FabSwingers.com forum: Dane Cook

By *heNerdyFemby OP Woman
over a year ago

Eastbourne (she/they)

Dane Cook (50) got engaged to long term girlfriend Kelsi Taylor (23) after 5 years of dating.

Pause for basic maths.

Am I the only one who finds this a little uncomfortable?

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Adults making their own decisions?

What don’t you like about it?

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By *uddy laneMan
over a year ago

dudley

"Dane Cook (50) got engaged to long term girlfriend Kelsi Taylor (23) after 5 years of dating.

Pause for basic maths.

Am I the only one who finds this a little uncomfortable?"

The great Metallica song... so fucking what comes to mind here.

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By *hilledGuyClactonMan
over a year ago

Little clacton

"Dane Cook (50) got engaged to long term girlfriend Kelsi Taylor (23) after 5 years of dating.

Pause for basic maths.

Am I the only one who finds this a little uncomfortable?

The great Metallica song... so fucking what comes to mind here.

Anti nowhere league

Metallica ruined it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She’s of legal age…..what’s the issue?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No you're not the only one. I can't express an informed opinion obviously but if it was my son or daughter I'd have concerns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since I’m 41 and my eldest is 20 it sits uncomfortably with me! I would never date someone younger than my son!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No you're not the only one. I can't express an informed opinion obviously but if it was my son or daughter I'd have concerns. "

Ditto!

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Young attractive women like dating funny rich powerful older men

Someone tell the papers!

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Since I’m 41 and my eldest is 20 it sits uncomfortably with me! I would never date someone younger than my son!

Lucky for you that im older than your son!! Pucker up - incoming!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a bit weird and depending on what state they’re in it might even be illegal but by British law they haven’t done anything wrong.

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By *uddy laneMan
over a year ago

dudley

"Dane Cook (50) got engaged to long term girlfriend Kelsi Taylor (23) after 5 years of dating.

Pause for basic maths.

Am I the only one who finds this a little uncomfortable?

The great Metallica song... so fucking what comes to mind here.

Anti nowhere league

Metallica ruined it

I'm a metal head the Metallica version for me.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Dane Cook (50) got engaged to long term girlfriend Kelsi Taylor (23) after 5 years of dating.

Pause for basic maths.

Am I the only one who finds this a little uncomfortable?"

I think that while it's a big age gap, I wouldn't judge a 23 year old being in a relationship with a 50 year old.

But I think a 45 year old and an 18 year old would possibly have raised my eyebrows. But it's obviously worked for them so no judgement here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No adults what's wrong

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

Comments on say Madonna and age gaps of boyfriends ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a 20 year age gap and neither us or our friends find it at all strange

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

She would have been 18 when they first got together? That's legal? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let em bum shes not a teen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is unusual but not surprising.

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By *oroRick1027Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Was chatting to a 26 yr old yesterday who's husband is 63 and they have a 7 yr old daughter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No because she would have been 18.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

You're probably not the only one.

But it's their lives, they're legally adults and have been throughout the 5 year relationship, and it's been 5 years. I say congratulations and I hope they make it.

Also, I feel completely out of touch as I have no idea who these people are.

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Shocking that an older man is engaged to a younger person absolutely shocking on the other hand they may love each other And don’t see the age difference as a problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This being uncomfortable is based on the idea that he is somehow taking advantage of her which suggests a belief she isn't capable of knowing her own mind which in turn is (to my mind) sexist.

5 years ago he was 45 and she was 18. Sure it's a big age gap and I'm quite certain they had any number of judgemental people tell them this. 5 years on they're together and getting married. Unless there is any indication of abuse I don't see what the problem is. I wonder how many people commenting about it have maintained a stable relationship for 5 years with someone who they then decided to marry? 5 years is a reasonable length of time to prove that a relationship isn't just some fling.

Obviously there are considerations, he'll be old long before her and it may never last but (again on the proviso there's no abuse - and that goes both ways) why not let them be happy with each other for a long as they choose to be? Far too many people seem to believe that what they do or don't like/feel comfortable with should apply to everyone else and any failure to meet this standard renders a person suitable for gossip and not so subtle hints of inappropriate behavoir.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"This being uncomfortable is based on the idea that he is somehow taking advantage of her which suggests a belief she isn't capable of knowing her own mind which in turn is (to my mind) sexist.

