?

No, I was wearing a floor length dress, so it may have looked a bit odd if I'd hiked it up to my fanny line... "

Damn logistics.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I would happily wait outside for hours rather than go in a pub by myself

Why though?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m more comfortable going to a pub alone if it’s day time when it’s quieter or one that’s mainly food focused.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you then do a Sharon stone?

No, I was wearing a floor length dress, so it may have looked a bit odd if I'd hiked it up to my fanny line...

Damn logistics. "

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Very comfortable

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"How comfortable do you feel going into a pub on your own when meeting friends? Or do you wait outside for them. "

Straight in, always someone I know in there but happy on my own waiting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

feel very lucky in this situation ive never had issues, even if i am going it alone,

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

I go to pubs alone quite often. Normally to watch a band.

Get a drink, find a spot out of the way and talk to anyone that wants to.

I've been mistaken for a bouncer a few times though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll happily go into a pub alone, and not just to meet someone.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Go in, I don’t see the issue. Surely all these strong & independent women can order a drink and find a seat, or even stay standing?

You're not a woman I take it?

I am indeed a woman. I’ve also had men chat to me whilst in the pub, not always. It’s not a problem.

It's not a problem for me either and I wouldn't call myself a strong, independent woman. Pubs are generally men's turf and there will usually be more single men or groups of men in a pub.

A bar in a big town or city might be different and it will depend on the time of day and the pub.

My old local was full of men and I was one of a handful of women who went, but everyone knew everyone.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"I'll happily go into a pub alone, and not just to meet someone. "

Same here. I often go on holiday alone, so a pub visit is nothing.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

If I'm dying for a JD and Coke I'll go in alone and hog the bar.

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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

I often go into pubs alone for live music, no point waiting outside when you go out alone, although saying that it's a lot easier when you know the pub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Essex generally wait out side for them if meet off fab

Even waiting for friends wait outside to be honestc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/08/22 12:01:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite like it. Grabbing a spot and people watching is great and you truly switch off alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go to restaurants/pubs by myself quite often. So going in alone when waiting for friends is not a big deal

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I think I would go alone, grab myself a drink and wait inside, not a problem for me at all.

But hen I don’t go to the pubs so it’s only hypothetical.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

No problem at all. I go away on my own sometimes. Love it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

To be fair though there are some pubs i would choose not to go into while I am Linda!

Yes, I agree, although you do look particularly good and feminine compared to many! I have found nearly everyone very kind and friendly when they realise what I am, if there is any reaction at all. I normally go to a gay pub in Oxford on my own which is really welcoming and extraordinarily friendly (in a good way) but also go to a local pub with my wife and it has been great. I do dress as a woman nearly all the time except for work (so far) so I feel entirely natural and comfortable now; I actually feel awkward and uncomfortable if I have to dress up as a man.

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By *addy bareMan
over a year ago

lakeside

I think most females find it awkward, unless your a bit of a gezzerbird,it's ok for us men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate it..... always have done.

I will either pick up people en route or wait outside/in my car until they arrive.

This is why I take a book, so that i dont feel quite as titish sitting on my todd"

The Jolly Farmers in Oxford has quite a large and wide range of books so if I am not chatting to people I know (often the staff) or meeting new people I usually read a book as I have a glass of wine or two; I probably look quite the old spinster sitting there in my reading glasses!

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By *errocaWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

"How comfortable do you feel going into a pub on your own when meeting friends? Or do you wait outside for them. "

Easy..love going to the pub alone.. Great way to chat and meet new people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knowing the pub helps the layout etc if unsure usually meet outside in beer garden I think you would turn heads wherever you met x

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

It makes me uncomfortable so will meet outside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose unsurprisingly the Jolly Farmers in Oxford where I have become part of the weekend furniture being a gay pub but not exclusively or ostentatiously so (it is very old and a traditional pub in appearance, more like a country pub in atmosphere in some ways), attracts quite a lot of 'straight' young women, usually in pairs or groups, presumably as they feel safe from unwanted male attention and rowdy behaviour and can relax there. There are also a surprising number of heterosexual couples and men and mixed groups there, perhaps because of the same reasons or just because it is a really nice little old pub.