Mr"

Exactly!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"You're probably not the only one.

But it's their lives, they're legally adults and have been throughout the 5 year relationship, and it's been 5 years. I say congratulations and I hope they make it.

Also, I feel completely out of touch as I have no idea who these people are."

I don't know who they are either

If when she was 18 our daughter had brought a 45 year old man home we would have welcomed him as we did all her boyfriends. We would still have been concerned though.

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By *heNerdyFemby OP Woman
over a year ago

Eastbourne (she/they)

"This being uncomfortable is based on the idea that he is somehow taking advantage of her which suggests a belief she isn't capable of knowing her own mind which in turn is (to my mind) sexist."

Your post implies that you think people would only be uncomfortable when it is an older man with a younger woman.

Whereas I would argue that the same level of discomfort would arise regardless of the gender of either of the participants. That is at least true in my case.

Just so happens this is the format in the news today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're probably not the only one.

But it's their lives, they're legally adults and have been throughout the 5 year relationship, and it's been 5 years. I say congratulations and I hope they make it.

Also, I feel completely out of touch as I have no idea who these people are.

I don't know who they are either

If when she was 18 our daughter had brought a 45 year old man home we would have welcomed him as we did all her boyfriends. We would still have been concerned though. "

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

"You're probably not the only one.

But it's their lives, they're legally adults and have been throughout the 5 year relationship, and it's been 5 years. I say congratulations and I hope they make it.

Also, I feel completely out of touch as I have no idea who these people are.

I don't know who they are either

If when she was 18 our daughter had brought a 45 year old man home we would have welcomed him as we did all her boyfriends. We would still have been concerned though. "
what would be your concerns? The reason I ask is the mother of my two children is 7 years older than me and we had our first child when I was 21 my parents where happy that I was happy and had no concerns whatsoever in fact my mam got on fantastic with her and still does today

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I can't help feeling uncomfortable about certain situations. It stems from various things some of which are undoubtedly my own prejudices bit I won't pretend not to feel discomfort for the sake of appearing open minded. I most certainly wouldn't make my discomfort known other than in general discussion

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

"I can't help feeling uncomfortable about certain situations. It stems from various things some of which are undoubtedly my own prejudices bit I won't pretend not to feel discomfort for the sake of appearing open minded. I most certainly wouldn't make my discomfort known other than in general discussion

If our son or daughter wanted to become engaged to someone much older we'd be concerned but we we would welcome their partner and be happy for them both. We were extremely uncomfortable with the some of the partner choices both of them previously made. "
I think as parents we can see through a lot of things where as our kids can’t and we can see that someone isn’t probably good for them unfortunately we have to sit back and let them find out for themselves

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"You're probably not the only one.

But it's their lives, they're legally adults and have been throughout the 5 year relationship, and it's been 5 years. I say congratulations and I hope they make it.

Also, I feel completely out of touch as I have no idea who these people are.

I don't know who they are either

If when she was 18 our daughter had brought a 45 year old man home we would have welcomed him as we did all her boyfriends. We would still have been concerned though. what would be your concerns? The reason I ask is the mother of my two children is 7 years older than me and we had our first child when I was 21 my parents where happy that I was happy and had no concerns whatsoever in fact my mam got on fantastic with her and still does today "

The age gap would bring specific problems, their life experiences and cultural references would be wildly different, there would be a strong at 60 she would have an 87 year old husband etc. I know any relationship has problems specific to it but I won't pretend that a large age gap wouldn't worry me. It doesn't mean I believe they'd be unhappy or it wouldn't work.

There was a 7 year age gap with my parents it's not quite the same as 27 years.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If our son or daughter wanted to become engaged to someone much older we'd be concerned but we we would welcome their partner and be happy for them both. We were extremely uncomfortable with the some of the partner choices both of them previously made. I think as parents we can see through a lot of things where as our kids can’t and we can see that someone isn’t probably good for them unfortunately we have to sit back and let them find out for themselves "

Yes we do. That's what we did with our son when he was involved with a much older woman who had children a similar age to him. We welcomed her, never once expressed a concern and were happy that he was happy. Then we helped him pick up the pieces when it finished.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"You're probably not the only one.

But it's their lives, they're legally adults and have been throughout the 5 year relationship, and it's been 5 years. I say congratulations and I hope they make it.

Also, I feel completely out of touch as I have no idea who these people are.

I don't know who they are either

If when she was 18 our daughter had brought a 45 year old man home we would have welcomed him as we did all her boyfriends. We would still have been concerned though. "

Makes complete sense. Because you're her parents. However, 5 years on, you would (hopefully) have less concerns, because they'd been together for that length of time.

But as a total stranger, I don't see it as my place to be concerned, particularly, about the relationship, and certainly not 5 years down the line. That's more my point I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the whole situation unsavoury more for the fact that they met prior to her turning 18 and that they were ‘just friends’ for a while and suddenly seen dating not long after she turned 18. It gives me the ick and I won’t apologise for it!

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Adults making their own decisions?

What don’t you like about it? "

What he said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??"

Or the gap between Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Or the gap between Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas. "

Both of those weren’t barely legal when they started dating though, I don’t think the OP is saying age gap relationships are bad but there’s a massive difference between a decades long age gap at 30+ and one at 18! So that’s false equivalency at its finest!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Or the gap between Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas.

18 isn't barely legal either. It is 2 years above the legal age of consent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Or the gap between Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas.

18 isn't barely legal either. It is 2 years above the legal age of consent. "

In the UK! They’re from California where the legal age is 18!

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

[Removed by poster at 03/08/22 17:03:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Or the gap between Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas.

18 isn't barely legal either. It is 2 years above the legal age of consent.

In the UK! They’re from California where the legal age is 18!"

Even so! It is legal and they are doing nothing wrong so the rest of us shouldn't really have an opinion unless we are affected directly. Not sure why you felt the need to say barely legal to be honest.

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Or the gap between Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas.

18 isn't barely legal either. It is 2 years above the legal age of consent.

In the UK! They’re from California where the legal age is 18!"

Not interested in your discomfort but interested in the OP’s

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Huge age gaps between men and women have been a thing for centuries. As long as it is legal and nobody is being coerced and there is no abuse I really don't see what there is to feel uncomfortable about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's America. They were probably dating MUCH longer than 5 years!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Teen girl dating celebrity comedian who is worth approx $35 million. Nothing weird about that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"You're probably not the only one.

But it's their lives, they're legally adults and have been throughout the 5 year relationship, and it's been 5 years. I say congratulations and I hope they make it.

Also, I feel completely out of touch as I have no idea who these people are.

I don't know who they are either

If when she was 18 our daughter had brought a 45 year old man home we would have welcomed him as we did all her boyfriends. We would still have been concerned though.

Makes complete sense. Because you're her parents. However, 5 years on, you would (hopefully) have less concerns, because they'd been together for that length of time.

But as a total stranger, I don't see it as my place to be concerned, particularly, about the relationship, and certainly not 5 years down the line. That's more my point I think."

I'm not concerned either

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By *heNerdyFemby OP Woman
over a year ago

Eastbourne (she/they)

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??"

Not looking for "informed judgment" on my discomfort thanks. That's why I didn't ask for it.

I find it interesting how many people didn't answer the question, but answered entirely different question that was never asked. I also found how they answered that other question interesting too.

Thank you to those who did answer though!

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Not looking for "informed judgment" on my discomfort thanks. That's why I didn't ask for it.

I find it interesting how many people didn't answer the question, but answered entirely different question that was never asked. I also found how they answered that other question interesting too.

Thank you to those who did answer though!"

So what do you find uncomfortable…

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By *heNerdyFemby OP Woman
over a year ago

Eastbourne (she/they)

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Not looking for "informed judgment" on my discomfort thanks. That's why I didn't ask for it.

I find it interesting how many people didn't answer the question, but answered entirely different question that was never asked. I also found how they answered that other question interesting too.

Thank you to those who did answer though!

So what do you find uncomfortable…

I have absolutely no interest in sharing that with you. I don't need any validation or feedback on my feelings. Sorry if I wasn't clear before.