Are there other gay pubs like this elsewhere that women, especially young women, feel safe and at home in, or is it unusual?

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By *hellebelleWoman
over a year ago

ashford

I live in a Very tiny village and about a 3 minute walk from two pubs…they are both next door to each other .. but I just don’t feel comfy going in there by myself.

When weather permits I may stop and sit out the front when walking the dog, granted he can’t talk but I’m not alone.… but on any other time I won’t use on my own.

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

I would be fine going to a pub on my own. S

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Would you feel the same if you where female? "

Why is gender an issue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you feel the same if you where female? "

Ah was this aimed towards the ladies?

Mrs is comfortable and very confident to go anywhere alone.

If it wasn't for her, we wouldn't have met

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By *ally_be_coolWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I'd go straight in, but I feel comfortable in that sort of environment. I ran a fairly rough pub from the age of 19/20 and now I run a construction site, but not every lone female is going to be happy with that. I think it's fine if you prefer to wait outside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you feel the same if you where female?

Why is gender an issue?

I assume that's because it's a woman asking, from her point of view, as a woman.

And that's perfectly fine.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

I walked into an East End pub in Mile End which was tucked away and frequented by locals only. I stuck out like a sore thumb when I walked in and everybody looked at me. One of the old boys at the bar took my pint by mistake and refused to believe he was wrong. Luckily the barman poured me a fresh pint. I went to the urinals and chatted with a bloke and he joked he thought I was the old bill. I went to that pub again

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"How comfortable do you feel going into a pub on your own when meeting friends? Or do you wait outside for them. "

Not at all, never get there before someone else

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

When I used to attend pub gigs years ago on a regular basis, I used to wait for a group to go in and tag just behind. Friends or not!

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Ill go in even if Im not meeting ppl.

Whats the issue?

None. "

Absolutely!

I have travelled a lot on my own for both work and pleasure so I'm pretty self-sufficient. Walking into pubs/bars on my own has never been an issue for me.

If I'm meeting friends I feel better waiting inside than I do hanging around outside.

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

"In. Manchester pub? Easy. I’ll quickly chat to the barman and drop an icebreaker with a customer who’s nearby and I’ll feel welcomed.

Yesterday I stopped of to escape how busy town was, and it was warm enough to grab a quick drink alone. No issues doing this.

I never had a problem, the only pub I found difficult was Moon under the water. As there was no music and I would hear laughter and depending on my state of mind I would get self conscious. Not such a big issue now but that was back in my Uni days.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'd love someone to go to the pub with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll happily sit at the bar alone with a pint of Guiness watching the football

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a problem at all.

I've worked in pubs so they're like my second home.

Before I worked in pubs was a different story.

I was always taught that women don't go into pubs on their own. My parents were very old fashioned with things like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends what the type of pub is.

If it's a country pub, yes.

If it's more of a venue with a bar, no problem either.

If it's a pub that's located in a district on the outskirts of a city like liverpool or glasgow, one of those old school ones with tiles on the outside of the building, then.. no chance..

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Not a problem.

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By *orthwhile27Man
over a year ago

dark side of the moon

I work away a lot and often go for a few bevies. No problem here.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I’m happy on my own.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's amazing how it's never even crossed my mind to be a problem.

Jesus, going in on my own for a few doesn't even register as worrisome.

Not sure if that's a result of my gender, size or alcoholic tendencies lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To watch footy mostly. Would go more often if more food options were available.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah like others on here, it's not something I think about. I just walk in regardless like I would if it were Tesco. I find it odd that it's a thing that people don't like to do it. Although I am mildly autistic and find it difficult to place myself in other people's shoes sometimes.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I struggle with this badly.