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Not looking for "informed judgment" on my discomfort thanks. That's why I didn't ask for it.

I find it interesting how many people didn't answer the question, but answered entirely different question that was never asked. I also found how they answered that other question interesting too.

Thank you to those who did answer though!

So what do you find uncomfortable…

I have absolutely no interest in sharing that with you. I don't need any validation or feedback on my feelings. Sorry if I wasn't clear before."

I’m not the only one who asked..

Surely it will highlight a prejudice you must have about the situation..

Who’d have thought it The champion of all things she agrees with with regard to personal freedoms..

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t find it uncomfortable as I don’t know them therefore I’m not really that bothered.

Should my daughter come home with someone her dad’s age I can’t imagine I’d be over the moon about it to be perfectly honest but like I say about most things in life, until it happens you can’t be certain how you’d react.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I kinda let people do what they want to do and tend not to pass judgement, if it isn’t illegal, it’s none of my businesses. Same as when I see a smoker with a cough, an overweight person eating an abundance of cakes or someone selling themselves short to echo a crowd.

Adults have a right to do what they choose, within the confines of the law, my opinion is inconsequential against their free will.

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By *heNerdyFemby OP Woman
over a year ago

Eastbourne (she/they)

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Not looking for "informed judgment" on my discomfort thanks. That's why I didn't ask for it.

I find it interesting how many people didn't answer the question, but answered entirely different question that was never asked. I also found how they answered that other question interesting too.

Thank you to those who did answer though!

So what do you find uncomfortable…

I have absolutely no interest in sharing that with you. I don't need any validation or feedback on my feelings. Sorry if I wasn't clear before.

I’m not the only one who asked..

Surely it will highlight a prejudice you must have about the situation..

Who’d have thought it The champion of all things she agrees with with regard to personal freedoms.."

One of those personal freedoms is the right to privacy. IE the right not to answer personal invasive questions.

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Not looking for "informed judgment" on my discomfort thanks. That's why I didn't ask for it.

I find it interesting how many people didn't answer the question, but answered entirely different question that was never asked. I also found how they answered that other question interesting too.

Thank you to those who did answer though!

So what do you find uncomfortable…

I have absolutely no interest in sharing that with you. I don't need any validation or feedback on my feelings. Sorry if I wasn't clear before.

I’m not the only one who asked..

Surely it will highlight a prejudice you must have about the situation..

Who’d have thought it The champion of all things she agrees with with regard to personal freedoms..

One of those personal freedoms is the right to privacy. IE the right not to answer personal invasive questions.

I shall remember that when you demand answers constantly from people in the future.

Pathetic…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Not looking for "informed judgment" on my discomfort thanks. That's why I didn't ask for it.

I find it interesting how many people didn't answer the question, but answered entirely different question that was never asked. I also found how they answered that other question interesting too.

Thank you to those who did answer though!

So what do you find uncomfortable…

I have absolutely no interest in sharing that with you. I don't need any validation or feedback on my feelings. Sorry if I wasn't clear before.

I’m not the only one who asked..

Surely it will highlight a prejudice you must have about the situation..

Who’d have thought it The champion of all things she agrees with with regard to personal freedoms..

One of those personal freedoms is the right to privacy. IE the right not to answer personal invasive questions.

I shall remember that when you demand answers constantly from people in the future.

Pathetic…"

I wouldn't have used the word pathetic but I completely agree with what you have said above.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Not looking for "informed judgment" on my discomfort thanks. That's why I didn't ask for it.

I find it interesting how many people didn't answer the question, but answered entirely different question that was never asked. I also found how they answered that other question interesting too.

Thank you to those who did answer though!

So what do you find uncomfortable…

I have absolutely no interest in sharing that with you. I don't need any validation or feedback on my feelings. Sorry if I wasn't clear before.

I’m not the only one who asked..

Surely it will highlight a prejudice you must have about the situation..

Who’d have thought it The champion of all things she agrees with with regard to personal freedoms..

One of those personal freedoms is the right to privacy. IE the right not to answer personal invasive questions.

I shall remember that when you demand answers constantly from people in the future.