I went to a mates birthday a few years back, everyone met up in his local. It took me three or four attempts to go in, my anxiety was getting to me.

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

you could have come in with me x

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By *0tt0nSu3Woman
over a year ago

London

I'm happy to go in a pub on my own.

If you want to ensure you don't get chatted up or approached is make sure you buy two drinks. One for yourself and for another person.

It gives the impression that another person is coming and you'll have company.

A pint of lager plonked opposite you usually does the trick. You won't be approached, and if you do you can point to the drink and indicate your mate is coming.

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By *r lotharioMan
over a year ago

playa del ingles

not a problem for me, but then i'm male. very choosy about the pub though. prefer one with no telly that can still have the ancient art of conversation. and one that serves a decent pint. quite happy up a corner with my own company....in fact the way it'll be for my birthday tomorrow lol

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"not a problem for me, but then i'm male. very choosy about the pub though. prefer one with no telly that can still have the ancient art of conversation. and one that serves a decent pint. quite happy up a corner with my own company....in fact the way it'll be for my birthday tomorrow lol"

Aw happy birthday for tomorrow..only haf an hour to wait

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"How comfortable do you feel going into a pub on your own when meeting friends? Or do you wait outside for them. "

I don’t think twice about going in by myself, it’s just a pub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How comfortable do you feel going into a pub on your own when meeting friends? Or do you wait outside for them. "

I was away on business last month and had a pint on my own. I felt comfortable enough but I still felt a little odd on my own.. I suspect it’s worse for women, although of course it shouldn’t be.

I’d love to meet the op in a pub and share our experiences

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

I always go to the pub on my own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Done it many time.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I think most of the time, as I walk in folk look and think he's got some balls coming in here, then realizes I'm still walking in. seriously he does so someone decides to say hi, you alright

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go on a pub on my own if I want a drink. Meeting friends or not!

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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

I wouldn’t where I live but I go for solo weekends away and it doesn’t bother me so much

If a bar is busy I say to the staff when I’m buying a drink that I’m alone and could they step in if they see someone bothering me. They’ve always been fine with that.

I make sure I have my book and phone with me - it’s easy to stare down at something and ignore someone if you need to

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By *ovelaughliveCouple
over a year ago

Oldham

Definitely wait outside! X

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By *aughtyAlex2021Woman
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

Last time I was by myself in a pub which was busy, I was eating. One guy directly looking at me and then another tried to chat me up. I don't tend to go by myself but I would if its for lunch or something.

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By *owerbridgegirlCouple
over a year ago

london

I've been by myself before if there's a table or space inside somewhere I would wait no issue or I would wait outside if it was really busy

I can do either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading the comments, it's quite clearly a very different experience for women than it is for men. I like to think that I'm respectful and I wouldn't bother someone if they were on their own, especially a woman. I forget though, some men are proper letchs and some d*unk men are even bigger letchs. I didn't really think about it initially as it doesn't effect me, it's completely understandable now why some people would be uncomfortable going in by themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No issues, I’m quite happy to stroll in on my lonesome.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Think you'll find most guys arent fazed by going into a pub alone , however i reckon its different for ladies as i think most will find it a bit intimidating

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door

I uses to go to the pub alone, a drink while shopping or lunch. I haven't done this since before covid now.

I'm happy to meet my friends inside, most prefer to wait outside until a few more turn up

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

Its rare I'm nervous about going into a pub alone unless it has a bad reputation for bar fights.

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

Nope been in too many where silence descends and every one stares

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going right now for the football

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By *eavy-Metal-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

I always go inside as I ether have a book on me that I read waiting for them to text me there near or when it me and mt gf and waiting for friends to turn up we all decide go to a pub that serves food so me and my gf we get say our lunch or dinner while waiting for friends to turn up as some live across the Mersey in the Wirral or others are waiting on a babysitter to turn up.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

I’m better now at going to the pub on my own to watch football or just soak up a new environment

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