Pathetic…

I wouldn't have used the word pathetic but I completely agree with what you have said above."

Me too. Apart from that word

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By *heNerdyFemby OP Woman
over a year ago

Eastbourne (she/they)

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Not looking for "informed judgment" on my discomfort thanks. That's why I didn't ask for it.

I find it interesting how many people didn't answer the question, but answered entirely different question that was never asked. I also found how they answered that other question interesting too.

Thank you to those who did answer though!

So what do you find uncomfortable…

I have absolutely no interest in sharing that with you. I don't need any validation or feedback on my feelings. Sorry if I wasn't clear before.

I’m not the only one who asked..

Surely it will highlight a prejudice you must have about the situation..

Who’d have thought it The champion of all things she agrees with with regard to personal freedoms..

One of those personal freedoms is the right to privacy. IE the right not to answer personal invasive questions.

I shall remember that when you demand answers constantly from people in the future.

Pathetic…"

Show me where I have "demanded" a "personal" answer... I will wait

I argue in the general the vast majority of the time for a reason. I may ask, but I don't demand. Very different things.

The fact you won't respect someone clearly setting a boundary is really quite worrisome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If two people are happy together then that can only be a good thing

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Not looking for "informed judgment" on my discomfort thanks. That's why I didn't ask for it.

I find it interesting how many people didn't answer the question, but answered entirely different question that was never asked. I also found how they answered that other question interesting too.

Thank you to those who did answer though!

So what do you find uncomfortable…

I have absolutely no interest in sharing that with you. I don't need any validation or feedback on my feelings. Sorry if I wasn't clear before.

I’m not the only one who asked..

Surely it will highlight a prejudice you must have about the situation..

Who’d have thought it The champion of all things she agrees with with regard to personal freedoms..

One of those personal freedoms is the right to privacy. IE the right not to answer personal invasive questions.

I shall remember that when you demand answers constantly from people in the future.

Pathetic…

Show me where I have "demanded" a "personal" answer... I will wait

I argue in the general the vast majority of the time for a reason. I may ask, but I don't demand. Very different things.

The fact you won't respect someone clearly setting a boundary is really quite worrisome."

I refer you to my previous answer…

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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago

Bucks/London/Oxford

"Dane Cook (50) got engaged to long term girlfriend Kelsi Taylor (23) after 5 years of dating.

Pause for basic maths.

Am I the only one who finds this a little uncomfortable?"

Never heard of either of them, should I have done? Both adults and nothing to do with me.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"What are you “ uncomfortable” about OP

Then we can make an informed judgement on your discomfort.

Are you equally as uncomfortable with Corbyn’s 20 year age gap to his latest wife..??

Not looking for "informed judgment" on my discomfort thanks. That's why I didn't ask for it.

I find it interesting how many people didn't answer the question, but answered entirely different question that was never asked. I also found how they answered that other question interesting too.

Thank you to those who did answer though!

So what do you find uncomfortable…

I have absolutely no interest in sharing that with you. I don't need any validation or feedback on my feelings. Sorry if I wasn't clear before.

I’m not the only one who asked..

Surely it will highlight a prejudice you must have about the situation..

Who’d have thought it The champion of all things she agrees with with regard to personal freedoms..

One of those personal freedoms is the right to privacy. IE the right not to answer personal invasive questions.

I shall remember that when you demand answers constantly from people in the future.

Pathetic…

I wouldn't have used the word pathetic but I completely agree with what you have said above.

Me too. Apart from that word "

Me three.

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By *ntriguedcouple7Couple
over a year ago

Surrey

As a person who was groomed by an older man when I was a teenager and was stuck in that controlling and manipulative "relationship" for years, yes it makes me uncomfortable.

There is a difference between fully formed, established adults meeting on an even footing and forming a relationship with an age gap and older men (or women but this is significantly less common) getting into relationships with teenagers. So many people in this thread just dismissing power dynamics.

I'm sure he's told her she's very mature for her age.

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By *heNerdyFemby OP Woman
over a year ago

Eastbourne (she/they)

"As a person who was groomed by an older man when I was a teenager and was stuck in that controlling and manipulative "relationship" for years, yes it makes me uncomfortable.

I'm sure he's told her she's very mature for her age. "

So sorry that happened to you. It is my sincerest hope that you have managed to heal as much as is possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a person who was groomed by an older man when I was a teenager and was stuck in that controlling and manipulative "relationship" for years, yes it makes me uncomfortable.

I'm sure he's told her she's very mature for her age. "

I'm sorry that happened to you but that doesn't mean that is everyone's experience when they are in this situation.

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By *heNerdyFemby OP Woman
over a year ago

Eastbourne (she/they)

"As a person who was groomed by an older man when I was a teenager and was stuck in that controlling and manipulative "relationship" for years, yes it makes me uncomfortable.

I'm sure he's told her she's very mature for her age.

I'm sorry that happened to you but that doesn't mean that is everyone's experience when they are in this situation. "

No-one is claiming it is though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/08/22 23:41:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of talk on Twitter (I know I know) that they met when she was 15 but didn't "date" until they were 18.

All very creepy, big no no from me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they are happy and its legal, I wish them all the best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of talk on Twitter (I know I know) that they met when she was 15 but didn't "date" until they were 18.

All very creepy, big no no from me. "

That is literally speculation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ffs, I thought this was relevant to nordic chefs, not some has been

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

It's all a bed of roses until he asks her to sign the pre-nup

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By *heNerdyFemby OP Woman
over a year ago

Eastbourne (she/they)

"Ffs, I thought this was relevant to nordic chefs, not some has been

Someone else made another thread after this with the exact same name... that IS about that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of talk on Twitter (I know I know) that they met when she was 15 but didn't "date" until they were 18.

All very creepy, big no no from me.

That is literally speculation. "

I forgot to add rumoured when adding a second time, although I think citing Twitter makes that clear.

As a near 40 year old guy, I don't know where I go where 18 year old would also hang out. So either way, creepy to me.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Lots of talk on Twitter (I know I know) that they met when she was 15 but didn't "date" until they were 18.

All very creepy, big no no from me.

That is literally speculation.

I forgot to add rumoured when adding a second time, although I think citing Twitter makes that clear.

As a near 40 year old guy, I don't know where I go where 18 year old would also hang out. So either way, creepy to me. "

The pub. A coffee shop. A gig. The supermarket. The cinema. Literally shit loads of places.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Dane Cook (50) got engaged to long term girlfriend Kelsi Taylor (23) after 5 years of dating.

Pause for basic maths.

Am I the only one who finds this a little uncomfortable?"

Each to their own. However, in a few years, she will still be able to party hard and probably want to. He won't be able to and probably won't want to.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Since I’m 41 and my eldest is 20 it sits uncomfortably with me! I would never date someone younger than my son!

It's the same for me. I couldn't date or shag somebody young enough to be my daughter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of talk on Twitter (I know I know) that they met when she was 15 but didn't "date" until they were 18.

All very creepy, big no no from me.

That is literally speculation.

I forgot to add rumoured when adding a second time, although I think citing Twitter makes that clear.

As a near 40 year old guy, I don't know where I go where 18 year old would also hang out. So either way, creepy to me. "

Seriously! I'm 40 next year and I plan on still going to pubs, on holiday, To work, And my hobbies and a lot of those have people that are as young as 18.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Lots of talk on Twitter (I know I know) that they met when she was 15 but didn't "date" until they were 18.

All very creepy, big no no from me.

That is literally speculation.

I forgot to add rumoured when adding a second time, although I think citing Twitter makes that clear.

As a near 40 year old guy, I don't know where I go where 18 year old would also hang out. So either way, creepy to me.

Seriously! I'm 40 next year and I plan on still going to pubs, on holiday, To work, And my hobbies and a lot of those have people that are as young as 18. "

I was in the local student union on Friday night. I had food and a drink in the bar then went to watch my son's band play in the music venue upstairs (which is freely open to the public). People across the age range rub shoulders at a whole host of venues. I was nowhere near the oldest in the SU either!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a person who was groomed by an older man when I was a teenager and was stuck in that controlling and manipulative "relationship" for years, yes it makes me uncomfortable.

I'm sure he's told her she's very mature for her age.

I'm sorry that happened to you but that doesn't mean that is everyone's experience when they are in this situation.

No-one is claiming it is though."

Well, the "so many people dismissing power dynamics" and the "I'm sure he's..." suggests that this particular person is judging this relationship exclusively by her own experiences.

FWIW, I think I was quite clear that my not having a problem was subject to there not being any abuse. Also, why is no one questioning her motives? There is just as much likelihood that she is manipulating him to get at his money but, as is so often the case, it is being assumed by everyone who has an issue that if there is a victim here it can only be the woman. Surely I'm not the only one who is fed up with women constantly being portrayed as victims? I really don't think it is healthy. It totally ignores the fact that half of all reported domestic abuse victims are male - and this figure doesn't take into account the fact men are more than twice a likely as women not to report abuse. It also helps maintain a stereotype that women are weak and incapable of looking after themselves, it makes it easier for abuse to continue because the victims are not only told by their abusers that they are incapable of doing anything but by a large proportion of society too. It is also an ongoing repression of a woman's right to do what she wants when she wants and with whom she wants because it teaches girls from a young age that unless they have a 'good' man to protect them they are at risk in everything they do.

I have lived through an abusive relationship with a narcistic woman (and this isn't just my opinion, she's since been shown to be such and convicted and sent to prison). My best mate went through a year and a half of hell with an outright psycho and in that case the abuse was physical as well as mental. Neither of us reported the situation, my mate didn't even press charges when offered the chance by police who she had called accusing him of r@pe - a crime they knew clearly didn't happen while he had locked himself in a room with the door half smashed in by her and him with bruises and cuts. Women are not all cute, demure little nuturers helpless in the face of male aggression and control and the sooner we stop peddling this nonsense the sooner we will have the fair and equitable society that feminism was supposed to be fighting for.

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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

When I was 27 I met a guy who was 45. We ended up getting married and we’re together for 20 years.

Both consenting adults I don’t see what the issue is.

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By *heNerdyFemby OP Woman
over a year ago

Eastbourne (she/they)

"Well, the "so many people dismissing power dynamics" and the "I'm sure he's..." suggests that this particular person is judging this relationship exclusively by her own experiences."

Even if it reaches the level by which you claim with your words, that is still not a claim that it is true for everyone.

"Also, why is no one questioning her motives?"

The 8th reply did exactly this. And others.

"it is being assumed by everyone who has an issue that if there is a victim here it can only be the woman. "

Multiple people including myself have said that regardless of the gender of both the younger and the older person, it would be the same response.

I feel for anyone who has lived through an abusive relationship, it shouldn't happen to anyone. The idea in safeguarding is that you treat a problem as if anyone can be guilty (in theory), that way you don't focus on one group and make it easier to not see it in another. The same applies here. If your focusing on one side, your not being wary of the other. No matter how good a reason you have for looking where you are.

It isn't men and it isnt women who are the culprits, it is people.

I hope you have had the chance to heal from any trauma you were left with and my sincerest wish you never experience it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of talk on Twitter (I know I know) that they met when she was 15 but didn't "date" until they were 18.

All very creepy, big no no from me.

That is literally speculation.

I forgot to add rumoured when adding a second time, although I think citing Twitter makes that clear.

As a near 40 year old guy, I don't know where I go where 18 year old would also hang out. So either way, creepy to me.

Seriously! I'm 40 next year and I plan on still going to pubs, on holiday, To work, And my hobbies and a lot of those have people that are as young as 18. "

I don't drink so only really eat on pubs with friends at tables rather than mixing in a bar type setting.

I don't have anyone under 30 in my team at work, I also work from home so don't have that issue.

Holidays, I try to take myself off to local places and or sightseeing which I think helps me miss the majority of young people. I have never been on a package holiday in my life though, usually cities breaks with friends/family.

My hobbies are all old man hobbies so I am lucky there.

I guess I come from a totally different angle and find it hard to relate to things, doesn't mean you are wrong. Just don't see it myself, there are probably lots of young people around me but as I am not creepy like Dane I don't try and stick my cock in them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of talk on Twitter (I know I know) that they met when she was 15 but didn't "date" until they were 18.

... "

What a surprise.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Why are people on focused on him dating someone so young

I wonder if she’s be dating him if he wasn’t rich and famous

Feels like there’s something in it for both of them, but we only demonise guys for liking youth, not her for liking all that money and fame

Let adults be adults.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Funny I don't recall people losing their shit when Harry styles was dating Caroline Flack (god rest her soul,rest in peace)

At the time all I remember was good on her ,you go girl etc....

Double standards much!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'd be just as concerned if I had a 50 year old son and he got engaged to a 23 year old woman.

Obviously I'm not concerned about these two I don't know them or their circumstances. The question was does it make you uncomfortable and it does. Do I care about either of them, whether it's him or her who's older? No, I don't. I do know that when I was 18 anybody over about 23 looked like a pensioner to me and in comparison to people over 40 I was incredibly naive and very inexperienced.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Funny I don't recall people losing their shit when Harry styles was dating Caroline Flack (god rest her soul,rest in peace)

At the time all I remember was good on her ,you go girl etc....

Double standards much!"

She got a shitload of online abuse for that and many other things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Funny I don't recall people losing their shit when Harry styles was dating Caroline Flack (god rest her soul,rest in peace)

At the time all I remember was good on her ,you go girl etc....

Double standards much!"

Well she did, She got so much online abuse at the time.

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By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"Dane Cook (50) got engaged to long term girlfriend Kelsi Taylor (23) after 5 years of dating.

Pause for basic maths.

Am I the only one who finds this a little uncomfortable?"

What about this makes you uncomfortable: him, her or both?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Dane Cook (50) got engaged to long term girlfriend Kelsi Taylor (23) after 5 years of dating.

Pause for basic maths.

Am I the only one who finds this a little uncomfortable?"

It's more unusual for people to get engaged and then married these days but it's okay for them to have traditional beliefs and follow them. I'm easy about it.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

There is no need to be selfish and get weird about what consenting adults do.

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By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol

I’d be interested to know what they talk about. Can’t be a whole lot of commonality there. Still, if they’re happy, so be it. I wish them well.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

2 adults together, I never see a problem with it as they haven't done anything wrong.

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By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Interesting article in the times today, written by a 45 year old female who has 3 lovers in their early twenties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfectly aware that I am generalising and being judgemental. But I feel uncomfortable when there is a significant age difference in a relationship and the man is the older partner. Life experiences etc, make me think that the power dynamic in the relationship would sit firmly with the man.

Having said that, the opposite could probably be argued that an older guy thinks he's won the lottery by having some gorgeous young thing on his arm and could be wrapped around her finger. So he's one potentially being manipulated.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Perfectly aware that I am generalising and being judgemental. But I feel uncomfortable when there is a significant age difference in a relationship and the man is the older partner. Life experiences etc, make me think that the power dynamic in the relationship would sit firmly with the man.

Your first sentence is absolutely correct. The rest is absolute conjecture and based on nothing more than your own connotations.

I can understand how it may on occasion seem that way but your feelings are based deeply in your own prejudices.

I guess your own comfort regarding these relationships is of absolutely no consequence to anyone involved in one and is your issue

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

As long as they're genuinely happy then good luck to them ..

Nobody else's business

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

It's none of my business.

If it was someone I knew I would probably find it uncomfortable, but I acknowledge that's my bias based on the fact that at a similar age I was in an abusive relationship with a man more than twice my age who abused my naivete.

As long as they're both happy, good luck to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your first sentence is absolutely correct. The rest is absolute conjecture and based on nothing more than your own connotations.

I can understand how it may on occasion seem that way but your feelings are based deeply in your own prejudices.

I guess your own comfort regarding these relationships is of absolutely no consequence to anyone involved in one and is your issue"

Everything everyone says on here is conjecture. We can only truly comment on an on topic from our own experiences and viewpoints. Everybody has some kind of "prejudice" to a greater or lesser degree.

And I don't expect anyone in such a relationship to give a rat's arse what a middle aged woman mother of 2 thinks of their relationship. I was simply offering my opinion to the thread, as was requested by the OP.

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Some ladies prefer older men. If they're playing within the lines then fine. If you're uncomfortable keep it to yourself.

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